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Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. He

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Speaker 1: talks back, what's up, y'all, thank you for tuning in

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Speaker 1: for a new episode or week? What you need some

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Speaker 1: warm on? They're nothing I could do, ain't nothing I

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Speaker 1: can do? Is not a wait. This is just the

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Speaker 1: voice they're gonna get. Okay, everybody, it's me A J. Holiday.

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Speaker 1: That's your regular voice, granny, Miss Helen. I was just

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Speaker 1: talking about talking about your voice. Uh my girl, scouts lady.

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Speaker 1: Her name was Miss Helen. Y'all sound exactly alike Miss Helen.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you Miss Helen going forward. Bitch, don't

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Speaker 1: do this. Hey, y'all tell me talking about my morning voice.

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Speaker 1: She got me up early as fuck. So here we are. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So thank you guys for tuning in for a new episode.

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Speaker 1: And we talked back to show dedicated to you niggas

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Speaker 1: and these home. It's your co host, A J. Holiday.

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Speaker 1: I said, damn, oh the deal you y'all? This has

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Speaker 1: been It's nine o'clock, y'all. It's been staring as early

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Speaker 1: as fuck. I don't be talking this early in the morning.

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Speaker 1: But I don't be talking you know how that go?

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Speaker 1: She got me earliest. It's all nine o'clock, about to

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Speaker 1: be lunching a little while frog Man, Hey, y'all's be

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Speaker 1: tim bam. I love y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in again,

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Speaker 1: A j A, thank you for joining me so early

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Speaker 1: in the morning. Whatever, How how is our weekend? Bit?

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Speaker 1: What you mean? We was the game? Now? We was

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Speaker 1: together again? Wends y'all. We went to see Um. It

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Speaker 1: was Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock and Donnelle Rollins. Niggas

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Speaker 1: was so funny. It was so hilarious. I wish I

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Speaker 1: could have recorded it by my phone, but they took

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Speaker 1: my phone and made us put it in a little

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Speaker 1: case that was locked, so I couldn't record the footage.

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Speaker 1: Because I swear I probably would have recorded the whole

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Speaker 1: show social media, right. The funniest part is when Dottie

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Speaker 1: Rollins that nigger was like, I had just said this ship.

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Speaker 1: I leaned over to my home girl. I was like, um,

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Speaker 1: should everybody phone locked? I'm not as gonna be talking

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Speaker 1: helly ship. As soon as I said that, that nigga said, yeah, y'all, crackers,

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Speaker 1: phone locked up. Crack crack crack cracker. Yes he was

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Speaker 1: definitely cutting up. I love a lot of Yeah, everybody

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Speaker 1: was funny. I can't it's smart to make us locker

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Speaker 1: phones because I can't remember not a single joke that

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Speaker 1: I laughed at. I know I was like holding my

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Speaker 1: gut laughing, but I can't remember nothing of Nigga said.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't retail the joke right now for

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Speaker 1: you at all. But just know that Chris Rock went

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Speaker 1: in on Will's Smith. Oh my goodness, he did about

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Speaker 1: twenty five minutes. If y'all have an opportunity and you

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Speaker 1: see this tour coming through your city, you probably should go.

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Speaker 1: That was That's that. Charleston was the last stop. It

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Speaker 1: was only a five show tour. Oh no, my, I

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Speaker 1: gotta catch it on I don't know HBO Max And

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Speaker 1: that was recording it, so it's probably gonna become available

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Speaker 1: to you soon. Yeah. That was a good weekend. It

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Speaker 1: was outside from Thursday to Sunday. My body was out

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Speaker 1: on something, bitch. It wasn't even karaoke that I was

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Speaker 1: grabbing the mic and then people club. Every time I

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Speaker 1: go to the club, like, man, let me get the mic.

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Speaker 1: Why I travel with one? Because motherfucker's be stingy with

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Speaker 1: the mic I don't get at you, Djen. Sunday, my

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Speaker 1: my best friend had her gender real veal from my

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Speaker 1: new guy baby and it's a boy, y'all. So babe, uh,

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Speaker 1: y'all come to my instagram, y'all see that picture. Just

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Speaker 1: put a little baby, a blue baby, not a blue baby,

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Speaker 1: a blue heart and a baby, and there show me

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Speaker 1: some love for my new guy baby. This probably might

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Speaker 1: be closest I get your having babies, I think, so

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for them. I'm grateful for her. So that

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Speaker 1: was my Sunday. Oh no, no, no, that's not all.

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Speaker 1: Then after the the gender reveal, we went to see

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Speaker 1: um oops Oo's had a comedy show. I'm not know

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Speaker 1: if you're all familiar with him. He's really funny. Went

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Speaker 1: to see him in Charlotte and he's done quite a

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Speaker 1: few things, so y'all look for him, my boy. That

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Speaker 1: was my weekend. Let's get in this stupid internet news.

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Speaker 1: What is the sins of this past week? Well, the

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Speaker 1: biggest since um, the unfortunate you know, passing of Tyree

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Speaker 1: nichols Um. The incident actually took place on January the seventh,

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Speaker 1: I believe, but he actually passed away on January tenth,

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Speaker 1: and since then, there's been five officers arrested, and I

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Speaker 1: think they're contemplating arresting the sixth office officer. The five

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Speaker 1: five black officers arrested essentially for the lynching. I'm Tyree Nichols. UM.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what they thought the outcome was going

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Speaker 1: to be. I didn't watch the video, did you? No?

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like the consume things of that nature. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not a movie. This is a real person. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to see that. And I'm blocking anybody that

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Speaker 1: sends that ship to my phone or Instagram. I swear

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Speaker 1: for God, oh block you, but I'll let you know,

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Speaker 1: like that's just not my particular aesthetic that I like

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Speaker 1: to consume. So please don't send me that because I'll

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Speaker 1: carry it with me forever. So I can't handle it.

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Speaker 1: So police on Friday this past Friday released more than

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Speaker 1: an hour worth of footage showing the deadly confrontation on

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Speaker 1: January the seven between twenty nine year old Tyree Nichols

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Speaker 1: and the officers of Memphis Police Department. UM. He died

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Speaker 1: three days later after just a normal traffic stop that

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Speaker 1: turned into a homicide essentially, And to me, it took

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Speaker 1: no time for these guys to be arrested, losing of

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Speaker 1: jobs all that ship, whereas we have to march with

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Speaker 1: the streets when it's a you know, a white officer

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Speaker 1: in a black victim. But this is two birds one stone.

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Speaker 1: At this point, I find it kind of awkward that

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Speaker 1: five excuse me, four of the five officers are q dogs.

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Speaker 1: So the thing is is that you you haven't heard

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Speaker 1: of uh mob mentality? M Like it only takes one

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Speaker 1: out the bunch to activate the others. So like, just

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Speaker 1: think of a pack of wolves. They have a leader.

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Speaker 1: So when the leader does something, it's like something happens

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Speaker 1: in the rest of these Yes, so it's not like

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Speaker 1: somebody has to even verbally say, hey, beat his ass.

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Speaker 1: It's like, uh, some type of I don't know, um,

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Speaker 1: possession essentially, because what would possess y'all do this horrific

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Speaker 1: crime to another black man, brother, to your brother. And

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Speaker 1: that's the thing, um, Because there's a Tarree Nichols in

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Speaker 1: every neighborhood every day. When are we gonna start seeing

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Speaker 1: each other as see you as my brother, see you

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Speaker 1: as my sister? What happened and what happened with the

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Speaker 1: white officer on site? So where y'all showing off for him?

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Speaker 1: And you know, they locked him up fast. But I'm

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Speaker 1: okay with that. I'm not okay with them not locking

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Speaker 1: up the white officers quickly do the same, keep the

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Speaker 1: same energy. But y'all beat the dogshit out of this

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Speaker 1: your brother on the street to death, lock him up.

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Speaker 1: So each was charged with one count of second degree murder,

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Speaker 1: two counts of official misconduct, one count of official oppression,

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Speaker 1: one count of aggravated assault while acting in concert uh,

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Speaker 1: and two counts of aggravated kidnapping, and the death of Nichols,

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Speaker 1: according to Shelby County Sheriff's Sheriff's Office, So he tried

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Speaker 1: to run, like your body is gonna kick into fight

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Speaker 1: or flight. You physically, one black man a hundred forty

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Speaker 1: five pounds six cannot beat these big football player looking dudes.

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Speaker 1: It's impossible. So he ran, and you can hear them.

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Speaker 1: I did hear some of the audio saying, UH, don't

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Speaker 1: make us chase you. So y'all made I had to

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Speaker 1: do some physical activity on the job. I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: And then so now the next thing that pissed me off.

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Speaker 1: Involving this case is Jason Whitlock. Um. He's a media

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Speaker 1: uh commentator. He used to work for the Fox Sports

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Speaker 1: uh MSNBC. I believe also black man. Okay, that's all.

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Speaker 1: So the things that he had to say about this

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Speaker 1: case and black women, because for whatever reason, this day

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Speaker 1: and time, we get blamed for every fucking thing. So

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Speaker 1: the disparaging things he had to say about black women,

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Speaker 1: like I wish I could smack his ass. I swear

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Speaker 1: to God his his face on his ass. I probably

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Speaker 1: shoot him in the ass. How about that? Don't shoot

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Speaker 1: to That's the problem. Black on black violence is the problem.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you, but I am violence. We just

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Speaker 1: need to listen. Violence is necessary sometimes, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. Violence is necessary Sometimes a lot of times

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Speaker 1: change don't come without violence. Unfortunately, on this realm mm hmm,

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Speaker 1: it's necessary. Sometimes. I don't think that people should be

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Speaker 1: able to say and do what the funk they want

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Speaker 1: to do. Period. There has to be law and order.

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Speaker 1: And as a black man to publicly disparage black women,

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Speaker 1: I'm sick and tired of that ship. I'm sick and

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Speaker 1: tired of it. So he was like there's a racial element. Um,

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Speaker 1: and this story about young black men and their inability

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Speaker 1: to treat each other in a humane way. I agree

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Speaker 1: with everybody involved in this on the street level was

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Speaker 1: either twenty four to thirty two years old. Everybody. It

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Speaker 1: was a group of young black men five o one.

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Speaker 1: Looked like gang violence. To me, I can agree. So

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Speaker 1: he goes on to say, um, it looked like what

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Speaker 1: young black men do when they're supervised by single black women.

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Speaker 1: And that's what they got going on in Memphis in

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Speaker 1: the Memphis police department. They've elected some or put some

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Speaker 1: black woman in charge of the police force, and we're

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Speaker 1: getting the same kind of chaos and this unity and

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Speaker 1: violence that we see in a lot of our cities

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Speaker 1: ran by single mothers. Black man black is so unfair.

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Speaker 1: That is so unfair to all of this on black

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Speaker 1: single mothers. Wow, because we make ourselves single mothers. You know,

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Speaker 1: black men are literally out here creating single mothers. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say all because I'm coming to find

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Speaker 1: that there's a lot of black men that don't have children.

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Speaker 1: So it may be that women are having children with

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Speaker 1: men who already have children, right, because there are a

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Speaker 1: lot of single black men who don't have kids, But

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Speaker 1: to put the onus on black women alone, as if

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Speaker 1: we're making ourselves baby mamas. I understand baby mama culture

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Speaker 1: is it's it's a nasty thing, and it's something that's

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Speaker 1: almost damn has celebrated in the Black community. I wish

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Speaker 1: it would be abolished. But we are having these children

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Speaker 1: by ourselves, Like women are choosing to stay in the homes.

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Speaker 1: Men make the choice to leave the homes. It's not

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Speaker 1: the women. I don't even think the women have much

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Speaker 1: of a choice. Yes, they're gonna be daddy maybe right

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Speaker 1: what they're gonna do. Yeah, So Sierra took to um

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Speaker 1: Twitter and she added him it says, as a black man,

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Speaker 1: to get on national TV and say something like this

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Speaker 1: is irresponsible. A lot of amazing kids have come from

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Speaker 1: singer mothers. For you to also undermine single black women

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Speaker 1: in the midst of a tragedy is so sad. This

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Speaker 1: woman just lost her son. Do better, he responds to Sierra.

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Speaker 1: Jason Whitlocke responds to Sierra and says, I appreciate the

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Speaker 1: feedbacks here, but at some point we are going to

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Speaker 1: have to deal with the negative impact of baby mama culture.

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Speaker 1: It's destructive and unsustainable. Come up out of the nile.

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Speaker 1: The nile won't fix the problem. Thanks, But first of all,

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Speaker 1: how did you know that these men come from single mothers?

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Speaker 1: You don't know exactly. He's literally talked about the chief

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Speaker 1: of police being a woman, right, that's what he's saying. Essentially,

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Speaker 1: you don't know these these people's background because they went

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Speaker 1: to college. Okay, the college educated black men who stole

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Speaker 1: chose to do this stupid ship. You don't know what

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Speaker 1: type of household they came from, right, And that's the

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Speaker 1: woman who runs the police force is not their mother.

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Speaker 1: That's not their mama. She's doing a job that doesn't

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Speaker 1: make her incapable because she's a woman. That's what it

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Speaker 1: sounds like to me, as if this ship doesn't happen

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Speaker 1: under the watch of black men, white or white men

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Speaker 1: or anybody, Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, he's ignorant. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's very ignorant. I just wish that if you don't

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Speaker 1: have anything encouraging to say, say to funk off TV

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Speaker 1: and then you're having this conversation in mixed company, is

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Speaker 1: wow to me, Like it sends a message like everything

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Speaker 1: bad in the black community blame black women, and I

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Speaker 1: feel like we get blamed for the majority of the

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Speaker 1: things that happen in our community, and some of the

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Speaker 1: stuff I can agree with, because when we do set

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Speaker 1: the standard and you have children out here being raised

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Speaker 1: by the unraised, it still boils down to just broken families.

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Speaker 1: Where are the black men? Where are the black men? Young?

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Speaker 1: And y'are supposed to be to leaders? Were all at

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Speaker 1: Why y'all ain't staying at your homes and leading your family,

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Speaker 1: leading your woman, leading your children. You make a choice

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Speaker 1: to leave, and now it's still mama's fault. And I

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Speaker 1: feel like a lot of that should even plays out

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Speaker 1: in relationships between black men and women, like intimate relationships.

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Speaker 1: You got all this um, all this disdained for your

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Speaker 1: mama because your daddy made a choice to leave. You

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Speaker 1: don't even realize that the real problem is with your daddy.

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Speaker 1: It's not even what your mom. Mama. Your mama was

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Speaker 1: there and she did the best she could, oftentimes of

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Speaker 1: multiple children, and she could have been married and ended

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Speaker 1: up a single mom. That's my mom story, mine too,

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Speaker 1: mine too. So it's no accountability for black men. No

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Speaker 1: account I never hear accountability come from them now. And

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Speaker 1: I know for a fact that black women do have

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Speaker 1: a problem accepting accountability. I know that I'm a black woman, okay,

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Speaker 1: but we are not about to put the issues of

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Speaker 1: our entire community on black women. That is fucking disgusting.

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Speaker 1: You know, they told us to hate the man, hate

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Speaker 1: the white man, and somehow now black women are the

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Speaker 1: white man. I want to do an episode on that.

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Speaker 1: Are we the black Are we the white man now?

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Speaker 1: Um man? Me, definitely not. But in their eyes, it's

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Speaker 1: like we're being We're being put up on a pedestal

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Speaker 1: above them and all this other ship. And I mean

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Speaker 1: it's a certain demographic of black men who think this way.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's all of them, but it's a

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Speaker 1: good bit. We need to get one of them all

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Speaker 1: so we can have the conversation that necessary conference. I

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Speaker 1: would love to I would love to do that, um

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Speaker 1: and hopefully it wouldn't tear into an argument. I think

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Speaker 1: I can have a conversation about that ship. I get

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Speaker 1: real personal about black women, real personal, because because we

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Speaker 1: are one. Yeah, I just wanna semi condolences to the

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Speaker 1: family of Tyree Nichols. Man. This ship is disgusting yes, yeah, UM,

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Speaker 1: moving on, UM, this is this next story is just

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Speaker 1: I something I agree with. So the Surgeon General, UM,

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Speaker 1: the US Surgeon General vi Vic Murphy says he believes

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Speaker 1: thirteen is too young for children to be on social

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Speaker 1: media platforms because all those UM sites allow children of

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Speaker 1: that age to join. Kids are still developing their identities.

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Speaker 1: I agree. So. I know, like Twitter, TikTok especially, that

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Speaker 1: was a kids app initially, somehow adults got their ass

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Speaker 1: up on there um and turned it out a little bit.

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Speaker 1: TikTok is supposed to be banned soon, I believe, also

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Speaker 1: UM in the US because it is a Chinese rand application. UM. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think thirteen is he says, not until thirteen. No,

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Speaker 1: he says it's too early. He said, what parents need

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Speaker 1: to get together and decide what's the best age for

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Speaker 1: their children, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. He doesn't know what the

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Speaker 1: age is, but he's just saying that thirteen, which is

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Speaker 1: the age that most of these platforms allow people to join, UM,

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Speaker 1: it's just too young. Yeah. I can't agree with that,

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Speaker 1: just because it's almost impossible to monitor what they're consuming,

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Speaker 1: you know. UM. And he says he's based this off

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Speaker 1: of data he's actually seen, and thirteen is just too

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Speaker 1: early because these kids are having like identity crisis. And

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Speaker 1: then also if you're feeling just a little bit like

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Speaker 1: a boy or a little bit like a girl, like

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like you have all these

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Speaker 1: different outlets online to help you know, sway, yeah, push

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Speaker 1: those those thought processes. And it's fucking dangerous because it's

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Speaker 1: adults who probably have mental health issues who are on

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Speaker 1: these apps, um soliciting the kids in all different facets,

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Speaker 1: not just like your sexuality, but you know, a lot

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Speaker 1: of different things. So I agree that thirteen is rather young,

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Speaker 1: but I mean it's up to the parents too rear

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Speaker 1: your children and regulate what they're watching. Like is it

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Speaker 1: is it too early for a thirteen year to have

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Speaker 1: a cell phone? I would say not, you know, because

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Speaker 1: you know your kids are going to school and ship

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Speaker 1: like that. I feel like if we, you know, back

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Speaker 1: when we were in school, if we could have a

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Speaker 1: cell phone, our parents probably would have had as one.

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Speaker 1: Because she is getting way more dangerous out here now

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Speaker 1: than than then anyway, so you need to be able

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Speaker 1: to contact your kids. Things are happening at schools, shootings

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Speaker 1: and all types of crazy ship. Your kids need to phones,

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Speaker 1: but I know they have like the Parental um Guide

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Speaker 1: stuff like on phones where you could block certain app

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Speaker 1: block certain websites. I think parents need to be knowledgeable

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Speaker 1: and implement those those things. If you're paying the bill,

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Speaker 1: who'll funk arguing with a thirteen year old about an app?

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Speaker 1: But here's the thing I feel like oftentimes, and y'all

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Speaker 1: might get mad at me as parents. I'm not a parent,

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Speaker 1: but I see a lot of parents letting social media

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Speaker 1: raise their kids because they don't want to be bothered. Women.

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Speaker 1: They come in, get your tablet, Go get your tablet.

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Speaker 1: Did not buy you a tablet? Go get it? And

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Speaker 1: there's their way of not having to deal with their ass.

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Speaker 1: That's a problem. Yeah, you're not really an active parent, right.

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Speaker 1: I think kids should have a certain amount of time

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Speaker 1: they have access to electronics and social media and ship

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Speaker 1: like that, like maybe hour two a day. You have

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Speaker 1: to monitor as a parent. Kids are kids are going

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Speaker 1: to do what they want to do, but you have

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Speaker 1: to have you know, you gotta have some type of

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Speaker 1: guidance skills in a way, you just letting your kid

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Speaker 1: run them up like that because you don't feel like

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Speaker 1: dealing with him McDonald see the McDonald's McDonald's every day

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Speaker 1: where you're tabbing that. Yeah, I agree with the Surgeon

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Speaker 1: general though. I just want to talk about that. Just

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Speaker 1: I'm scared of what the world is gonna be like

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Speaker 1: when we're when we're elderly, you know why you gonna

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Speaker 1: be something broke back, tat it up, fake booty, fake

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Speaker 1: titty bitches in church, second tattoos in your neck. That's fine,

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Speaker 1: But will the kids care for us and respect this?

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Speaker 1: Probably not? It depends on how you raise your kids.

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Speaker 1: Probably not. You better have some money in the bank,

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Speaker 1: tell me what you think. They're already beating the funk

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Speaker 1: out of their teachers, now, you know, did you see

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00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 1: that video? It was like a black girl she basically

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Speaker 1: attacked her teacher and looks like the teacher was trying

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Speaker 1: to call for helping the cell phone. She knocks her

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Speaker 1: cell phone out the teacher's hand. Then like they end

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Speaker 1: up at the door. She's trying to us to teach

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Speaker 1: her out the door and close the door, and the

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Speaker 1: teachers like stop putting your hands on me. See me? Personally,

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Speaker 1: I would clean every classroom with that little girl ass

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Speaker 1: mm hmm, there's no way. You know, like parents y'all

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Speaker 1: seeing your kids at school and they're terrorizing the fucking teachers, right,

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Speaker 1: no home training, respect, And then you come up there

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Speaker 1: and you get mad with the teacher too, and no,

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Speaker 1: damn well you'd be having to beat her ass at

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Speaker 1: home too. But you're mad because another adult outside of

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Speaker 1: you put their hands on her trying to teach her

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Speaker 1: some respect. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out, like, how

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Speaker 1: do you get to that point? How do you get

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Speaker 1: that fucking mad that you attack a teacher, that you

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Speaker 1: that you have no respect for authority or adults. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You know, I would love my um.

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Speaker 1: I want to I want to build a school. I

358
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: was thinking about like prisons, hospitals, schools, they all look alike.

359
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Speaker 1: What have you had, like a glass dome with a

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Speaker 1: lot of greenery, a lot of sunlight so kids can

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Speaker 1: actually grow, you know what I'm saying, Like you're in

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Speaker 1: school all day, you come out to sun Damn they're gone.

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Speaker 1: Like kids are not even getting the vitamin D the sunlight.

364
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Speaker 1: They need to just grow properly. It's depression. Then you

365
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Speaker 1: got throw social media on top of that and throw

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Speaker 1: McDonald's on top of that anyway, dealing with a lot

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00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 1: of social issues, y'all. We're doing No, we're not. We're

368
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Speaker 1: gonna be good. Oh goodness, take care of us. That's

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Speaker 1: all I can say. So last week we talked about

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Speaker 1: breaking up. This week we want to get into dating, Like,

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Speaker 1: how do you actually date? What's the process of dating?

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Speaker 1: Is there a process for dating? Is there um some

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Speaker 1: extra steps all that ship, We'll see. We'll talk about

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Speaker 1: it when we come back from this break. All right,

375
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Speaker 1: So we're back. So Tam, what's your definition of dating?

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Speaker 1: My definition of dating? Mm hmm. It's going out with

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Speaker 1: someone with the intention of getting to know them in

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Speaker 1: a more intimate way and potentially fucking after the third day.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what that sounds about, right, you know.

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00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,719
Speaker 1: I think we skipped some steps sometimes though. But so

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Speaker 1: the Cambridge Dictionary definition um says to regularly spend time

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Speaker 1: with someone you have a romantic relationship with. When people

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Speaker 1: say they're dating a lot of times, I would think

384
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Speaker 1: you date more than one person, right, So do you

385
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: have a romantic relationship with multiple people? I think that's like,

386
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: that's like the general definition, But is that really what

387
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 1: we believe dating is well. Romance doesn't have to be physical.

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00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 1: You're right, it could be platonic. Mm hmm. I guess no, No,

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00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't even have to be platonic. But it doesn't

390
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: have to be like. Romance doesn't have to be like

391
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: we have sex at the end of the night. Romance

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00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: could be like someone taking you on a nice date,

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Speaker 1: somewhere quiet and quaint and sexy, you know, and then

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00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: on Tuesday you go to the same place with a

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Speaker 1: different person. That don't mean, you know, that's still dating.

396
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean sleeping with everybody. You just have

397
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Speaker 1: romantic intention, you know, right. Look, I got a disclaimer

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Speaker 1: for men that I'm dating. Men oftentimes don't have like

399
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 1: the go to spots they don't know. Women be like

400
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 1: yoping and figuring out like places. If I catch you

401
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: at a place that I introduce you to with another bit,

402
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 1: I'm flipping the table over. I'm clearing it with my forearm.

403
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 1: And if you or that bit, you got something to say,

404
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: I'm kick sweeping, y'all, because why are you in my spot?

405
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: You own the place. This is my place. You didn't

406
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: know about to place. You didn't even know this place existed.

407
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: Or not, you're showing it off to another bit. I'm

408
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: mad and I don't even care if I'm in there

409
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 1: with another nigga my place. So you can take all

410
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 1: the niggas there, but I can't take nobody else. I

411
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 1: take all my niggas. The Pearls Oyster Bar. I love Pearls.

412
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 1: Is only a couple of people I've been there with,

413
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 1: but that's like my goals to spot, even with friends

414
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 1: in town and ship like that. I love Pearls Oyster Bar.

415
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 1: So if I catch you there with somebody else sitting

416
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 1: at my goddamn bar, like on the bar, you don't

417
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 1: own the bar. You don't own the restaurant. Bitch, I'm Pearl.

418
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: I get I'm Pearl. I get what you're saying, but

419
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 1: you don't have that right at all. I don't have

420
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 1: a spot. I used to when I was living in Columbia,

421
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: South Carolina. I used to have like a spot that

422
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: I would take everybody. I don't have that in Charlotte.

423
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 1: I don't have that type of space. I guess I

424
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: guess Capital Grill if I had to pick one, but

425
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: they're kind of falling off lately. Honestly, that food isn't

426
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:20,880
Speaker 1: good to me, you know, like they haven't Yeah, oh yeah,

427
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: I don't know what's eating some oysters and fish. They

428
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 1: got fish, but it's not that good. Um. I'll go

429
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: on like maybe two days in a week with different people.

430
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: M hmm. Are you having sex to any one of them? No?

431
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 1: Are you actually active right now, tam No, note I

432
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 1: ain't now yet. It's only January, you know, February. I

433
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 1: haven't found nobody yet. I want somebody. I know Valentine's

434
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: they come and I ain't got no. Right, I wasn't

435
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 1: supposed to be active this year, but something happened anyway.

436
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: Well that was like the at the beginning of the

437
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: year you told us, right, and yeah, it kept happening.

438
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. I already don't have sex that crazy, not

439
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 1: not that often anyway. So it's still like at a minimum, essentially,

440
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: it's it's first date sex. Okay. I have had sex

441
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: one time, first date mm hmm, two times like that.

442
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 1: I can really twice and I'm still like good friends,

443
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: you know, like cool with the people. Um, So it's

444
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: not like it was like a real like one night stand.

445
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever had I've never had a

446
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 1: one night stand before. Have you mm hmmm, like just

447
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:51,959
Speaker 1: funk on the nigga and never talked to him again. Yeah, interesting,

448
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 1: tell us about it. Listen, whole story's coming from college.

449
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 1: Y'all right, a long time ago. It was just like, ah,

450
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 1: we had fun. I got it wasn't even a date

451
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: that we were on. We met at the club. I

452
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 1: was drunk and ship happened. But I was like super drunk.

453
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 1: I probably like he probably shouldn't have had even wanted

454
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 1: to do it to me, honestly, but he probably was

455
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: drunk too, Like who's the onus on when both plies

456
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: are drunk, like men should you probably was taking his

457
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: clothes off. I'm like, just yeah, hein't had no night stand.

458
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 1: And he was older. He was an older guy. He

459
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: was in town from New York. I think he like

460
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,640
Speaker 1: words it like he was like a New York trash man.

461
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 1: Ye what hey, that's a good job in New York, right,

462
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: He probably was making money. He was he was like

463
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 1: he was young, but he was older than me, and

464
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 1: he was swagging and he said that's what he did

465
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: for a living. Girl. I don't know what happened to

466
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 1: the mean that is a city worker. He was getting

467
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: that check okay in New York, Like, that's the job

468
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: to have, not you're working on rock girl, couldn't have

469
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 1: been None of that should count middle fingers all old life.

470
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, right, So this article I read it said

471
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: dating someone is not considered as being in a relationship

472
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 1: with them. Um, like the current definition of dating right.

473
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: Dating is really more of a stepping stone to get

474
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: into a relationship where one gets to know someone romantically.

475
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: Being in a relationship comes much later. Um, we're excuse me. Um.

476
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 1: Being in a relationship comes much later where the dating

477
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 1: partners do not wish to date other people. Um. They

478
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: have now committed to each other and intend on cultivating

479
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: their shared connection. I think when um and I would,

480
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: and I always say this, I don't think that black

481
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: women we were able, ever like able or even taught

482
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: to date, you know, like your mom and be like

483
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: you better get your work, stop worrying about those boys.

484
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: Then you go to college, worry about your career because

485
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 1: you can't. Ain't nobody gonna take care of you. Da

486
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: da da da. Whereas our white counterparts, white women, you know,

487
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 1: oftentimes they meet their husbands in college and they go

488
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: from their daddy house to their husband's house. You know. Meanwhile,

489
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 1: black women out here buying their frost first homes by themselves.

490
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 1: But why do you think our parents were teaching us

491
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: set based on their experiences and they don't want us

492
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: to be out here funked up? You know, there is

493
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: a culture of us ending up our selves, you know,

494
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: So Mama is just preparing us for the harsh reality

495
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: that that could possibly potentially happen to us. Be able

496
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: to take care of yourself. That's how my mom ever said. Um.

497
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: And this even goes back to the Jason Whitlock eye man,

498
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 1: Black women have been uh conditioned like we gotta survive.

499
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: What what would you have us? Do? You talk ship?

500
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: When we in the projects, you talk ship. We're in

501
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: the corporate setting, you talk ship, and we're the chief

502
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: of police, Like when is enough isn't enough for black women?

503
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: And you're talking ship when we're waiting on the nigger

504
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: to take care of us exactly, But it's okay for

505
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: any other group of women. It's okay for any other

506
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: group of women to depend on their men, and they're

507
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: actually taught that, you know what I'm saying. And if

508
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 1: they can't depend on the man, or if they still

509
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 1: can at least depend on their daddies. A lot of

510
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: us don't even have that. The next part of this thing,

511
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: it says, the exhausting part of this, however, is the

512
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,080
Speaker 1: stage where one does not know what is going on

513
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 1: and it's not sure when or how to ask. And

514
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: I think a lot of women end up in limbo

515
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: limbo in this little yeah, what are purgatory? Essentially? What

516
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 1: are we? Um It says, First, it's very difficult to

517
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: find someone you actually like and are attracted to, And

518
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: then if you've been on a few great dates, you

519
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: don't know how or if you're exclusively dating each other.

520
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: Often when one partner does bring up the fact that

521
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:32,239
Speaker 1: they are not dating other people while dating each other,

522
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 1: they are met with an unexpected reaction like oh, I

523
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: didn't know we were supposed to be exclusive, or um,

524
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 1: I think it's too soon togo to that direction, or

525
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: even worse, getting ghosted. I feel like that's why a

526
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: lot of women don't even ask, or they don't feel

527
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: comfortable enough asking a man like what's next? Where are

528
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: we having? Like a temperature check of the relationship, because

529
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: there we are, we've dated right? The three four dates

530
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: might start having sex m hm. And every man you

531
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: date isn't your husband. I think that women authentis fantasized

532
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: about men immediately, like damn, I could see myself being

533
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: with him, especially after a certain age. Yes, because we're

534
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: we're dating with attention, you know, typically four husbands after

535
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 1: a certain age. I think most of us anyway. Yeah. Yeah,

536
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 1: And I want to get into what is dating with

537
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: intention also, um, because I think like that's the new thing,

538
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 1: dating with intention? But do we really even know what

539
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 1: that is? Because oftentimes you gotta be honest with yourself.

540
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: Do you even want a relationship for real? Because you

541
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 1: the the right guy that you thought you wanted may

542
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,719
Speaker 1: very well come along and you'll pass up on him

543
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: because really you aren't ready for him. Yeah you know, well,

544
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm I'm more ready now. But during pandemic,

545
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to be in the house pot myself.

546
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: A lot of people ended up in relationships or ended relationships, um.

547
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 1: And the pandemic. I think if you were in a

548
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: relationship and you made it through, y'all supposed to be

549
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: together solid, y'all solid in the mother. Um. I don't know.

550
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: So how do you generally meet men, tam, I meet

551
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: a lot of men on social media. Okay, so social media,

552
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 1: so my my d M box be quaking. But here's

553
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 1: the thing, but it's hard to you know, filter through

554
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: those people, honestly. So I have trouble with that because

555
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: a lot of oftentimes it feels like everybody is just

556
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: the same robot right with a face with an avatar.

557
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: I prefer to meet people in like social circles or

558
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 1: social like settings. That's better to me because you really

559
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: get to experience them, even just a little bit, versus

560
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: social media. Social media, everybody's presented themselves like a resume,

561
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: you know, m they only got their highlight reel up.

562
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: You know, all you see is the best of what

563
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: they got to offer. You don't, right, and it don't

564
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: even be real half the time. You know, Like they

565
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: all have a picture of room and it looked nice,

566
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,320
Speaker 1: but if you would actually walking that room, that motherfucker

567
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: is dirty as hill. The only spot that's clean is

568
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 1: the spot where they're taking that picture of no headboard,

569
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: flat pillows, like you, this is where you live at.

570
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:37,399
Speaker 1: So I prefer organic interaction, honestly, Yeah, me too. I UM,

571
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 1: I've never really gotten into like the online dating. I

572
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 1: met one man on online dating. We're still friends to

573
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: this day. When I first moved to St. Louis, like,

574
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,800
Speaker 1: I intentionally got on uh pieces of fish. Either it

575
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: was pieces of fish or bubble. That's not what it's called,

576
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,360
Speaker 1: I know. But it's a getting frenzy on plenty of fish,

577
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It's a feeding frenzy. Like

578
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 1: most of those guys are on there looking for somebody

579
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,760
Speaker 1: just to smash You's not really relationships. But I've actually

580
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: known a couple of people who ended up in relationships

581
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: off of dat naps ship plenty of fish, bumbole. I

582
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 1: have a homegirl who got married off. Yeah. Okay, I'm

583
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 1: trying to get on ray right, me too, bitch. I've

584
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: been trying to get on ray It for two years.

585
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: They won't let me on that mother. I don't think

586
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:28,439
Speaker 1: it's for us anyway, not the black girls. Um yeah

587
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 1: yeah so um so the five steps online, the five

588
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 1: steps to dating pretty general. Okay, So there's the initial attraction,

589
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,240
Speaker 1: what attracts you to a man, Like, what's your initial

590
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: attraction to a guy? Teeth? Yes, I'm a big mile Yes,

591
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm a big teeth person. I was telling one of

592
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 1: our mutual friends I won't say their name. I was like, bro,

593
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,439
Speaker 1: if you just go fix your teeth, your pussy stock

594
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 1: is gonna go up. Wait up, you gotta go fix it, right,

595
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: But everybody don't care about that. Yeah, I think teeth

596
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 1: is like definitely top of my list because um, and

597
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: I mean, they could just be fucked up teeth. That

598
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 1: doesn't mean your mouth is nasty, you know what I'm saying.

599
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: But I think as adults, we should definitely be taking

600
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: care of our teeth. With everybody out here getting the

601
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: I'm not saying for you to go giving airs and

602
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,399
Speaker 1: nothing like take care of your current teeth, like I'll

603
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 1: giving airs when these ones drop out, like motherfucker's these

604
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: If me and Tam don't got shit else, we got

605
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 1: fucking perfect teeth. I'm on my way to the motherfucker

606
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 1: did as soon as we finished record. That's why we

607
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: had to get up and do it so early. It's

608
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:50,280
Speaker 1: just important. Yes, like so teeth um for me. Um physique.

609
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 1: I like bodies. They don't have to be like a

610
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: muscle up body. But I like nice looking, fit looking

611
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 1: men is what I like. I like backs. I like backs.

612
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: There you gotta be my niggas. Ain't gotta be fit

613
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 1: just you gotta be clean, smell good and dressed nice

614
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: and nice. Watch you can have a little belly. I'm

615
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: okay with that, baby. I'll rub all over that little,

616
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: good little little man. Yeah, they gotta be adult boy belly.

617
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 1: It can't just be like a nigger wear a big

618
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 1: belly and hips. Come on, man, yeah you canta be

619
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 1: fat the funk up. Yeah, I don't like too fat,

620
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: but a little little little extra cushion, that's okay. I

621
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: don't care about that. I like beards. I love a beer. Yes,

622
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 1: I went through like just looking at men that I've

623
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: actually dated and ship like everybody gotta a bear, damn there.

624
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 1: I love a beard, so a nice man of hered beard.

625
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: I like them bears with them long strings hanging off

626
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: the bottom, like stop doing that, cut that piece. I

627
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 1: don't like them sucking uh like chin strap looking beers

628
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: like nick, if you don't let that ship grow a

629
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 1: little bit more underneath the neck, like what he doing?

630
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: He trying your barbera fucking you up, but to make

631
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,399
Speaker 1: you change your barber. Dog, I'm gonna call him like listen,

632
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: if you take more hay off my nigga neck. We're

633
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 1: gonna fight. I'll pushing their hairline back. I hate when

634
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,959
Speaker 1: the barbera do that, like stop pushing my nigga hairline back?

635
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: Right alright. So now it's the initial initial attraction. The

636
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 1: next comes reality, like now you get to know the person.

637
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: Look yeah, us dirty, it looks clean in that picture.

638
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: You get to see all the fun about each other,

639
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like women, oftentimes we think

640
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: like we don't come with bullshit. You know what they're

641
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 1: wrong with us? Yeah? And you know we probably point

642
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: it out to men more and they just like either

643
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:55,919
Speaker 1: they'll just suddenly go to funk away from your ass

644
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: or you know, when they say something something to you,

645
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: you feel something, boy, but you have no problem telling

646
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: them what their issues are. I snore so bad, I

647
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,399
Speaker 1: think I need to like go this weekend. Talk about

648
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: I slept in late. I went wake up. Bit it

649
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: took me a while to go to sleep because your

650
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,800
Speaker 1: ass a snore. First of all, I bit, you asleep

651
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: before me, so how is that possible? But then I

652
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 1: woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep, yes, bitch,

653
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 1: And it was yes, I know it's a problem. I

654
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: don't know what to do when I finally went to sleep,

655
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: like I overslept because like my body reset mm hmm,

656
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: bit you snore? I never knew. Yeah, I feel like

657
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 1: all my friends snore aloud. I'm gonna get one of

658
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,320
Speaker 1: them ships to go on my face, you know. So

659
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: I sleep breathing math and then when I have a

660
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: nigger come over and be like you like annig like

661
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: dark vaders. That's what this ship about to turn into. Shame.

662
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 1: Put that motherfucking shot on my face. You got to

663
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: go go to sleep first before them goddamn snores. Man,

664
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 1: that ship can get you. Ain't gonna be able to sleep.

665
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,879
Speaker 1: I dropped thirty pounds. Maybe the snores will go away,

666
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: so we're gonna see. I think, what the what the

667
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: with a lot of men when they lose that weight

668
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 1: off their chests like they do? Stop snoring snoring? Um,

669
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: do you sleep in your back? I sleep on my stomach. Yeah,

670
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 1: you can't sleep on my back. I feel like he

671
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 1: was laying on your side and you was snoring like that.

672
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,279
Speaker 1: I was on my stomach, for sure. I used to

673
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: be so afraid to sleep on my back. But it's

674
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: like the most proper way to actually sleep. It used

675
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: to remind me of laying in a coffin, So I

676
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,279
Speaker 1: would avoid sleeping on my back now and give a

677
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: funk about dying. So I try to go to sleep

678
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: on my back because it is like that's body is aligned. Yeah,

679
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 1: who who body? My booty be making my back like

680
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 1: it's a big space in between the top of my

681
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: back and my blood. Like that makes it uncomfortable laying

682
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 1: on my back. But your back don't be hurt. And

683
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 1: when you sleep in your stomach, mind does Yeah, my

684
00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 1: ship hurt right now? Yeah, you gotta probably try sleeping

685
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: on your back. You think it's gonna be like uncomfortable.

686
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 1: But what I do? I set my pillows up in

687
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: a certain way and comfortable a pillow in the small

688
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:12,760
Speaker 1: of my back, trying to balance it, but so stepping

689
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 1: aside with the pillow in between your legs like pregnant ladies.

690
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 1: That keeps everything in line too. I don't see what

691
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 1: we can do anyway. Commitment come next, y'all. Commitment is

692
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: the third step in dating. So now, um, you guys

693
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: have said, okay, we're just gonna be dating each other

694
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:35,280
Speaker 1: if it goes this way, we know, like in real relationships,

695
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 1: So that's dating exclusively. Yes, so dating and then dating exclusively.

696
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: So I went on like I was talking to a guy.

697
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: We went on like one real day. He didn't live

698
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: in my city, right, so um, he flew in. We

699
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 1: went on the date. It was then, but he you know,

700
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 1: he had potential to me, so I wanted to see

701
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 1: him again. And he said that we needed to start

702
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: dating exclusively at that point, and I was like, Uh,

703
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 1: we've been on one day. I'm not ready to date

704
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 1: you exclusively. And he was like, well, I don't want

705
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,720
Speaker 1: to date you if you're gonna be dating other people

706
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: at the same time. M M. I felt like that

707
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 1: was unfair. Well, I don't think that you can date

708
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: with intent with and dating multiple people. How what we

709
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 1: just said in the beginning it said the first thing

710
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 1: we said was date multiple people at one time, right,

711
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: But that's just regular datings. If you're actually trying to

712
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: date with intent, how do you date multiple people with intent?

713
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: I feel like that has to be done one person

714
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: at a time. I attentually want to decide which niggas

715
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: you I want. I haven't decided that you're the one

716
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 1: that I want to date, but he decided that you

717
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: were the one. Yeah. Yeah, you have to have a

718
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 1: mutual agreement, like you can't one day we went on

719
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 1: one day we live in a different city. Yeah, I

720
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:59,799
Speaker 1: can't decide I want to date you exclusively after one encounter, right,

721
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 1: mm hmm. And y'all you don't know what the dick like. No,

722
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: not even I don't even know what the dick like

723
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: it it's too fast. You're moving too fast. Right, and

724
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: then comes intimacy, so you know if we're going there

725
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 1: the real steps this should be when sex comes in.

726
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: I assume reality, intimacy, and commitment all go together. I

727
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,840
Speaker 1: don't know why that would be, Um, three different steps

728
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: because um, in order to get to know somebody like realistically,

729
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: you'd have to have those intimate conversations with them. Um.

730
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 1: I don't know, but this is this is just a

731
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 1: wicker online dating wiki how dot com um? And then

732
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: engagement and then hopefully marriage is the steps. So five

733
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 1: steps to dating. So now step right, I try to

734
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 1: do like a realistic list. Okay, so again there's the

735
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 1: initial attraction I can agree with, then sex, recording, couples, date, couple,

736
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: a couple of days or whatever. It is, but I

737
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 1: think that sex comes too early sometimes yeah um, And

738
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: then that's when the lines get kind of blurred, all right,

739
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: Like sex don't come early for me, no, more like

740
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 1: it comes real late, and I think niggas get tired.

741
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 1: The right one is gonna get tired. Though. That's why

742
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 1: some women too, because I don't wait. And then i'd

743
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 1: be like, like, that's why I didn't give you no now,

744
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: because you don't have no patience. But that's why it's

745
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 1: important to make men wait, because you know they come

746
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: up what they represented it first, you don't meet the

747
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,240
Speaker 1: real yet until you after, after you don't have you know, sex,

748
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 1: now it's like, oh this you nigga's like, damn, you

749
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: was sucking the trash worker on the first night. Now

750
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 1: I gotta wait, tiffany years ago. I want a different plane.

751
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:02,800
Speaker 1: I got hired standards now people are allowed to change.

752
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: So then on my list, I have a situation ship.

753
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 1: So you're in that stage for about a year, and

754
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: this is when you're like, damn, are we together? Are

755
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: we not together? I feel some type of way when

756
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: he don't call me back or don't answer the phone,

757
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 1: like it's just gray area that can last for a

758
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: long time if you let it. And I think that

759
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 1: if women don't pull themselves out of that area, a

760
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,879
Speaker 1: man will stay there as long as you let him

761
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: his whole life. Yes, you better learn how to use

762
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,359
Speaker 1: your goddamn words masturbate before you go on your dates

763
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: so you won't be so horny, right. I don't think

764
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: a lot of women are. Um. I know one of

765
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 1: my friends, Like, I remember the first time she she

766
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 1: called me, she was like, bitch, I bought a vibrator, Like,

767
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 1: why didn't nobody ever tell me? Like, some people just

768
00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: don't know that. Yeah, you could come for real, we

769
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,480
Speaker 1: have a real right and come to your senses exactly

770
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 1: and go on your date and have a good night, like,

771
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 1: and you're not, you know, hot and bothered the whole time.

772
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: I feel like I have stole been hot and bothered.

773
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: If I want to fuck you, I wanna fuck you.

774
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: I don't give a damn if I just played with

775
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: my pussy before I came my house. It was just

776
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 1: a hold though, so it's different. I'm not a hole girl.

777
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 1: I'm in a hole and over two decades to a

778
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 1: decade and a half, I'm exaggerating with that over too,

779
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 1: But a decade half even old enough to if you

780
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: want to college your hole. All right, So after the

781
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 1: situation ship for a while, then he may get to commitment. Right,

782
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: even if somebody's still cheating, that's your man, now, that's

783
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: your woman. Now people may still be doing a little whatever.

784
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 1: But what does that look like? Because do you have

785
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 1: a conversation, like, hey, we're together. Nobody has a real conversation.

786
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: They just fall into weird together. I've never had a conversation.

787
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,799
Speaker 1: It's like I meet a nigga and we together. I've

788
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,479
Speaker 1: never actually had the conversation. That's why I be working

789
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 1: a back. Let me tell you every relationship I was in,

790
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 1: I've been given the ultimatum. That's how I ended up

791
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: in the relationship. What are you a man? I know

792
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: it swe to God, Swear to God God, because ain't

793
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:26,359
Speaker 1: a way. Every single relationship I was given like an

794
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: ultimatum and like Tommy, I'm about to play with you

795
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 1: no more man either, we're gonna be together. Yeah, so

796
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 1: you get the ultimatum. Yeah, yo, this is God. Every

797
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 1: time commitment is like you know, it's scary anymore. Yeah,

798
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 1: it's scary if you know. For me, I've been always

799
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 1: been a commitment for like, why do we need that?

800
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 1: Why do we need to do that? Everything is fine

801
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 1: how it is, you know, why do we have to

802
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,720
Speaker 1: this determined? Like what this is? It's good? Ain't you happy?

803
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm happy? Why we gotta put labels on it? That

804
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: was me? Shame? That's a grown man, Okay. I don't

805
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 1: like feeling confused. I don't like it. I don't like it.

806
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 1: I don't like it. Like, and I'm at a place

807
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: now I'm not waiting in no situation ships for no

808
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: long as fucking time. If I'm like, if I'm working

809
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: with somebody now, like I don't have no expectations out there,

810
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I'm still no I expect you

811
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:33,240
Speaker 1: to be exactly where you are right because you probably

812
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,719
Speaker 1: already did some ship for me to side eye to you,

813
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: side eye you anyway. So now I'm looking forward to

814
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: the next bullshit. But in the meantime, like I'll still say,

815
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,320
Speaker 1: especially if we have good times together, we're good friends

816
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:48,800
Speaker 1: and ships like that. But I can't have expectations for

817
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 1: um a man who doesn't want kids, I'm supposed to do.

818
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: I don't have any kids, but you do. But here's

819
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 1: the thing. Why do you still entertain them if you

820
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: have no dictations at their point? Um, because it's like

821
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: it's no pressure, it's no like. Maybe I don't want

822
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 1: to be in a committed relationship right now, you know

823
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I feel like if I get to

824
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: that point to where I'm ready for that, then I

825
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 1: would probably just be by myself. And that just means

826
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be having sex with anybody, because I mean

827
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 1: the person having sex with. Like, we go out, we

828
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: do things, but um, could we ever be in a

829
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 1: committed relationship. I don't think so. No, No, I don't know.

830
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 1: I don't think so. We probably have different life paths

831
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: at this point. Yeah, I want a boyfriend now, though

832
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 1: I think I'm in a space where the nixt guy

833
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:42,800
Speaker 1: that I date seriously would not have to give me

834
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: an ultimatum for a relationship, right growth. Look at there,

835
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 1: because almost in her mid thirties, finally ready to get

836
00:49:56,000 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: serious with a nigga. Shame, shame, shame, shame, all right, y'all.

837
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 1: So after this break, I want to get into what

838
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 1: black men dislike the most about dating, all right, And

839
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 1: some of you ladies, this might be you. So this

840
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 1: is from Essence You guys, an article about what black

841
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 1: men dislike the most about dating. So a list a

842
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 1: few things from um black men between the ages of

843
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: like thirty five and forty, um, different walks of life essentially.

844
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: So one of the things that black men don't like is, uh,

845
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 1: women changing after becoming exclusive. So this guy says, don't

846
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: change once we become exclusive. The dating period is a

847
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 1: time for evaluation. It's a chance for us to get

848
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: to know each other and decide whether or not we

849
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 1: want to take the relationship to another level. If you

850
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: were okay with me going out with my boys, pr

851
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 1: periodically enjoyed physical fitness and cooking meals, and kept yourself

852
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 1: well primped throughout the dating period, don't change those things

853
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 1: once we become exclusive. I think that that's probably like

854
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 1: one of the number one complaints for men is that

855
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 1: women change after they actually get into the relationship. So

856
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:23,399
Speaker 1: they I feel like that's fair they changed too, though

857
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:27,399
Speaker 1: I don't think they recognize it. Everybody changes. Some men

858
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: don't transition from single to in relationship, so they think

859
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 1: they can still do the same things that they are

860
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 1: supposed to change exactly. You know, So you want me

861
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: to be you want me to be your wife or

862
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: your homie, love a friend? Which one? Because that looks different?

863
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: And then when a woman has the baby is hard

864
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 1: to get that weight off. Don't judge your helper. Well,

865
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 1: we didn't even talk about kids. We talk about the

866
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:56,800
Speaker 1: dating ships. But no, that happens. They're like physical fitness.

867
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 1: Typically that's what they're you know, talking about when a woman,

868
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 1: I don't think so I always gain relationship weight, like, yes,

869
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 1: like laying up eating y'all eating out more. You have

870
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 1: a partner to eat out with all the time, Like

871
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 1: you start getting a little bit of that happy. Yeah,

872
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 1: it happens to women a lot. So we have to

873
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: find a balance. Um. Usually we get fit after we

874
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 1: get hurt. Yeah. In fact, like somebody get my body down.

875
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: I don't even know what like, I don't my way.

876
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 1: I don't know what my way. I can attribute it

877
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 1: to just eating by myself dating, it's still dating. Um.

878
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:45,839
Speaker 1: The next thing, having expectations you don't meet yourself. Um.

879
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 1: I get discouraged a lot when I hear women say

880
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 1: what they are looking for but not truly meaning it.

881
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 1: You want a business owner, you want a go getter,

882
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 1: but upset when he is working to go get it.

883
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: You want someone who is financial stable, but you're spending

884
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 1: habits are terrible. Uh know that if you want a

885
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:07,239
Speaker 1: business owner, you may have to bring dinner to the

886
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 1: office because true business owners work late hours. So you

887
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 1: want this man who's getting to the bag, y'all get

888
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 1: into the bag that looks different, you know, as oppos said, nigga,

889
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 1: who I'm working on? Who's not working anywhere? Right? What

890
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 1: do you really want? But we want to both. We

891
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 1: want a man who got money and can be at

892
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 1: home all the time. No, you don't want a man

893
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: that could be at home all the time. You're gonna

894
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 1: get sick of seeing. I'm like, you don't want it

895
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: has to be not all the time. But you know,

896
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: like when we want it, we want them there is

897
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: that realistic. It's not, but that's what we want. But

898
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:48,840
Speaker 1: you have That's why you have to have some business

899
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 1: about yourself. Then that way you're not concerned about what

900
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 1: he's doing all day long with his time. You guys

901
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 1: ship to do too, and then when we all come together,

902
00:53:55,560 --> 00:54:02,399
Speaker 1: everything is copasthetic. Right. Um, next thing having parameters around sex,

903
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 1: especially if you want it two. Uh, that one's kind

904
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:12,399
Speaker 1: of sketchy, because what do I mean by parameters around sex?

905
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:16,759
Speaker 1: So it says secould not be a reward and in

906
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: a relationship, this is what the guy says. Um not

907
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 1: saying that if you're not in the mood, it isn't valid.

908
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 1: It is. However, if it's a simple argument or misunderstanding

909
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:30,359
Speaker 1: that you know it's not a deal breaker. Don't lay

910
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 1: on the other side of the bed or in another

911
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 1: room when you know sex is nothing, when you know

912
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 1: that sex has nothing to do with the issue. I

913
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: gotta be happy to have sex. Yeah, I'm gonna want

914
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 1: to have sex with you if I'm manage you know,

915
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 1: I gotta be happy to have sex. Otherwise it feels

916
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 1: like rape. I'm sorry, that's just how I feel. Eventually,

917
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 1: I'm not there, Like my pussy is not gonna work.

918
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 1: It's not gonna work, and I just don't feel comfortable

919
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 1: just doing it because you gonna do You ain't gonna

920
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 1: one none of my pussy if I'm mad, because it's

921
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 1: not gonna be good. Hurry up, hurry up, Lucas, just

922
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:08,439
Speaker 1: looking like that's how I sound. Do that sound good?

923
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 1: You're gonna go down quick? Hurry Just pushing my leg

924
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: over like mad, get out the bed like they still

925
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: they'll still get it though they still take it. That's terrible.

926
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 1: That is terrible. Why would you want it? Hurry y'all?

927
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 1: Pull your dick out. You know my fucking nerves. Here's

928
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 1: a big one, y'all. And this is a lot of

929
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 1: women's issues, not mine because I don't do the social

930
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 1: media ship like that, But letting social media control your

931
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: expectations posting, you gotta post your relationship, you gotta post

932
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 1: every place, y'all go like you're letting social media solidify

933
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,240
Speaker 1: your relationship with your partner. That ship is very dangerous.

934
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that is stupid too. Yeah, so men have

935
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: a problem with that. Um, this guy says, I hate

936
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,879
Speaker 1: the constant need to be seen and trying to live

937
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 1: up to celebrity relationships instead of building one. I understand

938
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 1: that everyone wants to be noticed, but I feel as

939
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 1: though women have taken that to another level with social

940
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: media being your biggest influences and my relationships, I never

941
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 1: I've only had like one like public relationship like on

942
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,239
Speaker 1: social Well, I'll say too, but I never initiated like

943
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 1: the posting and stuff like that, Like if they started it,

944
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 1: I might post a picture too. Um. I got off

945
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:25,240
Speaker 1: of social media in two twelve because my ex started

946
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 1: the posting ship right, and then he took all just

947
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: abruptly took all our ship off of his social media.

948
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 1: So I was like, what the funk you got going

949
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 1: on mind? You only had like a couple of ship

950
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 1: posted on mind, So I'm like, what is your Why

951
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: are you deleting memories from your social media? What's up

952
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,839
Speaker 1: with that? Just don't post no more? So mine would

953
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 1: be the exact opposite, would be like we together, but

954
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 1: you only posting pictures of you like we're not together? Yeah,

955
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 1: so why this is my social media about me? That's

956
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 1: what you were saying. I mean, I never got into

957
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 1: that because I don't like people in my business like that.

958
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: That's what I don't like either, Like together, why do it?

959
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 1: Why do everybody need to see it? Right? We're together?

960
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:19,479
Speaker 1: If they see its outside, they see yourseluftside, right, guys?

961
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 1: Was to assume I would be just trying to make

962
00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 1: myself more available to other men because I didn't post

963
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 1: them like that. I feel like they're trying to use

964
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 1: your social media for their promotion, Like I felt like

965
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 1: that in a relationship like, why are you pressing me

966
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 1: to post you on my page? You know what I'm saying.

967
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: You barely have anything of me on your page. That's

968
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:43,439
Speaker 1: in that's a different relationship, but the original one where

969
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 1: there was like a lot of posting and ship like that.

970
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 1: Once he deleted all those pictures off his social media,

971
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:50,960
Speaker 1: and I like, I started deleting pictures off mine and

972
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 1: it should hurt my feeling so bad to delete the pictures.

973
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 1: I just deleted social media, Like, I don't even want

974
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 1: to be on social media. Now you can have it, nigga,

975
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: do what you want to do online. Line, I'm not online,

976
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 1: so you don't gotta worry about me. I'm not posted.

977
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 1: Was gonna be in my wed and dress, right, I

978
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 1: posted today we got married. That's only right. That's only

979
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 1: right because essentially you're single until you get married. Man.

980
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: Anything can happen in between time. Yep. Um. So the

981
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:25,400
Speaker 1: next is dependency without support. This is this is ah,

982
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 1: this is a good one. So this guy says, I

983
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 1: believe my biggest complaint would be dependency displayed by women. Updated. Traditionally,

984
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 1: men assume the role of the provider, although that that

985
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: isn't an issued It becomes one when I become a

986
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 1: sole provider for a relationship only for purposes of living

987
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 1: two expectations of social media. This includes lavish vacations, expensive dinners,

988
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: and other things they like to pose for the world

989
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:54,480
Speaker 1: to enjoy. That end of itself is not a problem. However,

990
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 1: if it's expected for us to live this lifestyle, plan

991
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 1: to support me and see how you can help so

992
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: we can feel like we've arrived together. So that's that

993
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:07,080
Speaker 1: was kind of sad to me. So it says dependency

994
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 1: without support. So now you're dependent on this man to

995
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 1: do all these things. But what are you doing to

996
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: support the relationship? What are you what are you doing

997
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,920
Speaker 1: um to support your goals? Right, everything can't be on

998
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 1: the man. I feel like that could be women, that's fair.

999
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 1: I don't receive that. I don't feel like I go

1000
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 1: into relationships like codependent. Yeah me me, me, me, give me,

1001
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: give me, give me right. But I am that kind

1002
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 1: of way when it comes to affection, Like I'm clingy

1003
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 1: that that run niggas off too, get off me. I

1004
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 1: like intimacy more than sex, like I just want to

1005
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 1: make touch on each other. Let's watch the six nineteen

1006
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 1: Projects Club. It on the couch, you know, Yeah, ain't

1007
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:07,160
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. Ain't nothing wrong with that? Um.

1008
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:13,320
Speaker 1: I guess dating is different for everybody. M is this

1009
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 1: episode is about essentially, it just looks different. It's not

1010
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 1: no one set uh definition of dating. But women, we

1011
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 1: definitely have to start putting the expectation out there before

1012
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 1: having sex if you're actually dating with intent, And we

1013
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 1: didn't even get to that, um, because it's it's about

1014
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:36,479
Speaker 1: knowing yourself first, if you're actually dating with intent, knowing

1015
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:39,440
Speaker 1: what you want, what you want out of out of

1016
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 1: a relationship, with goals, things like that, instead of just

1017
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 1: jumping off a ledge and dating a bunch of niggas

1018
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 1: and and men. Also, if you're dating with intent, you

1019
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,919
Speaker 1: won't be complaining about dates and how much they cost

1020
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: in your budget for him, because you'll have you would

1021
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 1: have selected like one or two women that you don't

1022
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 1: mind being what you're gonna eat anyway, right, And you

1023
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 1: won't feel slighted because I think a lot of times

1024
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 1: often times men feel slighter because they spend so much

1025
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:11,240
Speaker 1: money on a date and the outcome doesn't go exactly

1026
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 1: how they intended. Yeah, because they should get a prostitute

1027
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 1: instead of trying to get regularly. Yes, stop thinking that

1028
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,400
Speaker 1: your girl owe you some cooch, because y'all you took

1029
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 1: you spend a couple of dollars on a date. That's

1030
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: so dumb. Yeah, and that's why they'd be mad instead

1031
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 1: of dating with uh intentions and actually dating people you

1032
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 1: like and who like you and who already want to

1033
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 1: fuck you after the date. Right, you are basically we

1034
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,520
Speaker 1: gotta pay for a dinner with pussy and you're paying

1035
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 1: with money. That's basically what's happening. That's not an even exchange.

1036
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 1: It's just not so you could just get a hole,

1037
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 1: pay her and you don't gotta worry about none of this. Ship.

1038
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:54,800
Speaker 1: But y'all want where do you find holes at now? Though?

1039
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 1: Like what is the form they aline too? What you

1040
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 1: talking about? But I mean, like the type of holes

1041
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:02,640
Speaker 1: that you can just pay to have sex. We had

1042
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 1: one on the show before. Like they are on social media,

1043
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: they are on only fans like it's the same holes.

1044
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 1: Instagram is a whole horrid x. It's somebody out there

1045
01:02:16,480 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 1: that's gonna bust it open. But that's that's not what

1046
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,919
Speaker 1: they want. Men don't like to feel like they're paying

1047
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 1: directly for couci. A lot of them they want to

1048
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,479
Speaker 1: They still want to do it like indirectly, discreetly because

1049
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: they don't want to feel like they have to pay

1050
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: for it. You know, Yeah, they don't want to feel

1051
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 1: like they get like they're tricking. But I mean, essentially

1052
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:37,960
Speaker 1: that's what it is. So the same way I understand

1053
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:41,400
Speaker 1: men men are concerned about their wallet, the same way

1054
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:46,080
Speaker 1: we're concerned about a man taking advantage of us sexually. Right,

1055
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:52,720
Speaker 1: it's understandable, make better choices, make better dating choices, no

1056
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 1: more pussy mismanagement or you know, you could do what

1057
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,080
Speaker 1: you want to do, but you have to understand, like

1058
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 1: the outcome might be a little bit different. If you

1059
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:06,600
Speaker 1: actually want to be in a relationship with a man

1060
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 1: and your goal is to be married, you need to

1061
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 1: state that early and soon. You know, usually on the

1062
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:16,560
Speaker 1: first date, first date, even if you're dating multiple men.

1063
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,120
Speaker 1: First date. You also don't want to come off as

1064
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:25,280
Speaker 1: you can't be concerned about how you look into somebody

1065
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,400
Speaker 1: because the right person is going to receive it. The

1066
01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 1: saint that exactly what you're saying. It It's true, what's thirsty.

1067
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 1: I want to be married in a year. I want

1068
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:34,680
Speaker 1: to be married in two years. How is that thirsty? No,

1069
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 1: not that, but I mean I'm just saying, if you

1070
01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 1: go on and on and on about it, it will

1071
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 1: scare in the golf And nobody's saying on and on

1072
01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 1: and on about it. See. The thing is you've been

1073
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 1: thinking like, no, that's That's what I'm just saying. You're

1074
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 1: thinking like, oh this bitch and agamy like that's how

1075
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 1: you're thinking. Like the right man who's ready for marriage,

1076
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 1: he'll receive it the way you're saying it, not on

1077
01:03:56,440 --> 01:04:00,400
Speaker 1: and on and on. But yeah, that's state you're tensions.

1078
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:03,840
Speaker 1: But don't go crazy with it, That's all I'm saying.

1079
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 1: How does that look going crazy with it? If you

1080
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 1: get in there talking about like you already picked water

1081
01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 1: colors and you know what your winter dress, they're realistic,

1082
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 1: Come on me like that. But just be out here

1083
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 1: like that. I've been wondering. I got a scrap book

1084
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:22,480
Speaker 1: from when I was five. I brought it with me.

1085
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,440
Speaker 1: Do you like these colors? That does not happen in

1086
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 1: real life, But just put your expectations out there so

1087
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 1: there's no confusion, you know what I'm saying, Because girl,

1088
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,320
Speaker 1: it will still be some fucking confusion a man? A

1089
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: man don't know you ready for marriage and still play

1090
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:43,600
Speaker 1: with you? Are you playing with yourself? Well, I ain't

1091
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 1: ready for that, but still dating you knowing that you're

1092
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: not ready. And see, this is why I do reverse

1093
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 1: psychology on them the same way. You can tell me

1094
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 1: what you're not ready for and you continue to work

1095
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:57,200
Speaker 1: with me. Well, I continue to work with you, right,

1096
01:04:57,720 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 1: and I'm telling you this is what I want and

1097
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 1: you continue to funk with me. How is the onus

1098
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:05,680
Speaker 1: only on me at the end of the day. Oh,

1099
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:09,160
Speaker 1: you knew what it was, nigga? So did you? You

1100
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 1: knew what it was? You knew I wanted a baby.

1101
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:14,560
Speaker 1: You knew I wanted a relationship? Why is it only

1102
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 1: on me? Right? Don't let these niggas handle you all, ladies,

1103
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:19,800
Speaker 1: don't do what told you all. I want that. I

1104
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:24,240
Speaker 1: told you I did period, and you stayed right, So

1105
01:05:24,360 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 1: clearly I wanted to, clearly wanted. And you've been coming

1106
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:36,360
Speaker 1: to me so clearly wanted. You're the pappy. You're not

1107
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 1: coming to me though, because I'm using a condom. I'm

1108
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:47,680
Speaker 1: watching my ovulation every time, All right, y'all, I don't know.

1109
01:05:47,760 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 1: I hope this is helpful for dating and summer games.

1110
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:57,200
Speaker 1: I really hope this is helpful. Make better choices, ladies

1111
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 1: and gents, and hopefully we'll have our marriages. A lot

1112
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:04,440
Speaker 1: of breakups during during the pandemic, but maybe people will

1113
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 1: start getting married again. I thought Gucci, Maine and Keisha

1114
01:06:08,080 --> 01:06:12,280
Speaker 1: was gonna like up the marriage rating for black people,

1115
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 1: but it didn't work. I don't think it's gonna work

1116
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:19,560
Speaker 1: like that, not when you still got future doing numbers.

1117
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 1: I'm future at heart a little bit. I'd be giving

1118
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:30,160
Speaker 1: future hard time, but I could be future sometimes. I

1119
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 1: understand now I don't think our future never mind, let's

1120
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:39,600
Speaker 1: just do it. Wait before we go. It is February.

1121
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:43,040
Speaker 1: It is Black History Month. It's Black history all year long,

1122
01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:46,120
Speaker 1: but in the month of February, we love to observe

1123
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 1: and celebrate our black batties who talked back. And for

1124
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:54,960
Speaker 1: this week, I have to start with Diane Nash. Of

1125
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:58,600
Speaker 1: many accomplishments Nash has made in her lifelong commitment to

1126
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 1: civil rights activism, her most famous contributions include her work

1127
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:07,440
Speaker 1: organizing and leading freedom rides and sit ins. Nash, who

1128
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 1: was born in Chicago, got involved with the civil rights

1129
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:14,520
Speaker 1: movement when she enrolled at Fisk University in Nashville, Tennessee,

1130
01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 1: in nineteen fifty nine. In April nineteen sixty she helped

1131
01:07:19,680 --> 01:07:24,800
Speaker 1: found the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committing Nash also coordinated the

1132
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:28,360
Speaker 1: Nashville Student Movement Ride, which was part of the Freedom

1133
01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:32,000
Speaker 1: Rides in nineteen sixty one. Coordinating between her fellow students,

1134
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:35,720
Speaker 1: the media, and the Department of Justice. She engaged in

1135
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:39,640
Speaker 1: sittings herself, even spending time in jail in February nineteen

1136
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 1: sixty one in solidarity with the Little Rock Nine. Now,

1137
01:07:43,200 --> 01:07:45,040
Speaker 1: if you don't know who that is, you need to

1138
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:48,560
Speaker 1: get your ass up in Google is Free. But anyway,

1139
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 1: they're nine students that were imprisoned after a sitting in

1140
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 1: rock Hill, South Carolina. Nash also coordinated the Nashville Student

1141
01:07:58,720 --> 01:08:02,240
Speaker 1: Movement Ride, was part of the Freedom Rides in nineteen

1142
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:06,400
Speaker 1: sixty one. Coordinating between her fellow students, the media, and

1143
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 1: the Department of Justice. She engaged in sentence herself, even

1144
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:13,760
Speaker 1: spending time in jail in February nineteen sixty one in

1145
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 1: solidarity with the rock Hill Nine, nine students that were

1146
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:20,680
Speaker 1: imprisoned after a sitting. Nash also played a crucial role

1147
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:24,920
Speaker 1: in the desegregation campaign in Birmingham in nineteen sixty three.

1148
01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:28,680
Speaker 1: She also received a Rosa Parks Award from the s

1149
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:34,519
Speaker 1: c ELSE along with her husband in nineteen sixty Diane Nash,

1150
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:38,679
Speaker 1: we salute you girl. You are a batty who talks back.

1151
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:42,599
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your contribution. If you enjoyed

1152
01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:45,160
Speaker 1: this episode, please tune in every Thursday on the I

1153
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:47,880
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Apple wherever the fun you get your podcast at.

1154
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 1: This is your co host a J Holiday, y'all. Follow

1155
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:54,080
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. It's AJA holiday to point oh because

1156
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:57,880
Speaker 1: I'm white bitch took my AJ holiday, y'all. I'm official

1157
01:08:57,960 --> 01:09:00,400
Speaker 1: tam Bam on Instagram, y'all for all of me. I

1158
01:09:00,479 --> 01:09:02,720
Speaker 1: love y'all. Thank you apportuning in and we will see

1159
01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 1: you next week. God willing. Remember to speak now and

1160
01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 1: never hold your peace doing yah