Speaker 1: When they say the holiday season, I think we all
Speaker 1: think that it starts with Thanksgiving. The holiday season starts
Speaker 1: with Halloween. And let me explain why. Because the pumpkins
Speaker 1: are out and so you kind of can markt the
Speaker 1: you can kind of market the pumpkins to move into Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: Like I still have some pumpkin to core upstairs, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, yeah, people eat pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: Like we can leave. It can't be like ghosty or
Speaker 1: like scary or witchy. That's Halloween. But like just the
Speaker 1: autumnal pumpkin things, you can mark it. So when you're
Speaker 1: buying Halloween to Cord, just do me a favor. Don't
Speaker 1: buy the ghosts and the witches. They don't last. Just
Speaker 1: buy the pumpkin stuff because it can last. A pumpkin
Speaker 1: patch can last to Thanksgiving, so like that's something that
Speaker 1: can last. But what does happen is once Halloween happens
Speaker 1: and you start taking out decorations and putting away costumes
Speaker 1: and getting sort of sordid and like that, then you
Speaker 1: have to start thinking about Christmas. Thanksgiving is the middle
Speaker 1: child because you have to start thinking about Christmas. Because
Speaker 1: here's why. Once it's November, which is the day after Halloween,
Speaker 1: I get going with the presents. Halloween. I was with Laney,
Speaker 1: who works with me, and we went through all the
Speaker 1: gifts because once then it's my birthday November, and then
Speaker 1: everybody's getting organized for Thanksgiving. What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1: What do you cook you for Thanksgiving? Where are you
Speaker 1: going for Thanksgiving? When are you taking the kids out
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving? How long is their break for Thanksgiving? What
Speaker 1: about the travel? What about the booking? What about the tickets?
Speaker 1: What about the busiest travel day you're what about the traffic?
Speaker 1: You're in full Thanksgiving mode. So now you're fucked because
Speaker 1: the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday. Then you're in
Speaker 1: like mass present by Like you can't be basic like that,
Speaker 1: so really effectively, the minute that Halloween is over, you're
Speaker 1: in full Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, Christmas present shopping
Speaker 1: and so Halloween I had the presence locked. I seemed insane.
Speaker 1: I don't care. So yesterday lady and I dipped back
Speaker 1: in because we allocated gifts. But like, you can't get
Speaker 1: fucked on the wrapping either. You don't want to leave
Speaker 1: the wrapping until after Thanksgiving either, because then you're scrambling,
Speaker 1: you're buying, you're wrapping, you're planning for your Christmas break.
Speaker 1: When does that start? Some kids start early, so you
Speaker 1: get caught in the riptide. So what we did is
Speaker 1: November fourteenth, we started the wrapping. I do like probably
Speaker 1: two two fifty gifts. I know, it's insane that counts.
Speaker 1: That includes like bottles of wine and nice gift bags
Speaker 1: and hangtags, et cetera. So we wrapped probably one hundred
Speaker 1: gifts yesterday, which is for other people clustered together, gifts
Speaker 1: that can be shipped to the same place, like an
Speaker 1: office that has three people that I'm sending gifts, so
Speaker 1: like those are clustered together and can be shipped. So
Speaker 1: we're now already boxing up things to be shipped, so
Speaker 1: they're just like labeled, and we can't mail them now
Speaker 1: because otherwise I'll be known as the psychotic person that
Speaker 1: mails Christmas gifts in November. So the second the clock
Speaker 1: strikes December, that's when we ship them out because you're
Speaker 1: not in full like panic shipping mode. So then next
Speaker 1: week we'll probably start. Then you're wrapping the gifts for
Speaker 1: people closest to you. Because what happens is I have
Speaker 1: the pall gifts, the bring gifts the people that work
Speaker 1: with me, and those become last minute gifts and then
Speaker 1: you're scrambling two days before. So I'm just saying, be
Speaker 1: organized about it. I have my gift wrapping room, or
Speaker 1: have a closet. I used to have just a closet.
Speaker 1: I used to have just a cabinet. It went from
Speaker 1: a cabinet to a closet to a room. So I
Speaker 1: have a cabinet that has gifts that I buy all
Speaker 1: year round. I'll buy something it's on sale. I'll buy
Speaker 1: ten of them, men's doop kits, men's wallet's key chains.
Speaker 1: See something, see something, say something, see something by it,
Speaker 1: see something. It's a good dlc robes. Robes are good candles,
Speaker 1: but I recommend that you buy things that are lightweight
Speaker 1: and small. While it's a great key chains are great.
Speaker 1: Anything that's like a small leather good is good because
Speaker 1: it's not going to take up a lot of space.
Speaker 1: Someone's really like it and you could just put it
Speaker 1: in a closet all year for different holidays, birthdays, Mother's Days, gifts,
Speaker 1: Father's Days, whatever. Yes, I'm crazy about Christmas and I
Speaker 1: love it and I like to give way more than
Speaker 1: to receive. I'm the person when someone says what do
Speaker 1: you want and I say I don't need anything or
Speaker 1: want anything. I really mean it, Like I really mean
Speaker 1: that I don't need anything and don't want anything. I
Speaker 1: don't know if most people mean that. I don't think
Speaker 1: they do, but I really really mean it. I don't
Speaker 1: want anything. I want it out. But I love to
Speaker 1: give gifts. I like make excuses. Oh, that person is
Speaker 1: nice to me. They're outside, Okay, they drove in the
Speaker 1: driveway from DHL. Let's give him a gift. I'm like
Speaker 1: the Oprah of small gifts. Brenda doesn't listen to my podcast,
Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna say, are we still doing Santa
Speaker 1: Gifts this year? I still believe in Santa Claus, so
Speaker 1: I certainly hope she does. I have Santa mailbox and
Speaker 1: she sent him letters. So I have a kid who's
Speaker 1: very young. What's fri Because I was going to nightclubs
Speaker 1: at her age and she still believes in Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: So I'm doing something right. Went with Brinn on a
Speaker 1: beach walk, took her for the weekend to La friends.
Speaker 1: Friend had a charity event with Adam Sandler, David Spade,
Speaker 1: Rob Schneider comedy concert for a great cause, Malibu Urgent Care,
Speaker 1: as Rob Schneider said at the beginning of his act,
Speaker 1: because rich people definitely need good health care too, which
Speaker 1: is hilarious. But it is actually a really, really nice clinic.
Speaker 1: And it was a really nice group of people. And
Speaker 1: it was a small, intimate event in Malibu, which reminds
Speaker 1: me of Montalk vibes. The way people dress with the
Speaker 1: hats and their casual and like the you know, it
Speaker 1: was an expensive charity event, and there were like buckets
Speaker 1: of just like beverages. You could just grab your own out,
Speaker 1: you know, if you wanted a water or soda, and
Speaker 1: like there was donated food from Nobu and different burgers.
Speaker 1: But it had a casual vibe. And my friend called me.
Speaker 1: His name is Mark Gervitz. He represents a lot of
Speaker 1: comedians over the years, like legendary comedians, like he represented
Speaker 1: Chris Farley, and he works with David Spade and all
Speaker 1: the big big names. And so Adam Sandler and David
Speaker 1: Spade and Rob Schneider were doing comedy acts that night
Speaker 1: at his house for this charity. And I had called
Speaker 1: Mark and said listen. My daughter is so obsessed with
Speaker 1: Adam Sandler, like she has seen each of his thirty
Speaker 1: something movies. I didn't know he had thirty something movies.
Speaker 1: Multiple times. He is her number one. I mean, put
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift to the side, anyone to the side, justin Bieber.
Speaker 1: Adam Sandler is her number one. Goat Okay. So I
Speaker 1: said to him if he ever does anything, and he said, well,
Speaker 1: you know, because of the strike, he's not doing anything.
Speaker 1: And then one day he said, all right, this is
Speaker 1: the time I'm doing something in my house. And she
Speaker 1: and I were gonna go on vacation and I was like,
Speaker 1: fuck it, we're canceling a vacation. We're going for a
Speaker 1: girl strip for the weekend and we're gonna see Adam
Speaker 1: Sandler perform. And we get an email saying nobody under
Speaker 1: eighteen because the act is definitely not for kids. And
Speaker 1: Mark's like, it's at my house, will jam it through.
Speaker 1: We go to the house. Mark's lovely. His wife is
Speaker 1: Juliane Phillips. She is wonderful and beautiful and so nice
Speaker 1: and they have a gorgeous home. And just incidentally, she
Speaker 1: used to be married to Bruce Springsteen, which is not
Speaker 1: her identity. I'm just saying I've always known that she's stunning.
Speaker 1: And Mark has us into his home and he says,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get I'll try. I'm gonna try to get
Speaker 1: Adam to say hello to her. So the whole night
Speaker 1: I'm on edge. I said to Brin, there's nothing I
Speaker 1: can guarantee we're gonna see this show, and it's gonna
Speaker 1: be an amazing experience to begin with that nobody gets
Speaker 1: to do in the world. But I'll do what I can.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not a wizard. I cannot promise the
Speaker 1: actions of someone else. I can try. So great group
Speaker 1: of people, interesting people like power people too, like Hi's
Speaker 1: and Low's local Malibu, and then you know Ted Sarandos,
Speaker 1: who runs Netflix is there and I think he's good
Speaker 1: friends with Thatam. And Jack Abernathy who helps get my
Speaker 1: podc my talk show done from Fox, and just like
Speaker 1: Pierce Brasnan's there. But then local vendors and all this
Speaker 1: crazy stuff. And they have this big gorgeous floral cake
Speaker 1: and his flowers all over it and a Barbie coming
Speaker 1: in out of it, and this is a cake business.
Speaker 1: And we put our ticket in a Raffle Bowl and
Speaker 1: we won the goddamn cake, this gorgeous cake. Like that's
Speaker 1: a side story. So we're having a great night. We
Speaker 1: got there way too early, but it was fine, and
Speaker 1: everyone performs. And first it's Rob Schneider. Love that guy.
Speaker 1: He was probably wins like nicest, most gracious of anyone
Speaker 1: of the whole entire night, like back on my podcast.
Speaker 1: Not an asshole like Rob Schneider. Lovely the way he
Speaker 1: engaged my daughter and like took the time and he
Speaker 1: was so sweet. He was wonderful. Then David Spade, who
Speaker 1: I was just on a TV show with Snake Oil,
Speaker 1: who is in Britain's number one favorite movie, The Wrong Missy,
Speaker 1: So let's not let's not put that to the side.
Speaker 1: Jonathan Loweryn was there, who's in Adam Sandler's movies, And
Speaker 1: I like that he puts his friends and family in
Speaker 1: his movies. I think that's a nice touch. You see
Speaker 1: the same characters in all of his movies. He was
Speaker 1: lovely to my daughter too, and of course Adam Sandler.
Speaker 1: So we're sitting watching the leading acts and Brynn keeps
Speaker 1: Brynn's obsessed, She's hyper focused on behind us. Two hundred
Speaker 1: people at this event that Adam Sandler's on the porch
Speaker 1: and we're we paid all this money for the front
Speaker 1: row tickets went effectively if you paid the lower amount,
Speaker 1: we would have been back sitting on the stairs. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of where Adam is just in his Hawaiian shirt,
Speaker 1: wearing whatever he wants, just fucking around until he us
Speaker 1: to go on. She's like, let's go back, so we're
Speaker 1: on the stairs. And there have been times that Brynn
Speaker 1: has wanted to meet somebody, like on the beach when
Speaker 1: she doesn't have friends, or she's younger, and I've been like,
Speaker 1: go up to that kid, and she won't no, no, no, please,
Speaker 1: no no, and she gets scared, which is understandable because
Speaker 1: at the time she's twelve and I can't do it
Speaker 1: for her. And I'm like, I'll go up. She's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. So I'm like, okay, brend there's nothing I
Speaker 1: can do. You're gonna lose the moment. And the truth is,
Speaker 1: in moment you have nothing ventured, nothing game gained. Say
Speaker 1: you walk up to the ground, she is You're disgusting,
Speaker 1: You're ugly. I don't want to be friends with you.
Speaker 1: That's the worst that can happen, which is not gonna happen,
Speaker 1: but the or you're just embarrassed of yourself because she
Speaker 1: ignores you and you never have to see her again.
Speaker 1: So we're on the stairs and Adam Sandler is out
Speaker 1: on the steps on this like porch, and there's another
Speaker 1: room inside the house that has a curtain there and
Speaker 1: he can go there because that's like what the makeshift
Speaker 1: backstage green room they made for him. So I'm standing there,
Speaker 1: and I'm standing there with her, and I'm embarrassed because
Speaker 1: you know when you're like that lingering weirdo fan. So
Speaker 1: it's literally Adam Sandler, Ted Sarandos who runs Netflix. You'd
Speaker 1: have to look it up, but I think it's like
Speaker 1: one hundred and seventy hundred and sixty billion dollar company
Speaker 1: like that moves markets, that's on the stock market. It's
Speaker 1: a public company like the top ten, like Apple, Netflix, like.
Speaker 1: So he's standing there. I think he said he was
Speaker 1: really good friends with either David Spade or Adam Sandler.
Speaker 1: So Ted's like casual on the stairs. I've talked to him.
Speaker 1: So now I'm like embarrassed because I'm standing on this
Speaker 1: and I'm like a lingering loser, like that person who's
Speaker 1: like waiting to get a picture. It's not for me.
Speaker 1: I would never do it. It is cringe what you
Speaker 1: won't do for your fucking kids. I would take my
Speaker 1: pants off at this party for my child. Like so
Speaker 1: we're lingering, and I'm like brin, and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: am I gonna hay Adam, I'm Bethany. I was on
Speaker 1: snake All with David Spade. I'm a dalss reality star.
Speaker 1: That's like sort of bless because I have a successful
Speaker 1: podcast and like my I was on the cover of
Speaker 1: Forbes magazine, but you still haven't heard of me because
Speaker 1: you probably don't see anything out of the inside of
Speaker 1: your own house or your comedian friends. And I'm such
Speaker 1: a fucking loser drowning myself. Like so, I just don't
Speaker 1: know what to do, and I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do that. I just don't want to fucking do it.
Speaker 1: But now I'm lingering because I'm not gonna make Brynn
Speaker 1: who's thirteen, stand on a porch by heers. No, I
Speaker 1: say what you say with me saying I'm like great
Speaker 1: me standing with you is like it's cringe to these people.
Speaker 1: I'm that loser, like Pierce bras And is here. I'm
Speaker 1: that loser on the steps so like and peers can
Speaker 1: walk up and just linger around. They're like a different
Speaker 1: level and fucking Ted Sarandas is like moving oceans and entertainment.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm in that purgatory between like
Speaker 1: general population person who can go up to someone and
Speaker 1: say can I get a picture? And like they don't.
Speaker 1: They shouldn't be embarrassed. They don't talk to these people.
Speaker 1: And there really aren't that many general population people here,
Speaker 1: but there are many, like you know, an executive somewhere
Speaker 1: to studio can walk up Adam Sandler doesn't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: But I'm there, and I'm like semi someone. So I'm
Speaker 1: like embarrassed in front of the people that I do know.
Speaker 1: And the guy who runs the house that like he
Speaker 1: said to me earlier like I will try if I can.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm such a fucking loser. Oh Brenda,
Speaker 1: you don't know because she doesn't know, mom, please cause
Speaker 1: she thinks I'm a loser, like a total loser. So like,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't I go walk up to Adam Sandler and
Speaker 1: So I'm in the middle of now and I'm standing
Speaker 1: there and I say, Bren, you can get away with anything.
Speaker 1: You're thirteen, you're cute, You're a door will just go up.
Speaker 1: And I gave her a script before we've came. I
Speaker 1: said to her, have something to fucking say. Don't stand
Speaker 1: they're like I love yeah, like I was like, say
Speaker 1: to him, I like, because she does like this, She's
Speaker 1: commented on this. So I wrote her script. But it's
Speaker 1: her script. I said, say to him, I like that
Speaker 1: you have your kid. I like that you have your
Speaker 1: family and friends and your movies. So I say, Brinn,
Speaker 1: and so she So he walks into the back stage room.
Speaker 1: I'm scared, I go, Brin, if it doesn't happen, this
Speaker 1: will be the greatest lesson of your life. He walked
Speaker 1: back in. The next thing, he may walk out and
Speaker 1: just walk straight on stage. You're not gonna interrupt him
Speaker 1: en route to go do his act. So I'm like nervous,
Speaker 1: So I go, let me tell you something. The next
Speaker 1: time he walks like, you gotta land you gotta stick
Speaker 1: the landing. Stick the goddamn landing. You never get the
Speaker 1: second chance. You don't know you had to so thank god.
Speaker 1: He comes back up. He's standing there lingering again around
Speaker 1: Ted Sorrandos, and I'm like the loser in the background
Speaker 1: with my crossbody fucking cell phone in addition to my
Speaker 1: cute outfit in purse. But I've got a cross body
Speaker 1: cell phone. I look like my publicist on the red
Speaker 1: carpet hole, Like who needs it for actual function? I'm
Speaker 1: standing there like a loser. So he comes back out
Speaker 1: and I'm like, go and so she walks. She walks
Speaker 1: up to him, which is three feet from me, and
Speaker 1: she goes says whatever, and he goes, oh, thank you.
Speaker 1: I like that too. So then I like want my
Speaker 1: moment just to connect. And I'm like, oh, I heard
Speaker 1: you move to Boga. Why didn't I say, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm friendly with David Spade. So Brin stuck the landing,
Speaker 1: I shit the bed, and then later before we left,
Speaker 1: like we were already there. So at the end of
Speaker 1: the at the concert, Mark I fucked up because Mark
Speaker 1: Gervitz said come back here, I'll let you know, come
Speaker 1: back and this is like where the green room backstage
Speaker 1: was in his house. But imagine we go back and
Speaker 1: like Adam's like, yeah, I know, we did this. So
Speaker 1: I fucked up because I should just be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm dumb. I don't know who Adam Samler was. Yes,
Speaker 1: take us both back, we'll go meet him. Who is he?
Speaker 1: Because Brent would have gotten too double dip. I would
Speaker 1: have been embarrassed, but I was already fucking the loser,
Speaker 1: so I would have gone backstage and then we would
Speaker 1: have been Then the wife probably knows me, and she
Speaker 1: would have been nicer than Adam is. Adam is fine.
Speaker 1: He was totally nice, but like maybe the wife somebody
Speaker 1: the daughter is on TikTok, like I had a better
Speaker 1: shot at the apple. So I fucked up again because
Speaker 1: I'm too moral, and I said to Mark, no, we
Speaker 1: already met him. You're fucking loser, Bethany Frankel, go backstage.
Speaker 1: Who cares? Mark Gourvitz knows, you're already shameless. We'd gotten
Speaker 1: another goddamn bite. So we didn't get that bite, so
Speaker 1: we became gen pop again. Now it's the end of
Speaker 1: the thing and I'm sitting on the stairs. Everyone's leaving
Speaker 1: and going out to like where the valet is, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to wait for an hour. So I
Speaker 1: know Mark, so I don't feel embarrasses it with our
Speaker 1: gigantic cake that I'm carrying in a box, I think,
Speaker 1: like twelve to fifteen person birthday cake in a giant
Speaker 1: cake box looks like the size of a dollhouse. And
Speaker 1: I'm carrying around with my crossbody phone. What a loser.
Speaker 1: I can never be at the level, no matter how
Speaker 1: a big time I become, no matter how many millions
Speaker 1: of downloads we get a month, I'm still such a
Speaker 1: fucking loser. And I'm sitting on the stairs and I
Speaker 1: am a thirteen year old mom. I want her to
Speaker 1: get another bite. I fucked up the marker of its bite.
Speaker 1: She gets to meet the all, you know. That's when
Speaker 1: she met Rob Schneider. Leaving she gets her pictures, you know,
Speaker 1: collecting the pictures like baseball cards. I have now like
Speaker 1: five pictures of her with them. She can do a slider.
Speaker 1: The possibilities are endless. It was an amazing night. I'm
Speaker 1: a horror show horrific, but I don't know. We fucked
Speaker 1: it good. But she got what she needed to get,
Speaker 1: so she had a great time. And then during the
Speaker 1: day we were walking, I took her to Paradise Cove
Speaker 1: and we were walking in the beach looking at these spectacular
Speaker 1: fifty million dollar houses two hundred million dollar beach where
Speaker 1: Jay Z and Beyonce are and we're coming off the
Speaker 1: beach and someone screams like, oh hey, and I look
Speaker 1: over and it's so sunny, I can't really see. It's
Speaker 1: just a man on a kayak, and so I say hi.
Speaker 1: He looks super handsome from like the neck down. I
Speaker 1: can't see his face, but I heard the voice and
Speaker 1: I took a shot, and I thought, there's no fucking way.
Speaker 1: Then in Malibu, I'm about to say hello to a
Speaker 1: legend in Malibu, like seeing someone in their own habitat,
Speaker 1: like going and just like I don't know, just seeing
Speaker 1: like the quintessential example of someone in their own habitat.
Speaker 1: And it's Lard Hamilton like on a kayak type thing,
Speaker 1: like some advanced kayak shirtless in Malibu. I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is fucking crazy, Like you don't what's going on. So
Speaker 1: I say hi to him, and again back for the
Speaker 1: thirteen year old where he says hi, and I say hi,
Speaker 1: and I say, oh, I know Gabrielle, she was on
Speaker 1: my podcast. And then he's coming out in the parking
Speaker 1: lot of shirtless in his pickup truck, and he's like, oh, hey,
Speaker 1: what was your name again? I want to tell Gabrielle
Speaker 1: and I you know, Mickey Mouse, but it doesn't matter. Hey,
Speaker 1: could I get a picture with Bryn loser? Things I
Speaker 1: never do, things I would never do, And I'm just like,
Speaker 1: fuck it gets out of the truck. I'm like, you
Speaker 1: don't have to get out of the truck with your
Speaker 1: shirtless and it's great anyway, yay, And so I take
Speaker 1: a picture of Brynn with Lard Hamilton, the Malibu and
Speaker 1: Hawaii Maui legend. But by the way, we've done a
Speaker 1: lot of millions of dollars for Maui. So if he knew,
Speaker 1: why the fuck didn't I say that I've I'm like
Speaker 1: the choke master, Oh yeah, we did, like yeah, but
Speaker 1: I said other shit, and so we stuck. We didn't
Speaker 1: stick that landing. But I got a picture with Lard
Speaker 1: for Bryn too,