Speaker 1: Welcome to On the Job. On today's episode, we're headed
Speaker 1: to Western Pa to speak with Brian Murphy, who's a
Speaker 1: fifth generation small business owner and now with his kids
Speaker 1: nearing adulthood. The question is will there be a sixth
Speaker 1: when you're a kid? If you're lucky, death is a
Speaker 1: distant thing, something you rarely have to deal with. But
Speaker 1: for Brian Murphy, being the son of a funeral home director,
Speaker 1: meant that death was all around him, or more accurately,
Speaker 1: right in his backyard.
Speaker 2: And we lived behind the funeral home in a house behind.
Speaker 2: So as far as growing up next to the funeral home,
Speaker 2: I have very vivid memories of my dad going back
Speaker 2: and forth all the time, dinner's being interrupted.
Speaker 3: It was really hectic.
Speaker 1: Did the funeral home scare you as a kid or No?
Speaker 2: No, it never really scared me and maybe intrigued me
Speaker 2: first short period of time. But I think because in
Speaker 2: our house where we lived, on the first floor was
Speaker 2: the meeting room, so it was filled with caskets and
Speaker 2: all the memorabilia and merchandise. So every day walking home
Speaker 2: from school, coming in, that's the first thing you see.
Speaker 2: You kind of get used to it and it's like
Speaker 2: second nature almost, But as far as being you know,
Speaker 2: in the Morgars seeing things like that, no, it really
Speaker 2: never really bothered me.
Speaker 1: It might sound surprising that a young kid would be
Speaker 1: so blase about death, but as Brian sees it, that's
Speaker 1: just part of being a Murphy because for about as
Speaker 1: long as his ancestors have been in these parts, they've
Speaker 1: been in the funeral business.
Speaker 2: Well, like I said, it started with William Andrew Hartzel,
Speaker 2: then it moved to Fred C. Murphy who was my
Speaker 2: great grandfather, and then William A. H. Murphy who was
Speaker 2: my grandfather, William F. Murphy who was my father, and
Speaker 2: then there's me.
Speaker 1: Though interestingly enough, that wasn't their original business plan.
Speaker 2: The funeral home was actually wasn't a funeral home. That
Speaker 2: wasn't our purpose. My great great grandfather he moved to Rochester, Pennsylvania,
Speaker 2: and he was a cabinet furniture maker and opened Heartsol's
Speaker 2: Furniture Company.
Speaker 3: Well, it didn't take long for.
Speaker 2: That to snowball into Heartsol Furniture and Undertaking Company because
Speaker 2: back in those times, the furniture makers.
Speaker 3: Also built the caskets.
Speaker 2: So a lot of the furniture makers who built the
Speaker 2: caskets just became snowballed into a funeral director and an embalmer.
Speaker 1: While the funeral business might not have been Brian's great
Speaker 1: great grandfather's initial choice, that pivot from furniture maker to
Speaker 1: undertaker turned out to be a savvy career move because
Speaker 1: the funeral home that he started has managed to stay
Speaker 1: in Brian's family for five generations, which makes the William
Speaker 1: Murphy Funeral Home a complete rarity in American business. According
Speaker 1: to a study by Cornell University, only forty percent of
Speaker 1: American owned businesses are passed down to the next generation,
Speaker 1: and only thirteen percent make it to the third, and
Speaker 1: amasly three percent reached the fourth generation. So what the
Speaker 1: Murphy family has managed to do for five generations in
Speaker 1: Rochester is quite the feat. In fact, that study I
Speaker 1: cited didn't even have statistics on fifth gen businesses.
Speaker 2: He started the funeral home here in Rochester in eighteen
Speaker 2: eighty five, the same location and same family ever since.
Speaker 4: When you were a kid, were you proud of what
Speaker 4: your dad did?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, I was definitely proud.
Speaker 2: You know, you went to high school, you went to
Speaker 2: Wittenberg University, went immediately to the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary
Speaker 2: Science immediately into here and from that point on. My
Speaker 2: dad was twenty five and was running pretty successful business
Speaker 2: and only made it more successful with all his time
Speaker 2: and dedication.
Speaker 1: Well, Brian was proud of the business his family had
Speaker 1: built and maintained through the years. He could also see
Speaker 1: that running such a business didn't come easy, So.
Speaker 2: I didn't really see a whole lot of him other
Speaker 2: than at the funeral home. If I were to go
Speaker 2: to the funeral home, I would see him a lot
Speaker 2: over there, but not so much at the house.
Speaker 1: Did that leave a negative impression on you about the
Speaker 1: business that it took so much of your dad's time.
Speaker 2: It did, but I didn't realize it until I got older.
Speaker 2: I always, you know, wondered why we couldn't go on
Speaker 2: vacations like every other family, or you know, why my
Speaker 2: dad wasn't at my sporting events or different activities was
Speaker 2: because he thought he was the only one available to
Speaker 2: be here, and he just surrounded himself with the funeral
Speaker 2: home and everything else kind of came in second fiddle.
Speaker 1: Did you at any point feel on the most trapped
Speaker 1: or the fact that you if you didn't want to
Speaker 1: go into the family business, like you'd be letting him
Speaker 1: or your grandparents down, or great grandparents.
Speaker 2: More so my grandparents, I feel like I'd be letting
Speaker 2: them down. My grandpa and I were thick as thieves,
Speaker 2: and as close as we were, that's how close my
Speaker 2: father and I weren't. So I felt more of an
Speaker 2: obligation towards my grandfather at that point in time than
Speaker 2: I did to my dad, for a bunch of different reasons.
Speaker 1: In his teens, Brian had always hoped that one day
Speaker 1: his father would sit him down and have that talk,
Speaker 1: the talk that had been passed down from one Murphy
Speaker 1: generation to the next.
Speaker 2: And say, Brian, we've been here since eighteen eighty five.
Speaker 2: I'm the fourth generation. You're my son, I'm your dad.
Speaker 2: I really want to work with you. I really want
Speaker 2: you to join the business. Looking back on it now,
Speaker 2: he would tell you he wanted me to come to him.
Speaker 2: So it was kind of, you know, butting heads. So yeah,
Speaker 2: with that being said, he was just kind of a
Speaker 2: little colder than I would have liked him to be.
Speaker 1: But in fairness to Brian's dad, William Murphy, Brian admits
Speaker 1: that he wasn't in any condition back then to be
Speaker 1: entrusted with such responsibility.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I started. I had my first drink when I
Speaker 2: was thirteen, and it just snowballed. By the time I
Speaker 2: was a senior in high school, I was drinking, you know,
Speaker 2: probably four or five nights a week.
Speaker 3: I tried to go to college. That didn't work. I
Speaker 3: went there for about a year.
Speaker 1: Brian described himself in those years as a functioning alcoholic,
Speaker 1: able to hold down jobs and make ends meet, but
Speaker 1: far from thriving.
Speaker 2: My life really didn't have any function or purpose, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. I wanted it to mean something,
Speaker 2: but I was I wanted my career and profession to
Speaker 2: do something.
Speaker 1: Fortunately, though, soon after getting married, Brian realized the path
Speaker 1: that he was on would only end in tragedy, and
Speaker 1: that's something needed to give.
Speaker 2: And I just decided it was time to get sober.
Speaker 2: I mean, it had been a long, miserable road and
Speaker 2: I just felt I needed to make a change. I
Speaker 2: entered rehab. I was supposed to be in there for
Speaker 2: thirty days. They let me out after sixteen because they
Speaker 2: said my accountsor had never He said he had never
Speaker 2: seen an alcoholic attack his sobriety the way I did
Speaker 2: so they cut me loose. I worked three jobs for
Speaker 2: the next year and a half, trying to prove myself
Speaker 2: and staying sober and staying straight.
Speaker 1: Then on Brian's two year anniversary of getting sober, his
Speaker 1: father said it was time they talk. When we come
Speaker 1: back from the break, Brian Murphy joins the family business.
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Speaker 1: We're back with Brian Murphy, who, after getting sober, had
Speaker 1: just been asked by his dad if he'd like to
Speaker 1: go into the family trade.
Speaker 2: Now, by that time, I was thirty six or thirty seven,
Speaker 2: so I had a pretty late start, but I was
Speaker 2: still starting, and I enrolled in the Pittsburgh Institute of
Speaker 2: Mortuary Science when I was thirty seven and graduated right
Speaker 2: after my fortieth birthday.
Speaker 4: Well done, nice, thank you.
Speaker 1: I imagine that must have been stressful, coming off your
Speaker 1: recent sobriety to sort of dive in to this thing
Speaker 1: and the sort of stakes of being the fifth generation
Speaker 1: and the responsibility you felt.
Speaker 2: Definitely, I mean it was all or nothing at that point.
Speaker 2: I had put everything into that basket. I worked really
Speaker 2: hard at obtaining my sobriety, worked even harder at maintaining it.
Speaker 2: My family had noticed that, My father had seen that,
Speaker 2: and I was proud of all the work that my
Speaker 2: predecessors had put in to get this place to where
Speaker 2: it is today. And like I said, I wasn't going
Speaker 2: to be the one to let everyone down and be.
Speaker 3: The last generation.
Speaker 2: I just became a different man, did a complete one eighty,
Speaker 2: and was ready to take on the responsibilities now of
Speaker 2: the funeral home.
Speaker 1: There are a few reasons that family businesses don't tend
Speaker 1: to last, but one of the biggest is that it
Speaker 1: can be really hard to mix the two, and Brian
Speaker 1: knows that all too well. He says, those first two
Speaker 1: years of working with his dad, we're far from easy.
Speaker 4: Is it problematic to mix family and business?
Speaker 3: I think you know the answer to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, because you're family, but you're also coworkers, you know,
Speaker 2: and sometimes that's hard to differentiate. That's a real fine
Speaker 2: line because my dad and I have had some real
Speaker 2: knockdown drag outs in this building and we're supposed to
Speaker 2: have a family birthday party that night, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 3: So it's just kind of.
Speaker 2: How do you maneuver and how do you work around
Speaker 2: everyone's feelings? And it's really made me a better person.
Speaker 2: It's made me a better person, better a husband, better father,
Speaker 2: better funeral director, better listener because instead of trying to
Speaker 2: get my point across, I'm now listening to what you
Speaker 2: need and then find some common ground.
Speaker 1: But there was one thing that Brian was unwilling to
Speaker 1: compromise on, and that was a love and attention that
Speaker 1: he gave to a wife and kids.
Speaker 3: I stood my ground, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: He's the type if you let him take it, he's
Speaker 2: going to take it, you know what I mean, which
Speaker 2: isn't a bad thing when it comes to the business,
Speaker 2: because that's his primary focus. I'm focused on the business,
Speaker 2: but I'm focused on my family at the same time.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be able. The way I look
Speaker 2: at it is, how am I as a funeral director?
Speaker 2: Going to be able to take care of you and
Speaker 2: your family and your time of need when my family's
Speaker 2: a mess. It's hypocritical to a degree, I think, but yeah,
Speaker 2: I have to have my house in working order for
Speaker 2: me to take care of you and yours.
Speaker 1: Over time, though, Brian and his father came to understand
Speaker 1: each other in ways they hadn't before, and at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, both of them knew that they
Speaker 1: shared the same goal serving their community the way the
Speaker 1: Murphy family always had.
Speaker 4: Do you enjoy the funeral business?
Speaker 3: I do. I do.
Speaker 2: I'm very glad and satisfied that I got into it.
Speaker 2: It satisfies me both physically and mentally. You know, as
Speaker 2: long as I can put in a good, long day
Speaker 2: of hard work and I can rest easy at night
Speaker 2: knowing I did something positive, not only for myself, but
Speaker 2: maybe for someone else too.
Speaker 1: And while Brian admits that the job is very demanding,
Speaker 1: he makes great efforts to maintain a relatively healthy work
Speaker 1: life balance, even though he and his family now live
Speaker 1: in his childhood house just steps from the funeral home.
Speaker 2: My dad moved out and my family and I moved in,
Speaker 2: so I'm seventy four feet from the front door.
Speaker 3: But it works to a degree.
Speaker 2: I guess it's nice when I need to be here,
Speaker 2: but it's kind of a paint in the butt when
Speaker 2: I don't need to be here, but I'm still here,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: But we make it work.
Speaker 4: The commute's not bad, no, not at all.
Speaker 3: Saves on gas so well.
Speaker 1: He might have gotten a bit of a later start
Speaker 1: than some of the other Murphys that came before him.
Speaker 1: Brian has come into his own as the fifth member
Speaker 1: of the family to run the businesusiness.
Speaker 2: I particularly love embalming. I love bringing someone's loved one
Speaker 2: back to where they can remember them and having closure,
Speaker 2: get good closure.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I don't want someone that's been ravaged with a disease
Speaker 2: for four years. I don't want their family having to
Speaker 2: come in and relive that. I want to make this
Speaker 2: person look like they did at their sixty fifth birthday party,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, and give the family some
Speaker 2: solace and some comfort knowing that their loved one, you know,
Speaker 2: looks fine and it's going to be laid to rest
Speaker 2: in a peaceful manner. One of the first things I
Speaker 2: said when I was licensed and started this, I said,
Speaker 2: my last day will be the day that I don't
Speaker 2: feel some sort of emotion for the family or the deceiting.
Speaker 1: Well, that day seems a long ways off. The question
Speaker 1: on the back of Brian's mind is who will take
Speaker 1: over the business. So far, Brian's two kids, who are
Speaker 1: seventeen and nineteen, have expressed that they might want to
Speaker 1: try different career paths, which Brian accepts, wanting, as any
Speaker 1: great dad would, whatever is best for his kids, even
Speaker 1: if it means the end of a nearly century and
Speaker 1: a half streak.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to have them join me and
Speaker 2: my dad and work side by side and just flourish
Speaker 2: and have it become what it will become.
Speaker 3: That would be great.
Speaker 2: But if they choose not to, then no, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to heart any ill will or ill feelings because
Speaker 2: I know what this profession asks of you and that
Speaker 2: can be a lot.
Speaker 1: In the meanwhile, he's taken on some interns from the
Speaker 1: nearby mortician school and tries to prepare himself for a
Speaker 1: day in which the funeral home will no longer have
Speaker 1: a Murphy at its helm.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure there will be some feelings because it's
Speaker 2: going to be hard, you know what I mean? It's
Speaker 2: something I've known my entire life, but I can honestly
Speaker 2: tell you that I think when that day comes, I
Speaker 2: can hand those keys over knowing that myself, my dad,
Speaker 2: my grandfather, my entire family did the absolute best we
Speaker 2: could for this community.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Brian has made sure that his kids know
Speaker 1: he supports whatever it is they choose to do with
Speaker 1: their lives, but regardless of where their roads.
Speaker 4: Might lead them.
Speaker 1: Brian also felt a need to sit his kids down
Speaker 1: and have that old Murphy talk.
Speaker 2: And even though I knew, you know, Parker and Ella
Speaker 2: probably weren't going to come this path, I at least
Speaker 2: wanted them to know that I wanted them to and
Speaker 2: the door was open. It was actually like two weeks ago.
Speaker 2: I sat them both down and said, hey, guys, you know,
Speaker 2: I know you're probably not interested or you know, don't
Speaker 2: want anything to do with the funeral home professionally, I said,
Speaker 2: but I need you to know, as your father that
Speaker 2: I welcome you if.
Speaker 3: You so choose.
Speaker 4: They said no.
Speaker 2: My son kind of chuckled because we both knew where
Speaker 2: that was going. My daughter, on the other hand, lately,
Speaker 2: within the last probably two months, has shown more interest
Speaker 2: than she ever has. She actually wants to come over
Speaker 2: and witness an embalming and kind of get the feel
Speaker 2: for that to see if she may or.
Speaker 3: May not like it. So there's a heartbeat.
Speaker 1: For on the job. I'm Averrey Thompson.