1 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 1: The world is crazy right now, and I wrote some 2 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: sort of innocuous thing about like that, I I would 3 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: like to just give a beauty pageant answer that, like, 4 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: I just want world peace because I just feel like 5 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: so much back and forth, so much divisiveness, so much arguing. 6 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 1: Aren't we getting deal fatigue? I have gotten deal fatigue. 7 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: I just I know we have to be passionate about something. 8 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: I know we have to have a voice. I'm just 9 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: full from conflict. I don't know who else feels this way. 10 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 1: And it's really weird because I looked the other day 11 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: at how much I use social media on the average 12 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: a day, and at that point it was like twenty minutes. 13 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: Now I think it's down to like ten minutes. I'm 14 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: just I'm nauseated. I just how I'm nauseated on every 15 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 1: of all that everything is breaking news, everything that attend, 16 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: everything is the world is coming to and end, and 17 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: and maybe it actually is. I have no idea. It's 18 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: like the Boy who Cried cried wolf and the world's 19 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: coming to an end. But um also just then the 20 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: juxtaposition of so much superficiality, where at the beginning of 21 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: the pandemic, I really thought people would calm the funk down, 22 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 1: and like, not everybody cares about your everything, your child eats, does, 23 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: your dogs, your life, you know, and and I know 24 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: the TikTok is becoming more and more popular, and like, 25 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: I don't know. It's sort of like if I go 26 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: into a restaurant it's packed after a long time, I'd like, wait, 27 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: people are actually going out if I've been home for 28 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: a while. I'm sort of like that with social media. 29 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: I just can't believe that it lives on in the 30 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: way that it does for information and sort of communication. 31 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: I've loved it. I've loved it for relief work. It's 32 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: been such a great switchboard. Um. I've said this before 33 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: many times. It's just not my generation and the way 34 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: that I grew up too, and I was raised by 35 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: wolves to post like look how good I look, Look 36 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: how rich I am, look at everything I'm doing like 37 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,799 Speaker 1: and I just feel that it's got to tap out 38 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,239 Speaker 1: at some point. I mean, people that I used to 39 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: follow I can tolerate. I just look at like, who 40 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: gives a funk? And I don't know, except for business 41 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: and because I have to for certain partners, I have 42 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: to post or sometimes I'll do deals and then um, 43 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: I have to shoot like a video of some sort. 44 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: And I do like doing that. I actually doing once 45 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,799 Speaker 1: in a while, something will be really important to me, 46 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: and I do feel they need to say something, but 47 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: I still that that's what it should be. Do we 48 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: need to feel the need to say everything? Often in 49 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: my relationships and in my life, I say not everything 50 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 1: needs to be said, But that's literally the opposite of 51 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: social media. Everything needs to be said, and everything needs 52 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,399 Speaker 1: to be done, and everything needs to be communicated and 53 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: argued and deliberated and trolled. And I don't consider myself 54 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: that active on social media. I really was thinking during 55 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 1: the holidays, can I just be on it? Can I 56 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: just shut the ship down? Um? And then something funny 57 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: will happen, and then you'll want to take, you know, 58 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: a picture or something. I just I wonder if people 59 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: wonder why I'm not really posting that much because I 60 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: don't really have that much to say. I also want 61 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: to focus on my own life and my kid and 62 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: my relationship, and I feel that we're not that present. 63 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: I find that when I'm doing something I really am 64 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: enjoying and I'm present, I would never be stuffed in 65 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: my phone to document it. So it's like we're producing 66 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: our own lives. And so I feel like people have 67 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: wanted me to be more vocal about what's been going 68 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: on in the world. It's just that I may not 69 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: be being that publicly vocal because and then I'm supposed 70 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: to use my voice, and you know, because I'm a 71 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: public person. And then if I do use my voice, 72 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: then we don't give a shit about what celebrities think 73 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: about politics. Or I've been not too crazy. I haven't 74 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: been like very political because I'm not very political. But 75 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: I've gotten trolled for posting a picture myself with Hillary Clinton. 76 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: I was on Ellen. I got killed, Like, you really 77 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: can't do that much, and I'm not afraid. So I'm 78 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: not not doing something because I'm afraid. I'm just chock 79 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: full of motherfucking nuts. It's too much. I wouldn't mind 80 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: if the world just took a social media cleanse. And 81 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 1: that's our news now. And the whole world has changed 82 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: because media has changed, and elections have changed because media 83 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: has changed, and anger and excitement has changed because media 84 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: has changed. So social media is the biggest culpright. So 85 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm actually saying, except that at 86 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: the beginning of the pandemic, I thought it would all 87 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: calm down in many ways, and I don't know that 88 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,479 Speaker 1: it has. I I've formed down. I don't know. I 89 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: even watch people that I know, thinking everything they're saying 90 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: is so important, waxing poetic, you know, especially the more 91 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: well known people are. They just think that what they 92 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,920 Speaker 1: have to say so fucking important and holier than now. 93 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: And I don't know. I'm just one person with one vote, 94 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 1: so my voice is to be heard, but it's not 95 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,919 Speaker 1: like louder than anyone else's, So I don't know. I 96 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: think I'm just really full. And I would almost like 97 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: to just use social media for business because I listen, 98 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: I've been you know, I look an a bathing suit, 99 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: I look good and workout close. I just don't need 100 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,720 Speaker 1: to post every goddamn moment of like look at me 101 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,600 Speaker 1: and look at this great bag I have, and look 102 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: at my watches and my jewelry and my vacation and 103 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,480 Speaker 1: my life style. Some things need to be private, some 104 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: things need to be sacred. And yes, I know, my 105 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: social media and myself and hot outfits and whatever, because 106 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: like I feel like my team will say, like, you know, 107 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: a post and you haven't post anything at yourself. You 108 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: gotta post skinny pill clothes. You gotta post this, and 109 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: this rates and family rates like this, and you in 110 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: a bathing suit is like this, and you in a 111 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 1: hot outfit is this? And I don't know, maybe I'll 112 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: change my mind. At this time, I am a little 113 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: bit full. Is this just me? Though? Am I in 114 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: some sort of mood? Like do you feel this way? 115 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: Do you look at things that are on your own 116 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: feed and just say, like, who gives a ship? But 117 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,599 Speaker 1: you just don't sort of like unfollow the person or 118 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 1: make the stance because it's almost like eating food. You 119 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 1: don't really feel satisfied. You keep eating. You finished the 120 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: bag of chipsy, and I feel like you sort of 121 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: are satisfied at envy. People that I know that just 122 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: are not on social media. I promise you from the 123 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: bottom of my heart, I would not be on social 124 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 1: media if it weren't for business. And maybe everyone's gonna 125 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: follow me as a result of that. I don't know. 126 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,160 Speaker 1: It's just I'd like it to be a where if 127 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,599 Speaker 1: I have something that's important to me to say, or 128 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: something that I think is really funny, so I like 129 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: it if I would have the sort of tips to 130 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: just post when I thought something was really funny, or 131 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: when I was being paid to do it, or when 132 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:42,479 Speaker 1: it was good for business. But that's really it. Well, 133 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: my guest today's Tamin Hall, who is a journalist, television host, 134 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: and executive producer. She's also an Emmy Award winner. She 135 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: is the executive producer and host of her self titled 136 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: talk show Tamarin Hall, which was just renewed for its 137 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: third season. She is intelligent, driven and has so many 138 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: great insights. I know you're gonna love this conversation because 139 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: you really we sort of don't hold back, you know, 140 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: and you could tell that talking to her is like 141 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: playing tennis with a better tennis player. And honestly, I 142 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: always have known who she is, but I didn't know 143 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: that much about her, which is really a big part 144 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: of this podcast. I hear so much people saying I 145 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 1: didn't know. This was a cool conversation and she is 146 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: a strong person. Hi, I don't know how much you 147 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: know about the podcast, but this is about moguls and 148 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: successful business people and I am so grateful to have 149 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: you on. And I wanted to start by sharing something 150 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: that I've heard about you that you are incredibly punctual 151 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: and organized. Is that true? And where did that come from? 152 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: You know? My dad was the type of person make 153 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: your bed as soon as you wake up. In fact, 154 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: that something my husband laughs at me. Now about if 155 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: there's a pillow out of lace, I will subconsciously put 156 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: the pillow back where it belongs, or you know, if 157 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: there when we, you know, get home and something has 158 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 1: been moved, he says, I noticed it, like, oh that 159 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: lemon wasn't there, The lemon goes here. I just I'm 160 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: very orderly. Plus I'm a virgo, and I think that 161 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: that plays into it. If I follow to a stereotype 162 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: of of astrology, Virgos are apparently very orderly and analytical. 163 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: So now, I in my home growing up, I am 164 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 1: a free spirit, and I was definitely raised to be 165 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: a free spirit. Same. But when it came to you know, 166 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: home life and organization and order, definitely my dad leaned 167 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: in on that. I am. I am painfully punctual, I 168 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 1: am very structured, and I'm beyond organized. So I'm thinking 169 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: I didn't realize we had so much in common, but 170 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: I notice anything out of place. I think people crave order. 171 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: Maybe because of other things in their life that might 172 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: not be orderly, either emotionally or it's just something that 173 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: we can control and have a handle on. Were we 174 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: both are balancing a lot. But I think for me, 175 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: you know, even prior to becoming a mom, you know, 176 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: when you have a lot of things going on and 177 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: you have a lot of irons on the fire. For me, 178 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: I think more clearly with order, if I walk into 179 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: a room and everything, I can sit down and I 180 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: can focus, I know, and it will be even when 181 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: you know that it's about to get handled, like we've 182 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: been doing. I've been doing Christmas gifts for over a 183 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 1: hundred people, and it looks like Santa's workshop, but it's 184 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: like messy and the tissue and then the plastic that 185 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,960 Speaker 1: was around the tissue. And I know intellectually and emotionally 186 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: it's going to be okay, and it's going out of 187 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: the house and it's but in that moment it's hard 188 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,079 Speaker 1: because you're just focused on it because you want order 189 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: back to your space so you can do your work 190 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: and do everything that you're doing. And I do think, 191 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 1: I do think that people do ask me about time 192 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: management and about balancing, and I always bring up being organized, 193 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: but I mean down to your condiments in your refrigerator 194 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 1: and underneath your bathroom sink. Are you like that too? No, 195 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 1: I am like that. I'm not as orderly in that 196 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: arena as I probably should be. I can't lie in 197 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: that that respect. But all of my spices are in 198 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: alphabetical order. Yeah, all of my spices are in alphabetic order, 199 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,559 Speaker 1: and I have them in like little containers. So there 200 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: are the spices that begin with A. And because I 201 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: don't do that, that's a new one for me. That's 202 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,559 Speaker 1: a good one. Okay, Yeah, I do that. I'm very 203 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: organized with my son Um and his snacks and his 204 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 1: food are all same kind of organized in that way. 205 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 1: I think my weak spot would be my closet. I 206 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: have yet to figure out how um to make that 207 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,400 Speaker 1: order translate to my closet. That I can help you. 208 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 1: I read an article once and it said, virgos um, 209 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: they always have a secret spot where they stay all 210 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: of their mess and I think for me, it's the closet. Oh, 211 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: my goodness, I can help you. I can help you 212 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,079 Speaker 1: with that. I'll do it, do a separate, separate conversation 213 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: on that. But I've read that you you don't want 214 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: to sort of be that mom that like that looks 215 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: sloppy and even when you're not doing your talk show 216 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: or working that you always look cute and have it together. 217 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,079 Speaker 1: Is that true too? That is true? I mean, I 218 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: don't know how we define cute. Everybody has their own 219 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: version of it. I mean mine currently I have on 220 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 1: a little matching Uh, I guess it's a tie dyed 221 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 1: jogging suit thing at home. Yeah, it's at home. It 222 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be, you know, this fancy outfit, or 223 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be anything elaborate. But for me, 224 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: a big part of my journey is my own identity. 225 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 1: I've only been a mom eighteen months, but I was 226 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: a non mom for forty eight years, and I didn't 227 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: want to lose a part of just, you know, something 228 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: that I identify with. I love clothes. I love dressing up. 229 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 1: I love the idea of feeling good about what I'm wearing. 230 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,840 Speaker 1: And I can tell you like I I love leggings. 231 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: I'm a fan of leggings. But if I ever write 232 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: a book, I said, one of the chapters will be 233 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: leggings don't love Us. Because after I had my baby, 234 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:14,839 Speaker 1: I was completely unaware of my size because the leggings kept, 235 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 1: you know, deluding my view of whether or not i'd 236 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: lost the big weight that I wanted to lose it. 237 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: And I was like, we love them, but they don't 238 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: love us, because you know, the stretch pattern doesn't always 239 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: reveal exactly what's happening. At least that's what happened to me. Yes, 240 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 1: that's true. And I often say that people, even if 241 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 1: they're wearing sweats or something it's comfortable, should have some 242 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: sort of a structure because then you're not eating as 243 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: much and you feel sort of together, where if it 244 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 1: feels really loose and sloppy, it's just easy to keep, 245 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: you know, to keep eating. And especially now with everyone 246 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: being at home, we're not really monitoring. Yeah, Southern, I 247 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,440 Speaker 1: grew up in that. You know. My grandfather had a 248 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: second grade education. He was what's known as a share propper. 249 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: It was very proud man. He didn't have you know, wealth, 250 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: but he had the wealth of heart and life. And 251 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: every Sunday he would put on his one suit and 252 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:10,319 Speaker 1: polish his shoes and go into church, which is where culturally, 253 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 1: you know, people like him and like the people who 254 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 1: raised me, that was their one opportunity to s's up 255 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 1: and so I grew up seeing that, and I grew 256 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: up with my grandfather always wearing a beautiful hat. My 257 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: mother was a single mom at the age of nineteen, 258 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 1: but always now I would see her when she picked 259 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 1: me up from school, you know, or when she'd attend 260 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,440 Speaker 1: a PTA meeting at the time, that's what they were called, 261 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: you know, she would come put together. And so I 262 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 1: don't associated with an economic status. I don't associate it 263 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: with I miss it. I just miss I mean, listen, 264 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: I don't agree with the airlines that kick people off 265 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,200 Speaker 1: for having their shorts on. I'm like, what, you bought 266 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 1: your ticket, you wherever you want. I don't agree with 267 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:51,199 Speaker 1: the extremes of that, but I do miss the idea 268 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: of seeing, you know, people put themselves together. Maybe that's 269 00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,440 Speaker 1: the nostalgy and me it sounds a little bit like pride. 270 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: And I like that you brought up church because that 271 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense. It's the day and its respect. 272 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: It's pride, it's taking it seriously. And you know, I 273 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 1: was reading a lot about you. Unless I read incorrectly, 274 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: you're a little bit of a late bloomer. For obviously 275 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: motherhood and success. Is that true? Well, definitely with motherhood, UM, 276 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: clearly being forty eight years old and the first time mom, 277 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: I would say, I mean, it depends on how you 278 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: define success. Um, it depends on how you define it. 279 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: I was, um, the youngest reporter hired at the CBS 280 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: affiliate in Dallas, Texas, which is a top I guess 281 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 1: fourteen market. By the time I was twenty seven, I 282 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: was an anchor in Chicago of a four hour morning 283 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 1: show that was number one, and then I guess by 284 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 1: the time I was thirty seven thirty six. I don't 285 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: know how I became the first black woman to anchor 286 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: the Today Show and and so for me those are milestones. 287 00:14:55,560 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: But I I feel that I was successful the minute 288 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: I graduated from college and defied a lot of odds. 289 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 1: Being you really felt that my grandfather write his name, 290 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 1: you know, he signed his name with an X because 291 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 1: he was not able to read, and not because he 292 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: could not achieve that. It wasn't an opportunity afforded to 293 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: someone born in nineteen o one in southern Texas who 294 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: had to leave school to raise his family. He didn't 295 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 1: drop out of school to hang out. He dropped out 296 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: because he had to help his family on the farm, 297 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 1: and so for his granddaughter. Fast forward to nineteen two 298 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: to be able to graduate from Tipple University. Well, I 299 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 1: felt that I was successful then. So, and that's not 300 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: so long ago. I mean, that's what's crazy. It's not 301 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 1: that many generations away that you can say that he 302 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: couldn't write his name. That's yeah, you know, it's it 303 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: is reality, I mean, and that's why I do work 304 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: with literacy because even today we both live in New 305 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 1: York City, there are many many kids who get just 306 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: sent to the next grade, to the next grade, and 307 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: they're not able to read, and it's heartbreaking. So now 308 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: we're talking about nineteen o one and this was his story. 309 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: So when I graduated from Simple University, I certainly felt successful. 310 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: I mean, was I making millions of dollars? Know what? 311 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: Did people know my name? No? I was I able 312 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 1: to be a guest on the Bethany Franklin Show. Know 313 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:26,600 Speaker 1: that an accomplishment um of great proportions for my background 314 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 1: and for my family. Absolutely, So the whole way you 315 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: took note of these milestones because you I read that 316 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: you said you just sort of keep your head down 317 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: and keep going type of person. So I was wondering 318 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: if throughout your whole journey you were able to be 319 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: in the moment, be present and say wow. And it 320 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: sounds like you definitely were when you graduated college. But 321 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 1: you have so many things going on, and you've always 322 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 1: been multitasking and going from one thing to the next. 323 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 1: And it sounds like a lot of being a black 324 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: woman comes through in the way you feel about each 325 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: of these milestones, Like you're thinking about being a woman, 326 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: and you're thinking about being a black woman in particular 327 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: versus just I think they go hand in hand. I mean, listen, 328 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: we just celebrated the one hunt with your women's suffrage. Yeah, 329 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,880 Speaker 1: it's not like, you know, if we're all that far 330 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:18,879 Speaker 1: away from the fact that we couldn't vote in a 331 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 1: country that needs us now in so many ways. And then, um, 332 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,880 Speaker 1: keep the things on the rail, so keep the training 333 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: on the on the track. So I think, you know, 334 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: I'm like anybody else. I don't take myself too seriously. 335 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: I recognized the milestones that I faced, I recognized the 336 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,959 Speaker 1: journey that UM is before me and the challenges that exist. 337 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: But of course, my perspective and view through life is 338 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: being a woman, being a black woman, being a Southern 339 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 1: Black woman. I remember when I first joined news here 340 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: in New York and being in the newsroom, and I 341 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 1: jokingly said to a friend in Texas, they're all from 342 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 1: the same Upper West Side neighborhood of New York. And 343 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 1: I didn't made it for in a disparaging way, but 344 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:07,199 Speaker 1: I was stunned how few people were from outside of 345 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: this area. Many of them had gone to Harvard, which 346 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 1: is phenomenal, and Yale, and the same kind of pedigree 347 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: that existed in the newsroom on a national level that 348 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: I was quite surprised to see. Well, you are obviously 349 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: a tough woman. What kind of man even before you 350 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 1: were married, just throughout your process and having a good relationship. 351 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,479 Speaker 1: I read that your husband checks in on you and calls, 352 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,199 Speaker 1: and it sounds like you're having a beautiful, beautiful love 353 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 1: affair every day, which is is goals and inspirational. But 354 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 1: what kind of man can handle a tough, strong woman 355 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 1: like you who has so much going on. It could 356 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,679 Speaker 1: be intimidating, it could be emasculating. What kind of man 357 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 1: can handle that? I think A man who doesn't see 358 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 1: it that way, I don't think I'm tough. Actually, I 359 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: think i've I've fallen in line, um, you know with 360 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: most women. I mean, I think I'm resilient when I 361 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 1: need to be. I think that I'm direct when I 362 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: have to be. But I don't. I don't particularly. I 363 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,439 Speaker 1: remember years ago I interviewed Pedal Bell when I was 364 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: and she's now a great friend and a great supporter. 365 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 1: Years ago I interviewed her for my local news show 366 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 1: in Chicago, and I remember she happened to see the 367 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: teleprompter and it said, um, um sassy described her as 368 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 1: sassy or someone had written that, and she said, don't 369 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: say that. Don't read that. It was a commercial break, 370 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: and she said, don't call me sassy. And I like like, 371 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, what And she goes, I'm not sassy. 372 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: I'm a grown woman and I am. And you know, 373 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,199 Speaker 1: she goes on to say, you know what it was, 374 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, And it just was a 375 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 1: reality check for me and that when you know, we 376 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: speak up for ourselves, were tough, and that's that that's 377 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,880 Speaker 1: a negative thing. It's just I'm going through life day 378 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 1: to day, um picking up for myself appropriately and you know, 379 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: trying to um find the best way forward with kindness 380 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: but also being fair to myself because you think tough 381 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 1: and strong are very different words. I think tough and 382 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: strong are used against us, and you know, I don't. 383 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 1: That's so funny. I see the opposite side of that coin. 384 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: Here's you. You're not a black woman. Let me tell 385 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 1: that is correct, you know, the correct fell Obama famously 386 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,719 Speaker 1: talked about, you know, being seen as the angry black 387 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: whoa interesting. So tough and strong is different for a 388 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:42,639 Speaker 1: black woman. That's interesting perspective different. No, no, no, I 389 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: don't think it's different. I think it can be weaponized. 390 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 1: I think, just like you just talked about what kind 391 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:52,120 Speaker 1: of man can handle a tough woman, The implication is 392 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 1: there needs to be someone to handle that. I need 393 00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 1: someone to handle me so and I believe that. Yeah, 394 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: I don't know, you want to handle me. I need 395 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: someone to be on the journey because I'm not I'm 396 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 1: not to be handled. I don't think that every man 397 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: can be in a relationship with a woman who is 398 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,639 Speaker 1: so successful and what I believe to be strong and smart. 399 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 1: I think, I don't. I think that there is a 400 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 1: certain type of man or woman if you're in a 401 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,919 Speaker 1: you know, same sex relationship. There's a certain type of 402 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: partner that is required for that type of partnership, just 403 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 1: like in a being in a business relationship. Well, is 404 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,719 Speaker 1: there a certain kind of partner that you know that 405 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,120 Speaker 1: can handle a woman who is not successful? I mean, 406 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: or how do we how do we dicuss that? Probably? Yes, 407 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: there is. I think I think you have to be 408 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 1: more secure to handle a very successful woman. I think 409 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: not all people are secure, and I think a person 410 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: has to be very secure to be in a relationship 411 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:58,639 Speaker 1: with a successful, busy, you know, thriving, accomplished person. I 412 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 1: think it does take a certain hYP. Does that mean 413 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 1: he well, yeah, you know, I don't know. I mean, 414 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,679 Speaker 1: I love this conversation because I understand how you know, 415 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: one comes to that conclusion, But I I don't do 416 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 1: you feel at this you talked about sort of providing 417 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 1: for your family. I've I've read a bunch of articles 418 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,639 Speaker 1: that you've been, uh featured in, and do you feel 419 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 1: that you work for the passion the idea? Do you 420 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,439 Speaker 1: still do you have a good relationship with money? Because 421 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 1: I know that you've explained your history and so even 422 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,360 Speaker 1: having an education and being successful is in a major accomplishment. 423 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 1: So how do you feel about your motivation for doing 424 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: the things that you're doing still to provide for still 425 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: to to create a great life for your child, or 426 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,400 Speaker 1: solely driven on just the passion and the idea And 427 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 1: how far can you take this this journey? Well, it's 428 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 1: it's changed over time, I think. You know, when I 429 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: was single without a child, it was listen, as long 430 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 1: as I can have the things that I need, I'm okay. 431 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,359 Speaker 1: And not that those things were small that I needed. 432 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,920 Speaker 1: You know, I travel as much as anybody else and 433 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: and like the things that I like, the creature comforts 434 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: of life. Um, but I always felt early on in 435 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,119 Speaker 1: my career listen, you know, if I do it right, 436 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 1: if I keep my head down, if I work hard, 437 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,359 Speaker 1: then you know the money will come. You and I 438 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: both know. Pay equity is an issue, not just you 439 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,120 Speaker 1: know for women who work gig work jobs. It's across 440 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 1: the board and including a news which is not talked 441 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 1: about very much. So you have this huge pay disparity 442 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: and then it's still also falls largely along many other 443 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: lines as well. And so throughout my career I did 444 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 1: well and I would always say, you know, you get 445 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,400 Speaker 1: the first contract. I'm gonna get you on the second 446 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 1: and the third because I was going to work very 447 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 1: hard that first contract to be I've done that a 448 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: lot too, show them take it on the back end exactly. 449 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 1: I'm like I used to tell people, I'm gonna I 450 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,639 Speaker 1: go in with a number that I know I'm willing 451 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,199 Speaker 1: to take for that first deal, and after that I'm 452 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 1: going to go in and and negotiate or leave. Um. 453 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: And so that was early on and then once um, 454 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: I had my son, things change. You know, you start 455 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,919 Speaker 1: to work to make sure, especially if I can be 456 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,640 Speaker 1: quite honest, and I'm going to always be that with you. Um. 457 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,879 Speaker 1: You know, I'm an older mom and and you know 458 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: I it doesn't keep me up at night, but there 459 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,160 Speaker 1: are nights where I have that flash of oh my god, 460 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 1: you know, how long will I have him? How long 461 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 1: be there for him? And you know, I want to 462 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 1: make sure he's okay. Now, money doesn't make it all okay. 463 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,160 Speaker 1: I mean just what I read the whole story about 464 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 1: the so called Getty curse. You know, this wealthy family 465 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,880 Speaker 1: and they've been you know, you know, allegedly curse. While 466 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,640 Speaker 1: the one kid died of a drug overdose, another kid 467 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: had this issue. It's just they've had all the money 468 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,119 Speaker 1: in the world, but all of the tragedy, dude, you 469 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,680 Speaker 1: could imagine that came along with it. So I know that, 470 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,679 Speaker 1: you know, leaving my kid with this huge amount of 471 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 1: money is not going to sustain the quality of his 472 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:02,320 Speaker 1: life so much more than that. But obviously on the 473 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: on the on the base level, you want him to 474 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 1: be able to go to the college that he wants 475 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 1: to go to and set him up if you're not there. 476 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: And so I view it in a different way now, 477 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: um than I did, of course before I had him. Yeah, well, 478 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 1: I think I do that too. I turned fifty. You 479 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,200 Speaker 1: just turned fifty also, I think, yeah in September. Oh, 480 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 1: so I turned in November and I was in the 481 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,680 Speaker 1: bathtub with my daughter and she said, I make a cry. 482 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,679 Speaker 1: She said, you know, Mama, what about it my fiftieth birthday? 483 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: And I thought to myself, God, who knows if they're 484 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: making your fiftieth birthday, you know? And she cried and 485 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: I cried, and you know, so, but you know, you 486 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 1: have to be in the moment and try to just 487 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,120 Speaker 1: make it meaningful and be healthy. But we have those 488 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,439 Speaker 1: when you're when you have children. Later in life, you 489 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:51,639 Speaker 1: have these sort of irrational yet somewhat rational fears. You know, 490 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 1: it's called future tripping, and we do it at different 491 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: points for different reasons. You know, in your twenties, future 492 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 1: trip about am I going to get that big job 493 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,359 Speaker 1: that I want to go down a rabbit hole in 494 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 1: the middle of night. My minister has a saying where 495 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 1: she says, don't believe what you tell yourself about yourself 496 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,400 Speaker 1: at night. That's amazingly and that's something. And so because 497 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,399 Speaker 1: you're lying in bed and all these creepy things come 498 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,120 Speaker 1: into your mind, and so that happens with me with 499 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,359 Speaker 1: my son. But you know, going back to how I 500 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 1: was raised, my mother and I very close. Her mother 501 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 1: passed away when when she was only ten years old. 502 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 1: And so we want of us to know how long 503 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,880 Speaker 1: we're here, um. But you know, we also know science 504 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 1: and rationalize that we won't be here forever. And so 505 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,680 Speaker 1: those are the things that impact the way I view 506 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 1: money today and how I view um, even how I negotiate. 507 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 1: You know, when I go in to negotiate a deal 508 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,160 Speaker 1: right now, I just have a book deal and I'm 509 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,160 Speaker 1: working on a book. You know, I go in thinking 510 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: I'm not negotiating for me. I'm negotiating for my son. 511 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,959 Speaker 1: And that does allow me to go in in a 512 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,359 Speaker 1: different with a different level of directness and aggression that 513 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 1: I might not have gone in with tenures. Again, you know, 514 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,479 Speaker 1: the thing is, the word conversation has never been used 515 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,439 Speaker 1: so much and miss you so much because I have 516 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,640 Speaker 1: never seen a time where you cannot have a conversation 517 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,200 Speaker 1: like I. I will say something and someone will disagree 518 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 1: and it's cursing and you know, bullying, and and I'm 519 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,560 Speaker 1: okay with it. Not because I'm okay with it, but 520 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: because I watch people on social media then debating about 521 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 1: a certain issue, whether it's political or resolated. And I 522 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 1: watched them debating and it becomes this form where at 523 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,600 Speaker 1: least at least I can see where people are coming from. 524 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 1: I won't tolerate if if people are being you know, abusive, 525 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 1: but I like to see people sort of going back 526 00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: and forth. And I've had people say terrible things to me, 527 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 1: but I said, we can. We just need to be 528 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,880 Speaker 1: able to have a conversation. I can disagree with you, 529 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,639 Speaker 1: and that okay, because I will not learn if I 530 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 1: keep listening to the voices in my own head, like 531 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,360 Speaker 1: you talked about late at night. But I will learn 532 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,199 Speaker 1: if I understand why you feel differently than I do, 533 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 1: why you voted differently, that's okay. It just has to 534 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 1: be a conversation. And on the side, I went with 535 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: some people over to the side um in my messages, 536 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 1: and people really do want to be heard and they 537 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,439 Speaker 1: can change their perspective. I don't mean that they're going 538 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 1: to change their whole point of view. But when you say, 539 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 1: you know, if I said that I thought the voting 540 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,240 Speaker 1: the numbers, the gap was too wide, that I didn't 541 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 1: think it was gonna bridge the gap. And people really wanted, 542 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 1: you know, they wanted to be called officially and not 543 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,960 Speaker 1: for me to make any comments prior. And I said 544 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 1: to some people, okay, I give you that I will, 545 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 1: I will award you that no matter what I believe, 546 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: and you believe something different, that you want the hammer 547 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: to go down and the ref to call the fight 548 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 1: before something is said. And it was. It was good 549 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: because it was a learning experience for people who had 550 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: come at me for something that I said that I 551 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 1: really was behind. But it was learning experience for me, 552 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 1: and that people wanted just to have their moment in 553 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 1: court just to no matter what. So I think this 554 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 1: has to be we have to get into a place 555 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 1: where people can have conversations, and women are having really 556 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 1: negative conversations right now and more polarized than ever. Yeah, 557 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 1: I agree, Listen. I think for the most part, I 558 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: think people have good intentions. I I've always believed that, 559 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: and even on the darkest days, I believe that most things, 560 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: even the incident that you refer to, are born from 561 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: more awkwardness and just kind of misunderstanding them malice. I agree. 562 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 1: I think that one of the things I've learned from 563 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,680 Speaker 1: you know now thirty years of reporting and now having 564 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: this show for Tune app years is we have to 565 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: also stop trying to change people's minds. And I don't 566 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 1: like that casual let's agree to disagree. I think that's 567 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 1: very dismissive. I think when you approach a conversation, whether 568 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,440 Speaker 1: you're aware of it or not, so often we do 569 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 1: in hopes of change in someone's mind. I remember years 570 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 1: ago I did an interview with a congresswoman who at 571 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: the time was against same sex marriage, and she went 572 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,959 Speaker 1: on the tirade and I got a lot of negative 573 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 1: comments on Twitter from people saying, why didn't you call 574 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 1: her out? And and I said, but don't you want 575 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 1: to know where she stands so they can make an 576 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: warm decision about not to vote for her. You know, like, 577 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 1: we can't beat people down into lying to us. So 578 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,719 Speaker 1: now we have made them put on a mask, and 579 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 1: we've put them in this situation where they're they're masking 580 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 1: who they are, and then at some point they reveal 581 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 1: them true their true selves. So this is apply apply 582 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 1: in relationships in business and when I interview people whatever 583 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: it is. I mean, it's like suddenly you go on 584 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 1: a date and you keep telling the guy or a 585 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: woman who they are. Yeah, it goes well for a 586 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 1: short period of time, and then suddenly they pull that 587 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: mask off that they feel you have wanted them to wear, 588 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 1: and they reveal their suits. There's a movie that I love. 589 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 1: It's called The Devil's Advocate. Um it's Alpacita Movies, a 590 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: very old movie, I think, And I used to compare 591 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: that when I first moved to New York and I 592 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: called my mother and I said, oh, my gosh, what 593 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 1: is it like? And I said, my gosh, I feel 594 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 1: like people have all on these masks on And then 595 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 1: suddenly you pull them off on there these monsters behind 596 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 1: these masks. I didn't say that to you know, look 597 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: down on people. There were some who deserved to be 598 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: looked down, I'll be honest with you, but most unsettling. 599 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 1: It's unsettling. And so when we again created the show, 600 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 1: I said, you know, it's about taking off the masks. 601 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 1: Of course, you're going to wear some layer of a 602 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 1: mask to protect yourself, your family. I mean people said, oh, 603 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,480 Speaker 1: you kept your your pregnancy and your your marriage is secret. 604 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 1: I said, no, that was so secret. I was protecting 605 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: my privacy. I was starting out in a new relationship 606 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: with my husband, and I wanted our foundation to be 607 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: strong because I know the minute you come out in 608 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 1: the relationship, people are gonna do this and say this 609 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 1: and say that. So I wanted the foundation of our 610 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,160 Speaker 1: relationship to be strong. That agree with with Dan anything, 611 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: and so we're so excited to be in the relationship, 612 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 1: you rush out, you tell everybody so the worst, and 613 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 1: then that's the best in my opinions. And so you're 614 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,560 Speaker 1: all in a relationship together. Then you're in a relationship 615 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 1: with the country, and you're not able to build your foundation. 616 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,719 Speaker 1: So for us, I wanted us to build, you know, 617 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,560 Speaker 1: especially because we're interracial marriage. We are interfaith. I'm Christian, 618 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 1: he's Jewish. So many things just felt like we're hours 619 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: to build and it didn't belong to anyone else. Wasn't 620 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 1: a secret. I was just protecting our privacy, which is 621 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,960 Speaker 1: okay for anyone to do, but you know, for me, 622 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: and as it relates to the mass and and and 623 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 1: talking with people rather than going in with the intention 624 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: of changing their minds, I think that it is something 625 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,959 Speaker 1: that I work on personally and I also work on 626 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 1: professionally when I go into an interview and I'm talking 627 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 1: with someone. We had an interview with Stacy Schroeder, who 628 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,480 Speaker 1: I'm gotten herself into some trouble regarding race and what 629 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,400 Speaker 1: and I interviewed her and I said, you know, I'm 630 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: here to change your mind. I'm here to have a 631 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 1: conversation and point out, you know, what happened and why 632 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: people had the reaction, and ask her thought for questions. 633 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 1: But I'm not here to heal anyone. I jokingly say, 634 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,040 Speaker 1: I am not a Jan Levanzan. I can't fix my 635 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 1: own damn life, so I can't anybody else's. But I 636 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 1: can talk with someone and I do not. I try 637 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:31,080 Speaker 1: my best not to approach with conclusions or approach a 638 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: conversation where I'm here to change your mind. You're there 639 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:39,240 Speaker 1: to explore. UM. So, when you were not working for 640 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,800 Speaker 1: two years for the first time and you left the 641 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,920 Speaker 1: Today's Show, how was your did you find that your 642 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,080 Speaker 1: identity was connected to work more than you thought? Did 643 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 1: you feel depressed? How did it affect your life? Are 644 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,080 Speaker 1: we able to just place of yes and and just 645 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 1: live in the truth of what it was? I went 646 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: through upset, and I'll be honest with you. When I 647 00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 1: was eighteen years old, of friends, Mom gave me this book. 648 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 1: It's not even in production anymore. It's called A Path 649 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,960 Speaker 1: of Light, and those chapter stuff with me all those years. 650 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 1: I didn't know when it would really impact me. But 651 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: there was a line that said, you know who are 652 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,680 Speaker 1: you if there's no title under your business card? And 653 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: so since I was eighteen, I've been carrying this book 654 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,320 Speaker 1: around and this has been a part of my mantra, 655 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 1: just ever so lightly, not you know, not all deep thinking, 656 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 1: you know, it's just there in the back of my mind. 657 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 1: And when I um left UM the Today Show, I 658 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,960 Speaker 1: remember people calling saying, Oh my gosh, what happened? And 659 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,399 Speaker 1: I listened to the tone, and there were others who said, 660 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 1: you know, what's next? And I separated folks into two categories, 661 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,719 Speaker 1: the who died category because I'm like, nobody died, I 662 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 1: can live the fight another day, and those who were 663 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 1: inspiring and said what's next? So for me, you know, 664 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 1: I I woke up the next day. It was surreal 665 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,920 Speaker 1: in so many ways because it had been a goal 666 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 1: of mine in this accomplishment, as you well on what 667 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,319 Speaker 1: you get something you've been really striving for and it 668 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,400 Speaker 1: turns out not to be at all what you'd expected, 669 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,880 Speaker 1: and certainly didn't end the way expected. I went on 670 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,680 Speaker 1: about my way, and it was probably about three months 671 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:19,960 Speaker 1: in that I had my first wave of worry. Not depression, 672 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: you know, it's more of a oh manage, is it 673 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:25,080 Speaker 1: over again? And is it over? For me? You know? 674 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,560 Speaker 1: I was getting offerers, but they were offers that, you know, 675 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 1: maybe somebody who's in the business two years, you know, 676 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,879 Speaker 1: and are you getting me? You know? And I didn't 677 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 1: say that with bravado as much as again that that 678 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 1: what am I value? You know? What have I been 679 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,359 Speaker 1: doing this whole twenty eight years that you know, I'm 680 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:45,120 Speaker 1: getting this kind of you know offer. And so I 681 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,880 Speaker 1: was in Los Angeles and I remember this quote, whether 682 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 1: it was accurate or not, that I read about Jennifer 683 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 1: Aniston saying, um, during this period of hardship and her 684 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 1: personal life, she said, you know, you throw yourself a 685 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: pity party, and you get up and you move on. 686 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,640 Speaker 1: And and I thought, okay, you know what, let me 687 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,319 Speaker 1: throw myself a pity party. And I did in this room. 688 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 1: And then I went and I put on a swimsuit 689 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,360 Speaker 1: and I said, I'm gonna go. It's like three o'clock 690 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 1: in the afternoon. My pity party went a long time, 691 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 1: and I got up and I said, let me go 692 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 1: to the pool. And I walked to the pool alone, 693 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 1: which you know, again, is this so insecure moment, You're like, 694 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm going my life such a loser that I'm walking 695 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,359 Speaker 1: to the pool by myself in Hollywood Hotel. And I 696 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,839 Speaker 1: went to the pool and I sat down the two 697 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 1: other women to cross and just you know, I didn't 698 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: know them there on the other side of the pool, 699 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 1: and within about five minutes, who is now my husband, 700 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:41,040 Speaker 1: Stephen walked into the pool and yeah, and you met 701 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: your husband at your pity party. I met him right 702 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,239 Speaker 1: after I had thrown it and I'd gone into the 703 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:50,440 Speaker 1: pool area after the party. Well, that's crazy. Where was 704 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,320 Speaker 1: this It is in Los Angeles at the Sunset Marquis 705 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: and at the pool after the pity right after the 706 00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 1: pitty party. Literally, that's crazy. And I've known him just 707 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:04,440 Speaker 1: from that's energy. That is so cellular, that is so energy. 708 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 1: It is it is. And I had known him from 709 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,239 Speaker 1: a distance. He's in the business, and you know, he 710 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 1: just kind of been passing, oh hey, and he's always 711 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,520 Speaker 1: like odd but nothing. And I didn't think he was 712 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,200 Speaker 1: hitting on me, and I didn't think one way or 713 00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 1: the other about it. And we had mutual friends and 714 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 1: but never socialized or never spoken to one another. That's 715 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,919 Speaker 1: so nice. What But I have three things to say. 716 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 1: One is, if anything ever goes wrong in your life, 717 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,120 Speaker 1: I would be the friend who wouldn't have said what happened? 718 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:33,640 Speaker 1: And I wouldn't have said what are we doing next? 719 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,120 Speaker 1: I would have said, how are we having this moment now? Like, 720 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,400 Speaker 1: how are we going to make this moment just like 721 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,399 Speaker 1: this moment in the pandemic, How we're trying I'm trying 722 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 1: to make it into a place of yes and meditate 723 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,840 Speaker 1: and self care and sleep and nurture the time with 724 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,440 Speaker 1: my daughter. I would have been your in the moment friend. 725 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,880 Speaker 1: And the next thing that hit me was that I 726 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,400 Speaker 1: really believe you. You you gave yourself the pity party 727 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,080 Speaker 1: and you not. We're not energetically ready to meet someone 728 00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,839 Speaker 1: unless you close that door. But you probably wouldn't have 729 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,120 Speaker 1: had the space to nurture a relationship the way that 730 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: you had had you still been at the Today's show, 731 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 1: like knowing the grind that this business is. So it's 732 00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,279 Speaker 1: interesting that might have been a gift that you got 733 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:14,400 Speaker 1: the space on every level. Listen, Um, I probably wouldn't 734 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,360 Speaker 1: have gotten pregnant because I wouldn't have been trying in 735 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,520 Speaker 1: the stress and and the time that it takes, and 736 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 1: I would and I would have a show because I 737 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,160 Speaker 1: had to lose the show to get a show. You know. 738 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:28,719 Speaker 1: So at the time you're you're you know, I can 739 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,440 Speaker 1: say this the one feeling and I love that you 740 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 1: used were ankst because I definitely did that day despite everything. 741 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,960 Speaker 1: I have to be honest, there was never a moment 742 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 1: of fear, like I wondered how it's going to work? Out. 743 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,319 Speaker 1: I had a little ankst how it's going to work out. 744 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,920 Speaker 1: But going back to again a quote that I have 745 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,120 Speaker 1: no idea if he actually ever said it. Um, but 746 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,479 Speaker 1: Will Smith I read a quote once said something along 747 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,319 Speaker 1: the lines of, you know, life is a book. And 748 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,239 Speaker 1: the reason, the thing that's kept him going is he 749 00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,719 Speaker 1: is curious about the ending, and not the literal ending 750 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,160 Speaker 1: of God bye, but the ending. And so I've always 751 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,919 Speaker 1: looked at my life like like in that curious book way. 752 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,480 Speaker 1: It's it almost reminds me when I was younger and 753 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: my aunt, yeah, my made me the book argue there, God, 754 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,560 Speaker 1: it's me Margaret, and I remember that book. And so 755 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 1: I've often looked at my life like this, this book 756 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 1: and it's the journey, and I'm and and it has not, 757 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,760 Speaker 1: at least at that moment, been one of fear. Since 758 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 1: you are a professional journalist, interviewer who's been doing this 759 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,960 Speaker 1: for more years. And I even realized, So I apologize. 760 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,440 Speaker 1: Do you have any uh advice for me? Do you? 761 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,280 Speaker 1: I mean? Do you don't? Do you have any tips? 762 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,799 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? For you? You're outstanding? I mean, 763 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,879 Speaker 1: I have to say and I'm not and I don't. 764 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,279 Speaker 1: I'm not a big bs or. I think it's because 765 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,040 Speaker 1: this is the Texas texting and me, um, You've asked 766 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,840 Speaker 1: some of the most thoughtful questions that I've had in 767 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,719 Speaker 1: a long time. And that's refreshing because it is a 768 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,560 Speaker 1: reminder to me, even on my own journey, how you 769 00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 1: talk with people, how you speak with people, your intention 770 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 1: in the conversation all matters. And I felt it from 771 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,960 Speaker 1: the minute we started to talk. From you know, does 772 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,200 Speaker 1: a man know how to handle a woman like or 773 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,600 Speaker 1: I think it's it's it's a reminder of the value 774 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:17,160 Speaker 1: of a conversation. And so I appreciated I think you 775 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:22,120 Speaker 1: did a fantastic job of congratulations on everything, and I 776 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,920 Speaker 1: appreciate you. I appreciate you very much. Well, I appreciate 777 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,279 Speaker 1: you and the courage to have a baby later in 778 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,759 Speaker 1: life and go through that process and just really be 779 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,000 Speaker 1: positive about it. And I'm sure scared and and just 780 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,160 Speaker 1: what what a journey that is. I mean, I didn't 781 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 1: realize until yesterday exactly how busy you are so to 782 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,719 Speaker 1: take the time and let the conversation breathe. I really 783 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,279 Speaker 1: appreciate it so much, and there's so much takeaway and 784 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,560 Speaker 1: for women to learn so thank you from the bottom 785 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:52,719 Speaker 1: of my heart. Okay, take care of that. Bye. I 786 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,040 Speaker 1: know Termine Hall. I've met her. I met her in 787 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:59,399 Speaker 1: a in Mexico on vacation. I don't know that much 788 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,800 Speaker 1: about her. I just know that she's a successful journalist 789 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:06,719 Speaker 1: that's on television, that is a career woman. Smart. But 790 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:11,760 Speaker 1: I really this show makes me really sort of dive 791 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:15,960 Speaker 1: into people's lives personally, professionally and understand who they are, 792 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,680 Speaker 1: what makes them tick. And I've never done that in 793 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:22,560 Speaker 1: any arena before. I've learned about people in this industry. 794 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:28,120 Speaker 1: And talking to Timer was so interesting and challenging and 795 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:34,080 Speaker 1: thought provoking and inspirational. And I just feel with every conversation, 796 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,120 Speaker 1: I'm talking to somebody who has some similarities to me, 797 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:41,879 Speaker 1: some differences, uh, And I love it. I just love 798 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:46,480 Speaker 1: the fact that we come from different backgrounds, we have 799 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: different perspectives. We are literally less than two months apart 800 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:55,920 Speaker 1: in age. Uh. We have had children later in life 801 00:41:56,360 --> 00:42:02,240 Speaker 1: and have one child, and have been on this path 802 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:07,040 Speaker 1: to success which includes many different factors and elements and 803 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:12,440 Speaker 1: juggling and balancing and organizing and structuring and different perspectives 804 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 1: on a male driven business and paid differences and obviously 805 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,680 Speaker 1: she's a black woman in entertainment, and I'm a white woman, 806 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:29,880 Speaker 1: which means that I'm starting with a better hand, a 807 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,840 Speaker 1: better hand of cards, So I just I don't know. 808 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,960 Speaker 1: I thought the conversation was just really interesting because we 809 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,880 Speaker 1: come from different perspectives and have different viewpoints, and we 810 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:41,959 Speaker 1: both ended up meeting in the middle on so many 811 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,040 Speaker 1: things and having what we are talking about as being 812 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:47,839 Speaker 1: the most important thing it needs to happen right now, 813 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,600 Speaker 1: particularly with women, which is a conversation. And I think 814 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:57,040 Speaker 1: that this show just keeps giving me more more depth 815 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,239 Speaker 1: in the realm of conversation. So I love it. I 816 00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,040 Speaker 1: loved it. I thought she was really interesting and inspirational 817 00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:12,040 Speaker 1: and I'm grateful to have had her on today. Just 818 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:16,320 Speaker 1: Be is hosted by me Bethany Frankel. Our managing producer 819 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,800 Speaker 1: is Fiona Smith, and our producer is Stephanie Stender. Sarah 820 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,120 Speaker 1: Katnak is our assistant producer, and our development Executive is 821 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,160 Speaker 1: Yantara Roy. Just Be as a production of the Real 822 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:30,239 Speaker 1: Productions and Endeavor Content. This episode was mixed by Sam Bear. 823 00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,960 Speaker 1: To catch more moments from the show, follow us on 824 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,680 Speaker 1: Instagram and Just Be with Bethany