1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 2: Some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 1: get into the episode. 7 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,279 Speaker 3: I uninvited my grandma from wedding dress shopping because she 8 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 3: always insults my body. 9 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 2: Grandma. 10 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 3: Trigger warning, we got some body shaming happening here. Buckle up, 11 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 3: might be a long one, lots of context. My wonderful 12 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,599 Speaker 3: fiance twenty eight mel and I twenty nine female, recently 13 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 3: got engaged. We do not want anything super fancy or extravagant, 14 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 3: and we do not want to be engaged for an 15 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 3: incredibly long time, so we're aiming for our wedding to 16 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 3: be in June. By the way, this comes from Connect 17 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 3: Garbage fifty three on the R. Slish Owkay story. Tom 18 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 3: sobred and so my family is extremely excited, and of 19 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 3: course I am as well. I love my fiance and 20 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 3: I am so blessed to have him in my life. 21 00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 3: His family is lovely, he is lovely. Everything's seem to 22 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 3: be going well for the most part so far. That 23 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 3: was until today, let's back up and collect some context, 24 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 3: shall we. I was an outgoing kid until about the 25 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 3: age of twelve, when I entered middle school and underwent 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 3: a lot of bullying. I became an insecure and shy 27 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 3: kid who never smiled and never left my room. My 28 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 3: mother was concerned, so she put me in community theater, 29 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 3: like that's gonna help. There, I met the woman who 30 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 3: would change my life. I went to keep names out 31 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 3: of this, so let's just call her fairy godmother. She 32 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 3: is basically in charge of the arts department in my town, 33 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 3: and she is an absolute legend of a human being. 34 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,919 Speaker 3: She saw something special in me, took me under her wink, 35 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 3: mentored me, prayed for me, and all around built me up. 36 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 3: She taught me that I could be anything and do anything, 37 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 3: and that I had worth. 38 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, you do that, you do. 39 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 3: I feel beautiful and loved when I'm around her, and 40 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 3: she has been in my life ever since. Meanwhile, there 41 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 3: is my grandmother, Nana. Don't get me wrong, I love 42 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 3: my Nana very much. I do, but I have strong 43 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,119 Speaker 3: suspicion that she is a narcissist. She has long been 44 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 3: a person who shamed my mom for being an introvert, 45 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 3: and has shamed me for it ever since I became one. 46 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 3: She talks about the matter as if there's something wrong 47 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 3: with us for not wanting to be around people all 48 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,399 Speaker 3: the time. Furthermore, I've had to watch for years as 49 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 3: she body shamed my mother, who has been struggling with 50 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 3: obesity caused by a myriad of health issues. She has 51 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 3: done the same shaming to me in regards to my 52 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 3: chronic acne. The only time she ever called me pretty 53 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 3: is when I do my makeup, which I rarely ever do, 54 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 3: and she has publicly made such a big show to 55 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 3: tell me how bad my skin looked or how large 56 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 3: my mom was in front of everyone. Shut up, Nana, 57 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 3: will you been so messy? Evil grand mother? God forbid 58 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 3: you call her out on these things and say these 59 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,799 Speaker 3: actions hurt your feelings because nothing could ever be her fault. 60 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 3: She responds by belittling your feelings, minimizing the comment, and 61 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 3: then she makes attempts to guilt trip to you by 62 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 3: threatening self harm or making you feel like you were disrespectful. Well, fine, 63 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 3: I'll shut out forever. I'm just gonna disappear. None of 64 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 3: you would care. I'm an old lady. When I'm gone 65 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 3: your regret disrespecting me. 66 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 2: It's like the most like gross like manipulative behavior you 67 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: can have, especially as like a fully grown senior adult. 68 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 3: These people exist to Knam. When I was an insecure teenager, 69 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 3: I did not want people taking pictures of me and 70 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 3: posting them online. She would go out of her way 71 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 3: to sneak pictures and post them. There's even one where 72 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 3: I am walking away to avoid the camera. She posted 73 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 3: that one with a caption complaining that I never let 74 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 3: her take pictures. Earlier this year, she reposted it as 75 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 3: a Facebook memory. Yeah, we have learned nothing, Loki. That's 76 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 3: actually hilarious. I don't know. 77 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 2: I know that it's a breach of your like privacy, 78 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: but for her to post a picture of you walking 79 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 2: away and being like she never poses for pictures is 80 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 2: low key kind of funny. 81 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 3: My mom is a sweet and non confrontational person who 82 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 3: just wants to respect her mother, so she gives in. 83 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 3: Most people do because there's really no point in arguing. I, however, 84 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 3: have always been a loud a mouth, and I've tried 85 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 3: on multiple occasions to get her to respect my boundaries, 86 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 3: but she doesn't care. And in all these years, she's 87 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 3: learned nothing. 88 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 2: You have to convince them that the ideas that you 89 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 2: have are actually their ideas. 90 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 3: That's still Carnegie principle number five. 91 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. If you flip it around on Nana and be like, 92 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 2: these boundaries are actually good for you. They're not even 93 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 2: my boundaries. They're boundaries I thought you had set. And 94 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 2: then she goes, oh, yeah, you're right. 95 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 3: I have convinced so many people to go to the 96 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 3: place to eat that I want to eat by making 97 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 3: it think it was their idea. So let's fast forward 98 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 3: to now, about five years ago. At my younger brother's wedding, 99 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 3: I was a bridesmaid. The bridal party had all filled 100 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 3: up on pizza at my sister in law's grandparents' house 101 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 3: as we were getting ready. I may have eaten too 102 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 3: much and my dress may have been altered too tightly. 103 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 3: In the car ride to the church, I laughed and 104 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 3: felt a pop. The zipper tract had split open. This 105 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 3: is usually an easy fix, but this was one of 106 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 3: those small heightie zippers. For the life of me, I 107 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 3: could not get the zipper back on track. We get 108 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,159 Speaker 3: to the church and my mom and Nana are outside. 109 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 3: I tell them what happened, so they ushered me to 110 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 3: the women's bathroom, where the rest of the bridal party 111 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 3: already was along with some guests, a full bathroom with 112 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 3: people waiting for stalls to open. As soon as I 113 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 3: entered the bathroom, right in front of the sink in 114 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 3: the mirror, without any warning, my Nuna pulls my dress 115 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 3: up in front of everyone, trying to remove it to 116 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 3: fix it. She exposed my legs and my entire bottom 117 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 3: to everyone who was in there, effectively humiliating me. I 118 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 3: struggled getting away from her and complained. I told her 119 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 3: I wasn't comfortable with that and asked her why she 120 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 3: couldn't have waited until I was installed. She minimized it, 121 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 3: made some comments like, oh, we're all the girls here, 122 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 3: and completely dismissed how I felt. Meanwhile, I was fuming. 123 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,919 Speaker 3: I started to cry. I have struggled for years to 124 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 3: feel confident in my body, so I am more private 125 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 3: about those sort of things, you know. But what really 126 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 3: hurts me was the complete disregard for how it made 127 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 3: me feel. Even if she had apologized and said, you're right, 128 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,359 Speaker 3: I should have waited, then I would have let it go. 129 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 3: But she didn't. She did the same kind of minimizing 130 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,679 Speaker 3: and manipulation she always did, causing me to grow even 131 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 3: more upset. 132 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,039 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, this really feels to me like the 133 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 2: grandma is one of those people who it's just like, Oh, well, 134 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 2: because I'm the grandma, I get to do literally whatever 135 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 2: I want. I've effectively earned a hall pass to be 136 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 2: in charge of everyone around me because I'm the oldest, 137 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 2: which is a ridiculous mentality. 138 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,039 Speaker 3: The argument grew my mother told me to stop talking 139 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 3: so rudely. To my mind, it was a whole scene. 140 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 3: I never forgot that argument. Fast forward to today. I 141 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 3: am engaged now and lately I've been thinking a lot 142 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 3: about who I want to be involved in planning and 143 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 3: special events and such, particularly the wedding dress shopping. I 144 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 3: just want a small group of the ladies in my 145 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 3: life to be there, and I want that list to 146 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 3: be filled with nothing but women who are going to 147 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 3: make me feel spectacular and confident. As I work to 148 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 3: choose address, the list I chose is as follows my mom, 149 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 3: future mother in law, I adore her, my best girlfriend 150 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 3: and fairy godmother. Note the lack of Nana being on 151 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 3: this list. Well, today, at lunch, I explained this to Mom. 152 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 3: I told her I cannot feel body positive with her there. 153 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 3: I just can't. I'm incapable after everything that has happened. 154 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 3: I don't even know if she would cause a big 155 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 3: issue or say anything rude, but I'm still not comfortable 156 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 3: being put on display in front of her giving her 157 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 3: opinions about how I looking address on any sort of platform. 158 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 3: My mother was very upset. She tear it up, saying 159 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 3: this will break Nana's heart and she won't be around forever, 160 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 3: and I will miss these moments. Oh no, no, no 161 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 3: no no no no no no no no. Nana still 162 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 3: come to the wedding. Nana can still be at other functions. 163 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 3: It's just dress shopping. It's like like, oh yeah, we 164 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 3: just want to stress shopping. 165 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 2: If she wants come dress shopping for another dress, that's 166 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 2: not as important because I can't have my Nana body 167 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 2: shaming me into negativity today. That is not what today 168 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 2: is about. Nana needs to reflect on her own behavior 169 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 2: if she wants to figure out why she's been excluded backs. 170 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 3: She told me, this is a big deal for a 171 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 3: bride and her mother and grandmother, and since I am 172 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 3: my mom's only daughter, there will not be another chance 173 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 3: for her to get to do this. She also said 174 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 3: that by inviting fairy godmother, who is not blood related, 175 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 3: instead of my Nana, I will be driving the insult 176 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 3: even deeper. And you will always insult us if you 177 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 3: don't join us live every weekday at three pm PSD. 178 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,439 Speaker 3: Where do we go live to go to? 179 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:01,200 Speaker 4: To be fair? 180 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 2: We go live on four different platforms, YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, 181 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 2: and Twitch. 182 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 4: But we won't be. 183 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 2: Mad if you miss you know one every now and then. 184 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,319 Speaker 3: Right, No, you will insult me if you don't tourin 185 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 3: every single one. 186 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 2: Well, we don't want Riley to be insulted, so make 187 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 2: sure you pull through every weekday at three pm PST. 188 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 3: We got a little bit left. Nana doesn't have a 189 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 3: much time. Are we a viner or not? 190 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 2: I bet this is like a person who'd lived to 191 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,840 Speaker 2: be one hundred and seven. The haters always seem to 192 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 2: persist the longest. I just don't like that. It's, you know, 193 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 2: the idea, you're forced to have somebody who makes you 194 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 2: feel bad in this specific context like present, like of course, 195 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 2: the person who's body shaming you all the time is 196 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 2: going to make you feel bad when you go to 197 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 2: you know, find a dress, and it's like, of course 198 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 2: you want the fairy godmother who like built you up. 199 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 2: And if Nana wants to figure out why she's not coming, 200 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 2: look to fairy godmother as an example of a positive 201 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 2: force from a mentor in her life, which you know 202 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 2: you're Nana's kind of to be. But it doesn't sound 203 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 2: like she's positive at all. It sounds like she literally 204 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 2: has zero respect for you, or your boundaries, or your 205 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 2: feelings or your experience as an individual. 206 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 3: I concur, I concur. We had an argument about it, 207 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 3: which ended in my mom mildly giving in with tears 208 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 3: in her eyes. My decision has been accepted, but I 209 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 3: obviously hate to see my mom upset, and I certainly 210 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 3: don't want to hurt Nana. This is not a malicious 211 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 3: or vengeful decision. This is purely based on my comfort. 212 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 3: But I don't know. Am I wrong? It's true that 213 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 3: I won't have my grandparents forever and I don't want 214 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 3: to hurt her. Should I stick to my decision? Or 215 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 3: am I the a hole? One comment? While sorry, she 216 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 3: can't mind her manners long enough to create a happy 217 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,959 Speaker 3: memory with you. You have whomever you want with you 218 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 3: as you embark on this marvelous journey. This is a 219 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 3: time when you are meant to fill the most amazing 220 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 3: person ever. Enjoy it and congrats. Comment to make your mom. 221 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 3: Watch a couple of Say Yes to the Dress episodes. 222 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 3: You can understand what you don't want at your appointment, 223 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 3: the selfish, self center brat that puts the bride down. 224 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 3: Tell her that's what your nana is going to be. 225 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 3: And you want to feel special and find joying the moment, 226 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 3: not wanting to run away and cry every time you 227 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 3: think about the appointment. Stam firm on this nana can 228 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 3: go for a walk. That is so true. That's such 229 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 3: a good advice. 230 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is exactly why she's not coming. You know, 231 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 2: you could theoretically be like, all right, she can come, 232 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 2: but she has to follow X, Y and Z stipulations. 233 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 2: But she's not gonna do it. No, she would just 234 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 2: railroad right through any of the boundaries that you put up, 235 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 2: and you can express that that's what you feel and 236 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 2: which is why she's not going with any sort of 237 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 2: prerequisites to put on there, because she wouldn't be able 238 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,439 Speaker 2: to shut her mouth, she would be able to keep 239 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,439 Speaker 2: her opinions to herself. 240 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 3: That's a great advice, but that's the end of that story. 241 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 2: My dad's new family stole my inheritance after he passed 242 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 2: by claiming my dad had no kids. 243 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 3: Yep, golden pass you get practice family and they get 244 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 3: to still your inheritance. 245 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 2: I got a phone call from my brother. He told 246 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 2: me that our father had passed away. He was contacted 247 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,439 Speaker 2: by our dad's girlfriend. By the way, this comes from 248 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 2: user APK nineteen nine hundred on the r slash Okay 249 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,680 Speaker 2: storytime subreddit. So she told him that she came home 250 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 2: from work that morning and found him deceased on the 251 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 2: bathroom floor. She suspected an overdose or a heart attack. 252 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 2: My brother was the only point of contact, and I 253 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 2: wasn't contacted by anyone but my brother. He was never 254 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 2: asked to come to the funeral home or what we 255 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 2: wanted to do with the body. He was told that 256 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 2: our father's brother had claimed himself as the next of 257 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 2: kin to the coroner. A few days later, my brother 258 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 2: was informed that our father had been cremated and his 259 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 2: girlfriend had his remains at her home. What that the 260 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 2: girlfriend should never be getting their remains. My brother contacted 261 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 2: dad's girlfriend to see if he can have our father's 262 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 2: sixty five Chevy pickup truck since that was the only 263 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 2: thing he owned in his name and a project they 264 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 2: had worked on together. The girlfriend told him she would 265 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,319 Speaker 2: get back to him when everything settled down. My brother 266 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 2: was in contact with dad's brother, his wife, and the 267 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 2: girlfriend regularly to see when would be a good time 268 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,679 Speaker 2: to come and get the truck. Both of them kept 269 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 2: giving him the run around and never a straight answer. 270 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 2: My brother made another call to the girlfriend and was 271 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 2: informed that she was tired of looking at it, so 272 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 2: she had our dad's brother send his step son to 273 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 2: come and pick it up. So my father's step nephew. 274 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 2: My brother contacted the step nephew, which I guess I 275 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 2: want to call the step few, and told him that 276 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 2: he can come and get the truck from him. Stephew 277 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 2: responded saying that your dad told me years ago if 278 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 2: anything ever happened to him, that I'm to keep that truck. 279 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 2: I already have it transferred into my name. Your dad 280 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 2: told me you are not responsible enough and he would 281 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 2: never leave you something like that. Hey, buddy, you're a stephew. 282 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 2: You need to like pipe down, pipe down dog, steph 283 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 2: You are you serious? 284 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,559 Speaker 3: Like you like to you're talking to. 285 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 2: His son, this steph. You also said some more hurtful 286 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 2: and disrespectful words. I was informed about this situation, and 287 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 2: I reached out to my dad's girlfriend by phone and 288 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 2: told her I would like to retrieve my father's remains 289 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 2: and talk to her about my father. She agreed to 290 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 2: meet with me. She ended up not being able to 291 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 2: meet that day, and we talked on the phone instead. 292 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 2: She told me that we can meet next weekend and 293 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 2: that I can take some of his remains to share 294 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 2: with my brother and sister. That my father has a 295 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 2: bag of photos of my children and family that she 296 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 2: would like me to take, and that I can have 297 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 2: the blanket that is on his bed. After I got 298 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,320 Speaker 2: off the phone with the girlfriend, I sent a text 299 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 2: message to the step nephew and told him I would 300 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 2: like to arrange a time and place to meet and 301 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 2: take the truck. He responded by telling me, hey, check 302 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 2: this out. I don't know what makes you guys think 303 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: that you're entitled to that truck, and I don't know 304 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 2: how you guys got my effing number, but you need 305 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 2: to lose it. He sent my brother a wasted text 306 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 2: saying how much he loved him and to reach out 307 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 2: if he ever needed anything. Is how he got the number. 308 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 2: That truck is in my name. It was left to 309 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 2: me as a gift. Your dad did not want nothing 310 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 2: like that to go to your brother. He talked about 311 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 2: it going to me many times. So tell your emo 312 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 2: brother to get the f out of people's ears. And 313 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 2: if he calls my mom again, me and him are 314 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 2: gonna have a fan problem. You guys gave up on 315 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 2: your dad because he was an addict, and now he 316 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 2: fing odeed, and you think you're entitled to crap instead 317 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 2: of you being there and helping him through all this. BS. No, 318 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 2: my family was there for him. 319 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 3: It sounds like the dad may have just left the family. 320 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 3: That's what honest saying. I don't think you guys gave 321 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 3: up on him. He just left too. Yeah, that's what 322 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:40,640 Speaker 3: I see. 323 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 2: There's multiple layers in this family, Lasagna right now. This 324 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 2: step nephew then sent me a photo of the truck's 325 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 2: vehicle registration to prove to me that he had the 326 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 2: truck transferred into his name. I sent a report of 327 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 2: fraudulent registration through the DMV website, stating that my father 328 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 2: passed away and there's no possible way that he could 329 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 2: have mind over the pink slip and gave the step 330 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 2: nephew the truck as a gift. Nearly five weeks after 331 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 2: his passing, I asked my brother how he would have 332 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 2: done any of that without a death certificate or a 333 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 2: pink slip. He said that he was told the pink 334 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 2: slip was left in the glovebox. My father has been 335 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 2: an auto mechanic for well over thirty years. There is 336 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 2: not a scenario on earth where he would have ever 337 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 2: left a pink slip in the glovebox. The next day, 338 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: the girlfriend called me to tell me that she did 339 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 2: not want to give me the blanket off my dad's 340 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 2: bed because her dogs sleep on it every night and 341 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 2: it would make them depressed if she took it away 342 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,479 Speaker 2: from them. This person needs to go to the sun immediately. 343 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 2: Who do you think you are? Girlfriend? 344 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 3: They getting a whole lot of this dude. 345 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 2: Based on some of this stuff I've heard, This girlfriend 346 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,479 Speaker 2: could have been an enabler. She told me that instead 347 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 2: of the blanket, I could have the Eagles jersey in 348 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 2: the closet that she previously told me the step nephew 349 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 2: had claimed. What step nephew needs to be so far 350 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 2: down the list of like people who are allowed to 351 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,520 Speaker 2: claim stuff. First, I contacted the County Vital Records Department 352 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,199 Speaker 2: to see if my father's death certificate was available. I 353 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 2: was informed that it was available and that nobody had 354 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 2: requested a copy of the record. I contacted the County 355 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,639 Speaker 2: sheriff coroner. I was informed that she handled my father's case. 356 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,440 Speaker 2: She said that her report shows that she asked both 357 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 2: the girlfriend and dad's brother if our dad had children, 358 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 2: and both of them said no. 359 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,119 Speaker 3: Oh, suit, suit sue. 360 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 2: She said that her database also does not show any relatives. 361 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 3: Oh okay. 362 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 2: She told me that there were issues in this case 363 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 2: because on our dad's only filed legal document, which is 364 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 2: his driver's license, his last name was spelled incorrectly. She 365 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 2: told me that I could contact the civil courts or 366 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 2: make a report with the city police department. I called 367 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 2: the police department and I explained my situation not being 368 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 2: named as next of kin, and also that the truck 369 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 2: was taken and quote unquote gifted to his step view 370 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 2: after his passing, and was informed that I needed to 371 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 2: follow up with my DMV report and then the dev 372 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 2: would take legal action if necessary, and I should contact 373 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 2: civil courts as well. I contacted the DMV Investigations Department. 374 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 2: They informed me that they're extremely backlogged. Go figure, and 375 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 2: it would be well into January before my case was 376 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 2: even assigned to anyone. They told me, I need to 377 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 2: come up with any and all documentation that I can 378 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 2: possibly use to prove that the truck should belong to 379 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 2: me or my brother, and it would be difficult and 380 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,360 Speaker 2: nearly impossible without a will. I've had very little contact 381 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 2: with my father in the last fifteen years because of 382 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,679 Speaker 2: his He met my baby son fourteen years ago, and 383 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 2: I told him that whenever he's ready to get clean, 384 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 2: let me know and we can move forward. But I 385 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 2: could not be an enabler or introduce my child to 386 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 2: a relationship that was unstable. It feels like he left 387 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 2: a family that was pressing him to change for the 388 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 2: better and found another situation where people were maybe a 389 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:50,400 Speaker 2: little less lean. 390 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like, we don't really care whatever whatever you 391 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 3: want to do, man. 392 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 2: We're making an assumption there. But people in active addiction 393 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 2: typically don't like to be in environments where they're constantly 394 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 2: challenged on it. Yeah, my brother is nine years younger 395 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 2: than I am and was too little to understand what 396 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 2: living with addiction was like, so he decided to restore 397 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 2: and keep a relationship with him since he was about 398 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 2: ten years old. I do not know if there is 399 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 2: anything I can do legally. The local attorney wants eight 400 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,800 Speaker 2: hundred dollars for just a consult other than my brother 401 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 2: wanting something meaningful that came from my dad. I don't 402 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,679 Speaker 2: even know what kind of justice I'm looking for. I 403 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 2: just don't think they should get away with pretending we 404 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 2: didn't exist. And by the way, we'll never pretend you 405 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 2: don't exist. Whenever you join us when we go live 406 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,880 Speaker 2: every weekday at three pm PST on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, 407 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 2: and Twitch, all you gotta do is tap our profile 408 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 2: when you're in. We do have a little bit of 409 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,160 Speaker 2: story left before you go check if we're live right now. 410 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 2: But honestly, such a messy situation. 411 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 3: We just have a party where everyone makes a will. 412 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,160 Speaker 3: That would be so fun. They've got to have those already. 413 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 3: We have a party with all of our friends. We're like, hey, guys' 414 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 3: was ald me our will? Real quick? 415 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 2: I guess the only thing was really the truck. It's 416 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 2: blowing my mind that the girlfriend is like, you can't 417 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 2: have the blanket because my dog's like it. What an 418 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 2: absolute idiot? 419 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 4: You know. 420 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 2: Part of this is also like how much of this, 421 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,640 Speaker 2: I wonder is coming from op just being like I'm 422 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 2: sure like grief is complicated and they'll probably feel more 423 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 2: and more stuff as time goes on. They didn't have 424 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 2: that relationship for fifteen years, So how much of this 425 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,719 Speaker 2: is really just coming from a place of like, I 426 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,880 Speaker 2: just don't want to feel like we were completely ignored, 427 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 2: like we don't exist and it's less about it was 428 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 2: my dad. 429 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,360 Speaker 3: I don't know, but these people can't be getting wait 430 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 3: with all this crap. They had him cremated without the 431 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 3: kids knowing. 432 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 2: This is a messy story. When my dad was sober, 433 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 2: he was a wonderful father. The first fourteen years of 434 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 2: my life, he was my best friend. I'm angry at 435 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,439 Speaker 2: him for passing without trying to get better, But I 436 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 2: do not believe I was raised to be okay with 437 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 2: being lied to, stolen from, and completely forgot. Do I 438 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 2: have a case here or are my feelings just hurt? 439 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 4: No? 440 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 3: I think I mean, try to do the best you can. 441 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 3: It sounds like a little. You're gonna have to have 442 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 3: a lot of patience with this. Yeah, don't let these 443 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:53,199 Speaker 3: people get away with this. 444 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 2: In terms of a case, it sounds like if they 445 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,880 Speaker 2: told officials that y'all didn't exist. I think that definitely 446 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 2: gives you a case. But we're not lawyers. No, but 447 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 2: generally when people ask you, did he have any next 448 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,159 Speaker 2: of kin and they go nope, nope, those people don't exist, 449 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 2: and you both exist in this plane of reality, I 450 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,719 Speaker 2: think you'll have a case there, but I don't know 451 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,640 Speaker 2: what the timeline will be because stuff moves pretty slow 452 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,640 Speaker 2: like that, especially when there's not a lot of documents 453 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 2: backing it up. But that is the end of that story. 454 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,439 Speaker 2: My mom wants to save her marriage, but my father 455 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,919 Speaker 2: has a mistress. Oh little obstacle course here apologies in 456 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,159 Speaker 2: advance for how long this is. But the backstory on 457 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 2: this definitely matters, and it just gets worse and worse. 458 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,639 Speaker 2: I twenty seven female, want to ban my father's fifty 459 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 2: seven male mistress who will call Patty also fifty seven 460 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 2: female from a family trip I'm planning with my sister 461 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 2: thirty one female and our mom fifty eight female. By 462 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user Acceptable Health nine zero 463 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 2: one on the r slash Okay storytime subpred it So 464 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,679 Speaker 2: mind you they are. They're still married, not legally separated, 465 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 2: but living apart, and my mom does not want to divorce. 466 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 2: She wants to work on their marriage of thirty five 467 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 2: plus years, but he has refused at every turn to 468 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:15,719 Speaker 2: attempt to reconnect. Here's the background. My father has been 469 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 2: quote unquote best friends with his now mistress since childhood. 470 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 2: Is that a true love scenario? 471 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 3: Probably like a first love theory kind of thing. 472 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 2: Ooh. She is also my godmother. She divorced her ex 473 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,520 Speaker 2: husband fifteen plus years ago and they have two boys 474 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,480 Speaker 2: and a girl. When they divorced, my father was constantly 475 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 2: driving four hours away to her home to help her 476 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,959 Speaker 2: with everything from window replacements to painting her walls because 477 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 2: she doesn't have anyone else to help her, while her 478 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 2: boys were in high school and junior high and perfectly 479 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 2: capable to help when she needed it. 480 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 3: Is that what we're calling it these days? 481 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,160 Speaker 2: Yeah? I know your dad's been cheating on your mom 482 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 2: since that painting the walls. 483 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 3: Ooh, but I thought she's just painted him like three 484 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:00,400 Speaker 3: months ago. Oh. 485 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 2: Meanwhile, he was always gone when me or my mom 486 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 2: needed help with something. My mom was basically a single 487 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 2: mother my entire high school career because he was traveling 488 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:13,680 Speaker 2: for work during the week and spent most weekends at Patty's. 489 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 2: My mom confronted him a few times about how it 490 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,240 Speaker 2: looked with him spending so much of his time with Patty, 491 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 2: but he blew her off, saying Patty was too crazy 492 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 2: and mentally unstable for him to ever be with her 493 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,360 Speaker 2: in any capacity except friendship. Yeah, that was a lot. 494 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,879 Speaker 2: Fast forward to when I was in junior year of 495 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 2: college and my grandfather on my father's side had a 496 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 2: stroke and needed someone to be living with him, especially 497 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 2: at night. My father and I split the week at 498 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,120 Speaker 2: my grandfather's house so someone was always there with him, 499 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,920 Speaker 2: which I didn't mind at all because my grandfather was 500 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,360 Speaker 2: a wonderful person. He was eighty eight when this happened 501 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 2: and not in the best of health when this started. 502 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 2: My father had a talk with my mom that he 503 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 2: wasn't feeling connected to her and that he was thinking 504 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,479 Speaker 2: of see it. My mom said that he had a 505 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,439 Speaker 2: lot going on with his dad at the moment, so 506 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 2: he should focus on taking care of him and after 507 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 2: he passes they can really start to work on their 508 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 2: relationship because he'd be around to actually work on it. 509 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 2: He agreed that that would be best and never brought 510 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 2: it up again. At this point, I was hearing from 511 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 2: Patty that she and my father were not friends anymore 512 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 2: because he did something to make her upset and she 513 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:24,880 Speaker 2: wasn't going. 514 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 3: To forgive him. 515 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 2: I had a gut feeling something was up, so I 516 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 2: talked to my sister, who was very close with our father, 517 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 2: and she said it was probably nothing. That he would 518 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,360 Speaker 2: have said something to her if there was something more 519 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,119 Speaker 2: going on between Patty and him, So I dropped it. 520 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 2: A couple years went by, and I got married, moved 521 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 2: in with my husband, and had a baby girl a 522 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,679 Speaker 2: few weeks before COVID hit, and that's when everything changed. 523 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,400 Speaker 2: Uh oh wow, that's. 524 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,400 Speaker 3: A lot of shake up, right a movement? 525 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,160 Speaker 2: Golly, new baby girl, COVID hits and you find out 526 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 2: that your dad has an affair. My father was now 527 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 2: living with my grandfather full time as I was states 528 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,679 Speaker 2: away with my family. About halfway through twenty twenty, Patty 529 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,520 Speaker 2: calls my father and they started talking again. She has 530 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 2: long COVID and her daughter just can't help her the 531 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 2: way she needs to be helped. Her daughter was eighteen 532 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 2: at the time and perfectly capable of helping her own mother. 533 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 2: So my father's bright idea was to take Patty into 534 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 2: my grandfather's home and take care of them both. 535 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, take care of them both, and I don't think 536 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,360 Speaker 3: here giving them both the same treatment. 537 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 2: I would hope not. Meanwhile, my mom is alone in 538 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,919 Speaker 2: the house I grew up in that my father still 539 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 2: owns and has all of his stuff in taking care 540 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 2: of the house and family dog while also working full 541 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,920 Speaker 2: time and overtime in healthcare. One of the big reasons 542 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 2: my mom didn't move into my grandfather's house with my 543 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,360 Speaker 2: father was that she couldn't work from home and would 544 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 2: most likely bring home COVID or the flu, and added 545 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 2: stress of a dog that could knock my grandfather over 546 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,240 Speaker 2: was too much. I asked multiple times where Patty was sleeping, 547 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,400 Speaker 2: and he kept saying she would sleep during the day 548 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 2: and he would sleep at night. That way, they were 549 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,399 Speaker 2: never sleeping together in the same bed. I call the 550 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,680 Speaker 2: BS so many times, but was told I was being 551 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,880 Speaker 2: dramatic and that I needed to drop it. After two 552 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 2: months of Patty living with my father, my mom wanted 553 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 2: to retire and spend more time with my father and 554 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,919 Speaker 2: have time to travel and see me and her new granddaughter. 555 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 2: She asked him if it was financially possible for her 556 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,359 Speaker 2: to retire, and he said that it wouldn't be an 557 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,400 Speaker 2: issue since finances were good. Two weeks after my mom 558 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 2: officially retired, he had his lawyer send a letter of 559 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 2: intent to divorce through the mail. My mom called him crying, 560 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,239 Speaker 2: asking why you would do this. His response was, I 561 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 2: just don't want to be married anymore. 562 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 3: Oh wow, you. 563 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,679 Speaker 2: Have a long term affair with Patty while your wife 564 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 2: is expecting you to reconcile your relationship. Ye, and then 565 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 2: you send her a divorce letter through the mail right after. 566 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,120 Speaker 2: If you're telling her it's time to retire and give 567 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 2: up your life, there was no setup. 568 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 3: For success here. 569 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 2: This is so icky, He went out of his way. 570 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 2: It feels like to do this in the worst possible way, 571 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 2: trash man. So he then asked her not to tell 572 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 2: me or my sister until he's had a chance to 573 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 2: speak with us. She spent three months quietly being a mess, 574 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 2: yet masqueraded like everything was fine around me, my sister, 575 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 2: and our extended family. For Thanksgiving and Christmas. 576 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 3: U uh uh, you get to the end of the 577 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,680 Speaker 3: week before she can spill the me that is crazy 578 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:32,200 Speaker 3: the end. 579 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 2: Of the day. For God's sake, she should be able 580 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 2: to say it whenever she feels like it. Yes, Oh 581 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 2: my god. She finally told me when I pushed forward 582 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 2: to tell me what was wrong, and I was livid. 583 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,400 Speaker 2: I couldn't believe he would stoop so low and lie 584 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 2: straight to my face. Of course, I called my sister 585 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 2: and told her what happened. She was horrified as well, 586 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 2: but decided to give him a chance to come clean 587 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,400 Speaker 2: and hear his side of the story. She got him 588 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 2: to tell her what happened and why he decided to 589 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 2: end them marriage. It then took him another month to 590 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,719 Speaker 2: face me, and I knew he was being a coward 591 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 2: when he did finally talk to me and tell me 592 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,879 Speaker 2: what happened. I then responded with, have you tried to 593 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 2: reconnect with mom? What about couples therapy? When's the last 594 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,199 Speaker 2: time you and her went on a date? Is this 595 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 2: happening because of Patty? And he was just refusing to 596 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 2: talk about it left and right, coming up with excuses 597 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 2: like therapy wouldn't have worked. And I would never be 598 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,240 Speaker 2: with Patty. She's too crazy. Meanwhile, I had been talking 599 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,360 Speaker 2: to one of her sons about this, and he confirmed 600 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 2: that they were in a relationship. I felt so disrespected, 601 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 2: not just because he'd lied to me or that he 602 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 2: blindsided my mom, but also on behalf of my grandfather, 603 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 2: who was every night sleeping right across the hall from them. 604 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 2: At this point. My grandfather was deep into his dementia 605 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 2: and didn't really know what was going on around him, 606 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 2: but I know for a fact he thought cheaters were 607 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 2: the scum of the earth, which just adds insult to injury. 608 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 2: My grandfather passed away peacefully a year later, and at 609 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 2: the funeral, Patty avoided me like the plague. Granted I 610 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 2: was pregnant, hormonal, and grieving, so everyone knew I was 611 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:09,120 Speaker 2: a one side common away from throwing down. Yeah, well, 612 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 2: shouts to you for not. 613 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,080 Speaker 3: Throwing down right. 614 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. After the funeral, my sister and I went back 615 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,719 Speaker 2: to the house to see just how comfortable Patty had 616 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 2: made herself in my grandfather's home. The bed her and 617 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,719 Speaker 2: my father slept inn now had twinkly lights on the backboard. 618 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 2: Oh god. The room had all her furniture in it, 619 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 2: and on her bedside table there was an eight y 620 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,080 Speaker 2: eleven framed picture of my father from his high school's 621 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 2: senior year. I could feel the white hot rage radiating 622 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 2: through my body. I called it out and stood my 623 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,960 Speaker 2: ground for an answer from him. I said, does she 624 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:48,360 Speaker 2: sleep facing you or facing your senior portrait at night? 625 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,240 Speaker 2: Seems to me that you're either in a relationship or 626 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 2: she clearly has an obsession with you. And he raised 627 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 2: his voice, saying drop it now. I always love the 628 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 2: typical dad move of just raising the voice saying to 629 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 2: drop it. My sister's jaw dropped and she backed me up, saying, 630 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 2: she's right, that's weird, and then he walked out of 631 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 2: the room. I was ready to cut off all ties 632 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 2: to him if it weren't for my mom saying wait 633 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 2: until we're through our divorce, because she had hope that 634 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 2: maybe he'd come to his senses and reconnect. Oh poor woman. 635 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 2: I went low contact and only spoke to him when 636 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 2: it concerned buying a house from my mom near me 637 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 2: and selling the family home since he wasn't even living 638 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 2: there and had no plans on moving back. About a 639 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 2: year later, my therapist told me I needed to talk 640 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 2: with my father and get everything off my chest if 641 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 2: I wanted to truly get past everything. So I did. 642 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 2: We talked for three hours and I told him every 643 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 2: damaging thing he's done to me personally and then to 644 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:48,320 Speaker 2: the family, all the lying and gaslighting and making me 645 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 2: feel like the crazy one. He apologized to me and 646 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,360 Speaker 2: agreed to do family therapy with me, but that has 647 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,520 Speaker 2: yet to be followed through on, which isn't a surprise 648 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 2: to me. Now. This brings us to the present. It's 649 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,520 Speaker 2: been seven months since that heart to heart and my 650 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 2: father is still not admitting that him and Patty are together, 651 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 2: yet they still live together in my grandfather's house. To 652 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 2: go no contact if it makes you uncomfortable and he's 653 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 2: still lying to you, call him out that he won't 654 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 2: stop lying and go no contact, and to be clear, 655 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 2: maybe not permanently, but definitely until he comes clean with 656 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 2: the truth. My mom now lives a few houses down 657 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,240 Speaker 2: from me and her two grandchildren and is a big 658 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 2: part of their lives, whereas my father has only seen 659 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 2: them two times a year. Nothing legal has happened since 660 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 2: giving my mom the letter of intent to divorce, which 661 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 2: tells me he's either too broke to divorce or is 662 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 2: not ready to let go of the thirty five plus 663 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 2: year marriage, which to me it sounds like he already 664 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,240 Speaker 2: did because he's been sleeping with Patty for years. Let's 665 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,440 Speaker 2: be honest. My husband is now going to be away 666 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 2: for training for roughly the next year for his new 667 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 2: job and won't have many opportunities to see me or 668 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 2: are kids. So I'm planning a trip to Disney World 669 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 2: since it's kind of close to my husband's training center 670 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 2: and we can see him on the weekend and then 671 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 2: at his graduation later in the week. It also happens 672 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 2: to be a good time for my sister to travel 673 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 2: as well, and my daughter has been asking to see 674 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,720 Speaker 2: her papa for a while now, so my sister and 675 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,800 Speaker 2: I think a family trip wouldn't be a bad idea 676 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,440 Speaker 2: since our mom is civil with our father while he 677 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 2: acts as if nothing has happened between them. What a 678 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 2: hard secret to keep. I can't imagine I'd have to 679 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 2: tell her immediately, just like I want to tell all 680 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 2: of you right now that every weekday at three PMPST, 681 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:34,840 Speaker 2: we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch, so 682 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,959 Speaker 2: you can join us on any one of those platforms 683 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 2: by just tapping our profile and you're in the live. 684 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 2: We might even be live right now. But before you 685 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 2: go check on that, we are going to finish this story. 686 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 3: That just needs to come clean. He's being big coward, 687 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 3: not maning up. I mean, come on, the least you 688 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,200 Speaker 3: can do is to come clean to everyone and move 689 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 3: on with your life. 690 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 2: Just come out with the truth for everybody knows it. 691 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 2: She's got your high school picture on the bedside table. 692 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 2: If you already want the divorce, just be honest. Let's 693 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 2: finish off the story. Now. Here's where I might be 694 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 2: the ahole. I have no problem with my father joining 695 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,479 Speaker 2: us on the trip. However, I do not want Patty 696 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 2: anywhere near me or my children. I want to invite 697 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 2: my father with the ground rule of no dirty mistresses allowed. 698 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 2: I personally feel she's an incredibly toxic person, and I 699 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 2: don't want my kids knowing or asking who that lady 700 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 2: is with Papa, because it'll open up a whole can 701 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,800 Speaker 2: of worms. I do realize my father is also toxic, 702 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 2: but I can't cut him off completely because my daughter 703 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 2: knows him enough that she wants to see him, but 704 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 2: is too young to understand why we don't see him 705 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,680 Speaker 2: as often as Grammy my mom. So would I be 706 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,880 Speaker 2: the a hole for telling my father he can't bring 707 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 2: Patty to the family trip. 708 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 3: No, it's for family, not a fair partners. 709 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, which he'll probably just deny that she is 710 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,440 Speaker 2: that he'll go no, no, no, we're just friends and I 711 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,840 Speaker 2: can never date her. She's too crazy and regardless. Even 712 00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 2: if you did come out with the truth, then she 713 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 2: definitely shouldn't be on the trip. 714 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,240 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories. 715 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor. 716 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 3: My mother in law threw a tantrum at our wedding, 717 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,280 Speaker 3: so now we won't let her near our baby. 718 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 4: If you gotta act like a baby, can't be me 719 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:13,240 Speaker 4: and the baby. 720 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 3: Me twenty five female and my husband twenty three mel 721 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,080 Speaker 3: got married this past January. We had a beautiful winter 722 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,720 Speaker 3: themed wedding with pine garlands, gold accents, and even snow 723 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 3: for hours so off. Our wedding went off without a 724 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 3: hitch and was absolutely gorgeous. We were happy and so 725 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 3: in love. Frat By the way, this comes from Junior 726 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 3: Reindeer eighteen on the r slash. Okay, storytime, slfrid it. 727 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 3: So the only thing about our wedding day that was 728 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 3: sour was a look on my mother in law and 729 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 3: father in law's faces the entire day. We literally have 730 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 3: a picture of me happily walking down the aisle and 731 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,759 Speaker 3: in the background, my father in law looks like he 732 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 3: wants to pass me. Mother in law was not in 733 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 3: the camera view, but people told me she also looked 734 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,239 Speaker 3: this way, so weird. They proceeded not to talk to 735 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,680 Speaker 3: us the entire day. This was a happenstance that me 736 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 3: and my husband were doing our rounds and we happened 737 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,360 Speaker 3: to bump into them as they left our reception. My 738 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,440 Speaker 3: husband pettily held out his hand to his dad and 739 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:14,480 Speaker 3: asad curtly said congratulations. His mom kept walking while opening 740 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,760 Speaker 3: the door to exit. She looked back and snotedly said. 741 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:18,720 Speaker 2: I hope we're happy. 742 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,239 Speaker 3: So yeah, they were very supportive. Why you ask for 743 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,399 Speaker 3: things like this? Me and my husband decided together only 744 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 3: weeks before our wedding that my mother in law would 745 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 3: not light the unity candle before the service. The unity Okay, wait, 746 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 3: for those unfamiliar about the unity candle, a unity candle 747 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,960 Speaker 3: at a wedding is three candles placed at the alter. 748 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,120 Speaker 3: The idea for two people of the bride and grooms 749 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:43,719 Speaker 3: choosing to light one candle. Then during the ceremony, the 750 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,360 Speaker 3: bride and groom light the middle candle with the single 751 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:50,920 Speaker 3: candles and blow theirs out to signify their unity. It 752 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,319 Speaker 3: is common that people choose their mothers to do this, 753 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,760 Speaker 3: but it is obviously up to the bride and groom. 754 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,960 Speaker 3: Our desire was for both our mothers to light the candles. 755 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,640 Speaker 3: Just a little fun fact for later. When I initially 756 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,680 Speaker 3: told my mother in law about her desire for her 757 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 3: to light the candle, she whined profusely and acted like 758 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 3: I needed to talk her into it. So what happened 759 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,440 Speaker 3: that we would revoke the privilege of lighting the candles? 760 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,000 Speaker 3: Hold on to your seat. There were so many details, 761 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 3: and I honestly could write a book about all the 762 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,479 Speaker 3: crap we had to put up with in our only 763 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 3: three month engagement. To put it simply, my mother in 764 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 3: law lost her mind when she realized that her precious 765 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,760 Speaker 3: baby boy was actually going to move out and get married. 766 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,160 Speaker 3: She demanded that we come over to her house for 767 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,680 Speaker 3: dinner every other day. I was still living with my 768 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,360 Speaker 3: family and my fiance with this or else. She would 769 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,799 Speaker 3: literally cry and act like she was neglected. 770 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,760 Speaker 4: Oh my god, she just sounds like a nightmare. 771 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,240 Speaker 3: We put up with this for months, alongside her also 772 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:50,560 Speaker 3: being emotionally and verbally abusive to my fiance. It caused 773 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,760 Speaker 3: a lot of stress between us because my fiance literally 774 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,799 Speaker 3: thought this behavior was normal. I strongly disagreed. Well, two 775 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 3: weeks after Christmas, me and my fiance we're off work, 776 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,680 Speaker 3: so we spent every spare moment we could redoing our house. 777 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 3: This started a down hill spiral that resulted in her 778 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,400 Speaker 3: sending a text message to my fiance that said, just 779 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 3: letting you know, we will not be hosting or paying 780 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,560 Speaker 3: for the rehearsal dinner. We will also not be able 781 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 3: to attend. Ah, don't let her light that candle. Keep 782 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 3: that candle away from her. You let her light that candle, 783 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,320 Speaker 3: You're burning your marriage. 784 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, your marriage is burning to the ground. 785 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,279 Speaker 3: Love is like a fire. It can consume you or 786 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,640 Speaker 3: it can keep you warm. I just came up with 787 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,560 Speaker 3: that hold the cow. Wow, I'm running out on the 788 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:34,200 Speaker 3: top of my book. 789 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,440 Speaker 4: Love is why. 790 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 3: My fiance handled it very well and said that we 791 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,799 Speaker 3: would take care of it. But we still wanted him there. 792 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 3: She then said that he didn't want them there, and 793 00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 3: that he had abandoned his family and that they were 794 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,879 Speaker 3: all heartbroken. The next day, he tried to go over 795 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,680 Speaker 3: to his parents' house to talk to them, and you'll 796 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,800 Speaker 3: never guess what had happened. My mother in law literally 797 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,440 Speaker 3: ran up to my fiance and punched him repeatedly in 798 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,120 Speaker 3: the chest, screaming that he was an effing jerk. 799 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 4: Oh my god, these are nightmare parents that, like you, 800 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,960 Speaker 4: honestly should cut off contact with. 801 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,880 Speaker 3: My father in law soon joined her by verbal abuses 802 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:15,200 Speaker 3: their son. An argument ensued as my fiance tried to 803 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,839 Speaker 3: explain to them that they had made our engagement so 804 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,200 Speaker 3: stressful that he was just trying his best to make 805 00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,680 Speaker 3: the transaction easy for them. They were still hearing from 806 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 3: him every day at this point, and they would not 807 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:30,239 Speaker 3: hear this. Holy cow. Arrest Yeah, arrest your mother probably, dude. 808 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,680 Speaker 4: I mean, you can arrest anyone. 809 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 3: Charge if they're guilty. Yeah, dude, that is wild. Oh 810 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 3: she's so manipulative, dude. My mother in law told my 811 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 3: fiance that she was praying that we broke up. Keep 812 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 3: in mind, this is three weeks before our marriage, and 813 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,480 Speaker 3: that she would object to our wedding. She called me 814 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:50,520 Speaker 3: a psychopath, fing b word, and a master manipulator. 815 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,359 Speaker 4: Look in a mirror. I think there was a mirror, 816 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,160 Speaker 4: but I think she was looking at a mirror when 817 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:55,240 Speaker 4: she was saying all that stuff. 818 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 3: Apparently I had been scheming to destroy their family and 819 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 3: tear her precious baby boy from her clutches. Lol. Long 820 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:05,200 Speaker 3: story short, they never apologized for anything they said to 821 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:09,279 Speaker 3: my fiance, anything they said about me, or on top 822 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,560 Speaker 3: of that, or the things that they did to your fiance. 823 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,000 Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, the literally pretty house. 824 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,440 Speaker 3: We both decided that my mother in law should not 825 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:20,160 Speaker 3: lie the unity candle. Ye, she was not unified with us. 826 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,920 Speaker 4: She's freaking hate you guys. 827 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,799 Speaker 3: Well, five days before our wedding, they showed up at 828 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 3: my fiance's house. He had moved out of their house 829 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,000 Speaker 3: a month before, and my father in law told my 830 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,920 Speaker 3: fiance that if you let another woman like that candle, 831 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 3: it will destroy your mother. My fiance promised that he 832 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 3: wouldn't replace her, meaning that we would not put another 833 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,040 Speaker 3: woman up there. Our solution was to just have my 834 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,840 Speaker 3: mom light both candles so as to not draw attention 835 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 3: to the fact that mother in law was not up there. 836 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:46,279 Speaker 4: Well. 837 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,240 Speaker 3: Mother in law didn't like this arrangement. Who going of guests, 838 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,920 Speaker 3: And to this day she said that my husband chose 839 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,960 Speaker 3: a new mom because she let my mom liked the 840 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,000 Speaker 3: unity candle. We have tried to explain to her over 841 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,000 Speaker 3: and over that we did what we thought was best 842 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:05,239 Speaker 3: under the circumstances and that we weren't trying to hurt her. 843 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,000 Speaker 3: She does not believe us and calls us liars because. 844 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:11,000 Speaker 2: We knew it would pass her away. 845 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 4: Sometimes you got really exhausting people in your lives like this. 846 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,360 Speaker 4: They just want to make everything about themselves and just like, 847 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,720 Speaker 4: ignore her. We have a good wedding, and let your 848 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,919 Speaker 4: op's mom light that candle, and do give this mother 849 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:26,680 Speaker 4: another thought. 850 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,480 Speaker 3: Do the entitlement that's happening here. So ently, freaking audacity 851 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:31,680 Speaker 3: of this witch. 852 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 4: This is crailing over them because of this audacity. 853 00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:36,680 Speaker 3: We would have been married for nine months now, and 854 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,319 Speaker 3: we just tried to talk to my mother in law 855 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,920 Speaker 3: a few weeks ago about this. Anna guess how we 856 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,839 Speaker 3: went badly. It was old in her screaming at us 857 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 3: because she believes we are just trying. 858 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 2: To hurt her. 859 00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,759 Speaker 4: You know what, Yeah, so yeah, we should have. 860 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,279 Speaker 3: Just let her light the dumb candle thing. Me and 861 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,839 Speaker 3: my husband and everyone but my mother in law father 862 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,960 Speaker 3: in law think we made the right choice. And you 863 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 3: can make the easy right choice when you go live 864 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,840 Speaker 3: with us every week day at win Sophia. 865 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:02,840 Speaker 4: Three pm PSD. 866 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:04,319 Speaker 2: And where can they join us? 867 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,239 Speaker 4: Facebook, TikTok, Twitch and YouTube? 868 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,120 Speaker 3: And how do you do thatol? 869 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 2: Easy psy? 870 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, low contact. 871 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 4: Low contact, for sure. I'm actually that they're like screaming 872 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,680 Speaker 4: at you every time this comes up. 873 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:18,600 Speaker 3: No contact? 874 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:19,440 Speaker 4: No contact? 875 00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:19,840 Speaker 2: Is this? 876 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,239 Speaker 4: I mean like low or no contact? One of those 877 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,880 Speaker 4: needs to be the decision. I'm pushing no contact. So 878 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,480 Speaker 4: if you're like paunching your kid, yeah, that's ridiculous. 879 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,000 Speaker 3: And they can't even stand the sight of your wife, Yeah, 880 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:31,800 Speaker 3: and your partner. 881 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,280 Speaker 4: I wouldn't want to be around those people. 882 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:33,680 Speaker 2: Heck. 883 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 3: No, Looking back, I think we should have told them 884 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,360 Speaker 3: not to come to the wedding. But I don't know 885 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,080 Speaker 3: if that's too far. Frankly, I don't think it's fine. 886 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,680 Speaker 3: No no. After that freaking response, Frankly, I think it's 887 00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,920 Speaker 3: funny she's still crying about it nine months later. This 888 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 3: poor victim baby has never been held accountable for her actions, 889 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,160 Speaker 3: and it's pretty ironic that her son and daughter in 890 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,480 Speaker 3: law are the first to tell her that the world 891 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,919 Speaker 3: doesn't revolve around her. We are expecting our first baby now, 892 00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 3: and me and my husband will not be allowing her 893 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:05,319 Speaker 3: anywhere near the baby until she seeks counseling. There's the baby. Okay, 894 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:06,279 Speaker 3: here's a real baby. Play. 895 00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,160 Speaker 4: Oh, there is a baby, Because dude, don't let her 896 00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:09,800 Speaker 4: near the baby. 897 00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:11,879 Speaker 2: She's gonna come crawling back. 898 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:19,760 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, oh my gosh, nah, not with this baby. 899 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:21,319 Speaker 4: Terrible terrible people. 900 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,759 Speaker 3: Terrible, absolutely terrible, terrible. But we have another story for you, 901 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:25,719 Speaker 3: lovely people. 902 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 4: And then we're going to get into it. My in 903 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,399 Speaker 4: laws are turning everyone against me, but I. 904 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:35,879 Speaker 2: Simply don't care one one hundred. She doesn't write them all. 905 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,160 Speaker 4: I have to apologize for how long this is. I 906 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,240 Speaker 4: didn't know I had this much to say. No real names. Okay. 907 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:42,960 Speaker 4: I want to start by letting you all know that 908 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,000 Speaker 4: I'm Muslim, so some things may actually not make sense 909 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 4: to you if you're not. Also, there was some tension 910 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,000 Speaker 4: between me and my in laws since my marriage because 911 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,960 Speaker 4: my husband chose me himself and did not ask his 912 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:55,960 Speaker 4: family to arrange a marriage for him, but I have 913 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,279 Speaker 4: no idea if it relates to how they behaved with 914 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,400 Speaker 4: me or not. By the way, this come from the 915 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,200 Speaker 4: tall dummy on the Okay storytime separated. So my brother 916 00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,800 Speaker 4: in law's wedding was in July, and since the wedding 917 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,960 Speaker 4: it's almost December. Now I have cut off all contact 918 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:12,040 Speaker 4: with all my in laws, just me. My husband and 919 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:16,120 Speaker 4: children still visit weekly and are very familiar with their family. FYI. 920 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,600 Speaker 4: Muslim weddings usually separate women from men where I'm from 921 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,839 Speaker 4: because usually women won't wear jobs at the celebration and 922 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,000 Speaker 4: very few people are allowed to see each woman, so 923 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,640 Speaker 4: it would not work. My brother in law's wedding consisted 924 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,720 Speaker 4: of two parties. The first is a traditional cultural party 925 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 4: where the bride's family basically parties like a bachelorette. The 926 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 4: groom's family welcomed the bride, and the second party is 927 00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:42,040 Speaker 4: a lot like a reception in non Muslim weddings, white dress, 928 00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,280 Speaker 4: food and drinks, and lots of dancing. At the first party, 929 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,200 Speaker 4: I showed up ten minutes late, which wasn't an issue, 930 00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,720 Speaker 4: but everyone was already there, seated or dancing. I greeted 931 00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,560 Speaker 4: my mother in law and took my seat with my 932 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,960 Speaker 4: baby girl in my lap. A little while later, my 933 00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,400 Speaker 4: mother showed up and held my baby for me and 934 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 4: told me to go party and dance with the girls 935 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:02,400 Speaker 4: if I wanted to, so I did. There were my 936 00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,319 Speaker 4: sisters in law three in total, and two wives of 937 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,480 Speaker 4: my other brothers in law, as well as the bride 938 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 4: and other guests. I didn't formally greet anyone while dancing, 939 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,520 Speaker 4: just nodded, waved and smiled at everyone until Laura fake 940 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,200 Speaker 4: name of the wife of my first brother in law 941 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,080 Speaker 4: came up to me and wanted to dance with me. 942 00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,080 Speaker 4: She was very enthusiastic and showing everyone that she and 943 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,120 Speaker 4: I got along together very well, which honestly we do 944 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,800 Speaker 4: because I'm a private person and don't give my honest 945 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:30,160 Speaker 4: opinion on anything I hear, specifically from my family in law. 946 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:34,240 Speaker 4: Now that provoked the entire family due to some drama 947 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,279 Speaker 4: we'll explain below that had occurred between Laura and the 948 00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,560 Speaker 4: family a week prior to the wedding, which I had 949 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,120 Speaker 4: no idea of. The rest of the party, it went 950 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,680 Speaker 4: on for three more hours. Not one person of the 951 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,480 Speaker 4: family even looked at me, let alone spoke to me, 952 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,000 Speaker 4: so about thirty minutes in when Laura came to sit 953 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,360 Speaker 4: near me, I didn't object or leave the table, and 954 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,920 Speaker 4: so the family basically considered. 955 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,120 Speaker 2: Us a team. 956 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:56,640 Speaker 3: Mmmmmm, so they're not. 957 00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:58,920 Speaker 4: So they hate Laura and now they're like hating on 958 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,560 Speaker 4: Opee because Laura kind of like hung out with Opie. 959 00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:02,160 Speaker 3: Weird. 960 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,520 Speaker 4: The night ended and I went home and told my 961 00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,080 Speaker 4: husband what had happened. He of course thought it was weird, 962 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,120 Speaker 4: but told me not to mind them because they were 963 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,959 Speaker 4: crazy and just try to remain respectful the next day 964 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,080 Speaker 4: at the second party. I show up the next day 965 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:17,760 Speaker 4: and everyone is frowning when they see me, except Laura, 966 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,120 Speaker 4: and no one is greeting me. I mean, okay, I'm 967 00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,960 Speaker 4: willing to consider myself family, but you do greet family 968 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,040 Speaker 4: when they show up to your wedding, your son's wedding, 969 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,600 Speaker 4: or your brother's. I listened to my husband's advice and 970 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,080 Speaker 4: didn't mind them and kept myself busy with my three 971 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,600 Speaker 4: children and my mom, who showed up again. But I 972 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,279 Speaker 4: really got red in the face when I noticed them, 973 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,719 Speaker 4: my mother in law and sister in laws dancing with 974 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:41,000 Speaker 4: and celebrating because her birthday was the next day. Julie, 975 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,000 Speaker 4: the wife of my second brother in law, and I 976 00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:46,080 Speaker 4: basically started to figure out that their whole attitude is 977 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,320 Speaker 4: about me and Laura and not the wives of their brothers. 978 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,839 Speaker 4: At the end of the wedding, the women usually do 979 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,839 Speaker 4: wear a job so the men could come in and 980 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,480 Speaker 4: we all would take family pictures and stuff. So when 981 00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,840 Speaker 4: this happened, my father in law came in, of course, 982 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:01,920 Speaker 4: and I noticed that when I went to greet him, 983 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,880 Speaker 4: he brushed me off and pretended not to have seen me. 984 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,960 Speaker 4: My husband saw this and told me to get my 985 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,280 Speaker 4: things so we could leave. We did in almost thirty 986 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:12,440 Speaker 4: minutes after we arrived home. Everyone else did. We live 987 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,200 Speaker 4: in the same corner of the neighborhood and we can 988 00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,480 Speaker 4: see and hear each other mostly when we park out 989 00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,400 Speaker 4: our garages. I asked my husband not to cause trouble, 990 00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,680 Speaker 4: but to understand what was going on, and so the 991 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,080 Speaker 4: next morning he went to his parents' house for breakfast 992 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:29,040 Speaker 4: and returned no longer than fifteen minutes later, fuming, calling 993 00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:33,000 Speaker 4: them sick and mentally ill people and not inconsiderate in 994 00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:36,239 Speaker 4: kind words. What apparently the week before the wedding, my 995 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,120 Speaker 4: father in law went to visit Laura's husband at home 996 00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,920 Speaker 4: because they had work to do together, and basically he 997 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,160 Speaker 4: came into the house without knocking and Laura was lying 998 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,080 Speaker 4: on the couch indecently. Her father in law is allowed 999 00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,040 Speaker 4: to see her without a job, but to some extent. Basically, 1000 00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:52,920 Speaker 4: she was in shorts at a crop top, which is 1001 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,440 Speaker 4: not very appropriate in our religion to be wearing in 1002 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,440 Speaker 4: front of your father in law. She was shocked and 1003 00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,239 Speaker 4: didn't have anything on hand to cover herself, and he 1004 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,600 Speaker 4: sat there for five minutes waiting for his son and 1005 00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,680 Speaker 4: then left with him. The point is he didn't apologize 1006 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,319 Speaker 4: or tell her that she can excuse herself if she liked, 1007 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,960 Speaker 4: not that she needs his permission, but he's basically a 1008 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,280 Speaker 4: guest in my opinion, and everyone who knows the stories. 1009 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,040 Speaker 4: She waited a couple of hours and then called Carly's 1010 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,600 Speaker 4: sister in law and told her what happened. Carly denied 1011 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,560 Speaker 4: that her father would ever do such a thing. 1012 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:25,040 Speaker 3: It happened, Yeah, it happened. That's so weird. 1013 00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,560 Speaker 4: Yeah. I got very loud about this, causing everyone at 1014 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,279 Speaker 4: home to hear the story. All sisters in law, mother 1015 00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,760 Speaker 4: in law, father in law, who had come home earlier 1016 00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,719 Speaker 4: than Laura's husband, and my second and third brother in law, 1017 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,680 Speaker 4: Julie's husband in the group. There was a lot of 1018 00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:42,719 Speaker 4: chaos and basically everyone started texting and calling Laura and 1019 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,520 Speaker 4: cussing her out for accusing him of doing this. Laura's 1020 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,560 Speaker 4: husband got home at some point and stormed to his parents' 1021 00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:52,080 Speaker 4: home very pissed, and argued and fought with everyone and 1022 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,880 Speaker 4: told them that he will only show up to the 1023 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,960 Speaker 4: wedding so people don't understand what's going on, but this 1024 00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:00,120 Speaker 4: will be the last family event he will attend. And 1025 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,919 Speaker 4: I had been on a road trip at the time 1026 00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,480 Speaker 4: with our three children, so we didn't know anything, and 1027 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,640 Speaker 4: nobody told us anything. Well, at least you know you 1028 00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,279 Speaker 4: were on the right side Unknowingly, Laura was hanging out 1029 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,640 Speaker 4: with you, and you didn't necessarily know that she was 1030 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,040 Speaker 4: getting backlash or anything. But she's the one in the right. 1031 00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:18,800 Speaker 4: So apparently they thought I believed and supported Laura against 1032 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,239 Speaker 4: their dad, my father in law, when none of them 1033 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,160 Speaker 4: had told me or my husband anything, And this specifically 1034 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,759 Speaker 4: pissed my husband off even more and he fought with them. 1035 00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:28,920 Speaker 4: A few weeks later, I advised him to take the 1036 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,400 Speaker 4: kids over for dinner and he did, fixing the whole 1037 00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,120 Speaker 4: awkwardness between him and his family. What about Laura, Like, 1038 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,080 Speaker 4: I feel like no one's hating on Laura when she 1039 00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:39,480 Speaker 4: was the one impacted by this, But since then, I've 1040 00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:42,319 Speaker 4: crossed paths with them like a million times, and not 1041 00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:46,520 Speaker 4: one of them even nodded in my direction, including Laura. Laura. 1042 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:47,960 Speaker 4: Now Laura's on their side. 1043 00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 3: They have to put somebody out that like someone else 1044 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,560 Speaker 3: has so Laura's trying to get out of there. 1045 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, but you can cross paths with us every weekday 1046 00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,160 Speaker 4: at three PMPSD. 1047 00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:00,120 Speaker 3: Where Riley on YouTube, TikTok, Twitch and Facebook. 1048 00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, just ta her profile and there is a little 1049 00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:03,920 Speaker 4: bit more to the story, But yeah, it does. It 1050 00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:07,160 Speaker 4: does seem like Laura was, you know, getting all this 1051 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,960 Speaker 4: backlash and so then she threw Op under the bus. 1052 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,920 Speaker 3: Maybe so then now Op has a backlash. It seems 1053 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,959 Speaker 3: like this family needs someone to blame. It's a bad guy. 1054 00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,279 Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. He's like, I wasn't even here when 1055 00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:19,239 Speaker 4: everyone was getting mad. 1056 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:19,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1057 00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,600 Speaker 4: I told my husband that I deduced that Laura had 1058 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,640 Speaker 4: done this in a diabolical move to turn them against me, 1059 00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:27,600 Speaker 4: And it had nothing to do with me believing her 1060 00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,239 Speaker 4: or not, she just wanted more drama and that they 1061 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,600 Speaker 4: specifically didn't want to tell me because it would make 1062 00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,080 Speaker 4: their dad look bad, whether I was on her or 1063 00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,360 Speaker 4: his side. My husband agrees, thankfully, and now I strut 1064 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,480 Speaker 4: into or out of my house whenever the heck I want, 1065 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,759 Speaker 4: and no one can even make eye contact with me. 1066 00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:43,400 Speaker 3: Lol. 1067 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,879 Speaker 4: The latest stunt they pulled was convincing that the new 1068 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,480 Speaker 4: life of my third brother in law that I'm horrible 1069 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:51,160 Speaker 4: or something, because dang, this girl's behaving like I will 1070 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:53,200 Speaker 4: take her to heck or something. So I don't know 1071 00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:55,719 Speaker 4: what are your thoughts, lol, I mean, it seems like 1072 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,040 Speaker 4: your husband's on your side. Yeah, so just takin I 1073 00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,799 Speaker 4: guess you have to ignore these people because during up 1074 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:02,879 Speaker 4: trouble whenever they can. 1075 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it. Just wait six months, someone else is 1076 00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:06,880 Speaker 3: gonna be under the bus and you'll be good. 1077 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,560 Speaker 4: You'll be yeah, you'll be fine. They'll blow over it seems, 1078 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,400 Speaker 4: I mean, if this is if they're well, actually we 1079 00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,480 Speaker 4: don't really know. If Flora's back in, you know. 1080 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,239 Speaker 3: Then good and good races, Yeah, I assume she is. 1081 00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:18,719 Speaker 3: That's so funny because Opie's and the bad races because 1082 00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:20,680 Speaker 3: she supported Laura, No, they're mad at OPI and that 1083 00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:21,640 Speaker 3: it seems like they forgot. 1084 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,959 Speaker 4: Yeah, but we're gonna swap out this story with another one. 1085 00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:28,719 Speaker 3: Let's go and we'll see eh at that John here, We're. 1086 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,440 Speaker 2: Gonna get back to this juicy story, but a quick 1087 00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,040 Speaker 2: three minute of break of ads from our sponsors. 1088 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:36,080 Speaker 3: My mother in law's disrespectfulness has been going on for years. 1089 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:40,120 Speaker 3: It was even shown at my wedding. Now this story 1090 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,120 Speaker 3: is about my wedding about thirty four years ago and 1091 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:47,280 Speaker 3: the subset decades of insults and disrespect we have endured 1092 00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,200 Speaker 3: from my in laws. So back when I thirty three, 1093 00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,880 Speaker 3: Mel and my wife, twenty one female, met in Germany 1094 00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,680 Speaker 3: when I was stationed there and she had gotten a 1095 00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:58,640 Speaker 3: grant from her university to work on a research project there. 1096 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:02,200 Speaker 3: We met dated Hellen, and I asked her to marry 1097 00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,640 Speaker 3: me over there. By the way, this comes from ordinary 1098 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,719 Speaker 3: bed eighty six on the r SO I show. Okay 1099 00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:09,600 Speaker 3: story Tom subread it. So our wedding bands were bought 1100 00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,440 Speaker 3: in Germany. Her parents came over to visit her and 1101 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,160 Speaker 3: her sister and brother in law, who was also stationed there. 1102 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,840 Speaker 3: From the very beginning, they did not like me like 1103 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,720 Speaker 3: that to them. I was beneath them at the time. 1104 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,640 Speaker 3: I was not of the same religion. Me a Baptist, 1105 00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,600 Speaker 3: they Catholic. They had a plan in their mind and 1106 00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:29,160 Speaker 3: what type of man she would marry, and I did 1107 00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:31,760 Speaker 3: not fit that mold. This caused my wife a lot 1108 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,919 Speaker 3: of worry and terreful nights. I bought an engagement ring 1109 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,120 Speaker 3: when we got home. She wore it where we lived, 1110 00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,879 Speaker 3: which was about an hour away, but she wouldn't wear 1111 00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:43,400 Speaker 3: it around her parents. One Thanksgiving we were going to 1112 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:46,120 Speaker 3: their house for dinner, and about halfway there I noticed 1113 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,400 Speaker 3: she wasn't wearing the ring. I turned the car around 1114 00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,200 Speaker 3: and had her get it and put it on. No 1115 00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,800 Speaker 3: one noticed it for a while until we were having dinner. 1116 00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,600 Speaker 3: Her sisters were asking questions about everything, as they do, 1117 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,319 Speaker 3: but the rents were not saying anything. The parents, I 1118 00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:02,560 Speaker 3: could feel the rising in them, and they waited till 1119 00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:05,560 Speaker 3: they got us alone, and then they let us have it, 1120 00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,879 Speaker 3: both hollering at us the same way, how dare we this? 1121 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:10,120 Speaker 2: How dare we that? 1122 00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,800 Speaker 3: On the drive home, I was fuming. She was in tears. 1123 00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:17,000 Speaker 3: What should have been a happy moment turned into a scolding. 1124 00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,640 Speaker 3: Twenty nine year old daughter and her thirty three year 1125 00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:21,840 Speaker 3: old fiance, but we didn't let that deter us. 1126 00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:22,279 Speaker 2: Well. 1127 00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,719 Speaker 3: Fast forward about a year and the wedding day was 1128 00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:30,520 Speaker 3: rapidly approaching. Venue picked out, flowers, catered DJ, dresses, tuxes, everything. 1129 00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,479 Speaker 3: The wedding was beautiful. The reception went off without a hitch, 1130 00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:37,720 Speaker 3: or so we thought. We had the typical father daughter 1131 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,879 Speaker 3: mother son dance, our first dance, and a dollar dance. 1132 00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:43,000 Speaker 3: These were the dances that the DJ suggested when we 1133 00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:45,319 Speaker 3: met and planned the music. The food was great, and 1134 00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:47,560 Speaker 3: we left on our honeymoon, happy and on top of 1135 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:47,960 Speaker 3: the world. 1136 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:48,200 Speaker 1: Whoo. 1137 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,080 Speaker 3: Little did we know the storm that was brewing before 1138 00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:51,680 Speaker 3: us at home. 1139 00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:52,160 Speaker 4: Oh no. 1140 00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,839 Speaker 3: When we got home, we called everyone saying that we 1141 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:56,799 Speaker 3: were back in town, safe and sound. When we talked 1142 00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,600 Speaker 3: to her parents, we were told in no uncertain terms 1143 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,640 Speaker 3: that they would be over to our home following to 1144 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:07,120 Speaker 3: discuss something, okay whatever. The next day, Oh boy, we 1145 00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:09,399 Speaker 3: get it, mother in law. Father in law came over. 1146 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,200 Speaker 3: Mother in law planted her butt in a chair, arms 1147 00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:15,319 Speaker 3: folded across her chest, and her resting, bothered face on 1148 00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,359 Speaker 3: full display. Then father in law harrained us about how 1149 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:22,080 Speaker 3: we insulted mother in law and ruined her night. Thirty minutes, 1150 00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:25,640 Speaker 3: he continued to dress us down for insulting and purposefully 1151 00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,359 Speaker 3: not including her in any of the events of the night. 1152 00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,960 Speaker 3: We sat there and stunned disbelief. We had just returned 1153 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,759 Speaker 3: home from a wonderful honeymoon and we're on cloud nine. 1154 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:37,480 Speaker 3: But from this diatribe, you would have thought we had 1155 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,440 Speaker 3: tied mother in law up and stuck her in a 1156 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,920 Speaker 3: closet somewhere, all the while mother in law had not 1157 00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,640 Speaker 3: moved or said a thing. Was that this gross offense? 1158 00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,839 Speaker 3: What had we done to offend her so much? Did 1159 00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,319 Speaker 3: we forget to serve her dinner? Something gets spilled on 1160 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:54,719 Speaker 3: her dress? No, it was something infinitely more eagerious. We 1161 00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:58,040 Speaker 3: didn't schedule a mother in law son in law special dance. 1162 00:53:57,880 --> 00:53:58,800 Speaker 2: Oh the horror. 1163 00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,120 Speaker 3: Neither of us have heard of that before me growing 1164 00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,600 Speaker 3: up Baptists certainly never heard of it. We had gone 1165 00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,440 Speaker 3: to several weddings prior to hours, and since then there 1166 00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,960 Speaker 3: has never been that special dance. We even called her 1167 00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:11,040 Speaker 3: dj after that, and as if he's ever heard of it, 1168 00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,000 Speaker 3: he said that that was news to him. Just to 1169 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,240 Speaker 3: make sure, we reached out to a few other DJs, 1170 00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:17,360 Speaker 3: and none of heard of that either before, so we 1171 00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:21,040 Speaker 3: were baffled about why, in her delusion mind was this 1172 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,680 Speaker 3: the heel that she chose to pass away on for 1173 00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:24,759 Speaker 3: that entire day. 1174 00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,400 Speaker 4: She just wants to make it all about herself. 1175 00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:27,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was her special day. 1176 00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,000 Speaker 4: It was her special day, and you guys didn't do 1177 00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:31,640 Speaker 4: anything for that. That's pretty rude. 1178 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,919 Speaker 3: We were stunned. My wife was in tears. I was dumbfounded. 1179 00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:36,960 Speaker 3: The mother in law was still mute and had it 1180 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,680 Speaker 3: moved one and a half hours after dropping that bomb. 1181 00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,960 Speaker 3: They left. To this day, the memory of that day 1182 00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:44,920 Speaker 3: was how much we in salted this grown sixty year 1183 00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:47,799 Speaker 3: old something woman and not having her special dance that 1184 00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,080 Speaker 3: she cooked up in her little mind. But that was 1185 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:54,240 Speaker 3: just the beginning of decades of insanity by her parents. 1186 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,200 Speaker 3: For example, when she would come over, she would rearrange 1187 00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:01,040 Speaker 3: pictures on our wall, rerange our kitchen drawer how she 1188 00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,160 Speaker 3: thought it should be arranged. We, of course move everything 1189 00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,000 Speaker 3: back the way we had it, but this woman had 1190 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:09,000 Speaker 3: no boundaries. She continually did this for years until one 1191 00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:12,000 Speaker 3: day when we were at their house, I rearranged pictures 1192 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,120 Speaker 3: on her wall. She never did it again. Dude, o P. 1193 00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:16,480 Speaker 3: He's thinking. Oh, he's thinking fort each other. 1194 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:18,640 Speaker 4: I like, oh, PE's got it up and. 1195 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:22,280 Speaker 3: Out for entire married life until they passed away. Whenever 1196 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:25,000 Speaker 3: they would call us, if I answered the phone, it was. 1197 00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:26,440 Speaker 4: Can I speak to waife's name? 1198 00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,960 Speaker 3: Nut? Hello? How are you? How are the kids? Nothing 1199 00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,080 Speaker 3: to me? One weekend after we bought her home, I 1200 00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,680 Speaker 3: was away on National Guard weekend. We had purchased a 1201 00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,560 Speaker 3: nice mailbox and I was going to install it when 1202 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,880 Speaker 3: I got back. I know this sounds petty, but it 1203 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,920 Speaker 3: is just an example of how intrusive they were. I 1204 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,520 Speaker 3: felt that, as a man of the house, it was 1205 00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:46,439 Speaker 3: my job to put that first mailbox up. But when 1206 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:48,480 Speaker 3: I returned home, father in law had put it up. 1207 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:49,960 Speaker 3: I was beyond pissed. 1208 00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:51,880 Speaker 4: I was oh Pie's mailbox. 1209 00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,520 Speaker 3: It wasn't his mailbox, it was his manhood. 1210 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,880 Speaker 4: It was his manhood, and you trampled all over it. 1211 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:57,880 Speaker 3: You know what, I respect it. 1212 00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,680 Speaker 4: You know, sometimes sometimes you got it's got one moment 1213 00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:02,759 Speaker 4: in your life where you got to prove yourself that 1214 00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,000 Speaker 4: was his. That was it, and now he's never gonna 1215 00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:05,680 Speaker 4: have that moment again. 1216 00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:08,120 Speaker 3: In my opinion, as a man, there are a few 1217 00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,840 Speaker 3: milestones that you want to accomplish in life. 1218 00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:14,200 Speaker 4: I've literally, yeah, you nailed it. You said that, Oh, 1219 00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,920 Speaker 4: I said that, said I nailed it. 1220 00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:19,040 Speaker 3: This is the last one of the day. Guys. Find 1221 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:22,200 Speaker 3: a wonderful woman, get married, check, buy a house. 1222 00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:23,719 Speaker 2: Check, stoll a mailbox, have. 1223 00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,000 Speaker 3: Children checks check, get your first recliner check, and put 1224 00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:28,520 Speaker 3: up that home's first mailbox. 1225 00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:32,000 Speaker 4: Nope, personally didn't know that was on the agenda. And 1226 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:33,920 Speaker 4: I'm not a man, so I guess you know. I 1227 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,520 Speaker 4: didn't know that was the thing either, But is it 1228 00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:36,400 Speaker 4: not gonna be a thing for you? 1229 00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:37,040 Speaker 2: I feel like. 1230 00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,080 Speaker 3: Any house I'm move in will already have a mailbow. 1231 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,440 Speaker 4: That's what I thought, But you know, I don't know 1232 00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:42,040 Speaker 4: where they live. 1233 00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:45,000 Speaker 3: First bird feeder though, Oh yeah, little. 1234 00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:47,480 Speaker 4: Hummingbird kind of deal. Yeah. 1235 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:51,480 Speaker 3: Mother in law, father law, never their dying days accepted me. 1236 00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,799 Speaker 3: I was never good enough for their daughter, even though 1237 00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:57,720 Speaker 3: my life unintentionally married her dad's. Wow, he was a veteran, 1238 00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:00,920 Speaker 3: I was veteran. He sold life asurance, show life inssurance. 1239 00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:03,200 Speaker 3: Even the four plans of our home were very close 1240 00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:07,200 Speaker 3: and four our wedding day. I converted to Catholicism when 1241 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,640 Speaker 3: my wife's sister passed away. I went to her mother 1242 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,719 Speaker 3: and knelt down in front of her and expressed my 1243 00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:14,839 Speaker 3: condolences and sorrows for her loss. I later found out 1244 00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,600 Speaker 3: that she had taken her hearing aids out and did 1245 00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:19,720 Speaker 3: not hear anything. I said, oh my god. 1246 00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:21,800 Speaker 4: He's like, I'm so sorry for your loss, and she's 1247 00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:25,240 Speaker 4: like that, so rude, but so funny, incredibly rude of her, 1248 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:26,360 Speaker 4: so funny. 1249 00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,720 Speaker 3: Oh you know what's funny is when we go live 1250 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,600 Speaker 3: every weekday at three pm? Where do we go love 1251 00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:31,040 Speaker 3: to Sophia? 1252 00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,880 Speaker 4: I YouTube, Facebook, TikTok and Twitch. What time of day 1253 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:34,919 Speaker 4: three PMPSD. 1254 00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:35,880 Speaker 3: How can you join us? 1255 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:37,560 Speaker 4: Just tap that little profile. 1256 00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,800 Speaker 3: That was pretty funny. I cannot stand here in aids. Once. 1257 00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:42,720 Speaker 3: I was at a church in the back, yeah, and 1258 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:46,160 Speaker 3: like probably like three like maybe like you have, you know, 1259 00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:49,200 Speaker 3: I have like sections of churches like two sections down. 1260 00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,920 Speaker 3: I heard people see her in aids. I could hear 1261 00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,280 Speaker 3: the pastors in her an aid from where you would 1262 00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:55,680 Speaker 3: hear them, like they cranked it up so loud that 1263 00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,840 Speaker 3: you could hear there's like speakers going off. 1264 00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,600 Speaker 4: If you medically need hearing aids rightly that for you? 1265 00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,040 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it was just a bunch of 1266 00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:03,600 Speaker 3: old people with their heir and it'd synced up, and 1267 00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:06,320 Speaker 3: I was just like, and you're like a Even though 1268 00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:09,240 Speaker 3: my ears are small, they're very sensitive. I can hear 1269 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,720 Speaker 3: pretty well with them too. I feel like since they're smaller, 1270 00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,560 Speaker 3: they like they like the noise goes into it more, 1271 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,240 Speaker 3: it follows them more. I think that's the same for me. 1272 00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:19,959 Speaker 3: There have even been countless instances of when my wife 1273 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,720 Speaker 3: got off the plane with her mom that she was 1274 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:25,680 Speaker 3: in tears over some imaginary slide that had done something 1275 00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,720 Speaker 3: that I should have done, or something one of her 1276 00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:30,560 Speaker 3: sisters related to her mom that was told her sister's 1277 00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:33,840 Speaker 3: in confidence. Eventually, we learned not to say anything that 1278 00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:37,000 Speaker 3: would be disorted and turned back on us. Her mother was, 1279 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,480 Speaker 3: to me, the stereotypical mother in law. I could go on, 1280 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,200 Speaker 3: but this is starting to become a short story. Thanks 1281 00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:44,320 Speaker 3: for letting me post this. It was cathartic. 1282 00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,960 Speaker 4: I love that the ops like, well, I was gonna say, 1283 00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:48,800 Speaker 4: I love that, Like ope, you know, it's still not 1284 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,720 Speaker 4: over this wedding story from thirty years ago, but it 1285 00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,280 Speaker 4: does seem like it followed him throughout his entire life. 1286 00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,000 Speaker 3: So she did not give them a break. 1287 00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,800 Speaker 4: No, didn't let him put up his mailbox. 1288 00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, the good thing for staf In together. I would 1289 00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:02,120 Speaker 3: have a hard time with that. 1290 00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:04,600 Speaker 4: That would be hard to have your entire partner's family 1291 00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,560 Speaker 4: hate you. But that is the end of that story. 1292 00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:09,360 Speaker 3: Yep. So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. 1293 00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:12,040 Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.