WEBVTT - SHAN BOODRAM - Stirring the Pot 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.120 Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke. 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:18.720 I'm your host, Coleen Witt, and today we have a 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:23.160 very special guest. I'm super excited about you, mainly because 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:26.480 I feel like you are inspiring. You're a woman's woman. 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:30.160 You're just very open and for me, that vulnerability is 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:35.840 very beautiful. But without further ado, sex educator, author, podcaster 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:40.760 lovers by Shan shout out, Shan Boudrum Brady is in 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:41.280 the building. 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:41.600 Guys. 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:44.080 You did it, Thank you. 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:47.160 Thank you for coming on. Guys. Just a little backstory. 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:50.680 I was at an event with Nick Cannon and I 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:52.720 saw her walking Rome and I immediately went to my 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.280 brother like, oh my god, I watch your stuff. I 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:57.640 listen to your stuff. There's areas in my life that 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.960 I'm not I'm more in the taboo sexist or a 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.400 little bit more taboo on my side. So seeing you, 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:06.920 kind of seeing you be liberated, allows other people to 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:09.400 do the same. So definitely a huge fan. But the 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.000 second I saw you walking the room, I saw her 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:12.720 walking room, I was like, oh my god, and you 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:13.240 didn't see me. 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:15.560 You were doing you were just looking amazing, And I 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:16.560 was like, oh, she's stunning it. 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:21.000 For yes, I promise you all of the all the 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:22.520 good girly feelings. 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:24.520 Was flowing, and I just I couldn't. I didn't care 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.600 about Nick or nothing he had going on. 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:29.760 I said, Yo, I watched this girl and I'm a 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:33.120 huge fan and you're a woman's woman, just everything about y'all. 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:36.280 So I've been bragging all week and I even told 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.959 my team we have a new member on our team, 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:41.080 and I was like, we can't. You can't even test 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:44.280 your anything on this episode because I'm very honored to 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:46.920 have you. Shout outs to my girl that made sure 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:49.480 it happen, but you being so sweet and being like, yeah, 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:51.120 I'm gonna do it and doing it well. 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.640 You had this drop dead gorgeous woman approached me afterwards 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.880 and say there's this podcast. You have to go on it. 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.840 She's a really big admirer of your work. I think 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:03.400 you guys would have an amazing conversation. I think it'll 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:06.440 be great for you. And you're cooking, so I was like, oh, 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:07.320 it sounds really fun. 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:08.240 Yeah, and you're cooking. 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:10.120 Shout out to you for knowing what you want and 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.520 going after it. And I'm really grateful to be here 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:14.240 and I love that you showed the love, Like as 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.400 soon as I parked there was a smile on your 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.520 face and said like welcome, Yeah, excited, And I love to. 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.639 Answer the call like yo, yeah, Like I probably shouldn't 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:25.600 have answered that excited, but you know, I think people 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:29.720 need to know they're loved and you know, and just celebrated. 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:31.880 And sometimes you never know the impact you have on 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.520 others or what have you. So, like I said, we're 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.440 like a little bit more opposite, and I think that's 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:41.280 the more beautiful part about it. It's like you think 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.920 you only attract people like yourself, Yeah, but it's like 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:47.079 you letting your life shine allows others to do the same. 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:49.720 But before we get into the goodies of your background, 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:51.360 which I did study and I try not to do 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:53.919 too much research, guy, but go ahead and tell us 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:57.320 what your go to eating while broke dish is my go. 0:02:57.160 --> 0:03:01.079 To eating while broke dish is tomato besk best, which 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:04.359 we have been debating whether tomato beeesk and tomato soup 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:06.680 are different or it's just a way of making yourself 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.840 feel more fancy. But it comes into can It's Campbell's 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:13.600 and I have been eating this pretty much my whole life. 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:16.440 But it became a huge staple for me while I 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:16.920 was broke. 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:20.040 Okay, so go ahead and tell us what are your 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.280 ingredients for your tomato baske me. No, one's can soup, 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:23.640 but you added something else. 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.600 Yes, so it's a can of soup and then you 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:29.680 have to do I'm pretty sure the ingredients is one 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:32.880 dump of soup and then one dump of either water 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:35.600 or milk. So depending on where I was add financially, 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:37.560 it would be water or milk I asked for. I 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:38.520 should have asked you for milk. 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:40.840 But wait, you're going to heat up the milk, and 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:42.520 you can heat up milk like that. 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:44.240 I'm pretty sure I think I used to do that. 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.880 Now that I'm like doubting myself. I had a water 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:49.640 but you dump it and you add water, then you 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.040 put this, and then you add the cheese to give 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:54.040 it some texture, so you're tubing. 0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:57.280 I just love that it's a memory because that shows 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:59.080 how far the road has come. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:01.880 Yeah, you're like questioning my milk theory. I'm like, did 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:02.720 I used to use milk? 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.040 Because if you think about it, you're like boiling the milk. 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:06.560 Right, but you boil the milk for other things like 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:09.720 cream of wheat, oatmeal almost another huge eating wall. 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:11.520 Bro oatmeal, and you put milk in your own. 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:15.840 One hundred Yes that I do know. I'm very confident. 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:17.839 Okay, So then you're you should be confident that you 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:19.280 do it in soup, because I should be. 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:21.200 I don't do it in either. I'm like, yo, that's 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:22.880 a little risk gay for me. Yeah. 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:25.840 My husband makes pancakes with water. I make pancakes with it. 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:27.360 I make pancakes with water. 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:30.560 What maybe I just like milk like milk. 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.600 Oh my, you're like my daughter. I don't know where 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:37.320 that comes from. Bo Okay, so go ahead start cooking 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:39.560 us the water version of Fortunately. 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:42.080 We don't have milk version, the cheaper version, the. 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:45.320 Cheaper version that's the budget friendly version. And while you 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.560 get started on the why don't you take me back 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:51.400 to the dire days of Super Survival all right? 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:53.919 Let me just read the instructions first before I because 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.280 I actually haven't made the canned version in a really 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.919 long time. All right, So if we go on the stove, 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:02.680 we're gonna heat during a occasionally where it's the directions microwavey, 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:05.840 I think you're just supposed to add the soups and 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:08.160 one can of water thank you. 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:09.000 Yeah, you got it. 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:11.960 Very good milk. 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:13.160 By the way, guys, I don't know. 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:16.000 Okay, So I'm gonna pour our soup in there. I'm 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:20.240 going to put this on high. It's gonna come out 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:21.679 delicious on the bottom. 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:21.920 Knop. 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:26.039 Okay, we want it on power boil mh boom. 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:28.520 And then you're gonna add your water, okay, and you 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:29.680 don't add flavors to it. 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:32.480 You could add a little bit of time or some 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:37.479 oregano doesn't need it. I like hot foods, hot foods 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:40.120 or foods that are like very difficult. I mentioned to 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:43.240 you artichokes another option. Anything that takes a long time 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:45.760 to eat is good because it makes you feel more full. 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:49.200 So meals that are like really fast to eat, you're 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:52.520 gonna feel hungry afterwards. So something that's super hot, like 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:55.479 a soup, or something super complicated like crab legs. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:59.960 Or feel like that's more annoying to eat when I'm starved. 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.120 But now you're going slowly, so you fill up faster. 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:04.839 You know, I'm a mom. 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:07.120 So, by the way, I forgot to shout out Shan's 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:11.960 hardest title is an I'm curious for this followup for this, 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:12.760 But you're. 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:16.359 A mom, a mother of two, and it's too harder 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:16.800 than one. 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:19.920 In some ways, yes, In some ways no, I think 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.560 it's like kind of evens itself out. They kind of 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:26.280 distract each other kind of, but you feel less guilty 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:30.560 for them having alone time because they have each other. 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:32.800 So if they're playing in their room or you know 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.120 what I mean, like even sleeping in the same bed, 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.880 you're like, Okay, there's another person there to monitor you. Yeah, right, 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.000 Like if I'm not in the room, someone else is 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.480 there to tell me if you're choking on your vomit whatever. 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:45.080 So I think that in that capacity, I also think 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.560 it was much better for the relation my romantic relationship 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:53.839 really much, because with one, there's like this one on 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:56.159 one off thing that happens, and then that leads to 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:59.920 a lot of like feelings of unfairness because it's like, well, 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:01.680 I did this last time or you did this this time, 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:03.360 and you're dipping out a lot. When there's two, it's 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:05.640 all hands on deck all the time, so nobody has 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.880 the option of like sneaking away or going on their phone. 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:12.880 It's like everybody at all times, everywhere. So I found 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:16.400 that once we had two, we just just completely locked 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.560 in and there was just a lot less resentment. Of course, 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:20.760 we roll some more seasoned as parents, so that helped. 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:23.680 You're not like worried that Like for me, I always thought, like, 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:26.080 what happens if something happens to this child, Like do 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:28.080 will they believe that it was an accident? 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:29.600 Like well, my first one. 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:31.800 I was like, if she'd like dies by accident in 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:34.200 my possession, Like do I go to jail or will 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:34.920 they believe that? 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.240 Like why would you give someone who has never had 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:37.880 a kid a kid? 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:39.760 Like you know, that's so funny. 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:42.240 When we came home from the hospital with our daughter, 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:44.880 my husband, I swear to God, was like. 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.000 Okay, get in the car, hurry up, hurry up. I'm like, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:49.840 what are we rushing for? Get in the car. 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:52.480 And I was like, oh, it's because we both realized, 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.120 like why would they give us a kid? And he 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:57.040 just kept going, hurry up, let's get her in the 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.040 car before they changed their mind. It's like, bruh, I 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:01.240 don't think they're gonna change their mind. 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:04.200 We need them. We need to stay as long as possible. 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:06.240 You know, they give you like three days in the husble, 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:07.880 like no, let's stay a little bit longer, just make 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:08.600 sure we worked. 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:10.480 Out all the kids. Yeah. You know what's so funny 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:13.440 about that is that having kids made me realize how 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:17.040 much of an empty fear having your kid kidnapped is, 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:19.440 because it's like, Ooh, I want this kid. 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:23.120 That's all the time if you're a background Like. But 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:26.080 I think sometimes if I was like a kidnapper, I 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:27.160 would go to a playground. 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.080 But then sometimes I'm like, who on earth would want 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:31.320 a kid? 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.040 A kid? RESPONSI But I would make a joke that like, 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:36.840 if they would get to kidnap my kid, they'd take them. 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:38.319 They'd have them in the car, and my kids to 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:41.600 start being like, I need snacks, red water, I'm hungry, 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.280 that seatbelts too tight, change the mirror, Zach. And then 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.120 they would just turn right back around and drop them 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:50.600 off and just push them out. So I think it's 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:53.560 their own protection. Being very annoying is their way of 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:57.200 protecting this because they're so cute, but it's so annoying. 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:00.240 Yeah, the second you realize that, all the level of yeah, 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.720 all that comes with it. But okay, so take me 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:06.240 back to what was going on during the milk and 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:07.320 tomato biscare. 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.480 Okay, I'll take you to. I think like my lowest 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:12.680 point of era because it lasted for a little bit. 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:15.080 There was two times I went through it. One when 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:18.520 I first moved out at I moved out at age eighteen, 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.400 and then twenty four, and then I moved to California 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:25.240 at twenty eight, So twenty four, I it was not 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.600 a bad time. Actually, I used to do background work 0:09:28.000 --> 0:09:30.720 so like people might recognize me from Mean Girls. I 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:34.360 bumped Lindsay Lohan in the beginning. It's like, unfortunately the 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:36.760 thing my mom my mom was so proud. She would 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:38.960 like tell everybody like my daughter's and Mean Girls, like mom, 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:40.679 I was paid six dollars that day and I ate 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:43.400 Cheetos like I'm not a star in Mean Girls. But 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:45.560 that was a moment. So around that time is when 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:47.560 I really got into the soup. I ate it growing 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.959 up as a comfort food, and then when I didn't 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:51.680 have a lot of money, you realize you can get 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.319 sometimes you could get two cans for a dollar, yeah, 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.880 and you could get another can of dice tomatoes added 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:59.920 in there. You can add some cheese for some che 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:02.000 and it's a slow eat. 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:03.199 I used to boil. 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.120 Oh, yeah, it's really boiling, and I love it because 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:11.680 it's kind of like every nice restaurant has tomato bisk 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:14.840 so it's pretty cheap, even like seven bucks there. So 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:16.680 when I moved to La for example, I had a 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.760 lot of friends who had money, and I would go 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:20.280 out for dinner with them. You know, at the end 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.960 of dinner, everyone just throws their credit card down, but 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:25.920 they had the surf and turf with this big bottle 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:29.240 of wine, and I had a tomato soup because all 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:31.240 I could afford. So I kind of learned very quickly 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:33.840 that I'd always bring ten bucks because that would cover 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:36.800 my food plus the tips. Like that was my go 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:37.600 to meal going out. 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:38.160 I love that. 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:40.240 But around the time the second time, at twenty eight 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:43.360 years old, twenty nine maybe no, I was thirty. So 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:45.240 between twenty eight and thirties when I was eating this 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:47.400 a lot, or just through my very broke LA phase, 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:51.560 I was living in my first studio apartment, my first 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:53.560 place to myself. All the rest of the time of 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.920 my life, I'd had roommates, or I was subleasing, or 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:58.240 I was renting a room. This is really special because 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:00.440 it was my first place. But even that it was 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.240 my first place, it wasn't the best building, so I 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:07.640 had bed bugs. So I had bed bugs. My immigration, 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:11.040 because immigrated from Canada to America, was on the fritz, 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:13.560 so I wasn't actually legally allowed to work in America, 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:15.800 which meant I had to live off of my savings. 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:19.040 So I had basically nothing left, and I was. 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:21.120 Your savings were from I just want to backtrack a 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:23.840 little bit. I know you published a book before you 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:26.760 came to La, Yes, So I just want to backtrack 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:30.200 to that. Can we can we start your story on 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:35.280 the original on you kind of publishing this book or 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:37.600 after Mean Girls. I'm sure it's after Mean Girls. 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.000 You was after me Girls, Okay, Okay, I. 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:41.960 Don't want to skip over any of that, Okay, because 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:46.000 I feel like at the time that you published your book, 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:49.560 were ready to add our cheese lade right it was late, yes, yes, 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.640 at the time you published Laid, it was still you know, 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:55.760 sex isn't It wasn't like talked about the way it 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:56.360 is now. 0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:59.960 So I just want to go back to that experience 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.920 and how you broached that subject and did that with 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.719 your parents knowing, and like the whole awkwardness. I don't 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:06.800 want to skip over any of this. 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:10.560 Okay, Great, I love that. We're ready to eat whenever 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:11.200 you are too. 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.600 Okay, this divine dish is ready to be served. Is 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:16.000 the cheese like melted in the fall? 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:17.480 Yeah, it's very melted. 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.239 Okay, Yeah, you can serve us up girl. 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:22.120 If you want. I can let it sit for a second. 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:23.839 But we can let it sit in our bowls to 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:26.800 set in our bowls, so it's not it's not too hot. 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.120 It's also good at the cheese isn't completely melted because 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:29.960 then you get more chew. 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:32.760 Oh yeah, I like stretch. 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.800 We need the chew. The chew is what tells your 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:36.840 belly that you're more full. 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:41.280 Oh, there's little tomato chunks in there. Is there there's 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:41.960 a little tomato. 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:43.319 That's the bisk all right. 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:48.959 Oh okay, don't sleep on campbells on campbellstoes, all right. 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:52.240 So I grew up running track and field, and my 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:55.320 parents are Caribbean, so they're both ran track growing up, 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.800 and we're very passionate about sports. And so I just 0:12:57.800 --> 0:12:59.800 thought my whole life I was going to be an Olympian. 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.400 The I was going to do And I got a 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:05.480 full scholarship to Coppin State University in Baltimore when I 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:08.160 was eighteen. It was my family's dream. I didn't have anything. 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:10.000 I didn't have a college fund or anything safe, so 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.480 that was my plan. I went to school for a year, 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.720 realized I was not going to the Olympics, like my 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.200 skill set was not going to take me there. And 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:23.600 essentially my sister got kicked out at home back in 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:26.320 Canada and she needed a roommate. So I was like, 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.600 I don't think I'm going to run anymore anyways, So 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:29.720 I don't know if I want to come back and 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:32.240 do my scholarship. So I think I'm going to enroll 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.200 in college in Canada and then just try a new 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:38.800 life path. So I started when I came back, because 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.040 it was probably June by that time. The only school 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.480 still accepting were colleges universities. Of course, you had to 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:47.640 apply long before. S ended up at Centennial College. Also affordable. 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.720 It was like twelve hundred bucks per semester, right, yeah, 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:54.880 so a few days on background whatever, So I was 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:56.600 able to enroll in that school. And when you go 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.280 to journalism school, day one, they'll tell you write what 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.040 you know, and so I always wanted to be an athlete, 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.840 but I also was really good at writing, so I 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:05.319 was like, Oh, I'll go into you know, school for 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.480 print journalism. And so if someone in the class was 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.360 like I love politics, okay, be a political reporter. Someone 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.000 was like, I love sports, be a sportscaster. I love entertainment, 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:16.480 be an entertainment reporter. And then I was like, damn, 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:19.200 they have all those good ones. What do I really love? 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:23.600 And I was like, I love fucking That's what I'm 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.920 going to write about. And so that's what I centered 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.880 really my whole college experience around writing and talking about 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:33.720 sex and relationships. And when I graduated from school, I 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:35.560 went on to University of Toronto and did a c 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:38.640 E course there to be a sex education counselor, and 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.200 so I worked doing that volunteer and then simultaneously I 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.400 started writing my first book Late, which was an anthology 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.640 of people's sexual experiences that others could learn from. 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:49.760 Oh okay okay. 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:52.240 And this was in two thousand and nine. So why 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:54.680 that's relevant is like, that's kind of around the time 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:57.840 that social media started, so it was a whole different 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:00.200 landscape in terms of how people were coming int their 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.960 sexual selves learning about sex. Many people's first sexual experience 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:09.280 was through AOL or through MSN Messenger or through black Planning. 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:10.080 I remember all those, right. 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:12.800 So it was the book was to account for the 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.560 new ways. So it was called Young People's Experiences with 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:18.440 Sex in an Easy Access Culture, so kind of just 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:20.800 noting the fact that times have really changed and so 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.680 our education has to change as well. That book came out, 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.240 I got paid ten thousand dollars for it. I spent 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:30.480 nineteen to twenty four, so five years writing it. As 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:32.720 you have elluded, did not go well with my family. 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.760 Yeah, because you had to have the goals, because like 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:38.320 even in class when everyone's like this, this this right, 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:41.360 and you're a female, Yeah, you're not a man, so 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:45.720 like you're this is what I'm going like, I'm curious, 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.760 like how did everyone perceive that off jump? 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:51.640 And how did you? I guess not sway. 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:55.760 I think that I have a natural disagreeable personality, which 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.640 really worked in my favor as an entrepreneur, didn't work 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:01.280 in my favor when it came to creating relationships. But 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:03.600 I didn't address that until my thirties. But my twenties 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.640 was a time to really lean into that like fuck 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:10.760 you mentality. It really that's what disagreeability is. Everyone's going left, 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.160 and you're like, I think I need to go right. 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:14.800 But I also just intuitively knew how important it was. 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:18.080 I had a really negative sex life, and I'd always 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.800 had a really strong passion towards sex from a very 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:24.120 young age, and that wasn't fueled bisexual assault or anything. 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:27.440 It was just my natural knowingness. This was a beautiful 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.840 part of the human experience, and I always I feel 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.000 like I had an age appropriate interest in it that 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:35.880 was really discouraged at every turn, which is natural because 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.600 parents are obviously like trying to protect you, yes, or 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.800 protect your heart too, because remember it's not just physical, right, yeah, 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:45.240 and trying to protect the reputation or trying to protect 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.040 your safety. There's a million different ways. You know that, 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.240 it was like heavily discouraged. And so when I got 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:53.320 a little older and I had hormones mixed with that interest, 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:56.160 with the knowledge that my parents were disappointed in this 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:56.680 part of. 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:58.800 Me, it, oh they were voicing it. 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:01.200 Yeah, I got in the trouble. My barbies were banned 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.760 from being naked. By age seven. I had a sleepover 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:07.359 with a friend where we had like a very like 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:10.760 platonic sort of sexual experience with our pillows and I 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.680 enjoyed it, and my friend told her parents like kind 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:15.600 of like in a oh we did last night. I 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:18.080 got in so much trouble for that. I was called 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.959 loud a lot growing up because I was just very touchy, 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:23.439 like stop being lued or so inappropriate your lude. So 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:25.560 I just kind of knew. Yeah, and I went to 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:28.400 a Catholic school. Yeah, so all of these things combined, 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:32.320 I knew that my parents did not appreciate this part 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:32.520 of me. 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:36.440 Yeah, I have a twin, just a terrible embarrassing story. 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.479 My twin will kill me as hopefully she doesn't really 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:39.840 listen to my show, so I'm safe. 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:42.840 But we're twins. And I remember the Funds. Do you 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.560 remember the Funds from probably yes? 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:47.640 Yes, Okay, So I used to watch and I used 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:49.040