1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: All right, let's buckle up, let's hold on tight. We 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: gotta fell you straw Berry Letta, thank you, Tommy subject, childless, 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: man less, clueless and hungover at forty, Dear Steve, Harvey 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: and Shirley. Currently, I am separated and over forty. Can't 5 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: have any children main reason for my divorce. Anyway, I 6 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: met a man, Mr. Man, who was also separated, and 7 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,639 Speaker 1: we became very close. It was great. After a year, 8 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: Mr Man has his divorce. Once my divorce was final, 9 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: this summer, I thought Mr Man and I would be together. Well, 10 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: Mr Mann told me that he was going to New 11 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,480 Speaker 1: Jersey to get his ex girlfriend, the woman he should 12 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: have married instead of his wife. I had to ask, 13 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: what about me? He said, I am a beautiful woman, 14 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: but I had three problems. Number One, I am too emotional. 15 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: I cry at the drop of a dime. Number two, 16 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: real women are a mystery. Once that's gone, nothing is left. 17 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: I'm an open book. Number three the big one I 18 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: should not have I should not have fallen in love 19 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: with a married man him. I missed all the signs 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: of this rejection. I tried to be open and honest 21 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: with this man. Of course, the sex was good. But 22 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,199 Speaker 1: I am truly hurt so as I watch him take 23 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: his ex girlfriend on a romantic weekend to the Pocono's 24 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: Mountains this weekend. Last night, I had my brown liquor, 25 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 1: my brown liquor song Anita Baker no more tears, and 26 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: cried myself to sleep. I should have known better and 27 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: controlled my feelings at forty. So I'll say it's my fault. 28 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,199 Speaker 1: I am not perfect. Now. I am out of two 29 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,559 Speaker 1: men in one year at forty. I pray that God 30 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: heals my heart and my mind. Childless, manless, clueless and 31 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: hungover at forty. Wow, dear dear childless manless, clueless and 32 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: hungover at forty. I mean, yeah, you know, God, will 33 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: you know, protect you and heal you and all that. 34 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: But you have to do your part. You know, you 35 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 1: gotta do your part um and that is not jumping 36 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: into something when number one you're still married to this uh, 37 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 1: to your husband, uh and uh number two, you know, 38 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: just jumping in not getting to know this man, you know, 39 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: sleeping with him right away. That's exactly what happened. That's 40 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: what he means by the mystery. You know, once the 41 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,359 Speaker 1: mystery is gone, then it's over. I mean telling him 42 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: everything you said. You're an open book. You don't have 43 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: to tell this man everything. He's not even your husband, um, 44 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: you know, and then being so emotional and needy. You know, 45 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: you gotta learn from um from your relationship so this 46 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,119 Speaker 1: won't happen again. And as far as not being able 47 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 1: to have children, um, you know, if you want to 48 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 1: go this route, adoption is always an option. It definitely 49 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 1: is always an option. You know, think about that in 50 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: your next relationship. But I don't advise you to even 51 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 1: get in a next relationship, a new relationship until you 52 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,679 Speaker 1: know you learn from this particular one so you won't 53 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: keep making these same mistakes over and over and over again. 54 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: So take your time, know what you want, and don't 55 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: settle uh anymore? Okay, and make these men accountable, you know, 56 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: talk about their plans, find out what he wants to do. 57 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: You know, why should that have even been a surprise 58 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: to you that he wanted to go back and marry 59 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: someone else? Steve, This letter is classic. It's classic, classic 60 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: example of how women get involved and not know upfront 61 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: her whole life is that way. First of all, she's 62 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: separated right now, can't have any children. Main reason for 63 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: my divorce. You're getting a divorce because you can't have children. 64 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: Who didn't notice in the beginning? How was this not 65 00:03:54,680 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 1: talked out thoroughly in the beginning. So you get at 66 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: this point with your husband and he finds out you 67 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: can't have children, or he just his sides he won't children, 68 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: or this is the reason he's telling you that he 69 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: got to leave. All it is, all it is, All 70 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,279 Speaker 1: of this could have been handled up front. You were 71 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: surprised that your marriage is over because of the fact 72 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 1: that you can't have children. You've been knowing this a 73 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: greater part of your forty years, especially in your adult 74 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 1: life where it really counts. Okay. Secondly, um, you met 75 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 1: a man, Mr. Man, who was separated, which means he 76 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: was still married to Mr Man gets his divorce and 77 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: once your divorce was final this summer, I thought Mr 78 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: Man and I would be together keyword, I thought you 79 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: once again, ma'am. And I'm just not trying not to 80 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: be too hard on you, because you know you made 81 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 1: a mistake. But you said I thought Mr Man and 82 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: I would be together once again. Classic classic not knowing 83 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,479 Speaker 1: up front. You could have found out if you and 84 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: Mr Man was gonna be together before you broke off 85 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 1: the cookie with this man. But now you're passing our 86 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: cookie like it's like like it's a business card. Now 87 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,039 Speaker 1: you're sitting up in here and found out that Mr 88 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: Man after his divorce is gonna go back to Jersey 89 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: and get his ex girlfriend. He could have told you 90 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 1: that in the begin it had you inquired. Ladies, you 91 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: have the right to inquire. It's not being nos. It 92 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,679 Speaker 1: ain't being push You ain't gonna run no man off. 93 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: If a man really won't you, you can't run him off. 94 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: You can't run us off. We are scary. We won't you. 95 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: We want you. We are not scary. People me and 96 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: are not scary. You don't run us off, and we 97 00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 1: won't you. Come on, come on, Pimpson. Players didn't put 98 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: it in your head that you will run us off. 99 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: Men can't be run off. So here you go. He 100 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: goes to the ex girlfriend, the woman that he should 101 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 1: have married instead of his wife. Oh, this is conversation 102 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: you could have add why are you getting to matter? 103 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: Who would you have married if you didn't marry your wife? 104 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: I would have married this girl in New Jersey. A 105 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: matter of fact, if I ever get out of this. 106 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 1: I'm going back and get hard. You could have found 107 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: this out and saved yourself to that, so you had 108 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: what about me? What about you? Is too late? He 109 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: going to get the girl in Jersey? Ladies, you have 110 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: every right to ask up front, see what about you 111 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: is first? You gotta get to what about you out first, 112 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 1: or when you get to the point where you gotta 113 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: ask what about you? This ain't about you no more. 114 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: This about him and the woman in New Jersey. Now 115 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 1: he got his divorce, he gone, He going back to 116 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: who we should have married in the first place. You 117 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: ain't asked none of these questions cause you was swat, 118 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 1: having a good time, feeling good, always pleasurable. You all 119 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: had so much in common. The only thing y'all had 120 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: in common was both y'all were separated. His plans was 121 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: not your plans. You have every right to know of 122 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: a man's plans. You especially have the right to know, ladies, 123 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: if you are not in his plans. There are ways 124 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: to go about finding this out. We come back. I'm 125 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: gonna open up a few more cans in the uh 126 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: in this letter. Few more items in this letter share 127 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: with you, especially the three problems she has I'm too emotional, 128 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: He says, he's too emotionally cried to drop down. Real 129 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: women are mystery wants. That's gone, nothing's left. I tell 130 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: you what me and mean by that, and I'm an 131 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: open book. And the third big one I should have 132 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: should not have fallen in love with a married man. 133 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: I'll tell you what that means to when we come back. 134 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey. Okay, the man told me that he was 135 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: going to New Jersey to get his ex girlfriend, the 136 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: woman he should have married instead of his wife. I 137 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: had to ask, what about me? He said, I'm a 138 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: beautiful woman, but I had three problems. Let's go over 139 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: these problems, ladies. Number one, I am too emotional. I 140 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: cry at the drop of a dime. Well, here's the deal. 141 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: If a man don't love you and don't have emotional 142 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: ties to you of any kind, which is obviously this 143 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 1: man don't, he's not buying into drama. Tears to a 144 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: man is drama because guess what if your man loves 145 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: you and he sees you crying, he has to fix something. 146 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: We got to spring into action and do something. Since 147 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: it's it's it's the only reason we like to talk 148 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 1: to you. We don't want to talk to you if 149 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: if we can't fix it. So now you're just crying 150 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: at the drop of a dime. He don't know what 151 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: the hell going on. He can't fix it. That's drama. 152 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 1: I'm not in love with you and I ain't really 153 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: feeling you like that. So guess what I ain't buying 154 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 1: into this drama over no cookie, which is all you 155 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: are is some cookie. Secondly, real women are mystery. Once 156 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: that is gone, nothing is left. He told you that, Okay, 157 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: you know what that means. That means you told everything 158 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: in the book. I will tell you what to tell 159 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 1: a man and what not to tell a man. See, 160 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: y'all go about this the wrong way, y'all. Y'all think 161 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: it's being honest and open. Hey, hey, y'all better understand 162 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,719 Speaker 1: what this really is. Now, when you're talking to us, 163 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: when you give us information, we're taking this information to 164 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 1: use it a certain way. That's what we're doing. We're 165 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: not gathering information because we care for you. We gather 166 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: information because we can use it in our quest. Third, 167 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: the big one, I should have not she said, I 168 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,199 Speaker 1: should have not fell in love. That's what she said 169 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: with the married man, I miss all this, all the 170 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: signs of this rejection. No no, no, no, no, you 171 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: didn't miss any of the signs of rejection. You didn't 172 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: ask for the signs. You didn't ask any questions. What 173 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: was his intentions after his divorce was over, whether you 174 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: fit into the plans? How does he see you? What 175 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: the big one is I'm gonna give you, is that 176 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 1: you fell in love with a married man. You know 177 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: what he says to him, You had no standards. That's 178 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 1: all that says to a man. You had had no standards. 179 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: Now you won't do what Now you wanna start practicing 180 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: standards with me? I'm not really sure if you have any, 181 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: because what you ain't gonna do is start practicing new 182 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 1: standards with me and my feelings. I'm going up to 183 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 1: Jersey and get my old girl back. Man, ill at you? 184 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: We gotta go email or Instagram. That's your thoughts on 185 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry letter. At my girl? Surely? Now, come on, Steve, 186 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: introduce that girl from the top. Ladies and gentlemen, boys 187 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: and girls, military personnel, everybody around the world, show Underworld,