1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: I rush out of there like Cruela Deville in one 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 1: hundred and one Dalmatians Death, gripping the wheel, red eyed, 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: just like mad, and I go back to our apartment. 4 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: I throw the credit card at him sitting on the couch, 5 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: and I scream, do you recognize these numbers? 6 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 2: I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, A show about 7 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 2: the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 8 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 2: change everything. A few months ago, my twin sister called me. 9 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 2: She wanted to connect me with someone what a betrayal 10 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 2: story of his own. It was her favorite fitness instructor, 11 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 2: Ryan Lewis. Ryan's a force of nature. 12 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: There's some days I'll teach four classes a day and 13 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: I'll still find time to take a class as well. 14 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 2: Ryan has an infectious energy. I can attest to this 15 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 2: firsthand because I used to take his class in my hometown. 16 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 2: Not only does he have the best music, but the 17 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: way he motivates the class. It's not just physical, it's 18 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 2: also emotional. I may or may not have cried in 19 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,559 Speaker 2: his class before. 20 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 1: Sometimes I bring my teaching home with me in terms 21 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: of like making somebody's day, or making somebody's life better, 22 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: or whatever it is. 23 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 2: Ryan's inclined to put other people's happiness first, sometimes to 24 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 2: a fault, and one of his core values is to 25 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 2: assume the best in others. 26 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: I will take somebody's word for what it is as 27 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: they're giving me, and I will believe them. And it's 28 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: just because I'd rather live in a world like that 29 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: than live in a world where I constantly, I don't know, 30 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: have my guard up. 31 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 2: He grew up outside of Philadelphia in a well to 32 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,559 Speaker 2: do family. He's very close with his parents and siblings. 33 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: The family is ambitious, academic. 34 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 3: And I was kind of the one that went and 35 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 3: charted my own path. 36 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 2: As a teenager, Ryan got into theater and his parents 37 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 2: were at every performance, like when he was cast as 38 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,519 Speaker 2: Jean Valjean in a local theater production of La Miz. 39 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: There were seven performances. My dad was at every single 40 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,679 Speaker 1: one of them. But he came to see it and 41 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: he was talking to one of my friends, who then 42 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: shared this with me. They were like, you must be 43 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: so proud of him, and He's like, of course I am. 44 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: You know, I was expecting to be in the bleachers 45 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: of like a Friday Night Lights kind of situation, but 46 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 1: this is like his varsity jacket moment. 47 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 2: After graduating high school, he went to NYU. 48 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:42,239 Speaker 3: Being in New York. 49 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: City, that's when I feel like my actual day dating 50 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: life started. 51 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 2: He started his first serious relationship with a guy he 52 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 2: met online. He was eleven years older than Ryan, and 53 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 2: he had an established job in finance. 54 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: There was a part of me, a large part of me, 55 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 1: that genuinely loved this man. But at the same time, 56 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: I was also loving the stuff that I was getting 57 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: from him, which were the drugs that I was looking 58 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: for that I couldn't really afford. 59 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 2: The two of them would go on benders together, partying 60 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:19,639 Speaker 2: and doing cocaine. When the relationship ended, Ryan's cocaine didn't. 61 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 2: His next boyfriend noticed it immediately. 62 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: He came over and I was very noticeably high, and 63 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: he was like, are we going out. 64 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 3: Tonight or something? And I was like nope. 65 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: So then he was like, I'm not going to do 66 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: this anymore. This has to immediately stop or I'm going 67 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: to leave you. So I did until I found a 68 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: way to keep that drug usage secret to the point 69 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: where I would just hope that he would then go 70 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: to bed or something and then I could party all night, 71 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: which I did. 72 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 2: He fell in love with this new guy. It was 73 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 2: the first time he could see himself with someone long term. 74 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 2: But all the while Ryan was lying to him hiding 75 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 2: his drug use. His boyfriend would draw a line in 76 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 2: the sand. Ryan would promise to get clean, but then 77 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 2: he'd end up using again and the cycle would repeat itself. 78 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 2: Ryan says that this was his rock bottom. 79 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 1: I went to do what would be my last line 80 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: now over ten years later. I just didn't feel anything, 81 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,279 Speaker 1: and I had, you know, the six or seven before 82 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: that of the night, but it just stopped working. And 83 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 1: it kind of was just this bigger moment, bigger than 84 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: myself kind of moment, this realization of, like, I think 85 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: this party is over. I had to come clean to 86 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: him that, like I had used again, and then he 87 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: had called my parents. My mom flew up no return 88 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: ticket and she was like, I'm not leaving New York 89 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: City until we get you the. 90 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 3: Help that you need. 91 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 2: Ryan started going to alpatient rehab every day. He and 92 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 2: his boy my friend, ultimately separated. Today, Ryan's been sober 93 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 2: for ten years. Back when he first got sober, he 94 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 2: found a new clarity on his priorities. He was twenty three, 95 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 2: a recent graduate with a degree in business administration, and 96 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 2: he landed a corporate marketing job, but getting sober changed him, 97 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 2: and marketing analytics felt empty. 98 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: I don't know how I can show up to work 99 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: and try to sell something that I have to put 100 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: on somebody else's hat for. I just like to come 101 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 1: from a really authentic place. 102 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 2: And what he was passionate about was fitness. 103 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: At the time, I was a frequent and avid writer 104 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: at soul Cycle. It was my transfer addiction, probably writing 105 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: like seven to ten times a week, doubling Monday Wednesday 106 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: Friday morning six am seven am. 107 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 3: Crazy. I know. 108 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 2: He went so often that one day an instructor asked 109 00:05:58,640 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 2: if he would be interested in tea. 110 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: I just graduated college from like one of the top 111 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: undergrad and graduate business schools in the country, and I 112 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 1: couldn't imagine saying to my parents, Hey, I'm going to 113 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: leave this to go become a cycling instructor. 114 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 2: But he decided to give it a shot, no matter 115 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 2: what his parents thought. 116 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: I wanted to wake up every morning excited for what 117 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: I got to do. 118 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 2: Of course, he was hired and began instructor training right away. 119 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 2: He knew that this wasn't just a job. It was 120 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 2: going to be his career. 121 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: They moved me to Philly because they were opening up 122 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 1: the first studio there. They knew I was from there 123 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: and they wanted me to be a part of the 124 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: opening team. And so I did that and opened up 125 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,599 Speaker 1: the two studios that are now there today. Was there 126 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: for like seven years. 127 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 2: After investing his entire twenties in growing his career, he 128 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,479 Speaker 2: wanted a partner he could build a life with, someone 129 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 2: who could match his passion and energy. 130 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:56,840 Speaker 3: I have a. 131 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: Huge heart and I have a lot of feelings, and 132 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: so I like to think that there is somebody out 133 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 1: there who is open to connecting that deeply and it 134 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: comes from a really authentic place. 135 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 2: In twenty nineteen, Ryan got a coveted summer position teaching 136 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 2: in the Hamptons. He was on the dating apps but 137 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 2: wasn't expecting to find anything serious. After all, it's a 138 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 2: vacation town. 139 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,679 Speaker 1: I've definitely had my fair share of hookups via Grinder, 140 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 1: like I have no shame about that. Very sex positive, 141 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: but I still don't execute as much as like the 142 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: opportunity maybe comes up. 143 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 2: Ryan had a lot of unopened messages on his dating apps, 144 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 2: but one day he got a message that piqued his interest. 145 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 2: It was from a guy we're going to call Jacques. 146 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: I remember just being like, this man is so attractive. 147 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: He had a bit of mystery to him. He's just 148 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: like a very like Jason Momoa in shape guy, darker 149 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: complexion and tattoos everywhere. And then he's also French. She 150 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: has a French accent as well, which like add that 151 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: to it. 152 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 2: Jock invited him over and Ryan didn't hesitate for this one. 153 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going. 154 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 2: When he got to Jacque's house in the Hampton's, he 155 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 2: was impressed. Jacques was a high level marketing executive with 156 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: the lifestyle to match. 157 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: He had this very cute, like cottagey kind of thing 158 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: out there that had a pool. We went in the 159 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 1: pool first, and he was very quiet, very like introverted, 160 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: and for that like I can't sit in silence, so 161 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: I'm just like blah bla blah blah blah blah talking 162 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 1: for ever, just so like we weren't hit the silence again, 163 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: still that air of mystery, and then we started making 164 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: out in the pool and I just remember being like 165 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: there was some electricity here I have never felt before, 166 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: just this like raw magnetism and then and it was 167 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 1: the same thing, and I was just like, oh my god, 168 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: this wow. 169 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,839 Speaker 2: After their flaing, he and Jacques followed each other on Instagram. 170 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 2: Summer was nearly over when they met, so Ryan returned 171 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 2: to his regular teaching position in the city without seeing 172 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 2: him again. Over the next few years, their only contact 173 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 2: was the occasional EMODIDM. That was until Ryan posted a 174 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 2: photo from his family vacation. 175 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: I was in Saint Bart's with my family and he 176 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: had DMD me excited posted a picture. It was like, 177 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: that's my favorite place on the planet. And he grew 178 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: up on Saint Bart's. Then we started talking and immediately 179 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 1: just very much back and forth, flirting, vulgar, not vulgar, 180 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 1: like all the things. And if I feel something, I'm 181 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 1: going to materialize it to words and share it with you. 182 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 1: And so I shared with him that like, I had 183 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: never felt something so so electric, something so magnetic as 184 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 1: the afternoon that we spent together, and I will never 185 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: be able to stop thinking about it. 186 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 3: And he's echoing the same thing back to me. 187 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: And so then we were going back and forth and 188 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,719 Speaker 1: it was just a matter from then, who's going to 189 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: go visit who first. 190 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 2: Even though it was a few years since they met, 191 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 2: their chemistry still felt electric. Ryan had moved back to 192 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 2: New York City and Jacques was living in Miami, so 193 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 2: Ryan made plans to go visit him there. A couple 194 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 2: of days before Ryan was set to arrive, Jaques called, 195 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 2: He's like, I've. 196 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 3: Got some bad news. 197 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: I have a friend that's going through something and she 198 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 1: has the risk training order against her husband who has 199 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: been physically abusing her, and she's taking her kid with 200 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 1: her and needs a place to stay. So she's going 201 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,320 Speaker 1: to stay at my apartment. 202 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 2: It wasn't ideal, but he was struck by Jacques's generosity. 203 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: I'm just like, that's so nice of you. I'm so 204 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 1: sorry that your friend is going through that. 205 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 2: They weren't able to stay together at Jacques's place, but 206 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 2: Jacques had a solution. A friend with an Airbnb said 207 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 2: that they could use it at a discount, so Ryan 208 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 2: paid him five hundred dollars for the place and boarded 209 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 2: a plane to Miami. 210 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: And I remember seeing him and this was the first 211 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: time I was seeing him in four years, being like 212 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: I am in big trouble. 213 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 3: Immediately it was. 214 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: Just like ah, like the heart started picking up all 215 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 1: the things butterflies. 216 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,439 Speaker 3: Was like, here we go. 217 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 2: Ryan took that first weekend with Jock slow. He already 218 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 2: knew they had a magnetic attraction. He wanted to get 219 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,839 Speaker 2: to know Jock on a deeper level. 220 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: I'm at this point in my life where like, I 221 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: want to start my next chapter, my settling down chapter, 222 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,960 Speaker 1: at least in terms of personal life. 223 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 2: They stayed up late and talked about their lives. Jock 224 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 2: had multiple citizenships, spoke four languages, and owned homes around 225 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 2: the world, all thanks to his illustrious career. 226 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: He was a very decorated marketing professional. He had worked 227 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 1: for three huge luxury designer brands over in their Europe offices. 228 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: He had worked for one of the most premier hotel 229 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: organizations as well, which was the job that he was 230 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 1: in at the time. I was just like, Wow, you 231 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: are in aggressive, impressive. 232 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 2: He traveled for work nearly every week and was really 233 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 2: well connected, which came with a lot of perks. It 234 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 2: wasn't just his resume that impressed Ryan, it was also 235 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,839 Speaker 2: his commitment to health and fitness. 236 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 1: He would get up at five or five thirty every morning. 237 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,960 Speaker 1: The first thing he would do is work out. He 238 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: also didn't drink. So it was all these values that 239 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: I was connecting to, But what the stickiness was was 240 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: the emotional vulnerability and access that he was giving. 241 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 2: Like Ryan, he was present, emotionally intelligent, empathetic. 242 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: We talked at the end of the weekend, right before 243 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:45,959 Speaker 1: I was about to leave, so I was like, well, 244 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 1: what are we doing here? Am I coming back down here? 245 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: Are you coming up to visit me? 246 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 3: Like? Are we moving forward with this? 247 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:59,599 Speaker 1: And he was like yeah, absolutely, And so I left excited, 248 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: but so like what are we then, which sounds crazy 249 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: after spending one weekend, but again for me, I was like, 250 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,839 Speaker 1: I've known you since twenty nineteen, We've talked throughout these 251 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 1: past four years, so like a foundation has been set. 252 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 2: Jacques was the full package, the right guy that Ryan 253 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 2: had been waiting for. When he went back to New York, 254 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 2: Ryan was almost giddy. 255 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 1: We were texting like all day every day, pretty much 256 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: like first text in the morning, last text at night. 257 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 2: They made plans for Ryan to go to Miami again 258 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 2: just a few weeks later, and this time he stayed 259 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 2: at Jack's apartment. It was all white with tall ceilings 260 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 2: and big glass windows. Ryan could see himself spending a 261 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 2: lot more. 262 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: Time there, and so I asked him, like, what is this, 263 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: Like I left unsure, are we still like dating around 264 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: in the places that we live whatever? He was like, 265 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 1: oh no, ever since you left, I've stopped that. 266 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 2: That night they made it a and to seal the deal, he. 267 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: Tells me that he loves me, and usually I'm the 268 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: person that gives that away real early in a relationship, 269 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: and I was just like, finally, Like, somebody is as 270 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: emotionally open and ready to be vulnerable as I am, 271 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: and like feels as deeply as I do, and all 272 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: these things. 273 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 2: They started dating long distance, but that's didn't stop them 274 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 2: from daydreaming about their future together. 275 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: He was like, I definitely want to get married to somebody. 276 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: I do think I want to have kids, and like 277 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: whenever we talked about that, it was always talking about 278 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,600 Speaker 1: it as I want you as that person. 279 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 2: The distance became excruciating. After every visit, Ryan fell more 280 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 2: in love with Jacques and with Miami. 281 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 3: I would cry in. 282 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 1: The uber on the way to the airport, cry on 283 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: the plane, and a part of it was because, yes, 284 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: I was saying goodbye to him, but also it's because like, 285 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: I was saying goodbye to Miami, and I loved being here, 286 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: loved being here. 287 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 2: One day, when Ryan was back in New York, he 288 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 2: got a surprising text from Jacques. 289 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: He sends me a picture in like the middle of 290 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: the afternoon on a weekday, and it's of his left 291 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 1: ring finger and it says three nineteen twenty twenty three. 292 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 2: That date was their anniversary, the day they made it official. 293 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: And like, for me back then, I was like, I 294 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: make moves like that, scary moves like that, Like nobody's 295 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 1: ever done that for me, And so I was just like, Wow, 296 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 1: this is real, real, real, real. And so I was 297 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 1: just like hook line Sinker, Like when are we making 298 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 1: this happen? 299 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 3: When am I moving here? 300 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 2: They started making plans for Ryan to move in. He 301 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 2: couldn't get a full time teaching position in Miami until 302 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 2: next year, so he'd have to pick up classes when 303 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 2: he could. 304 00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 3: And so I'm going. 305 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 1: To get I don't know how many classes, but I'm 306 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: like very much paid per class, So I'm going to 307 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 1: be taking a pay cut from what I have right now. 308 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,959 Speaker 1: And he was like, don't worry about a thing. I 309 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,160 Speaker 1: will cover rent, I will cover all this stuff. Maybe 310 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: help out with groceries every week, and I was like, 311 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: I can do that. 312 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 2: At the time, Jacques was the CMO at a luxury 313 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 2: hotel brand. He could afford to cover some of their 314 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 2: bills Before they took the big step to move in together, 315 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,359 Speaker 2: Ryan invited him to meet his parents, who'd also relocated 316 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 2: to Florida. His parents loved the idea of Ryan being 317 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,239 Speaker 2: close by. When they met for dinner, Jacques made a 318 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,359 Speaker 2: big first impression. 319 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 1: He was very good at sharing all these stories about 320 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,399 Speaker 1: how this hotel brand had locations all around the world 321 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,400 Speaker 1: and that he had been to ninety percent of them 322 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 1: on like the company's jet with the CEO, all of 323 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 1: this stuff. 324 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 2: In fact, Jacques arrived at the dinner straight from a 325 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 2: day of work at the CEO's estate. 326 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,199 Speaker 1: It showed up having just gotten back from his house 327 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 1: working there for the day and everything, saying that he 328 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,160 Speaker 1: had a great salad that was prepared by his chef 329 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: and all these things and whatnot. First name dropping, first 330 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 1: name dropping, and so I was just like, okay, cool. 331 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 2: Jacques seemed a bit nervous, but he passed the test 332 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 2: for Ryan's parents after that and moved to Miami. Was 333 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 2: just a matter of logistics. 334 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: We had settled on a date of end of August 335 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 1: for me to move to Miami, and she was like, 336 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 1: I'll take care of everything. 337 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 3: You just had to pay for the flight. 338 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,719 Speaker 2: When he got there, life with Jacques was better than 339 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 2: he imagined. 340 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,399 Speaker 1: It was like honeymoon. I was also just like honeymooning 341 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: with Miami. I was just over indexing on joy, cooking 342 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: at home every night, you know, going to walk his dog, 343 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: our dog, and so it very much felt like, Wow. 344 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 3: This is it. 345 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 2: He knew Jacques was the one, and it came from 346 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 2: the simple moments. 347 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: I was there at the park with him and he 348 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 1: was like holding my hand or had his arm around 349 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 1: me and all this stuff, and I was just like, wow, 350 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: you are really proud to be my boyfriend. 351 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 2: Everything was going smoothly until one day Jacques came home 352 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 2: and said he quit his executive marketing job, just out 353 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 2: of the blue. 354 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 3: He just walked in one day and was like, I 355 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 3: just quit. I was like what. 356 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:34,680 Speaker 2: The announcement rattled Ryan, especially considering that Jacques assured him 357 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 2: that he would support the couple financially. 358 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: But he owned two apartments in Paris, and so he 359 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: was getting like a steady stream monthly income from. 360 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 2: That, and he was well connected in the marketing world. 361 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 2: He said he'd find another job, no problem, and Ryan 362 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:56,320 Speaker 2: trusted him. Ryan focused on settling into the new city, 363 00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 2: making friends, and exploring Miami's music scene. One of his 364 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 2: favorite bands was coming into town, so he borrowed his 365 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 2: dad's credit card to get pre sale tickets. A few 366 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 2: weeks later, Ryan logged in to pay off the bill. 367 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,159 Speaker 1: The balance was a lot higher than what the tickets 368 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:20,360 Speaker 1: were for, and so I look and there's two line items. 369 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 1: One was Ticketmaster, the other was for nine hundred and 370 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,320 Speaker 1: ninety dollars, and it was something something like a name 371 00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: of some sorts Fort Lauderdale, And so I was like, okay, 372 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 1: that's weird. 373 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 2: He contested the charge and submitted a report, and he 374 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 2: told his parents to keep him posted about the fraudulent charge. 375 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 2: A few weeks later, he was in between teaching classes 376 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 2: when he got a text from his mom. She wanted 377 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 2: to talk on the phone right away. Her formality scared him. 378 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,639 Speaker 2: He feared a family emergency, and. 379 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 1: So I called, and she goes, are you at home 380 00:20:59,040 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 1: right now? 381 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 3: And I was like no, and she was like great. 382 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: And then my dad goes, hey, Ry, and I very 383 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: much realized I was on speaker. 384 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,119 Speaker 3: Both of them were on the phone. That never happens. 385 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 1: They were like, so we got the results back from 386 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: American Express, and it turns out that that charge is 387 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: very real. It's shock and it's for a divorced lawyer. 388 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 1: Did you know that he was married? 389 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 2: Ryan's parents called in with news about a fraudulent charge 390 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,439 Speaker 2: on their credit card. They'd done a full investigation and 391 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 2: traced the charge to a divorce lawyer in Fort Lauderdale. 392 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,719 Speaker 2: What they found was Jacques had met with a lawyer 393 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 2: and he charged that meeting to their amex. 394 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:11,679 Speaker 1: I started crying, freaking out, hysterics and I was like, 395 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to call you in an hour. 396 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,880 Speaker 3: I have to go teach right now. So I hung up. 397 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,440 Speaker 1: I went in to teach the class somehow, and I'm 398 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: just like, everything is falling apart very quickly. I get 399 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: out of class. I rush out of there like Cruela 400 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,359 Speaker 1: Deville in one hundred and one Dalmatians Death, gripping the wheel, 401 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:38,919 Speaker 1: red eyed, just like mad. And I'm talking to my 402 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 1: parents about it. They're like, what are you going to do? 403 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 1: And I was like, I mean, I'm going home right now, 404 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: to talk to this man, and they're like, obviously you 405 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:47,360 Speaker 1: have to leave him. 406 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean probably. 407 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 2: Ryan wanted answers he needed to hear Jacques explain himself. 408 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 3: I go to. 409 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 1: Our apartment and I throw the credit card at him 410 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,160 Speaker 1: sitting on the couch, and I screamed, do you recognize 411 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 1: these numbers? And he's like, what are you talking about? 412 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: Hands up on guard. I was just like, do you 413 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 1: recognize these numbers? And he was like, why do you 414 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 1: keep asking me that? And I was like, there was 415 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,679 Speaker 1: a credit card charge for over nine hundred dollars that 416 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 1: was for a divorce lawyer based in Fort Lauderdale, and 417 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: the invoice had your name on it. And he was like, 418 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,119 Speaker 1: that's crazy. Why would I use your credit card to 419 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: do that? And I was like, I don't know, like 420 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: you tell me, and he was just so aggressively denying it, 421 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,880 Speaker 1: even though like the cold heart evidence. 422 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 3: Was right there. 423 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 2: They fought that whole night until Jacques finally confessed that, yes, 424 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 2: he was in the process of getting divorced. 425 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: He was basically saying things like it was all for 426 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 1: a green card. We were dating, but we agreed to 427 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,479 Speaker 1: get married and whatever, and then you know, it ended 428 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 1: and he was using me like I was the provider 429 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,440 Speaker 1: and whatnot, and I had to get out of there 430 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,679 Speaker 1: basically saying things like that, and so for me, I 431 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if there's really that much there. 432 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,119 Speaker 2: He said that using Ryan's credit card or his parents' 433 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 2: credit card rather was just an accident, but that confession 434 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 2: was quickly overshadowed by what Ryan discovered. Next, he wanted 435 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 2: to search Jock's phone to see if there was anything 436 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 2: else he was hiding. 437 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,879 Speaker 1: I was like, give me your phone, and so he 438 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 1: hands it to me. I immediately go to his Instagram 439 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 1: and his text messages, and there are over thirty forty 440 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:51,640 Speaker 1: conversations with all different guys. It varies from dirty talk 441 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 1: to sending pictures to sending video to proof that he 442 00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: invited men over, dating back to when we had started 443 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: dating in March, and all throughout. 444 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 2: For each person he talked to, Jacques was putting on 445 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 2: a totally different persona, and Ryan didn't recognize any of them. 446 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,640 Speaker 1: I remember distinctly saying to him, I do like dirty talk, 447 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 1: especially if we're going to do long distance pictures, videos, whatever. 448 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,399 Speaker 3: I want to feel physically connected to you. 449 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,159 Speaker 1: And he's like it's so outside of my comfort zone, 450 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna work on it. It never happened, never happened, 451 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,400 Speaker 1: And so the stuff that I was reading, even though 452 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 1: it's something that I like doing, was to a level 453 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: I would never say. And so I'm like screaming at 454 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,360 Speaker 1: him about that. You seem to have no problem. 455 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 3: Being like this. 456 00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:00,679 Speaker 2: Ryan scrolled through Jacques's messages with dozens of guys, furious 457 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:06,400 Speaker 2: and heartbroken, but also confused because Jacques didn't have one 458 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,879 Speaker 2: story about his life. He had many. 459 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,919 Speaker 1: There were so many different ways that he was talking 460 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 1: to these guys where sometimes they would call him out 461 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,919 Speaker 1: and be like I thought you were seeing somebody, and 462 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: he would respond with yeah, so like nothing's going to 463 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,120 Speaker 1: happen here, And then the next time if somebody said 464 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: that to him, he'd be like, yeah, but I can. 465 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,159 Speaker 3: Do whatever I want, or yeah, but we're in an. 466 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,360 Speaker 1: Open relationship, or like he doesn't have to know anything 467 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 1: like that, and so I'm just reading all of this 468 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,679 Speaker 1: those messages he couldn't deny, and surprisingly he didn't, but 469 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:43,720 Speaker 1: he created a story. 470 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 2: Jock's story was that these flings happened before he started 471 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,679 Speaker 2: dating Ryan, but it was a bold lie considering. Ryan 472 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 2: could see the timestamps on the messages and knew it 473 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:59,359 Speaker 2: wasn't true, so he decided to DM one of the guys. 474 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 1: And so there was this one guy that I got 475 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,679 Speaker 1: the sense that he had been over a lot. I 476 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,640 Speaker 1: just said, hey, what's up, and he goes, hey, because 477 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 1: my front grid had pictures of me and Jaques together, 478 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 1: can you let your boyfriend know that he owes me 479 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:17,920 Speaker 1: sixty dollars? 480 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 3: And I was like Jesus Christ. 481 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: I said, I'll do my best, but I'm going to 482 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 1: let you know you're probably not going to see that 483 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: money back. 484 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,879 Speaker 2: Ryan confronted him again, and that's when he saw a 485 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 2: new side of shock. 486 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 1: He then starts to have a full on breakdown in 487 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: front of me and was just losing it. I'd never 488 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 1: seen him really cry before, and he was like, you know, 489 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 1: I grew up as kind of a fat kid, was 490 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: bullied a lot, was not looked at in any sort of, 491 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,960 Speaker 1: you know, attractive way, And ever since I started working 492 00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,399 Speaker 1: on myself, I've been getting a lot of attention. And 493 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: it's the first time that I'm really receiving that, and 494 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 1: I obviously enjoyed it, but then it's very clear that 495 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: I enjoyed it too much and I never meant to 496 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 1: hurt you. 497 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,720 Speaker 2: Seeing Jacques distraught and vulnerable triggered Ryan's need to help 498 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 2: to make it better. 499 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,880 Speaker 1: There is a part inside me that did not want 500 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,199 Speaker 1: to admit that what I had been waiting for for 501 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 1: quite some time that had finally arrived. I was not 502 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,639 Speaker 1: ready to let go. I was really holding on to like, no, this, 503 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: I found him, this is it. It's my person. I'm 504 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 1: fighting for this. 505 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,440 Speaker 2: It also reminded him of his own rock bottom ten 506 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 2: years earlier, but his boyfriend at the time stuck by 507 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 2: him and got him the help he needed to get sober. 508 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:47,160 Speaker 1: When I had hit rock bottom, my boyfriend at the 509 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: time had stayed with me, and I was like, this 510 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: feels like Jacques's emotional rock bottom, and this is my 511 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 1: chance to pay it forward and be there for my partner, 512 00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 1: and so I decided to stay. 513 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 2: Jacques was talking about his mistakes openly with Ryan, which 514 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 2: felt like the right step, and Ryan knew that relationships 515 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 2: were nuanced. 516 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 1: I had always worked through, or tried my best to 517 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 1: work through the tougher moments in relationships, because realistically they're 518 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 1: not perfect. He was willing to go to therapy by 519 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: himself and with me. He was showing up and fully surrendering, 520 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: which for me is what I did ten years ago 521 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:29,160 Speaker 1: for myself. 522 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 2: So they set up new boundaries, boundaries that Jock agreed to. 523 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: He was agreeing to anything I said. You will not 524 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 1: have access to Instagram. Instagram is now under my email 525 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 1: and my phone number, and I'm changing the password and whatnot. 526 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 2: Ryan was comfortable giving Jaques a second chance, but when 527 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 2: he told his. 528 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 3: Parents, they were not happy. 529 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 2: They had done their own research on Jock. 530 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 1: When the divorced lawyer charge came through. They had done 531 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:07,000 Speaker 1: their research and found that when you google him, it's 532 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 1: his LinkedIn and then it's a court case. 533 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,960 Speaker 2: Jacques was named in a lawsuit over an illegal sublet 534 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 2: and unpaid rent scheme in the Hamptons. The case amounted 535 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 2: to fraud worth over one hundred thousand dollars, but there 536 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 2: was an explanation. It was his ex husband, the one 537 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 2: from the green card marriage. He was actually the one 538 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 2: responsible for those charges, but because they were married, Jacques 539 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 2: was also named on the lawsuit. 540 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 1: I'm talking to my parents about it and they're bringing 541 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: up the court case. I'm like, no, he's been cleared 542 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 1: of that they had no case or whatever, and I'm 543 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 1: waiting for him to get the documents, like, I'll send 544 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:43,520 Speaker 1: it to you. 545 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 2: Ryan's parents didn't buy it, and in fact, it created 546 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 2: a rift between them, the first one they ever had. 547 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,720 Speaker 1: My mom and I did not talk. I would occasionally 548 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: talk to my dad. 549 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 2: Ryan doubled down and said he wouldn't be coming home 550 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 2: for Thanksgiving if Jacques couldn't come too. He felt that 551 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 2: Jacques deserved a second chance, just like everyone else, and 552 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 2: his parents just didn't understand. Soon, Jacques was no longer 553 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 2: the problem. The problem became Ryan's parents. 554 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 1: When I started to like not believe him and start 555 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: to question him, he would always say, you sound just 556 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: like your mom right now. 557 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 2: During this time, Ryan needed to buy a new car 558 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,080 Speaker 2: for work. With their relationships seemingly on the right track, 559 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 2: he and Jacque decided to go in on their dream 560 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 2: car together. 561 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 3: We both really. 562 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: Wanted to Ford Bronco really badly, and so we had 563 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 1: bought one. He said that we're not going to get 564 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 1: approved for it if my name's on it, because my 565 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 1: credit's really bad because I just bought this apartment and. 566 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 3: Sold the other one. 567 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,720 Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh, that's fine, Like, I'll 568 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 1: put my name on it, and he was like, we'll 569 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: just split the monthly payments and whatnot. 570 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,280 Speaker 2: They ordered the car and had it fully customized. 571 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 1: It was all in ninety two thousand dollars, which I 572 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 1: was fine with because for me, I was still like, 573 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,800 Speaker 1: I can afford half of the monthly payments as long as. 574 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:11,479 Speaker 3: You're paying half. 575 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 2: Then the first car payment came. 576 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 3: I Venmo requested him for it. 577 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 1: He gets it back to me immediately, and then I 578 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 1: get all the emails from Venmo. 579 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 3: It's all that transaction, and then. 580 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,360 Speaker 1: There's one from like twenty minutes before that says that 581 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 1: I paid Jock eight hundred dollars, and I was like, no, 582 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: I did. I requested something around that from him, but 583 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: I did not pay him. 584 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 3: And so I was like, that's weird. 585 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 1: So before I like bring it up, I was like, 586 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:44,600 Speaker 1: let me go into my app look at the ledger. 587 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 1: It's very much there that I paid him eight hundred dollars. 588 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,000 Speaker 1: And then there's also me paying one hundred and eighty 589 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: dollars two days before, and then about one hundred and 590 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 1: fifty a day before that. 591 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 3: I for sure did not do any of those. 592 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:03,240 Speaker 2: But Ryan I never got an email receipt about these payments. 593 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 1: So I was like, let me look at the trash bin, 594 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 1: and that's where the emails were. There was the only 595 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: two emails sitting in there. And that's when I absolutely 596 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 1: knew that it was him, because I don't delete emails 597 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,080 Speaker 1: because I'm afraid I'm gonna need something, So I archive 598 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:24,840 Speaker 1: all my emails, and so he had gone into my phone, 599 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,400 Speaker 1: paid himself and then went into my email and cleared 600 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: the history of it. 601 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 2: There it was proof that Jacques was not only stealing 602 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,840 Speaker 2: money from him, but he was covering it up. 603 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,320 Speaker 1: And it was after the fact of that instance where like, 604 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,400 Speaker 1: you hit to me what I called your rock bottom, 605 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,560 Speaker 1: and it turns out it's not this is just who 606 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 1: you are. 607 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:50,560 Speaker 3: It's just who you are. 608 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 2: That was that when Ryan made this discovery, Jaques was 609 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,920 Speaker 2: out of the house, so he took the opportunity to run. 610 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 1: He was out walking his dog, and I got as 611 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:11,720 Speaker 1: much stuff as I could of mine and left called 612 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,879 Speaker 1: my parents. My mom and I were both hysterically crying 613 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,840 Speaker 1: over the phone, just because, like my dad said, his seventies, 614 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 1: my mom's in her sixties, and I lost being able 615 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,279 Speaker 1: to go see her. I was going to do that 616 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: in October, and I was going to do that November 617 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,520 Speaker 1: and I didn't. And I even canceled going to Thanksgiving 618 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: with them because I was like, I'm not going to 619 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,000 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's not allowed to come to Thanksgiving 620 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 1: kind of thing. And I said no to my parents 621 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 1: because of this. I felt so bad. I felt so 622 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,560 Speaker 1: sorry because like I didn't believe my parents or I 623 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 1: didn't want to listen to them, and it sucked. That's 624 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,720 Speaker 1: just time that I'll never get back that he stole. 625 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: And granted it could have been a lot longer, could 626 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,440 Speaker 1: have signed off for the rest of my life with 627 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,360 Speaker 1: this man and therefore signed off from the rest of 628 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 1: my life with my parents. 629 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 2: His parents forgave him immediately, but the process of leaving 630 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 2: Jacques was just beginning then. 631 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 1: It was very much like Operation Rescue. And so I 632 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,320 Speaker 1: stayed in a hotel. 633 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 3: For a week. 634 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,600 Speaker 2: Ryan thought he was going to spend the rest of 635 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,359 Speaker 2: his life with this man, and now he wasn't sure 636 00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:29,440 Speaker 2: if anything he'd been told was true. He needed to 637 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,719 Speaker 2: talk to Jacques's ex husband, you know, in the Green 638 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 2: card marriage. 639 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,440 Speaker 1: I was just like, I don't think I can sink 640 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:42,120 Speaker 1: any lower right now, so let's at least say so. 641 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,280 Speaker 3: I was like, Hey, this is Ryan. 642 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 1: I was dating Jacques and just broke up with him, 643 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,200 Speaker 1: and I just loved to talk to you about your experience. 644 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:52,719 Speaker 1: The first thing that he said to me was that 645 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,840 Speaker 1: man is scum and deserves to be in jail. And 646 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, we can talk, we can talk. 647 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 2: His ex had a lot to say about Jaques, especially 648 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 2: the lies he discovered in their marriage. 649 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,960 Speaker 1: Jacques had claimed that not only was he French and 650 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,560 Speaker 1: therefore a citizen of there, he was also a dual 651 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,720 Speaker 1: citizen of Israel and he had. 652 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 3: Fought in the IDF. 653 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:23,279 Speaker 1: They were in their government interview before their wedding and 654 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:28,279 Speaker 1: the official had asked, Jaques, have you ever served in 655 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: an international military service? 656 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,200 Speaker 3: And Jaques just flat out and said no. 657 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,160 Speaker 1: And his ex sat next to him being like in 658 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 1: his mind like obviously not going to bring up in 659 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,759 Speaker 1: front of a government official, but like, why are you 660 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:41,680 Speaker 1: lying to this person? 661 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,120 Speaker 2: Did he ever fight in the IDF? Or was that 662 00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,719 Speaker 2: another lie? All those stories Jacques told him about how 663 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:56,279 Speaker 2: his ex husband was leeching off him, the opposite was true. 664 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 2: Ryan and Jaques's x talked almost every for those first 665 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,280 Speaker 2: few months. They were both members of a crappy club. 666 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,120 Speaker 1: He is such a good guy and in their relationship 667 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 1: was the provider and was so generous with Jacques. Again 668 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: really believed that he also had found his person. 669 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,160 Speaker 2: Ryan also found a mutual friend, someone who'd known Jacques 670 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,880 Speaker 2: in Saint Bart's. He'd been invited to Jacques's childhood home, 671 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,520 Speaker 2: which was a huge mansion. 672 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,440 Speaker 3: He looked it up. It's an airbnb that he rented. 673 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,960 Speaker 2: After Ryan got out of the relationship and started to 674 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,719 Speaker 2: see the deception and lies for what they were, he 675 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,280 Speaker 2: developed a new theory about Jacques. Jacques had always seemed 676 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,840 Speaker 2: to be so perceptive. He always knew what Ryan was 677 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 2: thinking and what he was worried about before he even 678 00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 2: said anything. But maybe it was more sinister than just intuition. 679 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 2: When Jacques was out of the apartment, Ryan would talk 680 00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,200 Speaker 2: on the phone to his friends, his parents, his therapist. 681 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:06,400 Speaker 1: He has a ring camera or whatever for his dog, 682 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,359 Speaker 1: and he would pick up on the conversations and listen 683 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,640 Speaker 1: to them. He listened to every single one of my 684 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:16,240 Speaker 1: therapy sessions. He would leave the apartment and sit somewhere else, 685 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:20,040 Speaker 1: but he was very much tuning in and listening to 686 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: the entire hour. That's like the long con of it all, 687 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,200 Speaker 1: which is just like I need to know what is 688 00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,320 Speaker 1: making this guy tick right now so I can hold 689 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:35,839 Speaker 1: on and keep pulling from him. 690 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 2: No wonder he was so intuitive. He was listening in 691 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:43,680 Speaker 2: on Ryan's therapy sessions all along. It was total manipulation 692 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,160 Speaker 2: to make Ryan feel like Jacques truly solemn, understood him, 693 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:55,600 Speaker 2: loved him. How much money did Ryan lose in this relationship? 694 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 2: This is what he estimates. 695 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:04,480 Speaker 1: It is fifty eight thousand dollars this cars, but under 696 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,760 Speaker 1: my name. Obviously I took it with me when I left, 697 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,960 Speaker 1: and at some point I was like, this is stupid 698 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,680 Speaker 1: for me to have, and so I went to sell it, thinking, 699 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,439 Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm gonna make money off of this. 700 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:18,040 Speaker 3: This is great. 701 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:22,319 Speaker 1: Apparently I was kind of an idiot to not read 702 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 1: the fine print and just trust. But we had bought 703 00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: it I think twenty thousand dollars over MSRP because at 704 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:32,359 Speaker 1: that point Ford Broncos were so heavy in demand, and 705 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,600 Speaker 1: then in a matter of four months nobody really wants them. 706 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,600 Speaker 1: And so when I went to sell it, I sold 707 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: it into a loss of forty two thousand dollars. 708 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,120 Speaker 2: Ryan stayed in Florida and so did Jock, in the 709 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,680 Speaker 2: same apartment. Ryan doesn't want to leave Miami because he 710 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:56,520 Speaker 2: loves it there. They have run into each other from 711 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 2: a distance. 712 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,640 Speaker 1: I saw him walking into his building because unfortunately, part 713 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,719 Speaker 1: of my commute is to drive by that building. And 714 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:10,960 Speaker 1: he was walking in with his dog, wearing a black hoodie, 715 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,719 Speaker 1: and I just like and I realized that in the 716 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:18,719 Speaker 1: back of his sweatshirt says sad Dads on it, which 717 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,960 Speaker 1: is from the National the Band, a concert that I 718 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 1: had gone to right before I left New York to 719 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:29,879 Speaker 1: come down here. He was wearing my sweatshirt. I thought 720 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,279 Speaker 1: that I had lost that sweatshirt. 721 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,080 Speaker 2: It's strange watching from the sidelines as Jacques continues a 722 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,600 Speaker 2: life of deception and lies. As for that tattoo that 723 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,960 Speaker 2: Jacques got, the one with their anniversary date on his finger, 724 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,799 Speaker 2: it was one of many tattoos Jaques had, tattoos that 725 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 2: Ryan now sees differently. 726 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,480 Speaker 1: He has one it's like a dove and then it 727 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 1: goes into a name and I was like, who's that 728 00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,880 Speaker 1: And he says, Oh, that was my friend in France 729 00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,120 Speaker 1: and we were on motorcycles together and I watched a 730 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:08,120 Speaker 1: car hit him and he died. And now looking back, 731 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,880 Speaker 1: I'm just like that was the next boyfriend. That was 732 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,759 Speaker 1: a next boyfriend for me, Like I have to have 733 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,920 Speaker 1: some fun or like find some comedy in it. I 734 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:23,719 Speaker 1: said to my friend, I wonder how I died. I 735 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,359 Speaker 1: wonder what my story is. I'd really love to know. 736 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,600 Speaker 2: Ryan's ready to let go of the shame and self 737 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 2: blame he felt after this betrayal, and telling his story 738 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:39,160 Speaker 2: is part of that release. We end all of our 739 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,919 Speaker 2: weekly episodes with the same question, why did you want 740 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,200 Speaker 2: to tell your story? 741 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:49,239 Speaker 1: I'm hoping that this is the final release for me. 742 00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:53,680 Speaker 1: This is no longer just mine. This is somebody else's 743 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,759 Speaker 1: to connect to and be like I didn't think this 744 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,600 Speaker 1: could happen to me, but like it actually can, because 745 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:03,640 Speaker 1: it can happen to any Thank God, I'm not. 746 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:04,239 Speaker 3: The only one. 747 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,280 Speaker 2: On the next episode of Betrayal. 748 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:16,280 Speaker 3: People who are in this incredibly vulnerable spot of trying 749 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,200 Speaker 3: to be better for their children. 750 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,719 Speaker 2: If I were evil, I would leave that one alone. 751 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:27,840 Speaker 2: You know that seems like a line. If you would 752 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,839 Speaker 2: like to reach out to the Betrayal team or want 753 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,800 Speaker 2: to tell us your betrayal story. Email us at Betrayal 754 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:37,400 Speaker 2: pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal pod at gmail 755 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:41,120 Speaker 2: dot com. We're grateful for your support. One way to 756 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,319 Speaker 2: show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts, 757 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,279 Speaker 2: and don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five star 758 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 2: reviews go a long way. A big thank you to 759 00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:54,239 Speaker 2: all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, 760 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,839 Speaker 2: a division of Glass Entertainment Group, in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. 761 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,400 Speaker 2: The show is executive produced by Glass and Jennifer Fason, 762 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:06,000 Speaker 2: hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced 763 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 2: by Monique Leboard, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers 764 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:14,440 Speaker 2: are Kristin Mercury and Caitlin Golden. Our iHeart team is 765 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:18,000 Speaker 2: Ali Perry and Jessica Krinchek. Audio editing and mixing by 766 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:22,080 Speaker 2: Matt del Vecchio, Additional editing support from Nico Ruka and 767 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:27,560 Speaker 2: Tanner Robbins. Betrayal's theme composed by Oliver Bains. Music library 768 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:31,520 Speaker 2: provided by myb Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, 769 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,200 Speaker 2: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get 770 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:36,560 Speaker 2: your podcasts.