1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:22,675 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. After 2 00:00:22,795 --> 00:00:26,955 Speaker 1: spending most of his life as a bully, Rudolph William 3 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:31,995 Speaker 1: Lewis Giuliani will go out as a coward when it 4 00:00:32,035 --> 00:00:34,675 Speaker 1: takes the jury more than one day to decide how 5 00:00:34,755 --> 00:00:37,875 Speaker 1: much money you owe the people you lied about. Guess 6 00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:41,395 Speaker 1: what you're going to owe the people you lied about 7 00:00:41,955 --> 00:00:47,875 Speaker 1: about eleventy billion dollars? Because guess what did not happen yesterday? 8 00:00:48,235 --> 00:00:52,795 Speaker 1: As testimony ended in the Ruby Freeman, Shane Moss Rudy 9 00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:54,395 Speaker 1: Giuliani case, I. 10 00:00:54,475 --> 00:00:56,915 Speaker 2: Was proven to be telling this ruth and they were 11 00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:58,395 Speaker 2: proven to be liars. 12 00:00:58,715 --> 00:01:02,915 Speaker 1: Once again. That will happen when I justify to get 13 00:01:02,915 --> 00:01:08,155 Speaker 1: the whole story, and it will be definitively clear that 14 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:12,475 Speaker 1: what I said was true and that whatever happened to. 15 00:01:12,435 --> 00:01:13,875 Speaker 3: Them, which is it's. 16 00:01:13,755 --> 00:01:17,555 Speaker 2: Unfortunate if other people overreacting, but everything I said about 17 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:18,035 Speaker 2: them is. 18 00:01:19,195 --> 00:01:26,755 Speaker 1: True, and Rudy never testified must have been laryngitis. To 19 00:01:26,915 --> 00:01:31,075 Speaker 1: defend him, Giuliani's attorney, Joe Sibley basically had to force 20 00:01:31,115 --> 00:01:34,395 Speaker 1: Giuliani not to testify, and Sibley basically had to turn 21 00:01:34,435 --> 00:01:38,555 Speaker 1: to an insanity plea He compared Giuliani to a flat 22 00:01:38,675 --> 00:01:42,835 Speaker 1: earther who will never believe the truth. His own client 23 00:01:43,675 --> 00:01:47,195 Speaker 1: begged the jurors to remember that Giuliani did great things 24 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,395 Speaker 1: on nine to eleven. Spoiler alert, he didn't do great 25 00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:52,195 Speaker 1: things on nine to eleven. Before the pyre had even 26 00:01:52,235 --> 00:01:55,715 Speaker 1: started to die down, Rudy Giuliani was trying to leverage 27 00:01:55,715 --> 00:02:00,315 Speaker 1: two thousand dead New Yorkers into an extra constitutional extension 28 00:02:00,395 --> 00:02:03,035 Speaker 1: of his term as mayor of the City of New York. 29 00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:09,875 Speaker 1: The empathying a politician reading the room and feigning that 30 00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:14,075 Speaker 1: he cared funny. Rudy missed the opportunity to go under 31 00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:18,195 Speaker 1: oath and finally prove that Ruby Freeman and Shane Moss 32 00:02:18,395 --> 00:02:22,515 Speaker 1: stole the election from his master dementia j Trump, them 33 00:02:23,115 --> 00:02:27,115 Speaker 1: and the dead president of Venezuela and the Chinese and 34 00:02:27,155 --> 00:02:30,635 Speaker 1: I don't know, the Symbionese Liberation Army and the National 35 00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:35,435 Speaker 1: Football League Players Association. Funny. He said nothing in his 36 00:02:35,515 --> 00:02:39,955 Speaker 1: own defense or to prove his case. Actually, it'll be 37 00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:43,035 Speaker 1: funny if Freeman and Moss do not file a second 38 00:02:43,555 --> 00:02:47,915 Speaker 1: defamation case against Giuliani for what he said. After court 39 00:02:47,955 --> 00:02:51,835 Speaker 1: adjourned the first two days of this past week. As 40 00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:54,115 Speaker 1: to this case. The jury deliberated three and a half 41 00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:57,235 Speaker 1: hours yesterday without telling Giuliani how much to make the 42 00:02:57,355 --> 00:03:01,275 Speaker 1: check for. It has been quite the week for trumpy 43 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:05,275 Speaker 1: and cowardice, led by Trump himself, because if the whole Juliani, 44 00:03:05,635 --> 00:03:07,675 Speaker 1: this is my chance to prove to you I am right. 45 00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:12,195 Speaker 1: The election was stolen and they lied about me. Uh, 46 00:03:11,915 --> 00:03:17,755 Speaker 1: I'm leaving because my grandmother is on fire. Thing sounds familiar. 47 00:03:17,835 --> 00:03:20,875 Speaker 1: Trump did the same thing this week. He vowed to 48 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:24,315 Speaker 1: tell the truth under oath about the New York Business 49 00:03:24,315 --> 00:03:27,955 Speaker 1: Broad judge and his clerk and the Attorney General and 50 00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:32,035 Speaker 1: I don't know the bodder Minehoff gang and the Visiting 51 00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:36,195 Speaker 1: Nurse Association, and then slight change of plans instead of 52 00:03:36,235 --> 00:03:39,195 Speaker 1: having what Trump would call a Perry Mason moment since 53 00:03:39,235 --> 00:03:41,995 Speaker 1: it is the year nineteen sixty six. In all, Trump 54 00:03:42,435 --> 00:03:45,315 Speaker 1: turned out was not revealing all telling all. He was 55 00:03:45,395 --> 00:03:49,355 Speaker 1: skipping the rest of the trial. There are all kinds 56 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:53,955 Speaker 1: of terrible and even bigoted things that one might call 57 00:03:53,995 --> 00:03:56,435 Speaker 1: what Giuliani and Trump did, But the worst things to 58 00:03:56,475 --> 00:04:02,435 Speaker 1: call Giuliani and Trump are Giuliani and Trump. Cowardice was 59 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:06,755 Speaker 1: also on sale at popular prices throughout trump Land this week. 60 00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:10,075 Speaker 1: In Atlanta yesterday, the letters of apology required for the 61 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:14,595 Speaker 1: plea deals for Trump nineteen confessed conspirators Sidney Powell and 62 00:04:14,675 --> 00:04:18,435 Speaker 1: Kenneth Chesbro were obtained through a Public Records Act motion 63 00:04:18,515 --> 00:04:22,475 Speaker 1: by the Atlanta Journal Constitution, and Powell's videotape profer may 64 00:04:22,515 --> 00:04:26,195 Speaker 1: have been illuminating, but she and Chesbro spared the court 65 00:04:26,555 --> 00:04:29,155 Speaker 1: and the citizens of Georgia and the United States of 66 00:04:29,155 --> 00:04:36,395 Speaker 1: America any troublesome, complicated, or lengthy remorse. Quote. I apologize 67 00:04:36,395 --> 00:04:38,395 Speaker 1: to the citizens of the State of Georgia and of 68 00:04:38,435 --> 00:04:41,955 Speaker 1: Fulton County for my involvement in count fifteen of the indictment, 69 00:04:42,435 --> 00:04:50,995 Speaker 1: wrote Kenny the Cheese Wow twenty three whole words Ken, 70 00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:57,235 Speaker 1: I've gotten fortune cookies longer than that. Still, Chesbrow looked verbose, 71 00:04:57,435 --> 00:05:00,995 Speaker 1: by contrast to the Kraken Lady quote, I apologize for 72 00:05:01,115 --> 00:05:03,795 Speaker 1: my actions in connection with the events in Coffee County. 73 00:05:04,955 --> 00:05:09,155 Speaker 1: Words must have been up all night editing that down. Huh, 74 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:14,595 Speaker 1: sid you might say, so what The apologies are insincere? 75 00:05:14,675 --> 00:05:17,515 Speaker 1: The letters are formalities, and of course Giuliani wasn't going 76 00:05:17,555 --> 00:05:19,595 Speaker 1: to stick to his beliefs, no matter how crazy they were, 77 00:05:19,595 --> 00:05:22,355 Speaker 1: and of course Trump would back out or waddle out. 78 00:05:22,635 --> 00:05:25,075 Speaker 1: Words don't count to him because he's allowed to lie 79 00:05:25,115 --> 00:05:28,155 Speaker 1: whenever he needs to in both directions at the same time, 80 00:05:28,315 --> 00:05:30,515 Speaker 1: because all of the rest of us are just extras 81 00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:34,715 Speaker 1: in his movie Dementia, j Trump's autobiographical history of the Universe. 82 00:05:35,755 --> 00:05:39,515 Speaker 1: But here listen carefully, because it'll be the first and 83 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:41,835 Speaker 1: probably in the last time I do this. I will 84 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:47,555 Speaker 1: invoke and praise Jenna Ellis, who also had to write 85 00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:51,835 Speaker 1: one of those Chesbro Powell apology letters, and who, even 86 00:05:51,955 --> 00:05:55,235 Speaker 1: if she still defines the lawyer representing themselves, who has 87 00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:58,755 Speaker 1: the fool for the client. She wrote two hundred and 88 00:05:58,755 --> 00:06:04,075 Speaker 1: fifty really painful words and had the guts or at 89 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,675 Speaker 1: least the strategic intelligence to sit there and read it 90 00:06:07,755 --> 00:06:12,675 Speaker 1: herself to the judge on tape, complete with tears. And 91 00:06:12,715 --> 00:06:14,635 Speaker 1: as much as I would like to think those tears 92 00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:19,875 Speaker 1: were fake, they weren't. The importance of Giuliani and Trump 93 00:06:19,955 --> 00:06:23,075 Speaker 1: whimping out is that it underscores that when the spit 94 00:06:23,235 --> 00:06:26,875 Speaker 1: hits the fan, the bullies are the first to run. 95 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:32,315 Speaker 1: The lesson in this is simple. Hit them, Hit them 96 00:06:32,395 --> 00:06:37,915 Speaker 1: every day, Hit them with every lawsuit, every indictment, every protest, 97 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:43,435 Speaker 1: every public mockery, every embarrassment, every joke. Hit them with 98 00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:48,075 Speaker 1: everything you have, every day for the rest of their lives. 99 00:06:48,635 --> 00:06:51,435 Speaker 1: Because what Trump proved by not being in a New 100 00:06:51,515 --> 00:06:55,275 Speaker 1: York courtroom Monday, and what Giuliani proved by squirming at 101 00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:59,515 Speaker 1: the defense table yesterday is that you can break them, 102 00:07:00,035 --> 00:07:03,635 Speaker 1: both of them, maybe not all at once and maybe 103 00:07:03,675 --> 00:07:10,035 Speaker 1: not permanently, but they cannot bullshit their way out of everything. 104 00:07:12,195 --> 00:07:15,315 Speaker 1: People watching the movie Classic Citizen Kin go to the 105 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:20,195 Speaker 1: dying Charles Foster Caine gurgling out his dying word rosebud 106 00:07:20,515 --> 00:07:25,355 Speaker 1: as the quote from an eminently quotable film. But for me, 107 00:07:25,475 --> 00:07:27,395 Speaker 1: it has always been the scene in which the crooked 108 00:07:27,435 --> 00:07:31,995 Speaker 1: politician Boss Getty's catches Cain in an apartment with a 109 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:35,795 Speaker 1: woman who is not his wife. And by the way, 110 00:07:35,835 --> 00:07:39,635 Speaker 1: for context, this is in the pre Moms for Liberty days, 111 00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:42,955 Speaker 1: when that wasn't okay even if your wife was also there. 112 00:07:44,035 --> 00:07:47,195 Speaker 1: Getties offers Cain a chance to withdraw from their race 113 00:07:47,235 --> 00:07:50,115 Speaker 1: for governor of New York rather than subject his family 114 00:07:50,155 --> 00:07:53,475 Speaker 1: to the subsequent scandal about the apartment and the woman 115 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:58,115 Speaker 1: who's not his wife. Cain screams threats about sending Getties 116 00:07:58,155 --> 00:08:03,635 Speaker 1: to sing Sing Sing Getties. Getti's presented by actor Ray 117 00:08:03,675 --> 00:08:08,635 Speaker 1: Collins as the definition of the banality of evil, answers 118 00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:13,275 Speaker 1: him flatly, You're the greatest fool I've ever known, Cain. 119 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,875 Speaker 1: If it was anybody else, I'd say, what's gonna happen 120 00:08:16,915 --> 00:08:20,035 Speaker 1: to you? Would be a lesson to you. Only you're 121 00:08:20,075 --> 00:08:24,035 Speaker 1: gonna need more than one lesson, and you're gonna get 122 00:08:24,475 --> 00:08:29,755 Speaker 1: more than one lesson. Still gives me chills. It should 123 00:08:29,795 --> 00:08:33,635 Speaker 1: give Trump chills more eminently, probably today. It should give 124 00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:38,075 Speaker 1: Rudy Giuliani chills. It probably even would if either of 125 00:08:38,115 --> 00:08:41,955 Speaker 1: them had any nerve endings left. They'll feel it later, 126 00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:45,635 Speaker 1: because we must make twenty twenty four the year in 127 00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:50,595 Speaker 1: which Trump and Giuliani and Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller 128 00:08:51,075 --> 00:08:56,195 Speaker 1: and Cash Patel and all of them who need more 129 00:08:56,315 --> 00:09:00,075 Speaker 1: than one lesson. We must make twenty twenty four the 130 00:09:00,195 --> 00:09:08,075 Speaker 1: year in which they get more than one lesson. By 131 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:11,395 Speaker 1: the way, before moving on to how much nobody cared about, 132 00:09:11,475 --> 00:09:15,115 Speaker 1: Vivek Ramaswami in a CNN town hall Wednesday to say 133 00:09:15,195 --> 00:09:18,515 Speaker 1: nothing about volume three of the Charles Barkley Gaale King 134 00:09:18,915 --> 00:09:24,515 Speaker 1: witness Relocation hour. Just to tie off that you're going 135 00:09:24,595 --> 00:09:26,955 Speaker 1: to get more than one lesson quote from Citizen Kane 136 00:09:27,115 --> 00:09:30,315 Speaker 1: for the benefit of one particular listener, mister dementia. Jay 137 00:09:30,355 --> 00:09:35,035 Speaker 1: Trump I mentioned the actor who delivered that line, portraying 138 00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:38,875 Speaker 1: Boss Jim W. Getty's. He was Ray Collins, and boy 139 00:09:38,915 --> 00:09:43,435 Speaker 1: has he never gotten the do he deserves? Just spectacular 140 00:09:43,475 --> 00:09:46,435 Speaker 1: in Citizen Kane and in the other Orson Wells masterpiece, 141 00:09:46,715 --> 00:09:51,035 Speaker 1: The Magnificent Amberson's. He played in the Wells radio events, 142 00:09:51,035 --> 00:09:54,195 Speaker 1: still controversial to this day, War of the Worlds. He 143 00:09:54,275 --> 00:09:56,755 Speaker 1: was unforgettable in Touch of Evil, and in the Best 144 00:09:56,835 --> 00:09:59,635 Speaker 1: Years of Our Lives, even in a bunch of soppy 145 00:09:59,795 --> 00:10:04,795 Speaker 1: baseball pictures. But Ray Collins ended his career in a 146 00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:09,155 Speaker 1: recurring role in a television series. He was the diligent 147 00:10:09,195 --> 00:10:13,275 Speaker 1: but a little too boastful LA Police flat foot Lieutenant 148 00:10:13,435 --> 00:10:17,475 Speaker 1: Arthur Trag who always got tripped up in cross examination 149 00:10:17,595 --> 00:10:22,795 Speaker 1: by the star of the show, the attorney Perry Mason, 150 00:10:24,235 --> 00:10:28,555 Speaker 1: the one Trump keeps talking about, you're gonna need more 151 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,955 Speaker 1: than one lesson, and you're gonna get more than one 152 00:10:31,035 --> 00:10:36,275 Speaker 1: lesson Perry Mason. And that's true also for Vivike Ramaswami 153 00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:40,235 Speaker 1: and CNN the town Hall Wednesday Night with the only 154 00:10:40,315 --> 00:10:43,035 Speaker 1: man who might be able to Outlie Trump in a 155 00:10:43,115 --> 00:10:45,635 Speaker 1: battle to the death, and how I wish they would 156 00:10:45,675 --> 00:10:50,675 Speaker 1: try that. V Bake Ramswami. The total number of viewers 157 00:10:50,675 --> 00:10:56,155 Speaker 1: in primetime on CNN five hundred and ninety one thousand. 158 00:10:56,995 --> 00:11:00,995 Speaker 1: I mean, television news is dying, but it's not dying 159 00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:10,075 Speaker 1: that fast. That's five episodes of this podcast. Whatever CNN 160 00:11:10,115 --> 00:11:12,995 Speaker 1: thought it was gaining putting that paranoid manure salesman on, 161 00:11:13,075 --> 00:11:16,275 Speaker 1: I can only guess. Ramaswami even drew thirty one thousand 162 00:11:16,315 --> 00:11:19,715 Speaker 1: fewer viewers than Ron DeSantis did on Tuesday. He drew 163 00:11:19,755 --> 00:11:23,555 Speaker 1: fewer viewers than his lead in Anderson Cooper did five 164 00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:26,515 Speaker 1: hundred and ninety one thousand viewers. Good God. Even Aaron 165 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:31,675 Speaker 1: Burnett had six hundred and fifty nine thousand. And since 166 00:11:31,715 --> 00:11:35,275 Speaker 1: we are on this subject, after Ramaswami right afterwards comes 167 00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:40,315 Speaker 1: episode three out of a complete series of three of 168 00:11:40,635 --> 00:11:48,275 Speaker 1: King Charles Chris Lickt's Last and Stupidest IDEA four one 169 00:11:48,355 --> 00:11:52,355 Speaker 1: hundred and fifty three thousand viewers for a news show 170 00:11:52,355 --> 00:11:57,275 Speaker 1: in which Charles Barkley and Gail King talk about something 171 00:11:58,235 --> 00:12:04,195 Speaker 1: and it actually lost a quarter of vv Ramaswami's invisible audience, 172 00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:10,675 Speaker 1: and King Charles is somehow down ten percent from its 173 00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:15,515 Speaker 1: disastrous launch ratings happily, and this brings us back to 174 00:12:15,555 --> 00:12:17,595 Speaker 1: Trump and politics and a culture in which you don't 175 00:12:17,635 --> 00:12:20,475 Speaker 1: like reality. Just call it a liar. You want it 176 00:12:20,515 --> 00:12:22,875 Speaker 1: to be day and it's night. You can just shout 177 00:12:22,915 --> 00:12:25,675 Speaker 1: loudly enough that it really is day, and you and 178 00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:29,435 Speaker 1: only you can see the fact that it's day. Barkley 179 00:12:29,555 --> 00:12:32,955 Speaker 1: responded to his humiliating failure the first night of this 180 00:12:33,115 --> 00:12:37,715 Speaker 1: show by blaming the ratings company. I want to tell 181 00:12:37,795 --> 00:12:42,355 Speaker 1: my team man, these Nielsen people are the biggest clowns 182 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:46,355 Speaker 1: in the world, he said. The ratings can't be right, 183 00:12:46,435 --> 00:12:51,115 Speaker 1: he implied, because he doesn't know anybody with a Nielsen box. 184 00:12:52,915 --> 00:12:57,075 Speaker 1: And you may recall when he was still interesting, Charles 185 00:12:57,115 --> 00:13:05,075 Speaker 1: Barkley speculated about running for governor of Alabama as a Republican. Chuck, 186 00:13:06,115 --> 00:13:09,155 Speaker 1: you're not good at this, nobody's interested in you doing it, 187 00:13:09,675 --> 00:13:12,195 Speaker 1: and you're not honest about it with yourself or anybody else. 188 00:13:13,075 --> 00:13:14,515 Speaker 1: So let me ask you this. Do you own a 189 00:13:14,515 --> 00:13:17,715 Speaker 1: shell company? Did you loan your own brother two hundred 190 00:13:17,715 --> 00:13:20,115 Speaker 1: thousand dollars and then he paid you back. And if so, 191 00:13:20,235 --> 00:13:22,435 Speaker 1: could you still shout at the son of a president 192 00:13:22,475 --> 00:13:24,555 Speaker 1: from the other party for having a shell company or 193 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:28,155 Speaker 1: at his father for loaning money, Chuck? If so, you 194 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:33,875 Speaker 1: would be perfect for today's GOP. Also, I wouldn't worry 195 00:13:33,915 --> 00:13:39,075 Speaker 1: about having to tell your team anything for much longer. 196 00:13:42,835 --> 00:13:46,635 Speaker 1: Some headlines Trump has sold the rooms rancid stakes, and 197 00:13:46,795 --> 00:13:50,155 Speaker 1: universities that didn't teach, and magazines that didn't sell, and 198 00:13:50,235 --> 00:13:54,315 Speaker 1: airlines that didn't fly. But I have rarely seen him 199 00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:58,515 Speaker 1: sell anything as hard, especially anything that literally does not 200 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:04,595 Speaker 1: exist as this presidential immunity thing. He stumbled through a 201 00:14:04,755 --> 00:14:08,635 Speaker 1: reference to a plea deal from the Supreme Court about it, 202 00:14:09,275 --> 00:14:14,075 Speaker 1: whatever that means, and he posted and reposted and re 203 00:14:14,075 --> 00:14:18,715 Speaker 1: reposted the same rant yesterday on the important matter of 204 00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:21,995 Speaker 1: presidential immunity, something which is so basic to America that 205 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:26,715 Speaker 1: it should be automatic. Trump does not say why it 206 00:14:26,755 --> 00:14:31,835 Speaker 1: would be basic to America, or why if it's so automatic, 207 00:14:31,995 --> 00:14:36,075 Speaker 1: and if it exists, that the Supreme Court would not 208 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:40,195 Speaker 1: rule that he's right about it. But he is selling 209 00:14:40,235 --> 00:14:44,635 Speaker 1: this hard. This underscores the fact that Trump has only 210 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,595 Speaker 1: to say it to validate it with his cult. I 211 00:14:47,675 --> 00:14:49,955 Speaker 1: doubt anybody would bother. But I guarantee you if you 212 00:14:50,035 --> 00:14:53,875 Speaker 1: polled Dementia Jay's slaves, they would insist by ninety or 213 00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:57,235 Speaker 1: ninety five percent that no, No, he had testified this 214 00:14:57,315 --> 00:15:00,715 Speaker 1: week in the New York Business broad case. I saw him. 215 00:15:01,355 --> 00:15:03,555 Speaker 1: And then if he came out and said no, he 216 00:15:03,595 --> 00:15:07,115 Speaker 1: did not testify because he was being unfairly gagged, ninety 217 00:15:07,195 --> 00:15:09,835 Speaker 1: or ninety five percent would then say he had not testified. 218 00:15:11,675 --> 00:15:16,235 Speaker 1: I do not know what to do about these people. 219 00:15:17,155 --> 00:15:20,675 Speaker 1: I do know they are incompatible with a free society, 220 00:15:21,555 --> 00:15:24,795 Speaker 1: with a representative form of government, and if it has 221 00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:29,355 Speaker 1: to be that or them, it's going to have to 222 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:34,275 Speaker 1: be that. By the way, Trump lost again, this time 223 00:15:34,315 --> 00:15:37,875 Speaker 1: before a three judge state appeals panel in another attempt 224 00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:40,435 Speaker 1: to overturn the gag order so he can resume trying 225 00:15:40,475 --> 00:15:44,035 Speaker 1: to get Judge Arthur Engeron's family and his clerk killed. 226 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,955 Speaker 1: It is striking that, amid more legal activity than the 227 00:15:49,195 --> 00:15:52,755 Speaker 1: apocryphal law firm of Engulf and Devour, Trump has never 228 00:15:52,795 --> 00:15:57,915 Speaker 1: once turned to America First Legal Stephen Miller's supposed conservative 229 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:01,875 Speaker 1: counterpoint to the ACLU. It is now trying to find 230 00:16:01,915 --> 00:16:04,955 Speaker 1: people who believe they were unfairly not hired becase because 231 00:16:04,955 --> 00:16:09,795 Speaker 1: they were white and wont to sue IBM. The Daily 232 00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:12,475 Speaker 1: Beast now says in the year twenty twenty two, this 233 00:16:12,675 --> 00:16:17,315 Speaker 1: nonprofit reported forty four million dollars in contributions. It spent 234 00:16:17,555 --> 00:16:20,915 Speaker 1: thirty five million. Of that, two million, seven hundred thousand 235 00:16:20,995 --> 00:16:23,875 Speaker 1: went to salaries, one and a half million was spent 236 00:16:23,955 --> 00:16:30,395 Speaker 1: on lawsuits and other legal services. Thirty million, thirty million 237 00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:35,515 Speaker 1: dollars eighty five percent of its expenses went to advertising. 238 00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:42,155 Speaker 1: Advertising that was mostly about things like Joe Biden. Even 239 00:16:42,195 --> 00:16:46,235 Speaker 1: though as a nonprofit, Stephen Miller's America First Legal is 240 00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:53,275 Speaker 1: barred from participating in any political activity. Wait, so you're 241 00:16:53,435 --> 00:16:57,715 Speaker 1: saying Stephen Miller is a con man and a fraud bending, 242 00:16:58,195 --> 00:17:01,395 Speaker 1: if not flat out breaking the law, and not just 243 00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:05,275 Speaker 1: the paranoid hate monger whose dreams of ethnic cleansing in 244 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:09,475 Speaker 1: America are driven because a girl of Hispanic heritage humiliated 245 00:17:09,555 --> 00:17:15,155 Speaker 1: him back in high school. Mister Miller, you're going to 246 00:17:15,275 --> 00:17:17,955 Speaker 1: need more than one lesson, and you're going to get 247 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:25,835 Speaker 1: more than one lesson. And lastly, today, guess what's back, 248 00:17:27,075 --> 00:17:31,835 Speaker 1: Oh ghost buses? 249 00:17:32,475 --> 00:17:37,355 Speaker 2: Those buses were removed from the Union station, and we're 250 00:17:37,395 --> 00:17:40,075 Speaker 2: going to document all of that. So you believe that 251 00:17:40,115 --> 00:17:46,635 Speaker 2: those buses held undercover offices, not informants, correct. I feel very, 252 00:17:46,755 --> 00:17:49,915 Speaker 2: very confident that everybody that was on those two buses 253 00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:53,635 Speaker 2: were FBI assets, and I have a high degree of 254 00:17:54,315 --> 00:17:58,195 Speaker 2: belief that they were actual FBI agents. And I'm sorry 255 00:17:58,235 --> 00:18:04,115 Speaker 2: to say, man, my objective conclusion is that, as senior 256 00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:09,075 Speaker 2: official at the FBI, were deeply involved there. 257 00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:16,275 Speaker 1: Yes, Congressman Kay Higgins, disgraced former cop in Opahalusa's city, Louisiana, 258 00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:23,555 Speaker 1: interviewed by disgraced former sixty Minutes correspondent Lara Logan. A 259 00:18:23,675 --> 00:18:27,995 Speaker 1: lot of disgrace, not a lot of functioning cortexes. So 260 00:18:28,155 --> 00:18:33,715 Speaker 1: now the ghost buses are missing ghost buses. They're missing 261 00:18:34,355 --> 00:18:40,835 Speaker 1: that would make them ghosts ghost buses. This interview was 262 00:18:40,875 --> 00:18:44,595 Speaker 1: on Lara Logan's streaming show, which literally and I had 263 00:18:44,635 --> 00:18:47,195 Speaker 1: to look at it four times to make sure this 264 00:18:47,315 --> 00:18:51,355 Speaker 1: was not just my wishful thinking manifesting itself before my eyes. 265 00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:58,475 Speaker 1: Her show literally starts with Lara Logan playing in traffic 266 00:18:59,595 --> 00:19:03,715 Speaker 1: and then a shot of her writing in penn in 267 00:19:03,755 --> 00:19:07,955 Speaker 1: your ninth grade composition class notebook and big loony looking 268 00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:15,555 Speaker 1: letters the rest of the story. There is, however, one 269 00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:20,915 Speaker 1: thing missing, Lara Logan's. The rest of the story with 270 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:28,915 Speaker 1: crazy Clay Higgins is missing a theme song. If I 271 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:46,715 Speaker 1: may suggest one, Oh Nancy. 272 00:19:40,355 --> 00:19:43,795 Speaker 3: Into something parked at your insurrection? 273 00:19:45,035 --> 00:19:56,595 Speaker 1: Who you gonna call? Go? Thank you, Nancy Faust. You 274 00:19:56,635 --> 00:19:58,515 Speaker 1: know what occurs to me. If she had called the 275 00:19:58,555 --> 00:20:02,795 Speaker 1: series Lara Logan playing in traffic, people might have watched. 276 00:20:03,395 --> 00:20:05,595 Speaker 1: Also of interest here, just when you thought the Republican 277 00:20:05,635 --> 00:20:08,635 Speaker 1: Party had reached some kind of apogee of cynicism and 278 00:20:08,715 --> 00:20:12,355 Speaker 1: corruption in George Santos, Wait till you see who they 279 00:20:12,395 --> 00:20:15,075 Speaker 1: have lined up to run for the House seat he 280 00:20:15,155 --> 00:20:20,955 Speaker 1: had to resign in what passes for Republican shame. First hint, 281 00:20:21,795 --> 00:20:29,675 Speaker 1: she's a registered Democrat. That's next. This is countdown. This 282 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,635 Speaker 1: is countdown with Keith Olberman. 283 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:51,275 Speaker 4: This is Sports Senate. Wait, check that not anymore. This 284 00:20:52,115 --> 00:20:55,755 Speaker 4: is countdown with Keith Olberman. 285 00:20:56,035 --> 00:21:03,235 Speaker 1: In Sports Dateline Los Angeles. Not all the heroes are 286 00:21:03,275 --> 00:21:07,795 Speaker 1: actually great players. Gene Carr has died, and in some 287 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:10,195 Speaker 1: hockey circles he is being mourned as if he were 288 00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:12,915 Speaker 1: a Hall of Famer. The fourth pick in the NHL 289 00:21:13,035 --> 00:21:15,955 Speaker 1: draft in nineteen seventy one. He made the Saint Louis 290 00:21:16,035 --> 00:21:19,315 Speaker 1: Blues opening night roster as a twenty year old with 291 00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:23,235 Speaker 1: no professional experience, and he broke into the league as 292 00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:28,555 Speaker 1: perhaps the fastest skating player of his generation. His father 293 00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:32,675 Speaker 1: had played briefly in the NHL. Gene Carr's mother was 294 00:21:32,715 --> 00:21:37,035 Speaker 1: a championship speed skater. In the NHL of nineteen seventy one, 295 00:21:37,075 --> 00:21:41,115 Speaker 1: not everybody was even a good skater, and almost nobody 296 00:21:41,155 --> 00:21:45,835 Speaker 1: wore a helmet. So Gene Carr, young, blonde haired, long haired, 297 00:21:46,195 --> 00:21:49,195 Speaker 1: going from end to end of the rink, his locks 298 00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:54,835 Speaker 1: flowing behind him, looked like a superstar. Fourteen games into 299 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:58,075 Speaker 1: his NHL career, the New York Rangers traded four top 300 00:21:58,115 --> 00:22:02,315 Speaker 1: prospects to Saint Louis for him, and Broadway welcomed Gene 301 00:22:02,315 --> 00:22:05,635 Speaker 1: Carr as a hero. And in the next one hundred 302 00:22:05,675 --> 00:22:08,915 Speaker 1: and thirty nine games with the New York Rangers, Gene 303 00:22:08,915 --> 00:22:16,555 Speaker 1: Carr scored eighteen goals. That's not a lot. It became 304 00:22:16,595 --> 00:22:19,595 Speaker 1: the subtext of games at Madison Square Garden. Gene Carr 305 00:22:19,635 --> 00:22:21,995 Speaker 1: could skate from one net to the other in about 306 00:22:22,035 --> 00:22:25,155 Speaker 1: four seconds, but if you gave him four minutes in 307 00:22:25,195 --> 00:22:27,995 Speaker 1: front of the opposing net, he still could not score 308 00:22:28,035 --> 00:22:31,395 Speaker 1: a goal. As the legendary New York born referee and 309 00:22:31,555 --> 00:22:35,635 Speaker 1: Rangers announcer Bill Chadwick once lamented, more in sympathy than 310 00:22:35,675 --> 00:22:38,755 Speaker 1: in anger, Jean Carr couldn't put the puck in the 311 00:22:38,755 --> 00:22:41,915 Speaker 1: ocean and if he was standing on the pier. The 312 00:22:42,035 --> 00:22:44,755 Speaker 1: Rangers eventually gave up and traded Gen Carr to the 313 00:22:44,795 --> 00:22:48,475 Speaker 1: Los Angeles Kings in nineteen seventy four, still just twenty 314 00:22:48,515 --> 00:22:51,195 Speaker 1: three years old and playing in a totally no pressure 315 00:22:51,235 --> 00:22:55,995 Speaker 1: hockey environment, meaning there were about nine thousand regular Kings 316 00:22:55,995 --> 00:22:59,035 Speaker 1: fans in those days. Carr played well, He learned to 317 00:22:59,075 --> 00:23:01,715 Speaker 1: fight a little bit. He scored fifteen goals one season, 318 00:23:02,035 --> 00:23:05,555 Speaker 1: and he fell in with the celebrity crowd. One day 319 00:23:05,595 --> 00:23:07,875 Speaker 1: he brought some friends to a King's home game at 320 00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:12,515 Speaker 1: the Fabulous Forum. His friends were the Eagles, the Eagles, 321 00:23:12,835 --> 00:23:16,435 Speaker 1: Glenn Fry and Don Henley and everybody and whatever else 322 00:23:16,515 --> 00:23:19,035 Speaker 1: Gene Carr had or had not done when he died 323 00:23:19,075 --> 00:23:22,355 Speaker 1: this week, he will last as long as Rock and 324 00:23:22,475 --> 00:23:25,995 Speaker 1: roll does. Because if you've ever heard the Eagles song 325 00:23:26,195 --> 00:23:29,835 Speaker 1: new Kid in Town, the new Kid in Town, the 326 00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:35,115 Speaker 1: guy they wrote that song about reportedly anyway was Gene Carr. 327 00:23:36,035 --> 00:23:40,355 Speaker 1: Gene Carr seventy nine career NHL goals and a number 328 00:23:40,355 --> 00:23:43,675 Speaker 1: one hit on the charts was seventy two years old. 329 00:24:19,275 --> 00:24:25,395 Speaker 1: Thank You, Nancy Faust, State Line, Guildford, Connecticut. Much in 330 00:24:25,435 --> 00:24:28,155 Speaker 1: the same manner, Ken McKenzie became a star with the 331 00:24:28,195 --> 00:24:31,195 Speaker 1: original New York Mets. The team lost one hundred and 332 00:24:31,235 --> 00:24:34,115 Speaker 1: twenty out of the one hundred and sixty games it 333 00:24:34,235 --> 00:24:37,235 Speaker 1: played in its first season of existence nineteen sixty two, 334 00:24:37,635 --> 00:24:41,715 Speaker 1: but mackenzie, and unassuming, bespectacled left handed reliever from Canada 335 00:24:41,715 --> 00:24:46,275 Speaker 1: by way of Yale, won five games and lost four, 336 00:24:46,755 --> 00:24:51,715 Speaker 1: which made him the only one of the seventeen pitchers 337 00:24:51,795 --> 00:24:54,315 Speaker 1: on the nineteen sixty two Mets to finish with a 338 00:24:54,395 --> 00:24:58,435 Speaker 1: winning record. In fact, the next year, he won three 339 00:24:58,475 --> 00:25:00,995 Speaker 1: games and lost only one, making him the only pitcher 340 00:25:00,995 --> 00:25:03,155 Speaker 1: on the nineteen sixty three Mets to finish with a 341 00:25:03,195 --> 00:25:07,315 Speaker 1: winning record. In fact, no other Mets pitcher would have 342 00:25:07,355 --> 00:25:12,235 Speaker 1: a winning record until nineteen sixty five. Others suffered through 343 00:25:12,275 --> 00:25:14,995 Speaker 1: the early years of the Mets. Ken McKenzie, later the 344 00:25:14,995 --> 00:25:18,635 Speaker 1: baseball coach at Yale, then an alumni executive at the university, 345 00:25:19,075 --> 00:25:22,875 Speaker 1: reveled in them. He made it to the Mets twenty 346 00:25:22,995 --> 00:25:26,595 Speaker 1: twenty two Old Timers Day in a wheelchair. His license 347 00:25:26,675 --> 00:25:31,155 Speaker 1: plate on his car read nineteen sixty two met and 348 00:25:31,235 --> 00:25:34,795 Speaker 1: his humor was consistent for sixty years. At one point 349 00:25:34,835 --> 00:25:37,435 Speaker 1: somebody pointed out that he had the highest ra on 350 00:25:37,515 --> 00:25:40,835 Speaker 1: the team, to which Mackenzie answered, yes, but I have 351 00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:44,355 Speaker 1: the lowest salary of anybody in the Yale class of 352 00:25:44,435 --> 00:25:49,075 Speaker 1: nineteen fifty six. Ken Mackenzie died at his home yesterday morning. 353 00:25:49,275 --> 00:26:13,635 Speaker 1: He was eighty nine years old. Still to come on 354 00:26:13,715 --> 00:26:17,275 Speaker 1: Countdown Fridays with Thurber and Mann versus machine, with the 355 00:26:17,315 --> 00:26:23,115 Speaker 1: machine reduced to the seemingly benign but anything but benign 356 00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:29,555 Speaker 1: Medicine Cabinet nine needles. Next first time for the daily 357 00:26:29,595 --> 00:26:31,955 Speaker 1: roundup of the miss grants, morons and Dunning Kruger effect 358 00:26:31,955 --> 00:26:36,195 Speaker 1: specimens who constitute two days waste persons in the world, 359 00:26:36,315 --> 00:26:41,435 Speaker 1: insteading on the pier the bronze the worst elon Musk. 360 00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:45,515 Speaker 1: When your self driving cars keep crashing, what do you do? 361 00:26:45,515 --> 00:26:48,155 Speaker 1: Do you improve them? No, you do not. You try 362 00:26:48,195 --> 00:26:51,155 Speaker 1: to prevent the government from telling people that they keep crashing. 363 00:26:51,795 --> 00:26:54,835 Speaker 1: This is the kind of headline that could bankrupt a company, 364 00:26:55,115 --> 00:26:59,875 Speaker 1: and it is live on the website of Ours Technica. Quote. 365 00:27:00,395 --> 00:27:07,075 Speaker 1: Tesla claims California false advertising law violate First Amendment. Tesla 366 00:27:07,155 --> 00:27:12,395 Speaker 1: fights DMB complaint that Autopilot is falsely advertised as autonomous 367 00:27:12,475 --> 00:27:19,475 Speaker 1: unquote nice. Free speech advocacy Free speech boy. The runner 368 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:23,355 Speaker 1: up worser, Kevin McCarthy, the already ex speaker soon to 369 00:27:23,355 --> 00:27:28,355 Speaker 1: be ex congressman, has decided he is in demand. McCarthy 370 00:27:28,715 --> 00:27:31,315 Speaker 1: says he is open to serving in a Trump administration. 371 00:27:31,395 --> 00:27:33,955 Speaker 1: I mean why not. McCarthy has already proved to Trump 372 00:27:33,995 --> 00:27:37,035 Speaker 1: his willingness to pore himself out for Trump, but a 373 00:27:37,115 --> 00:27:40,955 Speaker 1: far greater interest. McCarthy tells Axios he'd like to work 374 00:27:40,955 --> 00:27:47,915 Speaker 1: with his pal Elon Musk in artificial intelligence. And once again, 375 00:27:47,955 --> 00:27:51,995 Speaker 1: why not. I mean, when I think artificial the first 376 00:27:52,035 --> 00:27:58,395 Speaker 1: person who comes to mind is Kevin McCarthy. Intelligence not 377 00:27:58,515 --> 00:28:02,395 Speaker 1: so much, but our winner, the Republican leadership of Queens 378 00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:06,115 Speaker 1: and Nassau Counties in New York. These are the people 379 00:28:06,155 --> 00:28:13,555 Speaker 1: who brought us George Santos, Congressman at Large, in drag 380 00:28:14,515 --> 00:28:17,475 Speaker 1: their new idea to run for the seat that Santos 381 00:28:17,515 --> 00:28:20,595 Speaker 1: has just had to resign from in disgrace. They have 382 00:28:20,715 --> 00:28:25,315 Speaker 1: nominated a county legislator with no public platform other than 383 00:28:26,235 --> 00:28:29,995 Speaker 1: support for Israel. How does she feel about abortion? Nowbody 384 00:28:29,995 --> 00:28:35,755 Speaker 1: knows Trump, nowbody knows democracy. Nobody knows anything else about 385 00:28:35,795 --> 00:28:41,235 Speaker 1: President Biden. Nobody knows. Her name is Mazi Melissa Pilip, 386 00:28:41,795 --> 00:28:45,475 Speaker 1: and she was born in Ethiopia and she served in 387 00:28:45,515 --> 00:28:50,475 Speaker 1: the Israeli Defense Forces. She checks interesting boxes. She's black, 388 00:28:50,515 --> 00:28:53,235 Speaker 1: she's a veteran, and there are a couple of drawbacks 389 00:28:53,275 --> 00:28:57,315 Speaker 1: thrown in. She has a really difficult accent. She makes 390 00:28:57,355 --> 00:29:00,875 Speaker 1: George Santos sound like a generic voiceover announcer. And her 391 00:29:00,955 --> 00:29:06,755 Speaker 1: name is pronounced Mazi, but it's spelled m Azi, you know, 392 00:29:07,315 --> 00:29:11,475 Speaker 1: like Nazi, but with an M. Her only tenuous connection 393 00:29:11,555 --> 00:29:15,875 Speaker 1: to Congress is she campaigned alongside and called a quote 394 00:29:15,955 --> 00:29:21,235 Speaker 1: amazing friend, George Santos. On one more little detail, the 395 00:29:21,275 --> 00:29:25,875 Speaker 1: new Republican candidate for the House, Ms Mazi Malaysa Pilip 396 00:29:26,395 --> 00:29:33,755 Speaker 1: is a registered Democrat. NASA and Queen's County Republicans just 397 00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:38,795 Speaker 1: nominated a Democrat for Congress. Hey, you know, Santos is 398 00:29:38,875 --> 00:29:42,795 Speaker 1: hugely popular on that cameo thing. Think of his name recognition, 399 00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:45,715 Speaker 1: give him some time to cool off. Maybe we can 400 00:29:45,795 --> 00:29:49,995 Speaker 1: run them again. The NASA and Queens County leadership of 401 00:29:50,035 --> 00:29:57,635 Speaker 1: the Republican Party. Two days worst persons in the World. 402 00:29:57,075 --> 00:30:19,995 Speaker 3: Like Nazi, but with an m. 403 00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:12,435 Speaker 1: Just ahead Fridays with Thurber and a double header including 404 00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:15,915 Speaker 1: one of his fables, word for word, the funniest and 405 00:30:16,075 --> 00:30:20,995 Speaker 1: most incisive stuff ever written. The City Mouse goes to 406 00:30:21,075 --> 00:30:24,875 Speaker 1: the country next first time for more dogs you can help. 407 00:30:24,915 --> 00:30:28,355 Speaker 1: Every dog has its day In fact, nine dogs and 408 00:30:28,835 --> 00:30:33,755 Speaker 1: eleven cats, nine ducks, two EMUs, three rabbits, a parrot, 409 00:30:34,195 --> 00:30:39,835 Speaker 1: twenty four silky chickens, and ninety rescue chickens. They are 410 00:30:39,875 --> 00:30:44,115 Speaker 1: at National Boxer Rescue in Pierce, Minnesota, and the county 411 00:30:44,115 --> 00:30:46,395 Speaker 1: board there is about to vote to take the land 412 00:30:46,435 --> 00:30:49,715 Speaker 1: away from them and close this rescue. They're thirty thousand 413 00:30:49,755 --> 00:30:52,635 Speaker 1: dollars in debt with almost no donations coming in and 414 00:30:52,675 --> 00:30:55,595 Speaker 1: no idea where the animals will go if they have 415 00:30:55,675 --> 00:30:59,595 Speaker 1: to close. If you think placing rescue dogs is tough, 416 00:30:59,915 --> 00:31:05,635 Speaker 1: imagine rescue chickens and rescue EMUs. And crazy as it sounds, 417 00:31:05,675 --> 00:31:09,035 Speaker 1: many of them are special needs. Sounds crazy until you 418 00:31:09,075 --> 00:31:12,315 Speaker 1: picture them, and then it sounds heartbreaking. Anyway we can help. 419 00:31:12,355 --> 00:31:15,315 Speaker 1: They have a fundraiser on cuddly dot com. I'll tweet 420 00:31:15,315 --> 00:31:17,435 Speaker 1: out the link, or just go to cuddly dot com 421 00:31:17,435 --> 00:31:20,475 Speaker 1: and type National Boxer in the search bar. The Chickens, 422 00:31:20,475 --> 00:31:23,555 Speaker 1: thank you, the Silky Chickens, thank you, the nine Dogs, 423 00:31:23,555 --> 00:31:31,715 Speaker 1: thank you, and I thank you to the number one 424 00:31:31,755 --> 00:31:34,155 Speaker 1: story on the countdown. And it's Fridays with Thurber and 425 00:31:34,315 --> 00:31:37,955 Speaker 1: a lot of his work details the fundamental clash between people, 426 00:31:38,555 --> 00:31:43,435 Speaker 1: husband and wife, he and various relatives, a guy in 427 00:31:43,555 --> 00:31:47,275 Speaker 1: a bed and a seal, two animals representing any two 428 00:31:47,355 --> 00:31:50,955 Speaker 1: humans in conflict. But some of the most magical writing 429 00:31:51,435 --> 00:31:54,635 Speaker 1: is the stuff that is just about one person alone 430 00:31:55,435 --> 00:31:59,435 Speaker 1: against life. One of his stories ends with a great 431 00:31:59,475 --> 00:32:02,955 Speaker 1: grandmother struggling with a butter churn and screaming into the void, 432 00:32:03,635 --> 00:32:07,315 Speaker 1: why doesn't somebody this goddamn thing away from me? A 433 00:32:07,395 --> 00:32:09,035 Speaker 1: line which I think could be the start of a 434 00:32:09,115 --> 00:32:13,995 Speaker 1: national anthem somewhere. Such a story is nine Needles this 435 00:32:14,035 --> 00:32:16,635 Speaker 1: week's selection. As you will see, it is a little 436 00:32:16,755 --> 00:32:19,315 Speaker 1: short for our usual time frames here, so I'll give 437 00:32:19,315 --> 00:32:22,995 Speaker 1: you a bonus another man versus life story afterwards, in 438 00:32:23,035 --> 00:32:25,715 Speaker 1: the form of one of Thurber's Fables for our time 439 00:32:25,955 --> 00:32:29,715 Speaker 1: The mouse who went to the country. But first, it's 440 00:32:29,795 --> 00:32:32,995 Speaker 1: unlikely this event has ever happened to you, but the 441 00:32:33,115 --> 00:32:40,555 Speaker 1: anxiety that should be immediately familiar. Nine Needles by James Thurber. 442 00:32:42,155 --> 00:32:45,195 Speaker 1: One of the more spectacular minor happenings of the past 443 00:32:45,235 --> 00:32:48,195 Speaker 1: few years, which I am sorry that I missed, took 444 00:32:48,235 --> 00:32:50,795 Speaker 1: place in the Columbus, Ohio home of some friends of 445 00:32:50,795 --> 00:32:54,755 Speaker 1: a friend of mine. It seems that a mister Albatross, 446 00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:58,035 Speaker 1: while looking for something in his medicine cabinet one morning, 447 00:32:58,275 --> 00:33:01,355 Speaker 1: discovered a bottle of a kind of patent medicine which 448 00:33:01,395 --> 00:33:03,995 Speaker 1: his wife had been taking for a stomach element. Now, 449 00:33:04,035 --> 00:33:08,475 Speaker 1: mister Albatross is one of those apprehensive men who are 450 00:33:08,515 --> 00:33:12,795 Speaker 1: afraid of patent medicines and of almost everything else. Some 451 00:33:13,035 --> 00:33:15,875 Speaker 1: weeks before, he had encountered a paragraph in a consumer's 452 00:33:15,955 --> 00:33:19,635 Speaker 1: research bulletin which announced that this particular medicine was bad 453 00:33:19,715 --> 00:33:22,755 Speaker 1: for you. He had thereupon ordered his wife to throw 454 00:33:22,795 --> 00:33:24,915 Speaker 1: out what was left of her supply of the stuff 455 00:33:25,155 --> 00:33:28,835 Speaker 1: and never buy any more, she had promised, And here 456 00:33:28,915 --> 00:33:33,875 Speaker 1: now was another bottle of the perilous liquid. Mister Albatross, 457 00:33:33,915 --> 00:33:37,275 Speaker 1: a man given to quick rages, shouted the conclusion of 458 00:33:37,315 --> 00:33:40,555 Speaker 1: the story at my friend. I threw the bottle out 459 00:33:40,595 --> 00:33:46,475 Speaker 1: the bathroom window, and the medicine chest after it. It 460 00:33:46,555 --> 00:33:49,275 Speaker 1: seems to me that must have been a spectacle worth 461 00:33:49,315 --> 00:33:54,035 Speaker 1: going a long way to see. I am sure that 462 00:33:54,075 --> 00:33:56,875 Speaker 1: many a husband has wanted to wrench the family medicine 463 00:33:56,915 --> 00:33:59,275 Speaker 1: cabinet off the wall and throw it out the window, 464 00:33:59,635 --> 00:34:02,595 Speaker 1: if only because the average medicine cabinet is so filled 465 00:34:02,635 --> 00:34:08,235 Speaker 1: with mysterious bottles and unidentifiable objects of all kinds, that 466 00:34:08,315 --> 00:34:11,875 Speaker 1: it is a source of constant bewilderment and exasperation to 467 00:34:11,955 --> 00:34:16,315 Speaker 1: the American male. Surely, the British medicine cabinet, and the 468 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:20,155 Speaker 1: French medicine cabinet, all the other medicine cabinets must be 469 00:34:20,235 --> 00:34:23,595 Speaker 1: simpler and better ordered than ours. It may be that 470 00:34:23,675 --> 00:34:28,475 Speaker 1: the American habit of saving everything and never throwing anything away, 471 00:34:29,035 --> 00:34:33,155 Speaker 1: even empty bottles, causes the domestic medicine cabinet to become 472 00:34:33,195 --> 00:34:36,355 Speaker 1: as cluttered in its small way as the American attic 473 00:34:36,435 --> 00:34:41,075 Speaker 1: becomes cluttered in its major way. I have encountered few 474 00:34:41,115 --> 00:34:44,235 Speaker 1: medicine cabinets in this country which were not packed jammed 475 00:34:44,275 --> 00:34:47,755 Speaker 1: with something between one hundred and fifty and two hundred 476 00:34:47,875 --> 00:34:52,875 Speaker 1: different items, from dental floss to boracic acid, from razor 477 00:34:52,915 --> 00:34:58,355 Speaker 1: blades to sodium perborate, from adhesive tape to coconut oil. 478 00:34:59,515 --> 00:35:02,595 Speaker 1: Even the neatest wife will put off clearing out the 479 00:35:02,635 --> 00:35:05,115 Speaker 1: medicine cabinet on the ground that she he has something 480 00:35:05,115 --> 00:35:07,195 Speaker 1: else to do that is more important at that moment, 481 00:35:07,555 --> 00:35:10,795 Speaker 1: or more diverting. It was in the apartment of such 482 00:35:10,795 --> 00:35:14,315 Speaker 1: a wife and her husband that I became enormously involved 483 00:35:14,395 --> 00:35:18,315 Speaker 1: with a medicine cabinet. One morning, not long ago, I 484 00:35:18,355 --> 00:35:20,675 Speaker 1: had spent the weekend with this couple. They live on 485 00:35:20,755 --> 00:35:24,595 Speaker 1: East tenth Street, near Fifth Avenue. Such a weekend as 486 00:35:25,155 --> 00:35:28,795 Speaker 1: left me reluctant to rise up on Monday morning with 487 00:35:28,955 --> 00:35:32,715 Speaker 1: bright and shining face and go to work. They got 488 00:35:32,795 --> 00:35:36,355 Speaker 1: up and went to work, but I didn't. I didn't 489 00:35:36,395 --> 00:35:39,955 Speaker 1: get up until about to two thirty in the afternoon. 490 00:35:40,755 --> 00:35:42,995 Speaker 1: I had my face all lathered for shaving, and the 491 00:35:43,115 --> 00:35:45,955 Speaker 1: wash bowl was full of hot water, when suddenly I 492 00:35:46,035 --> 00:35:49,675 Speaker 1: cut myself with the razor. I cut my ear. Very 493 00:35:49,715 --> 00:35:52,595 Speaker 1: few men cut their ears with razors, but I do, 494 00:35:53,115 --> 00:35:56,435 Speaker 1: possibly because I was taught the old Spencerian free risk 495 00:35:56,515 --> 00:35:59,995 Speaker 1: movements by my writing teacher in the grammar grades. The 496 00:36:00,155 --> 00:36:04,395 Speaker 1: ear bleeds rather profusely when cut with a razor, and 497 00:36:04,515 --> 00:36:07,835 Speaker 1: is difficult to get at. More angry than hurt, I 498 00:36:08,115 --> 00:36:10,155 Speaker 1: jerked open the door of the medicine cabinet to see 499 00:36:10,155 --> 00:36:12,435 Speaker 1: if I could find a stiptick pencil, and out fell 500 00:36:12,915 --> 00:36:17,635 Speaker 1: from the top shelf a little black paper packet containing 501 00:36:17,795 --> 00:36:21,995 Speaker 1: nine needles. It seems that his wife kept a little 502 00:36:22,035 --> 00:36:24,635 Speaker 1: paper packet containing nine needles on the top shelf of 503 00:36:24,675 --> 00:36:28,515 Speaker 1: the medicine cabinet. The packet fell into the soapy water 504 00:36:28,595 --> 00:36:31,915 Speaker 1: of the wash bowl, where the paper rapidly disintegrated, leaving 505 00:36:32,075 --> 00:36:36,835 Speaker 1: nine needles at large in the bowl. I was, naturally enough, 506 00:36:37,475 --> 00:36:41,995 Speaker 1: not in the best condition, either physical or mental, to 507 00:36:42,115 --> 00:36:46,515 Speaker 1: recover nine needles from a wash bowl. No gentleman who 508 00:36:46,555 --> 00:36:48,755 Speaker 1: has lather on his face and whose ear is bleeding 509 00:36:48,995 --> 00:36:51,875 Speaker 1: is in the best condition for anything, even something involving 510 00:36:51,915 --> 00:36:57,315 Speaker 1: the handling of nine large, blunt objects. It did not 511 00:36:57,435 --> 00:37:00,035 Speaker 1: seem wise to me to pull the plug out of 512 00:37:00,035 --> 00:37:02,515 Speaker 1: the wash bowl and let the needles go down the drain. 513 00:37:03,475 --> 00:37:05,835 Speaker 1: I had visions of clogging up the plumbing system of 514 00:37:05,835 --> 00:37:10,115 Speaker 1: the house, and also a vague fear of causing short 515 00:37:10,355 --> 00:37:15,235 Speaker 1: circuits somehow or other. I know very little about electricity, 516 00:37:15,315 --> 00:37:19,075 Speaker 1: and I don't want to have it explained to me. Finally, 517 00:37:19,115 --> 00:37:21,995 Speaker 1: I groped very gently around the bowl, and eventually had 518 00:37:22,075 --> 00:37:24,235 Speaker 1: four of the needles in the palm of one hand 519 00:37:24,595 --> 00:37:28,715 Speaker 1: and three in the palm of the other. Two I 520 00:37:28,755 --> 00:37:32,555 Speaker 1: couldn't find. If I had thought quickly and clearly, I 521 00:37:32,595 --> 00:37:36,595 Speaker 1: wouldn't have done that. A lathered man whose ear is bleeding, 522 00:37:36,595 --> 00:37:38,595 Speaker 1: and who has four wet needles in one hand and 523 00:37:38,635 --> 00:37:40,355 Speaker 1: three in the other may be said to have reached 524 00:37:40,395 --> 00:37:45,395 Speaker 1: the lowest known point of human efficiency. There is nothing 525 00:37:45,435 --> 00:37:50,315 Speaker 1: he can do but stand there. I tried transferring the 526 00:37:50,355 --> 00:37:52,235 Speaker 1: needles in my left hand to the palm of my 527 00:37:52,315 --> 00:37:54,435 Speaker 1: right hand, but I couldn't get off my left hand 528 00:37:54,595 --> 00:38:00,755 Speaker 1: wet needles cling to you. In the end, I wiped 529 00:38:00,795 --> 00:38:04,075 Speaker 1: the needles off onto a bath towel, which was hanging 530 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,515 Speaker 1: on a row above the bath tub. It was the 531 00:38:06,515 --> 00:38:08,715 Speaker 1: only towel that I could find. I had to dry 532 00:38:08,755 --> 00:38:12,075 Speaker 1: my hands afterward on the bath mat. Then I tried 533 00:38:12,115 --> 00:38:16,115 Speaker 1: to find the needles in the towel. Hunting for seven 534 00:38:16,155 --> 00:38:19,035 Speaker 1: needles in a bath towel is the most tedious occupation 535 00:38:19,115 --> 00:38:21,875 Speaker 1: I have ever engaged in. I could find only five 536 00:38:21,915 --> 00:38:24,275 Speaker 1: of them, with the two that had been left in 537 00:38:24,315 --> 00:38:27,875 Speaker 1: the bowl. That meant there were four needles in all, missing, 538 00:38:28,515 --> 00:38:31,635 Speaker 1: two in the wash bowl, and two others lurking in 539 00:38:31,715 --> 00:38:35,355 Speaker 1: the towel or lying in the bathtub under the towel. 540 00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:39,075 Speaker 1: Frightful thoughts came to me of what might happen to 541 00:38:39,115 --> 00:38:41,795 Speaker 1: anyone who used that towel, or washed his face in 542 00:38:41,835 --> 00:38:44,635 Speaker 1: the bowl, or got into the tub if I didn't 543 00:38:44,675 --> 00:38:50,835 Speaker 1: find the missing needles. Well, I didn't find them. I 544 00:38:50,915 --> 00:38:52,915 Speaker 1: sat down on the edge of the tub to think, 545 00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,915 Speaker 1: and I decided finally that the only thing to do 546 00:38:55,035 --> 00:38:57,635 Speaker 1: was to wrap up the towel in a newspaper and 547 00:38:57,755 --> 00:39:01,235 Speaker 1: take it away with me. I also decided to leave 548 00:39:01,275 --> 00:39:03,755 Speaker 1: a note for my friends, explaining as clearly as I 549 00:39:03,795 --> 00:39:05,995 Speaker 1: could that I would I was afraid there were two 550 00:39:06,115 --> 00:39:09,155 Speaker 1: needles in the bathtub and two needles in the wash bowl, 551 00:39:09,275 --> 00:39:14,595 Speaker 1: and that they better be careful. I looked everywhere in 552 00:39:14,595 --> 00:39:17,115 Speaker 1: the apartment, but I could not find a pencil or 553 00:39:17,115 --> 00:39:20,515 Speaker 1: a pen or a typewriter. I could find pieces of paper, 554 00:39:20,835 --> 00:39:24,275 Speaker 1: but nothing with which to write on them. I don't 555 00:39:24,315 --> 00:39:27,475 Speaker 1: know what gave me the idea a movie I had seen, 556 00:39:27,475 --> 00:39:30,155 Speaker 1: perhaps or a story I had read. But I suddenly 557 00:39:30,195 --> 00:39:34,715 Speaker 1: thought of writing a message with lipstick. The wife might 558 00:39:34,755 --> 00:39:37,115 Speaker 1: have an extra lipstick lying around, and if so, I 559 00:39:37,155 --> 00:39:41,795 Speaker 1: concluded it would be in the medicine cabinet. I went 560 00:39:41,875 --> 00:39:44,355 Speaker 1: back to the medicine cabinet and began poking around in 561 00:39:44,395 --> 00:39:47,635 Speaker 1: it for a lipstick. I saw what I thought looked 562 00:39:47,715 --> 00:39:49,515 Speaker 1: like the metal tip of one, and I got two 563 00:39:49,515 --> 00:39:52,195 Speaker 1: fingers around it began to pull gently. It was under 564 00:39:52,195 --> 00:39:56,155 Speaker 1: a lot of things. Every object in the medicine cabinet 565 00:39:56,195 --> 00:39:59,635 Speaker 1: began to slide. Bottles broke in the wash bowl and 566 00:39:59,715 --> 00:40:05,115 Speaker 1: on the floor, red, brown, and white liquids, spurted, nail files, scizzors, 567 00:40:05,275 --> 00:40:09,795 Speaker 1: razor blades, and miscellaneous objects sang and clattered and tinkled. 568 00:40:10,475 --> 00:40:17,835 Speaker 1: I was covered with perfume, peroxide, and cold cream. It 569 00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:20,835 Speaker 1: took me half an hour to get all the debris 570 00:40:20,875 --> 00:40:24,475 Speaker 1: all together in the middle of the bathroom floor. I 571 00:40:24,595 --> 00:40:27,875 Speaker 1: made no attempt to put anything back in the medicine cabinet. 572 00:40:28,555 --> 00:40:31,075 Speaker 1: I knew it would take a steadier hand than mine 573 00:40:31,115 --> 00:40:36,555 Speaker 1: and a less shattered spirit. Before I went away only 574 00:40:36,635 --> 00:40:40,675 Speaker 1: partly shaved and abandoned the shambles. I left a note 575 00:40:40,675 --> 00:40:42,355 Speaker 1: saying that I was afraid there were needles in the 576 00:40:42,395 --> 00:40:45,195 Speaker 1: bathtub and the washbowl, and that I had taken their towel, 577 00:40:45,435 --> 00:40:47,275 Speaker 1: and that I would call up and tell them everything. 578 00:40:47,395 --> 00:40:52,195 Speaker 1: I wrote it in iodine with the end of a toothbrush. 579 00:40:52,675 --> 00:40:55,315 Speaker 1: I have not yet called up. I'm sorry to say 580 00:40:55,875 --> 00:40:58,515 Speaker 1: I've neither found the courage nor thought up the words 581 00:40:58,555 --> 00:41:02,475 Speaker 1: to explain what happened. I suppose my friends believe that 582 00:41:02,555 --> 00:41:05,995 Speaker 1: I deliberately smashed up their bathroom and stole their towel. 583 00:41:07,515 --> 00:41:10,515 Speaker 1: I don't know for sure, because they have not yet 584 00:41:10,555 --> 00:41:18,675 Speaker 1: called me up either. Nine Needles by James Thurber, and 585 00:41:18,715 --> 00:41:24,835 Speaker 1: as I suggested in a broad sense on the same subject, 586 00:41:25,475 --> 00:41:29,755 Speaker 1: from his Fables for our Time and famous poems illustrated. 587 00:41:29,795 --> 00:41:33,955 Speaker 1: The Mouse who Went to the Country by James Thurber. 588 00:41:36,235 --> 00:41:39,115 Speaker 1: Once upon a Sunday there was a city mouse who 589 00:41:39,155 --> 00:41:41,795 Speaker 1: went to visit a country mouse. He hid away on 590 00:41:41,835 --> 00:41:43,835 Speaker 1: a train the country mouse had told him to take, 591 00:41:44,195 --> 00:41:46,875 Speaker 1: only to find that on Sundays it did not stop 592 00:41:46,915 --> 00:41:50,635 Speaker 1: at Beddington. Hence the city mouse could not get off 593 00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:54,395 Speaker 1: at Bettington and catch a bus for Cybert's Junction. Where 594 00:41:54,435 --> 00:41:56,995 Speaker 1: he was to be met by the country mouse. The 595 00:41:57,035 --> 00:41:59,715 Speaker 1: city mouse, in fact, was carried on to Middleburg, where 596 00:41:59,715 --> 00:42:01,955 Speaker 1: he waited three hours for a train to take him back. 597 00:42:02,675 --> 00:42:04,995 Speaker 1: When he got back to Beddington, he found out that 598 00:42:05,035 --> 00:42:08,835 Speaker 1: the last bus for Siebert's Junction had just left, so 599 00:42:08,915 --> 00:42:11,355 Speaker 1: he ran, and he ran, and he ran, and he 600 00:42:11,395 --> 00:42:14,195 Speaker 1: finally caught the bus and crept aboard, only to find 601 00:42:14,195 --> 00:42:16,275 Speaker 1: that it was not the bus for Sebert's Junction at all, 602 00:42:16,595 --> 00:42:19,955 Speaker 1: but was going in the opposite direction through Pells Hollow 603 00:42:20,235 --> 00:42:24,275 Speaker 1: and Grum to a place called Wimberbee. When the bus 604 00:42:24,275 --> 00:42:26,555 Speaker 1: finally stopped, the city mouse got out into a heavy 605 00:42:26,635 --> 00:42:28,955 Speaker 1: rain and found that there were no more buses that 606 00:42:29,115 --> 00:42:33,955 Speaker 1: night going anywhere. To the hell with it, said the 607 00:42:33,955 --> 00:42:36,235 Speaker 1: city mouse, and he walked back to the city. 608 00:42:37,035 --> 00:42:37,395 Speaker 3: Moral. 609 00:42:38,435 --> 00:42:44,075 Speaker 1: Stay where you are. You're sitting pretty The Mouse who 610 00:42:44,075 --> 00:43:00,035 Speaker 1: went to the Country by James Thurber. I've done all 611 00:43:00,075 --> 00:43:02,035 Speaker 1: the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. 612 00:43:02,115 --> 00:43:05,435 Speaker 1: Jimmy is solid, and tell everybody who doesn't listen to 613 00:43:05,435 --> 00:43:09,035 Speaker 1: to listen. In fact, post it on your Facebook wall. 614 00:43:09,155 --> 00:43:11,475 Speaker 1: I'm not on Facebook. I think that's part of the issue. 615 00:43:11,475 --> 00:43:11,715 Speaker 3: Here. 616 00:43:12,035 --> 00:43:14,315 Speaker 1: Countdown has come to you from the Vin Scully Studios 617 00:43:14,315 --> 00:43:18,395 Speaker 1: at the Olderman Broadcasting Empire in New York. There's a 618 00:43:18,515 --> 00:43:20,635 Speaker 1: video that I do every night promoting this thing. You 619 00:43:20,635 --> 00:43:23,875 Speaker 1: could put that on your wall. Put that on your wall. 620 00:43:24,115 --> 00:43:27,795 Speaker 1: Downtown Musical directors Brian Ray and John Phillip Schanel arranged, produced, 621 00:43:27,835 --> 00:43:31,435 Speaker 1: and performed most of our music. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration 622 00:43:31,515 --> 00:43:34,875 Speaker 1: and keyboards. Mister Ray was on guitars, bass and drums, 623 00:43:34,875 --> 00:43:37,795 Speaker 1: and it was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including 624 00:43:37,835 --> 00:43:40,955 Speaker 1: some of the Beethoven compositions, arranged and performed by the 625 00:43:40,955 --> 00:43:45,035 Speaker 1: group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is courtesy ESPN, Inc. 626 00:43:45,315 --> 00:43:47,315 Speaker 1: It was written by Mitch Warren Davis. We call it 627 00:43:47,315 --> 00:43:51,155 Speaker 1: the Olberman theme from ESPN two. Our satirical and pithy 628 00:43:51,235 --> 00:43:54,435 Speaker 1: musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the best baseball stadium 629 00:43:54,515 --> 00:43:57,275 Speaker 1: organist ever. Our announcer today was my friend Stevie van 630 00:43:57,435 --> 00:44:01,395 Speaker 1: zandt Everything else was pretty much my fault. That's countdown 631 00:44:01,395 --> 00:44:04,635 Speaker 1: for this the one tho seventy fourth day since dementia 632 00:44:04,835 --> 00:44:08,195 Speaker 1: Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government of 633 00:44:08,235 --> 00:44:12,595 Speaker 1: the United States. Use the Insurrection Act against him and them. 634 00:44:12,715 --> 00:44:16,915 Speaker 1: While we still can. The next scheduled countdown is Tuesday. 635 00:44:16,995 --> 00:44:19,635 Speaker 1: Bulletins as the news warrant till then, I'm Keith Olderman. 636 00:44:19,875 --> 00:44:40,355 Speaker 1: Good Morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with 637 00:44:40,475 --> 00:44:44,795 Speaker 1: Keith Oldreman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts 638 00:44:44,795 --> 00:44:49,555 Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 639 00:44:49,595 --> 00:44:50,955 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts.