1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,840
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

2
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,120
Speaker 2: This is John, your og Okay Storytime podcast host, and

3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:04,680
Speaker 2: we got.

4
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,640
Speaker 3: Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

5
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,960
Speaker 4: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

6
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,959
Speaker 4: just stick around for a two minute break with a

7
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,400
Speaker 4: word from our sponsors.

8
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,600
Speaker 1: My new friend weirds me out.

9
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,119
Speaker 2: Now she's telling everyone we're best friends.

10
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,479
Speaker 1: That's a weird thing to do.

11
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,400
Speaker 2: So a few months ago, I, female twenty nine, met

12
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:27,200
Speaker 2: this girl Amy, also female twenty nine, through BUMBLEBFF. The

13
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,280
Speaker 2: first time we met was fine at first, but she

14
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,760
Speaker 2: made a strange comment about recognizing me as her ex's ex.

15
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,600
Speaker 2: We both dated the same guy, but at different times.

16
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,080
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Express Middle eighty five,

17
00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,040
Speaker 2: twenty five, and if you want to smit your own stories,

18
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,040
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it.

19
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,839
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon.

20
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,479
Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice Gooflee, But we

21
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,800
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

22
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,800
Speaker 2: so let us know what you would do. In the comments,

23
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,360
Speaker 2: I joked that he looked like his mom, partly because

24
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,080
Speaker 2: his mom Oz always wanted her son's future partner to

25
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,280
Speaker 2: look like her, which was something I found kind of weird.

26
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,400
Speaker 2: But then Amy made a harsher comment saying his current

27
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,320
Speaker 2: girlfriend looked like his helper, which I thought was really unnecessary. Still,

28
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,400
Speaker 2: I brushed it off and tried to focus on getting

29
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,040
Speaker 2: to know her. We discovered we both liked horror and

30
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,360
Speaker 2: thriller movies, so we planned to go watch Sinners together.

31
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,199
Speaker 2: The movie was fine, but afterwards she started talking about

32
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,319
Speaker 2: how hot she is and how our ex, who she

33
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,560
Speaker 2: broke up with years ago because their horoscopes don't match,

34
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,000
Speaker 2: shouldn't have moved on because this girlfriend isn't attractive anyway.

35
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,720
Speaker 2: She also got upset that her ex had blocked her.

36
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,800
Speaker 2: Apparently she had booked a restaurant after they broke up,

37
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,479
Speaker 2: and his old contact info was still tied to it,

38
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:39,440
Speaker 2: so the restaurant details got sent to him. I told

39
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,959
Speaker 2: her to just leave it alone unless he reached out first,

40
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,480
Speaker 2: but that night he blocked her, and she went on

41
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,200
Speaker 2: about how it must have been his insecure new girlfriend

42
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,520
Speaker 2: who made him do it. I told her to let

43
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,760
Speaker 2: it go, but she kept spiraling about it. Third time

44
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,040
Speaker 2: we met, we went to a bar she'd been wanting

45
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,840
Speaker 2: to try. It was a bit boring, so we headed

46
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 2: to another one and ended up having some deeper conversations.

47
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:05,120
Speaker 2: After a few drinks, while I was talking about something emotional,

48
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,880
Speaker 2: she got sentimental and suddenly kissed my shoulder. That made

49
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,800
Speaker 2: me really uncomfortable. I suddenly shifted away, but she moved closer.

50
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,440
Speaker 2: I didn't want to make a scene, so I stayed

51
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 2: polite but left early after that, I started talking to

52
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,280
Speaker 2: her less About a month later, I met another girl,

53
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,120
Speaker 2: b twenty four on bumble BFF. She invited me to

54
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,480
Speaker 2: a group lunch with some other girls, including a few

55
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,680
Speaker 2: I already knew through the app. She told me she

56
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,400
Speaker 2: invited Amy too, but it turned out she hadn't. I

57
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,880
Speaker 2: felt bad, so I texted Amy to ask if she

58
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,560
Speaker 2: was coming, and she said she didn't even know about it.

59
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,560
Speaker 2: I apologize since it wasn't my event. At that lunch,

60
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,640
Speaker 2: I got along really well with another girl, Claire twenty five,

61
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,840
Speaker 2: and we started hanging out regularly trivia nights.

62
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,160
Speaker 1: Movies, etc.

63
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:57,240
Speaker 2: Pausing really quick, I, if you knew that Amy wasn't invited,

64
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:03,480
Speaker 2: I probably wouldn't have gone and told her about the

65
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,400
Speaker 2: event because it just makes her feel bad. And it's

66
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 2: as you said, it's not your event, so like, you

67
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,840
Speaker 2: can't invite her. If she hasn't been invited, I probably

68
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,560
Speaker 2: would not have told her. When I later hosted a

69
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,480
Speaker 2: movie night, I invited a bunch of people, including both

70
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,800
Speaker 2: Amy and B because I didn't want drama. B ended

71
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,000
Speaker 2: up canceling last minute, but Claire and a few other came,

72
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,320
Speaker 2: and a few others came. During the evening, A started

73
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 2: saying a lot of things that made people uncomfortable. We

74
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 2: were watching K Pop Teman Hunters, and I made a

75
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 2: casual comment about how kids movies sometimes have jokes or

76
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,040
Speaker 2: innuendos that only make sense when you're older. Amy suddenly

77
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,880
Speaker 2: went off, saying it's disgusting and that she's gonna tell

78
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,640
Speaker 2: our students' parents she teaches sixth grade not to let

79
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,640
Speaker 2: their kids watch it. Then then kids can't watch like

80
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,240
Speaker 2: half the movies from my childhood.

81
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,120
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, there's a lot of things that

82
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,960
Speaker 3: are innuendos for just adults. Yeah, that's funny.

83
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's going to be so so many movies that

84
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,680
Speaker 2: she can't watch. I said that if parents are okay

85
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,840
Speaker 2: with it, it's fine, and the kids usually don't even

86
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,520
Speaker 2: notice these things. I know from being around my nieces

87
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,160
Speaker 2: and nephews. She snapped and said, you don't know anything

88
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,760
Speaker 2: about children. Then she went into this rant about how

89
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,320
Speaker 2: parents these days just want to have kids but don't

90
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,880
Speaker 2: know how to take responsibility for them. She said things

91
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,880
Speaker 2: like kids get too much screen time, parents are too busy,

92
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,600
Speaker 2: how she has to call parents for every small thing

93
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,599
Speaker 2: at school. Then she said it was so much easier

94
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,080
Speaker 2: when women stayed home because schools could always reach the

95
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,839
Speaker 2: mother's That's when I stepped in and said that's sexist

96
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,960
Speaker 2: and outdated. I said, not every family can live on

97
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,960
Speaker 2: one income, and women deserve to work and have lives too.

98
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,760
Speaker 2: My friends agreed and added that modern parenting is about

99
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:51,039
Speaker 2: shared responsibility, not just mothers being on call. Amy got

100
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,599
Speaker 2: defensive and angry that no one agreed with her. The

101
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:58,920
Speaker 2: whole vibe was gone after that. Later that night, I

102
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,240
Speaker 2: texted her to texted her to check in. She said

103
00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:03,920
Speaker 2: she didn't like the group and wouldn't want to meet

104
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 2: them again.

105
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,040
Speaker 1: I left it at that.

106
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,000
Speaker 2: And stopped inviting her to group things since everyone else

107
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,920
Speaker 2: felt uncomfortable around her. A few weeks later, I ran

108
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,440
Speaker 2: into her at a Dandy Night, a dance event. While

109
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,560
Speaker 2: I was dancing. She suddenly came up and hugged me middance,

110
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,240
Speaker 2: breaking the entire circle and disrupting the flow. Everyone had

111
00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:27,800
Speaker 2: to restart and my friends were irritated. She later texted

112
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 2: asking why I wasn't happy to see her, and even

113
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 2: said my friend didn't look happy to see her either.

114
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,599
Speaker 2: Then she brought up my ex again. See now, I

115
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,200
Speaker 2: only we talk about it once. We say that's crazy.

116
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,920
Speaker 2: We both did the same person, and then we stopped

117
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:43,680
Speaker 2: talking about it.

118
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,640
Speaker 1: And this is a person who wonders why people aren't

119
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,359
Speaker 1: happy to see you.

120
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, then she brought up my ex again. I politely

121
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,000
Speaker 2: told her I don't like talking about him anymore. A

122
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,800
Speaker 2: little after that, I invited her to a pooja, a

123
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,360
Speaker 2: prayer gathering at home. I baited whether to include her,

124
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,960
Speaker 2: but my parents said not to exclude anyone for something religious,

125
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,200
Speaker 2: so I did. She came and started asking what I

126
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,800
Speaker 2: was doing for my birthday, which was soon, and when

127
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,920
Speaker 2: I said I wasn't sure and probably wanted to do

128
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:17,000
Speaker 2: something small, she seemed disappointed. Then she tested we get

129
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,800
Speaker 2: matching tattoos, and when I said no, she pursued for

130
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:25,680
Speaker 2: matching piercings or matching outfits for my birthday. It was strange.

131
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,600
Speaker 2: We'd only met maybe four to five times in six months.

132
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:33,680
Speaker 2: The thing is that this girl is trying to manufacture

133
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,520
Speaker 2: like intimacy with you in any way possible, and so

134
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,479
Speaker 2: she started like the matching tattoos because it like ties

135
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,760
Speaker 2: you to her in some physical way, because there is

136
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,520
Speaker 2: no actual tie there. Even my parents overheard and later

137
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:54,080
Speaker 2: said they found her behavior odd. Then late then last night,

138
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,480
Speaker 2: I went to a Devali party hosted by Bee.

139
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,080
Speaker 1: Amy was there too.

140
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,640
Speaker 2: I spoke to a few people and found that Amy

141
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,680
Speaker 2: had been telling others that were really close friends and

142
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,040
Speaker 2: that we hang out all the time.

143
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,320
Speaker 1: That's just not true.

144
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,960
Speaker 2: We barely talk now. People started asking what happened between us,

145
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,000
Speaker 2: and I just said we had differences. Then some people

146
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,320
Speaker 2: came up to me saying that after I spoke to them,

147
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,480
Speaker 2: Amy would go up to them asking what I was

148
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,520
Speaker 2: talking about. It was awkward and made things uncomfortable. A

149
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,720
Speaker 2: few girls also told me that Amy had said the

150
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,760
Speaker 2: same bizarre things to them about parents hating their kids

151
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,960
Speaker 2: and how women should stay home. One girl even said

152
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,520
Speaker 2: she said that to me too. It was like a pattern.

153
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,160
Speaker 2: The weirdest part. At one point Amy stared at me

154
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,679
Speaker 2: from across the room for a good ten second.

155
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy, I'm sorry.

156
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,080
Speaker 4: Oohoo.

157
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,920
Speaker 1: Ten seconds is a long stare.

158
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:49,600
Speaker 3: Hikes across the room and a party, a big party.

159
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,160
Speaker 2: Oh, she's just like before closing the wahroom door. It

160
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,640
Speaker 2: honestly creeped me out. By the end of the night,

161
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,600
Speaker 2: her eyes were watery and she looked down, probably from

162
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,040
Speaker 2: keeping her eyes open so long.

163
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, mine were getting dry. Huh. That was hard.

164
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,680
Speaker 2: So I texted her this morning to check if she

165
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,400
Speaker 2: was okay and mentioned that people said she was asking

166
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,600
Speaker 2: what I talked about with others. She just said, She

167
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,920
Speaker 2: just replied, saying she'll get back to me.

168
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:14,800
Speaker 4: Any final thoughts.

169
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,320
Speaker 3: I am worried. I'm very stressed and worried. Yeah, this

170
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,000
Speaker 3: is this is where you you you part ways with her, Yeah,

171
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,400
Speaker 3: and you say, you know, I wish you the best.

172
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,240
Speaker 3: I just don't feel this friendship is comfortable. I don't

173
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,480
Speaker 3: like this friendship the way you handle this. I wish

174
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,880
Speaker 3: you the best of luck. Bye.

175
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,959
Speaker 2: I have a friend who has a friend like this,

176
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,400
Speaker 2: not exactly like this, but just is very like.

177
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,200
Speaker 3: Cleany and like, oh we're best friends.

178
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, like we're best friends. You're like, you're like in

179
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,280
Speaker 2: this person and my friend is kind of their only

180
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,320
Speaker 2: best friend. Yeah, and my friend is so nice, you know,

181
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,600
Speaker 2: my friend is so nice that like she still like

182
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,199
Speaker 2: hangs out with her and but like complains to me

183
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,920
Speaker 2: about it. And I'm like, at a certain point, you

184
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,880
Speaker 2: do need to set that boundary if you are upset,

185
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,520
Speaker 2: because it honestly is worse for that person if you're

186
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:03,160
Speaker 2: complaining about them. M So just you just got to

187
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,760
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, you know what, this isn't working. Let's

188
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:10,400
Speaker 2: cut this, yeah, or set boundaries. This is a little

189
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 2: bit left. At this point, I feel really uneasy. I

190
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,640
Speaker 2: don't want to be cruel, but she's intense, clean and

191
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,480
Speaker 2: makes offensive personal comments. I don't want to be associated

192
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,080
Speaker 2: with her views, especially about working women, and I don't

193
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,439
Speaker 2: like that she's been exaggerating our friendship to others. I've

194
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,600
Speaker 2: started distancing myself and not inviting her to things, but

195
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,480
Speaker 2: part of me feels guilty. Am I the a hole

196
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,959
Speaker 2: for distancing myself from her and not wanting to include

197
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,200
Speaker 2: her in my group anymore? I genuinely don't want drama,

198
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,559
Speaker 2: but I also don't want to keep my putting myself

199
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,000
Speaker 2: and others in uncomfortable situations, and that is the end

200
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,600
Speaker 2: of that story.

201
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,560
Speaker 1: My best friend became a mean girl, so why cut

202
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:48,080
Speaker 1: her off?

203
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,640
Speaker 4: That's not fetch at all.

204
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,320
Speaker 1: Hi thirty three female ended my nearly lifelong friendship last

205
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:57,000
Speaker 1: month with my best friend, brook thirty four female. I've

206
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,640
Speaker 1: known Brooks since the very first day of kindergarten, both

207
00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:04,320
Speaker 1: of us, this little blonde haired pigtail having selves bonded instantly.

208
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,560
Speaker 1: We remained good friends all through grade school, especially in

209
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,160
Speaker 1: sixth grade, but the young adult years were where we

210
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,160
Speaker 1: really became close. By the way, this comes from accomplished

211
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,960
Speaker 1: look eight thirty and if you want to submit your

212
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,240
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay, story time,

213
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,120
Speaker 1: separate it and I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and we're here

214
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,600
Speaker 1: to give good advice. Goofly, But we don't have all

215
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,200
Speaker 1: the answers. We just know what we would do in

216
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,120
Speaker 1: the situation. So let us know what you would do

217
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,280
Speaker 1: in the comments. So oh p says you see, neither

218
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,600
Speaker 1: of us was what you would call a good kid.

219
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,959
Speaker 1: I came from a rough home life and she came

220
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:40,520
Speaker 1: from an extremely sheltered one, so naturally we rebelled. I

221
00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,120
Speaker 1: smoked my first sick with her that we stole from

222
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:47,040
Speaker 1: her mom. We skipped school, got into fights, you name it.

223
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,400
Speaker 1: Our rebel butts probably did it.

224
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:50,120
Speaker 4: Uh.

225
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,960
Speaker 1: One time I even ran away from home remember that

226
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,120
Speaker 1: baud home life, And I bet you could guess whose

227
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,840
Speaker 1: house I walked a mile and a half to in

228
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,880
Speaker 1: a very big city. At one I am yup Brooks.

229
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,959
Speaker 1: Her mom was a saint and many times let me

230
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,440
Speaker 1: stay over, feed me, and basically it treated me like

231
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,160
Speaker 1: one of her own. The year I turned thirteen, I

232
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,120
Speaker 1: moved one stayed away to live with my dad while

233
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,720
Speaker 1: my mom tried to get her life together. Over time,

234
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,240
Speaker 1: our daily conversations became less frequent, and eventually we fell

235
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,120
Speaker 1: out of touch. Fast forward to eighteen year old me.

236
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,120
Speaker 1: I moved back home with my mom, reconnected with Brooke,

237
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,959
Speaker 1: and found out a lot had changed for her. Unfortunately,

238
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 1: her mom had passed away from camp just a year earlier.

239
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,960
Speaker 1: I still feel guilty for not knowing or being there

240
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,640
Speaker 1: for her. She also told me that she was expecting

241
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: a child. She was the first of my friends to

242
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,720
Speaker 1: enter the world of motherhood, so I'm sure it was scary,

243
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,760
Speaker 1: especially right after losing your mom. I went to her

244
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,520
Speaker 1: baby shower and we kept in touch, but not close

245
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,360
Speaker 1: contact during our most distant years. She gained a new

246
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 1: best friend that will call Betty. Brooke and Betty became

247
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,440
Speaker 1: close very quickly, as Betty was Brooke's support during the

248
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,319
Speaker 1: loss of her mother and the first two years of

249
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,400
Speaker 1: navigating motherhood. We all three started hanging out when I

250
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,679
Speaker 1: was twenty The three amigos always together no matter what

251
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:10,079
Speaker 1: we did. It all parties, bar hopping, the mall, the zoo,

252
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,920
Speaker 1: raising a little human. About six months into this newfound trio,

253
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,600
Speaker 1: Betty became pregnant, becoming the second mom of the group. Unfortunately,

254
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,600
Speaker 1: Betty was in a very toxic relationship with the father

255
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,280
Speaker 1: of her child, causing major problems between bok Brook and Betty.

256
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,120
Speaker 1: The friendship between them became sour and they were no

257
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,559
Speaker 1: longer friends. I, apparently guilty by association, was ghosted by

258
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,319
Speaker 1: Betty completely like we were never friends. Brooke and I, however,

259
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,440
Speaker 1: became extremely close over the next year. She was my person.

260
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 1: I could talk to her about anything and everything, no judgment,

261
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,280
Speaker 1: no pressure. At twenty two, Brooke, her son who was

262
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,319
Speaker 1: four at the time, myself and my boyfriend of five years,

263
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,199
Speaker 1: who is now my husband moved in together. Wow, a

264
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,920
Speaker 1: full house. Learning to live full time with a little

265
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,640
Speaker 1: one was definitely an adjustment, but I love that kid

266
00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,800
Speaker 1: to the bone. Everything was fine for the six months

267
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,800
Speaker 1: we split the bills. We all took turns cooking and cleaning.

268
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,640
Speaker 1: It helped her with her son as much as I could.

269
00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,199
Speaker 1: When she had to work, she worked as a bartender

270
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,439
Speaker 1: and that's how she met her then boyfriend Roger. Now

271
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,280
Speaker 1: Roger was an okay guy, quite a bit older than us,

272
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,240
Speaker 1: not judging, just relevant as he was quite more mature

273
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,760
Speaker 1: than us in a lot of ways. At no point

274
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,760
Speaker 1: did we talk about Roger moving in, but yet there

275
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,640
Speaker 1: he was. At first it was like two times a week,

276
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,400
Speaker 1: and I obviously wasn't going to say anything. It quickly

277
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,080
Speaker 1: became an almost everyday thing, and us, being in our

278
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,319
Speaker 1: early twenties with not the best job positions, were beginning

279
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,840
Speaker 1: to struggle with the extra person in the house. When

280
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,560
Speaker 1: we moved in, the bills were two thirds my partners

281
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:46,120
Speaker 1: and my responsibility and one third hers. She occupied two

282
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,520
Speaker 1: out of three of the bedrooms as her son obviously

283
00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,080
Speaker 1: needed a room, but she was a single mom doing

284
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,839
Speaker 1: her best, so that was the way that we split

285
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,560
Speaker 1: the bills. When Roger had been living with us for

286
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,080
Speaker 1: over a month, my partner urged me to talk to

287
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,319
Speaker 1: her about splitting the bills fifty to fifty. I understand

288
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,640
Speaker 1: where he was coming from, but I have zero backbone.

289
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,360
Speaker 1: When I actually tried talking to her about it, I choked.

290
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 1: I instead asked if he could help with small things

291
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,559
Speaker 1: like toilet paper and groceries occasionally. She agreed to talk

292
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,200
Speaker 1: to him about it, and I was proud that I

293
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:19,480
Speaker 1: at least said something useful. This is where things got tricky.

294
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,160
Speaker 1: I noticed Brooke and Rogers started acting different towards me

295
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,480
Speaker 1: and my partner. We didn't do as many things together.

296
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 1: They were eating out a lot and not helping with

297
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,800
Speaker 1: groceries or even the toilet paper. This was not how

298
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,680
Speaker 1: all the previous months went, and Brooke definitely helped any

299
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,200
Speaker 1: other time as she was on government assistance. Now up

300
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,280
Speaker 1: to this point, I can see both sides to this.

301
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,360
Speaker 1: It's a new relationship and finances are hard to talk about.

302
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,560
Speaker 1: He didn't sign the lease with us, so he had

303
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,840
Speaker 1: no obligation to pay anything. Though it was quite annoying

304
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:52,200
Speaker 1: at the time, I understood Brooke. However, suddenly stopped with

305
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,520
Speaker 1: all the help. She was still paying her portion of

306
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,480
Speaker 1: the rent, but utilities started stacking as my partner and

307
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,880
Speaker 1: I could only pay our original portions. She no longer

308
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,880
Speaker 1: cooked while we were home or offered a plate of

309
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,680
Speaker 1: food knowing that we didn't have any, And suddenly, when

310
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,840
Speaker 1: it was her turn to buy the toilet paper we

311
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:12,680
Speaker 1: were out, I kindly mentioned something to her and she

312
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,560
Speaker 1: shrugged it off and replied, oh, yeah, I forgot. I'll

313
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:19,720
Speaker 1: get some at some point. No, biggie, y'all forget stuff

314
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,720
Speaker 1: for sure. But like, also, I'm thinking, doesn't she.

315
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,280
Speaker 4: Want toilet paper right using?

316
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,680
Speaker 1: She just like just like she's shaking. She's just shaking

317
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,240
Speaker 1: booty and just letting it, letting it and hoping she

318
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,960
Speaker 1: doesn't have to pooh. Yeah, right, gosh, that sounds terrible.

319
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 1: But later that day I noticed something. Roger headed to

320
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,560
Speaker 1: the bathroom and I saw that he had a roll

321
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 1: of toilet paper with.

322
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,360
Speaker 4: Him in there, hoarding the toilet paper in the room.

323
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 1: I believe we've got a vid situation.

324
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 4: We have figured it out. I believe that little toilet

325
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,160
Speaker 4: paper thieves.

326
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:56,680
Speaker 1: Hm. Odd, I thought to myself, she just told me

327
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,800
Speaker 1: that she forgot some time goes by and I forget

328
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:05,720
Speaker 1: the paper situation completely until nature cold. I remembered Roger

329
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 1: having the role with him and went into the bathroom

330
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:13,280
Speaker 1: only to find no toilet paper. Weird, but I'm not

331
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 1: gonna say anything. I found some napkins and moved on

332
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 1: with my day. I noticed this became a pattern with

333
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,800
Speaker 1: both of them over time, and I was really confused

334
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 1: as to why they were smuggling toilet paper like it

335
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 1: was contraband. Things stayed awkward. A few weeks later, she

336
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 1: let me know that she was moving out with Roger

337
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,080
Speaker 1: and her son, no notice, just leaving me and my

338
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,960
Speaker 1: partner in a three bedroom home by ourselves. We all

339
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 1: kind of did our own thing, as I was determined,

340
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,240
Speaker 1: oh wait, the week she was moving was fine. We

341
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,200
Speaker 1: all kind of did her own things. I was determined

342
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 1: not to let this affect her friendship. You're so strong, OPI.

343
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 1: I started noticing random things going missing in the house.

344
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: I had a set of blue glass cups that my

345
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 1: grandmother had given me. All of a sudden, I only

346
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,320
Speaker 1: had one small stuff like that. I also let this

347
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 1: go as I had no proof that she took these

348
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,440
Speaker 1: and and didn't want to ruin the friendship.

349
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,280
Speaker 4: Let that go.

350
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 1: Those are from your grandma. Grandma. Get your grandma cups back,

351
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 1: your grandma cups. You don't just need one, you.

352
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,679
Speaker 4: Need all the Grandma cups.

353
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 1: You need the set, you need all the all the

354
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,520
Speaker 1: cups that your grandma gave you. You need them.

355
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,720
Speaker 4: You didn't bring that up for the friendship, so you're

356
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,360
Speaker 4: just letting her steal from you. Now.

357
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you said for the friendship, you have no backbone,

358
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:25,639
Speaker 1: you were right. Sorry girl, Sorry, but it's true. Glad

359
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 1: you're self aware, at the very least self aware.

360
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:28,359
Speaker 4: Queen.

361
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,479
Speaker 1: We made it through the move. Friendship is still intact.

362
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 1: Though I did find my glass cup at her new

363
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,359
Speaker 1: house one day. This should have been a red flag,

364
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 1: and it should have been when you steal the cup,

365
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 1: all the cups back. You bring a big old bag

366
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,159
Speaker 1: because big purses are in now, and then you well,

367
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 1: I guess this was a while ago, but you.

368
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,440
Speaker 4: That they're in now.

369
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 1: Go back, go back your time when little persons were.

370
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 4: A big toe bag. Ye walk out with it in

371
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 4: your arm.

372
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, honestly it's like, oh yeah, oh this was mine,

373
00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 1: grab this for my grandma. Bye, no problem through everything.

374
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 1: Rough five yeah, let me just like adult chuck. Well,

375
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 1: share your house out real quick. You got you got

376
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,120
Speaker 1: toilet paper here, I've b been low beat.

377
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, by the way, I got pooh, and so honest,

378
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 5: I've got to get poo. I've been waiting for this day.

379
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,959
Speaker 1: Clog up her pipes. The next two years we remained

380
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,280
Speaker 1: best friends, but at a distance. Roger and Brooke began

381
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,359
Speaker 1: going to the bar almost five days a week, and

382
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,360
Speaker 1: I just couldn't keep up, so we spent less time

383
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,120
Speaker 1: together in person, but remained each other's support in hard times.

384
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,399
Speaker 1: When things between her and Roger ended, my partner and

385
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,879
Speaker 1: I helped her pick up all the pieces. She had

386
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 1: to move into her dad's house with her son and

387
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 1: start all over again. She worked her butt off and

388
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 1: saved up to get her own place. I was proud

389
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,879
Speaker 1: of my best friend, but she had an issue. She

390
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,640
Speaker 1: was terrified of living alone with her son. At this point,

391
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,719
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five and expecting my second child. Considering how

392
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 1: the first time went, I was not willing to live

393
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,040
Speaker 1: together again. I suggested that she find a place in

394
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 1: my neighborhood so that we could be close if anything happened,

395
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 1: but she wanted to stay by her work as she

396
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 1: didn't have a driver's license. Brooke found every best friend's

397
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 1: dream houses for rent right next door to each other. Yep,

398
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 1: we became neighbors. Honestly, it was perfect. I highly suggested

399
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 1: at least once in your life, if possible. Best almost

400
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,359
Speaker 1: year of my young adulthood.

401
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 4: I can confirm being neighbors with your best friends is great.

402
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:33,879
Speaker 1: Honestly, yeah, my neighbor is probably my best friend. I

403
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm his.

404
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 4: Best We had but three houses on a block in college,

405
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 4: and that was more.

406
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 1: Like my childhood, like growing up, and then they were

407
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,199
Speaker 1: just my best friends. And now one of them has

408
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 1: remained that way again. I don't know if it's reciprocated,

409
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 1: but I'm sure that's fine. You do what she gotta do.

410
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 1: But anyway, yeah, it's fun. During that almost year, Brooke

411
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: met Tim. At first, I was guarded about Tim. He

412
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,359
Speaker 1: seemed nice, but I just didn't want to say my

413
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 1: friend hurt again. Over time, I learned Tim was an

414
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 1: amazing guy. He was funny, well liked by many, and

415
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 1: an all around good human. Tim had a daughter a

416
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,719
Speaker 1: year younger than Brook's son, so unfortunately, when things got

417
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,879
Speaker 1: serious between them, the tiny two bedroom cottage home became

418
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: too small. Best friend dreamover. But life continues, and so

419
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 1: did our friendship. Now to current times and the whole

420
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 1: reason behind all that backstory. Winter twenty twenty four, Brooke

421
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 1: and Tim had fallen on a little bit of hard

422
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 1: times financially. Tim's hours at work had been cut and

423
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 1: Bill's ratting up. I offered my friend a job working

424
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 1: with me as my sue chef to help during hard times.

425
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 1: It was a win win. Now, I've been at this

426
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 1: job for fourteen years and in charge of hiring my

427
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,160
Speaker 1: staff for the past six I had a strict rule

428
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 1: about hiring friends and family. That was a big no

429
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 1: for me. So before I offered her the job, I

430
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 1: had a serious talk with her about how, no matter

431
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 1: what happens, this is just a job. If she doesn't

432
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 1: like it or it doesn't work out, no hard feelings.

433
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 1: I refuse to lose a best friend over this. Yeah,

434
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,119
Speaker 1: you refused to lose a best friend over all a

435
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 1: lot of things. You know. I respect is like the

436
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: most important thing, and I can respect that. I can

437
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 1: respect that, And guys, I'm not gonna lie. It was

438
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 1: a good time getting paid to talk to your best

439
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 1: friend all day. Well, you cooked delicious food top to

440
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 1: your vibes. My job is seasonal, so we have an

441
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: on and off season. During the busy season, just the

442
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 1: two of us couldn't handle it alone. Sometime in the

443
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 1: past forty or so years, Betty came back into our

444
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: lives and I figured, since I broke the rule once

445
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: and it was awesome, why couldn't I do it again.

446
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 1: So again the Three Migos rise, now known as the

447
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 1: Three Witches. And boy was that a big mistake or

448
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: blessing in disguise.

449
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 4: Maybe.

450
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: For a while things were great. Everyone was committed, work

451
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 1: was fun, but we were still getting the job done

452
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: and well, the busy season came and went. During the

453
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 1: off season, it's not uncommon to have three to six

454
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: weeks off at a time. Well, it was one of

455
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:08,440
Speaker 1: those times, except two whole months of no work. During

456
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: the time off, I hear nothing from Betty. Me and

457
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 1: Brook still spend every day together as usual, but nothing

458
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 1: from Betty. The time comes to head back to work

459
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 1: and it ends up being a small event for like

460
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 1: one hundred people, So I have Brooke come in with me,

461
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 1: as I haven't heard a peep from Betty. In more

462
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 1: than two months now, my birthday passes and Betty mustered

463
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 1: up a happy birthday text, shocking I reply, thank you,

464
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 1: and that's it. Eventually, I can't stay in the silence anymore,

465
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 1: so I text her long story short. She thought that

466
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: I fired her because she heard me and Brooke worked

467
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,879
Speaker 1: an event without her. We don't want to, like double

468
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: check if we still have a job or not.

469
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 4: Two months in and we're like, you worked without me, girl,

470
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 4: you weren't answering.

471
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. I also, I feel like if it's your job, like,

472
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: don't you need those like I feel like I would

473
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 1: double check. Hey, can I still get paid? Is that?

474
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 3: So?

475
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 1: What are we doing here? Yeah? Yeah, what's going on?

476
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 1: I felt so bad that she felt that way and

477
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 1: assured her that that was not the case. We had

478
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 1: a nice talk and she came back to work. Spring

479
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, busy season is here again and the

480
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: Three Witches are still rocking. But things slowly started to change.

481
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: Brooke and Betty lived right by each other, so they

482
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,680
Speaker 1: began carpooling to work. I send the usual schedule out

483
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 1: for the week and get a message from Brooke she

484
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: no longer will be coming in and is looking for

485
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 1: a different job with more hours now. My exact response was,

486
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: I completely understand, thank you for letting me know I

487
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: love you. That was that I'm not gonna lie. I

488
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 1: was really hurt that she quit last second with like that,

489
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 1: without a warning, but I saw her coming. We both

490
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: said it didn't affect our friendship, but it now felt

491
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,880
Speaker 1: like talking about work was off limits. A huge part

492
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 1: of my life is now off limits the main person

493
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: that I tell everything to, so it did affect us

494
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 1: a little bit. Betty stayed working for me with less

495
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 1: and less effort being put in every day. She was

496
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: constantly over an hour hour late. She wouldn't show up

497
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 1: and would turn her phone off. Then she played dumb

498
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 1: like it was just an accident where her boyfriend shot

499
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 1: her alarm off. Work was starting to become unproductive and unbearable.

500
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 1: I was doing twice the work but definitely not getting

501
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: twice the pay. Things continued this way for a while.

502
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 1: When I finally decided that I was going to have

503
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 1: to be a big girl and address this issue. We

504
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 1: had a rare two weeks off in the beginning of

505
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 1: July and my partner, same man from the beginning of

506
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 1: the story, and I wanted to take our two boys

507
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 1: on a family vacation. We've never had a warm vacation

508
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: destination before, so we decided on Florida. Brooke has family

509
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 1: in Florida's, so she's been many times. I was excited

510
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 1: to ask her all about the things to do and see.

511
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: She gave me some good advice and tips to have

512
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,959
Speaker 1: a fun time. I also talked to her about how

513
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: to talk to Betty. I didn't want to come off

514
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 1: cold or rude when trying to bring up the issue,

515
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: so Brook helps me plan out topics to touch on

516
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: and how to present them. I decided that I would

517
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: wait until after my vacation, as I just wanted to

518
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: enjoy this moment with my family stress free. Apparently that

519
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 1: was another big mistake. I honestly don't know what happened

520
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: between the three of us while I was on vacation,

521
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: but something big changed whenever we all got together. I

522
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: felt like I was in the Mean Girls movie and

523
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: was definitely a victim of Regina George. I was on

524
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 1: the outs. Suddenly they did every single thing together and

525
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: they didn't seem to like my company anymore. I told

526
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: myself that it was in my head. I was sure

527
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: I needed to put more effort in, so I tried.

528
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: I texted first and last for the last month. It

529
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 1: was always met with short responses and no replies. Anyway,

530
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 1: I decided to just give space and time to see

531
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 1: if maybe I was just getting on their nerves or something.

532
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: I mean, it happens to the best of friends. One

533
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: week went by, then it was time to send Betty

534
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 1: the schedule for the week, but no response. I waited

535
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 1: day reach out again asking if she got my messages

536
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: from the day before. Hours go by and I get

537
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: a text back. It turns out she hasn't gone back

538
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 1: to me because she was in the hospital. She fell

539
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: down her stairs and broke her foot. I expressed my

540
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: concern for her and that obviously she wouldn't be working

541
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,680
Speaker 1: for a few weeks as she can heal. She said

542
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,040
Speaker 1: thank you, and a few days go by. I ask

543
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,679
Speaker 1: how she is and she tells me that she has

544
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 1: to wear a boot for the next six to eight

545
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 1: weeks and it's broken in two places. Ouch. I again

546
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: express my concern and hopes that she feels well soon.

547
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: I resume my giving space era and soon days turned

548
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 1: into a week, then two. At this point. I'm seeing

549
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: Betty and Brooke posting together on Facebook, doing all the

550
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 1: things that we normally did together, So I'm starting to

551
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 1: realize maybe I'm not as close with Brooke as I thought.

552
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: Betty has done this to me before, so I'm used

553
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: to it from her, But me and Brooke have a

554
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: completely different friendship on another level of sisterhood. Thirteen days

555
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: after Betty told me that she broke her foot, her

556
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: boyfriend posted a video of a tattoo that he did

557
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: on her cat. I'm checking it out. It's dope, but

558
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: I noticed something. No boot on either foot, so it's

559
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: very clear that I'm being lied to. At this moment

560
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 1: in time, I cave and break my giving space era

561
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 1: to comment on the post. Betty, I love the tattoo,

562
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 1: but I thought you broke your foot, and now I'm

563
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: waiting to see what she's gonna say. She replied that

564
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: it was the other foot. I didn't say what foot

565
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: it was, and quote, I've had that off. Okay, so

566
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 1: I'm no doctor, but thirteen days is not long enough

567
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: to heal a broken bone, and she made it seem

568
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: like she had it off for a few days. I'm

569
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,879
Speaker 1: so mad and confused. And slightly still hopeful that she

570
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: really didn't lie to me like that. I texted her privately.

571
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 1: I asked if she was no longer working for me

572
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,719
Speaker 1: since her leg had healed and she had not let

573
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: me know. Betty immediately blew up at me, saying it

574
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 1: had only been three days since she cut her cast

575
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 1: off herself. Okay, okay, Opie said, so now you have

576
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: a cast not a boot. Yeah, that you have to

577
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: cut off, Opie. Yeah, she's just like duct tap can

578
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 1: go a long way. Guys, you wonders on on casts.

579
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: So Opie says two points one. So thirteen minus three

580
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 1: equals ten. A broken foot healed in ten days.

581
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's a miraculous new thing.

582
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: Dude, the Betty Special. And previously she said she was

583
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: wearing a boot, not a cast, the lies becoming more obvious.

584
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: I then said that I thought she had more respect

585
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 1: for me than to just quit without saying a word

586
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: and didn't even mention the fake broken foot. She lost it,

587
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: saying how could she respect me when I fired her?

588
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: Kind of not really her words, not mine, last off season,

589
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: I'm so tired and broken. At this point, I gave up.

590
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 1: I told her I wish her the absolute best, and

591
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 1: then I could no longer deal with the lies. And

592
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 1: that was that Betty gone. Clearly wasn't the friend that

593
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: I thought she was. But then there is still brook

594
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: the star of the story. It's been a month and

595
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: a huge friendship ending fight and still no word from

596
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: my bff, not one word. What the heck? So I

597
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 1: once again cave and text her a novel about not

598
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: knowing what's going on between us, but wanting to fix it.

599
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: I poured my heart out. She replied that nothing was wrong,

600
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: she was just busy with her new job and was

601
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: sorry for not reaching out. Tiny bit of relief washed

602
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 1: over me. Okay, maybe I'm in my own head about this.

603
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: I make plans to meet up in person and we

604
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: go about the day. Meanwhile, she and Betty are off

605
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 1: at some market, Betty making sure to tag Brooks, so

606
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: I see that she isn't too busy to reach out

607
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: to Betty. That was a mean girl move if I

608
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: ever saw one. I agree, ohpe mean girl alerts.

609
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 4: I think we should have realized a long time ago,

610
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 4: mean girl the means were, I think. So I'm gonna

611
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 4: be so real, bet you gotta stop going back to them.

612
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 4: You're driving me a little nut. You're so we're mid twenties, now,

613
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 4: come on, this is the way later now we're thirty four.

614
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: Four now time ha ha. Yeah. But whatever, I meet

615
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: with Brooklyn next day. It's a little awkward, but I

616
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: tell myself it's in my head and just stop.

617
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 4: Okay, it's not in your head. So not in your head, girl,

618
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 4: Stop being friends with these people.

619
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: Everyone who's watching. Trust yourself. Trust your gut, dude. I

620
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: feel like that's like the main reason that people get

621
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: in these situations. So yeah, but like's not that bad, right,

622
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: Like I'm I could have done better, stole from you.

623
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: But then I bring up Betty. I asked what she

624
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 1: said about our fight? Nothing broke, replies except I've known

625
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: her for over twenty years and I know where she's lying.

626
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: I asked if she really broke her foot, and I

627
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: get the loudest bit of silence I've ever heard in

628
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: my life. He says so much without words. She admitted

629
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: it was a lie because if it were true, she

630
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 1: would have defended Betty, and she chose Betty. Her silence

631
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: said that we are no longer ride or pies. Now

632
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: she rides with Betty, I was crushed, But yeah, dude,

633
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: it is not cool.

634
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 4: At some point, Op, you gotta stop running back to

635
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 4: these people that have just been absolutely awful. I'm not

636
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 4: blaming you for the awfulness that they've caused, but I'm

637
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 4: saying that you see him aware of it now. Yeah,

638
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 4: so we need to end it and stop.

639
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: Going back to them. I hope this is your breaking point.

640
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 1: I hope so, because it's like you're aware of it.

641
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 1: But you've been aware of.

642
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 4: It, right, You've just been like, stop giving them the past.

643
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 1: You're so nice, but you also just like don't deserve

644
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: it too. And it's hard because it's like you have

645
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 1: been do so much together and you have like your

646
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: whole life together pretty much, Like that's totally understandable that

647
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: after all that time and all of that history, like

648
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: you're not gonna want to just end the friendship. But

649
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: at the same time, it's kind of like, well it

650
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: seems like she has so you might need to just

651
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: either be alone for a little bit, be chill with that,

652
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 1: or find some new friends or bone yeahh.

653
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 4: Come on, you know another one totally someone totally totally.

654
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: But there is a little bit more to the story.

655
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: The final straw was what she told me. Next she

656
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: was starting a relationship with a coworker behind him's back,

657
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: that man who has done everything for her, and she

658
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: can do that to him. She doesn't care about anyone

659
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: but herself. And that was the moment that I knew

660
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 1: we weren't friends anymore. I wish it ended there.

661
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 4: What what?

662
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: As of the past week, she was making a lot

663
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: of indirect comments and posts on Facebook about how I

664
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 1: smell and have bad hygiene. My thing is, if you

665
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 1: really honestly felt that way, why wouldn't you tell me? Oh,

666
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: because you were never my friend and you can't come

667
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 1: for my character, so you make up lies and her

668
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: and Betty laugh at me in the comment section. It

669
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 1: was a huge life lesson for me. And that's the

670
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: end of that story.

671
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam.

672
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories.

673
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 4: But here's three minutes of AADs for our sponsors.

674
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 1: I secretly dislike one of my daughters, and I'm trying

675
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: not to show it. Oh No, My daughters were born

676
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 1: pretty close together, their birthdays only ten months apart. Wow,

677
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: Because I got pregnant almost immediately after having the other.

678
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 1: Their entire lives, they have always been best friends. My

679
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: eldest is Sam seventeen and the year below is Izzy sixteen.

680
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: These girls have been absolutely inseparable since Izzy was born.

681
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: They'd write each other's stories, play with their dolls, do

682
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 1: each other's hair, hold hands everywhere they went together, and

683
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: they look incredibly alike too. People have missed them for

684
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: twins when they were younger. By the way, this comes

685
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: from Thoroughway four replies eight, and if you want to

686
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the ours slash Okay,

687
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 1: storytime supreddit And I'm Angie.

688
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice.

689
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: Goofy, but we don't have all the answers. We're just

690
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 1: gonna guess what we would do in the situation. So

691
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: let us know what you would do in the comments.

692
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: So Opie says, We've always had a pretty tight knit family, me,

693
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 1: my husband, and the girls we have. Finally, we have

694
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: family film and game nights together and regularly take trips together.

695
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: These girls are my entire world. And I'm feeling absolutely

696
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: riddled with guilt over the last two years because I'm

697
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: really starting to dislike my youngest is he yikes. Obviously

698
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 1: they weren't going to stay the same forever. From the

699
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: age of about thirteen onwards, they both really started to

700
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: diverge with their personalities. I completely expected and thought I

701
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 1: was prepared for this. I can still remember when I

702
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: first started to feel like she was becoming her own person.

703
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,479
Speaker 1: And I know it's a confusing and emotional roller coaster

704
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: for teens, so I try to be as open and

705
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:04,800
Speaker 1: standing as possible regarding their choices. Both girls are currently

706
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,840
Speaker 1: doing their A levels in college in the UK. Sam

707
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: is studying biology, chemistry, mathematics, and some kind of animal

708
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: welfare subject. Her goal is to go into a veterinary

709
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: course at university, and she currently volunteers at our local vets,

710
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: helping out with the animals. She's always been a sweet,

711
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: girly girl and only got more feminine as she entered

712
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: her teenage years. I'm also rather girly, and Sam and

713
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 1: I regularly go get our nails and hair done together,

714
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: go shopping, and enjoy baking. At the end of each

715
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 1: school day, she comes home and makes us both a

716
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: cup of tea and we'll chat about how our days went. Boys.

717
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 1: She's interested in her classes and drama with her friends.

718
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm not gonna like you for very

719
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,399
Speaker 4: much the story right.

720
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,720
Speaker 1: She by no means is the popular girl at school,

721
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: but she has a group of about ten close friends

722
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: that she hangs out with a lot. Often the girls

723
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,800
Speaker 1: will sleep over at my house, do each other's makeup,

724
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: and even join us on our movie nights. Sam is

725
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: by no means shy, but she hates making people upset,

726
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: so she avoids confrontation like the plague. Izzy, on the

727
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 1: other hand, has begun to get very involved in political

728
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: issues in current events. She lives off of the news

729
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: channel and is always passionate about some cause or another.

730
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 1: She gets along rather well with her father in this aspect,

731
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: as they like to debate the government and upcoming policies.

732
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: She means well in her arguments, but she can be

733
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 1: a bit opinionated at times when someone disagrees with her.

734
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: Instead of calling peace and agreeing to disagree, she likes

735
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 1: to keep the discussion going until she understands why someone

736
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 1: thinks they what they do.

737
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 4: I think that's a fine thing to do.

738
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: I understand that she's curious about the world, and I

739
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 1: don't want to squash that, but it does get a

740
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 1: bit tedious hearing. But why to everything we talk about.

741
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 1: She's currently studying politics, psychology, business, and economics as her

742
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: A level subjects. She doesn't really have any friends from

743
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: school and spends a lot of time on websites like

744
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 1: Tumblr chatting to people who care about her causes. I

745
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 1: try to involve her in trips out shopping with Sam

746
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 1: and me, but she declines, saying she'd rather stay at home.

747
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: To try to be more inclusive, I suggested she pick

748
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 1: some activities and we would do them with her if

749
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 1: she doesn't like the girly activities, but Izzy again declines,

750
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,320
Speaker 1: saying she'd rather hang out with people who share her mindset.

751
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 1: I tried to organize something just for her and me

752
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: so we could have time alone, but she responded with

753
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: something along the lines of like you'd be able to

754
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 1: understand anything I'm involved with anyway. Her most recent thing

755
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: has been the Free the Front airbags campaign, along with

756
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 1: growing out her leg hair. She has been ranting at

757
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:39,240
Speaker 1: Sam for being a slave to gender stereotypes by liking dresses, boys,

758
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 1: and makeup. At our movie nights, Izzy will try to

759
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 1: psychoanalyze the characters and all the films, even the ones

760
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: she picked, and complains about the character tropes and forced romances.

761
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 1: It's completely ruined movie nights. So last week I didn't

762
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 1: even schedule one to avoid dealing with it. I know

763
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: Sam is upset by all of this, because she's cried

764
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: to me a few times. Each time I bring it

765
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: up to she says she doesn't care and that we

766
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,840
Speaker 1: should check our privilege. I've tried grounding her. She just

767
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 1: sat stubbornly on the floor all night. Suspending her allowance

768
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: didn't work. She said money doesn't control her. That's that's

769
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: so like on brand for what we know about her

770
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: so far. It sounds like you just have like.

771
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 4: A typical teenager. Right. He's like a little bit more

772
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 4: into politics than normal, So she has like views that

773
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 4: she can disagree with you on. Right.

774
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 1: That's kind of what I'm thinking too. It's like, obviously

775
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: all of this stuff is like her hobby, right.

776
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, you say she psychoanalyzes characters and movies. You said

777
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 4: she's going into psychology.

778
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I would totally do that. I love

779
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: doing that, like characters and movies. I think that's so fun.

780
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: But taking her phone away didn't work either. She said,

781
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: we let technology control our lives anyway. Nothing what though, Yeah,

782
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 1: this is for I think this is for making Sam upset, for.

783
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 4: Grounding her for a movie night, for making Sam upset.

784
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, they's like all these punishments I think are like

785
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 1: for making Sam upset. But we don't really know exactly

786
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,479
Speaker 1: why Sam is upset by all of this. I hate

787
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 1: it because I want to love my daughter's equally, but

788
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: I really don't like Gizzie right now. She's being self righteous,

789
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: policing everything her sister Sam wears, says, or does, and

790
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: calling her a slave. My husband seems to think it's

791
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: just some silly teenager rebellious phase and she'll calm down soon,

792
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 1: so he's not as upset as I am.

793
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,320
Speaker 4: What just sounds like to me.

794
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, he also enjoys political debates with her, so he

795
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 1: tries to take the heat away from discussions when we

796
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 1: or Sam are present. One time, is he openly called

797
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: Sam subordinate arm candy when she was going on a date.

798
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 1: Go My husband told her she wasn't allowed to talk

799
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 1: to her sister like that, and she was grounded. Is

800
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: He snapped, oh, now you're playing favorites too, f off

801
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,879
Speaker 1: then and stormed upstairs. He has been trying to talk

802
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 1: to her calmly about her as attitude and how he

803
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: loves her and understands her side of things, but she

804
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: can't just be rude to everyone. He recently got a

805
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: new project at work and has been working long shifts,

806
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: so he's not around as often. I just don't know

807
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 1: what to do. Is this a phase? How do you

808
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 1: even deal with this? If anything, her behavior is making

809
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: me like Sam even more for being such a good kid,

810
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's a never ending cycle. I've

811
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 1: tried to include Izzy in so many things, and she

812
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,359
Speaker 1: just debates every topic, telling me all my choices are wrong.

813
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 1: Sam will be off to university in September and then

814
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 1: it'll just be me an Izzy at home. How the

815
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: heck do I navigate this? And there are some comments,

816
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,400
Speaker 1: but I know we already talks about it a little bit.

817
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 1: But anything else to add I don't know.

818
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 4: Maybe somewhere deep down there's a way to find something

819
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,360
Speaker 4: that you guys both like to do, however obscure. That

820
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 4: may be like get into her really niche interests, or

821
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 4: like trying to find something cool, like if she likes

822
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 4: psychology she likes detective work, like could you guys do

823
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 4: like an escape room? Together, Like, could you guys go

824
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 4: on like a I don't know, like a spooky history

825
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 4: tourm yeah, yeah, something that she might like something that

826
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,320
Speaker 4: or I don't know, yeah, help her make signs for

827
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 4: a rally, I'm sure, yeah, something bonding.

828
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 1: I feel like what might be happening with Opie is, like,

829
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 1: you know, she's the parent, and she disagrees with a

830
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: lot of things that Izzy is saying. And I feel like,

831
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: you know, when your kids are younger and you're they're

832
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: like less of their own person, you have to teach

833
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 1: them the right thing, and you teach them like what

834
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: you believe in your experiences and your opinions and stuff.

835
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: So you might just have to kind of let that

836
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 1: idea of controlling it go a little bit. Yeah, just

837
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,800
Speaker 1: kind of let her just let it happen and like

838
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 1: maybe ask her about it, and you don't have to

839
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: like you can agree to disagree, but you don't have

840
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 1: to be so like vocal about that, you know what

841
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: I mean?

842
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 4: Right? Like, is there some way to kind of let

843
00:41:54,840 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 4: the teenager in her settle in like the smoothest way possible, right,

844
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 4: just like not pushing back except for when she's obviously

845
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 4: being very rude, like you should push back and still

846
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 4: discipline as your child.

847
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: But like, yeah, we do have some relevant comments. Little

848
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 1: Woolie says one of the most important debates slash relationship

849
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,800
Speaker 1: tools to teach Izzy is once you start name calling,

850
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: you've lost your argument. Debates and jokes are fun until

851
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: someone else gets hurt. Opie says that could be a

852
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: good tool. Usually, because she gets so passionate about these things,

853
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,760
Speaker 1: I end up trying to calm her down and justify

854
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: her because I think she might feel like it's me

855
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: and Sam versus her opinions. The next time she insults someone,

856
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: I think I'll definitely try just ending the discussion on

857
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 1: the spot and doing something different. BSCD ninety five says

858
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 1: it's great Izzy is passionate, but she needs to seriously

859
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: learn some respect. She should not talk to anyone in

860
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: your family the way that she does. She should not

861
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,240
Speaker 1: be telling her father to f off or be extremely

862
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 1: rude to her sister. Not to mention how dismissive she

863
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,240
Speaker 1: is of you. She acts like you will understand her interests,

864
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 1: insinuating that you're stupid you. I would take away all

865
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 1: her privileges, no phone, no internet, grounded et cetera, until

866
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 1: she can be more respectful. Also, please reassure Sam that

867
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 1: it is okay that she likes being a stereotypical girl.

868
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 1: The whole point of feminism is that the women can

869
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 1: be whatever she wants to be, not what not. That

870
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: she can be whatever she wants to be within the

871
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 1: exception of being traditionally feminine. Exactly, keep up your time

872
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 1: with her and ride out the storm with Izzy. Hopefully

873
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: this will pass when she matures a little. Opie says,

874
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,240
Speaker 1: that's what I try to do. But considering their polar

875
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: opposites right now, I don't know if they're taking me

876
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 1: seriously or if they think I'm just saying it to

877
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: make them feel better. It's like I'm turning back and

878
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: forth going if you want to give a bras azie,

879
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 1: go ahead, who needs them. It's great that you feel

880
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: confident enough to go out without them, And then wearing

881
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 1: bras doesn't make you anti feminist, Sam. A lot of

882
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 1: people find them super comfy and easier to wear. Plus

883
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 1: there's some super pretty ones out there, so they make

884
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: a lot of women feel schmeckshy in them.

885
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 4: No, no, is he.

886
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,879
Speaker 1: I'm not saying women can't be schmeckshy without bra. Sorry,

887
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 1: I want to tear my hair out. Yeah that is

888
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: super frustrating, but that's the thing that come to her

889
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 1: saying is like with feminism, both can be true.

890
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 4: It's no way to do it right.

891
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. It's like, no, it doesn't mean that that

892
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: you have to feel like good with a good bra.

893
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 4: But we're only gonna get mad when your dad comes

894
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 4: in and gives his opinion about the prost exactly exactly.

895
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 1: So now when suggested that is he needs to get

896
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: her temper and outbursts under control, Opie says, as I've

897
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 1: said in another comment Iszy has just joined a debate

898
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: team slash club, but one of her classmates just set

899
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 1: up at her college, so hopefully she'll be able to

900
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,879
Speaker 1: find a structured way with her peers to debate, learn

901
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: it isn't always about being right, and get some of

902
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: her frustration out before she returns home and takes it

903
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,280
Speaker 1: out on me or Sam. Others have been really helpful

904
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 1: in sending me list of film slash TV shows that

905
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 1: she would probably be interested in. But I know she's

906
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: always loved reading, so the books could be a good idea,

907
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: And we do have an update, but yeah, I have

908
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: hope that this can just write out eventually. I have

909
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,800
Speaker 1: so much hope. This is nineteen days later. Okay, So

910
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: I know it's been about three weeks since the last post.

911
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,359
Speaker 1: A lot has happened already, and there's probably a lot

912
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: more work to do, but I just want to thank

913
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: everyone for their advice and let you know that progress

914
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: has been made. Yeah, okay. It was clear from all

915
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: the comments that there were a few issues that I

916
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 1: had to deal with. One was to actually involve myself

917
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,959
Speaker 1: more in Izzy's life and interests. Two was to stop

918
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: letting her get away with hurting Sam so much and

919
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 1: teach her that she can't talk down to people like

920
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 1: she is. Three was to write it out as much

921
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: as I can and hope that she mellows out over time.

922
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 1: Like a lot of commenters said, they did as they aged.

923
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 1: The first thing I did was make a list of

924
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: all the films and TV shows recommended by people here

925
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 1: to look into to try and find some things I

926
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 1: could watch Ezzy to make her feel included. It was

927
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 1: a long list, and I think we got some really

928
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: good options that will appeal to the whole family. The

929
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 1: first thing I tried out was Steven Universe. Has just

930
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: about everyone on here suggested it for me, That's a

931
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: good one. Izzy actually walked in on me watching it

932
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: about five episodes in. I was hoping to just get

933
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: one taster episode to see if it was any good,

934
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 1: but so much for that. She paused in the doorway

935
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 1: and asked, you actually like Steven Universe. I said one

936
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: of my coworkers had recommended it as a cute show

937
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: to watch, and that I actually kind of loved it.

938
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 1: I wish I could have taken a picture of the

939
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 1: smile on her face. She immediately jumped onto the sofa

940
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,800
Speaker 1: and started quizzing me on how far along I was,

941
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 1: who my favorites were, what other shows she thought I

942
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,800
Speaker 1: would like. I started listing off other shows, many of

943
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: which were on my list to try out too. I

944
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: told her that we could try all of them, and

945
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 1: I already have a few ready. I also reinstated film

946
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 1: Night under a new condition to make sure we don't

947
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: run into any issues again. I purchased some dry whiteboards

948
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,320
Speaker 1: and pens and proposed the following idea. During all films

949
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 1: and TV shows, there is to be silence, as I

950
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,320
Speaker 1: would like to watch something without it being talked over. However,

951
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 1: we write down questions or topics that we want to

952
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 1: discuss on the boards throughout the film. At the end

953
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 1: we designate a discussion time to talk about it is.

954
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 1: He agreed to it and said that was probably fair.

955
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: That was one win. That seems like a great option.

956
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,800
Speaker 1: Seems great so far. I would love to do that.

957
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 1: I'm such a yapper and Riley definitely has shushed me

958
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 1: sometimes in TV shows because I'm like, that's another interesting thing.

959
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: And he said, wait, wait, wait, something's happening right now.

960
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 1: So I would love to, like, yeah, to have a discussion.

961
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 4: I can't fully be on either side of that one.

962
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, the film right, No, it's totally good. We have

963
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 1: had two film nights since then. The first one we

964
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: watched was Legally Blonde, and she was constantly scribbling on

965
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 1: the board. The discussion after went really well. Izzy did

966
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: most of the talking about how empowering al Woods is.

967
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 1: Oh okay, but I tried to engage so she didn't

968
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 1: feel like I was just glazing over her thoughts. Sam

969
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 1: had finished her exams and took up her volunteer work

970
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 1: full time, so it was just me and Izzy doing

971
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 1: this which I thought gave some nice quality time. I

972
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 1: tried to find activities for us to do together that

973
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 1: weren't hair or nails. I thought she might enjoy a hike,

974
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 1: as we live close to a national park, so I

975
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 1: suggested that one day. She turned me down, But that's fine.

976
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 1: I'm not expecting an immediate turnaround. I will just keep

977
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,520
Speaker 1: suggesting things every few days to let her know that

978
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: I want to do things with her. We've been watching

979
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 1: Orange as the New Black since it came out, along

980
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 1: with Stephen Universe and Sinse eight, so I feel like

981
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: we're making progress. Since Sam took up the extra work,

982
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 1: she's not really in the house much anymore, so she

983
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 1: and Izzy have clashed less naturally. I took down some

984
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: of the comments suggested by you all, like how Izzy

985
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 1: shaming Sam for what she wears is actually the opposite

986
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: of feminism, but Sam actually beat me to it. So far,

987
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,240
Speaker 1: only once has Izzy commented. When Sam wore a small

988
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 1: play suit out which has been getting warm. Izzy said, wow,

989
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: I didn't think it was possible to wear any less

990
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: clothing than you normally do. Who's this for then? But

991
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 1: before I could actually say anything, Sam went meat because

992
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: I looked dang good in it. Maybe you should try one,

993
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 1: and it's pretty empowering looking this good and skipped out

994
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,839
Speaker 1: the door. Yeah you go, Sam, that's exactly the right right.

995
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 4: I figured Sam would honestly figure that one out on

996
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 4: her own.

997
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. I was shocked for a second, as Sam

998
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 1: has never returned fire before Izzy did the same, pausing

999
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: before storming upstairs. She hasn't made another comment since then,

1000
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure if it's because they just don't

1001
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: see each other often, or if Izzy was genuinely shut

1002
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 1: down by that one comment. So I'm in limbo waiting

1003
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: to see how that plays out. While taking Sam out

1004
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: for university supplies one day, I asked her how she

1005
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: feels about Izzy's behavior. I don't want her to be

1006
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 1: negatively impacted. She said she gets a little upset when

1007
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:54,359
Speaker 1: Izzy makes the comments, but she knows Izzy thinks she's

1008
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: coming from a good place and doesn't take it to heart.

1009
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 1: She also said Izzy would probably chill out after a

1010
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 1: few years when she goes off to university. She'll be

1011
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 1: away from it anyway, So she's writing out the storm

1012
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 1: until September. Me and Sam's side the new debate group

1013
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 1: I mentioned in the comments that Izzy joined has now

1014
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 1: become a big thing for her, which I think has

1015
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 1: been mellowing her out a bit. She's been attending sessions regularly.

1016
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 1: I asked if they had audiences and if I could

1017
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 1: come along sometime. She said maybe in the future. It's

1018
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 1: new right now, so it's just class debating. She has

1019
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,799
Speaker 1: also become really close with another girl in the group,

1020
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 1: whom we'll call Anna. They take the same subjects but

1021
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: are in opposite classes, so they never met before this

1022
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,360
Speaker 1: debate group. Anna is either at our house or is

1023
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 1: yet hers every day for the last two weeks. I'm

1024
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 1: glad she's made a close friend to talk to. She's

1025
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:43,800
Speaker 1: barely been on her laptop since, so there's less Internet

1026
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: and tumbler fueling her behavior. Since Anna came along, Izzy

1027
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 1: has been significantly less argumentative and rude. She's skipping around

1028
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 1: the house in an almost dream like state, and it's

1029
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 1: making my heart melt to see her this happy. I

1030
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,240
Speaker 1: feel like they might be a little bit more than friends.

1031
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 1: Uh Oh, I suspect Anna might be slightly more than

1032
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 1: just a friend. Yeah, but I'm not going to push anything.

1033
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 4: Iz.

1034
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 1: He can talk to me whenever she wants As for

1035
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: her dad, his project at work is wrapping up, so

1036
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,399
Speaker 1: there are now fewer late nights. They're back to their

1037
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 1: political chit chat over breakfast and seem as close as ever.

1038
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 1: Things are going great, A great story. Yeah, I had

1039
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: a feeling that you would figure this out really quickly.

1040
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 1: Ope and yeah, totally you did everything right. You followed

1041
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: all the comments wonderfully. Right is he just needed you

1042
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 1: to reach.

1043
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,399
Speaker 4: Out in different ways and have a reality check.

1044
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 1: But there is a little bit more to the story. Overall,

1045
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 1: I think things are improving. I want to thank everyone

1046
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 1: who took the time to comment. I read through every

1047
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 1: single one. I will continue bringing up activities and shows

1048
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 1: that you suggested over time. I have a list saved

1049
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,919
Speaker 1: on my computer to keep asking her about. Eventually, maybe

1050
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 1: I he will let me take her on a hike

1051
00:51:57,719 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 1: or go see a play together. I just have to

1052
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 1: keep trying. I also kind of sure where appropriate if

1053
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,879
Speaker 1: she calls me or Sam out for what we wear

1054
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,879
Speaker 1: or our hobbies, because it's not okay to be rude.

1055
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 1: It's a weird line to walk right now, curbing rude

1056
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 1: comments while also making more of an effort to take

1057
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 1: part in her interests. But I think I'm giving it

1058
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 1: a good go, and that's the end of the story.

1059
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:21,719
Speaker 1: I think you're giving it a good go too.

1060
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 4: I think you're doing wonderfully open.

1061
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, like this seems like just a teenager thing that

1062
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 1: you have to go through as a parent. I honestly

1063
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 1: don't blame you for like thinking that you don't like her. Yeah,

1064
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 1: not at all. Like that just kind of seems like, yeah,

1065
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: maybe you are growing into different people. But at the

1066
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:43,359
Speaker 1: same time, a little bit of effort is obviously going

1067
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 1: a lot way.

1068
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:48,959
Speaker 4: So I like that you made compromises. She's made compromises. Yeah,

1069
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,240
Speaker 4: she's getting herself in check in some ways.

1070
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:54,840
Speaker 1: Right, it's good. You're you're you notice how you're feeling,

1071
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:58,879
Speaker 1: and you're actively trying to like fix it. So that's great.

1072
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 1: That's great, Great job, Opie. And that's the end of

1073
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 1: this story. We're going on to the next one. Hey,

1074
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: John og host here, We're gonna get back to this episode.

1075
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break of ads from a

1076
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 1: sponsor's keeping the show live.

1077
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:16,479
Speaker 4: My mother blamed me for my family's laziness. I don't

1078
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:17,360
Speaker 4: regret leaving.

1079
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:18,720
Speaker 1: I don't think you should.

1080
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 4: I twenty three female have a big family, I grew

1081
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 4: up living with two younger brothers, one younger sister, grandparents

1082
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:31,320
Speaker 4: and my mom fifty four female and dad. I'm significantly

1083
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 4: the oldest kid in my family, eight years older than John,

1084
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 4: my brother, the second oldest in the house. Oh, by

1085
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from my throwaway for U two D.

1086
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:46,560
Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1087
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime Supreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Angie,

1088
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 4: and we're here to give good advice goofully, but we

1089
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,239
Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

1090
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 4: would do, So let us know what you would do

1091
00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:01,720
Speaker 4: in the comments, and Opie says, my parents never assign

1092
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 4: chores to any of us growing up, but I helped

1093
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 4: out around the house a lot. I've just always been

1094
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 4: very cleanly and organized, and I never minded it. I

1095
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 4: was always cleaning, vacuuming, doing dishes, helping cook, doing the

1096
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 4: family's laundry, etc. Nobody forced this role on me, but

1097
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 4: nobody really appreciated it or thanked me either. Again, I

1098
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,479
Speaker 4: didn't really mind. I was just being a dutiful daughter

1099
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 4: and responsible person. I lived at home through college. I

1100
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:34,760
Speaker 4: grew up in my college town, so I just commuted

1101
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 4: a few months ago. However, I had decided that I

1102
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 4: had saved enough money and got an apartment with some

1103
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 4: of my college friends. Apparently, since I have moved out,

1104
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 4: our family situation has become chaotic and my mom feels overwhelmed.

1105
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 4: No one helps her at all with any chores. She

1106
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,799
Speaker 4: basically told me that she had no idea how much

1107
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 4: I was helping out around the house until I moved out,

1108
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,840
Speaker 4: because I was always doing stuff without being asked. She

1109
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 4: didn't really know who was keeping everything clean and just

1110
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 4: assumed it was a joint effort from the whole family.

1111
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:14,280
Speaker 4: Now that nobody's around to silently look after everyone, everything

1112
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 4: is a mess. Everyone in my home has developed a

1113
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 4: string of messy, bad habits because somebody else was taking

1114
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 4: care of them all the time. She said, it's my

1115
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 4: responsibility that no one in the family has learned to

1116
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 4: properly take care of themselves growing up and wants me

1117
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 4: to move back home. I'm sorry, aren't you the parents?

1118
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:36,399
Speaker 4: Aren't you the mom? Maybe we could give our other

1119
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 4: kids chores for once, side chores.

1120
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 1: Uh, I don't know if I.

1121
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:44,160
Speaker 4: Should do it. I guess growing up, especially with my

1122
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 4: younger siblings. I was just always the default babysitter. I

1123
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 4: was just used to taking care of them, so even

1124
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 4: when they got to the age where they were old

1125
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 4: enough to take care of themselves, I was too far

1126
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:57,319
Speaker 4: in the habit. I don't know how me moving back

1127
00:55:57,360 --> 00:56:00,120
Speaker 4: home will totally fix that, though, but I do you

1128
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 4: feel a little responsible?

1129
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: We have some top comments Yeah, I kind of agree

1130
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 1: with that too. It's like, yeah, so you you're blaming

1131
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 1: me for not teaching them how to do this even

1132
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 1: though I'm not their parent. I'm just eight years older, right,

1133
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 1: so you want me to move back so I could

1134
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,759
Speaker 1: do it for them and instead of them still not

1135
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: learn it. Yeah, like this is the perfect time for

1136
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 1: you to teach them right now.

1137
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 4: Top relevant comments from deleted. She just wants your free

1138
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 4: labor from see one odd to your mom, tough crap.

1139
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 4: You are not responsible at all. I know her nothing

1140
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:40,439
Speaker 4: in this. Two younger brothers, one younger sister, grandparents, mom,

1141
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 4: and dad. That is seven people who can clean the

1142
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 4: dang house. My guess is it's either a other issues

1143
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 4: that your mom is deflecting, or B she's lazy and

1144
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 4: figured that since she trained one kid, that kid would

1145
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:58,239
Speaker 4: train the rest. For God's sake, don't move back in.

1146
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 4: If she needs help, look up maid services. She can

1147
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 4: hire a duck run, says normal response. Oh my god, dear,

1148
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 4: I had no idea you did everything around here.

1149
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:10,320
Speaker 1: How awful.

1150
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 4: I should have noticed and then set up of roster

1151
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 4: so that we could all do our share.

1152
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:15,960
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.

1153
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 4: You really shouldn't have done all that by yourself. You

1154
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 4: have spoiled us. Sweetheart, you really are too kind. Here

1155
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 4: is a book about standing up for yourself and a

1156
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 4: big thank you present. What your mom actually said. We

1157
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,480
Speaker 4: didn't know you did all that. We will not thank you,

1158
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 4: We will blame you, We will not change. Now come

1159
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 4: back and be our slave. We have an update thirty

1160
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 4: seven days later.

1161
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 1: Oh well, I mean yeah pretty much. Don't move back.

1162
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 1: Don't move back, stay out of there. You're on your

1163
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 1: own now. That's good. Yeah.

1164
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 4: I was kind of surprised by how much everyone's response

1165
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 4: to my mother was a resounding no. It made me

1166
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 4: feel silly for even considering it. There was really no

1167
00:57:56,440 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 4: benefit to keep enabling my mom and move back home. Well, Reddit,

1168
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 4: I'm sad to say that turning my mom down was

1169
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 4: the first time I had ever really stood up to

1170
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 4: her and it did not go well. She instantly started

1171
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 4: guilt tripping me, how she had raised me, how family

1172
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 4: was everything, how I was being selfish and abandoning her.

1173
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 4: When that didn't work, her insults turned more aggressive. She

1174
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 4: said I owed her money, the money it costs to

1175
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,360
Speaker 4: raise me and put me through college. My parents paid

1176
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 4: partial tuition the accumulation of rent for letting me live

1177
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 4: at home during college. At no point had we ever

1178
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 4: discussed this, etc. Again, she pressed that I was taking

1179
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 4: advantage of the family by not moving back home and

1180
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 4: helping out. Is she going to pay you for all

1181
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 4: those years of cleaning because cleaning services are pretty expensive? Actually, yeah, exactly,

1182
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 4: pull up some of those prizes. Yeah, give her a quote. Also,

1183
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 4: if you're moved out, what is she going to do?

1184
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 4: Take you to court? They'd laugh in her face if

1185
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 4: she tried to sue you for the cost.

1186
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 1: Of raising you. Yeah, totally.

1187
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 4: I don't want to get too much detail because I'm

1188
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 4: still very, very sad about how the sis turned out,

1189
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 4: but my mom hasn't responded to my calls in weeks.

1190
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 4: She antagonized me against the whole family, telling my siblings

1191
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 4: that I did something ambiguously terrible and an and am

1192
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:16,640
Speaker 4: abandoning the family.

1193
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:23,360
Speaker 1: Wow wow wow, Yeah, definitely don't move back. Don't do it.

1194
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 1: If she's like crap talking you to the other siblings,

1195
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 1: then yeah, maybe you can talk to other siblings and

1196
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 1: be like, I don't know mom's talking about this is crazy.

1197
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 1: She just this is just what she wants. So maybe

1198
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 1: you start picking up the slacks so I don't have

1199
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 1: to move back, or she can stop being mad at me.

1200
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 4: And watch your backs because she might ask for the

1201
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 4: money it costs to raise you if you cross her.

1202
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, My gosh, you got little bit left.

1203
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 4: I had a phone conversation with my sister Rachel, who

1204
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 4: said something along the lines of Mom said you did

1205
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,520
Speaker 4: something really mean to her. She won't tell us what,

1206
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 4: but she said, that's why she made you move out.

1207
00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:59,880
Speaker 4: I've never been really close to my siblings, but I'm

1208
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 4: I kind of taken aback how little anyone seems to

1209
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:05,640
Speaker 4: care that I'm gone. Recently, my mom put up a

1210
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:08,760
Speaker 4: picture on Facebook of the whole family with me absent,

1211
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 4: captioned the only people in my life I'll ever need.

1212
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 4: I would cut contact with the mom that is terrible.

1213
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 4: I would not be talking to this girl. Oh my gosh,

1214
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,400
Speaker 4: that is so awful. She's so mean, And so you

1215
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 4: can come back and give me like the biggest nicest apology,

1216
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 4: You're gone. I'm not reaching out to you. That is.

1217
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 4: See how long you can go with that house that

1218
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 4: you can't keep clean? Use you only taught me how

1219
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 4: to do it.

1220
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, the only people you'll ever need.

1221
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 4: It.

1222
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,440
Speaker 1: Seems like you need me to clean your home, right.

1223
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 4: You needed me a little bit ago when you were

1224
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 4: begging me to get your house in sheepe.

1225
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:43,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1226
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1227
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 4: I'm trying to focus on my work and my friends

1228
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:49,600
Speaker 4: to get through this. But I'm in a very sad

1229
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 4: place right now. So top relevant comments Red Rose Beetle.

1230
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:57,480
Speaker 4: She's going through an extinction burst, stepping up the behaviors

1231
01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 4: that have worked in the past in order to make

1232
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 4: you to her. Will stay strong when you doubt yourself,

1233
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,480
Speaker 4: Just remember that your mother doesn't care about you. She

1234
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 4: cares about what you can do for her. If she

1235
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 4: remotely cared about you, she wouldn't be acting this way.

1236
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:16,000
Speaker 4: And Opie says, thank you for this perspective. I think

1237
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 4: this makes a lot of sense. I'm no longer going

1238
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 4: to reinforce her behavior and am going to stop contacting her.

1239
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:25,040
Speaker 4: I get the feeling that she likes that I am

1240
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 4: struggling to reach out to her and wants to make

1241
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 4: me suffer. Deleted says, Wow, the Facebook thing would kind

1242
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 4: of seal it from me. I'd screenshot that, and someday

1243
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 4: in the future, when she calls you needing help with something,

1244
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 4: I'd pull out that picture and tell her that she

1245
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 4: should just call every one of the other people, since

1246
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:44,840
Speaker 4: that's all she'll ever need. Inevitable name says If I

1247
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,440
Speaker 4: were really in need of reminding what I meant to

1248
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 4: my mother, I'd set that as her profile pick in

1249
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 4: my phone. To your drop eighty seven says, first of all,

1250
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 4: quit calling mom. All you're doing is making her feel

1251
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 4: better by allowing her to give you the silent treatment.

1252
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:02,360
Speaker 4: Stop doing that and go about living your life. Heck,

1253
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 4: unfollow her on Facebook so you don't have to see

1254
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,680
Speaker 4: any of the crap she posts. If any of your

1255
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 4: siblings call again, ask if they notice how filthy the

1256
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 4: house has gotten since you left. Tell them you were

1257
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 4: the one keeping the house clean, and Mom's pissed because

1258
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 4: you refuse to come back home and play servant. If

1259
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:22,440
Speaker 4: they get pissy too, block their numbers and carry on

1260
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:25,080
Speaker 4: with your life. Things will cool down in a few

1261
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 4: months and you can re establish a relationship with your

1262
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:31,960
Speaker 4: family on your terms. Opie, I swear if you quit

1263
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 4: calling your mom, she'll start calling you again right now.

1264
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 4: She loves that she is punishing you. She feels justified

1265
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:41,760
Speaker 4: for making you feel bad. Just remember that she thinks

1266
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:44,160
Speaker 4: she has the right to make you feel terrible.

1267
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 1: Opie says.

1268
01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 4: It's literally never occurred to me until now that she's

1269
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:50,520
Speaker 4: ignoring me because she likes that I'm still reaching out

1270
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 4: and suffering.

1271
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 2: Well, now I'm done.

1272
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 4: I'm honestly so shocked. Still how much my mom seems

1273
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 4: to enjoy my guilt. Route eighteen says, Ugh, The fact

1274
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 4: that you spent your entire time at that house doing

1275
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 4: chores without being asked and without any appreciation, only to

1276
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 4: be harassed when you refuse to go back to a

1277
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 4: situation makes my blood boil. You made the right choice. Ope,

1278
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 4: you don't need family who treats you like trash. That's

1279
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 4: the end of that story.

1280
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:24,919
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, wow, wow, wow. All because the house

1281
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 1: got messy, Yeah, because she was doing like half of

1282
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 1: the cleaning. That is so so wild, Like there's gotta

1283
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 1: be other instances growing up where the mom was doing

1284
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 1: things that were like this petty, yeah, because this is

1285
01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 1: so this is like in her blood. There's no way

1286
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:44,440
Speaker 1: that someone could just randomly do something like this.

1287
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 4: She probably just didn't have the catalyst to realize it before,

1288
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 4: and now it's like it's like, oh, shoot, what kind

1289
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 4: of sucks.

1290
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:54,720
Speaker 1: Maybe it's like turned around on op for the first

1291
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 1: time or something like that. But I'm sure she's treated

1292
01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 1: other people like this. I'm sure. Whatever the case is,

1293
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 1: it's just terrible your own mother. And that's the end

1294
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:04,560
Speaker 1: of this story.