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Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast.

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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi, I miss you. I miss you too.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I haven't like hung out with you

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Speaker 1: for a second. It's been like a couple of days

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Speaker 1: it's been You're not I feel like you're laughing at

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Speaker 1: me and I don't know why. It's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you feel like you're the butt of someone's joke,

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Speaker 1: but yet like you know it, but then in my

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Speaker 1: head you kind of are, Oh god, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: can we fill in me and the listeners with the

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Speaker 1: butt of the joke. It's way more fun in my head. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a don't I'm making No, there's nothing, nothing

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Speaker 1: at all. I don't know how you tell me. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what you mean. That's how I always feel

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Speaker 1: like it is. I'm like, I feel like there's something

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Speaker 1: you need to tell me, but I never know what

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Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, well, um, I am going to Ireland.

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Speaker 1: That's something, and Katherine was supposed to be coming and

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about it. Oh, oh, what's fun.

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Speaker 1: There's things I don't want to talk about, and there's

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Speaker 1: things Katherine doesn't want to talk about. Her passport was expired,

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Speaker 1: and then um, I didn't she never got it read whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's a long story short, she's not coming, but it's

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Speaker 1: going to be. I'm so pumped, like seriously, send me photos.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited for you. Which I started to freak

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Speaker 1: out though, because I was telling my therapist, sorry correction,

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Speaker 1: our therapist some things that I really want to do

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Speaker 1: next year and kind of like, um, like a dream

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Speaker 1: list of like what I want, and it was her idea,

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Speaker 1: so things that you like spiritually, emotionally, physically, relationally, things

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Speaker 1: that would just be and she goes and it's probably

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Speaker 1: or financially like so out of reach. She goes, I

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Speaker 1: mean like aim super big, so like under financially, it

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Speaker 1: was like I want to buy a like house one

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Speaker 1: time in a boat, and um, you know, spiritually, it's

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Speaker 1: like I wanna uh do like I want to get baptized,

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Speaker 1: I wanna go on this spiritual silence like there's like

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Speaker 1: just like shooting bang on like everything. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: she's like relationally and I was like, I go I

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Speaker 1: just started laughing, and she was, what, I just it's cheesy.

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Speaker 1: She goes, well, that's what it is. She's like, just

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Speaker 1: let it be the cheesy Durne Like she's like, this

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Speaker 1: is about like your like not your goals, but something

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Speaker 1: that's like what would like what ignites you, what would

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Speaker 1: make it exciting and happy? And I go, I have

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Speaker 1: this image and she she was like, okay, explain and

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Speaker 1: she has her pen and paper. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: just have this. I go, but I think it's bad.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a bad image. And she's like, can

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Speaker 1: you just tell me what it is? Seriously, I'm dying

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Speaker 1: to know. Okay. I've always made a big deal about

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Speaker 1: my forty birth day. Always. I always said I wanted

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Speaker 1: to just like blow it out, you know, even you

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Speaker 1: know my acts, like we always talked about I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I want a private plane. I want which, by the way,

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Speaker 1: I don't have enough money for a private plane. But

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Speaker 1: in my brain, I'm like I just wanted to be

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Speaker 1: huge and just like fun and we can all fly Delta,

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Speaker 1: but like in my flying were Southwest. I don't care

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Speaker 1: because I've phoned like three times on a private plane.

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Speaker 1: But just in my mind, I'm like, I've got my

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Speaker 1: best friends, We're on a plane and we go to

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Speaker 1: like an island does not to be a private island?

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Speaker 1: Just like an island. I mean pig like go for

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Speaker 1: it lane, private island, I know, but like in my

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Speaker 1: brain is still like realistic, and so I like having

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Speaker 1: all my friends and like dinner on the beach, and

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Speaker 1: then I was like I want to get engaged on

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Speaker 1: my forty birthday with like and then like fireworks, like

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Speaker 1: of course the fucker works. I'm a sucker for fireworks.

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Speaker 1: It's just like I cry every time, Like I just

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Speaker 1: like I'm a socker. Like they didn't make me cry,

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Speaker 1: but they're like so beautiful, you know, like there's just

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Speaker 1: something like so like free about fireworks. Um and I

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Speaker 1: go and she's like laughing at me, and she's like, no,

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Speaker 1: that's great, and I was like, no, that's so bad

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Speaker 1: because now I'm like, oh my god. If I'm yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm so nervous, like like it's where I was like

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Speaker 1: single under the covers crying because I was just like

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Speaker 1: I'm alone. So but I and also don't want to

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Speaker 1: settle for you know that either. But at the same time,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, after everything that I've been through, wouldn't that

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Speaker 1: just be like incredible, It would be amazing. It's gonna

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Speaker 1: be like whatever, guy, you're dating. Hey, she's turning for me.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna eat fireworks for a ring. It's fine. No,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's so like unrealistic. But at the same

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Speaker 1: time it was one of those things where I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: what did you kids? Just what a dream? But then yeah, um.

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Speaker 1: But then another thing on there too was travel, like

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Speaker 1: I want to go on a solo vacation, and when

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Speaker 1: you were not going to come to Ireland, I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I'm not. I'm not ready for it

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Speaker 1: right now, Like I'm not ready to go to Ireland,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm thinking, like I want to go to like

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Speaker 1: Florida by myself. You know. Um, I didn't think for

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Speaker 1: a second you would go on around. But I don't

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Speaker 1: blame you. I'm not saying that, like would you go

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Speaker 1: to I like and yourself very independent person, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know if I would go that far by myself. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that just seems like not not necessarily because I'd be

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Speaker 1: scared too. I just don't think it would be and

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Speaker 1: I love to be by myself, but I just don't

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Speaker 1: think it'd be fun. Yeah. Um, But I did just

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Speaker 1: do like kind of a solo tripp ish where I

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Speaker 1: like did my own stuff this past week in in Boston,

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Speaker 1: and it was like really nice. It was like kind

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Speaker 1: of the first step into like driving a rental car

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Speaker 1: and like exploring and it's really proud of you, and

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Speaker 1: it looked yeah, it was. I think my therapist is

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Speaker 1: gonna be mad at me. Well i'll tell I'll tell

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Speaker 1: the story after, um, because we have an amazing guest

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Speaker 1: and she's in the waiting room and it's all about

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Speaker 1: dating Patti Stanger, So let's take a break and then

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Speaker 1: bring her on and then I'll tell the story of Boston,

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Speaker 1: all right now before we bring in Patty. I just

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Speaker 1: got botox the other day because um, it was my

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Speaker 1: I like to call it my every six month preventative

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Speaker 1: lines and wrinkles because I like to still be natural.

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Speaker 1: But um my, my botox doctor gives me like the

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Speaker 1: actor talks, so I still can move, but um it's

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Speaker 1: going to help reduce my fine lines and wrinkles. That's

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Speaker 1: why I love it so much. Um, I've convinced all

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Speaker 1: my friends, right Catherine, I'm always like, all right, girl,

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Speaker 1: I love it. It's just so good and it's like

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Speaker 1: the makeup doesn't increase in the lines, and um, it's

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Speaker 1: been studied and I feel safe using it. It doesn't hurt,

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Speaker 1: it looks good, and again it's all about that preventative,

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Speaker 1: you know. Um So check out botox in your area

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Speaker 1: because if you want to get rid of some of

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Speaker 1: those fine lines and wrinkles, botox might just be the

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Speaker 1: right option for you, like it was for me and

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Speaker 1: Catherine and my friend Pamela down the street. Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Tyler, you did this good? Is my

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Speaker 1: newest sistant. I loved you better closed up than it

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Speaker 1: was before. Then it was back. I like that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you guys, we didn't mean to do that. This is

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Speaker 1: not what you're gonna wear in a date right now,

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Speaker 1: you know what? This is a great intro, Patty you

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Speaker 1: mean you are. I'm so first of all honored to

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Speaker 1: have you on the show because you are the best

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Speaker 1: of the best. But I have question for you because

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Speaker 1: you just said, like, I'm not gonna wear it's on

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Speaker 1: a date. Why couldn't you're wearing that a date now?

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Speaker 1: Unless you let it's the third date hiking but not

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Speaker 1: the first day. I was like, what is going on

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Speaker 1: today with lumberjacks? Did it? There is? But like it's

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Speaker 1: me though you know, like I'm like, I like when

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Speaker 1: you're like, you just got your boobs done, I want

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Speaker 1: you to wear those tank tops and let the girls breathe. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: I will say that people are getting very annoyedive how

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Speaker 1: often I show my boobs on social media now and

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Speaker 1: have boobs before, Like come on, you're allowed to be proud,

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Speaker 1: come on, curiously. But I will say that I did

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Speaker 1: go when I was and and I have to say

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Speaker 1: to Patty has been incredible with me the last few months,

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Speaker 1: like she's just been kind of my dating um go

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Speaker 1: to where I'm just like, Patty, what do I do?

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Speaker 1: I reached out to you when the Christis happened. I

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Speaker 1: was like, call me, call me, call me, because I

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Speaker 1: was there, so stick with the first time I did

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Speaker 1: your your your pot your radio or podcast show, and

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Speaker 1: he was there and it was like awkward and I

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Speaker 1: read him him and he said I read him right

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Speaker 1: of psychically reading him, and I'm like, yeah, don't do

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Speaker 1: it again. Remember yeah, I said to him, do it again.

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Speaker 1: You're done. That's it. No second chances, no third chances,

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Speaker 1: four chances whatever. And he goes, Okay, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: do it again. And then I was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: know so, and you're so gorgeous and so talented and

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Speaker 1: such a fine line with such a little bit low

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Speaker 1: self esteem. We're working on your self esteem. We're trying

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Speaker 1: to get you back, and I want girls to listen

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Speaker 1: to this. You are the deal, not the guy. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I know it seems like the guy has leverage right

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Speaker 1: now with the you know, slipping into the d M

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Speaker 1: s and you know, Cocta Instagram girls or the what

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Speaker 1: do they call the only fans girls my favorite sorry

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Speaker 1: only fans, But you know, you gotta like know that

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Speaker 1: you're worth more and no more sex without monogamy. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so that was a lot. I love this woman, Okay,

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Speaker 1: who I have so many questions. Let me just start

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Speaker 1: with all right, I'm here, Okay, my process breathe, Okay,

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Speaker 1: come to me, children and give me your The first

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Speaker 1: one is, honestly, I'm still stuck on the clothing because

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Speaker 1: I remember I was dating or I was like hanging

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Speaker 1: out this that one guy that I was talking to about,

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Speaker 1: and I remember being like I asked him, I was

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Speaker 1: like heels or these cute booties, and he's like heels.

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Speaker 1: But in my mind, I'm like, I want to wear

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Speaker 1: the booties, but like he thought heels were sex here.

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Speaker 1: So then I'm like, well, why didn't I just wear

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Speaker 1: what I want to freaking wear? And you gotta you

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Speaker 1: have to mirror the guy. So the guy there's high

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Speaker 1: top guys, there's heels, there's boots. You know, like my

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Speaker 1: ex he was heels. So when we had sex, he'd

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Speaker 1: go down. You know, I have a shoe wall, like

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Speaker 1: everybody knows how to me, I'm addicted to shoes. I'm true,

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Speaker 1: Carrie Bradshawn that way, he pulled up the shoes and

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Speaker 1: we screwed with the shoes on. It was like whatever

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Speaker 1: theme was tonight, you know the Red Shoes Diaries or

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Speaker 1: you know that, you know the catwoman shoes. It was

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Speaker 1: like crazy and I'd like, you know, I changed my

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Speaker 1: personality and having sex because of the shoes. I mean,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, can I wear my plan? Story?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm sorry, sorry, David Story met

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Speaker 1: my birks and whatever, asking for a friend. How do

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Speaker 1: long distance relationships work? Um, they're actually not bad. My

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Speaker 1: mom got married long distance and she was married three

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Speaker 1: times and she always got her man. It goes faster,

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Speaker 1: so there's more of like do we want to be

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Speaker 1: in this or not? And um, if there's a lag

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Speaker 1: with holidays because you have kids, or New Year's or

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, you know it's over because he's not coming forward. Um. Also,

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Speaker 1: he has to make more initiative to see you. So

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Speaker 1: the rule is every two weeks you must see each other.

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Speaker 1: You must smell, taste, touch Tyler, we're live here on

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Speaker 1: Kanda Cramer's podcast. Okay, seriously, my new assistant bumbling. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you want to see the person every two weeks.

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Speaker 1: Can't just be auditory. Women fall in love auditory between

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Speaker 1: between our ears because we're our new transmitters are working

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Speaker 1: like that. Men are visual. So in order for the

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Speaker 1: connection to solidify, you must taste touch of field. Now

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Speaker 1: this obviously if you're in the army, you know, serving

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Speaker 1: our country or doing something tremendous like you know, doctors

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Speaker 1: that borders or whatever. I'm not talking about this. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about a basic normal. I live in New York,

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Speaker 1: you live in l A. Are we gonna see each other?

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Speaker 1: And if you don't make the initiative after a certain points,

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Speaker 1: it will disintegrate. But a lot of times it heats

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Speaker 1: up faster and goes I can't live without you. I'm

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Speaker 1: sick of living, um so far away from you. And

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Speaker 1: this could be even you know, like an hour away

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Speaker 1: in the air, Like I live in New York and

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Speaker 1: he lives in Silicon or two hours to San Diego.

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Speaker 1: I have to drive, like it's not necessarily just he

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Speaker 1: lives in my geographic here, I mean in l A.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, the long distances west Hollywood to

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Speaker 1: the West Side. Nobody wants to drive. So there's that.

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Speaker 1: But a man who loves you a k dr Phil

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Speaker 1: I posted this yesterday, will swim rivers, climb mountains to

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Speaker 1: see you. And he's not engaging like that. The woman

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Speaker 1: will get doubt and it'll disintegrate. What do you think

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Speaker 1: I have done wrong? From the outside looking in? Well,

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Speaker 1: the last one, which we will not mention his name, Um,

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Speaker 1: you moved a little too quickly in the sex department,

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Speaker 1: and because you were both so newly dating, there was

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Speaker 1: this vulnerability between the two of you that you're scared.

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Speaker 1: So it's almost better to find the guy who's been

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Speaker 1: divorced a while. Divorcement are the best kept secret because

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Speaker 1: they can commit. So I would recommend dating someone who's

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Speaker 1: been divorced to three years and is ready for releaship.

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Speaker 1: He's not grieving the loss of his ax. He does

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Speaker 1: not in drama. There's no like I have to pay

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Speaker 1: her child support, I have to pay her alimony, and

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Speaker 1: I hate her guts and we're going to courtney. None

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Speaker 1: of that. I want to see, like, hey, she's got someone.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to have someone. And you, my dear, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to worship an adore you rather than and no

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Speaker 1: more fame. Let's get the fame out of the way.

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Speaker 1: That's another thing I don't like. Um, I see you

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Speaker 1: with a businessman, a ranch owner, somebody who really can

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Speaker 1: provide for you that you don't have to worry about money.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I see the best for you a tech guy.

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Speaker 1: Let's get a cute tech guy and dress him, you know,

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Speaker 1: take him to Bloomingdale's, look hot, and all of a

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Speaker 1: sudden he becomes a fine wine. But you know he

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Speaker 1: owns Google or something like. That's fair. That's a good plan,

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Speaker 1: you know. I'm like, I hear this. We we had

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Speaker 1: tried dating someone normal, we had we was and my

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Speaker 1: friends were like, you know, they really were like voting

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Speaker 1: for like the normal. Um. But it was interesting because

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Speaker 1: when because her husband is like my my big brother,

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Speaker 1: like he's he's kind of been through like the you

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Speaker 1: know the I don't like him and you know he

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Speaker 1: did well. He's the barometer to tell you if he's

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Speaker 1: a good dude or badger. Because her husband is looking

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Speaker 1: at for your best and she's she's like your brother

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Speaker 1: and she's like your sister. So you've got family here,

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Speaker 1: which I love. Um, she's looking out for you and

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Speaker 1: that's good. The last one I really like, the astrology,

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Speaker 1: and the last one I was really bummed out the

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Speaker 1: way he handled it. I could I could kick him

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Speaker 1: right now. But Taurus, you know I told you I'm

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Speaker 1: dating one and they're like, I'm Gemini. It's like killing me.

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Speaker 1: They are so slow and they think in their head.

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Speaker 1: They're in their head too much. You need to be

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Speaker 1: more in their dick, you know what I mean, because

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Speaker 1: because it becomes like over obsessing. And I want to

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Speaker 1: have fun and I want to be light and airy,

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Speaker 1: and you want to be romantic. You know what sign

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Speaker 1: are you? Jenna? I forgot right. You're like me some Gemini.

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Speaker 1: So we need that fluidity. We don't want to be

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Speaker 1: grounded to the point where we can't have fun, because

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Speaker 1: you already grounded with your kids. So we need someone

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Speaker 1: to take you away, you know, give you that fine

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Speaker 1: week in a way where your mind is turned off.

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Speaker 1: Because we're pretty fast in our brains. So I don't

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Speaker 1: mean normal where he doesn't. He's not dynamic, So I

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Speaker 1: want normal dynamic. So there's a difference. That's kind of

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Speaker 1: like what her husband was saying too, because you know,

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Speaker 1: when I had this person come over and meet people,

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Speaker 1: you know, he wasn't famous, and um, it was a

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Speaker 1: normal person. But her husband was like, he's the farthest

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Speaker 1: thing from normal because of I mean, yeah, he's got

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Speaker 1: like a normal job, but the way he talks about things,

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Speaker 1: the way he you know, it just I don't know

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Speaker 1: it just he wasn't and like I don't like someone

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Speaker 1: that's like money money, Like like, yeah, I don't care.

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Speaker 1: You're hustling, right, I got your Christmas movie coming out.

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Speaker 1: You're always on the roster with Lifetime and you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you're gonna get Netflix and all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: Um in Hallmarks, you come back to hall ork um

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Speaker 1: because I make um. But the point I'm making is

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Speaker 1: that you've got your pop asked, you got your products,

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Speaker 1: your Instagram's cranking, and then you've got this acting career

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Speaker 1: which you know you're you're amazing at, and music your

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Speaker 1: new single. He's got to understand that this is your

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Speaker 1: world and he can't be intimidated. He can't be thinking

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Speaker 1: about your money to pay his bills. So dynamic means

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Speaker 1: I'm I could be a scientist and an inventor of something,

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Speaker 1: and I love what I do and I make money,

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Speaker 1: and I come to the table at dinner and I

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Speaker 1: talk about my you talk about your We give each

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Speaker 1: other advice. Um, so I'm dating somebody like that right now.

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Speaker 1: Like he builds homes, and it's like when he talks

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Speaker 1: about work, I'm turned on. And the other day I said,

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Speaker 1: you haven't talked about work in a while, and he goes,

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Speaker 1: I haven't, And I go, I thought you'd be bored

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Speaker 1: like a board, like when you talk about work. I

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Speaker 1: am so turned on because I love that he builds

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Speaker 1: these homes for very famous people and they're gorgeous, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm in awe that I went to see one of

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Speaker 1: them in Beverlyals and I was like, you made this like,

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00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,199
Speaker 1: it's pretty amazing, so um dynamic. But he's normal, not

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Speaker 1: a gazillionaire. He's normal. You know. He pays for the dinner,

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Speaker 1: he takes me out, he plants, and the date is

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Speaker 1: a true gentleman like that, that's what you want. I'm

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Speaker 1: sexually attracted. He has dad energy. I like the dad energy.

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Speaker 1: I like that soothing dad energy. You know, like you're

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Speaker 1: not it's not dangerous, like when can you have When

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Speaker 1: can you have sex with someone? Though, well, when you

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Speaker 1: get have sex on the first date, but they have

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Speaker 1: to give you monogamy. Okay, okay, I don't have I

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00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,960
Speaker 1: don't have to. I don't have So let's let's preface.

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Speaker 1: You're over a certain age and you've got you're in menopause,

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Speaker 1: you have no oxytocin, clean your pipes up, protect yourself,

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00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,920
Speaker 1: you know, do your thing, um, use a robber condom whatever,

348
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,800
Speaker 1: perform at birth control to protects you from from STDs

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Speaker 1: and all that stuff. But I'm not gonna bond. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be more like, do I really like him after

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Speaker 1: of sex? So I'm kind of trying the goods out. Okay, You,

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Speaker 1: on the other hand, or opposite that, you've oxytocin. So

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Speaker 1: every time you sleep with someone, you emotionally bond and

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Speaker 1: it can hurt you take a long time for you

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Speaker 1: to get over that person of the way they treated you,

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Speaker 1: because to him, sex is sex. Men fall in love emotionally,

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Speaker 1: not through sex. But to tell women this, they don't

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Speaker 1: get it. They fall in love with the with the routine,

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00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: calling you, seeing you, even going to CBS and waiting

360
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Speaker 1: on that awful line. You know what I'm saying to

361
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Speaker 1: get your drugs, the terrible line. So what I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to say is like they fall in love with consistency

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Speaker 1: and then they emotionally fault. They do not fall in

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Speaker 1: love sexually. They might like you sexually, but they're not

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Speaker 1: gonna fall in love with you and give you a

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Speaker 1: ring for that, right m hm, I am How do

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Speaker 1: I say this? Um? Asking for a friend, I say

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Speaker 1: you should vibrate or more and less of him until

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Speaker 1: he showed he is. I believe in vibration as your

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Speaker 1: favorite boyfriend until that man shows up and says I'm trustworthy.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna text you, I'm gonna pay for you, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna take care of you, I'm gonna show you the

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Speaker 1: world if they can't do that. Back to the vibrator,

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00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I mean, so do I because

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Speaker 1: we all need our needs met. You know, you get

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Speaker 1: especially if you drink. You know, you get too tequilas

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00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 1: and you and you are knocking out your brain to

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Speaker 1: become beta to alpha. So when a woman drinks, she

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Speaker 1: becomes outphas pretty most aggressive. When a man drinks, he

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00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,440
Speaker 1: becomes passive, he becomes beta. So if you keep drinking

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00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 1: on these dates, you're not really feeling the normalcy of

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Speaker 1: who you really are, and you're getting clouded vision and

383
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 1: it's fought and you can have great sex. Drunk sex

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Speaker 1: is the best sex. I mean, come on, I'm the

385
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Speaker 1: first one to say with tequila you get babies. But

386
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:47,439
Speaker 1: at the same time, it's also clouding your vision of

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00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 1: the true relationship of what you want because that's just

388
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 1: a moment in time and that's not gonna give you.

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00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 1: That's not gonna pay the bills at the end of

390
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Speaker 1: the day, so to speak. I agree. Um Let's say

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Speaker 1: you have a boyfriend, right, it's a new relationship. How

392
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 1: do you how do you keep that relationship? Um? No,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're like especially not getting afraid of it. Well, like,

394
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 1: if you're like afraid of it, what do you mean

395
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 1: by afraid of it? Give me? Give me more example,

396
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 1: are we talking about here, We're talking about a friend

397
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: of yours, We're talking about you. What's going on here?

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00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 1: I mean, we don't need to put a label friend.

399
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: If you want me to assess the situation, I need

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00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,640
Speaker 1: the details, so I need to know. Let's just say

401
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 1: a newly divorced person has a boyfriend and is like,

402
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 1: it's scary scary. Let's go to scare Why is it

403
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 1: scary like a a failure that you're going to fail

404
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 1: again because you fail before. This person might feel fail yeah,

405
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 1: that they might fail again or doesn't like or like

406
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: oh lash, would it work because it's long distance? Or

407
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: is he questioning it? Are you questioning it? Are the

408
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 1: person girl? Is the girl questioning? Or the way is

409
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 1: the friend? I think the friend is? Um? It's just like,

410
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: how do I say that the friend is worried? Is

411
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 1: the girl? The girl is worried that you know? Um?

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Speaker 1: Because she always goes like, well we don't live in

413
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: the same state and this and that, like how is

414
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 1: it gonna work? Okay, okay, okay, that's not if you

415
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: are over analyzing. That relationship is over before you got interest.

416
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: So you have to be present in this relationship. You

417
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: have to take it like it's the last. If you

418
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: decided to be exclusive, you're exclusive, give it all you got.

419
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 1: If you decided to keep your options open and this

420
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Speaker 1: is just dating, then all you can count on is

421
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 1: the date and time that when you go on the

422
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 1: date with the person, and no more, nothing less. So

423
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: you can do could data parent a spare like my

424
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 1: book Become your Own Matchmaker and Amazon talks about this,

425
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 1: You can data parent a spare three people at all

426
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 1: times now. The first one is the person you really

427
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: really want. You wait for the phone to ring. You

428
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 1: can't believe you know he's He's so exciting you can't

429
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: wait to go on the The second one is the customer.

430
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: He's the over analyzer one. He's the one you're like,

431
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,880
Speaker 1: I'm not really sure, maybe not tall enough, not hot enough,

432
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: not rich enough, not whatever enough. And then the third

433
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 1: is the friend. He's cute, you can hang out with him,

434
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: you can take him to your sister's wedding, but at

435
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you never see yourself married

436
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: to him. A lot of times, the friend becomes the

437
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,879
Speaker 1: first one, by the way, the one you end up marrying.

438
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 1: So these positions rotate over time. If you keep busy

439
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: at three at all times, and I know it's hard

440
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,679
Speaker 1: to even get one. Do you tell the other guys

441
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 1: that you're dating? We're talking? It is an unspoken rule

442
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 1: that you are dating till he says to you, are

443
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 1: you dating anyone? Say I'm dating and then stop awkward pause,

444
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 1: and then he should say, well, alan want to see you,

445
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: and then you have the option to say yes or no.

446
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: Now when he offers you sex, you know, God, you

447
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 1: need to read my book, Joan. I wanted my books

448
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 1: last time. We don't know how to date. I don't

449
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 1: know how to out. I don't know how to date.

450
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,120
Speaker 1: Details are really in there and you can always download

451
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: it on m sound like kind or whatever. So when

452
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:06,120
Speaker 1: you are in a position of wanting monogamy right off

453
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: the bat, he can do it after the first strike

454
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 1: with sex, and then you stay to him. You know,

455
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: there's a whole I'm not gonna go through all the dialogue,

456
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 1: but the basics are. You know, I'm not that type

457
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 1: of girl who sleeps around. Um, I think you're really attractive.

458
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: I really like you. I just don't feel safe that way.

459
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 1: He'll go, what will make you feel safe? You'll go monogamy.

460
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: You don't say marriage, just say monogamy. I want to

461
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to date. I don't want to sleep

462
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 1: with a bunch of people. I want to be exclusive. Now,

463
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: in this day and age between COVID and STDs, a

464
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: normal guy would go, what are you talking about? We

465
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: are monogamous? He might assume it, but you have to

466
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: verbally stay down the record and probably the silver lighted

467
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: day not where he's trying to get you in his pants,

468
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: and you have a You have a conversation, And the

469
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 1: biggest problem women have is they don't have conversations with

470
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 1: mid All you do is spin in your head? What

471
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: could it be? Why is are you doing this? But

472
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 1: but you don't say to him, Hey, why'd you do this?

473
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,400
Speaker 1: When I made you confront the last one, you got

474
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 1: the answer. I said, you need to talk to him

475
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: and get down to you know, get down a business here,

476
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: like no more game playing? What's the story here? And

477
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 1: even though it was hard for you to process, it

478
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 1: gave you the strength to go I could do that again,

479
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 1: and I could do it earlier in the relationship, I

480
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: can say to myself, what do you want and what

481
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 1: do you want to do? Now, there are a lot

482
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: of men in line going to these women, what do

483
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: you want a relationship? I had one the other day.

484
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, what do you want? I

485
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: was like, what do you mean? What do I want?

486
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 1: And I was shocked that he asked me fifty million questions.

487
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: And I really like the other guy, so I was like,

488
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 1: who cares? But the point I'm making is that, um,

489
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,360
Speaker 1: he went so deep because he's so afraid to get hurt.

490
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 1: He's hedging. He's like a lawyer, you know, vetting me

491
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: like a politician. And we haven't even got met him yet.

492
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: I haven't even seen him on a FaceTime So I'm like, whoa.

493
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,119
Speaker 1: So that's good, that's good. That's leave this buyer's questions.

494
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: That means he's serious about a relationship, probably got hurt,

495
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: probably wants to make sure he's not gonna get hurt again.

496
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 1: And you could do the same thing, not naggingly. You

497
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 1: can stay to him. Listen, we're in different cities. How's

498
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: this gonna work? What's the game plan? Where do you

499
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: say yourself in two years you want to be married.

500
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 1: Can you see yourself your wife moves to you, or

501
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 1: you moved to your wife, Like could you see these things?

502
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: And then they will tell you the picture. In the

503
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,479
Speaker 1: early stages, there is no attachment, so they'll tell you

504
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: the truth. They won't they won't hesitate to go boom.

505
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 1: Men are just lunch. They just say it. Women are

506
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: the ones that hold back. We're you know, we're the

507
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 1: original cheaters, not men. Statistically, women cheat more than then

508
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 1: we just don't talk about it because we're embarrassed. Okay,

509
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: But the bottom line is if you say to them,

510
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: what's your plan where you see this going, They're gonna

511
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: tell you everything and you will make a decision. Now,

512
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: there's a sociopath in every group, but we're not talking

513
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: about associate bath a person. It's so true though, Like

514
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 1: how we because I have a little um we're called

515
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: the queendom text thread with you know, three of my

516
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: best girlfriends and you know how when I talk about

517
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: you know who I'm talking to or whatever, and they're

518
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: like just ask and I'm like, because we I we

519
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 1: make up these things and it's like, it's why why

520
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: don't you do that? What's what is your hesitcy to

521
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,239
Speaker 1: ask what's gonna have, what's the worst thing that's going

522
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: to happen? The what I don't want to hear, which

523
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: is what I don't want to dat you anymore. We

524
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 1: have rejection. Okay, so when you feel rejection, it's God's protection.

525
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: You must go to the place of this is not

526
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 1: my person. I want you to watch the series of

527
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: Love Life with Anna Chandrick. I fought watching the series

528
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 1: when it first came in. I was like, Oh, it

529
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: looks stupid, it looks dumb. It is the best series

530
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: on television for love and I don't say that very often. Um.

531
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 1: She goes through each episode, she goes through a new

532
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: guy and she's heartbroken and she can't get to the

533
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 1: one that she wants to get married. So it takes

534
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: place in New York. Um the very famous, um, very

535
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 1: famous actress is the voice over. She's British Leslie man Bill.

536
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,479
Speaker 1: Amazing actress by the way, and UM, we're watching it

537
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: from her from her point of view. And as a woman,

538
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: I went through the same thing she went. Now, I

539
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 1: was adopted, so I was a people pleaser. I was

540
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: not good enough to be loved because I was given

541
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 1: away so I had a bandoment issues and every relationship

542
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: would show up with this threat. And recently the guy

543
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: that I'm dating is like the spiritual guru, and he

544
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: said to me, what if you never get rid of

545
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: your abandonment issue, because you probably won't. It's how you

546
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 1: handle the abandoned issue. It's get to a point where

547
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: it doesn't trigger me anymore. Like or someone says to me,

548
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: why are you single and why are you not married?

549
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: And you're a matchmaker because I have my own issues,

550
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: you know. And so what you have to do is

551
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: look at the rejection as a gift because it's going

552
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: to teach you to be stronger. And the next guy

553
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: that comes along that says that to you says, he

554
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 1: goesn't right for me anyway. God is taking him out

555
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: of the game because he's gonna waste my time. He's

556
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: a place card holder. You don't want place card holder.

557
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: You want the real deal. And that's just gonna move

558
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: you further every person you meet as you further further

559
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: to the target. So you can't look at his rejection.

560
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 1: You got to look at his gift. You dodged a bullet, right,

561
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: But you don't look you don't look at it that way,

562
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: because you look at it like I was pretty enough,

563
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: and you go to these weird and secure places because

564
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: I know you, so you go to like I'm not

565
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: pretty enough, I'm not this enough, I'm not sexy enough.

566
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: And that's not what's about. They have their own issues

567
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: when they come to this this party. Yeah, you know,

568
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: I mean, and it is it's that the childhood thing like, oh,

569
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: it wasn't good enough for my dad to stay, you know,

570
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: so of course my dad is an alcoholic. Same thing,

571
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: it's like, why would any other man stay? And the

572
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: other thing is why do you have to track the

573
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: same type of man as the dad he cheated the

574
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: addiction because because your exit edition issues, so it's still

575
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 1: in the same family of addiction. And you're saying, why

576
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: am I trying to heal this person? You're not the

577
00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 1: doctor here. You're supposed to go you're a good dad,

578
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: but you're not good for me. Well and that yeah,

579
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 1: and with that, like I've looked at like the pattern,

580
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, everyone I've ever picked has

581
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: been unavailable to dad was unavailable, Yeah, I mean, it

582
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: was all unavailable. But then when there is the available

583
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's scary. I don't know, and my friends

584
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: are like, so why is it scary? Is because it's unfamiliar.

585
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: So RECIPI, or the famous note therapist, is one of

586
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: my best friends. You can watch our YouTube talks about this.

587
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: The mind only knows what's familiar. So if you've had

588
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 1: bad boys, there could be a thousand good guys in

589
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: the room, you will go right to the bad boy

590
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: you were. Mine will generally it's called the RAS, the

591
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 1: reticulating activated system. Your mind will go straight to the

592
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: one thing it knows and it's familiar. To undo the mind,

593
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: we have to do unfamiliar things that are uncomfortable, that

594
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: are out of our comfort zone. If you start doing that,

595
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 1: better men are going to show up because you're gonna

596
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 1: go Like, So the guy that I'm dating, it's totally

597
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: He says, he feels like he knows me for a

598
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 1: thousand years. I don't feel that way. I said, I'm

599
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 1: an alien visiting your planet. He's very unusual, and so

600
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 1: he doesn't feel familiar. But he's unfamiliar where I'm learning

601
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: things about myself through him, and even if we broke up,

602
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 1: I'm learning stuff about myself that I didn't know about that.

603
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 1: I'm healing myself, you know, and so every person that

604
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: shows up is a gift. And once you look at

605
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: it this way and go our time together has ended.

606
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 1: I'm off to the next one. You're not a failure

607
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: once you get on Instagram. You think you're failure. Once

608
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 1: you watch those idiot couples and you find out, oh

609
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: my god, they weren't in love. Split spill where I

610
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 1: read about myself on Reddit because those exactly was on

611
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: a terrible trail, like one in the morning last night.

612
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, I'm a terrible person, right,

613
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: And when you look at those when you look at

614
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: those couples and you feel so bad on a Sunday

615
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: afternoon and you open up the app and they had

616
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 1: this amazing weekend and they're in the sun, they're on

617
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: the boat. The boat. But but and then you find

618
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: out they really hate each other. So like that's a

619
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 1: story they're telling to get money, you know, they're like,

620
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: have their image and they want to make money off

621
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: of Instagram. That's not the reality of the situation. You know,

622
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 1: those couples you see at school with the pickups, lots

623
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 1: of those, lots of what's going on in that neighborhood

624
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: behind closed doors. I deal with them all the time.

625
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: They are miserable. So what you have to do is

626
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: say I can't. I gotta stay centered and stay on course.

627
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: I want my true love and nothing is going to

628
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,959
Speaker 1: stop me from getting it. Nothing, you know where I

629
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: think I was telling my girlfriends because they were asking me,

630
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 1: like what I was scared about? I said, I think

631
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 1: I'm so scared of being duped again. You had trauma, Johnny,

632
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: You've had trauma and you kept taking it back. How

633
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 1: could you possibly not feel that way? Like, give yourself

634
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 1: a break. A therapist would probably put you in the

635
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: chair for a hundred years for that. I'm not going

636
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: to do that. I'm gonna fix that now. Yes, love yourself.

637
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: Yes you got duped, you were gasp and lit. But

638
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: that's on him, not you. That's his karma. You don't

639
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 1: have to come back next lifetime with him, and you

640
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 1: can say I don't want to. I'm don't want a

641
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: man like that again. So trust is till they don't.

642
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: You can't till you don't get trust enough, like in

643
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 1: other words, like they will be there showing up and

644
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: giving you until they break the trust they lie to you,

645
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: You're done. We found out X lie to you last time, right,

646
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 1: he did a little thing on something app so we

647
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 1: now know he was lying. And so even if he

648
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: wasn't lying, the trust was broken. So if you keep

649
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: looking for it to be broken, it will keep showing

650
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: up broken. You have to say to yourself, I attract

651
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: trustworthy men who love and ador me, who are compatible

652
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: to me. And you got to say it over and

653
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: over again. You changed the brain monitoring is so good

654
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: to change the bain before you go sleep, when you

655
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 1: wake up on the toilet, do it in the shower.

656
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: Keep saying your mantra. You will make your own mantrap.

657
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: That's your homework assignment. One line that's really quick you

658
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 1: can remember. And you put now at the end of

659
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 1: the sentence, so you would go, I attract compatible men

660
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: who are honest, trustworthy, and adore and love me now

661
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: because compatible means you have chemistry, that you have a

662
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: lot of things in common. And then you get in

663
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: the shower and you say it over again. You wake

664
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 1: up in the morning, you stay it overnight the night before,

665
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: when you get to sleep, and you say it in

666
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: your sleep, it'll seep into your subconscious and it'll retrain

667
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 1: the brain. Because the brain is programmed to be fearful

668
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: flight or flight dinostaurs are dinostaurs are chasing us. What

669
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 1: we want to do is feel relaxed, no anxiety. And

670
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:33,280
Speaker 1: then when you're relax and no anxiety, the guy comes in. Relax,

671
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: no anxiety, Mirror to mirror. This is all it's like,

672
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 1: this is all subconscious. What's going on your your trauma,

673
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 1: your childhood does not define you. It's teaching you to

674
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 1: overcome obstacles. That's all it is. You can do this.

675
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 1: It is easy. I see this with my clients all

676
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: the time. When I do coaching with clients, I retrain

677
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 1: their brain so that even if I'm not fixing them up,

678
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 1: they could step off the plane and there's the magical

679
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 1: god that they've been looking for. And I see that

680
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 1: with all my clients. But you've got to do the work.

681
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 1: It doesn't magically just show up because you have trauma.

682
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: So trauma tracks trauma. You attract another person with trauma too.

683
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: I had some people right in some questions on Instagram,

684
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 1: and I waited through some of them. But I'm gonna

685
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 1: go through lightning round with you biggest red flags early

686
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: on there on Instagram too much, and they got a

687
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 1: lot of hot girls on their Instagram. I mean that's

688
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: the truth. I'm not gonna lie about that now. I

689
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: don't mean that they're Chris Evans and they got a

690
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 1: five million Instagram girls because it's Chris Evans. He's an avenger. Okay,

691
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 1: I'm talking average guy has more women than men. They're

692
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: all the type that he likes. He's following them. They're

693
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:52,240
Speaker 1: following men. They're flirting on Instagram or TikTok or whatever

694
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: social media you use. How to move on from an

695
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: X and experience life when you've been in a rut. Well,

696
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 1: you know, I have a website called Detracting a Soulmate

697
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 1: and it is It is subliminals, isochronics, bio chronics, which

698
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 1: you retrains the brain. You listen to music, you could

699
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: be cleaning your house or sleeping. There's typnosis, there's meditation,

700
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: Jovitelly the Star of the Secrets on there, and once

701
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: you start listening. I have one that gets over the X.

702
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: And I have told I have told more people to

703
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: use this and they have come back to me and said,

704
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: this thing works. Kelly howe Is wanted to lead in

705
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: Pioneers of Subliminals, and I was a big fan of person.

706
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 1: I created my own. It's probably the best thing you

707
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: could do because you're in pain and you want to

708
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: get over the pain, the memories, the loss feeling. Your

709
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: dream is done, so we have to create another dream

710
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 1: to replace that. Once you start living in that dream

711
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: in your mind, not in reality, in your mind, he

712
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: wipes away, he goes away, because now you're in this

713
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: new dream and then the person shows up. So it's

714
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: a very stuff conscious, this stuff. But these tools that

715
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 1: I created were because people can't sit in therapy for

716
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:08,399
Speaker 1: a thousand years and talk about the bullshit. Sure how

717
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: did not get discouraged with online dating. So I was

718
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 1: online for two years during the pandemic, and I was

719
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: incredibly discouraged, and I was not upset with the apps.

720
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: I was like, bumble, I think Whitney. I'm so proud

721
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 1: of Whitney being screwed over a Tinder and with those

722
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,760
Speaker 1: guys and creating the greatest app the black Stune just bought.

723
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 1: She's a billionaire and it's just went back. I'm so

724
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: I'm so in of her. Um. But it was a

725
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: very passive aggress It's about you get men on this

726
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 1: app and bumble and they want us to make the

727
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: first move, and then it would be men that wanted,

728
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: you know, us to um chase them. So I was

729
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: surprised I found an alfa on that app because I

730
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: found the sky on the app. But it took two

731
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 1: years and I was miserable. But the last boyfriend I

732
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: met I met on Plenty of Fish who I lived

733
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 1: with David from the show, and I worked for Marcus

734
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 1: who owns plenty because she created Swipe left and Swipe right.

735
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: Until Match Bottom, I had a great experience on. So

736
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 1: you will have good experiences and bad experiences on every app.

737
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 1: The key is to find the app that makes you

738
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 1: feel good. So switch around and there's niche apps. There's like,

739
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: you know, dog lovers or us and there's like I'm

740
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 1: a vegan and I love politics and I love fitness,

741
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: and their niche apps are smaller and they may not

742
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: be as big as Hinge or Tinder or whatever, but

743
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 1: they're gonna be more to your interests. And then there's

744
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: meet Up. I think meet Up is one of the

745
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: best places too. I know we were in a pandemic

746
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: for two years, but we're starting to get out there now,

747
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: even if we wear a mask. So if you love wine,

748
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 1: there's wine lovers. If you love hiking, there's hiking lovers.

749
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 1: Like start using different mediums till something. If you hit

750
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: one on any of these apps, you're gonna feel good,

751
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: even if it doesn't work out. The key is to

752
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: keep saying I attract quality men on the apps, and

753
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,399
Speaker 1: if you keep saying it over again, like when I'm

754
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,799
Speaker 1: swiping left and right, I'm going I attrack quality ment,

755
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,760
Speaker 1: I attract quality men, attract quality meant and then start betterment,

756
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 1: start showing up well, Patty, how can how can our

757
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: listeners be a client of yours? Read your stuff? Like

758
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 1: to give it right now? Okay, So you can go

759
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 1: to Millionaires Club one to three dot com. There's an

760
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: S and Millionaire's Club one to three dot com and

761
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 1: just ball the application process, whether you're a millionaire or

762
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: millionaires gear straight our fluid trans whatever, I'm lb G

763
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 1: t Q probably P. I don't remember all the wet letters,

764
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 1: but they know what I'm talking about. And then if

765
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: you just want to join and you don't have money

766
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: and you want me to fix you up, you can

767
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 1: register for free all all those categories. But UM, I

768
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: handle certain selective clients. I handle the v I p s,

769
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 1: the high end money guys. I'm really mostly work with

770
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: the men. And then my partner who runs my company, Erica,

771
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:52,840
Speaker 1: she runs the women's division. So we partnered our companies together.

772
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,879
Speaker 1: Um we even have a small millennial company for less

773
00:39:55,960 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 1: money called Sinc. So there's that. And you know, we're international.

774
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 1: We're in two hundred countries, so we're all over the world.

775
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: Caroline Stansbury is about to open up in Europe for me.

776
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: She's one of my close friends from Ladies of London

777
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 1: and she's shooting a show for BRABO right now. I'm

778
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:13,720
Speaker 1: really excited about that. So she's going to be opening

779
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,840
Speaker 1: up Europe. We just opened up in Silicon Valley and

780
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 1: now we're hoping to do Nashville next because I love

781
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,839
Speaker 1: those I love the cowboys. I love to horseback ride.

782
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: So I have a lot of friends in Nashville. Three

783
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: of my friends live a Nashville and they're are like,

784
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 1: come and buy a house here, you know, and like

785
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: and so I love the country scene. But we do everybody,

786
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 1: you know, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, it doesn't matter. We

787
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: were all encompassing, all access dating. And the other thing

788
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 1: is you can read my book or you can contact

789
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. You can DM me if you want

790
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 1: a console or you want me to coach you. I

791
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,280
Speaker 1: love it well, Patti, thank you so much. I appreciate you.

792
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: I want to I want to tell you one more,

793
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 1: one more quick thing. So I have a tool for

794
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 1: everyone to use if you're dating. It's called I Have

795
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: Loved dot Com. It's a fair moon. I'm sending you

796
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 1: guys some samples. Okay, um, I've been using this company

797
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: for five years, not getting paid right now to talk

798
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: about them. This is not a this is not a

799
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 1: you know, endorsement deal. This is strictly because it works.

800
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: It's a pheromone strayer, gay, straight or gay. There's different ones.

801
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 1: You go on I have Love dot Com and it

802
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: will bring them into you. And when I spray that

803
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 1: stuff on, men go wild. I have tested it without

804
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: at the bar. I would love you, guys to do

805
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: an experiment online with Janna. You take her out, she sprays,

806
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: and then you study who's coming up to her, maybe

807
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: even if maybe like a parents without partners event or

808
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: someplace where they're single men. You know, the merryman might

809
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: come over to I can't stop that. You're kicking up

810
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 1: the kids one morning. Don't blame me, but like put

811
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 1: it on when your ex comes over to pick up

812
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: the kids. See what he does. That's one of us.

813
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,399
Speaker 1: You're gonna love that I've loved. We're gonna send out

814
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: some samples or send up some some gifts for you

815
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: chat keys. But everyone should. It's so it's like forty bucks.

816
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: It's nothing, and attracting a soul meat is only. But

817
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,800
Speaker 1: I want to send out Everybody kept saying to me,

818
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 1: what can I do? What can I do? First of all,

819
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 1: we got to get out of the house. We can

820
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:17,120
Speaker 1: FaceTime on the second call like one call FaceTime, then

821
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: go out of the house because of COVID, But um,

822
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 1: you got to use these tools. You know, it's really

823
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: competitive out there with those little hotti pitaties. This girls.

824
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 1: It's not easy for the woman. Yeah, no, it's it's

825
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: not especially when uh men just get better looking older

826
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 1: and women just yes and they just want younger girls.

827
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: You you are studying, and I'm so surprised at some

828
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: actor like some like you know, the cute one that

829
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:45,720
Speaker 1: I know he's married, but the cute one that produced

830
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 1: the movie that you were on with Maria. I was like, Wow,

831
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: they're cute together. And that was like he's brobably married

832
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 1: because all those Hallmark and Lifetime guys are married. But

833
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 1: I was like, why can't we find someone through like

834
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: from the not the one trill, one tree heel category,

835
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 1: but like, you know some cute little actor who's like

836
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,959
Speaker 1: a normal guy who's trying to make his own money. Which,

837
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: by the way, um there's there was a site what's

838
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: it called do Do MOI don I just spoke. I

839
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: just did there. I just did them. Well, I just

840
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: they had said something about how it was dating Ryan

841
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,919
Speaker 1: and I'm just like things like that are so that's

842
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 1: not true. But I'll tell you. I'll tell you it's well,

843
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: it's it's so um, it's so wrong and so um.

844
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: I was telling her. I was like, it's just harmful.

845
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, he's married to and I love his wife.

846
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: They're just yes, I'm very fun and flirty on sets

847
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: posting what she can't she can't check it out. She's

848
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,919
Speaker 1: not like a detective. I know he does a really

849
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: good job. She's added a lot of cool stuff. But

850
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 1: I agree with you. It's very damn. I just think

851
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: for the people that like go on that site and um,

852
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 1: just just just try just either make up things just

853
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: because they say, oh, we had great chemistry, Like yes,

854
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 1: Ryan and I had great chemistry, but like you were actors,

855
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 1: and he's a really good friend of yours, very very

856
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 1: good friend, married nineteen years, has an amazing wife. And

857
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: it's like that's now, like that's not fair for anybody,

858
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: like you know, and to just make up stuff. And

859
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: so I just like sites like that. I'm like, but

860
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 1: but Joanne, look look at this. If you're attracted him,

861
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 1: just hypothetically, not that you are. If you're attracted him,

862
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: I would take him and put it into your visualization

863
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 1: before you go to sleep tonight and say I want

864
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 1: somebody like that, or you take any celebrity crush, wrap it.

865
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Pick your celebrity crush. Who's your celebrity crush?

866
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: That's an interesting question. Let me ask you a question.

867
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 1: Who's your celebrity crush? Mine? Yeah, who's it? Charlie Huntum,

868
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 1: oh my god, so do I love him? I watched,

869
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: but like it's just Jack's make sense, Like I don't

870
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: know if I like if my if my celebrity crush

871
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 1: is Charlie Hunt um or it's like I think it's

872
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: Jack's like the girl. I like him and I like

873
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 1: him in The Englishman, that Englishman movie where he's British,

874
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 1: so you have to watch him. He's British and he's

875
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: like a it's like the Mafia and he's the connector

876
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 1: to the mafia. It's like really good. He's amazing part

877
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 1: of that. But anyway, okay, so take that, use him

878
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 1: in your power tech start visualism. This is like this works.

879
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 1: I did this with my best friend, um. He was

880
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 1: in love with a girl. They broke up six months

881
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: ago and she wouldn't see him. She even send I'm

882
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 1: gonna send it restraining order to him, and I said, okay,

883
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 1: do you believe that I could make her come to you?

884
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: He goes, I don't know. I said, no, I go

885
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 1: watch this. So we worked every day and he was

886
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: going down in Miami and she deemed him and said

887
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: can I see you? And the way we worked it

888
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: as he visualized every day before he went to bed

889
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: that he was in love with her and they were

890
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 1: having this magical relationship regardless of what she was doing

891
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: in her life or thinking. He didn't let her on

892
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: Instagram affect him. She deemed him another dating So here's

893
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: the story. Take him, put them in your into your workshop,

894
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,760
Speaker 1: your visualization. Every night before you go to bed, tune

895
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,359
Speaker 1: out the lights, tune out the business, tune out the day,

896
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: tune out the kids, and just let him come to you.

897
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 1: And I bet you'll look alike shows up. If it's

898
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: not him, who knows he's not married yet, so we

899
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,399
Speaker 1: don't know what could happen. We're not looking for him,

900
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 1: You're looking for someone of that vibrational frequency that looks

901
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:06,399
Speaker 1: like him, who treats you like gold. Because we don't

902
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 1: know what Charlie is really like in relationship. And that's good.

903
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: Unless you know the better, you can manifest. So let's

904
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 1: manifest love for you internally versus going out there externally

905
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: and going on the scene. Because the truth of marriage,

906
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 1: you don't know what movie you're gonna get next, and

907
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 1: who's gonna shop and who's in the middle of a

908
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: dworce or who hasn't gotten married. You don't know what's

909
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: gonna happen tomorrow. Or you go to the grocery store

910
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 1: and a new guy bought a house in your neighborhood.

911
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: You don't know, but you can draw love to you.

912
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm trying to teach people. It works.

913
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: I did it with this guy. I worked on myself

914
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 1: for two years straight. I was sick of it and

915
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 1: I didn't want the same type of man. I kept

916
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: getting the emotionally unavailable hot guy. So I kept getting

917
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 1: and I was like, why do I keep getting? This

918
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,360
Speaker 1: is because of the abandonment issue, trying to get my

919
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 1: dad's love or my mom's lave. So you can do this,

920
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 1: and I bet you it works. I can work with you.

921
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: You can DM me and we can spend We'll do

922
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: some consolets on the phone without the podcast, and then

923
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 1: we'll come back and talk about it. Okay, thank you, Patty.

924
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:26,280
Speaker 1: I have her on speed dial. She's funny because she's

925
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 1: just she's got good, good tips, and I take, you know,

926
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: I take kind of everything what people say, and then

927
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 1: I form my what I'm gonna do, what I'm really

928
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 1: good because I'm really gonna end up doing what I wanted.

929
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 1: Of course, there's she has some great tips. So she

930
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 1: did like I remember, you know, like I don't really

931
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 1: listen to people like when Mark's like no and I'm

932
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: like yeah, so it's it's like it's so it's like

933
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 1: one of those up there is Oh you're in studio

934
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 1: boss man, check me out. He looks so official. Well,

935
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: thank you very much. It's gonna be back. So you're like,

936
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: back back. Yeah, well we're back back, kind of part time,

937
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,240
Speaker 1: back back, but it's going to be back back. Yeah.

938
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It feels like I have a life again.

939
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: It feels like, you know, like I have a purpose

940
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: in the world where they're just never leaving the spare

941
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: room in my house. Yeah, I mean I missed the fan,

942
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 1: you know, like in the closet and the fans. But no,

943
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: that must be weird though, But that's good that you're

944
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 1: back in the It is nice. It's starting to get

945
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 1: back to a little bit of regular left, although it's

946
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 1: still pretty much a ghost town here. There's really very

947
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: few people here. Wow. Crazy interesting. I wanted to play

948
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,239
Speaker 1: that game, but I don't know if we have time today. Huh. Yeah.

949
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 1: I think the game's gonna take a side side side

950
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: side side. We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna put it

951
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 1: to the side for we're going to do it at

952
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 1: some point. Yes, maybe. Oh so does that mean that

953
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: one of the race cars has taken the lead? Um?

954
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: One has taken the lead? Yes? Yeah, excellent, Okay, I

955
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 1: think that I would approve of this. Possibly, that's a

956
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 1: good question. Can I ask if you questions? Excited and

957
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: he's like, all right, let's do this again. Sure? Okay.

958
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 1: This is where I feel like I'm gonna vomit. It

959
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:14,279
Speaker 1: kind of makes me want to vomit to you a

960
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 1: little bit. Is this person an athlete? Is this person

961
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 1: a musician? Is this person an actor? Potentially? Is it

962
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 1: Charlie Huntum? Okay, um, Mark, he's going to get it

963
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,840
Speaker 1: starting like to sweat. Just give me a level of fame,

964
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:43,240
Speaker 1: like if I went to his IMDb be a long,

965
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 1: long scroll or would it be a more petite scroll?

966
00:49:48,440 --> 00:50:00,080
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe one page? Um? Respected a respected actor? Wow? Okay,

967
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 1: this is exciting. I think I think this is exciting.

968
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,879
Speaker 1: I have some concerns, but we don't have We're gonna

969
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 1: do it now. I know you have things to do,

970
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 1: but I'm intrigued. I got in three guesses, Amy, we

971
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 1: already got it, Wilt in three guesses. I don't know,

972
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 1: but you know what I saw this quote, um Instagram.

973
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,439
Speaker 1: I'm keeping this new dude private. I overhyped the last one.

974
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: That's probably smart. Yeah, I think you know in the

975
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 1: beginning you just kind of cut out all the outside

976
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 1: noise and figure it out before you fill in the listeners,

977
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 1: because who knows, yeah for sure? Right, all right, I

978
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: have a million more questions, but I don't want you

979
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,279
Speaker 1: to feel nauseous, so I'll just stop. Okay, Thanks, I

980
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: love you because right now I'm still focusing on me,

981
00:50:54,239 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 1: that's right, and doing my work. So um but out

982
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: to be continued. I'll share the rest of Boston and

983
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: all that stuff later, so you better listen for next week. Goodbye,

984
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: bye m