WEBVTT - Ep. 11 — Seeking older women (not in a weird way) 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:18.080 Hey, hey, hey, Mandy's trying to take my hey hey, 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:19.360 hey all isn't that great though? 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:21.520 Look she's on board. I feel like we both own 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:24.479 co owned the hey hey hey, oh really, or maybe 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.080 fat Albert does. Since technically we stole it, you stole 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.000 it from there? Why did steal it with fad Albert? 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:32.239 Since that Bower is a fictional character, it's true, he 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:36.040 merely he just influenced my hay hay head. No, you 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:39.040 know who influenced it, Dwayne from What's Happening? 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:43.800 Oh okay, yeah, legit, thanks Dwayne. Hey guys, it's episode eleven, 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:46.080 and we have some big news. This is a very 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:50.720 same week last week, Brown Ambition, our little podcast that could, 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:54.560 made it to the iTunes New and Noteworthy page, which 0:00:54.680 --> 0:01:00.160 is major, major Maja like Victoria Beckham major. This the 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.560 big deal. It means that you guys have been downloading, 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:06.320 you've been subscribing, you've been leaving reviews, but do not 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:09.440 stop now. Yes, we need to keep this momentum going. 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:13.440 We want everyone to know about Brown Ambition, so leave 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:17.600 us some reviews. We gave a great giveaway last episode 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:22.280 to little miss LaToya. She contacted us. Yes, LaToya LaToya 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:25.360 it's the gift will be on its way soon and 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:28.880 we maybe will host another iTunes giveaway. But don't let 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:30.119 that stop you've leaving a review. 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:32.840 Yes please do, because honestly, we were just like all 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:33.319 geeked up. 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:34.160 I don't know if you saw it. 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.280 We were posting me and Mandy all over our personal 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:41.000 social media pages like wooo, we're famous now. 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.680 It's exciting. It means more people can find us exactly. 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:55.640 Thank you, Brad. The love so buzzworthy. The first thing 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:58.640 I wanted to start with this week since it was Halloween. 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:01.760 Did you see Viola Davis daughter? She dressed up? 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:04.960 How cute she dressed up? She said, Mommy, I don't 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:07.760 want to be Elsa. I don't want to be batwoman 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:09.359 or whatever the other choices were. 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:12.000 I want to be you. That's so sweet. It is 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:14.079 so sweet. And she was brained. She gave her like 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.799 a little fro like her basically her Emmy speech outfit. 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:21.200 So Minica, Supergirl, my Superman, my boo. His daughter. 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:24.559 He has a nine year old daughter. She was a 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:29.000 dead prom queen. Okay, yeah it was, I said, okay, 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:31.480 I just can't she died. I'm not sure, but she 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:34.320 was wearing you know, the gray cast face and the 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:36.960 you know gray in her hair. And I think her 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.760 father loves zombie shows, so I think it was a 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:40.560 nod to. 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:42.280 His love of zombie show. Did you take her trick 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:44.519 or treating? No, but her mom did. She was super cute. 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:46.359 She's not even a candy girl. Oh great, so mom 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:48.600 got that duty. Yeah, like nice one. I literally I 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.480 stayed home. I did not leave the house. I ate 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:54.480 some candy. I showed up to write aid Sunday morning 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:58.080 in an emotional state, and you know how like all 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:01.040 the Halloween candies like so I was like, I will 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:03.160 take that one and that one and that one. I'm 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:03.760 not gonna lie. 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.399 When she was downstairs, I snuck upstairs and I saw 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:09.440 her bag on the bed, and I said, I'm. 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:12.160 Just gonna take all. I did all of it, but 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:15.160 I had all the chocolate. I feel that's like the mommy, 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.320 like the stepmommy share. I know, in your official step 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:18.959 mom but you know what I mean, Yes, no, it's 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.679 I mean literally I ate all of the chocolate. She 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:23.280 didn't even notice the texts. Yeah. 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:24.400 I was just like, you know, I want to make 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:26.880 sure it's not poison. I would rather take the poison 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:27.600 and ingested. 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.640 That's true. Some kids found needles in their snickers, like 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.000 that actually happened. I remember when I was a kid. 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:35.800 It was like people found razor blades. Someone stuck like 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:39.320 sewey needles into Snickers like mint fun sized candy bars 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.800 here in New York, at both places, I can't trust anybody. 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:45.320 My kids are not going to go trigger to you. No. 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:48.760 I stayed my butt at home and did nothing. So 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:52.600 Happy Halloween all you, all you fools, and that black face, 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:55.240 we saw you, and that's why you got dragged. Our message. 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:58.680 Our message did not reach everyone in America. There were 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:00.880 a couple of black faces out there, yeah, but then 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:03.960 a couple of like I saw this really hilarious. So 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.560 apparently coming to America was like the thing for Halloween. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:10.000 Beyonce and jay Z were coming to America. Yeah, and 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:11.640 but there was this whole like I don't know if 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.080 they were a family, but it was like ten white people, 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.840 like they were all different cast members, no black face, 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.440 they just were the outfits. Go figure, and you could 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.520 tell everyone got it. Yes, here was. 0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:23.640 Another little boy I was talking to you about earlier, 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:25.479 who dressed them as Malcolm Max, who was a little 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:29.239 white boy. Heah, the glasses, the suit, no black face, 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:30.640 and I just thought that was so c you. 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:33.039 Know who he was, Yes, he chose I would be 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.360 Malcolm Max. And I said, well, okay, look at that. 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:41.280 Good for him, good for those parents. Okay, what else 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:45.400 is buzzing? I saw this article and my favorite magazine ever, 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.279 the only magazine I actually subscribe to, New York Magazine, Okay, 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.440 and it talked about how we need more older women 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.400 in the office, yes, and in just in careers in general. 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:56.440 And I was thinking, like, as I was sitting there, 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:58.679 I'm like, let me think of older and I'm thinking 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.880 older is like past fifty, maybe past forty, although that's 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:04.760 not so old. Yeah, please don't. And there aren't any 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:09.320 in my where I work, Like in my area, No, 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:11.840 there's no older women. And I'm like trying to I'm 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.000 even trying to think back to my last couple of jobs. 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.080 Definitely when I was in my life. I worked at 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:19.120 a startup, my last job, and it was all twenty somethings, 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.240 like someone had a baby right when I quit, and 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:23.320 they were like, oh my god, the first baby. We're 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:26.200 all kind of growing up. And the point that the 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:29.440 writer makes is the fact that women, young women especially 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:33.320 need to see examples of what it looks like to 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.599 juggle a career and if you have a family, a family, 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.320 and when you're in your forties and fifties, and you know, 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:41.000 not to be sexist, but you know, I think it's 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:43.360 helpful and beneficial for a young person to be able 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:46.040 to look to an example of like, oh, she is 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.920 doing She's leaving at six pm every day, no matter what, 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.400 she's setting aside her priorities, and she's still getting shit 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:52.560 done around the office. Exactly. 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:54.360 It was two I think with a teacher, because I 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.960 was really fortunate in that I've had older women around me. 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.400 I was a school teacher, so you know, it's nothing 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:02.880 but women for the most part, and so had I 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:05.240 used to get such great advice from the older women, 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:07.760 and most of them had kids, so they would just 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.279 give me good advice about, you know, doing what I 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:13.120 wanted to do now before the kids came. I remember 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:16.719 one woman in particular, she changed the trajectory of my career. 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:19.000 I was, I don't think like nineteen or twenty. I 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:22.680 was working or I had an internship at this corporate office, 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.840 and I remember trying to decide whether or not. I 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:26.520 just stay with them, even though I didn't like the job, 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:28.360 but they were offering me a lot of money after college, 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:31.120 like fifty thousand dollars a year, which is huge money 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:33.560 for a nineteen twenty year old. And then but I 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:37.159 really wanted to teach, so I was kind of juggling, like, oh, teach, 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:41.200 make thirty something, corporate place, make fifty something. And she 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:43.000 pulled me into the office and said, I heard they 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.919 made you an offer and I said yeah. She said, 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:49.080 this is a black, older woman, and she said, if 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:51.560 you take that offer, you were be damn fool. 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:52.840 I love that. 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:57.760 Oh why what was her reasoning because quite honestly, she said, 0:06:57.800 --> 0:06:59.120 she said, take a look around you. 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:02.039 Do you see how they treat because it really was 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:05.840 not the best place to work for personal color. I 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.880 will say that like everyone of color seems to be demoded, 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:12.400 there was really there just was nobody in like higher 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:13.680 positions for people of color. 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.120 It just was not like the best place. And I 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:17.520 knew that. 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:19.560 My energy, my spirit everything said this is not a 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:20.480 good place for you, Tiffany. 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:22.640 But I was just thinking, Oh, the money's good. Yeah, 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:24.080 And so they have that perspective. 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:25.840 MM hm, and so she's like, I've been here long 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:27.920 enough to know, and I was just so glad I 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:29.880 listened to her. I instead went on to teach, and 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:32.320 then teaching led to me being the budgetista, led to 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:33.720 me to being on broad ambition. 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:35.680 So here we are. You know, we're going to talk 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.240 about mentors later in the show and how to how 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.200 to find a mentor the right way. Yes, but I 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:43.960 think this kind of ties into why for now in 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:45.520 the past, I don't know. It seems like in the 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:47.760 past few years, mentorship has become so huge, and I 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:50.880 feel like women especially are so hungry for mentors because 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:54.000 we don't have like like this article points out, like 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.840 an older stage wise woman in the office, and not 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.400 just like we need to have just one, you know, 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.960 we need men like multiple, Like we need women who 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.080 maybe aren't, you know, work all the time and chose 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:07.560 not to have kids, women who have kids and work 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.800 some of the times, like different examples, women who when 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:12.040 I'm attorney leave and came back and some who didn't 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.320 come back and maybe they're working you know, remotely some 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.160 days of the week. We need very like diverse examples 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:19.440 of what it's like to be older as a woman. 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:22.920 Yeah, It's true. I always have questions. I'm always like, well, 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:24.320 so what does this look like? 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:25.800 But what if I make this choice? So what if 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:26.360 you know? 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.040 Because even I mean now with growing my own business, 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:33.120 entrepreneurship and relationships, sometimes I just want like a romantic 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:35.640 relationship mentor like, well, how are you managing with your husband? 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:37.240 Because you travel a lot and I travel a lot, 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.280 So how does that look like? You know, how do 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:41.240 you know if I have a kid? What happens to that? Like? 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.000 Are your kids mad that you're always on a plane? 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:43.240 You know? 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:49.079 And so it's like I've got questions and no answers. Yeah, 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:50.679 so how do we fix this? How do you get 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:52.920 more women to stay around? I mean, part of the 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:57.160 problem is the fact that women, you know, tend to 0:08:57.200 --> 0:08:59.920 not get promoted as readily as men. And then also 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.520 just realistically, a lot of women, not a lot of me. 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:04.800 I don't know the exact statistic, but you have to 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.319 factor in the fact that some women scale back as 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:09.480 they go through their career, and they you know, scale 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:11.840 back for legitimate reasons because they you know, it's a 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:14.800 lot if you choose to have kids to juggle that 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:16.920 and do a good job and then also kick ass 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:18.960 and be promoted, like maybe you don't want to be 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.000 the boss having to work twenty four to seven, be 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:24.120 on email all the time when you have kids at home, 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.440 like and no one can fault them for that. And 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:28.480 that's why again, I feel like we need diverse examples 0:09:28.480 --> 0:09:30.720 like women who choose that path and women who choose 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:34.040 other paths. But yeah, so we're going to talk to 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:35.959 you really about how do you find someone to say yes? 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.400 Oh my god, wait for our Oh wait what I say? 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:39.120 No? 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:40.480 How do you like? That's going to be all like 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:42.600 our shit at the end, like, oh yeah, mentors, how 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:44.640 to find a good mentor yeah, how to get someone 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:52.720 to say yes? How do we get other other buzzwords? 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:54.920 These words for today? I have one more I want 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:56.840 to talk about. I love how it's like my job 0:09:56.880 --> 0:10:01.559 to find the buzzword. My brown break is when Tiffany 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:03.480 shows up and has no ideas for what we're going 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:07.480 to talk about. It's been a hard week. Listen, I know, 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:10.680 I know, I know, Mandy is I'm gonna make for 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:12.320 every time you go on Instagram, you have to read 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:17.079 one article. You can read some headlines. Okay, that's my 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:22.200 chashamed her that to love you, I couldn't do the 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:23.920 show with that. I was just looking like, Oh, I 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:27.480 hope baby doesn't don't have any I have one more 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.839 I want to talk about. So something that was really 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:32.120 important to me as a person, because I wasn't like, 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.440 I don't feel like I was a mature person. Not 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:36.040 that anyone is when they're eighteen, but when I went 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:39.240 to college, I didn't really have a mature view of 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:42.160 the world. I never knew gay people, I had never 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.680 met anyone really have a different religious faith. In me. 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:46.880 I was just you know, I grew up in the South, 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:49.000 and even though I was open to new experiences and 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.360 so very i think at a young age pretty liberal, 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:55.160 I wasn't didn't have access to very diverse groups of people, 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:57.320 and I was hungry for it. So when I got 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:00.160 to college, everyone's talking about study abroad. You know, are 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:01.600 you going to go you know, oh, going to go 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:04.440 to con for the con festival with my you know, 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:06.400 with my journalism program. Are you going to go to 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.160 Spain for a semester a broad and you know some 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.560 people spent a whole year abroad. And I was like, yes, 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:12.680 absolutely want to do that, and then I looked and 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:15.920 it's like thousands and thousands of dollars, and I shut 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.400 it down immediately. And that's what a lot of people 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:21.239 do if you're from poor backgrounds, which you know, obviously 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.960 a lot of minorities fall into that category. And there's 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.760 this group called the Council on International Educational Exchange and 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.599 they're trying to make it less of a barrier financially 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:33.440 for minorities to study abroad, which I think is so 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:37.839 important for me. The only reason I studied abroad when 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.000 I was eighteen is because I found like a very 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.960 obscure scholarship. It was like I think, and I wrote 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:44.679 an essay and I had to keep emailing them like 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:46.280 did you get my essay? Did you get my essay? 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:49.360 And they gave me two thousand dollars, which was just enough, 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:50.880 and it was like down to the wire. I wanted 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.920 to go to Argentina for the summer, and I got 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.200 this two thousand dollars scholarship which pretty much paid for 0:11:56.240 --> 0:12:00.040 airfare and paid the fees for my homestay. And that 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:01.680 was the only reason I got to go to Argentina. 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:04.200 I mean, I didn't have I certainly couldn't save enough 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.520 working part time while in school my first year to 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:09.720 study abroad, and well. 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.079 That was good, because you're right, I wanted to study 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.280 your broad But I'm like, where, houseway, where's somebody coming from? 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:16.880 Kids take out student loans for this really? Oh yeah, 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:18.560 I've talked and I talked to them. They're like, oh, 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:20.920 I have this much done. I'm like, well, you say, tuition, 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:23.000 you know costs us much a year, but that yet 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.280 you have twice as much. So what's the story. You're like, Oh, yeah, 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:29.360 I studied abroad for two years, and you know, I 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:32.320 think that's stupid to take student loans out for study 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:33.400 abroad at the same time. 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:35.440 But there are programs that are kind of like trying 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:38.120 to Like one of my friends has this organization called 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:40.920 Traveling mad Her name is Madeline and she was born 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:43.400 and raised in Newark Brick City stand up, boo boo 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.000 for those of you familiar with Newark. It's similar to 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.000 like a Compton Detroit, that kind of thing. And you 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:51.080 know here in Madeline was a little brown girl from 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:55.840 Newark and she got her her master's doe I believe 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:57.840 in Paris, and that's where she went to school. And 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.880 so she because she knew she really wanted to you know, 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:03.760 live somewhere else and study abroad. And so now she 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:07.920 started traveling mad to take kids, especially from Newark who've 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.760 never been anywhere, never had had a passport to take 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:14.280 them to other countries for a few weeks. So she 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:18.440 just last year she successfully successfully took between ten and 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:20.240 twenty kids from Newark to London. 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:22.200 I did like an exchange program. 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:23.920 Yeah, it was just so great, and I'm just like, wow, 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:25.640 so these high school kids got to go to London. 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.880 That's important. Yeah, And this is where I was going 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:31.079 with the whole stupid anecdote about my gay high school 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:33.400 boyfriend and like how I wasn't a mature adult, cause 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.320 I feel like it wasn't until I went to Argentina 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.720 when I was eighteen. When I when I lived in 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.520 like a kind of poor neighborhood, and I you know, 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.560 I volunteered at a prison at one point. I didn't 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:44.320 understand all the Spanish, so I didn't know I was 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:47.640 a prison. They were like alcoholics or something. And it 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.040 really like changed my worldview, I mean, and not just 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.640 like little things too. I didn't eat vegetables before I 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:55.280 moved to Argentina, like I didn't like tomatoes. I didn't 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.800 like onions, lettuce, like nothing. I like ate potatoes and corn. Wow. 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:00.280 And then I went to Argentina and you have a 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:03.360 family preparing you a meal for you know, out of 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.520 their own good will and heart. You can't and you 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:07.160 can't not eat it. And then I just, you know, 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.160 my entire, my entire like view of food change and 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.640 now I eat everything, and it's like and it was 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:16.000 just it was a very crucial sort of like nothing 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:18.240 I could have learned in a classroom experience. But sure 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:22.000 travel is critical. Yeah, so yeah, And just so you know, 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:25.640 this group again is called counsel and International Educational Exchange. 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:28.280 They are giving twenty million dollars in scholarships over the 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:31.480 next five years to people of color when you study 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:37.400 abroad and passwords. It is www dot c I EE 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:43.280 dot org c I E E E C E yay. 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.120 And by the way, when I just a real quick 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:48.880 note on traveling, maybe we should bring us up another time. 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:51.640 But like when I graduated college, I turned out a 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:53.520 job and I went to travel for six months. And 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:55.880 when I came back without having any job experience, the 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.160 number one thing people wanted to talk about was that 0:14:58.200 --> 0:14:59.760 trip I went on, Like I put it on my 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:01.640 red that I've been traveling and like, I mean, I 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.640 was working kind of abroad. But it's just it's like 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:08.440 the kind of experience that job, like hiring managers want 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.400 you want to see in someone and like I want 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:12.320 to see Yeah. So I feel like it helped me that. 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:29.040 All Right, blawn break, brown break, bbe do you want 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:31.720 to go first? Yes? Did you come with the brown break? 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:36.600 At least? So my brown break is actually kind of serious. 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:38.760 Y'all know to me to meet it. Y'all know me 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.480 to be a little bit silly, just a little bit, 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:44.000 but honestly, this is a serious one. I want to 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:48.880 take a brown break from victim shaming. So victim shaming 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:53.440 is basically when something happens to someone and instead of saying, hey, 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:58.760 person who attacked said victim, we are instead of going 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.360 to blame the victim and said, well, what could you 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.760 have done differently not to be raked? Or what could 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:06.120 you have done differently not to be persecuted, or what 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.560 could you have done differently not to be you know, 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:12.440 abused or just like attacked. It just seems ridiculous, right, 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:14.920 So you think here, so well, that just seems crazy. 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:17.040 But we do it over and over. Like the young 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:18.760 woman who we all saw. 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.360 I'm sure if you have not seen it, then you 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:23.400 are not on social media, or don't watch the news, 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:26.880 or just don't have TV or live in nineteen eighty five, 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.640 that the young girl who was in middle school, that 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:32.640 middle school, elementary school, No, it. 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:34.360 Was middle school, it was middle school. He was fourteen, 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:34.960 she was fourteen. 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:38.640 Okay, she was in her classroom and I guess she 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:45.200 wasn't participating. The teacher called a security person and he 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:48.200 came to the classroom and you see him, I guess, 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:50.800 speak to her and then you see him like kind 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:52.680 of put her in the headlock and then flip her 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:54.560 chair over and then. 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:56.600 Very disturbing, Yeah, throw her. 0:16:56.760 --> 0:17:01.480 Across the room and then like drag her and then 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:04.040 you see, I guess there's the students describe that he's 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:07.479 now putting her hands behind her back like this is 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:12.199 like literally the girls like hmm, maybe five six, like 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:15.440 one hundred and ten pounds, and this guy's a powerlifter, 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:21.040 like to something three hundred pounds huge, and so many people, 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.720 of course, you know, there's outrage against this huge man 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:27.959 attacking this girl But what really surprised me and disappointed 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:32.000 me were so many people were like, well, these kids today, 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:36.320 they got to learn to respect folks, these kids today, 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:37.240 are you? 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:38.080 Are you kidding me? 0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:40.480 I Like, if you were physically here, and I don't 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:42.439 even get violent, I just would would like to just 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:43.639 mush you in the face. 0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:45.120 What does that even mean? 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.880 Mushy right, like you know, like the old school mush 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:49.399 like you do your little sister when they're all in 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.520 your business, Like just mush you in the face. Because 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:57.239 how foolish do you sound to say that somehow a 0:17:57.280 --> 0:18:02.439 fourteen year old is big enough or intimidating enough to 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:05.320 require a man that is nearly three hundred pounds and 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:08.639 power lifts six hundred pounds, that it would require him 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:12.040 to throw her cross the room, flip her desk over, 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:16.560 and just treat her like a rag doll. And it 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.080 just the fact that the other students didn't seem even 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:22.040 as shocked, because this is some person who was known 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:25.120 for his violence against the students. And then to say, somehow, 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.480 these kids today need to be respectful. Not that it 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:30.320 should matter, but that girl apparently has lost both her 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:33.360 grandmother and her mother in the last year and she 0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:35.879 was not participating because she is in a state of 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:37.800 deep depression, as we all would be, and she's in 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.520 a foster home. Not that that should matter, but cause 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:42.400