1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: He was kind of getting the vibe that I wasn't 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: really into it, and he's like, you know what, this 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: is great. I think you're very nice, but I'm not 4 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: going to come to dinner tonight because you know, I 5 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 1: kind of like you and it just seems like you're 6 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 1: not into it and that's fine, Like we could still be friends. 7 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,159 Speaker 1: And in that moment, I was like, shit, do I 8 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: like him? Oh? No, do I like him? Do I 9 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: have a crush on Bob Zaggett? 10 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 2: This is weird? 11 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 3: Hey, everybody, welcome to Off the Cup, my personal anti 12 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 3: anxiety antidote. And you think you know what I do 13 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,200 Speaker 3: because you can see what I do for a living. 14 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: I do it on television. 15 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 3: I talk about politics, but sometimes my job is very 16 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 3: weird and has me doing very weird things. So in 17 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 3: twenty sixteen, I was asked to help roast James Carville 18 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 3: the Rage in Cajun, the famed Democratic strategist at the 19 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,239 Speaker 3: Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. And I didn't totally know 20 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 3: what I was in for, but I joined. Let's see 21 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 3: Tucker Carlson, Paul Bagala, Jeff Ross, Al Sharpton, Jim Norton, Triumph, 22 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 3: The Insult, comic Dog and others to celebrate James Carvill, 23 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 3: but also like filfully, filfully denigrade him. And I mean, 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,759 Speaker 3: let's it was a dirty It was a dirty night, 25 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 3: and I'm just glad my parents weren't there and my 26 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 3: bosses weren't there. But I take my husband to this 27 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 3: and I go backstage before the thing, and I'm in 28 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 3: my dressing room kind of going over this filthy script 29 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,679 Speaker 3: that they have written for me to deliver about James Carvill, 30 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 3: and I hear a voice and he says, who let 31 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 3: you in here? And I turn around and it's Bob Saggott. 32 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 3: He was the master of ceremonies for that night, and 33 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 3: he could immediately tell how nervous I was to deliver 34 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 3: these very very off color remarks. And he squeezed my 35 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 3: shoulder and he said, don't worry, kiddo, nothing you say 36 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 3: will be worse than what we're going to say. And 37 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 3: he took the stage and indeed, when he introduced me, 38 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 3: said that he would have hit on me if my 39 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 3: husband hadn't been such a cock block. This is in 40 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 3: front of myt like people I have admired in politics 41 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 3: four years. But it was a memorable night and after 42 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 3: everything was done, we went backstage for a small after party, 43 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 3: and Bob couldn't wait to come over to us and 44 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 3: make sure that we were okay with everything that had happened, 45 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 3: and of course we were. And then, totally unprompted, he 46 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,920 Speaker 3: started gushing about a woman he was seeing. 47 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 2: He was so smitten and excited. 48 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 3: He pulls out his phone to show me a picture, 49 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: pictures of her, pictures of her travel adventures, her culinary creations, 50 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 3: all this stuff. He was so proud of her, and 51 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 3: he was so so in love. He just couldn't stop 52 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 3: talking about her to me and my husband, and I 53 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 3: think he might have even called her while we were 54 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 3: standing there and talking. He would go on to marry 55 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 3: her two years later, and as we know, just four 56 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 3: years later he died unexpectedly. But that woman that he 57 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 3: could not wait to talk about Kelly Rizzo. She's my 58 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 3: guest today and I could not be more thrilled. She's 59 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 3: an actress, producer, world traveler, host of Comfort Food with 60 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 3: Kelly Rizzo. 61 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 2: Kelly, thanks for being here. 62 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I say that just made me tear 63 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,919 Speaker 1: up because I knew that you and I had been 64 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,359 Speaker 1: connected a long time ago through Bob in some way, 65 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: but I forgot exactly how until you just recanted that 66 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:34,679 Speaker 1: story and retold that story because I remember so specifically 67 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: when he did that roast and we had just started dating. 68 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: We were very very new, but you know, we progressed 69 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: very quickly, like yeah, I think it was on our 70 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: first date ever, like we said I love you when 71 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: we were boyfriend girlfriend, Like I'm literally on our first 72 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: official date. It was crazy. So even though it was 73 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: a few months and we still were very close, and 74 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: I remember he was so excited to do that James 75 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: Carvil roast and to you know, be the MC and 76 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: he told me he met you, and I was like, oh, 77 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: I love Essie because he had been telling me, you know, oh, 78 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: there's this person here in this person and most of 79 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: the people I knew of, but when he said that 80 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: you were on the DAIS, I was like, oh my god, 81 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: I love her. And he's like, oh, she's so cool. 82 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 1: I met her and her husband and he gushed about you. 83 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: And now I'm finding out that he gushed about me, 84 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 1: and that just means so much to me that you 85 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: just told me that story. So thank you. 86 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 3: I'm so glad because my next question was going to 87 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 3: be Do you remember that, Like, did he talk to 88 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 3: you about that night, because oh, he he tours, he was, 89 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 3: you know, doing all kinds of cool things that could 90 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 3: have been just another night for him. For me, it 91 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 3: was obviously very memorable. So I'm glad that he that 92 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 3: it was memorable for him too. 93 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, he didn't know a ton of people in the 94 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: political world, and he didn't really, you know, pay too 95 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: much attention to that, and then that's why when he 96 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: brought you up, I was like, oh, oh my god, 97 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 1: I know her. 98 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 2: I love her. 99 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: And he did send me videos that night of triumph, 100 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,479 Speaker 1: like over his shoulder, being like hello, Kelly, you know, 101 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 1: like he was, and I was like, so, what is 102 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: going on? Like who is this guy that I'm daty? 103 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,119 Speaker 1: I think I think I remember. It was like Dana 104 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,119 Speaker 1: Carvey was there and John loved Miigel. 105 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, Bob Smigel was there, right. 106 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. He was sending me all these videos of all 107 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 1: of these people. You know, he had Dana Carvey do 108 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 1: something from Garth from Waynes World, and I was like, 109 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: oh my god, this is so exciting. But I remember 110 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: that night, so while I wasn't there, but he was 111 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: sending me all these videos, and it was so exciting 112 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: to like be included. 113 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 3: You were there, You were there in spirit, he was, 114 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 3: you were top of mind, and it's all you were 115 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 3: all he wanted to talk about. And I want to 116 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 3: talk more about Bob because. 117 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 2: We should ease. 118 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: I love talking about Bob and we're gonna. 119 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 2: But first I want to talk about you. You you 120 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,239 Speaker 2: grew up in Chicago. 121 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, my whole life until just seven years ago. 122 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 2: So what part. 123 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: I grew up in Lakeview, in the city, right near 124 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 1: Wrigley Field, and then right before high school we moved 125 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: up to Glen View, so the North Shore, and then 126 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: my family's now up in Lake Forest and Highland Park. 127 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 4: Uh. 128 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: But then I lived in the city in River Nor 129 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: and Lincoln Park for maybe fifteen years or so before 130 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: I moved out to. 131 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 3: LA My parents lived in Lake Bluff for some time. 132 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, while I was in. 133 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: College and very close to my parents. 134 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was obviously it's a lovely town. 135 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 3: And my best friend in college was a Cubs fan, 136 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 3: and so I went to school in New York, but 137 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 3: we would go now that my parents were living there, 138 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 3: we would go to Cubs games together, so I got 139 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 3: real familiar with Chicago, and I love Chicago. I'm from Boston, 140 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 3: and to me, Chicago feels similarly like a It is 141 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 3: a town that imprints on your identity, Like I'm Boston 142 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 3: is a very big part of bicultural identity. I feel 143 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 3: like Chicago's a similar kind of town. Do do you 144 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 3: feel that way? 145 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, Boston and Chicago, especially when you look at 146 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: Wrigley Field and Fenway, you know, like there are two 147 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 1: totally similar historical you know, references that kind of tie 148 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: the city together. And I'm you know, nor sider, Soakubs 149 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: fan too, not a soccer fan, so I think, yeah, 150 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: Boston and Chicago they have like deep like cultural ties, food. 151 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: You know, it was kind of a working class city, 152 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: but yet it's a beautiful city. So yeah, I could 153 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: see how the two cities are very kindred spirits. 154 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 2: Are you defensive about Chicago? 155 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, I am very However, I love New York. 156 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with New York. I would I lived in 157 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: Chicago for thirty eight years. I don't really see myself 158 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: living there again, but I could see myself living in 159 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: New York. And like my sister, for instance, my middle 160 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: sister Kristen, anytime I say anything like, oh, I love Chicago, 161 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: but I don't know, I see myself more in New York. 162 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: She's like, how could you How could you say that 163 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: about Chicago. It's the best city in the world. I 164 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: was like, it's the best city in the summer in 165 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: the world. You know. There are some limitations though, you know, 166 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: and I am a big Chicago fan. However, I also 167 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: like other places too, where some people are like Chicago 168 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: or die yeah Chicago, or buy right. 169 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 3: I got the same shit when I moved to New 170 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 3: York too, you know, from my Boston fan. But what 171 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 3: kind of things were you into as a kid? 172 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I was very much of a tomboy. I 173 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: was playing basketball with all the boys. You know, in 174 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: the nineties in Chicago, there was no bigger thing than 175 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 1: the Chicago Bulls. So I embraced that completely, where I'm like, 176 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: I'm a basketball player, this is what I do. So 177 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: I was very into that. It's so funny because people 178 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: just assumed that because such a big part of my 179 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: career now is food and travel, that that's something I 180 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: was into from a very young age, and I wasn't really. 181 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: I was just like all kids of the eighties, were 182 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 1: you know, we actually played outside, yeah, and had lives 183 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: where you know, we enjoyed hanging out with our friends 184 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: and didn't have our parents breathing down our necks all 185 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: the time. And yep. So yeah, just growing up, I 186 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 1: was just always, you know, pretty free spirited and definitely 187 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 1: a tomboy. And then it wasn't until I maybe was 188 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: in my twenties when I really started getting into travel 189 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: and food and then that became my passion big time. 190 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 3: What sparked you to get into that? What did you 191 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 3: maybe planned to do? How did your career arc start. 192 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: It's so interesting because I was in My family's been 193 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: in real estate for fifty years now, and so I 194 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 1: started off in real estate. So I was a realtor 195 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 1: in Chicago for almost twenty years and it was great 196 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,959 Speaker 1: because you know, when the market was great and we're 197 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: making a lot of money, it was great. And then 198 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: the market crashed and I'm like this sucks. Oh my god, 199 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: I hate this now. And I had gone through a divorce, 200 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: you know, twenty eleven, twenty twelve, something like that, and 201 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: I was hating real estate and I'm like, I just 202 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: need to reinvent myself. I need a whole reinvention, what 203 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: do I love of? What am I passionate about? This 204 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,079 Speaker 1: is when people were starting blogs, you know, back in 205 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: the day, like let's start a blog, and I'm like, well, 206 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: I know a lot about food, travel and music, and 207 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,959 Speaker 1: I love food, travel and music, and I think I'd 208 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: like to talk about that. So I just went online 209 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: and I bought Eat Travel Rock dot com and then 210 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,559 Speaker 1: I just started blogging, and I knew I really wanted 211 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: to do more on camera. And I started working with 212 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: this like really big country bar, country music bar in Chicago, 213 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,680 Speaker 1: and I was doing all their backstage interviews for them, 214 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: interviewing some of the biggest country artists in the world. 215 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 2: Cool. 216 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: And then that kind of turned into some other like 217 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: rock musician interviews, and then I was interviewing chefs, and 218 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,079 Speaker 1: then it just slowly I started phasing out real estate 219 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 1: and then phasing in to the Eat Travel Rock career, 220 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: and then it got to a point where that became 221 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: more of a full time gig. 222 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 3: I love travel, and we'll get into it, but I 223 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 3: always was a little bit jealous of people who got. 224 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 2: To travel for a living, travel hosts. 225 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 3: And you know, I was really into like sam Bras, 226 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 3: Samantha Brown, Yes, and Rick Steve's still that juggernaut. But 227 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 3: I also imagined it might be lonely, a bit lonely 228 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 3: sometimes to do so much travel on your own because 229 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 3: it's work. I mean, sometimes you get to bring your friends, 230 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 3: I'm sure, but like there's a lot of alone travel. 231 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 3: And I know, for me, when I'm traveling, sharing it 232 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 3: with someone, whether it's my husband or my parents or 233 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 3: my kid is so important, right, is it ever lonely 234 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 3: for you? 235 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: I will say that the vast majority of the trips 236 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: either yes, I bring a friend, or I'm with someone 237 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: for my you know, production crew or something, so I'm 238 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: never really alone. But the joke is, if I'm traveling 239 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: with let's say, you know, my director or producer or something, 240 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 1: I'm the only one on camera. So it always looks 241 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 1: like I'm alone, and it always looks like I have 242 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,719 Speaker 1: no friends. And so every once in a while when 243 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 1: I do get to bring a friend on the on 244 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: a trip, I get so excited because I'm like, oh, 245 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 1: it looks like I have a friend. It doesn't look 246 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: like I'm alone. People always like, God, what does she 247 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 1: do by herself all the time? You know? But I'm 248 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: even though behind the scenes I'm not alone, it looks 249 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 1: like I'm alone, so it's fun to then, you know, 250 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 1: make it look like I have some friends every yeah, 251 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: so yeah, it hasn't gotten lonely yet. I'm actually I'll 252 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: give you a little kind of sneak peek. Next week, 253 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: I'm taking my first ever international solo trip completely alone. 254 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: Man traveled a ton domestically alone for a lot of work, 255 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 1: but never internationally where I'm there the whole time by myself. 256 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,439 Speaker 1: So and that's where you're going. I'm going to Munich. 257 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: Oh so yeah, and I've never been. So it's only 258 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:07,199 Speaker 1: a quick, like three day trip, but it's my first 259 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 1: truly solo international trip. 260 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 3: Let me say this because the other thing I'm jealous 261 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 3: of is men. Men who you know I have all 262 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 3: these dude friends will be like, oh, I'm on a 263 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 3: business trip. I would just go to dinner by myself 264 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,439 Speaker 3: or a bar by myself. And as a woman, this 265 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 3: feels like luxurious, a luxury. I you know, I've done 266 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 3: a lot of solo travel for work, and I like 267 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 3: go to the hotel room. 268 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 2: And don't leave except for like my job. 269 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 3: And maybe I'm overreacting, but I don't know that I 270 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 3: would feel totally safe traveling by myself as a woman. 271 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 1: How do you feel, I Well, I mean, for the 272 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: most part, like I have friends who are quote unquote 273 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 1: female solo travelers, and they go everywhere and to some 274 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: places that I have zero desire to go to. Yeah, 275 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: and they still do it very safely usually for the 276 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 1: most part. Depending on where I'm going, I'm usually for 277 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: the most part, I go to safe destinations, you know, 278 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 1: Like I've traveled to Switzerland a ton of times. Like 279 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 1: Switzerland's as safe as it gets, you know. Yeah, But 280 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, I think. I don't want to say 281 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: like I have an edge, but growing up in Chicago, 282 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: I grew up and lived in some neighborhoods that were 283 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: not always the safest, and I was just so used 284 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: to that, you know, because I grew up in the city, 285 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: I didn't come from like the suburban bubble that so 286 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 1: many of my friends did. Sure, And I think because 287 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: of that, I've always just been super alert. I'm just 288 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: very aware of my surroundings. Yeah, you know, if a 289 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: stranger comes up to me, I'm not gonna be like, oh, Hi, 290 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 1: what's your name? You know, I'm very skeptical and like 291 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 1: the dinners by myself sometimes I really enjoy those. I 292 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: like being I just like being by myself a lot. Yeah, 293 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: and yeah, the safety issue is never too much on 294 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 1: my mind because I think I'm so aware and so 295 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 1: it's great. Yeah, you know, walking down a dark alley, 296 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: I mean, those are things that now I just I 297 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 1: just wouldn't do. Like I'm anyway right, for the most part, 298 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: I've done that in the past. For the most part. Nowadays, 299 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, I'm not going to rough parts 300 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: of town and walking alone at night. You know, you 301 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: just you learn better, you know. 302 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. 303 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 3: So when you if you're choosing the destination, what kind 304 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 3: of traveler are you? 305 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 2: Do you like to relax by the pool. 306 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 3: Do you like to go out and learn a culture 307 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 3: and explore the streets, go to the museums. 308 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 2: What's your vibe? 309 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm definitely more of an active traveler. I don't 310 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: love just sitting around. Obviously, if you're going you know, 311 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: if you're going to Hawaii and you're going to a 312 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: beach destination, it's fine to lay by the pool a 313 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 1: bit or go to the beach. But even so, I'm like, 314 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: I want to go scuba diving. I want to go 315 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 1: do this activity. I SI want to go explore, and 316 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: for me, it's all of the food. I want to 317 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 1: explore all of the food, all the indigenous cuisine, all 318 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 1: of the indigenous culture. You know, if I'm in Italy 319 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: or Spain or wherever I'm at. Tokyo. I was just 320 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: in Tokyo a few weeks ago, and all I wanted 321 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,640 Speaker 1: to do is just go eat everything and just explore 322 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: and eat. So for me, it's pretty active. Not a 323 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: big museum person really, but just seeing as much as 324 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: I can and really feeling as much like a local 325 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: as possible. I like to get peoples go and not 326 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: all the touristy spots. 327 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 2: Well, and that's why I love. 328 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 3: My favorite thing to do is to go to the 329 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 3: grocery store in all different kinds of international cities, right 330 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 3: because then it is local. 331 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 2: This is what real people who live. 332 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 3: There are doing and buying and eating, And that always 333 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 3: gives me a real taste of a place. Are you 334 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 3: like me in that everywhere you go you think briefly 335 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 3: about moving there? 336 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: This is so funny. Yes, yes, it depends on some locations. 337 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I could see myself leaving 338 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 1: here and then other places. I'm like, okay, three days, 339 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: I've had enough. But it's so funny. I took a 340 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,399 Speaker 1: trip not too long ago with my middle sister, the 341 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:16,360 Speaker 1: one I referenced earlier, and we went to Switzerland, Scotland 342 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 1: and Sicily, and I think there was another stop, like 343 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:25,359 Speaker 1: there was a layover on the way and every single place. 344 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 1: She's like, I'm moving here. Yeah, I'm moving here. I'm like, 345 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: we've been here ten minutes. I'm moving here. And I 346 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: knew that she didn't mean any of it, but she was. 347 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: She's like, I'm moving here. Like okay, sure you are, 348 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 1: so yeah. I think that's a very normal thing to 349 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: have that feeling. 350 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,440 Speaker 2: This is our red flag. 351 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 3: My husband and I share this wherever we go. It's 352 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 3: not we don't say it and not mean it. 353 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,239 Speaker 2: We mean it. 354 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 3: But the problem is we mean it everywhere. So like 355 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,400 Speaker 3: we went to Arizona for spring break. I also lived 356 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 3: in Arizona for a time. 357 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:53,679 Speaker 2: We love it. 358 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,880 Speaker 3: We got home, We're like, well, we need we need 359 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 3: an investment property in Scottsdale, so we called a realtor 360 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,880 Speaker 3: about that. Then we spent a month in Belgium. Our 361 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 3: retirement plan is to retire in Belgium. We're always looking 362 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,239 Speaker 3: at houses in Belgium. We go to Florida a lot, 363 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 3: to Amelia Island. We talk to realtors there. We don't 364 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 3: have the money, Kelly, for all these homes. 365 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,719 Speaker 2: We don't have one. Well, I don't know. 366 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 3: I don't even know if any of it's possible. But 367 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,880 Speaker 3: we treat it like we're serious buyers for everywhere we go, 368 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,680 Speaker 3: because I don't know, it's just in our mind. There's 369 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 3: like we would we would live everywhere, we would have 370 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 3: a house everywhere. 371 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,160 Speaker 1: See what happens to me is do you see those 372 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,880 Speaker 1: news articles a bunch where it's. 373 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 2: Italy will pay you, yes to move. 374 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: There, you know, one thousand dollars or whatever for you 375 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: to buy a house or no, they'll give you the 376 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: house for free and pay you a thousand dollars, you know, 377 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: whatever the amount is. 378 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:48,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 379 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: And every time I see that, I'm like, why don't 380 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,400 Speaker 1: I do that? And then I realized I just bought 381 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: a house in Studio City. It was only built in 382 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 1: nineteen forty eight, and I bought it. You know, it 383 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: was not a cheap house, and it's already falling apart. 384 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,679 Speaker 1: I'm like, why would I think that I could handle 385 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 1: a house built five hundred years ago in Italy that's 386 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 1: literally just a pile of rubble. And in my head, 387 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is a great idea, and I'm also 388 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 1: there to fix it. 389 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 3: But also, we are United States citizens, you know, I 390 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 3: don't I can't work over there. I don't know what 391 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 3: my job would be if I moved to Belgium full time. 392 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 2: But it does. 393 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 3: None of these things get in my way. 394 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 1: And I have the delusion of because my dad was 395 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,880 Speaker 1: born in Sicily, that I should get dual citizenship. Yeah, 396 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,920 Speaker 1: and that I've looked into it. It's actually a really 397 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: complicated process. 398 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,679 Speaker 3: So have I because my family's from Italy too, But 399 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 3: they have to have not become US citizens. 400 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: Right, So if they became a US citizen before nineteen ninety, 401 00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:00,560 Speaker 1: then you renounce your Italian citizenship, right. There was no 402 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: dual citizenship prior to nineteen ninety or ninety one or 403 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,560 Speaker 1: whatever the year is. So my dad came here in 404 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,399 Speaker 1: nineteen fifty five and became a citizen probably when he 405 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,160 Speaker 1: was in like nineteen sixty or something or fifty eight 406 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 1: in the fifties. And so when you became a citizen 407 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 1: at that time, you renounced your Italian citizenship and you 408 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,640 Speaker 1: could not hold dual citizenship. So because he renounced it 409 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 1: so long ago, even though I'm first generation, it's a 410 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,360 Speaker 1: much more complicated process to do it. Where let's say 411 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,199 Speaker 1: he became a citizen in ninety two, then there'd be 412 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: absolutely no issue. I could just get it like that, right. 413 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 1: He's so bummed about him, like, ugh, why did you 414 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: have to become a citizen, Like you go back then? 415 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,160 Speaker 1: Why didn't you wait? You know? But he's like, why 416 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: did you want to go back there? Do you how 417 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:44,360 Speaker 1: hard we work to get here? 418 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 4: You know? 419 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: He's like, you don't want to go back? I'm like, no, 420 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: I want to go back. 421 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 3: I've done all the same research and had the same fantasies. 422 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,200 Speaker 2: Did did you and Bob go on a honeymoon? 423 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: We went to Sicily. I took him to my dad's 424 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: hometown of Schmina, which is like right outside of Palermo. 425 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 1: It's like, OK, fifty minutes outside of actually right near Cotalleone, 426 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 1: like literally the next town over. Yeah, So I took 427 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: him there. 428 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 2: He was. 429 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: Slightly less than impressed. He's like, the whole town has 430 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,679 Speaker 1: like two teeth, like the in three or town. He's like, 431 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 1: the women have beards, like, like, what's going on? Yeah, 432 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: and he was it was a little too not four 433 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 1: season Z for him, like he likes the five star 434 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 1: travel and my dad's hometown still has goats walking around, 435 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: you know, And he's like, it was not for him. 436 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,159 Speaker 1: He enjoyed seeing where I came from, but he was like, 437 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 1: we don't have to come back here, right, we don't 438 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: have to come back, Bob. I hope none of my 439 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: Sicilian because I still have a lot of family there. 440 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, I hope there. Let's just leave this part 441 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: up for when this airs in Sicily. Hopefully they don't 442 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,640 Speaker 1: listen to this party language barrier lost exactly and they 443 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 1: do not speak English, so that works up great. But yeah, 444 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,199 Speaker 1: we went to Sicily and then we went to London 445 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 1: in Paris, where he was much happier. 446 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,400 Speaker 2: So nice. So how did you guys? How'd you guys 447 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 2: meet we? 448 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 1: Actually, I'll give you the real story. He saw me 449 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: on Riah, so we were on the dating app. I 450 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,880 Speaker 1: didn't see him because he was not in my age range. 451 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 1: I think I had, like you know, at the time, 452 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 1: I was thirty six, thirty seven and yeah, thirty seven, 453 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 1: and I probably had my limit at forty five or something. 454 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,760 Speaker 1: Who knows that he was fifty nine at the time, yeap, 455 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: And but he told me that I think he was 456 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,880 Speaker 1: able to lie and he put his age at fifty, 457 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 1: which I don't know how he was able to do that, 458 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 1: but anyway, point is I still never saw him on there. 459 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: But then he went to my Instagram and then reached 460 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,160 Speaker 1: out to a mutual friend in Chicago who's in Chicago 461 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: media and was like, Hey, do you know this girl 462 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 1: Kelly Rizzo? And he was like yeah, And Bob goes, 463 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,879 Speaker 1: is she a bitch? And and he's like, no, I 464 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 1: think she's really nice. Because I think Bob was just 465 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,439 Speaker 1: so used to, like, you know, meeting a lot of 466 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,160 Speaker 1: people who weren't very nice, and he was like, wait, 467 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:24,679 Speaker 1: here's this midwestern gal, like hopefully she's nice. And this 468 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 1: guy was like, yeah, she's nice, and Bob's like, I'm 469 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: going to send her a DM. So this guy messaged 470 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 1: me and was like, hey, Bob, Sagat's gonna send you 471 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: a DM. And I was like, oh why. I was 472 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,879 Speaker 1: just not interested at first, like it was not my type, 473 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 1: too old, and it was just weird. I was like, 474 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 1: even though you know, I wasn't like a Full House 475 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 1: super fan, but like I watched Full House like who Diah? 476 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: And you know, I hadn't followed his career recently, but 477 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 1: I was like, that's just weird, Like he's too much 478 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 1: like I used to watch him as a kid on 479 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: like America's Fund of his home videos. Like, but he 480 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,080 Speaker 1: sent me a DM and it was just very charming 481 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,040 Speaker 1: and kind of funny, asking like to invite me to 482 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 1: a show, and he's like, I'll take you out for 483 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,160 Speaker 1: burgers and lobsters. I see you're a foodie or something 484 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: like that. Oh, and then we were just friends for 485 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: a while, and then for a couple months we just 486 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,639 Speaker 1: went back and forth and you know, talked and texted. 487 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 1: And then I came out to LA and I was 488 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: with like my manager at the time and her assistant, 489 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 1: and we went out to like four dinners, but all 490 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: of us it was a bob with me and my 491 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 1: manager and her assistant, so it was not alone time. 492 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,239 Speaker 1: And he was kind of getting the vibe that I 493 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 1: wasn't really into it. And then he's like, you know what. 494 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, you have your whole team with you every time 495 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 2: you go out. 496 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's like, you know what, this was great. 497 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: I think you're very nice, but I'm not going to 498 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,199 Speaker 1: come to dinner tonight because you know, I kind of 499 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 1: like you and it just seems like you're not into it. 500 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 1: And that's fine, like we could still be friends. And 501 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: then at that point I was like, yeah, he was 502 00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: very mature and which he had said, he's like he 503 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,679 Speaker 1: would have met me ten years ago. I would not 504 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,120 Speaker 1: have been like that, okay, but he's like, so, yeah, 505 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:05,479 Speaker 1: I'm not going to come to dinner tonight. And in 506 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 1: that moment, I was like, shit, do I like him? Oh? No, 507 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 1: do I like him? Do I have a crush on 508 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,639 Speaker 1: Bob Saggitt? This is weird anyway? So I was like, 509 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: what if I am interested? He's like, what time is dinner? 510 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 1: So then then after that it was like, all right, 511 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,000 Speaker 1: we're we're just gonna it's on, Yeah, it's on literally, 512 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,199 Speaker 1: and then that was it, and then I moved to 513 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: La like ten months later, and then we got engaged 514 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 1: ten nine months after that or something. 515 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I need to tell people something because for our generation, 516 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,920 Speaker 3: you mentioned how we know Bob Saggitt, Danny Tanner. 517 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 1: I just wish I could show dj that I'm as 518 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 1: hip and cool as you guys are. 519 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 2: Danny, you don't have to be hipp and cool your 520 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 2: spic and spam America's funniest home videos. Now you are 521 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,520 Speaker 2: in for a tree tonight. 522 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 1: We've got a lady who sleeps with a stuffed most, 523 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: a boy who makes face noises, and a man who 524 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 1: plays dueling banjos with his ears, and they say there's 525 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: no quality. 526 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,160 Speaker 2: He was America's dad. 527 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 3: I saw The Aristocrats in my early twenties. Okay, and 528 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 3: if people haven't seen this movie, it's documentary featuring every famous. 529 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,200 Speaker 2: Comedian you've ever heard of is in this movie. 530 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:18,919 Speaker 3: And the documentary tells the story of one joke. The 531 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 3: punchline is always the Aristocrats, but every comedian has their 532 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 3: own spin on telling this joke. It's great, everyone should 533 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 3: watch it. But I think what is most memorable for 534 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 3: people coming out of watching The Aristocrats, which I saw 535 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,880 Speaker 3: in theaters in New York City, was how filthy Bob 536 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 3: Saggatt was like philthy, the bluest of blue comedy, and 537 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 3: it showed a very different side of him to people 538 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 3: who weren't used. 539 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 2: To like his stand up. And obviously after that. 540 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 3: You know, he kind of capitalized on that, you know, 541 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:57,199 Speaker 3: with a role in Entourage playing Not America's Dad. So 542 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 3: it was an incredible new way to see Bob Saget. 543 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,679 Speaker 3: But I imagine when it's just you two your home, 544 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,440 Speaker 3: he's not on stage, there's no cameras. 545 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 2: Like, what's the actually, what's he actually like? 546 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 1: It's so funny because he truly is like a mix 547 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: of all of that put together. 548 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:19,760 Speaker 5: You know. 549 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,800 Speaker 1: He definitely had his Danny Tanner side. He loved hugging people, 550 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:28,200 Speaker 1: and he was a clean freak, like a psycho clean freak, okay, 551 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 1: and that was very real for him. And also he 552 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 1: had a little bit of his Entourage side. I like 553 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,200 Speaker 1: every day he would be in the hot tub smoking 554 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,679 Speaker 1: a cigar and had his robot, you know, like he 555 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 1: had that. He was that guy too. The thing that 556 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:48,399 Speaker 1: he was really kind of irritated about was people thought 557 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: that when they got to you know, saw the Aristocrats, 558 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,960 Speaker 1: or when they saw his comedy, They're like, Bob Sagget 559 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,679 Speaker 1: became dirty. He got dirty, And he was always like, 560 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,640 Speaker 1: this is always who I was. A family TV guy 561 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,679 Speaker 1: was not who he was really, right, he had some 562 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 1: of those elements to his personality, as I said, you know, 563 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 1: the Danny Tanner like he was really warm and fuzzy 564 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,760 Speaker 1: and cuddley and cozy. But he was doing this type 565 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 1: of comedy when he was seventeen, eighteen, nineteen years old. Yeah, 566 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,080 Speaker 1: and so he's like, this is who I've always been. 567 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,080 Speaker 1: People just didn't know me for that before, and now 568 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 1: when I'm being who I am, people are like, oh, 569 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: Bob got so dirty and then and he really wasn't 570 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: that Aristocrats was absolutely filthy. Okay, that's a different story, 571 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 1: but in general in his comedy, he's like, I'm really 572 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 1: just like a teenage boy who found out that they 573 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 1: could tell dirty jokes for the first time. 574 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:41,760 Speaker 2: Right. 575 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: They weren't like sexual, they weren't. It was more like 576 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: toilet humor type stuff, right, you know, And it was 577 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 1: funny to him. His dad made jokes like that to 578 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: him growing up, and so it was just funny to him. 579 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: And so that's just what he did. So he encompassed 580 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 1: all of those kind of personas. But yeah, who he 581 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: was at home, he was just endlessly obsessed with just 582 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,840 Speaker 1: wanting to make people happy and entertain people. And so 583 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 1: even at home he was always you know, yes, he'd 584 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: be cracking jokes with People'd be like, oh, you live 585 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 1: with the comedian, Like you just must be laughing all 586 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 1: the time. I'm like, who knew to knew? Comedians are 587 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 1: dark afy? You know, comedians are some of the darkest, 588 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 1: most neurotic, deep thinkers that you've ever met. I mean, 589 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,440 Speaker 1: Bob was very introspective. He was very deep, and he 590 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,800 Speaker 1: had a very hard childhood, and he had so much 591 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 1: death in his life. Both of his sisters died at 592 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 1: young ages, he lost both of his parents, so he 593 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,040 Speaker 1: had a lot of death, a lot of darkness. And 594 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: so even though he was an optimist and he was 595 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: always trying to be happy himself and then make people happy, 596 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 1: there was always that, you know, kind of sadness and 597 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 1: darkness that was there too. So he was always trying 598 00:29:55,520 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: to manage all of that, and he ultimately was just 599 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: a person who truly just wanted to make the world laugh, 600 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 1: make people happy outside and in his own home. 601 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 3: Well, And was that when you live with someone who 602 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 3: just wants to make people happy, that can be a 603 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 3: lot of pressure on you. 604 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 2: Was that a lot of pressure? 605 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 1: No, because I knew it's interesting when you get to 606 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,719 Speaker 1: know somebody when they're sixty years old, Like they are 607 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 1: a very established person in their own right. And I 608 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 1: knew who he was and I saw him for who 609 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 1: he was. And that's something that was so important to 610 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: him was that he had never really felt understood by, 611 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 1: you know, anyone he was in a relationship with, and 612 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 1: I like really understood him. So that was something why 613 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: he was so appreciative of our relationship. He's like, you 614 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: get me. No one ever gets me. And I just knew. 615 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is I mean, he drove me nuts, 616 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: but like I'm like, but this is who he is. 617 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 2: He needs to. 618 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 1: Entertain, he needs to perform, He needs to make people happy. 619 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: And so you know, if he had to like leave 620 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 1: for several days to go on tour, to go do 621 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,120 Speaker 1: a show, and then call me afterwards and explain for 622 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: two hours why it was such an important show or 623 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 1: why he did what he did, Like, I was just 624 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 1: so happy for him that he got to do what 625 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: he loved. Yeah, and then also just taking care of people. 626 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 1: He just really took care of people friends. I Mean, 627 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,480 Speaker 1: you could be somebody who wasn't even that close to him, 628 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 1: and you could be like, oh, I have this medical issue. 629 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: He's like, I got a doctor for that, let me 630 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: hook you up. I've got the right guy, let me 631 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: take care of it, and two seconds later you have 632 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 1: an appointment with this doctor. 633 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 2: He was just really just a really. 634 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: Good, loyal friend and just like just a caretaker, you know. 635 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: And he had three daughters and he it was his 636 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 1: whole life's work to take care of them and to 637 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 1: be a good dad, and so, you know, and he 638 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: always liked to say not DJ Stephan Michelle, but he 639 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:55,840 Speaker 1: had three real daughters, and you know, he just all 640 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 1: he cared about was just being a good dad. And 641 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: he had finally learned, you know, because he was married 642 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 1: before and had relationships in between. And he was just 643 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,160 Speaker 1: so proud of the fact that in his sixties that 644 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: he finally was able to find love and be with 645 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 1: someone and actually have like a mature relationship because you know, 646 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: he wasn't always. He said, He's like, if you would 647 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 1: have met me ten years ago, you would not have 648 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,560 Speaker 1: liked me. It had done a lot of work on himself, 649 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:20,840 Speaker 1: you know. 650 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 3: Well, and getting married is explicitly and inherently about a future. 651 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:35,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then he obviously died way too young, and 652 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 2: you were very young. 653 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, in your early forties, what did it 654 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 3: feel like to have your future snatched away? 655 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, And on the morbid ish kind of side, I 656 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 1: did anticipate becoming a slightly younger. I hate the word 657 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: widow widow, you know, I just I didn't think it 658 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: was going to be in my forties. But I thought 659 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 1: it would be maybe, you know, I'd be sixty or 660 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: something or sixty five and he'd be eighty five or not, 661 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,440 Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, And then there were times that I 662 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 1: would always be like, you know, because you know, one 663 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,360 Speaker 1: day you'll probably go before and he was like, what 664 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:21,920 Speaker 1: are you talking about. I was like, look, I have 665 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,600 Speaker 1: a longevity that runs in my family. I could be ninety. 666 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 1: I was like, you're probably not going to be one 667 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 1: hundred and fifteen. And he's like, you don't know that 668 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:29,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to be one hundred and fifty. Like he 669 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: would always think. He's like, I'm going to outlive you. 670 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to be over one hundred. I'm like, God, 671 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 1: bless you. I hope. So you know what I mean. Yeah, 672 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: but I did anticipate that if natural life span was 673 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: going to live, you know, play out, that i'd be 674 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,880 Speaker 1: losing him at a slightly younger age than I would 675 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: have hoped. I just did not think it was going 676 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 1: to be three years into our marriage, you know what 677 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: I mean. Like that was just so shocking, and it 678 00:33:54,080 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: was really strange. It was a very strange, disorienting. You'll 679 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 1: just very disoriented because you're like, wait, I don't have 680 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 1: I remember even that first day. I don't even know 681 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,440 Speaker 1: if I like talked about this publicly, maybe only to 682 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,960 Speaker 1: a canvas because she was the first person who got 683 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:19,319 Speaker 1: to my house that day. And I remember just being like, 684 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:21,799 Speaker 1: I don't have a husband. I mean, obviously I was 685 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 1: like barely coherent and not functioning and like crying hysterically 686 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: the whole time. But I remember just being like. 687 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,359 Speaker 6: I don't have a husband anymore, Like what, I don't 688 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 6: have a husband, but I'm in his house and all 689 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,400 Speaker 6: of his stuff is here, and he just left for 690 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 6: a few days and he's never coming back, and like, 691 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,240 Speaker 6: I don't have I remember just saying over and over. 692 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 1: And people were like, oh God, how do we help 693 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,120 Speaker 1: her with this? Because you know, I was just saying 694 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,719 Speaker 1: like I don't have a husband anymore, and like that 695 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,120 Speaker 1: was so shocking, and then also being like wait, so 696 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: I'm a widow and I'm forty at the time, I 697 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,080 Speaker 1: was forty two, and I'm like, now what I was like, 698 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 1: so one day I have to like start dating again, 699 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,760 Speaker 1: like what like, but I'm a widow, Like is anyone 700 00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,360 Speaker 1: ever going to want to date a widow? Like you 701 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 1: just have this weird identity crisis? Yeah, so this is 702 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 1: who I am now and this is and I was like, 703 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,240 Speaker 1: but I feel like the same person. I don't feel 704 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,720 Speaker 1: like a widow. Yeah, but I don't know my husband anymore. 705 00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,840 Speaker 1: There's it was this like circle that I just I 706 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,879 Speaker 1: was like, but I still feel like me, but I'm 707 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 1: not me and I went through this but I still 708 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,120 Speaker 1: but I'm a happy person. I want to be happy. 709 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 1: So how do I do that? How do I reconcile 710 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,480 Speaker 1: all this? It was very strange, and then it just 711 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,839 Speaker 1: takes time and it kind of works itself out, and 712 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: then you know, I've learned so much about grief and 713 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:37,720 Speaker 1: I've spent so much time with other widows, especially young widows. 714 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,800 Speaker 1: Like very early on, I became very close with Amanda Klutes. 715 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 1: Katie Kuric became a really really trusted, wonderful friend to 716 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: me because she had lost her husband the same age 717 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,880 Speaker 1: that I was Wow, and you know, I was just 718 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,680 Speaker 1: surrounded by people who got it, who understood, who were 719 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,200 Speaker 1: so helpful, and so I learned so and then doing 720 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,880 Speaker 1: my podcast, I've talked to so many people who've gone 721 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 1: through it. So now it's you know, you process it 722 00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,720 Speaker 1: and you understand it and you grasp it and then 723 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: you just get to a place of you know, I 724 00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:10,040 Speaker 1: accepted it pretty early on, but it's there, it's still 725 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:10,960 Speaker 1: a process. 726 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:17,920 Speaker 3: How do you think that loss impacted your mental health? 727 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:22,480 Speaker 3: Not in the moment, but long term. 728 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 1: It's so interesting because I was a big worrier. Like 729 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: I had a lot of worry problems and kind of 730 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 1: anxiety that came from worry. Yeah, Like ever since I 731 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 1: was a little kid, I always thought my parents were 732 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,760 Speaker 1: going to get killed in a car accident or something 733 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 1: like horrible tragic would happen. And I remember I was 734 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: always so worried, and Bob would always say to me, like, 735 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,760 Speaker 1: stop worrying. You're going to give yourself an autoimmune disease. 736 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 1: You're going to give yourself cancer, You're going to give 737 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 1: yourself a disease. Stop worrying. It's bad for you. None 738 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,880 Speaker 1: of this stuff. You're worrying about ever happens, and so 739 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,279 Speaker 1: I would of course worry about him all the time too, 740 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:57,880 Speaker 1: like if I couldn't get a hold of him, like 741 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,239 Speaker 1: did he get a car accident? Did he you did 742 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,800 Speaker 1: something happen? Did you know he was a little bit older, 743 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,440 Speaker 1: I was like, did God forbid? Like did he have 744 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 1: a heart attack? Like if and he was so responsive, 745 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,399 Speaker 1: like if ten minutes went by whatever, or I didn't 746 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 1: hear from him, something was weird, you know, unless I 747 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,920 Speaker 1: knew he was like filming something or whatever. But for 748 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:21,279 Speaker 1: the most part, he was always on it. So the 749 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 1: strange thing is because he had been telling me like 750 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 1: stop worrying, You're gonna kill yourself, Like, stop worrying. That 751 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:32,520 Speaker 1: day on January ninth, twenty twenty two, when I couldn't 752 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,439 Speaker 1: get a hold of him, it was literally the first 753 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,319 Speaker 1: time where normally I would start like immediately spiraling, yeah, 754 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 1: like something happened, something happened. That day was the first 755 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:44,840 Speaker 1: day that I was like, calm down, Kelly, I'm sure 756 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,760 Speaker 1: everything's fine. This is like, you know, nothing ever happens, 757 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,480 Speaker 1: All the things you worry about never come true. Everything's fine. 758 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 1: There's an explanation why he's not answering, and then of 759 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,120 Speaker 1: course it was like the worst absolute day of my 760 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 1: entire life and the worst thing that could have happened. 761 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 1: So then I was like, Okay, well that's kind of bullshit. Now, 762 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:11,560 Speaker 1: like now you can't tell me don't worry because the 763 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,200 Speaker 1: bad thing never happens. I was like, it did happen, yep. 764 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,359 Speaker 1: But then there's the mentality of, well, but it happened once. 765 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,479 Speaker 1: What are the odds anything like that would ever happen again? 766 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: So like maybe now, maybe I'm good forever now and 767 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 1: I can just live my life because nothing like that's 768 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,760 Speaker 1: ever gonna happen again. So that has been a little 769 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:33,080 Speaker 1: bit of a mental situation of trying to navigate like 770 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 1: anxiety and worry. Yeah. Like now, even like I have, 771 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,160 Speaker 1: you know, loved ones, if they're trying to, let's say, 772 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:44,399 Speaker 1: do an extreme sport or you know, do something, I'll 773 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:45,560 Speaker 1: be like, can you please not do that? 774 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:45,960 Speaker 2: Please? 775 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,320 Speaker 1: And they have a very specific empathy for me because 776 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: they're like, we get why you would be concerned. 777 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:56,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know, I relate more than you know 778 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 3: that what you're describing is very much my anxiety as well. 779 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,880 Speaker 2: I catastrophize and at my worst. 780 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 3: I do it intentionally, and I do it because in 781 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:12,880 Speaker 3: my irrational, disordered mind, I think if I don't catastrophize 782 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,560 Speaker 3: and imagine the worst thing happening, then it will happen. 783 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,640 Speaker 3: And the second I relax and say I'm not going 784 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,320 Speaker 3: to worry, I'm sure everything's fine, is going to invite 785 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:24,160 Speaker 3: the bad thing. 786 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,080 Speaker 1: Right, And if you're on edge, well then you're probably okay. 787 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,720 Speaker 3: Well, And that's the thing, and prepare. That's the liar 788 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,799 Speaker 3: of anxiety. It tells you that you're only safe when 789 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:38,120 Speaker 3: you're worrying, yes, And if you're not worrying, you are 790 00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:38,880 Speaker 3: not safe. 791 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 2: And of course that's not true or real. 792 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,960 Speaker 3: But it has been the struggle of my life, Kelly, 793 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:51,560 Speaker 3: to try to undo those habits where I would catastrophize, catastrophized, 794 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,680 Speaker 3: catastrophize because I thought it kept me safe. 795 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,240 Speaker 2: Yes, And it's the heart for me. The hardest. 796 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,799 Speaker 3: It's been the hardest thing to do my mental health 797 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,360 Speaker 3: journey because I had a nervous breakdown from anxiety a 798 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:07,680 Speaker 3: few years ago and learning my triggers, stopping myself from 799 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:12,319 Speaker 3: these catastrophic thoughts, telling myself you're not inviting it, you know, 800 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:16,760 Speaker 3: just because you say everything's fine, doesn't doesn't have anything 801 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,360 Speaker 3: to do with what's going to happen or not. But 802 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 3: it's really hard, yeah, to keep telling yourself that when 803 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,399 Speaker 3: bad things have happened. I cover a lot of bad 804 00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:28,800 Speaker 3: things in the news, so my brain is completely broken 805 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,440 Speaker 3: in terms of the way it sees the world. And 806 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,560 Speaker 3: I think, well, who are you to tell me a 807 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,760 Speaker 3: bad thing can't happen? I just covered seven of them today. 808 00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:40,880 Speaker 1: You know, why am I so lucky that none of 809 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 1: this should ever happen? 810 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:42,600 Speaker 2: And why am I special? 811 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:42,879 Speaker 3: Right? 812 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,759 Speaker 1: See? I can really, I mean, I empathize with that 813 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:47,920 Speaker 1: so much, the catastrophize it. I mean, there are things 814 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 1: that go on in my brain sometime where I'm like, 815 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,360 Speaker 1: if anyone knew what I was actually thinking about right now, 816 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,920 Speaker 1: they would be like, you're insane, Like why would you 817 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,759 Speaker 1: think that that would ever happen. That's not a thing 818 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:57,840 Speaker 1: that happens. 819 00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 2: You know, I do know. 820 00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,279 Speaker 3: I mean I think about out okay, like readiness, what 821 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:03,920 Speaker 3: if a plane crashed into my house. 822 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,320 Speaker 2: I've had that thought, Kelly, probably more than a dozen times. 823 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:12,200 Speaker 3: That's never gonna happen, But in my mind it spirals, 824 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,280 Speaker 3: and if I'm not covering every base all the time. 825 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:19,440 Speaker 3: I feel like I feel on edge. And that's why 826 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,000 Speaker 3: Bob is right. My therapist told me you're. 827 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:22,720 Speaker 2: Gonna get a heart attack. 828 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 3: You're gonna have a heart attack because you're not meant 829 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:29,400 Speaker 3: to have this adrenaline fight or flight happening. Yeah, chemically 830 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,600 Speaker 3: in your body all the time. 831 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,840 Speaker 1: I will say that, Yeah, just the increased cortisol levels 832 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:39,760 Speaker 1: are just so bad for you, and bad I Lately, 833 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:44,040 Speaker 1: I have felt very relaxed. I've been so much better 834 00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,560 Speaker 1: about I mean not every there's still stupid things that 835 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: pop in my head that I'm like, oh what about this? 836 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,800 Speaker 1: But for the most part, I've been pretty chill lately 837 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:55,000 Speaker 1: to where it's funny because I'll have, you know, a 838 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,240 Speaker 1: family member or friend be like really anxious or nervous 839 00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:00,200 Speaker 1: about something. I'm like, just relax, man, Like do you 840 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,600 Speaker 1: so worried about? Like everything is great? And they're like, uh, 841 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,040 Speaker 1: do you remember, like you you have your life leading 842 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,879 Speaker 1: up until now. I'm like, oh yeah, but hey, still, 843 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,759 Speaker 1: if you can still give the good advice, you can 844 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:13,799 Speaker 1: give the good advice you. 845 00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:17,160 Speaker 3: Know well, and I you know, I discovered a really 846 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,279 Speaker 3: important trick for me, and maybe this will help you too. 847 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 3: Telling someone who's anxious to relax or calm down. 848 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, not good. 849 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,480 Speaker 3: Uh, it will makes me more anxious, right, Like what's 850 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 3: wrong with me? Why can't I calm down? It really 851 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 3: draws attention to my anxiety. So the thing that I've 852 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:39,120 Speaker 3: told myself is the opposite of anxious isn't calm or relaxed. 853 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 3: The opposite of anxious is present and being in the 854 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:48,319 Speaker 3: place you are where there's no danger instead of the 855 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,280 Speaker 3: place your mind goes where the worst thing's going to happen. 856 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:56,360 Speaker 3: That's the trick. It's not calming down, it's being present. 857 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,520 Speaker 3: And I mentioned I went to Belgium for a month 858 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:03,480 Speaker 3: with my family, and you know, planes and trains and 859 00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:07,280 Speaker 3: travel can be triggering for me, for all the catastrophic thoughts. 860 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,399 Speaker 3: But I got there and I thought, I don't want 861 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 3: to miss this incredible experience because my mind is somewhere 862 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,040 Speaker 3: unsafe when I am in someplace very safe. 863 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 2: So I worked on that a lot for that month. 864 00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:21,520 Speaker 2: But it was an. 865 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:25,120 Speaker 3: Interesting like frame work shift that really helped me. 866 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:30,480 Speaker 1: That is it's so simple yet so powerful. Yeah, and 867 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,239 Speaker 1: so thank you for that, because that, I mean, that 868 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,040 Speaker 1: is one of those things. It's like live in the moment. 869 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,080 Speaker 1: Live in the present. Don't think about the future. Don't 870 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,040 Speaker 1: think about the past. Like you can't change the past. 871 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,480 Speaker 1: You don't know about the future. So live in the present. 872 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:44,440 Speaker 1: But it's to really practice that specific it's hard to 873 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,800 Speaker 1: be very yeah, difficult but helpful. 874 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,839 Speaker 2: It's so helpful, but it's it's it's hard. It's hard. 875 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:06,680 Speaker 3: So in better news, I think you are dating Breckenmeier. 876 00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:09,920 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you are correct. 877 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,840 Speaker 2: I mean he was a big part of my childhood. 878 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:15,880 Speaker 3: Okay, Travis Birkenstock was an important part of my childhood. 879 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:20,080 Speaker 4: Grandfast Birkenstock thirty eight tarties by far the most tarties 880 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:28,040 Speaker 4: in the class. Congratulations, I'm so unexpected. 881 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:31,279 Speaker 5: I didn't even have a speech prepared. But I would 882 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,080 Speaker 5: like to say this tardiness is not something you can 883 00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,160 Speaker 5: do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to 884 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,319 Speaker 5: my tardiness. I'd like to say my parents never giving 885 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:41,520 Speaker 5: me a ride to school. 886 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:45,440 Speaker 1: The la It's so funny. Once again, on the lighter side, 887 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,520 Speaker 1: people joke like, wow, you just really love those like 888 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 1: nineties nineties iconic characters. I'm like, okay, this was not 889 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,360 Speaker 1: planned all right together? 890 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:55,080 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 891 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, and both you know, whether it's Danny Tanner or 892 00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,960 Speaker 1: Travis Berkinsock, both are people who I at the time, like, 893 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,120 Speaker 1: It's not like I had a big crush on Danny Tanner. 894 00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,000 Speaker 1: I had a big crush on Travis Jergensack. They were 895 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,640 Speaker 1: both not on my radar at the time. You know, 896 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,600 Speaker 1: I knew the character is very well, of course. I 897 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,880 Speaker 1: mean I've seen Clueless probably over two hundred times. I 898 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,880 Speaker 1: know every single word to where every once in a 899 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,680 Speaker 1: while with Brecken, like I don't even mean it because 900 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:19,400 Speaker 1: like my sisters and I, my friends and I, like 901 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:23,080 Speaker 1: we say clueless lines all the time, and every once 902 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,080 Speaker 1: in a while, like one will just come out to 903 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,400 Speaker 1: him and he'll be like really, I'm like, look, I 904 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:29,840 Speaker 1: can't I can't help it. I'm sorry, it is what 905 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,960 Speaker 1: it is. I can't turn it off. Yeah, but he 906 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:38,880 Speaker 1: actually appreciates it more than Bob appreciated Full House. Yeah, 907 00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:42,080 Speaker 1: he embraces Clueless a little bit more. But Yeah, it 908 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:46,279 Speaker 1: was so nice because I was really worried for a 909 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,000 Speaker 1: long time. I mean, obviously I knew in my head. 910 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,319 Speaker 1: To me, the one year mark after losing Bob was 911 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,920 Speaker 1: I'm not even going to let my brain go to 912 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,160 Speaker 1: thinking about dating again for at least a year. That 913 00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:01,080 Speaker 1: was like my appropriate time frame. Anything less than that, 914 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,000 Speaker 1: to me didn't feel appropriate, and I felt to society 915 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,200 Speaker 1: wouldn't think that that was appropriate either. After the one 916 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,799 Speaker 1: year mark, I might not not be ready still, but 917 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,600 Speaker 1: at least if I did, then at least, you know, 918 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:14,360 Speaker 1: the public would be like, all right, well it's been 919 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:18,320 Speaker 1: a year. It was maybe a couple a year and 920 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,120 Speaker 1: a couple months. I had to sit down with Bob's daughters, 921 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:23,560 Speaker 1: who I'm you know, one was just staying with me 922 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,839 Speaker 1: this week. I'm incredibly close to them, talk to them 923 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,759 Speaker 1: every day, love them more than life. I love them 924 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,879 Speaker 1: so much, and I'm so grateful that we're so close, 925 00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,680 Speaker 1: because that is not always the case, you know, step 926 00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:38,080 Speaker 1: family situation. But I talked to them and I was like, look, 927 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,520 Speaker 1: you know, I'm not ready yet, but I might be 928 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,920 Speaker 1: ready soon to you know, maybe get a coffee with somebody, 929 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,920 Speaker 1: or like get a go on a hike or something like, Kelly, 930 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,560 Speaker 1: we want you to be happy, you know, and Dad 931 00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,000 Speaker 1: would want you to be happy. And I was like, 932 00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,800 Speaker 1: I don't know about that, and they're like, he would. 933 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:59,200 Speaker 1: And it really was a hard time for me separating 934 00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:03,320 Speaker 1: or flee Bob from Heavenly Bob. I was like, Earthly 935 00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,239 Speaker 1: Bob would be like, how dare you? How could you 936 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,640 Speaker 1: even think about moving on right forward? As I call it, 937 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,239 Speaker 1: And Heavenly Bob of course loved me or you know, 938 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 1: well all the Bobs loved me, but Heavenly Bob would 939 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:16,200 Speaker 1: want me to be happy. 940 00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was hard. 941 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,520 Speaker 1: For me to separate those two. And then his girls 942 00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:24,200 Speaker 1: were like helly. I was like, They're like, you don't 943 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,439 Speaker 1: need our permission. I was like, I know, I don't 944 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:27,759 Speaker 1: need your permission, but I want your blessing, yeah, like 945 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:32,200 Speaker 1: you have it explicitly, like of course. So then it 946 00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,560 Speaker 1: was a few months after that. I mean I had 947 00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 1: met Brecken briefly with Bob. Like he and Bob loved 948 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,480 Speaker 1: each other. They weren't very close. They were more like 949 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:48,479 Speaker 1: friendly acquaintances but really respected each other, really liked each other, 950 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:53,440 Speaker 1: and shared a mutual best friend. So it was this 951 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:58,200 Speaker 1: mutual best friend who had a anniversary party and it 952 00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,600 Speaker 1: was postponed a year. So Bob and I were supposed 953 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,160 Speaker 1: to go together the year before, but then it got 954 00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:05,240 Speaker 1: postponed a year. And then at this point Bob obviously 955 00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:10,560 Speaker 1: was not there, and then Breckon and I, as I said, 956 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,759 Speaker 1: we had briefly met before, but we hung out a 957 00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,600 Speaker 1: little bit at that event, and then I was like, oh, no, 958 00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:17,200 Speaker 1: he's kind of cute. And I didn't even know if 959 00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,799 Speaker 1: he was single, and then you know, our mutual friend 960 00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,000 Speaker 1: was like, no, he is. And then we just you 961 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:26,880 Speaker 1: know started once again like follow each other on Instagram 962 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:28,600 Speaker 1: and then just DMed a little bit and then we 963 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,240 Speaker 1: went out and then right away I was like, oh, 964 00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,560 Speaker 1: he's so great, Like this is such a great fit. 965 00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:39,080 Speaker 1: And I was so concerned for so long, like in 966 00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:41,520 Speaker 1: that process leading up to it, of like who's ever 967 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,920 Speaker 1: going to want to date a widow? Like just sounds 968 00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:48,960 Speaker 1: so gross, And you know, who's ever going to be? 969 00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,160 Speaker 1: Like I can't just date some just anybody. They have 970 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:58,560 Speaker 1: to be someone who appreciates Bob and knows that Bob 971 00:48:58,640 --> 00:48:59,960 Speaker 1: is always going to be a part of my life. 972 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,920 Speaker 1: So it's going to take a really confident person to 973 00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 1: live up to and also doesn't get intimidated by who 974 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:12,200 Speaker 1: Bob was and by his place in my life. And 975 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:18,279 Speaker 1: Breckon from day one was just such a g about it, 976 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:22,360 Speaker 1: like he was just so cool and just so understanding 977 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:26,520 Speaker 1: and just strong and confident about it, and like still 978 00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: to this day, like loves talking about Bob, asks questions 979 00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:32,640 Speaker 1: about Bob. You know, has spent time with Bob's girls 980 00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:34,919 Speaker 1: and Bob's family and they all get along, and it's 981 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:39,040 Speaker 1: just like he he just has zero problems with it. 982 00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:43,040 Speaker 1: And I mean as you would hope and expect. I mean, 983 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,560 Speaker 1: nobody really should have a problem with it. But but yeah, 984 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,680 Speaker 1: he's just been so great and supportive and so it's 985 00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:52,680 Speaker 1: been really special. And I feel every day I'm like, 986 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,160 Speaker 1: how did I get so lucky that literally, like right up, 987 00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:57,920 Speaker 1: you know, right out of the gate, this is who 988 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,520 Speaker 1: I end up dating, and it's gone so well, And 989 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:02,720 Speaker 1: how did I get so lucky? 990 00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:03,440 Speaker 2: But twice? 991 00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,399 Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, And part of me is like it's 992 00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:09,880 Speaker 1: too good to be true. Something bad's got to happen. 993 00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,480 Speaker 1: But I'm like, of course you're not going to You're 994 00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:15,960 Speaker 1: going to just enjoy life and enjoy this wonderful person, 995 00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,799 Speaker 1: good that I've been fortunate enough to meet. 996 00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,920 Speaker 3: I want to do now a lightning round before we 997 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:32,719 Speaker 3: before we leave you. Oh sure, okay, Okay, what's the 998 00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,600 Speaker 3: best hot dog in Chicago? 999 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:35,520 Speaker 1: Portillo's? 1000 00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:38,960 Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I like. 1001 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:42,160 Speaker 3: A quick answer, fast enough. I like a fast answer. 1002 00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:43,560 Speaker 3: I like Wiener Circle. 1003 00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,799 Speaker 1: But you know, well you should have specified what's your 1004 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,600 Speaker 1: favorite hot dog before two am? Or after two am? 1005 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:51,120 Speaker 4: Well? 1006 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,680 Speaker 2: Wiener Circle, so right because that's after two am? 1007 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:55,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, like who goes to Wiener Circle at noon? You 1008 00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:57,480 Speaker 1: know you are correct? You are correct? 1009 00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:01,280 Speaker 2: Okay, that's on me. Okay. What's the best movie about 1010 00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:02,560 Speaker 2: food or travel? 1011 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:11,440 Speaker 1: Ooh? You know what? It encompasses both the Trip series, 1012 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:16,319 Speaker 1: the Trip, the Trip to Italy, the trip to Oh 1013 00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:19,680 Speaker 1: my god, what are there? The actor's names, the British 1014 00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:21,879 Speaker 1: actors that are just absolutely brilliant, that do the best 1015 00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,480 Speaker 1: Michael Caine impressions. 1016 00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:23,879 Speaker 2: Do you Michael Kain? 1017 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,120 Speaker 7: Okay, I say, Michael kayin you used to talk like 1018 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,880 Speaker 7: this in the nineteen sixties, right, but that has changed. 1019 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,760 Speaker 7: And I say that over the years Michael's. 1020 00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:34,600 Speaker 2: Voice has capped the cephal act. Let me finish. 1021 00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:38,120 Speaker 7: This is how Michael Kaine speaks. Michael Kaine speaks to 1022 00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:41,879 Speaker 7: his nose like that. It gets very very specific. It's 1023 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:45,960 Speaker 7: very like that. When it gets loudly, it gets very loud. Indeed, 1024 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:47,440 Speaker 7: that's Michael Kaine. 1025 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,440 Speaker 1: Oh, Steve Coogan, Okay, Robert Brighton. 1026 00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:50,800 Speaker 2: Yes, I don't know these. 1027 00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, they have like the trip to Italy, the trip 1028 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:57,080 Speaker 1: to I think Greece, and so it's they're playing themselves, 1029 00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:01,239 Speaker 1: but it's a little like mockumentary ish. Yeah, And they 1030 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:05,200 Speaker 1: travel to these places and they eat it the fanciest restaurants, 1031 00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:06,840 Speaker 1: and so it's a little bit of like a cooking 1032 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,160 Speaker 1: show because they go into the kitchen with the chef 1033 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:13,000 Speaker 1: and it's brilliantly shot in terms of the cooking and 1034 00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:16,000 Speaker 1: the food scenes. But yet they're traveling and it's like 1035 00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:17,840 Speaker 1: they rent this little car and they're driving through the 1036 00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:21,280 Speaker 1: Italian countryside and they're hilarious together. So it's a comedy 1037 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,160 Speaker 1: and it's kind of they make it almost like it's 1038 00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:26,040 Speaker 1: the documentary but it's not. 1039 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,880 Speaker 2: I love that. I can't wait to check them out. Awesome. 1040 00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:30,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, Bob and I were really into them, and we 1041 00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:34,239 Speaker 1: watched them multiple times each and I think during the 1042 00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,560 Speaker 1: pandemic because we were dreaming about like, oh, we can't 1043 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:37,520 Speaker 1: wait to travel again. 1044 00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,080 Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, Okay, this is also this is very important 1045 00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:41,960 Speaker 3: to me personally. 1046 00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:44,120 Speaker 2: When is iced coffee season. 1047 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:49,160 Speaker 1: I think it's when it's hot out. I'm not I 1048 00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,080 Speaker 1: don't really do iced coffee when it's cold out. To me, 1049 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:56,640 Speaker 1: I would say in la like May through October. Ok, 1050 00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,120 Speaker 1: are you a year round kind of go. 1051 00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:03,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the wrong answer, only because I mean, I 1052 00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:06,680 Speaker 3: grew up in Boston, right there was a dunkin Donuts 1053 00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,319 Speaker 3: in my high school. It's part of my culture. And 1054 00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:14,359 Speaker 3: I was drinking iced coffee at like twelve. I mean, 1055 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,640 Speaker 3: you know, it's a it's a big it's a big 1056 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,239 Speaker 3: part of who I am. But I understand, I understand. 1057 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:24,400 Speaker 1: How I was drinking at fourteen, drinking ten gallons of 1058 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,360 Speaker 1: hot coffee at the diners while smoking a pack of cigarettes, 1059 00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:28,879 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. 1060 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,839 Speaker 2: Like, so yeah, that was. 1061 00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:33,480 Speaker 1: Like the extreme version of coffee at a very young 1062 00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:36,160 Speaker 1: age and so kidding. But once again in you know, 1063 00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,480 Speaker 1: in Chicago in the winter, it's cold, like I wanted 1064 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,640 Speaker 1: something warm. And now there have been a couple of 1065 00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,319 Speaker 1: times where Brecken and I we go out to get 1066 00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:47,879 Speaker 1: coffee and it's hot out and he orders a hot 1067 00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:51,719 Speaker 1: coffee and I'm like, no, what now, like how like, 1068 00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:52,720 Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? Anyway? 1069 00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,200 Speaker 3: So I don't want to sip it. It's not precious. 1070 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,520 Speaker 3: I want directly injected into my veins. If I could inject. 1071 00:53:59,200 --> 00:53:59,719 Speaker 2: It, I would. 1072 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,080 Speaker 1: It is easier to chug an iced coffee. 1073 00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:02,719 Speaker 2: I need to chug. 1074 00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,440 Speaker 3: This was such a great talk, Kelly Rizzo, Thank you 1075 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,239 Speaker 3: so much for coming on and being so open both 1076 00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:11,000 Speaker 3: about your late husband but also your mental health. Uh 1077 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,120 Speaker 3: that's what we're trying to do here, just kind of 1078 00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,319 Speaker 3: take the temperature down, check in with each other, have 1079 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:16,080 Speaker 3: real conversation. 1080 00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:17,120 Speaker 2: So I just. 1081 00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,680 Speaker 1: Misciate it so important. I appreciate you and what you're 1082 00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:22,879 Speaker 1: doing and just everything that you do. 1083 00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:29,240 Speaker 3: Coming up next week, I talked to legendary producer, cinematographer, 1084 00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:33,200 Speaker 3: director Barry Sonenfeld, who gives me all the hot goss 1085 00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:34,920 Speaker 3: behind the scenes in Hollywood. 1086 00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:39,480 Speaker 4: Travalta says, said, Gene, they've just met. So Gene, why 1087 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,719 Speaker 4: did you do this weekend? And Jane says, well, with 1088 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,920 Speaker 4: eight fucking pages of dialogue to learn, I pretty much 1089 00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:49,239 Speaker 4: fucking did nothing except learning the eight fucking pages. John 1090 00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:53,880 Speaker 4: Travalta says, that's a waste of a weekend. So I 1091 00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:55,680 Speaker 4: know how you in trouble. 1092 00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:00,279 Speaker 3: Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcast as 1093 00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,320 Speaker 3: part of the recent Choice Network. I'm Your Hostess. Cupp 1094 00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:06,920 Speaker 3: editing and sound designed by Derek Clements. Our executive producers 1095 00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,680 Speaker 3: are Messie Cupp, Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman. 1096 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,680 Speaker 2: If you like Off the Cup, please 1097 00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:14,640 Speaker 3: Rate and review wherever you get your podcasts, follow, or 1098 00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:28,720 Speaker 3: subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday.