Speaker 1: It's your go, it's your thing, hey y'all, and we
Speaker 1: are back. So if I do a little bit more
Speaker 1: singing for this Grown Ambition episode, it's because I've got
Speaker 1: my fancy mic and it looks like that old school
Speaker 1: how would.
Speaker 2: You describe our Mike Manny Shmancy.
Speaker 1: Right, fan shmancy, old school like professional him. Then he
Speaker 1: can beat you. I don't know why, but it makes
Speaker 1: me want to sing like those like old and Vogue songs.
Speaker 2: All right, well, we need you to send it down.
Speaker 1: And caress the mic.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is the weekend quiet storms, I know right.
Speaker 1: We can say welcome next to grab a mission podka?
Speaker 2: Where is silly? Silly? No one takes us seriously. I
Speaker 2: don't understand why they take us seriously. Well, the weekend
Speaker 2: was good. This is This has been the most Monday
Speaker 2: Monday I've ever had. Like I lost my keys this morning.
Speaker 2: I got into work till like three different fires I
Speaker 2: had to put out. So Monday kicked my butt. But
Speaker 2: the weekend was fine. The weekend was The weekend was
Speaker 2: almost like too chillax, like they were. We were almost
Speaker 2: stressed out by how little we had to do. It's
Speaker 2: been such a hectic past two months of like weddings
Speaker 2: and traveling and you know how it is, and I
Speaker 2: feel like this was the first quiet weekend in about
Speaker 2: two months, and we just were like, what do we
Speaker 2: do with ourselves? Do you want to go see a movie?
Speaker 2: I don't know, that seems like far place. I don't
Speaker 2: feel like it's kind of far to go to a movie. Well,
Speaker 2: let's do Netflix. What are we going to watch? And
Speaker 2: we just it was just it was weird. It was
Speaker 2: creepy weird.
Speaker 1: My weekend was the opposite of to I have not had,
Speaker 1: like I feel like I've just been so like hectic,
Speaker 1: but not even in a bad way, because sometimes there's
Speaker 1: technic and I'm like miserable with it because I'm just like,
Speaker 1: you can't add so overwhelmed. But it's been on so
Speaker 1: much good stuff. So I decided to write. Well, I
Speaker 1: decided a little while ago to do a children's book,
Speaker 1: and now I have almost three, like just out of
Speaker 1: the blue, I just got a surge. So what I
Speaker 1: worked on this weekend is I'm doing a book. I
Speaker 1: really want to highlight brown fathers and their kids, because
Speaker 1: you know, there's that terrible myth that Brown fathers do
Speaker 1: not spend time with their children. But I also want to,
Speaker 1: you know, I want it to be a finance book
Speaker 1: for kids in a way, but something that's age appropriate.
Speaker 1: So I had this amazing photographer that shoots all around
Speaker 1: the world, and somehow I convinced him to bless me
Speaker 1: with his amazing skills. His name is Nima et Sebar.
Speaker 1: And this weekend we shot all of these brown fathers
Speaker 1: inter with their kids. And one of the books is
Speaker 1: called The Cost of a Coney's Day, And a Coney
Speaker 1: is this little nine year old boy who is adorable.
Speaker 1: His father, Vaja, is a friend of mine and they
Speaker 1: hang out on the weekends, and we shot them this
Speaker 1: weekend just like doing what they normally do, taking the train,
Speaker 1: eating pizza, you know, getting a Red Box video, walking
Speaker 1: through the park, you know, skateboarding. And so we're going to,
Speaker 1: like the reader, like whatever little boy or girl is
Speaker 1: going to read this book is going to be able
Speaker 1: to follow a Baja, my friend and his son of
Speaker 1: Coney throughout their day and at different kind of interludes,
Speaker 1: guess how much that activity costs. And on the next
Speaker 1: page it'll say it'll say something like Baja and his
Speaker 1: son a Coney love pizza. Can you guess how much
Speaker 1: a slice of pizza costs? And then the next page
Speaker 1: it'll tell you. So it's like a fun way to
Speaker 1: kind of follow this father and son as they spend time,
Speaker 1: but then also learned about the cost of things. And
Speaker 1: some of the things are free, some cost a little
Speaker 1: bit more, some cost a little less.
Speaker 2: So it'll be like a photo book with photos by
Speaker 2: this guy, not like a cartoon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not like a cartoons. I thought it'd be really dope,
Speaker 1: you know, to show real life father and son and
Speaker 1: to get a photographer that is like a legit photographer,
Speaker 1: because I want to also raise the level of art
Speaker 1: in kids' lives, you know. So it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you're getting this beautiful photography from a world renow photographer,
Speaker 1: but it's in a kid's book, So your four year old,
Speaker 1: you know, gets to be elevated in art as well
Speaker 1: as learn about money and learn that fathers spend time
Speaker 1: with their kids.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 1: I'm excited.
Speaker 2: Thanks for making me feel crappy for my laid back weekend.
Speaker 1: Now, I don't know, it's just it's been Do.
Speaker 2: You want to hear about Jane's virgin.
Speaker 1: I wish but I just been so I have been
Speaker 1: doing like Porsu ran like the other day, like meanwhile,
Speaker 1: I've been home. It's not like, you know, I work
Speaker 1: from home largely. I do have my office now, but
Speaker 1: it's not like we don't see each other like every
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. And the end of the day. He looked
Speaker 1: at me, said, I miss you, and I go que
Speaker 1: bad because it's like I'm here but not here, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I need to get a personal assistant.
Speaker 1: That's what I decided.
Speaker 2: That's why you're aren't you hiring I am.
Speaker 1: I just cannot do this alone like I and not
Speaker 1: like a of course it would be some sort of
Speaker 1: like budget needs to work involved too, but honestly, I
Speaker 1: need someone who I'm like, could you please take this
Speaker 1: to the to the mail for me? You know, could
Speaker 1: you please plick up my dry cleaning? Can you send
Speaker 1: out this invoice? So like a mix between like my
Speaker 1: personal assistant for Tiffany and assistant some assistant stuff for
Speaker 1: the budgetista. But I need someone in person in Jersey,
Speaker 1: like someone you know, who doesn't live far from Newerk,
Speaker 1: who would work with me basically not full full time,
Speaker 1: but basically kind of full time. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it'd be hourly or salary wise, but I've been setting
Speaker 1: inside the money for it because I told myself I'm
Speaker 1: not going to go into twenty seventeen without help, because
Speaker 1: I've just been so overwhelmed because I'm getting the work done,
Speaker 1: but it's suffering like home life. I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: these babies are not going to make themselves.
Speaker 2: It's hard to hire help when you need it, like
Speaker 2: you know, next level help because you have like virtual
Speaker 2: assistance and stuff. But I was at a I was
Speaker 2: got a talk with some female entrepreneurs and someone asked
Speaker 2: her what was the most difficult part of starting a business,
Speaker 2: and she was like, knowing when to hire help, like
Speaker 2: exactly what you're talking.
Speaker 1: About, yeah, because you feel kind of like weird, like girl,
Speaker 1: you don't need somebody to go to the post office
Speaker 1: for you, exactly. And it's not until like I go
Speaker 1: and I run errand and then two hours later, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I did not do the presentation and
Speaker 1: the propos I'm supposed to do because I'm out here
Speaker 1: doing things that you know, I can hire someone to do.
Speaker 1: And so that's what I you know, I'm not giving
Speaker 1: myself any grief over it. I'm hiring and I'm setting aside,
Speaker 1: you know, money for because it's just it has to
Speaker 1: be done, because like I said, if it was just
Speaker 1: me and I was single, I wouldn't need it. But
Speaker 1: if I'm going to make time for my family, then
Speaker 1: I have to get help.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, I am like ninety seven percent sure we're
Speaker 2: gonna have to hire like a maid because I can't.
Speaker 2: I won't do it. I can't. I struggle with it,
Speaker 2: you know, I uh yeah, I I feel like there's
Speaker 2: still a little bit of the expectation. And I do
Speaker 2: live with my mother in law, my future mother in law,
Speaker 2: and I do feel like there's still a little bit
Speaker 2: of an expectation even though you know, we both work
Speaker 2: for me to chip in a little bit differently, like
Speaker 2: in different ways, and uh not that you know fiance
Speaker 2: boo ever sort of you know, has that expectation, like
Speaker 2: you know, he'd never be like you know, I expect
Speaker 2: dinner on the table at seven and this and that
Speaker 2: and this and that. But you know, there's just things
Speaker 2: about me that are never gonna change, Like I'm never
Speaker 2: gonna iron things, I'm never gonna want to make beds
Speaker 2: or like cleaned a bunch of dishes, like and it's
Speaker 2: you know, I feel like I sort of at this
Speaker 2: point when I come home super late, you know, work
Speaker 2: really hard. I you know, why make yourself do it
Speaker 2: if you can, you know, if you worked hard and
Speaker 2: you can afford to have someone sort of help out,
Speaker 2: you know, And it's sort of like, you know, I
Speaker 2: know intellectually that I should be able to get that
Speaker 2: kind of help. But then on the other side, it's like, well,
Speaker 2: you know, why can't I just do it all? Like
Speaker 2: why can't I just handle it, like do the work
Speaker 2: and then come home and just you know, figure it out.
Speaker 2: But I don't even have kids yet, and I'm struggling.
Speaker 2: Like you should see the room moment right now. It
Speaker 2: is embarrassing. It's embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Well, I was like, so, Superman, you're gonna be upstairs
Speaker 1: or you're gonna be downstairs. Okay, so if you're gonna
Speaker 1: be upstairs, don't come down until and I'm just like
Speaker 1: and even then I came home, I'm like, isee dinner.
Speaker 1: He's like yeah, I'm like, I mean he's an adult,
Speaker 1: so you know, he can make food for himself. But
Speaker 1: I'm finding that he's doing more than his fair shared,
Speaker 1: and I always feel guilty, always like it's not even
Speaker 1: the work that's suffering. I'm just like and I'm always
Speaker 1: like on pins needles that he's gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 1: but he never is, which makes me even feel more guilty.
Speaker 2: He's nice, I know, but and I are both ad
Speaker 2: at domestic stuff, so it's like we're like yelling at
Speaker 2: each other, like why don't you make the bed, why
Speaker 2: don't you make the bood? Like making beds well suda white,
Speaker 2: So who's gonna do it?
Speaker 1: He's like meat free, so he's always mopping and mopping.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, son, one thing I won't be doing
Speaker 1: is mopping. I just can't thish is mopping laundry. This
Speaker 1: is I'm like, oh, super bad. I'm sorry. Why nice? Though?
Speaker 2: Nice?
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm like how long before He's like,
Speaker 1: I've had it up to here with you. No, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get it together. And he was like, so
Speaker 1: if you get a personal assistant, well should be doing
Speaker 1: laundry for us. I'm like, don't get don't don't get
Speaker 1: your panties in the bundle. Now that we can hire
Speaker 1: a service like, you know you can pay people to
Speaker 1: pick up your laundry from the house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean at that extra time you have
Speaker 2: on your hands, you can be making money instead of Yeah,
Speaker 2: time is money.
Speaker 1: No, it is, for sure, it's money.
Speaker 2: You want to get in some buzzworthies buzz worthy. Everybody's
Speaker 2: buzz buzz buzzing. So we have to get I guess oh,
Speaker 2: at the top of the show, I wanted to we
Speaker 2: wanted to mention something important because we always forget to
Speaker 2: do call outs at the beginning and to get too excited.
Speaker 1: What now, I said, I forgot. I'm glad you remember.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I had a big fat note in the middle of
Speaker 2: my note saying please say this. So we've been getting
Speaker 2: a lot of questions from you guys, and a lot
Speaker 2: of interest in capital D debt. Everybody's got debt. It's
Speaker 2: that dirty little secret hiding in all of our closets.
Speaker 2: And we want to sort of create some show specific
Speaker 2: around types of debt, and we want more and more questions.
Speaker 2: If you have student loan debt, questions, if you have
Speaker 2: questions about relationships and debt, family and debt. You know,
Speaker 2: we've talked about settling debt before credit debt, all different
Speaker 2: flavors of debt. We want your questions, and you can
Speaker 2: go to broad Ambition podcast dot com and submit your
Speaker 2: questions on the super easy form there and look out
Speaker 2: for the next couple of months. This is holiday seasons
Speaker 2: coming up, so this is gonna be very good time
Speaker 2: how to avoid all that holiday debt and then if
Speaker 2: you know you slip your trip, you're getting a little
Speaker 2: bit of debtor on the holidays. Hopefully it will help
Speaker 2: you with some tools that can carry you into the
Speaker 2: new year and get that debt off youelback.
Speaker 1: Yep, we're here to help you with the d.
Speaker 2: Oh Tiffany, that was the raunchy one. Well, somebody got
Speaker 2: a ring on her finger. That's funny. That's what I'm
Speaker 2: gonna call the show. You gonna help you with the
Speaker 2: d debt?
Speaker 1: I know exactly. Gotta makes me put it.
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, no, I'm really excited because we get so
Speaker 2: many questions and our most popular episodes have been where
Speaker 2: we mentioned debt, and you can never have enough debt
Speaker 2: shows apparently, So we're listening, we're hearing you. Send us
Speaker 2: your questions again. You can go to brown Ambition podcast
Speaker 2: dot com and submit questions there. We read all of
Speaker 2: them and hopefully you will have your question answered on
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 1: Exactly. I got to bring that back. That's the Emmanuel.
Speaker 1: That's my sister's Susan.
Speaker 2: I'm hating that there's no hey, hey hey this week.
Speaker 1: I know you know what I mean. I'm gonna bring
Speaker 1: it out when I feel like it. Don't rush me you, okay.
Speaker 2: I want you to feel it when you feel it,
Speaker 2: want to be forced. I read some I read a
Speaker 2: really kind of depressing headline. I guess it's not so shocking,
Speaker 2: but it's one thing when you kind of know it
Speaker 2: in your mind, but when you read it in print,
Speaker 2: it's different. But this was a study done by the
Speaker 2: Brickings Institute, which is a really renowned research research think tank,
Speaker 2: and they found that they kind of looked at how,
Speaker 2: like everyone knows, student loan debt is a huge issue.
Speaker 2: People graduate with close to thirty thousand dollars in student
Speaker 2: loan debt on average, but when you break it down
Speaker 2: by race, it's pretty shocking to see where that disparity
Speaker 2: gets even bigger when you talk about black students who
Speaker 2: graduate from college versus white students and how much debt
Speaker 2: they have. So the Brookings Institute found are you ready?
Speaker 2: I'm They found that the black white disparity in student
Speaker 2: loan debt more than triples triples. After graduation, Black college
Speaker 2: graduates owe seventy four hundred dollars more on average than
Speaker 2: their white peers twenty three thousand dollars versus only sixteen
Speaker 2: thousand dollars. Over the next two years, though that gap
Speaker 2: more than triples to opping twenty five thousand dollars. They
Speaker 2: say the differences are pretty much attributed to accruing interest
Speaker 2: and the fact that black graduates, Black students in undergrad
Speaker 2: and graduate school are more likely to take out student
Speaker 2: loan debt. Okay, there's less household wealth and so there's
Speaker 2: less help for college expenses. But that kind of blew
Speaker 2: my mind because you know, I mean, I write about
Speaker 2: student loan debt all the time, and you kind of
Speaker 2: write it as if it's this whole thing kind of
Speaker 2: impacting everyone, but not the same, not the same. Like
Speaker 2: so many other issues in personal finance, it gets much
Speaker 2: tougher when you look at it along racial lines. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it just goes to show that people in those communities,
Speaker 2: like we need to the education is so necessary a
Speaker 2: lot more for minority borrowers, it seems, even because the
Speaker 2: debt loads are so huge, and man, when I see
Speaker 2: numbers like that, like seventy four hundred dollars more may
Speaker 2: not sound like a lot, but when you say you're
Speaker 2: paying seven thousand more over twenty five you know year repayment,
Speaker 2: that's a lot of interest. It is in the long
Speaker 2: run that you know, a white graduate is not dealing
Speaker 2: with and that's eating into your earnings for future.
Speaker 1: We should get my my friend Angela, Angela howse She's
Speaker 1: like the walking student loan.
Speaker 2: Encyclopedia every time and where is she at?
Speaker 1: Though? So I'm always like, Angela, we get this stuff
Speaker 1: from this woman. It's like, I'm like, do you just
Speaker 1: like memorize every scholarship student loan opportunity? And I do?
Speaker 1: I do have to like, yeah, well, you know, I
Speaker 1: have the eighty mind of an eight year old, like
Speaker 1: my memory. But I would love to have her on
Speaker 1: because that is the thing that one of what makes
Speaker 1: student loans sometimes a little bit difficult is that the
Speaker 1: laws and the rules and the grants and the scholarships
Speaker 1: are changing constantly. And she keeps uping that she like
Speaker 1: enjoys it, Like, you know, she started just helping her
Speaker 1: kids and then her kids friends, and then it grew
Speaker 1: and then on top of that, you know, she knows
Speaker 1: how to break it down. And I'm like, oh, so, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna we should have her on because she's just
Speaker 1: I'm always like, Angela, You're like the rain man of
Speaker 1: student loan that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm curious because at the I mean, it's it's
Speaker 2: i mean, once you have the debt, it's it's the debt,
Speaker 2: like it's there. It's hard to like get rid of it.
Speaker 2: It's more just like the education to know how to
Speaker 2: manage it, you know. And when you think about black
Speaker 2: African American graduates having more debt than other racial groups,
Speaker 2: I mean you also have to think about the fact
Speaker 2: that we tend to earn less than other groups too,
Speaker 2: So it's like, let lower earnings plus more debt equals
Speaker 2: hello how like and rising costs every other area. So
Speaker 2: it's it's a it's a struggle.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, if you have student loan done questions, maybe
Speaker 2: we can have angelin for the student loan debt episode.
Speaker 1: I would love that, like, send in your student loan
Speaker 1: debt questions because we you know, we can definitely have on.
Speaker 1: I know she'd loved it.
Speaker 2: Because we've been hearing about her for weeks. I know
Speaker 2: the people have questions.
Speaker 1: So if you really would like for Angela to come on,
Speaker 1: ask your like, you know, flutter inbox with your questions
Speaker 1: podcast dot com dot com.
Speaker 2: Well we just we just flipped rolls just then.
Speaker 1: I know, because you only did you did my dot
Speaker 1: It's so crazy now because I don't have to remember
Speaker 1: like our Twitter, our Facebook, our email. Everything is at
Speaker 1: Brown Ambition podcast dot com.
Speaker 2: A utiful new website, freshly signed I love it by
Speaker 2: the lovely Terry Lee Tarry. Terry Lee Taylor. Sorry, Terry Girl,
Speaker 2: My bad. You know we haven't discussed though, is uh
Speaker 2: the dress that broke the internet?
Speaker 1: Who?
Speaker 2: Michelle, Yes girl, Michelle Obama. Yeah, I was just going
Speaker 2: to dinner. Yeah, so she thought she would throw on
Speaker 2: MultiPark number a rose gold chain mail Versace Wait it
Speaker 2: was Versace right, Versace evening gown just to go to dinner.
Speaker 2: Basically wearing my dream wedding dress just to go to dinner.
Speaker 1: Just done on you.
Speaker 2: She couldn't if they had just like gotten on Air
Speaker 2: Force one and just like left the country like sorry,
Speaker 2: eight years up by leave, taking a year, taking a
Speaker 2: month off early. That would have been the perfect moment,
Speaker 2: just like Mike drop on this presidency because they will
Speaker 2: never be another first family like this one.
Speaker 1: Now ever, ever, ever.
Speaker 2: Ever, classy sexy.
Speaker 1: Yes, I said it, yes, because first of all, when
Speaker 1: Schaelle turned around, I said, if you don't give us
Speaker 1: that bottom, get it to these yams. You see it.
Speaker 1: This is Chicago bull.
Speaker 2: This is from the first time her butt, her dairy,
Speaker 2: and her assets have been talked about. Remember that what
Speaker 2: was the photo? She was it essence, where like her
Speaker 2: butt became.
Speaker 1: A meme because it was the shadow, the shadow that
Speaker 1: her behind cast just put out the sun. For a minute,
Speaker 1: we were like, hold on, Michelle, we forget that Michelle.
Speaker 1: Michelle is full fledged African American. All of them, like,
Speaker 1: you know, like her ancestors are resting in those jams.
Speaker 1: I said, Okay, I've never heard then called yam.
Speaker 2: You never heard them called no damn?
Speaker 1: Well that no, I mean the internets have been calling
Speaker 1: them the games. I'm like, I think that's what it's down. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so she is just I mean, honestly, she's
Speaker 1: just a beautiful woman, and I just I mean, she's
Speaker 1: got a beautiful body. Speaking of which, this morning, I
Speaker 1: woke up and I took a look at my stomach
Speaker 1: and I said, enough enough, I need to get that Manny.
Speaker 1: What happened to your voice?
Speaker 2: What happened to your trainer? I thought you were seeing
Speaker 2: a trainer.
Speaker 1: I was, and then LIKEE got in the way and
Speaker 1: your life. I remember this, and then it was like
Speaker 1: one week happened and then the next week I skip
Speaker 1: it the next time before I knew it, I just
Speaker 1: watched her on the Instagram training everybody out, and I'm like.
Speaker 2: That awkward X who you kind of like still follow
Speaker 2: on Instagram, but you hope they don't like know your following.
Speaker 1: I know she's like, I'm like, I hope that she's
Speaker 1: not looking at my pictures, like look look at him,
Speaker 1: for she done lost all the progress I put on.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I call my friend Vodja this morning,
Speaker 1: who's like super health not and I was like, WATCHA
Speaker 1: tell me what to eat for breakfast, lunching, dinner, and
Speaker 1: he did. And so I went to food shopping and
Speaker 1: I got myself just like together, and I mean, I
Speaker 1: know what to eat and I just said I can't.
Speaker 1: So today, actually it was a really good day. I
Speaker 1: did not cheat today. I actually enjoyed what I ate,
Speaker 1: but I did not, you know, do what I know
Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to do. And so I'm gonna really
Speaker 1: try to stick to it because I just I don't
Speaker 1: like looking in the mirror and being like, what what
Speaker 1: is that?
Speaker 2: Till you start wedding dress shopping? My god, I think
Speaker 2: I put on weight because I've been so depressed because
Speaker 2: wedding dress shopping has been such a nightmare. Have you
Speaker 2: heard what I want to say when you mentioned the
Speaker 2: health thing? Have you heard about the four burners theory?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: So the thing is the four burner theory is that
Speaker 2: in order to be successful, you have to cut off
Speaker 2: one of your four burners. So the burners are one's family,
Speaker 2: one's friends, one's health, and one is work. So at
Speaker 2: any given moment, you kind of have to be juggling
Speaker 2: and you're always sort of like letting one slide in
Speaker 2: order to like do well at the other ones. And
Speaker 2: if you really want to be super successful, you have
Speaker 2: to cut off two burners. It's hard to have all
Speaker 2: four burners going strong at one time.
Speaker 1: It is it's somebody wrote under my picture because I
Speaker 1: had posted about like the book I told you all
Speaker 1: the children's book, and someone was like, Tiffany, and congratulations
Speaker 1: on your engagement. You are just proved you can have
Speaker 1: it all.
Speaker 3: And I look behind me, lying who listen to the podcast,
Speaker 3: I'm like, girl, go people buy these pictures are on
Speaker 3: social media that I think Oprah said you can have
Speaker 3: it all, but not at the same time, and that's
Speaker 3: exactly how I feel, like, girl today, this is something good,
Speaker 3: but know.
Speaker 1: That you know, although I'm definitely grateful and I'm happy,
Speaker 1: I can honestly say I'm genuinely happy, but I also
Speaker 1: live in a perpetual state of overwhelmed. Like if you
Speaker 1: like on the I was maybe we were talking about
Speaker 1: earlier that I have a fertilez What is it called,
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to get regulation. Yeah, it's an ovulation app.
Speaker 1: And every day I have to put in like you know,
Speaker 1: how much I weigh? What did I eat? And then
Speaker 1: always ask how do you feel? And I'm like, let's
Speaker 1: go go, go right ahead to overwhelmed everything every single day,
Speaker 1: because I mean, you could choose that it might even
Speaker 1: like it even asked you feel in love to you,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, I feel happy in love. Where's overwhelmed?
Speaker 1: So there's no I don't know that. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that you can't have it and what does
Speaker 1: even having it all mean? But just know that don't
Speaker 1: be fooled by the Instagram pics. I mean, I I'm overwhelmed, Like.
Speaker 2: Why don't you post a picture of that that screenshot
Speaker 2: of that app? Then vulating and I'm overwhelmed people hashtag fertilization,
Speaker 2: hashtag motherhood, hashtag.
Speaker 1: I love the app. It's free. It's called oh v
Speaker 1: ohv I a fertility and I love this app. And
Speaker 1: so if you're looking for free like you know, ovulation app,
Speaker 1: and I highly record, well.
Speaker 2: Since you're clearly telling the people that you're trying right now,
Speaker 2: people have fertilized fertility tips, do you want some fertility tips?
Speaker 1: I honestly I would really love that. Like you know,
Speaker 1: now that I'm engaged and stuff about that have a husband,
Speaker 1: you cannot judge me about purposely trying to get pregnant.
Speaker 1: But yes, I would love some fertility So I'm thirty seven.
Speaker 1: Just so we're like, you know, we're all on the
Speaker 1: same age I'm a little older than your average bear.
Speaker 1: I don't drink, I don't smoke. I am eating better.
Speaker 1: I mean I was never a crazy terrible eater. I'm
Speaker 1: not like overweight. I mean I'm a little sick and
Speaker 1: I got up the Michelle Obama yams. But my natural
Speaker 1: frame is like really kind of like on the slimmer side.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so if you have any tips and tricks and.
Speaker 2: Whatever that's for acupuncture work, let me just throw my
Speaker 2: two cents in my my birth controlling non baby having
Speaker 2: mom's two cents. I did some giggling.
Speaker 1: I can't sure more children. Everybody else, girl by, tell
Speaker 1: me what have been those be with our kids? Trying
Speaker 1: to give me what you need to do is now
Speaker 1: I need somebody who has clearly is working.
Speaker 2: You're just depressing though. My cousin's thirty five and they
Speaker 2: say that over What is the age is it where
Speaker 2: you're your there's there's a cutoff. It's like mid thirties
Speaker 2: where they call you a geriatric pregnancy. What Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I kidding, I'm sorry, Yeah it's true. She was like
Speaker 2: thirty five. She's like, yeah, this is considered a geriatric pregnancy.
Speaker 1: I mean whatever, man like I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: like I've been reasonably healthy my whole life, like I
Speaker 1: don't know, suffer from any major illnesses like diabetes.
Speaker 2: Look at Janet, That's all I'm gonna say. Look at Janet.
Speaker 1: I know, but clearly Janet hired all the doctors, are you.
Speaker 2: I think it's funny how every celebrity who's like over
Speaker 2: forty has twins and they never talk about having it having.
Speaker 1: Clearly.
Speaker 2: Clearly celebrities just have twins, no exactly.
Speaker 1: And so that's why I mean, I told myself, you know,
Speaker 1: we're gonna try naturally for like, you know, six months
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then if it seems like it's not
Speaker 1: really like you know, half it six to eight months,
Speaker 1: and that's the road that I'm willing to go down.
Speaker 1: So you if you, if you had to VICHA, I
Speaker 1: love to hear your you know your feelings. I mean,
Speaker 1: I haven't. I'm not even gonna lie. I need to
Speaker 1: like go to my doctor and to be like, so
Speaker 1: is this even possible? Could you just look at my
Speaker 1: body and just let me know.
Speaker 2: Have you not been to the doctor yet? So no,
Speaker 2: I have We can't be soliciting brown ambition listeners when
Speaker 2: you haven't been to your own doctor yet. Get thee
Speaker 2: to the doctor.
Speaker 1: No, mean, well, I'm like I need to go for
Speaker 1: that's what.
Speaker 2: You're like going all in. So here's my way. Here's
Speaker 2: my blood tide. You can just skip the skip the
Speaker 2: brown ambition. Here's my email address. Girl, your friend speaking,
Speaker 2: go to the doctor.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going to go to the doctor and my.
Speaker 2: Annual I need my annual checkup too. For the guy. Now,
Speaker 2: I need a book that yeah, yeah, they should give
Speaker 2: out lollipops. I feel like because it's awful. Yeah, a lot,
Speaker 2: but I hate the experience of going.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I remember that I had one guy
Speaker 1: in a college I actually kind of like that. I
Speaker 1: didn't feel weird and odin know he was a dude,
Speaker 1: which you.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't think that you a man guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it was weird, Like it wasn't he was
Speaker 1: so I don't know, like his demeanor was just he
Speaker 1: had the best bedside manner. So it didn't feel awkward,
Speaker 1: like here's this guy down there, Like he was very
Speaker 1: professional and he was my favorite, like I've had I
Speaker 1: had only women, but a friend of mine was like, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: he's amazing. You have to he was an older guy,
Speaker 1: and I did and he was great.
Speaker 2: Honestly, Oh so do you still is he still your doctor?
Speaker 1: Well, like just last year, I finally got official insurance,
Speaker 1: so we'll see set that in.
Speaker 2: Let me be yeah, let me be the the the
Speaker 2: what do you call it? Not the bearer of bad news.
Speaker 2: I was the guinea pig. Yeah, check your insurance first.
Speaker 1: I know. That's why I'm just like, I don't even
Speaker 1: know if he's still on me. I mean, I've had
Speaker 1: like my regular checkup, but I have to go see
Speaker 1: my guy. Now. I know. You got to get a
Speaker 1: lot of TM.
Speaker 2: That's what they came for. It is a real life situation, okay, because.
Speaker 1: You know in six months when I'm like, see you
Speaker 1: guys followed me through the journey to the ring. Now yay,
Speaker 1: we're all here. Now we're gonna go through the journey
Speaker 1: to you know, I don't know how this whole wedding
Speaker 1: thing is gonna happen. And I'm like, let's just go
Speaker 1: to Jesse with the piece, but follow me to the
Speaker 1: journey for the baby, because honestly, the wedding part I'd
Speaker 1: rather we're actually he's looking to buy a house. Uh
Speaker 1: A four family or three family house. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: let's put the wedding money toward that instead.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, that'd be smart.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're a spring chicken, so you know you
Speaker 1: can do all the whole big wedding thing. I just
Speaker 1: don't really want it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't think that gives me an excuse.
Speaker 2: It's still fills really stupid. Really like everything kind of
Speaker 2: just feels dumb, but then it also kind of feels fun,
Speaker 2: and then it's just like conflicting. I'm like, this is stupid,
Speaker 2: but I want it. This is stupid, but it'd be fun.
Speaker 2: But this is like, come on, you can buy a house.
Speaker 2: I don't know what. I want to have chicken and
Speaker 2: waffles as an appetizer, though it's crazy. I really just
Speaker 2: want mini chicken and waffles because everything else just sounds
Speaker 2: the lame. And then you gotta have the you gotta
Speaker 2: get the trolleys. I mean, we're having a Savanna wedding.
Speaker 2: You gotta get a trolley to take everyone to the venue.
Speaker 2: It's only one hundred and seventy five dollars an hour.
Speaker 2: I'm going insane. It's it's like a slippery slope. But
Speaker 2: the good thing. You know that I've said along, I've
Speaker 2: been saving for this for many years. It is not
Speaker 2: like we're not going to be in debt for this wedding.
Speaker 2: And part of me just kind of feels like, let's
Speaker 2: just give us the let's just have a nice I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna I sound crazy because it's like you have
Speaker 2: these like back and forth in your mind, like like
Speaker 2: you can't be doing this, but you're only gonna have
Speaker 2: your family together like this once, so you gotta go
Speaker 2: bigger bo, go home. But come on, it's just a wedding,
Speaker 2: but you're bringing them out of Georgia. You gotta give
Speaker 2: them a party, like no one even drinks that month.
Speaker 2: But if you don't get an open bar, we wanted
Speaker 2: to talk about you on your back afterward.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they will like this. The other day, Superman was like, man,
Speaker 1: we got to go to my friend's winning. It's a
Speaker 1: cash bar. We were both like snickering, like cash.
Speaker 2: Bar, see my bag. Rude, you have too many burners
Speaker 2: on right now, your fifth blowners your cell phone. That's
Speaker 2: true though, I went to a wedding. Well, I went
Speaker 2: to a wedding recently and it was four hours. Wait
Speaker 2: for yeah, four hours open bar, but then it turned
Speaker 2: to cash bar after night. I thought that was fine
Speaker 2: because honestly, you don't people drinking for five hours anyway
Speaker 2: just get sloppy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah it does, and you just don't want people fighting.
Speaker 2: I know, weddings in New York. Bless your hearts. I'm
Speaker 2: so whid We're getting married in Georgia. Okay, well, sorry
Speaker 2: ours our highly personal buzzworthy. I'm sorry, not sorry, not sorry.
Speaker 2: All right, let's move on to boost in and breaking.
Speaker 1: All right, do you want.
Speaker 2: To go first?
Speaker 1: Yes? This week, I would like.
Speaker 2: To make a lot of noise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that is super man. I'm like, what are
Speaker 1: you jumping on the bed?
Speaker 2: Lord?
Speaker 1: Is he?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: But go upstairs and be quiet. So this this week
Speaker 1: I would like to boost and I would like to
Speaker 1: boost the black flobers just because it was so nice
Speaker 1: like this weekend, it was like a love fest of
Speaker 1: going to uh because we didn't just take pictures of
Speaker 1: black friend Baja and his son. We did like seven
Speaker 1: other fathers and it was just so interesting and beautiful
Speaker 1: to see each father interact with his own child differently.
Speaker 1: So we went to each father's either home or place
Speaker 1: where they liked to hang out with their kid, and
Speaker 1: like kids were as young as one years old up
Speaker 1: to ten, and so it was just so awesome to see, like,
Speaker 1: you know, especially once they forgot that the camera is there.
Speaker 1: Like one father, he and his son have this whole routine.
Speaker 1: They watch football on Sundays and they put on their
Speaker 1: jerseys and they throw the football around the living room
Speaker 1: and mom makes like you know, like whatever, fun food
Speaker 1: and just to see them talking and it was so weird,
Speaker 1: because not weird, but it was so awesome because his
Speaker 1: father used fantasy football to teach his son. His father's
Speaker 1: an engineer, to teach his son next level mask and
Speaker 1: so it was just yeah, so it was just awesome.
Speaker 1: And then to see my best friend Drina and then
Speaker 1: her son, who my god son. His son is like
Speaker 1: one and like her dreams or her son Gabe. His
Speaker 1: father Keith is like super cool and chill, you know,
Speaker 1: like he's one of these like cool cats. And just
Speaker 1: to see like, uh them put on like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like some dance music for Gabe and gave to be
Speaker 1: dancing and like Keith like indulging him, like you know,
Speaker 1: like because normally he's like yeah, you know, I'm just
Speaker 1: so here cool, and he was like shaking his booty's
Speaker 1: like come on, dad, you know and one but it
Speaker 1: was just honestly, it was just beautiful to see and
Speaker 1: I'm glad I got to capture it. And so I
Speaker 1: just want to give a boost to brown and black
Speaker 1: fathers and their love for their children and how they
Speaker 1: expressed it uniquely but equally beautifully.
Speaker 2: I need to call my dad now. I haven't talked
Speaker 2: to him in a week. I'm terrible. He probably like,
Speaker 2: I needn't take a brown break from an ungrateful daughter
Speaker 2: who never calls me. But I send him bit moojis.
Speaker 2: He loves them. He loves a bit moji. Plus it
Speaker 2: saves time, so many emotions one picture. It's terrible. I
Speaker 2: have a lot of burners, okay, but that Moji helps.
Speaker 1: What are you doing? You break it? You boosted? I was.
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna do a break because I just
Speaker 2: bought my holiday plane tickets and I just feel like
Speaker 2: the airlines just take advantage of people who want to
Speaker 2: spend Christmas with their mothers in Wisconsin. Okay I can't.
Speaker 2: And I think also it's like the cost they don't
Speaker 2: no one tells you like, so when you're in a relationship,
Speaker 2: you're paying for two all of a sudden, like because
Speaker 2: your money is being mingled, and like you're picking up
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff. The way our budget's working now
Speaker 2: is you know, I'm picking up a lot of stuff,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, everything is double. It's like nine hundred
Speaker 2: dollars for tickets home for Christmas.
Speaker 1: Oof.
Speaker 2: But then I just tell myself, you know, I struggle
Speaker 2: with the cost. But then I tell myself, like last
Speaker 2: Christmas when I didn't go home, I was miserable. I
Speaker 2: remember miserable, like so depressed. Oh yeah, I think I
Speaker 2: had some sad podcast episodes. So I just like, it's
Speaker 2: the it's the happiness, it's the experience. You need to go.
Speaker 2: I need to be with my mother. I'm not a
Speaker 2: happy camper without her at the holiday time. So it's
Speaker 2: money well spent. But it hurts. It hurts. The pain
Speaker 2: is real. But this is also a public service announcement.
Speaker 2: If you've been putting off your holiday travel the next
Speaker 2: couple of weeks, it's the time to do it. With
Speaker 2: the holidays, you typically want to buy your tickets eight
Speaker 2: to six weeks out. We're all sales prices go up
Speaker 2: by huge amounts.
Speaker 1: Ticket to New Orleans from speaking in December, and I
Speaker 1: was like, it was actually pretty decent. I think I
Speaker 1: paid two fifty. But for Christmas, No, it's like December fifth.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's not helpful. I mean it's expensive. I went
Speaker 2: home on December fourteenth.
Speaker 1: We're going to do Yeah.
Speaker 2: I went home last year for my sister's wedding in October.
Speaker 2: It was two fifty. I can't believe it. Tickets are like,
Speaker 2: we're over four hundred. Do you know what got me? Though?
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, So here's a little thing about buying
Speaker 2: two tickets at once. So originally, when I was looking
Speaker 2: for prices, I was looking for one passenger and I
Speaker 2: found a flight for like I think it was three
Speaker 2: point thirty for the flight that I needed, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I forgot to put two passengers. As
Speaker 2: soon as they changed it to two, the ticket price
Speaker 2: went up and I couldn't Yeah, I couldn't figure out why.
Speaker 2: Like when I put it when I had two passengers selected,
Speaker 2: the little error message was like one seat remaining, and
Speaker 2: I was like, what is happening? And I was worried
Speaker 2: that there was only one seat left from this flight. No,
Speaker 2: there's only one seat left at the affordable price point.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: For some reason, it's like they have different tiers of prices.
Speaker 2: So as soon as I had two people, we were
Speaker 2: bumped up to the next level and it was like
Speaker 2: almost four hundred dollars, and then it definitely was over
Speaker 2: four hundred when you factor in taxis, and then I bought.
Speaker 2: I kicked in twelve dollars for the comfortable seats because
Speaker 2: it's a long flight and you know, honey Booboo has
Speaker 2: long legs, so I get in the aisle seat. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's always nickel and diming. It drives me nuts. So yeah,
Speaker 2: all and it was like nine hundred bucks.
Speaker 1: Dang. I maybe you were like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: So yeah, this year, I'm like, Dad, you gotta you
Speaker 2: come see me after New Year's cause it's hard to
Speaker 2: I feel for anyone out there who has parents who
Speaker 2: are divorced and live in different states, because you know,
Speaker 2: I used to. I tried for a couple of years
Speaker 2: when my mom moved to Wisconsin to uh do the
Speaker 2: whole you know, first off fly to Wisconsin, and then
Speaker 2: if fly back to Atlanta, and then off fly to
Speaker 2: New York and it's just it's way too much, not
Speaker 2: just financially, but just you know, mentally. So and now
Speaker 2: I have a third family with a.
Speaker 1: Hey know they you know that's one thing. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, my his family and my family, they just
Speaker 1: twenty minutes apart. Most of us live in New Jersey.
Speaker 1: So it's like, well then I drive too much for
Speaker 1: then we drive to Newark.
Speaker 2: That sounds nice. So yeah, it's so easy, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: and like so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it to It'll be interesting though this year,
Speaker 1: like how we're gonna do it, like, because this will
Speaker 1: be the year where it's like, you know, usually I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: i'll see you later, you know, like I will say this.
Speaker 1: He spent like maybe like an hour or so with
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving with my family and then went to go with
Speaker 1: his family and then I met him there there later.
Speaker 1: But it'll be interesting. That's just like official, like, so
Speaker 1: what are we doing for the holidays? Like? Am I
Speaker 1: making Thanksgiving dinner? You know who? I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's like you have to create a new sort of
Speaker 2: family schedule or I don't know, like a family dynamic
Speaker 2: around the holiday as you get older.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that'll be. I mean, I kind of feel
Speaker 1: like I don't want to make Thanksgiving there until we
Speaker 1: actually get like our house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know where we're going for Thanksgiving. That's
Speaker 2: not a hint. I'm just saying out loud.
Speaker 1: No, Like I'm just I don't know either, Like I well,
Speaker 1: usually my parents are like, hey, my mom will just
Speaker 1: spend like a little backsick in a while. Okay, we're
Speaker 1: spending Thanksgiving. We like, we rotate aunts and uncle's houses.
Speaker 1: So we're spending Thanksgiving and such and such. Child, we're
Speaker 1: spending you know, and it might be our time this year,
Speaker 1: or it might be another aunt. I think last year
Speaker 1: is my sister's house. Caw, that was really nice.
Speaker 2: That's nice, but you used to do that mm hmm.
Speaker 2: This is the Yeah, Thanksgiving is my favorite, one of
Speaker 2: my favorite holidays.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean too actually because it's honestly it's one
Speaker 1: of the few times that we well we get together
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's just about the food. That's why
Speaker 2: I like it so much. There's no presence or like anything.
Speaker 2: It's just the food, like just let's have like, let's
Speaker 2: have no qualms or be you know about what we're
Speaker 2: here for everyone's here for the food to get as
Speaker 2: full as they possibly can and to sit around and digest.
Speaker 1: Yes, and just like I actually dressed for the food.
Speaker 1: Do you do that for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, don't wear tight tights?
Speaker 1: Nope. I'm like, oh, so what can I wear that's
Speaker 1: gonna allow my stomach to fully No jeans? No jeans,
Speaker 1: I got that's the work gee, especially with a belt.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, If anything were stretchy jeggings, I might
Speaker 2: wear some jeggings.
Speaker 1: Or like a really like a big sweater to cover
Speaker 1: the whole, you know, shame of the pregnant like looking belly,
Speaker 1: or yeah, like a shift kind of dress, like you
Speaker 1: know when those dress you could just throw on. It's
Speaker 1: really lose, that's true.
Speaker 2: But if it's cool, you gotta wear tights with that though.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 2: You gotta strategize. These are the I have the same
Speaker 2: conversations in my head and that's funny. But can I eat?
Speaker 2: But can I like eat in this dress? I look good,
Speaker 2: but can I eat it.
Speaker 1: Pushed through? Or am I gonna be like I hate
Speaker 1: that fake sucking thing that you have to do sometimes
Speaker 1: where you're like, well, in my family I don't. I wouldn't,
Speaker 1: but like if I were a dress someplace, then I
Speaker 1: know it's gonna be good food. I'm like, wait, but
Speaker 1: after I'm gonna have to like hold it the whole
Speaker 1: time I speak the strangers so they're not like, what
Speaker 1: the hell is she bright? Now, I'm just chunky.
Speaker 2: Happening is a month away. I can't believe it all right,
Speaker 2: So yeah, I gotta get I got I got to
Speaker 2: get to my fitness grind.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But like you know, like my relaxing on the floor, yeo,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you ain't. You ain't go a little muscle
Speaker 1: out here. I don't know why I'm gon today.
Speaker 2: I have been to two I won. This is kind
Speaker 2: of embarrassing, but I did go to a wedding conference.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna call it that. It was a conference.
Speaker 2: I won some tickets quote unquote to a New York
Speaker 2: magazine wedding salon more like a conference last last winter.
Speaker 2: And I at this at the thing. I want to
Speaker 2: raffle for these pure bar classes. If you heard a purebar,
Speaker 2: it's that really trendy like class where it's like ballet,
Speaker 2: but it's really frickin' hard. You want to kill yourself
Speaker 2: and everyone there is like a size negative zero and
Speaker 2: they're different shades of blonde, and I had some preconceived notions.
Speaker 2: I've been kind of like fearing going to this pure
Speaker 2: bar like cause it's it's like it's like flywheel or
Speaker 2: what are like the really the cult exercises. Everyone is
Speaker 2: like obsessed with it, and it's really expensive. It's like
Speaker 2: forty dollars a class, so it already tells you, like
Speaker 2: what kind of people are going there. So it's like, anyway,
Speaker 2: I had all these kind of stereotypes for who I
Speaker 2: was going to run into, and yes, they were there,
Speaker 2: the Becky's were there, but you know it wasn't. I mean,
Speaker 2: the class itself was hord Like I my butt has
Speaker 2: been in so many different types of spasms since the
Speaker 2: two classes I went to. It's incredible what you can
Speaker 2: do with like a little tiny rubber ball and like
Speaker 2: a ballet bar. It's it's it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: That sounds crew.
Speaker 2: Oh it hurts, Like do you think you have upper
Speaker 2: body I mean lower body strength? Nope, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: but yeah. I went to two classes and then I
Speaker 2: started going to zoomba in my building at the office
Speaker 2: trying to get back in it, but yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 2: It's I almost feel like now that it's winter, it
Speaker 2: gets even tougher because no one wants to leave the
Speaker 2: house to be active in the winter.
Speaker 1: Yeah nobody, I mean yeah. So, like I totally canceled
Speaker 1: my ship membership. So I was like, honestly, you have
Speaker 1: not been in here in months on months and months
Speaker 1: and months, like at least six months, So what are
Speaker 1: we doing expending this twenty bucks a month?
Speaker 2: That's the trap. But I feel like I was only
Speaker 2: twenty now that's not so bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but still twenty dollars of using like not using it,
Speaker 1: So what am I doing?
Speaker 2: That's true, it's almost not enough to make you want
Speaker 2: to go, Like, it's only twenty dollars, so it's.
Speaker 1: You know, that's a really smart marketing policy, though they're
Speaker 1: like they know eighty percent of people like I. For like,
Speaker 1: I think Christmas last year, I bought a gym membership
Speaker 1: for me. I got like the premium at twenty bucks,
Speaker 1: and I got one for Superman. His was ten bucks
Speaker 1: and he literally's gone once was.
Speaker 2: Playing that fitness yes, And I was really heard to
Speaker 2: cancel notoriously.
Speaker 1: Really I hate you what I cancel? All they said
Speaker 1: was you want to cancel? You know, where's your I
Speaker 1: had to send show them my my license and that
Speaker 1: was it.
Speaker 2: You're kidding. My friend had to send a letter to
Speaker 2: their headquarters in Arizona or something.
Speaker 1: Oh they they and then today he just canceled his
Speaker 1: I was like, bait, go cancel. I'm paying ten bucks
Speaker 1: a months for nothing. It's ten bucks a buncks. But
Speaker 1: you never go. So he went and he same thing.
Speaker 1: They easily let him cancel. Wow. I had heard that too,
Speaker 1: but they didn't give me any trouble. And I just
Speaker 1: looked I was in charge.
Speaker 2: So maybe it's like a per Maybe every it's kind
Speaker 2: of like a franchise, right, so every like location is
Speaker 2: a little bit different. That's good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's true. And plus i'd heard when I
Speaker 1: signed up. I remember asking, you know what, how do
Speaker 1: you cancel? Because I did hear some people say you
Speaker 1: have to set a letter, And in my contract it
Speaker 1: says that you don't. You really have to come in
Speaker 1: and make your request and then thirty days later or
Speaker 1: something like that it goes for or something to that effect.
Speaker 1: Good to know, all right, any questions, hey, listeners, yes.
Speaker 2: Can you set that up a little better though, so
Speaker 2: I could edit it.
Speaker 1: So we are coming to the question portion of the
Speaker 1: Brown Ambition Podcast. So if you have questions from Mandy
Speaker 1: and myself, please ask them at Brown Ambition podcast dot com.
Speaker 1: You can tweet us there, you can message us there,
Speaker 1: you can listen some more. But we'd love your questions. So,
Speaker 1: do we have any awesome, juicy questions today, Mandy?
Speaker 2: We do. This is a career quest es. It's I
Speaker 2: feel this woman's pay on a cute level. I've been
Speaker 2: there before. Let's just call her D. So D says,
Speaker 2: I listen to you guys every Tuesday, and it's been
Speaker 2: like hanging with girlfriends. All Hey, D, you're our girlfriend too.
Speaker 2: And then it goes downhill from there. Jesus, She says,
Speaker 2: I have recently changed jobs and now work for a
Speaker 2: company that is very stable. Many of the people have
Speaker 2: been there for over twenty years. I work in finance. However,
Speaker 2: I work for a boss now that is so dismissive.
Speaker 2: I can never ask her anything without her saying I
Speaker 2: don't know what you're talking about or where are you
Speaker 2: going with this? It is so dismissive. She's a type
Speaker 2: of person who has to determine if a person's on
Speaker 2: her level intellectually in order for her to think that
Speaker 2: person has value. I've worked in finance for over twenty years. However,
Speaker 2: I'm at a job now that I am truly miserable.
Speaker 2: It is an environment where everyone has an office and
Speaker 2: most of the time they sit in their office with
Speaker 2: the door closed. I'm used to a lot of interaction.
Speaker 2: I'm miserable. She says, I'm miserable three more times. Although
Speaker 2: this is a good company to work for at age
Speaker 2: forty eight, I hate to think that this is my
Speaker 2: last job. I lost a job and I was out
Speaker 2: of work for the first time for a while before
Speaker 2: I found this one. I'm grateful, However, I'm not happy.
Speaker 2: I hate the work that I'm doing, and there are
Speaker 2: a total of three black people in this corporate office.
Speaker 2: What advice would you give me, d ah dug. Before
Speaker 2: the advice, I give you a big fatglass of wine.
Speaker 2: D Cabernet sangnon.
Speaker 1: So one, you are a young woman still forty eight
Speaker 1: to stay someplace and be like, oh, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: work here, so the end that does not have to
Speaker 1: be so. Although I can see why you'd be afraid
Speaker 1: because it took you a long time to find this job,
Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean that you can't find another. I'm
Speaker 1: not suggesting that you quit, you know, and then look
Speaker 1: for a job, but I am suggested that you look
Speaker 1: for another job.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you have the benefit at this point
Speaker 2: of having a job while you look for a job,
Speaker 2: So I would take advantage of that. Sure, And sometimes
Speaker 2: it can give you like a little bit of bulliancy
Speaker 2: to know that you're looking and that something else good
Speaker 2: might be around the corner, to kind of give you
Speaker 2: that little bit extra, like help you deal with the
Speaker 2: bs at the office a little bit better than maybe
Speaker 2: you would if there wasn't anything else coming around the
Speaker 2: corner potentially.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no since here, So I'll give them to gavel.
Speaker 1: So one of my sisters, like my real life blood sister,
Speaker 1: she would have written that email to me like two
Speaker 1: years ago. I mean, she was miserable. Her boss was dismissive,
Speaker 1: her boss was like kind of like a bully. She
Speaker 1: was miserable. I mean she I don't think I've ever
Speaker 1: seen her cry as a kid, And all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: she's calling me on the phone crying I'm like, who
Speaker 1: is this person. She's not the emotion like I'm the
Speaker 1: emotional one, not her at all. So for her to
Speaker 1: cry was like a big deal. It was to the
Speaker 1: point where, like she was, she was having anxiety attacks
Speaker 1: and she never had anxiety attacks. Her hand would shake
Speaker 1: when she was at the computer. I mean, it was
Speaker 1: really bad and she was so unhappy. And it took
Speaker 1: me a year of coaching her to leave because it
Speaker 1: was the only job. It was her first job out
Speaker 1: of college. She had been there for, like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: over ten years, and she was just like, I thought
Speaker 1: this was going to be like my forever job. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, but it's making you sick, it's making you miserable.
Speaker 1: She's like, but I don't know how to do anything else.
Speaker 1: So she was afraid.
Speaker 2: Ten years is a long time.
Speaker 1: It is, you know, especially especially that's your only real
Speaker 1: professional job.
Speaker 2: Experience, you know, miserable the whole time.
Speaker 1: Well, no, she wasn't miserable the whole time. She was
Speaker 1: miserable because she I guess in corporate America they have groups,
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm not super familiar with I've never
Speaker 1: worked in corporate America. But she was with one group,
Speaker 1: like sometimes there's companies within the company. So she was
Speaker 1: with one side before and then they moved her to
Speaker 1: another group and she didn't even want to move. And
Speaker 1: I remember her asking me there, She's like, they wanted
Speaker 1: to move me to this new group. I don't want
Speaker 1: to go. I said, we'll say no. She's like, you
Speaker 1: really don't kind of say no to this kind of switch.
Speaker 1: I said, well, it's it's it a like upward move
Speaker 1: backward move. She's like, it's a lateral move. So they
Speaker 1: moved her, and she was miserable for about probably like
Speaker 1: two years, i'd say. So she ended up having to
Speaker 1: like really just leave, and she had money saved and like,
Speaker 1: you know, un aployment coming, and I'm not suggesting that
Speaker 1: for you, but it had gotten really really bad for her,
Speaker 1: and so and so she left. And she always, always, always,
Speaker 1: she's the one who buys, like all my budget needs
Speaker 1: to clothes for me, like shots for them, because she's
Speaker 1: always super well dropped. I'm like such a slob and
Speaker 1: I'm like such a conboy. But if you like, have
Speaker 1: you ever see me like all dressed up looking all
Speaker 1: sharp and stuff, it's because she picked out and was like,
Speaker 1: buy this now. So she always wanted to be a buyer,
Speaker 1: and so now she worked for a large, well known
Speaker 1: clothing company and she's a buyer. She's like a junior
Speaker 1: her buyer. So even though she does she doesn't even
Speaker 1: make I don't think half of what she made before.
Speaker 1: You know, even when she complains about it, I'm like,
Speaker 1: remember how you thought about this time last year. She's like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't even know how She's like. She would literally
Speaker 1: start shaking Sunday evening because she knew Monday I have
Speaker 1: to go to work.
Speaker 2: And she took a pay cut.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 2: That happens sometimes, yep.
Speaker 1: But she's working her way up and she's enjoying herself
Speaker 1: and she, you know, because she was living fancy before.
Speaker 1: She was like, you know, massage is this thing, and
Speaker 1: manicures here and this and that, and she had to
Speaker 1: cut some of that back, but in the end it
Speaker 1: was worth it to her. So she can make a move,
Speaker 1: and you know, before long, she's slowly but surely. She
Speaker 1: just had two really great interviews the next level coming
Speaker 1: and they love her at her new job because she
Speaker 1: loves her new job. So I say to say all
Speaker 1: that to say is that I'm not saying quit your job,
Speaker 1: but I am saying look for another one, because it
Speaker 1: does not make sense to be miserable at work. Your
Speaker 1: health might start to be effected.
Speaker 2: We don't want that plan your exit strategy exactly. It's
Speaker 2: kind of like think of it as if a girlfriend
Speaker 2: of yours were telling you that her boyfriend was dismissive
Speaker 2: and he treated her bad and didn't want to hear
Speaker 2: what she had to say and didn't think it, treated
Speaker 2: her like she was intellectually not on his level, and
Speaker 2: you know, made her do all the housework all day
Speaker 2: and kept the door shut and ignored her when she
Speaker 2: was there, like you would tell her to get out, right.
Speaker 2: It's almost a similar like abusive relationship. I mean on
Speaker 2: the lesser level, Like I've had issues with managers at
Speaker 2: jobs where I have gone to them and told them,
Speaker 2: like spoken up about the way. You know. There's there
Speaker 2: was one manager I had who was like textbook micromanaging,
Speaker 2: like to the point where I, like, my schedule was
Speaker 2: planned for every fifteen minutes. I had to tell her
Speaker 2: to know where I was going when I was writing
Speaker 2: when it was due. It was way too much and
Speaker 2: I had to tell her and had to tell her
Speaker 2: bosses that it was really it was too much. It
Speaker 2: was too much pressure. It was you know, or I
Speaker 2: was being less productive, it was distracting, it was you know,
Speaker 2: and insulting on some level because I was experienced and
Speaker 2: I voiced my opinions. And after a while, you know,
Speaker 2: that manager was asked to leave and it worked out
Speaker 2: in the end, I guess in that way. Doesn't always
Speaker 2: happen that way, especially when it's coming from the top level.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like top level people are setting that tone,
Speaker 2: like the keeping the office doors closed and not really talking.
Speaker 2: Like if it's that ingrained in the culture, then it's
Speaker 2: probably likely that you know, filing a you know, talking
Speaker 2: to HR, talking to your manager may not work, but
Speaker 2: it can be effective in some cases.
Speaker 1: You should at least do it. Because she, my sister
Speaker 1: spoke to the HR manager and they kind of pull
Speaker 1: her to the side and they're like, we know you should,
Speaker 1: like like off the record, you know, you should leave
Speaker 1: basically because she's she's gearing up the fire. She's been
Speaker 1: like putting stuff in to like you know, lord, yeah,
Speaker 1: to build a case against you. Like that was like
Speaker 1: off the record, hate girlfriend, Hey, from the HR. She
Speaker 1: was like, well, how is this allowed? But I told
Speaker 1: her and sometimes I say this is that I told her?
Speaker 1: Why are you fighting to stay in this abusive relationship?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, like I get it. What she's doing is
Speaker 1: not right and it's not fair, But why are you
Speaker 1: fighting to stay here? Like it's like even if you
Speaker 1: win and you're like, hey, you can't fire me, you
Speaker 1: can continue to abuse me on the job though, and
Speaker 1: so yeah, so don't you don't have to fight to
Speaker 1: stay someplace where you're feeling happy. Definitely speak to HR
Speaker 1: and C. But if in general you just don't even
Speaker 1: like the work that you're doing, then it's time to
Speaker 1: look for another position. All so you can be.
Speaker 2: Happy and again you get to do it while you
Speaker 2: have a job. That's a nice place to be in,
Speaker 2: nicer than you know, being unemployed, and you're desperate, So
Speaker 2: hopefully start working your connects. Start with maybe networking. You
Speaker 2: say you work in finance. Finance is a pretty people
Speaker 2: are always moving on in finance. I feel like, so
Speaker 2: there may be you know, ask friends, like, reach out
Speaker 2: to people, let them know that you're looking. You never
Speaker 2: know it's out there. Raise a hand, let people know
Speaker 2: that you're on the look and me something will come
Speaker 2: your way. Good lucky, keep us up and get some wine,
Speaker 2: just a little bit of wine. I feel so much.
Speaker 2: Oh man, all right, we have reached the end of
Speaker 2: another show.
Speaker 1: We have and I had fuzzy me too.
Speaker 2: We're silly tonight, super silly. Did you have some wine?
Speaker 1: No? I did not.
Speaker 2: I know, because I think I'm just naturally, you know,
Speaker 2: naturally giddy. I like to think I bring that out
Speaker 2: in you and myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: God, that was a little trumpy. That was a little
Speaker 2: trumpy of me, wasn't it.
Speaker 1: You know, guys, you're wrong. You're like, well, mister Trump,
Speaker 1: that's not a question.
Speaker 2: Beautiful day because of me. I'm in a great mood,
Speaker 2: I know, because it's I'm here. That's my Trump expression impression,
Speaker 2: A pretty good one. Oh you're happy. I'm happy. Everyone's happy.
Speaker 2: Uh So let's leave on a on a high note.
Speaker 2: What are what's your win for the week?
Speaker 1: You go first.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do the win for hashtag nasty women because
Speaker 2: I love I love how people have turned what Voldemort
Speaker 2: hath wrought and had said about Queen Hillary during the debate.
Speaker 2: He called her a nasty woman, and everyone has taken
Speaker 2: it and turned it right back. The phrase I heard
Speaker 2: today was that we have weaponized it against him, and
Speaker 2: I love it so much. Am I my bestie? Who
Speaker 2: doesn't know that she's my bestie? Elizabeth Warren, Lizzie I
Speaker 2: call her, did a speech today where she just like
Speaker 2: she's like, nasty women vote, nasty women pay the bills,
Speaker 2: Nasty women get things done. And I was like, yes,
Speaker 2: go ahead, Lizzie Warren. Where's miss Janet getting a I
Speaker 2: feel like Janet should be getting like a little uh,
Speaker 2: what do you call it? Kickbacks? I'm always mentioned the
Speaker 2: nasty but I just love it. I feel like it's
Speaker 2: it feels like we're reaching a crescendo where women are
Speaker 2: becoming like a focal point of the election and everyone's
Speaker 2: talking about women and women are just getting excited about
Speaker 2: voting and it's going to be the first female president potentially,
Speaker 2: and it's kind of like the finish line is coming,
Speaker 2: it's almost over. We just got to hang in there,
Speaker 2: and uh, yeah, I'm excited that that nasty woman has
Speaker 2: come out of that awful awfulness.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just thought it was hilarious where they put
Speaker 1: her face on Janna Jackson's body.
Speaker 2: Did they I was waiting for someone to talk about
Speaker 2: jan didn't see that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they did, and I was waiting for
Speaker 1: a Janet meme. Well, I want to give a win
Speaker 1: for the Hidden Figures movie with Jel. Do we do that? Oh?
Speaker 2: Is that coming?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: This has been the blackest year in cinema? Can I
Speaker 2: just say that? Because there's like hidden finger Hidden Figures. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we talked about that before. That's the the Astronauts.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, American women who helped NASA launch their first
Speaker 1: successful space mission. But I just want to say a
Speaker 1: win because it's out now. Oh no, that's a release
Speaker 1: in January. My bad. But still like the poster looks
Speaker 1: amazing and it's Tarashi p Henson, Janelmne and Octavia Spencer.
Speaker 1: I just think it's such a win because, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a win for me. It's because it's not not
Speaker 1: Although I have nothing against entertainers and singers and all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, it's nice to have this movie about,
Speaker 1: you know, women who are smart outside of just like
Speaker 1: you know, their bodies or their voices or you know,
Speaker 1: really just their minds.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so I can't wait to see it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's a huge win. All I do.
Speaker 2: Real quick, I wanted to say, because if you're talking
Speaker 2: about black movies, the reason I was like, it's the blackest,
Speaker 2: the blackest year ever. So Birth of Nation's been out.
Speaker 2: I know controversy will skip that over. But I went
Speaker 2: to a screening of the movie called Loving, a couple
Speaker 2: of I guess a few weeks back. Loving's out November fourth,
Speaker 2: so just a week or two away. Loving is the story,
Speaker 2: the real life story of Loving versus oh crap is
Speaker 2: in Virginia. I believe it's It's a famous Supreme Court case.
Speaker 2: It's the reason I am who I am because it
Speaker 2: it legalized interracial marriage in the US. The Supreme Court
Speaker 2: declared it unconstitutional to make a couple, you know, uh,
Speaker 2: in prison, a couple who were interracial for loving each other.
Speaker 2: So that's coming out. And I saw the movie. It
Speaker 2: was really good. It was people were giving a little
Speaker 2: bit of flak because the actress who played the woman
Speaker 2: who's black was Ethiopian and British or something like that,
Speaker 2: and I was like, come on, like it's fine, come on,
Speaker 2: they're telling a story. Come on. And on top of that,
Speaker 2: I saw another movie Moonlight, who's starring Jennel Money again.
Speaker 2: Geneal Money is like in the movies right now. Moonlight
Speaker 2: is just storry about a young black boy who's gay
Speaker 2: and he's he's like taken under the wing of a
Speaker 2: local drug dealer, Okay, and it's getting like amazing reviews,
Speaker 2: like Oscar reviews. So those are two good films. And
Speaker 2: then there's Abra du Rene's movie on Netflix, the documentary
Speaker 2: called The Thirteenth Yes, which is about which I watched.
Speaker 2: It's really I mean it's it's kind of depressing, but
Speaker 2: it's also really good. I mean, it's not like it's
Speaker 2: it's not brand new information, but it's like information everyone
Speaker 2: should be reminded of. It's it's basically talking about the
Speaker 2: incarceration system in America and kind of the history of
Speaker 2: how we got such overcrowded prisons and so many African
Speaker 2: American families ripped apart. But like a really well done
Speaker 2: one that you can tell was done by somebody who
Speaker 2: like takes it seriously. I'm here, Yeah, I'm like loving
Speaker 2: all the cinema happening right now. Yeah, it's a very
Speaker 2: black year twenty sixteen man, Yes, a very.
Speaker 1: Very black, like just year for TV movie all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: We didn't even talk about TV yet. Insecure I'm obsessed.
Speaker 1: With I was gonna say, I'm boosting that even though
Speaker 1: I have not seen it. I heard it's hilarious.
Speaker 2: It's it's a good stuff. It's only half an hour too,
Speaker 2: so I mean it's like twenty something minutes. It's it's
Speaker 2: good times. And one thing I haven't watched so much
Speaker 2: of is Queen Sugar because it's an hour and it's
Speaker 2: hard to find hours to watch the show.
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna lie I have not watched. I
Speaker 1: just don't even have the time. I'm like, one, do
Speaker 1: I know, you know, because I'm like wonder people, how
Speaker 1: so what is this thing called TV?
Speaker 2: So you can have your personal assistant like watch it
Speaker 2: but then give you let the clips recap.
Speaker 1: That would be awesome. I used to do that, like
Speaker 1: an ex wayfit of line. He used to like at work,
Speaker 1: like he was like, you know, because I would always
Speaker 1: watch like all like the shows and stuff when I
Speaker 1: was a teacher. I had plenty of that, and then
Speaker 1: I would talk to him about it, like I like
Speaker 1: made dinner and stuff, and he thought it was foolish
Speaker 1: until like they talked about it at work and he
Speaker 1: would like share what I said, and he would come
Speaker 1: back and be like, so tell me more stuff because
Speaker 1: I find at work, and I'd be like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: so how will that you totally love? I thought that
Speaker 1: was hilarious.
Speaker 2: That's funny. Well, I'll let you know what happens on insecure. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's good stuff, all right, another show in the bag.
Speaker 2: If you're still listening, bless you, and you can send
Speaker 2: your questions for our upcoming debt series. You can go
Speaker 2: to Brian Ambition podcast dot com.
Speaker 1: Yes and we will chat with you next week.
Speaker 2: Until next week, good night night,