Speaker 1: Episode three forty four, Saving Money on Adoption with Amanda Coval.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life. Here your
Speaker 2: hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill. Today we have a very niche episode,
Speaker 1: but it is with my friend Amanda, who I think
Speaker 1: is doing an absolute service to the world with what
Speaker 1: she does, and she has made it her business, her goal,
Speaker 1: her life's mission, to help families grow through adoption affordably keyword, affordably,
Speaker 1: and so I wanted to share that on the podcast
Speaker 1: because I get to book the guests.
Speaker 3: Yes, we've never covered this topic before, but I'm so glad.
Speaker 4: That we're doing it now.
Speaker 3: And Amanda was the perfect person to talk about this
Speaker 3: from her own journey and perspective as well as what
Speaker 3: and how she has helped others in their journey. It's
Speaker 3: all so beautiful and we recognize and mention it throughout
Speaker 3: the podcast that there's a variety of reasons that people
Speaker 3: might choose adoption, whether it's having gone through infertility issues,
Speaker 3: whether it's choosing to not have your own biological children,
Speaker 3: or sometimes people adopting because they know of a need
Speaker 3: that's in the community around them. So all sorts of
Speaker 3: reasons that you might be here and you are welcomed here,
Speaker 3: and hopefully you can find yourself somewhere within the midst
Speaker 3: of Amanda's personal story. But with that said, of course,
Speaker 3: this episode is brought to us by the perfect sized
Speaker 3: watering can. If you have plants, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's not too small that you can't hardly water anything,
Speaker 3: and it's not so big that you can't lift it
Speaker 3: when it's full of water. It's just right and usually
Speaker 3: only requires one to two refills to get the job done.
Speaker 3: And if you're looking for a more efficient way to
Speaker 3: get the job done, so to speak, when it comes
Speaker 3: to taking advantage of freebies and savings tips, then you
Speaker 3: need the friend Letter. It's free, it's written by Jen
Speaker 3: and I and it comes to your inbox three times
Speaker 3: a week with everything you need to cut costs, save
Speaker 3: spend better. The Friend Letter the best watering can you
Speaker 3: can own, providing you three refills per week. Frugal friendspodcast
Speaker 3: dot com slash friend Letter.
Speaker 1: Or you could just turn on the hose plant your
Speaker 1: garden outside and then join the friend letter and listen
Speaker 1: to the podcast and just get a deluge of frugal.
Speaker 4: Friends like turn.
Speaker 3: I appreciate the deluge, but some of us jen have
Speaker 3: plants in pots inside our houses or on our porches,
Speaker 3: and we don't want the deluge on our dry wall.
Speaker 1: I used to have indoor plants and they died because
Speaker 1: I couldn't water them with the host. More on that,
Speaker 1: lay just never watered them. More on that later, More
Speaker 1: on a lot later. So Amanda is a good friend
Speaker 1: of mine. I've known her for gosh, like two or
Speaker 1: three years now, three yeah, three years now. I met
Speaker 1: her when we were taking an online course together and
Speaker 1: we started accountability group to get through the course, and
Speaker 1: we were both creating courses ourselves. And the course that
Speaker 1: Amanda was creating was to help prospective adoptive parents make
Speaker 1: better profiles so that they can get matched faster and
Speaker 1: i e. Save money because the more time it takes,
Speaker 1: the more money you spend, and do it in a
Speaker 1: way that's very cost effective. Because she is the adoptive
Speaker 1: mom of two, she spent a lot of money to
Speaker 1: adopt her kids because she didn't know of any other
Speaker 1: way or when she learned she didn't feel confident enough
Speaker 1: to use these other cost saving methods, And so she's
Speaker 1: helped over a thousand families over the past eight years.
Speaker 1: Match and these are people who just started and some
Speaker 1: of these people have spent tens of thousands of dollars
Speaker 1: on advertising that got them nowhere or with agencies that
Speaker 1: got them nowhere. And she has helped so many people
Speaker 1: grow their families more affordably. So if that is you,
Speaker 1: or you want to send this episode to somebody, this
Speaker 1: is for you. And I'm so excited to share all
Speaker 1: of Amanda's wisdom about saving money on adoption.
Speaker 3: Yes, and if you want to, you up any other
Speaker 3: episodes that again we've never done. We've never covered this
Speaker 3: topic before. But other items related to parenthood episode three
Speaker 3: thirty two Money Motivation for Moms with Kat Collins. We've
Speaker 3: also got episode two eighty three Frugal Parenting mindset Shifts,
Speaker 3: and you'll hear from Amanda how that is going to
Speaker 3: be important even in the pre placement process. Alliteration unintended,
Speaker 3: but accepted. So those are other episodes, but let's stay
Speaker 3: tuned for this one.
Speaker 1: Amanda, Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast. I am very
Speaker 1: excited you are here. It's finally to be able to
Speaker 1: get you on. I'm so excited just to hang out
Speaker 1: with you a little bit.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much. I am super excited to be here.
Speaker 5: A longtime listener for TI caller, but I'm so excited
Speaker 5: to be here with you guys today.
Speaker 1: So, Amanda, tell us a little bit about your journey
Speaker 1: to adoption and kind of the costs that came along
Speaker 1: with that journey.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So we definitely had a long road to get
Speaker 5: to become parents. It was something that I always knew
Speaker 5: was really important to me, and we went through a
Speaker 5: several years struggle with infertility, which in and of itself
Speaker 5: was pretty costly. We were very lucky that my insurance
Speaker 5: at the time, the company I was working for, was
Speaker 5: really great for infertility and covered a lot of our costs,
Speaker 5: but we still paid probably ten to fifteen thousand dollars
Speaker 5: out of pocket at infertility costs before we ever came
Speaker 5: to adoption. And it was one of those decisions that,
Speaker 5: again we just knew we were meant to be parents,
Speaker 5: and so we knew that somehow it was going to work, somehow,
Speaker 5: something was going to finally stick, and we decided that
Speaker 5: adoption was what we were meant to do and to
Speaker 5: pursue our family, and we actually adopted two children here
Speaker 5: in the United States using an adoption agency. We have
Speaker 5: a daughter who is eight and a son who is five,
Speaker 5: after was probably an eleven year journey to get to
Speaker 5: them of being here and being home in our family.
Speaker 5: And the biggest thing that I learned throughout the entire
Speaker 5: process is that it's not easy and it can be
Speaker 5: pretty expensive. And that's what I'm excited to share with
Speaker 5: your audience today is that there are some ways that
Speaker 5: you can save money but yet still support your children's
Speaker 5: first families along the way. And to me, that's really
Speaker 5: the ultimate goal is to make adoption easier and to
Speaker 5: make it more affordable for everyone.
Speaker 6: How incredible.
Speaker 1: What was your thoughts about adoption, like before you got
Speaker 1: on that eleven year journey, Like, that's not just something
Speaker 1: you dove past. What was that mindset or learning curve
Speaker 1: to make this decision?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so, really deciding to adopt was a big decision,
Speaker 5: moving past the idea of the child being biologically our
Speaker 5: and that was something that quite honestly, that I didn't
Speaker 5: spend as much time as I should have in counseling,
Speaker 5: but I did spend some time in counseling to get there.
Speaker 5: But what I knew about adoption was nothing. What I
Speaker 5: knew was what you saw in the Lifetime movies, which
Speaker 5: was really freaking scary, like, how would that ever happen?
Speaker 5: And I struggled a lot as we went into the
Speaker 5: process just to understand why somebody would pick us. Right,
Speaker 5: you have a lot of feelings that are kind of
Speaker 5: going through you as you go through infertility, that are
Speaker 5: kind of yuck, that are like, oh, this is never
Speaker 5: going to happen, and if you're not careful, you can
Speaker 5: carry that baggage into adoption. And then when I finally
Speaker 5: came to the conclusion that adoption was the path that
Speaker 5: was meant for us, and my husband and I sat
Speaker 5: down and talked about it a lot, then I was
Speaker 5: just overwhelmed with how much there was to learn and do,
Speaker 5: because there is a whole language in and of itself
Speaker 5: when it comes to adoption, and that can be really hard.
Speaker 3: And so just hearing you so vulnerably and beautifully, I
Speaker 3: just appreciate you sharing your story, but it's so apparent
Speaker 3: that all the complexities that play into a person's experiences
Speaker 3: and choices around this. I know we're talking about some
Speaker 3: of the costs incurred along the way, but there's also
Speaker 3: decision making and emotions and preconceived notions about either infertility
Speaker 3: or adoption. There's different ways that people come to choose adoption.
Speaker 3: For yourself, ten years, like, that's such a long amount
Speaker 3: of time before you ended up choosing this pathway. So
Speaker 3: I just want to acknowledge all those different layers and
Speaker 3: appreciate your willingness to share those different aspects. And I
Speaker 3: think finance is just being one of the layers but
Speaker 3: probably playing into some of the emotions of it. And
Speaker 3: you already described some of the hemorrhaging of finances that
Speaker 3: happened through the infertility process. But also curious what you
Speaker 3: noticed about the adoption process too, What were some of
Speaker 3: the costs incurred with that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I will tell you, at every step of the
Speaker 5: adoption process there is what felt like a big check
Speaker 5: to be written, and that to me was pretty daunting.
Speaker 5: We're lucky that we have great corporate jobs and do
Speaker 5: have some benefits as it relates to adoption there, but
Speaker 5: it doesn't make it any easier when you've got to
Speaker 5: front ten thousand dollars, twenty thousand dollars, fifty thousand dollars, right,
Speaker 5: depending upon which type of adoption you're pursuing, and it
Speaker 5: can be really scary.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 5: So, after we went through our infertility journey and we
Speaker 5: spent a good chuckum change and really kind of ended
Speaker 5: that journey without a baby, you worry that the same
Speaker 5: could be true of adoption.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 5: And we were in our mid thirties as we were
Speaker 5: kind of going through this process, and we were thinking
Speaker 5: about are we going to be physically able to care
Speaker 5: for a child as they come into our home, but
Speaker 5: also financially able to care for child when they come
Speaker 5: into our home, because we want to be able to
Speaker 5: provide them opportunities in life. And if you just break
Speaker 5: it down to brass tacks, if you spend a bunch
Speaker 5: of money going through the adoption process, it will limit
Speaker 5: your ability to be able to do things like college
Speaker 5: and things of that nature for them on the back end.
Speaker 5: So really being intentional with the finances and the kind
Speaker 5: of the expenses that were ahead of us and how
Speaker 5: we were going to one forecast that and then to
Speaker 5: really kind of meet those milestones and keep ourselves moving
Speaker 5: through the adoption process. It's really tricky to do. It's
Speaker 5: something I've had the great pleasure of helping over a
Speaker 5: thousand families do now in their adoption process, which is
Speaker 5: just blows my mind every single day. But there are
Speaker 5: a lot of nuances that really come to figuring that
Speaker 5: part out as you go through.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we're not even talking about the cost of
Speaker 3: raising a child, like all the school stuff and the activities,
Speaker 3: and the clothing and the food. Just to get to
Speaker 3: that stage of growing your family for some can be
Speaker 3: quite costly.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it really can be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And there are different costs associated with like different
Speaker 1: types of adoption. Right before I met you, I didn't
Speaker 1: realize there were types of different ways to do it.
Speaker 1: Could you go through some of those?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I'd be happy to. And honestly, when we
Speaker 5: started our adoption journey, I didn't know there were different
Speaker 5: ways either. I knew nothing about adoption. I paid an
Speaker 5: adoption attorney five hundred dollars an hour to sit down
Speaker 5: and answer my questions, and as Jen can attest, I
Speaker 5: have all the questions about.
Speaker 4: All the things.
Speaker 1: You are thorough, Amanda, and it is a trait is
Speaker 1: an asset.
Speaker 5: Thank you, that's very kind. But I spent a lot
Speaker 5: of money just asking all the questions and that was
Speaker 5: when I discovered that there were different types. So if
Speaker 5: you think about just on a spectrum, on the kind
Speaker 5: of the low end of the financial investments, you're going
Speaker 5: to have an embryo adoption, and that means that you
Speaker 5: are adopting an embryo from another family who is done
Speaker 5: forming their family and basically has typically leftover embryos from
Speaker 5: their IVF process, And that type of adoption is typically
Speaker 5: going to range in about the five to ten thousand
Speaker 5: dollars range, assuming that your medical insurance would pick up
Speaker 5: the cost of actually you carrying the child a term
Speaker 5: like a traditional pregnancy. Then if you kind of move
Speaker 5: up on the spectrum, you're going to have a self
Speaker 5: matching adoption, and that's going to range between ten thousand
Speaker 5: dollars and thirty thousand dollars from an actual like all
Speaker 5: in cost on adopting, and self matching adoption means that
Speaker 5: you are actually as the hopeful adoptive family matching with
Speaker 5: an expectant family. So someone that is considering placing their
Speaker 5: child for adoption on your own and you might be
Speaker 5: matching with them through word of mouth, you might be
Speaker 5: matching with them through a neighbor or a friend or
Speaker 5: someone in your community, or you might be matching with
Speaker 5: them through like a Google ad or a social media post.
Speaker 5: But in that type of adoption in the and that's
Speaker 5: really kind of where you draw the line in like
Speaker 5: private US adoption, Right, you're adopting in the United States,
Speaker 5: not in foster care, right, but you are really that
Speaker 5: is the most cost efficient way to adopt a baby
Speaker 5: in the US. Then you kind of move up the
Speaker 5: spectrum from there and really kind of get into the
Speaker 5: range of adoption consultants. And adoption consultants are going to
Speaker 5: be and that call it forty to sixty thousand dollars range.
Speaker 5: And an adoption consultant's job is to network you with
Speaker 5: many adoption agencies. So they're going to go out and
Speaker 5: help you find expectant parents to match with rather than
Speaker 5: you kind of doing that legwork yourself. But they're going
Speaker 5: to do that through working with maybe five to ten
Speaker 5: adoption agencies. And an adoption agency is actually going to
Speaker 5: be the most expensive on the spectrum, and their job
Speaker 5: is really to go out and find expectant parents to
Speaker 5: match with and to match hopeful adoptive families there. And
Speaker 5: those cost estimates these days are anywhere from the sixty
Speaker 5: to eighty thousand dollars range to adopt one child in
Speaker 5: the US, So there are a bunch of different types,
Speaker 5: and really it comes down to how much legwork are
Speaker 5: you willing to put into the overall process, and also
Speaker 5: what's legal in your state. I always tell people I'm
Speaker 5: not an attorney, so definitely consult your own attorney, an
Speaker 5: adoption specific attorney, that is. But there are some states
Speaker 5: that don't allow you to self match, so it's important
Speaker 5: that you know that before you even get started in
Speaker 5: the journey.
Speaker 3: Super helpful to have all of this outlined. Just to clarify, Amanda,
Speaker 3: are we primarily talking here about infant adoption, because I
Speaker 3: also know there's the whole foster to adopt situations of
Speaker 3: older children that's going to be a completely separate price point.
Speaker 3: But it sounds like maybe just infant adoption is what
Speaker 3: you're describing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that is a really good clarification that I should
Speaker 5: have started with. Yes, I'm primarily talking about infant adoption
Speaker 5: in the US and not foster care of any sort,
Speaker 5: or international adoption. So if you think about like the
Speaker 5: hierarchy or the different types of adoption, you would have
Speaker 5: international adoption, adopting from a different country, foster care, as
Speaker 5: well as private adoption. I'm specifically talking about private adoption
Speaker 5: in the US.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for differentiating that as somebody who's spent
Speaker 1: time working in the foster care system and thinking maybe
Speaker 1: I would like to adopt from foster care and being
Speaker 1: taught that you do not go into the foster care
Speaker 1: system looking to adopt. It is definitely great to be
Speaker 1: willing to adopt, but the first goal in foster care
Speaker 1: is reunification, and if you want to adopt, then there
Speaker 1: are other ways to adopt, especially infants, and there are
Speaker 1: ways to adopt straight from the foster care system, but
Speaker 1: they are older kids and that should be a specific desire.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm glad we clarified that.
Speaker 3: So when it comes to the specific types of adoption
Speaker 3: that you're describing, Amanda, what are some of the things
Speaker 3: that people might be spending money on if they're going
Speaker 3: with that kind of highest tier of working with an agency,
Speaker 3: potentially spending between forty to eighty thousand dollars. Where are
Speaker 3: you seeing that additional cost coming from, Like, is there
Speaker 3: waste of money happening? Why is it nearly double? And
Speaker 3: what can you tell us that, Like, probably the majority
Speaker 3: of our listeners don't know about that reality.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So the fundamentals of the adoption process are the
Speaker 5: same no matter which type of adoption that you're pursuing.
Speaker 5: A lot of it comes down to how much work
Speaker 5: you're putting into it and how much marketing and advertising
Speaker 5: dollars that are put behind it. So when you're working
Speaker 5: with an adoption agency, they are leveraging a social worker
Speaker 5: to actually do what I would call like the vetting
Speaker 5: for each party. They're making sure that the list of
Speaker 5: criteria that's important for the expectant family and the list
Speaker 5: of criteria that's important for the hopeful adoptive family match
Speaker 5: ahead of time. And so that is definitely something that
Speaker 5: from an investment perspective, that definitely happens and adds costs
Speaker 5: to it. In an agency model versus a self matching model,
Speaker 5: and a self matching model, you're doing that work yourself,
Speaker 5: though I always recommend that you have a counselor or
Speaker 5: someone along the side with you to really make sure
Speaker 5: that you're not just reacting in an emotional perspective there too.
Speaker 5: The other big cost difference that happens when you're working
Speaker 5: with an agency are all of the fees as it
Speaker 5: relates to marketing your family. And when it comes to
Speaker 5: marketing your family, everybody always goes ooh, I don't like
Speaker 5: that term when it comes to adoption, but it is
Speaker 5: the reality of what you're doing. You are telling your
Speaker 5: family story through an adoption profile, which in essence really
Speaker 5: is marketing. And agencies spend a lot of money and
Speaker 5: what I would call outbound marketing outreach right Google ads,
Speaker 5: Facebook ads, other support services where they're talking with local communities,
Speaker 5: with hospitals, trying to advertise their agency to get people
Speaker 5: to come and consider working with them when they're considering
Speaker 5: placing a child for adoption. And the reality is a
Speaker 5: portion of your budget whenever you're working with an adoption
Speaker 5: agency is to do that, and so they're using a
Speaker 5: portion of your budget to do that so that they
Speaker 5: can attract expectant families that are considering an adoption to
Speaker 5: work with them, so that there's somebody for you to
Speaker 5: match with, right, Whereas if you're self matching you're doing
Speaker 5: a lot of that on your own and typically through
Speaker 5: word of mouth most of the time. And so those
Speaker 5: two big buckets are really kind of the big cost
Speaker 5: difference that you will see. Now, some folks when they're
Speaker 5: self matching, they try to go through the kind of
Speaker 5: the support services bucket without really investing to provide maybe
Speaker 5: mental health services or health insurance services and things of
Speaker 5: that nature when they're self matching. But when I teach
Speaker 5: people how to self match, I actually advocate that you
Speaker 5: would have a really strong relationship with expectant families from
Speaker 5: the very beginning and give them the support that they
Speaker 5: need and deserve to really make peace with this decision.
Speaker 5: And so you have to be really careful if you
Speaker 5: set out into self matching and not budget for those
Speaker 5: costs upfront, because that could actually, in my opinion, really
Speaker 5: put your adoption at jeopardy because you want that expectant
Speaker 5: family to not feel coerced into this decision and to
Speaker 5: really feel at peace with this decision. And that is
Speaker 5: another big investment that adoption agencies do make in the
Speaker 5: relationships with expectant families as well.
Speaker 3: Meaning financial support for the expectant family through the pregnancy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so there'd be financial support. Typically, when it comes
Speaker 5: to supporting the expectant family, the state law dictates what
Speaker 5: you're allowed to do or not allowed to do. That's
Speaker 5: the first and foremost. Some states don't allow any sort
Speaker 5: of support. In some states capited like five thousand dollars
Speaker 5: or ten thousand dollars of support, But typically that support
Speaker 5: will look like financial assistance, meaning does she have a
Speaker 5: roof over her head, does she have gas in her
Speaker 5: car to get to her job, to get to doctor's appointments,
Speaker 5: and does she have food in her belly to take
Speaker 5: care of her and the baby. Then you're also going
Speaker 5: to see other support services like making sure that she
Speaker 5: has health insurance to cover the pregnancy cost and the
Speaker 5: baby's cost it delivery. And then you're also going to
Speaker 5: see services like maybe coaching or education opportunities to really
Speaker 5: give her a path forward after babies born, so that
Speaker 5: she has kind of a plan for her life as well.
Speaker 5: And so those are the typical support services that you
Speaker 5: would see for expectant families that I think are really
Speaker 5: critical to continue to provide even when you self match
Speaker 5: as well.
Speaker 1: Looking at the self matching area, same question, what are
Speaker 1: the things people waste money on. What are the things
Speaker 1: that are really worth spending money on.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So I'd say the thing that a lot of
Speaker 5: people waste money on is trying to go it alone
Speaker 5: when it comes to advertising dollars. I have people litt'll
Speaker 5: show on my DMS all the time. They're like, I've
Speaker 5: spent one thousand dollars on Facebook ads and nobody is
Speaker 5: reaching out to me. Or I've spent a bunch of
Speaker 5: money building a website and nobody is going to finding
Speaker 5: my website on the internet. So I would say that
Speaker 5: the majority of the time, whenever people reach out to
Speaker 5: me and or quote unquote wasting money on self matching,
Speaker 5: it has to do with not understanding how to create
Speaker 5: and share your profile materials so that people can actually
Speaker 5: find you, because there really is kind of an art
Speaker 5: in a science and creating and sharing your profile so
Speaker 5: that in an efficient way, so that you can really
Speaker 5: be mindful of how much you're spending.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So common is it to self match versus agency?
Speaker 5: It is becoming more common. Unfortunately, there's not good statistics
Speaker 5: to say this percent versus that percent, but it is
Speaker 5: definitely becoming more common these days just because of the
Speaker 5: rising cost of just inflation in general, right, but because
Speaker 5: of the rising cost of agency adoptions, it is becoming
Speaker 5: something that on a very regular basis, my clients are
Speaker 5: telling me, like, my only option is to borrow from
Speaker 5: my retirement or to put a second mortgage on my
Speaker 5: home and things of that nature to form my family.
Speaker 5: And that's something that people don't want to do. And
Speaker 5: in our own journey, we chose to borrow from my retirement,
Speaker 5: and I will tell you I caution all of my
Speaker 5: clients against that because it put unnecessary stress on our
Speaker 5: adoption journey. Whenever I first met Jen, I was like, goodness,
Speaker 5: if I had only known you then, But it took us.
Speaker 5: I mean, listen, I wouldn't trade my child for anything
Speaker 5: in the world, but it took us years to get
Speaker 5: out of that debt from our initial adoption journey, even
Speaker 5: with an adoption tax credit from the federal government to help.
Speaker 5: And in my case, since I borrowed it from my retirement,
Speaker 5: that meant I had to stay at my job because
Speaker 5: if I left, then I had to pay that money
Speaker 5: within forty eight hours back to my retirement fund. And boy,
Speaker 5: that was a scary thing that probably also had an
Speaker 5: impact on my happiness with my job too, unbanknownst to them,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I do know.
Speaker 3: So adoption is a part of there's adoption stories within
Speaker 3: my family and friends. And similar to Jen, I've worked
Speaker 3: in the foster care space and social work space, so
Speaker 3: I'm familiar with some of what you're saying. But honestly,
Speaker 3: self matching is still a newer concept. I know of
Speaker 3: a couple of friends who that was their story, but
Speaker 3: it almost felt to me as an observer, like the
Speaker 3: stars aligned, like that couldn't be many people's stories. Excited
Speaker 3: to hear you saying this is possible, I'm curious what
Speaker 3: you're seeing just regarding timeline for people. So, you know,
Speaker 3: if an agency going with an agency means they're kind
Speaker 3: of doing some of the heavy lifting work. Part of
Speaker 3: me would assume that means you could have a placement sooner,
Speaker 3: but I could be wrong. What are you seeing with
Speaker 3: time frame from start to adoption with self matching?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so most agencies will tell you that their time
Speaker 5: frame is two to three years. You will hear some
Speaker 5: agencies occasionally say a year I'm going. I always ask
Speaker 5: my clients and like, ask for real numbers, ask for
Speaker 5: people that you know where clients for past just like
Speaker 5: go interview them and talk to them. It's really important. Actually,
Speaker 5: most of my clients do self match, and ninety five
Speaker 5: percent of them self match in a year. And it
Speaker 5: began really out as a star's aligned mentality. That was
Speaker 5: my perception too, whenever we were going through our adoption journey.
Speaker 5: It was one of the options that the attorney kind
Speaker 5: of laid out and I looked at him and said,
Speaker 5: I don't know anybody's looking to place their child for adoption.
Speaker 5: And I just immediately dismissed that right and moved into
Speaker 5: the adoption agency route, quite honestly, because it felt like
Speaker 5: the easier path and I was tired from infertility and
Speaker 5: I just wanted a baby. But these days, through social media,
Speaker 5: it really is changing the landscape of adoption in total,
Speaker 5: because you just need one video to hit in the
Speaker 5: right vein of content for more people to see that
Speaker 5: you're hoping to adopt, and those connections really do expand
Speaker 5: exponentially from there. And so the vast majority of my
Speaker 5: clients that are self matching in a year are matching
Speaker 5: through social media, and it is through organic outrage on
Speaker 5: social media. They're sharing it everywhere they possibly can. They're
Speaker 5: asking their friends and family to share it, and then
Speaker 5: it's just tapping into the land in front of the
Speaker 5: right person. But on the same hand, I've also had
Speaker 5: people random match in what I call in real life
Speaker 5: as well, through handing out a business card to their
Speaker 5: dentist or leaving a flyer on a laundromatic bulletin board.
Speaker 5: So some of the old school, like in person ways
Speaker 5: are definitely still viable too.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 3: I mean it's how we're growing our family when it
Speaker 3: comes to finding partners. That's right through the internet through
Speaker 3: social media, So why not am growing your family?
Speaker 1: I didn't know where you were going with that. I
Speaker 1: was like what, Yeah, I.
Speaker 5: Was like, we have an announcement.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like what.
Speaker 1: That's so true with through social media and chance encounters.
Speaker 1: So yeah, but it is still a bizarre thing to
Speaker 1: think about, a bizarre it's just still so foreign in
Speaker 1: the way we traditionally think of adoption. So that ten
Speaker 1: to thirty thousand cost for self matching, what does that include?
Speaker 1: What are the things that are worth paying money for?
Speaker 1: If the things you've seen best work for marketing are organic,
Speaker 1: which means they don't cost money, Yeah, what is something
Speaker 1: we should really be spending money on if we're looking
Speaker 1: at this.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so there are three buckets whenever you're self matching
Speaker 5: your adoption that you're really going to kind of divide
Speaker 5: your funds between. The first bucket is going to be
Speaker 5: what I call it and call all things legal. So
Speaker 5: you're going to have to have a home study, which
Speaker 5: means a social worker is going to approve you to
Speaker 5: adopt in your state. And then you're going to have
Speaker 5: to have an attorney that's going to do all of
Speaker 5: the paperwork and they're going to be the ones that
Speaker 5: are going to be advising you as you meet with
Speaker 5: expectant families and what you're allowed to say when you're
Speaker 5: not allowed to say, how you can support them, how
Speaker 5: you can't support them, things of that nature. So those
Speaker 5: are the two things that you want to make sure
Speaker 5: you've got lined up and buttoned up. The next is
Speaker 5: your profile. I do believe that you have to create
Speaker 5: a high quality adoption profile, specifically one that makes an
Speaker 5: emotional connection with expectant families. You want to make it
Speaker 5: really easy for them to get to know you, right.
Speaker 5: You don't want to just to share everything about your life,
Speaker 5: but you also don't want to share nothing about your life, right,
Speaker 5: there's a really fine line, and there's a really specific
Speaker 5: way that you want to share about your family. And
Speaker 5: the third bucket that we talked about earlier are those
Speaker 5: support services for your expected family. You want to make
Speaker 5: sure that you are supporting them and really creating a
Speaker 5: bond that's going to last a lifetime. That's really important.
Speaker 5: But if you're focusing on those specific areas in your
Speaker 5: self matching journey and making the right investments, that's how
Speaker 5: ultimately you're going to be the most wise with your
Speaker 5: finances and with your time throughout the journey.
Speaker 3: Yeah, super helpful to break it down into those buckets.
Speaker 3: I know from the people who I'm close to have
Speaker 3: gone through the adoption process, that experience of creating their
Speaker 3: profile and answering some of these really vulnerable questions it
Speaker 3: did feel, as they described, quite prying, but at the
Speaker 3: same time, every single one of them said that they
Speaker 3: were so thankful for that specific aspect of their adoption journey.
Speaker 3: What they learned about themselves, what they learned about their spouses,
Speaker 3: what they learned that they want to be doing even now,
Speaker 3: like there's there's so much insight that I think there
Speaker 3: was a part of me that was like, can we
Speaker 3: make all also biological parents go through this process that
Speaker 3: I think it's just really important. But yeah, it's helpful
Speaker 3: to know that each one of those things is going
Speaker 3: to take time and cost money. It's beautiful to hear
Speaker 3: that there are options that are kind of in the middle,
Speaker 3: that the self matching is somewhere between carrying an embryo
Speaker 3: of somebody else's to agency adoption. And yet I hear
Speaker 3: ten to thirty thousand dollars and that feels in some
Speaker 3: ways cost prohibitive to me. I could plan for that,
Speaker 3: there could be it would take years. But for others
Speaker 3: who might be feeling similarly, do you know of financial
Speaker 3: assistance options available to family who might need them, who
Speaker 3: want to adopt, have all of these things that they
Speaker 3: want to do, they'd be a great family, But even
Speaker 3: ten to thirty thousand dollars isn't something they'd be able
Speaker 3: to spend in the course of a few years.
Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure. So the first thing is that there
Speaker 5: is a federal adoption tax grant. I'm equally not an
Speaker 5: accountant as I'm not a lawyer, but neither are we.
Speaker 5: But it is something that is available. In years past,
Speaker 5: it's been around a twelve thousand dollars credit, and so
Speaker 5: that is something to keep in mind as well as
Speaker 5: you plan. But yes, there are tons and tons and
Speaker 5: tons of grants out there. As a matter of fact,
Speaker 5: I have a grant guide that has three hundred and
Speaker 5: fifty thousand dollars worth of adoption specific grants that have
Speaker 5: identified in the US. So there are tons of grants
Speaker 5: out there, and it's just about you know, planning, as
Speaker 5: you said, right, And so one of the things that
Speaker 5: I do with my clients is I set down and
Speaker 5: help them forecast, like, here are all of the expenses
Speaker 5: that you could expect. Right, are some common ones that
Speaker 5: you're immediately going to know, like you know, I've got
Speaker 5: my home steady, or I've got an attorney, But there's
Speaker 5: also going to be some hidden things like how are
Speaker 5: you going to be planning from eternity leave? Right? You're
Speaker 5: going to have maybe some travel expenses and things of
Speaker 5: that nature that you need to prepare for. So you
Speaker 5: want to walk through and kind of figure all of
Speaker 5: that out. And then I coach my clients to think through, Okay,
Speaker 5: what are the buckets that you want now? That you
Speaker 5: I kind of call it your b hag, your big
Speaker 5: hairy number right staring you in your face. How are
Speaker 5: you going to go like dissect that number? And to me,
Speaker 5: you dissect that number through either the tax credit or
Speaker 5: through grants or through fundraisers, right, or maybe picking up
Speaker 5: an appropriate side hustle that doesn't require you to invest
Speaker 5: additional money, right, So being really financially sound about it.
Speaker 5: But there are specific ways that you can really attack
Speaker 5: that number and to break it down and to make
Speaker 5: it more digestible. And it's also important to remember that
Speaker 5: you don't have to pay for everything at the same time.
Speaker 5: So planning out, Okay, we're going to have our first expense,
Speaker 5: it's going to be a home study and it's going
Speaker 5: to cost about this much and then saving up, but
Speaker 5: you want to be careful not to make an investment
Speaker 5: in your home study right away while you're trying to
Speaker 5: save the funds on their rest, because those home studies
Speaker 5: are only good for a year, and so you want
Speaker 5: to you know, kind of have your plan outlined and say, okay, now,
Speaker 5: based upon my financial forecast of what I expect this
Speaker 5: to cost and when I'm going to meet those goals,
Speaker 5: and this is when it makes the most sense for
Speaker 5: us to keep you know, kind of start the process.
Speaker 5: So you're right, Jil, it takes intentional planning as you
Speaker 5: go through this process.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's so helpful.
Speaker 1: There's so much in it. And I mean, I will
Speaker 1: just plug you and what you do right now because
Speaker 1: you you have actually made your services accessible too. Like
Speaker 1: you yes, you work one on one with clients, but
Speaker 1: you also have like a course where people can just
Speaker 1: go through. And this is great for self matching people
Speaker 1: that you can tell them how to create a profile,
Speaker 1: because an agency will just give you like a questionnaire,
Speaker 1: but nobody's really giving you a questionnaire if you're self
Speaker 1: matching and you have i mean, how you created in
Speaker 1: judged up your profile. Like as an actual marketing professional.
Speaker 1: She didn't tell y'all that this is what she does
Speaker 1: for Corporate America.
Speaker 4: She markets.
Speaker 1: She's the person getting you to buy these things that
Speaker 1: you don't want to buy. I'm just kidding, but like
Speaker 1: you know, the things that people want to hear to
Speaker 1: make them interested in something. Tell people how to do
Speaker 1: that with adoption profiles, which I think it just blows
Speaker 1: my mind when I think about what you do and
Speaker 1: so I wanted to just plug you because I think
Speaker 1: you're underselling yourself. Oh thank you. So yeah, Just how
Speaker 1: many families could grow if we started looking at adoption
Speaker 1: in a different way and instead of like saying like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm tapped out from the cost of infertility, or I'm
Speaker 1: you know, trying to I want to adopt. I don't
Speaker 1: want to have my own children, but the cost is
Speaker 1: so prohibitive. Looking at this stuff in a new way,
Speaker 1: I hope as like eye opening for people.
Speaker 5: Oh thank you. Yeah, as you mentioned, Jen, I do
Speaker 5: this because it fills my heart, not to fill my
Speaker 5: bank accountant and just to be really transparent, that is
Speaker 5: not my goal with this work. I wish I had
Speaker 5: had someone to teach me as I went through the process.
Speaker 5: It was unnecessarily hard, and I didn't know anybody other
Speaker 5: than that attorney that I could pay five hundred bucks
Speaker 5: an hour to go ask questions to. I do work
Speaker 5: in corporate America. I do have a corporate day job.
Speaker 5: But this is the work that fills my heart. And
Speaker 5: it's really amazing to be able to say I've helped
Speaker 5: a thousand families now be formed through adoption like that
Speaker 5: literally makes tears come to my eyes every time I
Speaker 5: say it, and so and my lifetime goal is ten
Speaker 5: thousand families like I want to just make adoption easier
Speaker 5: and more affordable for everybody, because it doesn't have to
Speaker 5: be hard.
Speaker 6: That is so beautiful, Amanda.
Speaker 3: Thanks for sharing your story and then turning around to
Speaker 3: help others. Speaking of things that fill our hearts and
Speaker 3: not our bank accounts.
Speaker 1: Are so beautiful. We literally we do it for the love,
Speaker 1: for the joy.
Speaker 4: The bill of the week.
Speaker 7: That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 7: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 7: is Williams. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
Speaker 7: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 7: that bill anymore. Duck bills, Buffalo bills, bill clion.
Speaker 2: This is the bill of the.
Speaker 1: Week, Amanda. Every week we ask our listeners and or
Speaker 1: our guests to share with us their bill for the week,
Speaker 1: the bill that's been on your mind. And you tried
Speaker 1: to share it with us at the top of the
Speaker 1: interview before we start recording, and yet you stock to
Speaker 1: bill of the week, and I yelled at you, yes,
Speaker 1: And so now that we've both yelled at you, would
Speaker 1: you share with us your bill.
Speaker 5: I would be happy to share my bill. I'm so
Speaker 5: excited to do this, by the way, because every week
Speaker 5: when I listen, I'm like, what's your bill going to be?
Speaker 5: So I'm going to pull a double whammy here under
Speaker 5: one name. Yes, I have two kids, Catherine and Benjamin,
Speaker 5: but their activity bill that is my most favorite bill.
Speaker 5: And I know that sounds really silly and cheesy, but
Speaker 5: seeing their little personalities come out in cheer in baseball,
Speaker 5: that is the highlight of my week every week. So
Speaker 5: it has to be my bill of the week.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I underestimated how fun it would be to
Speaker 1: put my child into activities. I we just started Kai
Speaker 1: in soccer and seeing him and this might be bad,
Speaker 1: like bad mom juju, but like comparing him to the
Speaker 1: other kids.
Speaker 8: And not in the hot We're not quite to the
Speaker 8: vulnerability round, but here we are.
Speaker 1: I'm honesty, yeah, and being like, oh he's better than
Speaker 1: that kid, or be like, oh he's not getting a
Speaker 1: sports scholarship. Good thing we learned this early. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so fun for me.
Speaker 5: It's you know, it's a lot of fun. I'll share.
Speaker 5: I'm a band nerd at heart. I grew up in
Speaker 5: a band. That's how I paid for my way through
Speaker 5: college actually as well. And so the fact that my
Speaker 5: daughter loves cheer and bows and all things sparkles. It's
Speaker 5: really stretching for me as a mom. It's really hard,
Speaker 5: but she just lights up when she does it, and
Speaker 5: it just it makes my heart happy every week to
Speaker 5: sit in that gym for three hours a week to
Speaker 5: watch her pursue the thing that she loves. So in
Speaker 5: the same thing with my son. The other day, he
Speaker 5: hit a home run and he was so excited and
Speaker 5: he was like, I stopped running to first base to
Speaker 5: turn to the stands.
Speaker 1: Mama, did it I hit a home run? I was like,
Speaker 1: it's okay, run, brother.
Speaker 4: Run, you actually got to get the home run. You
Speaker 4: actually have to run.
Speaker 3: Oh, those are the moments that seem like they make it.
Speaker 6: All worth it.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't have kids, but that does
Speaker 4: sound like a whole moment.
Speaker 1: It does, for a second, makeup for the fact that
Speaker 1: I haven't had a full night sleep in six months.
Speaker 1: For sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there we want a small second. What a great bill, Amanda.
Speaker 3: It sounds I mean, I feel like what you've described
Speaker 3: I'd be willing to pay for your kids cheer in
Speaker 3: baseball too.
Speaker 4: That'd be a bill I would not pay.
Speaker 3: If you all listening have a bill you want to share.
Speaker 6: If it's about.
Speaker 3: Your kid being named bill, your kid's coach being a bill,
Speaker 3: you its teacher being a bill, you're a bill, or
Speaker 3: anything else, It's totally fine bills.
Speaker 6: You don't mind.
Speaker 1: She's a bill where all bills call.
Speaker 3: Us visit trugal friendspodcast dot com, slash bill, leave us
Speaker 3: your bill. And now it's time for the lightning round.
Speaker 1: The life round, pew pew. And now in the vulnerability
Speaker 1: part of the show, we have a hard hitting question which.
Speaker 4: Is a little bit more lighthearted.
Speaker 1: Lighthearted, Yeah, I didn't see it, did you? Is this
Speaker 1: yours Jill? Or is this a Goldie write?
Speaker 3: Okay, unless everyone didn't, then I had nothing to do
Speaker 3: with it.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: It's all Jill.
Speaker 1: If you hate it, it's Jill. If you love it,
Speaker 1: it's Jill. If you could be adapted into any fictional
Speaker 1: TV family, whose family would it be? This is such
Speaker 1: an interesting question, and I'm glad it's TV. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess you could say movie if you're a movie person.
Speaker 1: I'm not a movie person, so TV is definitely for.
Speaker 3: Me and fictional, Like, you can't choose the Kardashians.
Speaker 8: Gosh, although that might be are real, it's still my
Speaker 8: own fictional, So that cuts out the Jersey Shore for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so back to the drawing board, Amanda, you can
Speaker 1: go first, since you are our guest.
Speaker 5: I would have to choose This is Us because I
Speaker 5: would say, there are an adoption literate family, and I
Speaker 5: definitely relate to each one of the characters in their
Speaker 5: own special way, so I feel like it'd be a
Speaker 5: good fit in that family.
Speaker 6: So This is Us. That's awesome, that is beautiful.
Speaker 1: I never watched that series because I don't like to cry,
Speaker 1: and I know that I would cry every week. So
Speaker 1: that's all everybody anybody like says about that show is like,
Speaker 1: Oh I watched This is Us. I cried every single episode.
Speaker 6: Ye.
Speaker 5: It's definitely a tissue box an episode type of show, right.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have enough emotions. I cry a
Speaker 1: lot during movies, and that's probably why I don't watch
Speaker 1: a lot. So I just couldn't expend that on a
Speaker 1: show every week for how many seasons?
Speaker 4: Did they have?
Speaker 1: Four or five seasons?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a while that's a long.
Speaker 6: Commitment of tears.
Speaker 5: It was a good cathartic way to process stress from
Speaker 5: the day, right.
Speaker 6: That's so true.
Speaker 1: If you need to cry, well done, nobody will ask series. Yeah, yeah, Jill,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you go next, since you wrote it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna go with April and Andy from Parks
Speaker 3: and Rack. They are an adoption, ill literate family. But
Speaker 3: I think that the ones who never intended to have
Speaker 3: kids feel themselves like ill fit parents would just be
Speaker 3: the best parent. And from what I've seen, you know,
Speaker 3: the ones who are just like never not for me.
Speaker 3: Just watching them kind of like stumble through parenthood would
Speaker 3: be really enjoyable for me. And I think that they
Speaker 3: still would do a really good job. I think I'd
Speaker 3: get to eat all the hot dogs that i'd want
Speaker 3: to eat.
Speaker 4: You love that, and we'd.
Speaker 1: Have a black I would love that, what about you?
Speaker 6: Jen?
Speaker 1: So I tried to think of something better, but the
Speaker 1: first family that came into my mind the roy family
Speaker 1: from Succession. Oh so bad, so bad. It is probably
Speaker 1: the worst family ever depicted in a TV series, bar none.
Speaker 1: I don't know of a worse family.
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 8: So worried worried I'm gonna put you on to watch
Speaker 8: lest you shouldn't want that.
Speaker 3: No one should want that. That should be like the
Speaker 3: mistake that happens to you.
Speaker 1: I don't actually want it. It's just the first family
Speaker 1: that came into my head and then they wouldn't leave.
Speaker 1: And that's kind of how they are, right it.
Speaker 3: Is, And what do you think you would gain from
Speaker 3: that experience of family life.
Speaker 1: I would probably sit back and watch and I resonate
Speaker 1: a lot with cousin Greg. I would maybe try to
Speaker 1: be cousin Greg in the fan as a sibling. I
Speaker 1: just think him as a character was so well done.
Speaker 3: Eric and I are currently watching the show, and honest
Speaker 3: to goodness, I had to take a pause the other
Speaker 3: night from it because I was like, yeah, I don't
Speaker 3: know how much I want to be entertained by the
Speaker 3: depiction of very horrible human being.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know how much I want to engage
Speaker 4: in that. And then to hear you being like, I'll
Speaker 4: be part of that family.
Speaker 1: They are the worst. And I watched every episode of
Speaker 1: Game of Thrones and has the direct I've seen them all,
Speaker 1: and I think the roy family is worse, just bar none.
Speaker 4: You know what.
Speaker 3: You would be the shining star in that family though,
Speaker 3: Like you would be talk to your character decision making.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so maybe that's on.
Speaker 3: I might be a product of my upbringing with yourself
Speaker 3: in an environment where you look, yeah, like the greatest.
Speaker 5: It would be amazingly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just walk in.
Speaker 5: You're not doing that, No, it would be awesome.
Speaker 1: I think I would just want to be a fly
Speaker 1: on the wall. I would be like the oldest son
Speaker 1: and just be like but not like delusional, And that
Speaker 1: is what I think I would. I just have a
Speaker 1: bag of popcorn.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 3: Wow, thanks, I mean, I'm so sorry engaging in that
Speaker 3: question with us for appusing our vulnerability around. Can you
Speaker 3: tell all of us where we can get more of
Speaker 3: you if people want to receive additional information, if this
Speaker 3: has sparked curiosity, or you are the breath of fresh
Speaker 3: air that they have already been searching for for months,
Speaker 3: where can they find you?
Speaker 5: Absolutely? Thank you. You can find me on Instagram under
Speaker 5: the handle my adoption Coach, or you can find me
Speaker 5: on YouTube as well. And then if you are considering
Speaker 5: adoption and just trying to figure out which type of
Speaker 5: adoptions right for you, I have a quiz. You can
Speaker 5: check out over on my Adoption Coach dot com backslash
Speaker 5: quiz and you can take a few questions and get
Speaker 5: pointed in the right direction to get you started.
Speaker 6: Lovely. Thank you so so much.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Amanda. I highly recommend if you
Speaker 1: are just considering growing your family in the direction of adoption,
Speaker 1: check out my adoption Coach dot com and yeah, Amanda
Speaker 1: will be the most helpful resource that you'll find out there.
Speaker 5: Thank you guys for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: What did you think, Jill, Because I know you didn't
Speaker 1: know Amanda going into this one.
Speaker 3: I didn't What a beautiful human being. I mean, she
Speaker 3: belongs in the this is Us family, So yes, she's stunning. Also,
Speaker 3: just so awesome to hear her background and story, what
Speaker 3: that has been like for her, and just being able
Speaker 3: to connect on that level. But then I always love
Speaker 3: it when we find and meet people who have then
Speaker 3: turned around and been able to make meaning out of
Speaker 3: their story and help others, and yeah, just be a
Speaker 3: support and a resource in her. Having done both is incredible.
Speaker 3: I feel as though I learned a lot about adoption,
Speaker 3: even coming from like the background that I've come from.
Speaker 3: The growing space of matching yourself is something I was
Speaker 3: not as aware of until Amanda pointed all of this
Speaker 3: out and informed us on it, and then just the
Speaker 3: resource that she is. I can think of people, a
Speaker 3: handful of people already that just personally I'm going to
Speaker 3: want to connect them to Amanda. So personally, I'm thrilled
Speaker 3: we did this episode.
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1: I hope that we taught people some stuff about adoption.
Speaker 1: I know, I've known Amanda for three years and I
Speaker 1: learn from her every time. And gosh, she said the
Speaker 1: thing about adopting an embryo. She had never talked about that.
Speaker 1: I had no idea you could do that. So like,
Speaker 1: I learned something from her all the time, and so
Speaker 1: I know that she has so much more to share.
Speaker 1: So definitely check out her website if you're interested in
Speaker 1: my adoption Coach dot com. She also is a podcast
Speaker 1: that she didn't plug, so you can search my Adoption
Speaker 1: Coach where you're listening to this and you can listen
Speaker 1: to her show as well. And if you didn't know,
Speaker 1: we also have some workbooks if you're looking to lower
Speaker 1: your expenses in order to do something like adopt or
Speaker 1: any finance we have not just the friend letter that
Speaker 1: comes to you free three times a week, and not
Speaker 1: just the podcast that comes free twice a week. We
Speaker 1: also have some free workbooks challenges stuff like that. We
Speaker 1: have the seven Day No Spend Challenge Guide and then
Speaker 1: the upgraded for pay thirty Day No Spend Challenge Workbook.
Speaker 1: And we got this very sweet review on that workbook
Speaker 1: from Christina. She says, so much information that I know
Speaker 1: will help me on my journey. I'm up early to
Speaker 1: get started on my three month budget audit or her
Speaker 1: ninety day transaction history. I started the three day makeover
Speaker 1: last night, looking forward to learn a new mindset about finances.
Speaker 1: I heard your podcast, it was hooked. Thank you for
Speaker 1: sharing your knowledge amazing.
Speaker 3: So glad that that was useful and beneficial to you, Christina,
Speaker 3: and for sharing your feedback, and thank you all for
Speaker 3: listening again. If you want freebies, tips, values based spending
Speaker 3: hacks sent to your inbox for free three times a week,
Speaker 3: head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash friend letter
Speaker 3: to get all them goodies.
Speaker 6: And if you're.
Speaker 3: Already getting them goodies, tell your friends.
Speaker 6: About those goodies.
Speaker 3: Get more free goodies through your referral program.
Speaker 4: Is so much.
Speaker 3: I know you're like, that's too much goodness, and there
Speaker 3: is no such thing as too much.
Speaker 1: How do you make money? How do you support your families?
Speaker 1: And you know that's a great question. We'll talk about
Speaker 1: that late. We should probably have that conversation.
Speaker 4: But the way, the goodies just get the friend letter.
Speaker 1: Until we do, we'll see you next time. Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 3: Okay, Jen the roy Family, right, it's just coming.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was coming.
Speaker 4: I mean, Corravas is behind us. We've got bigger fish
Speaker 4: to fry.
Speaker 1: So what I wanted to say was, Okay, so it's
Speaker 1: not really a family, but like the quote unquote family
Speaker 1: from the good place, Yes, eleanor Cheaty, the guy that's
Speaker 1: into the Jacksonville Jaguars, you know, like that is the
Speaker 1: crew I would really join if I had the choice,
Speaker 1: or the family from only murders in the building, you know,
Speaker 1: little Steve Martin, little Selena Gomez, Martin Shore. You know,
Speaker 1: they're not really family either, And so I think, I
Speaker 1: don't know what this says about me that I want
Speaker 1: to join families that aren't like actual families. I prefer
Speaker 1: like friend families.
Speaker 3: I mean listen. I prefer a family who has actively
Speaker 3: said they don't want children. I'm like, I'm gonna be
Speaker 3: your child.
Speaker 1: I know we haven't. Yeah, have dissected that one. I
Speaker 1: prefer parents who have actively said they don't want a child.
Speaker 1: We both have things to work out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But instead you went with a.
Speaker 1: Family that at least has four children. They were wanted, yeah,
Speaker 1: and they were immediately disliked.
Speaker 4: Actually cared for, at least.
Speaker 1: For sure financially cared for. Yes, yes, we all know.
Speaker 1: I love money. You know checks out. So there we
Speaker 1: you know, we're dissecting this. We're finding out a little
Speaker 1: bit more. I actually did not think about it that deeply.
Speaker 3: When I said it, I kind of feel better about that,
Speaker 3: but then at the same time, it's like, this is
Speaker 3: my subconscious answer, and then it brings me back to horror.
Speaker 1: Okay, so the roy family was my first thought, and
Speaker 1: then I immediately was like, okay, what are other families.
Speaker 1: That's a horrible answer. And then I was like, what
Speaker 1: about the righteous Gemstones? And I was like absolutely not
Speaker 1: no that, I mean that would be bad. I would
Speaker 1: be such an uncomfortable thing.
Speaker 3: I think anyone would choose us like you would be
Speaker 3: Do you think anyone would be like.
Speaker 1: To be their parents?
Speaker 3: Frugal friends as a fictional option, Jen and Jill, we
Speaker 3: teach you about money.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'll let you. I don't know.
Speaker 1: We're good for a good time, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could parent with anybody but my
Speaker 1: actual spouse.
Speaker 4: It's don't worry, Jenn, It's not actually happening. I know.
Speaker 1: I was just I mean, if the world came to
Speaker 1: an end and somebody gave us a baby and it
Speaker 1: was just the two of us.
Speaker 4: We need to, we need to.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I don't want another baby, and so I don't
Speaker 1: think I think I would just give it to you
Speaker 1: and be like, you haven't done this before? Here you
Speaker 1: go have fun. Yeah, I would just get I would
Speaker 1: actually just give it.
Speaker 4: To you, and good choice.
Speaker 1: I would find another way to survive. Okay, So love you,
Speaker 1: see you later.
Speaker 4: Love you too,