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Speaker 1: M What up everyone, and welcome to Dear Cheek Ease,

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Speaker 1: a very special podcast where I get to speak to

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Speaker 1: my listeners honestly and directly. I'm sharing my thoughts and

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Speaker 1: opinions with you on questions or tips or advice that

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Speaker 1: you may need. I also want to remind you, guys,

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Speaker 1: to seek professional advice if you find yourself suffering from

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Speaker 1: an issue or hardship. That's really important. Guys. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: so this one is from Moon. Oh. I like your name,

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Speaker 1: Hey Cheek. When did you fall in love with yourself?

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Speaker 1: And what kind of work did you do to get

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Speaker 1: to that point? Oh? Moon? Okay, Well, I'm not even

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Speaker 1: gonna lie to you. It's been and up and down yo, Yo.

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Speaker 1: If you could say, if you want to say, like so,

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Speaker 1: that's all I can really think, like up and down.

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Speaker 1: It's been years and moments where I absolutely love myself

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Speaker 1: and then there are times that I have doubted myself

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Speaker 1: and I have beat myself up. I think it's going

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Speaker 1: to be for the rest of our lives. We're going

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Speaker 1: to feel that way. We are evolutional creatures, you know,

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Speaker 1: so you know some momentos I think in my thirties

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Speaker 1: now I think like my thirties have been like the

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Speaker 1: best years of my life where I don't know what happens,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like in our twenties we're getting to

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Speaker 1: know ourselves and figure out what we like and what

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Speaker 1: we don't like, and sometimes we're just trying to fit

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Speaker 1: in and be cool, and in your thirties are just like, um,

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Speaker 1: I am cool, like you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 1: you start just loving yourself and and that's what happened,

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Speaker 1: I think, I want to say, like really really loving

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Speaker 1: myself a couple of years ago really where I was

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Speaker 1: like I've always loved myself, but I fell in love

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Speaker 1: with myself, you know where I'm like, I love myself

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Speaker 1: flaws and all. I'm not perfect. I shouldn't want to

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Speaker 1: be perfect because quote unquote perfect is boring, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. Like there always has to be something

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Speaker 1: to kind of just keep you on your toes and

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Speaker 1: want you to like be better and become a better

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Speaker 1: version of yourself, and it just keeps you going, I feel,

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Speaker 1: you know. So I think it was, yeah, a couple

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Speaker 1: of years ago where I fell in love with myself

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Speaker 1: as a professional as a singer, and I just started

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Speaker 1: really accepting myself and looking in the mirror and telling myself,

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Speaker 1: you're a badass, bitch girl. You've done a lot. Stop

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Speaker 1: worrying about your age. Stop worrying about oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: you're thirty seven years old or thirty five whatever, Oh

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Speaker 1: I'm getting old. Like we got to stop with that, Ladies,

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Speaker 1: Like we have to really just stop with that. Like

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Speaker 1: we have a lot to offer. The older we get,

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Speaker 1: we're like wine, we get better mentally what we should be. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like we get better in

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Speaker 1: every way. And I think we just have to start

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Speaker 1: embracing that. And I really started just not saying it

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Speaker 1: in the mirror, but really believing it and saying, you

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Speaker 1: know what you've accomplished, Like start pointing out things that

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Speaker 1: you like about yourself instead of like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: look at my belly. It's like, no, look at my smile.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you God, from my hair or

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you know what I mean, whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: it helps so much. So anyways, Moon, they were talking

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Speaker 1: about other things, but I just hope that helps because

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Speaker 1: it's what helped me. So thank you for your question, Moon,

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Speaker 1: and I hope that through you know everything, I had

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Speaker 1: to say it helps you, sending you a big hug. Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: so our next question is from Shelley. Let's press play. Hi.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I'm so nervous. I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: I know you can't even see my face, but this

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Speaker 1: issue is touchy for me. It's something that I've been

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Speaker 1: struggling with for a while, and I need some advice.

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Speaker 1: I basically grew up in a very abusive household, with

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Speaker 1: my dad being uh, toxic masculinity, typical matrista man, and

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Speaker 1: my mother was just no help at all. So I

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Speaker 1: grew up in a very toxic environment where it was

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Speaker 1: just me and then my brother. I always saw people

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Speaker 1: with a huge family is and I was so envious

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Speaker 1: of them because of how happy they looked and how

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Speaker 1: happy they seemed, and I just never had that. And

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Speaker 1: so since I was very young, I knew that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be a mother. My biggest dream was to

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Speaker 1: be a mom, have a kid of my own, and

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Speaker 1: have a family of my own. I am with this

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Speaker 1: guy and we've been dating about almost for years now,

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Speaker 1: and he told me two years into our relationship that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want kids, and now he's still set on

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Speaker 1: not wanting kids, but it's not a definite note. But

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Speaker 1: I know I really do want kids, and I don't

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Speaker 1: know what to do. I can't imagine leaving him because

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Speaker 1: I really really love him, but I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do, and I can't afford IVF or egg freezing

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. Help, oh my Shelley. Okay, Look,

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Speaker 1: first of all, in regards to like your family and

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Speaker 1: your upbringing, I I do highly suggest because I saw

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Speaker 1: a lot of that growing up, therapy or counseling if

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Speaker 1: you can. It's a wonderful gift that you can give

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Speaker 1: yourself because sometimes there are things that we don't even

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Speaker 1: know we are carrying around. And right now I'm actually

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Speaker 1: talking to my therapist about that. It's crazy because I

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Speaker 1: thought that I had gotten over some things, but I'm

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Speaker 1: learning to heal my inner child. So that's just, you know,

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Speaker 1: a side note in regards to your boyfriend not wanting

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Speaker 1: to have children, Look, you have two choices, babe. If

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Speaker 1: you love this person and he doesn't want any kids,

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Speaker 1: and he was very very upfront with you from the beginning,

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Speaker 1: then you need to respect that and with time, learn

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Speaker 1: to be happy with just him and satisfied and content

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Speaker 1: with just him and knowing, Okay, we're not going to

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Speaker 1: have children, but if you really want kids, then he

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Speaker 1: also has to respect that, and you have to make

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Speaker 1: a decision of saying, like you said, you don't imagine

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Speaker 1: yourself being without him, but equals you really want kids,

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Speaker 1: then you are at a crossroads and you have to

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Speaker 1: make a decision, you know what I mean, like soon,

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Speaker 1: not now. I'm not saying right now, but eventually, because

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Speaker 1: is I'm telling you, I'm going through it. I still

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Speaker 1: haven't been able to freeze my eggs, and as we

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Speaker 1: get older, we may feel very young, but our body

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Speaker 1: is telling us otherwise. So it'll get to a point

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Speaker 1: where I don't know how old you are, but you're

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Speaker 1: going to have to make that decision because your body

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Speaker 1: is saying that, or you're just okay with just being

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Speaker 1: with him and respecting his decision because if he was

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Speaker 1: up front and it's fair game, I don't want kids

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Speaker 1: and you knew that. So really, I think you're just

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Speaker 1: gonna have to come to terms with either we're not

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Speaker 1: gonna have kids, We're going to stay together, or I

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Speaker 1: have to move on with my life and find someone

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Speaker 1: that does want to have kids, and that's gonna be

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Speaker 1: tough for sure, but you will find someone else that

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Speaker 1: wants to have children. But I'm not telling you to

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Speaker 1: leave him because what if he's a great guy. I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying those are your two choices, and I'm here

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Speaker 1: just to kind of like be somewhat of a mediator,

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Speaker 1: so hopefully I helped. I'm sending you a really really

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Speaker 1: big hug. I love hugs. That's why I send everyone hugs.

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Speaker 1: You guys, Okay, but like I'm sending you a hug, Shelly,

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Speaker 1: and my heart is with you. And God will guide you. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to preach here on but I'm always

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Speaker 1: mentioning God. But I really, really, just I really believe that.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be praying for you. Okay. I hope

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Speaker 1: everything works out. And don't tell your boyfriend I told

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Speaker 1: you to leave him, because that's not true. Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: not what I'm saying. Make sure you listen to this again.

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Speaker 1: Kisses the both of you. Okay. Our next question comes

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Speaker 1: from Stephanie. Let's listen to it now. How do you

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Speaker 1: remove people from your life when they're toxic? Everything you

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Speaker 1: post they think it's for them everything you do, they

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Speaker 1: think you're competing with them. How do you deal with them?

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Speaker 1: I want to advice if you can, please help me,

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Speaker 1: and I want to let you know you're my role model, Stephanie.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for that. This is something I've

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Speaker 1: been dealing with for a long time. I still deal

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Speaker 1: with it from people that you wouldn't even I think,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, there's always gonna be haters. Girl,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you're a singer or you're not. Like,

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Speaker 1: there's going to be people that just hate. It's just

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Speaker 1: part of life. Unfortunately, especially now with social media and

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Speaker 1: toxicity is more. I went on, there's good stuff, there's

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Speaker 1: bad stuff. That's where toxicity lays. So I think just

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Speaker 1: understanding that and not taking it personally, I think that

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Speaker 1: helps us. I mean as far as them feeling that

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Speaker 1: everything you post and everything you say is for them,

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Speaker 1: that's just their own insecurities. So that's really none of

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Speaker 1: our business. Yeahs, you know, God bless them, send them

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Speaker 1: loving light. And I mean, if these people I don't

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Speaker 1: know who they are, whether it be old friends or

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Speaker 1: an old boyfriend or sometimes family members and they say

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Speaker 1: or even just someone that's we don't even know who

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Speaker 1: they are. Sometimes they just create these fake as accounts.

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Speaker 1: I think now I've gotten used to blocking people. Like before,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not going to block you. I'm

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Speaker 1: just like gonna let you see and watch what I'm doing,

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Speaker 1: you know. But it's like, no, like I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: block all that negativity. I'm kind of karate chapping everybody,

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Speaker 1: like you know, I'm like, like, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I think just blocking people from social media and having

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Speaker 1: access to you is like, in any way, is the

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Speaker 1: best thing you could do is protect yourself from negativity

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Speaker 1: as much as you possibly can. You know, sage girls,

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Speaker 1: sage your house, sage yourself over me in the morning

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Speaker 1: and at night whenever I'm feeling a little heavy, because

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Speaker 1: it's an energetic field that we're in, you know, we

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Speaker 1: live in it. Sometimes it's other people stuff that we're

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Speaker 1: caring that we don't even know. What I do is

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Speaker 1: just kind of like I am releasing emotions and feelings

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Speaker 1: that do not belong to me. Release, release, release, and

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Speaker 1: really release and cut those people off. Okay, all that

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Speaker 1: negativity and post whatever you want. If the shoe fits,

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Speaker 1: wear it. So anyways, thanks to Moon Shelly and Stephanie

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Speaker 1: for this week's questions. I love them, you guys. I

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Speaker 1: hope you guys did too. Listening to some of your

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Speaker 1: questions is also making me reflect on myself, so thanks

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Speaker 1: for that. We'll be back next week with another episode

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Speaker 1: of Dear Chickie as usual. Please seek professional help if

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Speaker 1: you're suffering from an issue or hardship that requires immediate attention. Guys,

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Speaker 1: kay Sending everyone a big hug, peace, m hmm. This

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Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio and the Michael

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Speaker 1: Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura

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Speaker 1: Podcasts and follow me checks that's c h i q

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Speaker 1: U i s. For more podcasts from my heart, visit

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Speaker 1: listen to your favorite podcasts.