Speaker 1: I leave, then I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and give us time and a Turnino and Gay.
Speaker 2: We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 3: You want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared or was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?
Speaker 3: Ride with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need
Speaker 3: a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: This is Karen Kilgariff. We are in Burbank, California.
Speaker 3: Burbank, California, the home of California. And Jay Leno. We've
Speaker 3: talked about that before. I hate to repeat myself, but.
Speaker 1: It's good to remind people about Jay because they'll forget.
Speaker 3: A lot of people forgot about Jay. Turning right, We
Speaker 3: have a guest this time?
Speaker 1: Yes we do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, last time we did. This time we do.
Speaker 1: And I think because it's been so long, we got
Speaker 1: up to a rocky guest. Start right, Shall I tell
Speaker 1: that story briefly?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I drove to the edge of the country. Yes
Speaker 1: to go start this podcast and then Right as I
Speaker 1: was turning on Chris's street, he texted me and said,
Speaker 1: did you remember to bring the Zoom recorder, which is
Speaker 1: the only thing that makes this podcast possible. Thank you Zoom,
Speaker 1: one of our sponsors.
Speaker 3: Yes, of course, they give us a lot every episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I forgot it. Had to drive back home.
Speaker 1: Chris picked up our guests, brought our guests to our home. Yep,
Speaker 1: and uh we had to start all over again on
Speaker 1: this fine Memorial Day weekend.
Speaker 3: I'm sure it's for a reason or people use that
Speaker 3: phrase when they want to annoy me.
Speaker 1: No, I can feel it. I can feel the reason.
Speaker 1: The Lord is with us in this journey.
Speaker 3: When you put it out in the universe, you get
Speaker 3: it back in the unit in your death.
Speaker 1: Our guest today is Patrick Kean.
Speaker 2: Patrick Kean, Yes, thanks for having me, guys, thank you,
Speaker 2: friend of.
Speaker 3: The show in the back seat the whole time, pretending
Speaker 3: it wasn't there. Have you heard any laughing? You probably
Speaker 3: thought my Honda was haunted.
Speaker 1: But you probably didn't hear laughing. No, no chances are
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 3: I did hear him last?
Speaker 4: Well, it's just like las five different cities, you know,
Speaker 4: like New York's five boroughs LA's five cities. So to
Speaker 4: get around this town and to forget something or whatever,
Speaker 4: it's a day changer.
Speaker 1: You can heartbreaking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, only plan to do one thing per day. I
Speaker 3: like when people visit here and they're like, well, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna go to the airport, I'm gonna pick up my friend.
Speaker 3: Then I'm gonna watch it taping and the prices right,
Speaker 3: and then after that we're gonna hit the beach, you know,
Speaker 3: once the sun is at its midday peak.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh yeah, doing all that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you're doing.
Speaker 1: None of that.
Speaker 3: You're doing one of that.
Speaker 2: It's uh yeah, it's too it's too spread out.
Speaker 4: Uber has changed. I think La more than any other city.
Speaker 4: I really think it's it's just made it a different place.
Speaker 1: Well because you can go drink all you want now,
Speaker 1: yeah and get home safely.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's mainly changed things for alcoholics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well the most important group.
Speaker 3: I mean, they are the majority.
Speaker 4: I would say it's funny when cab drivers get upset
Speaker 4: because it's like, you know, the people take over. We
Speaker 4: weren't taking cabs, so it's not like we took any
Speaker 4: business away, you know, we just there's just new business
Speaker 4: now created.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because cabs were so shitty. Yeah, it was such
Speaker 1: a bad experience. Every time I'm glad they got their
Speaker 1: business taken away, I'll say it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, it was a poor business.
Speaker 4: I mean always they always said, oh my credit No
Speaker 4: I don't take credit cards.
Speaker 2: Really, I see the machine right sticking out up there.
Speaker 1: It was always for their convenience. Yeah, but it's a
Speaker 1: new era.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were always making up their own rules. They
Speaker 3: really had a lot of tude on most of the
Speaker 3: cab drivers I dealt with.
Speaker 1: Oh that was cologne that you were smiling. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it stinks just as bad.
Speaker 4: T U d e Colonne the new cologne.
Speaker 1: Now, we were all just in Bridgetown together, amazing hat
Speaker 1: What was your experience in bridge here?
Speaker 2: It was unbelievable.
Speaker 4: And I keep texting and I think I'm annoying, like
Speaker 4: uh Andy and Bronger and that whole crew that put
Speaker 4: it together Riley Newton, because I'm like, guys having the withdrawals.
Speaker 4: We're too out and I'm still having withdrawals.
Speaker 3: Do you think that maybe they just think you're kissing
Speaker 3: a little ass.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's where I go with it.
Speaker 2: Maybe, Yeah, or.
Speaker 1: Is it you're a hairon autict.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's too.
Speaker 4: He's just reaching out for help, because it is if
Speaker 4: you're a comic that performs there, like as cool as
Speaker 4: things like Cochella R and all these cool things for civilians. Yeah,
Speaker 4: when you do something like Bridgetown and you're a part
Speaker 4: of it, that to me is a greater high than
Speaker 4: something that you know naturally you're part of it. Yes,
Speaker 4: that's right, you're not just an observer. And uh yeah
Speaker 4: it was hardcore, you know, drinking and shows and good
Speaker 4: good people and I don't know, people have their guard
Speaker 4: down a little bit.
Speaker 2: People you see in LA all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and in that way, it really is like having withdrawals.
Speaker 3: I because I I decided I wouldn't have a drink
Speaker 3: for a while and still haven't since Bridgetown. Did a
Speaker 3: little cleanse. My lower back hurt and I thought, well,
Speaker 3: I didn't do any heavy lifting. I realized it was
Speaker 3: my kidneys. Yeah, her physical sore from actual physical soreness
Speaker 3: in my guts. So I did a plans that extracts
Speaker 3: some of those toxins, or that's what the box says,
Speaker 3: and I feel great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it made a difference.
Speaker 3: Oh, God, my movements. It's I've never you want to
Speaker 3: talk easy and I'm not just saying die. This isn't
Speaker 3: a big diarrhea diatribe.
Speaker 2: Oh it is.
Speaker 3: Smooth, solid, soft, I feel like a newborn baby diarrhea tribe.
Speaker 1: I really thought when you said movements you meant your
Speaker 1: physical moving around.
Speaker 3: Oh that too, I'm not honestly, everything feels good, My
Speaker 3: hip feels better.
Speaker 2: Did you coin that? I think you just coined diarrhea tribe?
Speaker 2: Did you?
Speaker 3: I think so.
Speaker 1: I think you just started a diarrhea tribe.
Speaker 2: It is so funny.
Speaker 4: Did he's the head of Yeah, the food up there too,
Speaker 4: I mean those donuts and that pizza that'll run through you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's half the battle.
Speaker 3: It was that too. Yeah, it's really like, hey, guess
Speaker 3: what free food, But it's just food under the category
Speaker 3: of pizza.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And that last night I saw one of your sets,
Speaker 4: Karen at that upstairs theater.
Speaker 2: That was great.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you. Oh the Jacquolynovak show.
Speaker 2: Yes, from New York. She's the New York I love her.
Speaker 2: She's fantastic.
Speaker 1: She's so hilarious.
Speaker 3: I never saw her.
Speaker 1: She's kind of fascinating. She's really different and it's kind
Speaker 1: of that new It's like the Kate Berlant school of
Speaker 1: female comics that are kind of just doing what they
Speaker 1: want on stage and not really worrying about what like
Speaker 1: the rules are, what it's supposed to be like, and
Speaker 1: it's very cool. It's very fun to see.
Speaker 3: I could sense that from her headshot, and I know
Speaker 3: that seems facetious.
Speaker 1: Does she have a spudhet over her head?
Speaker 3: She just seems like she didn't care before she got
Speaker 3: their photos taken.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's funny that she's also from the character of school.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 4: I like you that you don't care about the headshot.
Speaker 4: It's like, at this point, who I mean, are we
Speaker 4: taking headshots seriously?
Speaker 2: Still?
Speaker 3: Like, what will you do your headshot joke?
Speaker 4: I'm asking, Oh, sure, sure, I got mine back recently
Speaker 4: from the photographer and uh, it looks like I'm going
Speaker 4: to be a writer.
Speaker 3: Come on, come on, you guys.
Speaker 4: I they gave me a pisaurus instead of the negatives.
Speaker 3: Did you just tag it?
Speaker 2: No, I've tagged it before.
Speaker 4: That was an old tag. That was a and then
Speaker 4: I've got a couple more, but we'll call it.
Speaker 1: How many times you tag it?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Then I talked about do you remember MAVs Beacon the
Speaker 4: typing tutor. She was a she was a black woman
Speaker 4: character on this typing tutor. Uh that you'd have and
Speaker 4: it was just random. It was like aunt Jemima. It
Speaker 4: was really kind of I thought, Yeah, I thought so
Speaker 4: because it was like keep your fingers on the home keys,
Speaker 4: and it was like, okay, I don't know what. You
Speaker 4: would watch this and know you'd play it on your
Speaker 4: computer and a voice would come up and it was
Speaker 4: called MAVs becon Typing Tutor.
Speaker 1: I have to say that appeals to me because I
Speaker 1: love it when black women help me, tell me what
Speaker 1: to do, or call me like sweetheart. There's nothing better
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: In the world.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that would work on me too, because all
Speaker 3: I really wanted out of life is an older black
Speaker 3: woman's approval in any way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but maybe that's racist.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I guess well, if you're getting it accepted by a
Speaker 4: black woman, you're that's huge because I think no other
Speaker 4: demographic is harder to overcome in this kind you know,
Speaker 4: as hard as it's been for women, as hard as
Speaker 4: it's been for black people. A black woman, I mean
Speaker 4: your window as small as an actress. Yes, and the
Speaker 4: discrimination and the.
Speaker 1: Most importantly as in the acting.
Speaker 2: Field bat to our world. Yes, regardless of you know,
Speaker 2: Harriet Tubman and all that would had to happen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, So that is why it's racist. It's
Speaker 3: because I want their approval so I feel better, or it's.
Speaker 1: That they're the most oppressed group is the one who
Speaker 1: is the most right to tell you to fuck off.
Speaker 1: So if they're not, it kind of might mean that
Speaker 1: you're great or at least acceptable, right, right, that's.
Speaker 2: What I think.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and let's not even get into Native American treatment
Speaker 4: of Native Americans.
Speaker 3: Jesus could be started about what I think of those people. Wait, no,
Speaker 3: that's not the way you like them.
Speaker 1: I'm very much in supportive that I know.
Speaker 3: I know. I tried to make a joke.
Speaker 2: No, it's really good.
Speaker 4: When we were in Billings, Chris Uh, I shook a
Speaker 4: Native Americans hand to this guy, and I've never felt
Speaker 4: a stronger hand in like.
Speaker 2: That would be crazy.
Speaker 4: He was like he was a funny dude, and he
Speaker 4: was like doing jokes like old like truly tasteless jokes
Speaker 4: that were hilarious, And he shook my hand and it
Speaker 4: was so strong, I was afraid. I'm like, if he
Speaker 4: doesn't let go, like I'm screwed. No, he was just
Speaker 4: a dude. I think he might have been homeless maybe
Speaker 4: or just kind.
Speaker 1: Of a free screw. Wouldn't let go?
Speaker 4: Yeah, clam on, but they really are magical people. Hi,
Speaker 4: I'm white male from Orange County.
Speaker 2: Had a sexual differ.
Speaker 3: You way, you you've spent time in Montana. That's not
Speaker 3: your first brude with the spiritual.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 4: If you've if you've spent a summer up there in
Speaker 4: your life, then you know what majestic is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've paid your dues at least.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's unreal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I grew up there luckily, so I have a
Speaker 3: clean slate. I always there was a newslady that said
Speaker 3: something horrible. It was a Fox clip, of course, and
Speaker 3: I believe she said something about the high how are
Speaker 3: you like the one of those jokes she like sang
Speaker 3: and it was a real even the person next to
Speaker 3: her cringed a little, and he was a silver haired
Speaker 3: white man. But then she said, it's okay, I can
Speaker 3: say that in part Native American. Okay, that's a real
Speaker 3: thing that happened. But I think it would be really
Speaker 3: funny for the sake of comedy of it slowly panned
Speaker 3: over and there was a Native American man sitting next
Speaker 3: to her, and she was getting a blood transfusion and
Speaker 3: then pointing at it like this is why I have
Speaker 3: the right Okay, I'm pardon, And then she's currently getting
Speaker 3: a blood transmission.
Speaker 1: Not by birth, but by transfusion.
Speaker 3: Right right that very moment. Yeah, one sixteenth currently entering. Wow,
Speaker 3: is that that's maybe not a good There's a reason
Speaker 3: I'm not a sketch writer.
Speaker 4: No, No, that's funny, though. I think I'd like to
Speaker 4: get some good blood from people.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Was that a dream?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I just wish.
Speaker 4: Like Ed O'Banion was a great basketball player at UCLA
Speaker 4: right around the time I was getting out of high school,
Speaker 4: and we both had knee surgeries around the same time.
Speaker 2: ACL tears and I was hoping.
Speaker 4: I was like, if you want to take some of
Speaker 4: his tendon and put it in my knee, that'd be great.
Speaker 3: Was he in the same hospital.
Speaker 4: No, we rehabbed it the same place, so it couldn't
Speaker 4: like we were post surgery, so what were they going
Speaker 4: to do? Go, Hey, we takes him out after all
Speaker 4: those staples are fresh.
Speaker 3: Yes, some of them dangling out of a hole we left.
Speaker 1: That might be a good TV show to right though,
Speaker 1: in a kind of night writery way where a guy,
Speaker 1: a regular guy, gets an athlete's muscles.
Speaker 2: That's true, right, I supplanted in him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I guess fights sports.
Speaker 4: Crime, any crime that falls outside of sports jurisdiction.
Speaker 2: No, it has to be steroid or like in an arena.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it can be one arm something's going on here.
Speaker 4: Sorry technical, but but but Portland's great because that city
Speaker 4: still flies below the radar, you know, it's like it's
Speaker 4: not been exhausted. Not that Seattle flies above the radar,
Speaker 4: but I feel like the nineties did amazing things for Seattle. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and like the show Portland, they joke that it's basically
Speaker 4: the nineties perpetually, and it really has that feel.
Speaker 3: It really does have that feel. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, also, people are just chill. They're not not as
Speaker 1: a like lifestyle choice. But that's just people are very
Speaker 1: low key, as it seems culturally like, it's not it's
Speaker 1: the opposite of la in that way. If there's not
Speaker 1: a lot of loud talkers, you're not going to get
Speaker 1: a lot of people that.
Speaker 3: Are purposefully on the cell phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're more of a fleece vest group.
Speaker 3: Yeah, comfort clothes. They're just comfortable. And that's I think
Speaker 3: part of the feeling of sadness when I leave there
Speaker 3: is knowing that if I live there, I'd probably be
Speaker 3: a happier person. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know there's
Speaker 3: places where i'd be happier. There's a bunch of cities.
Speaker 1: But what would you do? That's what I always think.
Speaker 3: I'd have to quit what I'm doing now or do
Speaker 3: it at a lesser level, which who wants to make
Speaker 3: that conscious decision?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've already been here and like had.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm in too deep. I'm elbows deep.
Speaker 1: You're in the your mid fight? Why stop exactly?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think most of us in this business, if
Speaker 4: you stepped out or took a job somewhere else, day
Speaker 4: one at that new job, you'd be like, oh, well,
Speaker 4: this is awful.
Speaker 2: I was closer than I thought. Yeah, right, doing the
Speaker 2: other thing.
Speaker 3: That was one thing my dad always warned me of,
Speaker 3: which is pretty specific and I think rare is you know,
Speaker 3: cheering me on saying you might have regrets because I
Speaker 3: know that. I don't think he has had regrets about
Speaker 3: not he was a radio guy, and I think that
Speaker 3: at one point he decided, Okay, I'm not going to
Speaker 3: do this. It makes more sense having a family to
Speaker 3: go back home and do this other job. But I
Speaker 3: know that, you know, he always warned me to like
Speaker 3: make sure to stick and follow my dreams because I
Speaker 3: would regret it later. He warned me of that, And
Speaker 3: a lot of parents won't do that. We'll just be like, oh,
Speaker 3: you should do this less risky moneymaking job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he's he's one of us. Really, he gets
Speaker 1: it of us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he gets it, he gets it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Did you hear the I don't know if you listen
Speaker 4: to much Mark Marrin podcast, but Will Ferrell was on
Speaker 4: whose dad was a performer of some sort. Oh really, yeah,
Speaker 4: and his dad just told him when when Will was
Speaker 4: getting into this, his dad said, look, if it's not
Speaker 4: working after five years, or you're not having a good time,
Speaker 4: don't be afraid to call it, you know. Yeah, And
Speaker 4: like that's weirdly the best advice and the reverse of
Speaker 4: like what so many of the old generation dads would say,
Speaker 4: is like, no, you got stick it out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it takes twenty years. His Dad's like, no, no,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: There's no shame in quitting.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well because when I, like when I started stand up,
Speaker 1: the idea I had in my head of when I
Speaker 1: was going to move to LA and what show business
Speaker 1: was like and what was going to happen, and all
Speaker 1: those things were just made up. And when I slowly
Speaker 1: learned what it really was, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like you, that's part of it too, where it's just
Speaker 1: a fiction that you make up of, like I'm going
Speaker 1: to move to LA and be on TV and then
Speaker 1: it are going to be like this, and it's kind
Speaker 1: of an ugly reality when you actually get here and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, this isn't Yeah, it doesn't make you
Speaker 1: like the Queen of the Senior prom. No, it's in
Speaker 1: any way, shape or form.
Speaker 4: I mean, you look in our field, I don't know,
Speaker 4: two of the top comedians of all time maybe worldwide
Speaker 4: as a matter of fact, of course worldwide, Rob Williams
Speaker 4: and Bill Cosby last year, you know, both had tough time.
Speaker 4: But but Robin of course was sick, right he found
Speaker 4: out he was sick, and and so and you know,
Speaker 4: and people he goes out to the next dimension and
Speaker 4: people love him still and forever.
Speaker 2: But Bill Cosey's kind of going out a different way.
Speaker 1: Did you see that statement he gave so weird? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it was crazy. Did you see it?
Speaker 3: I think I saw a clip of it where he
Speaker 3: was just in coherent almost yeah, and but speaking in
Speaker 3: a He's like, if a young person comes up to me,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I I do not remember what he said.
Speaker 1: It was just anything you would have said after that
Speaker 1: to make up what you thought he said was what
Speaker 1: he said. It was just utter bullshit. And I mean, like,
Speaker 1: do you remember any of it? Was one thing I said,
Speaker 1: he said something about the road being long, and then
Speaker 1: something else, such sideways or whatever. You're like, oh no,
Speaker 1: you don't the.
Speaker 2: Road's long, and oh god, it was so nonsensical.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a politician like, oh my god, you're
Speaker 4: not answering this question about whatever, the war, they economy,
Speaker 4: almost whatever.
Speaker 1: And then if and said something like I've been into
Speaker 1: his business for fifty six years, I've never seen anything
Speaker 1: like this. It's like, right, you're getting caught. That's what
Speaker 1: you haven't seen.
Speaker 2: Actual How dare I get caught?
Speaker 1: The repercussions of your hideous behavior. You haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right.
Speaker 3: And I think what everyone has probably decided is that
Speaker 3: he never will get in trouble, right, that's just that
Speaker 3: he's old.
Speaker 4: What he just lived too long. I mean, if he
Speaker 4: had he died ten years ago, maybe this doesn't come up.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't, Yeah, what do they do? I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know.
Speaker 4: Limitation, No, there's no statue limitations? Is there on child? Well,
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't not for child molestation, but for rape there
Speaker 1: it's seven years. So there's a lot of these people
Speaker 1: that it's Yeah, isn't that crazy? For a lot of people,
Speaker 1: it's just they're saying it because someone else finally said it,
Speaker 1: so they were like, Okay, I'm not going to look
Speaker 1: like a lunatic. This is a real thing. But it's
Speaker 1: purely for.
Speaker 3: That and even the most recent, the most recent one
Speaker 3: was seven more than seven years.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think so it's crazy.
Speaker 4: I mean that that the rich famous, I mean, he's
Speaker 4: good looking. I guess whatever in his prime, that's that, like,
Speaker 4: come on, no, just average I guess that that it
Speaker 4: was a pill because like date, rape can can be
Speaker 4: a gray area, like it can be if pills.
Speaker 2: People are drunk. It's messy.
Speaker 4: There can be some mistakes and regrets, but there's no uh.
Speaker 4: I mean when you go into the situation with a pill.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, not a gray area, you know.
Speaker 3: No, No, it's like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: When you think you're in an audition and then you
Speaker 1: lose time and then you have vaginal damage, that's a whole.
Speaker 1: That's there's no gray area. Also, he did it to
Speaker 1: who's that gorgeous black model Carol Shit, what's her name?
Speaker 1: She was like one of the first Beverly Johnson, one
Speaker 1: of the first black Vogue covers.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I can trust her.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But she got out, she like screamed, you son of
Speaker 1: a bitch and somehow got outside.
Speaker 4: And you can't come out at that time. Because he's
Speaker 4: the top comic for twenty years or whatever, an America's dad.
Speaker 4: It's not like it's you know, Lenny Bruce or something
Speaker 4: that I dislike.
Speaker 3: I mean, he's lucky he didn't do it to another
Speaker 3: comic because they would just be like, yeah, fuck, because
Speaker 3: I would do it because of that, Oh, your squeaky clean,
Speaker 3: successful reputation. I will love destroying that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, except for that, I think for a lot of women,
Speaker 1: it feels like you won't destroy anything, you'll just become
Speaker 1: the slut.
Speaker 3: In THEO and that probably probably is what would have happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I can't believe they didn't have him on the last letterman.
Speaker 4: I really think an oversight.
Speaker 1: I mean, if they wanted ratings, which clearly they were
Speaker 1: doing it.
Speaker 3: For ratings, he's probably stopped doing his tour, right.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I think he's still on tour. There are
Speaker 1: people that go there intentionally to support him.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, to.
Speaker 4: Support like, I don't know man, and it shirt always
Speaker 4: says hello friend, and he's wearing sweatpants.
Speaker 2: It's really weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gross.
Speaker 2: Did you guys see the last letterment? Yes, there's some
Speaker 2: great stuff.
Speaker 3: I need to I need to.
Speaker 1: And Kidler made the Yes. I was so happy real.
Speaker 4: So yeah, that was so great at the like almost
Speaker 4: very end right during the last song montage, Well.
Speaker 1: I did, to be honest, I only heard about that
Speaker 1: because my DVR shut off. Oh did I missed the
Speaker 1: last that last thing? Yeah, and I see part of
Speaker 1: it online, but I didn't see him.
Speaker 4: He had the foo Fighters canceled years and fifteen years
Speaker 4: ago when he had his quadruple bypass, they canceled their
Speaker 4: tour of South America so they could be on Letterman
Speaker 4: to welcome him back.
Speaker 1: Yeah isn't that cool?
Speaker 4: And yeah, I mean they sang him off for the
Speaker 4: finale and Kidler was in that Kindler was great at
Speaker 4: Bridgetown as well.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, did you see him dancing that night Friday.
Speaker 2: Night, Thursday night? First night? I think I love to.
Speaker 3: Like nineties era hip hop like TLC.
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh he could, no one, no comment would stop.
Speaker 3: Him, mostly as driven moves. Yeah, he wasn't stopping.
Speaker 1: A lot of lips, a lot of duck lips. Oh,
Speaker 1: it was pretty powerful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a kid, he's a machine like.
Speaker 4: Because he was performing with that band in one of
Speaker 4: the shows on stage. God, I don't know which night
Speaker 4: it was. I think it was the first night and
Speaker 4: he's like, what am I up here with Tom? I
Speaker 4: feel like Tom Jones. I'm just a little Jewish one
Speaker 4: of my Tom Jonesenberg and stupid, so ridiculous.
Speaker 2: And he plays guitar. He was really good on guitar.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's a great guitar player.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, huh, here we go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just to go back to the Letterman thing. I
Speaker 3: think that, uh, it will be a regret for me
Speaker 3: that I never I really always wanted to be on
Speaker 3: that show. I wanted to always make Letterman laugh. Yeah,
Speaker 3: at some point in my career. Yeah, And there was
Speaker 3: a little window there, like there is a year and
Speaker 3: a half where I was like, well, he has Montana
Speaker 3: people on like as a novelty. He has like Montana Week.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's a way to get I just ever followed
Speaker 3: up if I was like a hard worker, right.
Speaker 4: Well, that's the one thing about l A. It's really
Speaker 4: easy not to follow up in any part.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Once you move here, you're like, isn't this the follow up?
Speaker 2: Like just put me on something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm here, you just do it for me.
Speaker 1: I can't follow I'm working hard.
Speaker 3: I mean I'm at home. I'm rocking back and forth.
Speaker 1: Staring at my phone watching movies from the eighties.
Speaker 3: What want.
Speaker 2: Movies from the eighties.
Speaker 4: One someone brought up to me this week about sixteen Candles,
Speaker 4: and they're like, you know, Anthony Michael Hall, our sweetheart
Speaker 4: did pull it, Bill Cosby and that girl, Jake Skill
Speaker 4: and it's like, oh, that's true, like America's Sweetheart.
Speaker 1: But they were both they were both drunk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was drunk and she was a villain. Was well.
Speaker 3: He he didn't give her the pill though, right, she
Speaker 3: was just.
Speaker 4: Spit it out or knocked it out. Wait, she knocked
Speaker 4: it out of his hand. But it was a pill.
Speaker 4: Was it a pill?
Speaker 2: That birth That's what it was. He took it, she
Speaker 2: gave it to him, right.
Speaker 3: Do you have any idea what that'll do to a guy?
Speaker 3: Exactly what we'll do to a girl my age.
Speaker 1: The best movie ever.
Speaker 3: It was so great, So you're you are willing to
Speaker 3: drop the chargers on Anthony Michael Hall now that you
Speaker 3: know it was birth control pill.
Speaker 1: Well, and it was a movie. I think that's the
Speaker 1: best part about it because it was. It was not real.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no church ender dog.
Speaker 4: They ended up in a church parking lot the next day.
Speaker 4: She even said she enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: She loved him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was love. The best part was waking up
Speaker 2: in his arms.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's my favorite movie. Oh at the end when
Speaker 3: all those cars get out of the way and there's
Speaker 3: Jake Ryan, I think, yes.
Speaker 1: He moved away like the god that he was.
Speaker 3: It's like a Yankee style Amish carpenter.
Speaker 1: Now he's like, Hollywood, I don't need it. I'm too
Speaker 1: beautiful for it.
Speaker 3: All I needs these work chaps and a tall glass
Speaker 3: of lemonade in this hammer.
Speaker 2: He was a good, stunning looking something.
Speaker 3: He was a spec It.
Speaker 1: Was the perfect perfect for like that high school the
Speaker 1: guy that you love that you don't think knows you
Speaker 1: exist like it was. And I was I think fourteen
Speaker 1: when that movie came.
Speaker 3: Out, and it was easy as a kid for me
Speaker 3: to apply it to all the girls I liked it was.
Speaker 3: I was able. But it's the most relatable movie, yeah
Speaker 3: to me. And it was basically about it. So you know,
Speaker 3: if you haven't seen it as about sixteen year old
Speaker 3: girl who likes popular guy, but I related.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's because of a lot of the clothes I
Speaker 3: was wearing back then. Okay, are you going? I was
Speaker 3: a bit of a farmer.
Speaker 4: I can see you is that as a young kid
Speaker 4: as that character dancing around, it's a little skinny.
Speaker 3: Ring on the dancing horses. I was listening to the
Speaker 3: echo and the bunny man.
Speaker 1: And the just the one bunny.
Speaker 3: Man echoing the bunny man. Yeah, just to terrifying me
Speaker 3: as a kid. The dreams are.
Speaker 2: Well, it's just great casting by John Hughes, more great stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I saw the trailer for that on Siskel and Ebert
Speaker 1: with my family. We're all watching TV. It's like seven
Speaker 1: o'clock and that clip of that movie came on and
Speaker 1: when it turned off, I was like ran to the television.
Speaker 1: And when I turned off, I turned to my mother
Speaker 1: and I was, you have to take me to that.
Speaker 1: You have to take me to that the day it comes.
Speaker 2: Out, and she did, Oh, you had just seen the trailer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was the field, everything that was going on.
Speaker 1: I was like, I gotta, I need to be there
Speaker 1: for this.
Speaker 3: I think it was important to watch if you were
Speaker 3: not quite a high school aged person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fourteen is prime.
Speaker 3: Yeah, something to look forward to.
Speaker 4: The Jake was also in uh Vision Quest with Modine.
Speaker 4: He played his body with the mohawk.
Speaker 1: Mohawk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was in a movie.
Speaker 4: Called Let's Get Harry with one of the most unbelievable
Speaker 4: casts of all times, that which is it's Mark Harmon,
Speaker 4: Robert Duval, Gary Busey, Biff from Back to the Future,
Speaker 4: Glenn Frye from the Eagles, and Mark Mark Fry. Mark
Speaker 4: Harmon gets a Mark Harmon gets kidnap. He's a contractor
Speaker 4: down in Central America. And you know what those countries
Speaker 4: were doing to America in the eighties, sure, just violating us.
Speaker 1: You couldn't take all our money. It was so sad
Speaker 1: for us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really rough.
Speaker 4: And uh and he gets kidnapped by you know, basically
Speaker 4: Central Americans who have nothing. Uh And and they they're
Speaker 4: all Vietnam vets. I get well, some of Marley carry
Speaker 4: Busy and Duval and they go down to get Harry's
Speaker 4: name was Harry. And they gather up and go get them,
Speaker 4: and they try.
Speaker 2: To bring them home. I'm not going to tell you
Speaker 2: what happens.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's on Netflix?
Speaker 2: It's uh, I don't know if it is.
Speaker 4: It's it's from like nineteen it would have been early
Speaker 4: minute it Get Harry.
Speaker 2: It's called Let's Get.
Speaker 4: Hairy, Let's get hair, Yeah, which I'm sure there's another
Speaker 4: version where it's people that want body hair, Let's.
Speaker 1: Get Let's be the most disgusting perversion. Let's just get
Speaker 1: really hairy.
Speaker 3: Just holding your breath and pushing and their friend has
Speaker 3: a microscope.
Speaker 1: Weird chemicals.
Speaker 3: Let's get Harry.
Speaker 1: Get hair suit.
Speaker 4: But that's Jake. So other than those three movies, I
Speaker 4: don't know. And then you say Jake went to Pennsylvania
Speaker 4: or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he became a car if he had stuck around
Speaker 3: Matt Dylan when I never worked again, he was like
Speaker 3: a better Matt Dylan.
Speaker 1: Matt Dylan, Matt Dylan did fine. Did I ever tell
Speaker 1: the story of Matt Dylan coming into the Gap that
Speaker 1: I worked at in San Francisco, stumbled in drunk one day? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it was like it was like my teenage dream
Speaker 1: come true. But I was like, stand up, Like it
Speaker 1: had been eight hours shift and I was folding sweaters
Speaker 1: at the dressing rooms and I look up and Matt
Speaker 1: Dylan walks in. I was just like how what, how
Speaker 1: is this possible? And immediately me and my friend Jason,
Speaker 1: who was gay, spot him and immediately walked to where
Speaker 1: he like pick up things and pretend like we have
Speaker 1: to go over to the cash rap where he is
Speaker 1: and he needed someone to call him cab.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, and he's.
Speaker 1: Told are we had this really airhead manager, this guy
Speaker 1: named Colby, who was hilarious, and he told the Colby
Speaker 1: he goes, man, can you call me a Cowther's a
Speaker 1: guy following me up the street and called me had
Speaker 1: no idea it was Matt Dylan. He goes, oh, I
Speaker 1: totally have been there, as it happens to me all
Speaker 1: the time. I'm Dylan.
Speaker 3: My sister worked at a place called music Land in
Speaker 3: the mall. It's like a regional chain, and Richard Marx
Speaker 3: came in and at the time, he was very valid
Speaker 3: and he was just shopping around and he bought whatever
Speaker 3: he bought, and my sister purposefully grabbed his album and said,
Speaker 3: you should buy this. I heard it's really great, liked him,
Speaker 3: and then he was like, uh huh, and.
Speaker 1: Then uh so he's a fun guy.
Speaker 3: He's as funny as he has talented. And then at
Speaker 3: the end, when he was like signing the credit card receipt,
Speaker 3: she said, go ahead and sign it on the dotted line,
Speaker 3: which neither of you probably realize. He is a lyric
Speaker 3: sign on the dead and he didn't. He didn't catch
Speaker 3: that either. Appointed She's like, you actually wrote that at
Speaker 3: one point because it wasn't a dotted line. That's why
Speaker 3: he should have known.
Speaker 1: He's very small in real life, and most people are Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, true, but I think that has something to
Speaker 1: do with his need to be taken seriously and not
Speaker 1: not having a good sense of humor.
Speaker 2: Is that you're talking about Matt?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I oddly jumped to Richard.
Speaker 1: Richard, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, No, I'm sure Matt Dylan
Speaker 1: is a specimen.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he's got I mean you saw him. How
Speaker 3: tall was he?
Speaker 1: Well? I got super dizzy and kind of couldn't focus
Speaker 1: the second I realized it was him. But he's like,
Speaker 1: you know, I would put him between five eleven and
Speaker 1: six feet.
Speaker 3: I know what i'd put him between. Yeah, what what's
Speaker 3: you're supposed to just inate?
Speaker 1: What's our sponsor?
Speaker 3: Doctor Evans?
Speaker 1: I don't know who that is.
Speaker 3: If you guys ever gotten to Brazilian, I did that
Speaker 3: not long ago, but you didn't. Yeah I did. But sure,
Speaker 3: it's not a perversion. It's just something I don't like
Speaker 3: to have hair, and so I thought i'd give it
Speaker 3: a shot. And it was there's no way that. I
Speaker 3: don't know why. It was so painful, but I was screaming.
Speaker 3: I almost quit halfway. I'm like, just do half of me.
Speaker 3: I don't care anymore of one side wax the other
Speaker 3: side ship.
Speaker 1: I know it was painful.
Speaker 3: It's fucking horrible.
Speaker 1: It's the worst. It's Chris, did.
Speaker 2: You do the front or just the back?
Speaker 3: Well, I wanted it for the back.
Speaker 2: I don't want, you know, the front you can trim.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's so disgusting to me to ass hair.
Speaker 3: I just wanted rid of it. I don't want I
Speaker 3: don't want anyone to assume anything about me. I'm I'm
Speaker 3: really putting a nice self on the lip.
Speaker 2: I like it.
Speaker 1: I'm shocked, but it's fun.
Speaker 2: I've gone, I've gone gone.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, the front, that's where it was, like, leave,
Speaker 3: I'll take care that. Yeah, to not have it, I'm
Speaker 3: not like, uh, you know this is for me. So
Speaker 3: this one's it hurts so bad and blood.
Speaker 1: You bet sure? You and ingrin hairs, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: The grow back grow back is not good.
Speaker 3: Within a couple of weeks, I thought it would come
Speaker 3: back all wispy and lighter, like a like a Donald
Speaker 3: Trump come over. But it came back with yours. Yeah,
Speaker 3: just hair coming out sideway. It's like, fuck you for
Speaker 3: trying to get rid of me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like a drunken party guest. Oh god, the vengeance.
Speaker 4: I've done it about four or five times myself, have
Speaker 4: you really? Yeah, wax between the cheek treatment, that's so great.
Speaker 4: And we can even tell you the place where I go.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm That's what I didn't say. I asked
Speaker 3: for a Brazilian and apparently that doesn't mean between the cheeks.
Speaker 4: No that, but because no that front, so hold you
Speaker 4: stay I stay away from that. Yeah, the hair removal
Speaker 4: because for what we have to go through is nothing
Speaker 4: compared to what women do with the It's more painful.
Speaker 1: Oh but if you once you do it, like four
Speaker 1: or five times, then you just you lose all feelings.
Speaker 1: Oh you do, Yeah, it just becomes less Like the
Speaker 1: first time you do it, you can't believe what's happening, right,
Speaker 1: and then.
Speaker 4: Yeah, water comes out, sweat, the sweat that explodes out
Speaker 4: your forehead.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I couldn't believe how much I was sweating.
Speaker 1: It's crazy.
Speaker 3: So I need to not wait a couple of years
Speaker 3: for my second you know, I do it just as
Speaker 3: a treat. Yeah, but I need to keep going in
Speaker 3: you're saying, Karen, h.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean because that's part of uh, like the
Speaker 1: ingrown hairs. There's all kinds of stuff that I think
Speaker 1: if you keep it up, it helps prevent that and
Speaker 1: it makes it a little bit easier.
Speaker 3: Okay, and then eventually is it crazy to think that
Speaker 3: if you do it enough, you just you have less hair.
Speaker 1: It depends I they say that, but I think it
Speaker 1: depends on the kind of like kind of hair you have.
Speaker 1: Like you're a very hairy person. I have a lot
Speaker 1: of head hair.
Speaker 3: Oh my head, I don't. I mean, I mean, if
Speaker 3: you look at my legs, though it looks like I
Speaker 3: shaved them, I don't. I think it's a hormone issue.
Speaker 3: But I'm actually not that hairy.
Speaker 1: So then maybe you would eventually it would lessen up.
Speaker 1: I don't know. They definitely say that with laser or
Speaker 1: treatment that.
Speaker 3: It starts to do I start taking estrogen.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think that your transition needs to come in
Speaker 1: about three years.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you said that word because I was
Speaker 3: dancing around the issue transition.
Speaker 2: So it's a deeper it's not just terrimbile.
Speaker 3: No, no, well it really is.
Speaker 2: I just oh, this is okay. Oh.
Speaker 4: The wax goes on and you're like, this is okay, okay,
Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden, you go from like warm,
Speaker 4: good wax in a sensitive area to sheer like horror.
Speaker 3: And my lady was not warning me. I had to
Speaker 3: actually get her to say, hey, can you let me
Speaker 3: know when you're about to pull this surprise thing is
Speaker 3: not fun?
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: They definitely are supposed to let you know. There's a
Speaker 1: whole system. There's a woman I went to with Berkeley
Speaker 1: for a while that was so awesome, just this Russian
Speaker 1: woman and she had this whole system where she'd go
Speaker 1: like one, huh like that, so you kind of like
Speaker 1: braced for it, Yeah, exactly, and you just kind of
Speaker 1: like it's for a while it stopped.
Speaker 3: My woman was horrible at it. She was so she
Speaker 3: would not warn me, and then I asked her to
Speaker 3: and then she'd go, okay, I'll just can't down one, two, three, okay.
Speaker 3: And then it was back to just doing it, surprising
Speaker 3: me with it, like she would just count and then
Speaker 3: not do it on three. I'm like, we finally figured
Speaker 3: it out.
Speaker 1: You probably should.
Speaker 3: When I came home, I took some pictures in my bottle.
Speaker 3: I looked at them. I'm like, you, you left the
Speaker 3: hair exactly where it needed to be, not be I
Speaker 3: don't care about the front or the side. What a
Speaker 3: bikini line. I'm not gonna wear a speedo. Do you
Speaker 3: think I have a weightlifting contest? You left the hair
Speaker 3: exactly where it shouldn't be, only on my butt. She
Speaker 3: left a strip U wrecked, you know, spinker Muscache and
Speaker 3: I hated. I was like so mad, I went back.
Speaker 3: But yep, Patrick, I was supposed to say between the cheeks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, between the cheeks.
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to know some language going into it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well they have.
Speaker 4: The only reason I knew that was the place I
Speaker 4: went to had like under men's category, it had dairy air,
Speaker 4: and then it had between the cheeks, and then some
Speaker 4: places put between the cheeks within the dairy air.
Speaker 3: Right, how about we approach this thing without using language
Speaker 3: from the nineteen twenties. Maybe then there'd be a.
Speaker 1: Clarity, find it easier when he speaks in French about it.
Speaker 2: I think that's that's what I'm just saying. What the
Speaker 2: website says.
Speaker 4: Well, and I usually tip well because I'm like you,
Speaker 4: poor girl, you have to and it's usually a woman
Speaker 4: that's doing it, and I'm like you put whatever you're
Speaker 4: seeing down there.
Speaker 2: Can't be pretty.
Speaker 3: Oh, I know I have like a I've had. I
Speaker 3: had a scar. They had to cut me a new
Speaker 3: butthole once for surgery I had. I know that's still there.
Speaker 3: They said it would never heal. She never brought up
Speaker 3: my second butthole. I mean, I know this, it's getting
Speaker 3: into gross territory. Oh no, yeah, I've had a series
Speaker 3: of anal fissures and fistillas and just infection. So they
Speaker 3: went ahead and for a while I had a little
Speaker 3: tube that came out to where a women's sanitary napkin. No,
Speaker 3: I am, indeed, I've had so that I have a
Speaker 3: second what appears to be and just a smaller butthole
Speaker 3: above my actual butthole.
Speaker 2: She never brought that.
Speaker 3: No, is it common to This is something I don't
Speaker 3: tell anyone, And oftentimes during this podcast, I think I'm
Speaker 3: not talking to anyone, but I am telling you one.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I think it's a beautiful, uh sharing
Speaker 1: moment because a lot of people have a lot of
Speaker 1: fucked up shit with their body in general, and so
Speaker 1: just to not care is great because people shouldn't. I mean,
Speaker 1: what's funny to me is the idea that guys would
Speaker 1: be waxing at all because I just feel like women don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like I would never wish that on anyone,
Speaker 1: having been through myself. It's not an expectation that I
Speaker 1: would have or a necessity really. I but I mean,
Speaker 1: it's teach his own and it's you guys are talking
Speaker 1: about it because you want to do.
Speaker 3: It for yourself, but it feels like you feel like
Speaker 3: a newborn baby seal for a couple of days.
Speaker 2: Oh it's great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah it is weird, it's yeah, well it's funny.
Speaker 4: They should whoever does waxing for men or whatever should
Speaker 4: keep track of all the like excuses that guys go,
Speaker 4: oh yeah, yeah, yeah, totally uh.
Speaker 2: Doing this for my my girl, like the what I open?
Speaker 2: And then now they don't even I'm sure they turn
Speaker 2: it off.
Speaker 1: Yeah I told bicycling club.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I told my lady it was for a role.
Speaker 2: God forbid. It's just like, oh, I want to just
Speaker 2: feel better.
Speaker 3: Oh an acting gigs? Well kind of. I mean it's
Speaker 3: they should.
Speaker 1: Those excuses and then put them into a coffee table
Speaker 1: book with picture pictures of Chris's as on every page.
Speaker 3: I guess I'm glad I've told everyone that.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't think it's uncommon though, I've heard about that.
Speaker 3: You have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, good, yeah, oh.
Speaker 3: I was twenty four. It was a long time ago.
Speaker 3: I'm doing great now, everybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I couldn't afford this. It was an outpatient surgery, but
Speaker 3: still a lot of money. And it was in Austin,
Speaker 3: and so I drew a picture of the doctor. We traded.
Speaker 3: Everyone was willing in Austin, Texas to trade for art.
Speaker 3: It was great. I paid for so many my car
Speaker 3: before I moved to La. It was I drew a
Speaker 3: picture of groovy automotive and they framed it and I
Speaker 3: didn't have to pay for my radiator and stuff.
Speaker 1: No way.
Speaker 3: And this doctor wanted to be at a barbecue an
Speaker 3: illustration of him at a barbecue with rather than with
Speaker 3: a spatula and barbecue tools. It was like Colon working tools. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: it was yeah, well very much was. He showed me
Speaker 3: a picture of like a speculum and all this stuff,
Speaker 3: and he was sitting at a barbecue and I'm like,
Speaker 3: please say you don't want to meet on the grill
Speaker 3: to be like a colon or lower and test and
Speaker 3: he's like no, no, just steaks. And I'm like, so
Speaker 3: you just want your tools. It's like, yeah, it has
Speaker 3: to be these tools.
Speaker 1: Okay, regularly you're doctor doctor Hannibal Lecter.
Speaker 2: He was.
Speaker 3: He was a strange. He was actually a goofy guy.
Speaker 3: Like if Lecter was a little funnier. Yeah maybe yeah,
Speaker 3: elector more elector beer drinker than.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 4: Body hair is a serious issue. And uh but but
Speaker 4: especially for women. I mean men can kind of get
Speaker 4: away with it and it's okay, and then women have
Speaker 4: to go and deal with this mess. If I have kids,
Speaker 4: I I would probably need to have them with an
Speaker 4: Asian woman or a Native American woman.
Speaker 3: Here we go with then I'd still have regrets about
Speaker 3: my Native American comments.
Speaker 1: We're getting back in.
Speaker 2: There's a lot less body hair on those bodies.
Speaker 3: I think it's the fact that I am indeed great grandfather.
Speaker 3: Apparently we didn't know until some people died and finally
Speaker 3: someone cracked a book that he's Silish scutinee. But I
Speaker 3: do think that is why I don't have I can
Speaker 3: only grow a mustache and a go tea. I am
Speaker 3: totally bald in the cheeks.
Speaker 1: What's salishkutenee.
Speaker 3: It's as a reservation, it's an area it's a small tribe.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I've never heard about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they're small.
Speaker 1: Well I uh, I just sent from uh Jojo the
Speaker 1: dog faced Boy. So I have nothing but hair for
Speaker 1: everyone all day long. It's never ending. My cousin Nancy
Speaker 1: has sideburns. It's insane being pale irish and then insanely
Speaker 1: Harry is. It's a cross I have to bear, not
Speaker 1: unlike the black women of this country. Why would I
Speaker 1: ever say.
Speaker 3: That, because it's a callback something. Hey, if you're jumping
Speaker 3: in now and you're offended by some other things, that
Speaker 3: shame on you for not listening at the beginning.
Speaker 1: You're the racist for not listening from the beginning.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what's racist? Jumping into a pot gas halfway.
Speaker 1: That's you're the biggest bigot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not willing to put in the time. Work harder,
Speaker 3: you're not smarter? Yeah, work harder, not smarter.
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it.
Speaker 4: No, it's it's I think it's all about intent. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and ignorance can get you a little ways.
Speaker 3: Oh you're talking about Cosby again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're back.
Speaker 4: I came out when I was in Cincinnati. I came
Speaker 4: out to that music, The Cosby show music.
Speaker 2: Yeah recently, like a month ago.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Yeah, people did like because that's a clever The Go
Speaker 4: Bananas Club is a smaller club.
Speaker 3: It's all right. I would feel free to Yeah, you
Speaker 3: can play. I'm glad that. Yeah, they don't have me back,
Speaker 3: But do they not know?
Speaker 1: No one does.
Speaker 3: No, No, that's all right, that's all right. Something BIG's
Speaker 3: about to hit here. I think it's this commercial I'm doing.
Speaker 3: People are going to see that on It is web only,
Speaker 3: but once people see how deep I go into this character.
Speaker 1: Web's the only place people are really watching.
Speaker 3: It really is, and the only thing they watch anymore
Speaker 3: is commercials.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I'm I surf the internet.
Speaker 3: I'm going to turn it right here. Even they might
Speaker 3: seem too late. That guy on microphone sir, you can.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that accountant rented a bike.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry they're going to be so upset when everyone's
Speaker 3: so angry at me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Well, weekends, I mean.
Speaker 3: People just think, oh I'm on foot. That means cars
Speaker 3: don't exist because I support the troops. That's what that
Speaker 3: guy was thinking.
Speaker 2: Uh, but yeah it is. It is that body here
Speaker 2: is a tough issue, and we're back.
Speaker 3: Well we haven't talked about. I mean, it's Memorial Day weekend.
Speaker 3: I'm wearing a hat right now that says USA back
Speaker 3: to back World War champs.
Speaker 1: Oh ship you are? I just look right at me.
Speaker 3: While driving a vehicle.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 4: I like to keep I like to think of it
Speaker 4: as a day for all troops that have done you know,
Speaker 4: that were led or misled.
Speaker 3: Yeah, even Vietnamese Vietnam veterans.
Speaker 1: Soldiers really get the short end of the stick.
Speaker 3: I should wear this if I really want to make
Speaker 3: a statement, I'll wear this hat and then wear my
Speaker 3: Saigon City shirt, which really makes people upset because apparently,
Speaker 3: before it became the Hochiman Trail, it was Saigon City.
Speaker 3: And if you wear a shirt that says Saigon City, well,
Speaker 3: aren't you slapping it in the face to our American boys?
Speaker 3: But who that Some guy almost fought me when I
Speaker 3: wore that shirt.
Speaker 2: But no, that has no concept. He's American beer.
Speaker 3: Heres a lot of American beer.
Speaker 2: These guys don't even know what they're getting angry about.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I got punched in Tulsa, Oklahoma after a show
Speaker 3: for having a no war in Iraq sign on the
Speaker 3: back of it. Wasn't even my car, borrowed my ex
Speaker 3: girlfriend's car and she had the sign back there, and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, can I borrow your card and
Speaker 3: drive to Tulsa. And this guy was even walking with
Speaker 3: me out to the parking lot saying, oh, I liked
Speaker 3: your comedy, and then he saw that sign and started
Speaker 3: just am I close?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're specific.
Speaker 3: And he was getting into my face and then I
Speaker 3: made a comment like, well, that's the whole point here
Speaker 3: is you're a person that's willing to get angry about
Speaker 3: this and I'm not. That's you're the person. And then
Speaker 3: he uh pushed me with his fist. He didn't punch me.
Speaker 3: He placed his fist on my chin and pushed me
Speaker 3: with it, which was an interesting Yeah, it's more like
Speaker 3: something a gorilla would do to communicate. Sorry, I just
Speaker 3: saw don of the Rise of the Planning of the apes.
Speaker 3: The planning it's a new one.
Speaker 1: It's a new one, the one where the plane.
Speaker 3: It's the dawn of the planning planning.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: They well, they choose to what they're getting excited about
Speaker 4: because there's no reason, no war in Iraq.
Speaker 2: So you want people to live? What's your problem? Man?
Speaker 2: You don't want death. What's your problem?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you support troops so much that you prefer they
Speaker 3: go die. I support them so much. I hope they
Speaker 3: don't come back.
Speaker 2: That's not so much.
Speaker 3: I support what they're doing. I don't know. They might
Speaker 3: seem like a dated argument.
Speaker 2: Well to all troops everywhere. Yeah, veterans.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that being said, I have plenty of veterans
Speaker 3: in my family.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there money.
Speaker 4: I'd like to see more of a go towards you know,
Speaker 4: people that return from those situations.
Speaker 1: It's such a disgusting thing, like those those VA hospitals
Speaker 1: are all shitty and underfunded everything about. Like I saw
Speaker 1: one documentary about troops coming back from Iraq and it
Speaker 1: was so upsetting. It was just like there's no support,
Speaker 1: there's nothing for mental health, they get nothing. It's everything
Speaker 1: they have to like, they have to fight for everything.
Speaker 1: There's like, is it that really famous Via hospital in
Speaker 1: Washington that like there's like the hallways are flooded. It's
Speaker 1: literally like a ghetto hospital.
Speaker 2: Walter read or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Walter read. It's it's insanity. But like you have
Speaker 1: all these people on the other end that are like
Speaker 1: support the troops and blah blah, blah. It's like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: well that means give money to like the Yellow Ribbon
Speaker 1: Foundation in all those places that like actually support real
Speaker 1: troops that have already served.
Speaker 3: I did. I did support. I bought the sticker. I'm
Speaker 3: putting it on my SUV.
Speaker 1: And I fought a guy in a parking lot. It
Speaker 1: doesn't count.
Speaker 3: I uh yeah, it's it's no one thinks about like
Speaker 3: the I'm sure they all get a deal on a
Speaker 3: prosthetic limb. That's that's yeah. Then went about the therapy
Speaker 3: and exactly PTSD.
Speaker 2: Well, there's a great scene.
Speaker 4: Well what's John Foyd that last scene and coming home
Speaker 4: where he's telling the kids. You know, he's in a
Speaker 4: wheelchair from nom and he's telling the kids, man, don't
Speaker 4: do this, think about think about because there's a military
Speaker 4: guy there in recruiting. Yeah, and then John Floyd speaks
Speaker 4: after him and he's like, no, no, this is what happens.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know anyone in my family or otherwise
Speaker 3: that was in the military in or out of a
Speaker 3: war that would have ever approved of me joining the military.
Speaker 3: All I ever heard was from all of my elders
Speaker 3: was don't do that. Yeah, keep doing your silly art, fancied.
Speaker 2: Right podcasts and whatnot. Fancy lad it go into your
Speaker 2: Bridgetown's schools.
Speaker 3: We're back at your place.
Speaker 2: I noticed that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I noticed that I used navigation.
Speaker 2: It's been a pleasure.
Speaker 3: It's been a pleasure having you back. You're one of
Speaker 3: our only second timers.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: Oh really? Oh huge, Yeah, that's fantastic. Thank you. I
Speaker 2: enjoyed both your comedy and both your company.
Speaker 3: I enjoyed both of those things from each of you.
Speaker 2: Patrick.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed the level of transparency on this podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was incredibly impressive to me.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think we peaked with the waxing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Uh.
Speaker 4: There's a place cocktail wax on los Cienaga. That's where
Speaker 4: I've gone a few times.
Speaker 3: And then I did it once right across from Largo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where I wind. Yeah. Course, and they offer
Speaker 2: you a drink.
Speaker 3: But I'm like, that's why I didn't read the menu.
Speaker 3: I didn't know about inside the cheeks because I was
Speaker 3: drinking a vodka cranberry.
Speaker 2: So funny, that's I've refused to drink there every time
Speaker 2: because I'm too nervous. I'm like, I can't. I can't
Speaker 2: be so.
Speaker 3: I wonder if she does a bad job on me
Speaker 3: but knows what to do with you. Why did Why
Speaker 3: is it it's been a.
Speaker 2: Different girl each time they have a full staff, they.
Speaker 1: Have a full staff, I'm the same woman torturing every
Speaker 1: single person, Like, yeah.
Speaker 3: I did go back in, and she did between the
Speaker 3: cheeks free of charge.
Speaker 2: Did okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I did during that.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's a good spot. I always think it's
Speaker 2: north of Melrose. I think it's south of Melrose. It
Speaker 2: is exactly south and got the parking lot in the back. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's nice.
Speaker 3: It's hard to fit down that narrow Yeah, you gotta
Speaker 3: be careful there.
Speaker 2: If we ran into each other, that would be It
Speaker 2: would be really.
Speaker 1: Fun to have a total girl's day shopping together.
Speaker 3: I feel weird going alone.
Speaker 2: I would yeah, because we can stare and let's just
Speaker 2: go together.
Speaker 4: We'll be there. It'll be like we're memore. It will
Speaker 4: be like veterans because it is brutal, and we.
Speaker 3: Won't we won't have to like say any silly excuses.
Speaker 3: We'll just go well, you know, and point at each
Speaker 3: other and they won't know, but they'll they that there
Speaker 3: does yeah, let me know when you're doing.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think like couples of songs.
Speaker 3: I'll give it another month.
Speaker 2: A month, I'll go.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they have a bed where we could look.
Speaker 1: Up and see I was joking. I thought you guys
Speaker 1: were joking. Now you're making an actual day to get
Speaker 1: your asses waxed together. So I'm going to dip out.
Speaker 1: Probably I might walk home.
Speaker 3: We're really far from going to leave. Okay, Well that's
Speaker 3: next time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have anything to plug cocktail wax. I guess yeah,
Speaker 3: we haven't got that off our peer.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well July fifteenth, it's just so far away.
Speaker 2: I got my next gig, the pell Room in the
Speaker 2: comedy store upstairs.
Speaker 3: Oh good, here in town then, yeah here, I'm okay
Speaker 3: all right.
Speaker 2: So come check it out.
Speaker 1: And is it just you?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's going to be kind of a variety type
Speaker 4: of show, so it'll be kind of some insanity.
Speaker 3: That sounds great. Keep me out of it, yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 3: and I'll be I was going to be in Canada
Speaker 3: this weekend, but I had to cancel it. My apologies
Speaker 3: to the Comedy Cave, but got a better gig and
Speaker 3: eat it, eat my short. Yeah, I'm not going back
Speaker 3: there anyway.
Speaker 2: I yelled at me, I'll talk to him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you talked to him. You talked to that guy.
Speaker 2: But yeah, what's your what's your handle on Twitter?
Speaker 3: Who me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: All the people know that it's Chris Fairbanks. At Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: Why what's yours past?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: At Citizen Keane?
Speaker 3: I like Citizen Kane.
Speaker 1: It's pretty cool.
Speaker 3: K e A n e ban Yeah, mine. I used
Speaker 3: to go O k e e any for years still
Speaker 3: the way I spell it on my phone. No, no offense, no, no,
Speaker 3: none taken Karen. What do you have for coming up? Pat?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Uh No, I don't know. Not much Wednesday. I think
Speaker 1: I'm at the belly room Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Nick Yusuf, Oh cool.
Speaker 1: He is doing a show called like New Material or something.
Speaker 3: Okay, well that sounds fun. Yeah, well you've been listening.
Speaker 3: Did you need a ride? D y n A r