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Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, Mandy's trying to take my hey hey,

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Speaker 1: hey all isn't that great though?

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Speaker 2: Look she's on board. I feel like we both own

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Speaker 2: co owned the hey hey hey, oh really, or maybe

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Speaker 2: fat Albert does. Since technically we stole it, you stole

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Speaker 2: it from there? Why did steal it with fad Albert?

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Speaker 1: Since that Bower is a fictional character, it's true, he

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Speaker 1: merely he just influenced my hay hay head. No, you

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Speaker 1: know who influenced it, Dwayne from What's Happening?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, legit, thanks Dwayne. Hey guys, it's episode eleven,

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Speaker 2: and we have some big news. This is a very

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Speaker 2: same week last week, Brown Ambition, our little podcast that could,

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Speaker 2: made it to the iTunes New and Noteworthy page, which

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Speaker 2: is major, major Maja like Victoria Beckham major. This the

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Speaker 2: big deal. It means that you guys have been downloading,

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Speaker 2: you've been subscribing, you've been leaving reviews, but do not

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Speaker 2: stop now. Yes, we need to keep this momentum going.

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Speaker 2: We want everyone to know about Brown Ambition, so leave

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Speaker 2: us some reviews. We gave a great giveaway last episode

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Speaker 2: to little miss LaToya. She contacted us. Yes, LaToya LaToya

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Speaker 2: it's the gift will be on its way soon and

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Speaker 2: we maybe will host another iTunes giveaway. But don't let

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Speaker 2: that stop you've leaving a review.

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Speaker 1: Yes please do, because honestly, we were just like all

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Speaker 1: geeked up.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you saw it.

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Speaker 1: We were posting me and Mandy all over our personal

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Speaker 1: social media pages like wooo, we're famous now.

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Speaker 2: It's exciting. It means more people can find us exactly.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Brad. The love so buzzworthy. The first thing

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Speaker 2: I wanted to start with this week since it was Halloween.

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Speaker 2: Did you see Viola Davis daughter? She dressed up?

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Speaker 1: How cute she dressed up? She said, Mommy, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be Elsa. I don't want to be batwoman

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Speaker 1: or whatever the other choices were.

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Speaker 2: I want to be you. That's so sweet. It is

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Speaker 2: so sweet. And she was brained. She gave her like

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Speaker 2: a little fro like her basically her Emmy speech outfit.

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Speaker 2: So Minica, Supergirl, my Superman, my boo. His daughter.

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Speaker 1: He has a nine year old daughter. She was a

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Speaker 1: dead prom queen. Okay, yeah it was, I said, okay,

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Speaker 1: I just can't she died. I'm not sure, but she

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Speaker 1: was wearing you know, the gray cast face and the

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Speaker 1: you know gray in her hair. And I think her

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Speaker 1: father loves zombie shows, so I think it was a

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Speaker 1: nod to.

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Speaker 2: His love of zombie show. Did you take her trick

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Speaker 2: or treating? No, but her mom did. She was super cute.

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Speaker 2: She's not even a candy girl. Oh great, so mom

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Speaker 2: got that duty. Yeah, like nice one. I literally I

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Speaker 2: stayed home. I did not leave the house. I ate

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Speaker 2: some candy. I showed up to write aid Sunday morning

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Speaker 2: in an emotional state, and you know how like all

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Speaker 2: the Halloween candies like so I was like, I will

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Speaker 2: take that one and that one and that one. I'm

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Speaker 2: not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: When she was downstairs, I snuck upstairs and I saw

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Speaker 1: her bag on the bed, and I said, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Just gonna take all. I did all of it, but

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Speaker 2: I had all the chocolate. I feel that's like the mommy,

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Speaker 2: like the stepmommy share. I know, in your official step

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Speaker 2: mom but you know what I mean, Yes, no, it's

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Speaker 2: I mean literally I ate all of the chocolate. She

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Speaker 2: didn't even notice the texts. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was just like, you know, I want to make

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Speaker 1: sure it's not poison. I would rather take the poison

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Speaker 1: and ingested.

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Speaker 2: That's true. Some kids found needles in their snickers, like

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Speaker 2: that actually happened. I remember when I was a kid.

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Speaker 2: It was like people found razor blades. Someone stuck like

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Speaker 2: sewey needles into Snickers like mint fun sized candy bars

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Speaker 2: here in New York, at both places, I can't trust anybody.

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Speaker 2: My kids are not going to go trigger to you. No.

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Speaker 2: I stayed my butt at home and did nothing. So

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Speaker 2: Happy Halloween all you, all you fools, and that black face,

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Speaker 2: we saw you, and that's why you got dragged. Our message.

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Speaker 2: Our message did not reach everyone in America. There were

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Speaker 2: a couple of black faces out there, yeah, but then

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Speaker 2: a couple of like I saw this really hilarious. So

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Speaker 2: apparently coming to America was like the thing for Halloween.

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Speaker 2: Beyonce and jay Z were coming to America. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: but there was this whole like I don't know if

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Speaker 2: they were a family, but it was like ten white people,

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Speaker 2: like they were all different cast members, no black face,

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Speaker 2: they just were the outfits. Go figure, and you could

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Speaker 2: tell everyone got it. Yes, here was.

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Speaker 1: Another little boy I was talking to you about earlier,

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Speaker 1: who dressed them as Malcolm Max, who was a little

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Speaker 1: white boy. Heah, the glasses, the suit, no black face,

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Speaker 1: and I just thought that was so c you.

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Speaker 2: Know who he was, Yes, he chose I would be

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Speaker 2: Malcolm Max. And I said, well, okay, look at that.

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Speaker 2: Good for him, good for those parents. Okay, what else

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Speaker 2: is buzzing? I saw this article and my favorite magazine ever,

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Speaker 2: the only magazine I actually subscribe to, New York Magazine, Okay,

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Speaker 2: and it talked about how we need more older women

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Speaker 2: in the office, yes, and in just in careers in general.

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Speaker 2: And I was thinking, like, as I was sitting there,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, let me think of older and I'm thinking

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Speaker 2: older is like past fifty, maybe past forty, although that's

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Speaker 2: not so old. Yeah, please don't. And there aren't any

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Speaker 2: in my where I work, Like in my area, No,

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Speaker 2: there's no older women. And I'm like trying to I'm

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Speaker 2: even trying to think back to my last couple of jobs.

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Speaker 2: Definitely when I was in my life. I worked at

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Speaker 2: a startup, my last job, and it was all twenty somethings,

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Speaker 2: like someone had a baby right when I quit, and

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Speaker 2: they were like, oh my god, the first baby. We're

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Speaker 2: all kind of growing up. And the point that the

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Speaker 2: writer makes is the fact that women, young women especially

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Speaker 2: need to see examples of what it looks like to

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Speaker 2: juggle a career and if you have a family, a family,

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Speaker 2: and when you're in your forties and fifties, and you know,

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Speaker 2: not to be sexist, but you know, I think it's

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Speaker 2: helpful and beneficial for a young person to be able

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Speaker 2: to look to an example of like, oh, she is

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Speaker 2: doing She's leaving at six pm every day, no matter what,

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Speaker 2: she's setting aside her priorities, and she's still getting shit

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Speaker 2: done around the office. Exactly.

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Speaker 1: It was two I think with a teacher, because I

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Speaker 1: was really fortunate in that I've had older women around me.

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Speaker 1: I was a school teacher, so you know, it's nothing

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Speaker 1: but women for the most part, and so had I

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Speaker 1: used to get such great advice from the older women,

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Speaker 1: and most of them had kids, so they would just

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Speaker 1: give me good advice about, you know, doing what I

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Speaker 1: wanted to do now before the kids came. I remember

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Speaker 1: one woman in particular, she changed the trajectory of my career.

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Speaker 1: I was, I don't think like nineteen or twenty. I

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Speaker 1: was working or I had an internship at this corporate office,

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Speaker 1: and I remember trying to decide whether or not. I

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Speaker 1: just stay with them, even though I didn't like the job,

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Speaker 1: but they were offering me a lot of money after college,

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Speaker 1: like fifty thousand dollars a year, which is huge money

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Speaker 1: for a nineteen twenty year old. And then but I

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Speaker 1: really wanted to teach, so I was kind of juggling, like, oh, teach,

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Speaker 1: make thirty something, corporate place, make fifty something. And she

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Speaker 1: pulled me into the office and said, I heard they

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Speaker 1: made you an offer and I said yeah. She said,

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Speaker 1: this is a black, older woman, and she said, if

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Speaker 1: you take that offer, you were be damn fool.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Oh why what was her reasoning because quite honestly, she said,

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Speaker 2: she said, take a look around you.

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Speaker 1: Do you see how they treat because it really was

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Speaker 1: not the best place to work for personal color. I

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Speaker 1: will say that like everyone of color seems to be demoded,

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Speaker 1: there was really there just was nobody in like higher

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Speaker 1: positions for people of color.

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Speaker 2: It just was not like the best place. And I

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Speaker 2: knew that.

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Speaker 1: My energy, my spirit everything said this is not a

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Speaker 1: good place for you, Tiffany.

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Speaker 2: But I was just thinking, Oh, the money's good. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And so they have that perspective.

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Speaker 1: MM hm, and so she's like, I've been here long

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Speaker 1: enough to know, and I was just so glad I

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Speaker 1: listened to her. I instead went on to teach, and

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Speaker 1: then teaching led to me being the budgetista, led to

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Speaker 1: me to being on broad ambition.

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Speaker 2: So here we are. You know, we're going to talk

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Speaker 2: about mentors later in the show and how to how

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Speaker 2: to find a mentor the right way. Yes, but I

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Speaker 2: think this kind of ties into why for now in

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Speaker 2: the past, I don't know. It seems like in the

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Speaker 2: past few years, mentorship has become so huge, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like women especially are so hungry for mentors because

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Speaker 2: we don't have like like this article points out, like

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Speaker 2: an older stage wise woman in the office, and not

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Speaker 2: just like we need to have just one, you know,

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Speaker 2: we need men like multiple, Like we need women who

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Speaker 2: maybe aren't, you know, work all the time and chose

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Speaker 2: not to have kids, women who have kids and work

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Speaker 2: some of the times, like different examples, women who when

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Speaker 2: I'm attorney leave and came back and some who didn't

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Speaker 2: come back and maybe they're working you know, remotely some

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Speaker 2: days of the week. We need very like diverse examples

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Speaker 2: of what it's like to be older as a woman.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, It's true. I always have questions. I'm always like, well,

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Speaker 1: so what does this look like?

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Speaker 2: But what if I make this choice? So what if

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Speaker 2: you know?

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Speaker 1: Because even I mean now with growing my own business,

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Speaker 1: entrepreneurship and relationships, sometimes I just want like a romantic

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Speaker 1: relationship mentor like, well, how are you managing with your husband?

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Speaker 2: Because you travel a lot and I travel a lot,

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Speaker 2: So how does that look like? You know, how do

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Speaker 2: you know if I have a kid? What happens to that? Like?

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Speaker 2: Are your kids mad that you're always on a plane?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 2: And so it's like I've got questions and no answers. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so how do we fix this? How do you get

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Speaker 2: more women to stay around? I mean, part of the

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Speaker 2: problem is the fact that women, you know, tend to

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Speaker 2: not get promoted as readily as men. And then also

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Speaker 2: just realistically, a lot of women, not a lot of me.

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Speaker 2: I don't know the exact statistic, but you have to

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Speaker 2: factor in the fact that some women scale back as

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Speaker 2: they go through their career, and they you know, scale

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Speaker 2: back for legitimate reasons because they you know, it's a

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Speaker 2: lot if you choose to have kids to juggle that

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Speaker 2: and do a good job and then also kick ass

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Speaker 2: and be promoted, like maybe you don't want to be

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Speaker 2: the boss having to work twenty four to seven, be

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Speaker 2: on email all the time when you have kids at home,

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Speaker 2: like and no one can fault them for that. And

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Speaker 2: that's why again, I feel like we need diverse examples

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Speaker 2: like women who choose that path and women who choose

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Speaker 2: other paths. But yeah, so we're going to talk to

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Speaker 2: you really about how do you find someone to say yes?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, wait for our Oh wait what I say?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: How do you like? That's going to be all like

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Speaker 2: our shit at the end, like, oh yeah, mentors, how

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Speaker 2: to find a good mentor yeah, how to get someone

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Speaker 2: to say yes? How do we get other other buzzwords?

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Speaker 2: These words for today? I have one more I want

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Speaker 2: to talk about. I love how it's like my job

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Speaker 2: to find the buzzword. My brown break is when Tiffany

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Speaker 2: shows up and has no ideas for what we're going

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Speaker 2: to talk about. It's been a hard week. Listen, I know,

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Speaker 2: I know, I know, Mandy is I'm gonna make for

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Speaker 2: every time you go on Instagram, you have to read

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Speaker 2: one article. You can read some headlines. Okay, that's my

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Speaker 2: chashamed her that to love you, I couldn't do the

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Speaker 2: show with that. I was just looking like, Oh, I

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Speaker 2: hope baby doesn't don't have any I have one more

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Speaker 2: I want to talk about. So something that was really

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Speaker 2: important to me as a person, because I wasn't like,

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like I was a mature person. Not

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Speaker 2: that anyone is when they're eighteen, but when I went

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Speaker 2: to college, I didn't really have a mature view of

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Speaker 2: the world. I never knew gay people, I had never

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Speaker 2: met anyone really have a different religious faith. In me.

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Speaker 2: I was just you know, I grew up in the South,

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Speaker 2: and even though I was open to new experiences and

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Speaker 2: so very i think at a young age pretty liberal,

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Speaker 2: I wasn't didn't have access to very diverse groups of people,

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Speaker 2: and I was hungry for it. So when I got

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Speaker 2: to college, everyone's talking about study abroad. You know, are

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Speaker 2: you going to go you know, oh, going to go

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Speaker 2: to con for the con festival with my you know,

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Speaker 2: with my journalism program. Are you going to go to

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Speaker 2: Spain for a semester a broad and you know some

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Speaker 2: people spent a whole year abroad. And I was like, yes,

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Speaker 2: absolutely want to do that, and then I looked and

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Speaker 2: it's like thousands and thousands of dollars, and I shut

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Speaker 2: it down immediately. And that's what a lot of people

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Speaker 2: do if you're from poor backgrounds, which you know, obviously

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Speaker 2: a lot of minorities fall into that category. And there's

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Speaker 2: this group called the Council on International Educational Exchange and

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Speaker 2: they're trying to make it less of a barrier financially

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Speaker 2: for minorities to study abroad, which I think is so

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Speaker 2: important for me. The only reason I studied abroad when

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Speaker 2: I was eighteen is because I found like a very

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Speaker 2: obscure scholarship. It was like I think, and I wrote

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Speaker 2: an essay and I had to keep emailing them like

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Speaker 2: did you get my essay? Did you get my essay?

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Speaker 2: And they gave me two thousand dollars, which was just enough,

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Speaker 2: and it was like down to the wire. I wanted

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Speaker 2: to go to Argentina for the summer, and I got

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Speaker 2: this two thousand dollars scholarship which pretty much paid for

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Speaker 2: airfare and paid the fees for my homestay. And that

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Speaker 2: was the only reason I got to go to Argentina.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I didn't have I certainly couldn't save enough

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Speaker 2: working part time while in school my first year to

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Speaker 2: study abroad, and well.

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Speaker 1: That was good, because you're right, I wanted to study

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Speaker 1: your broad But I'm like, where, houseway, where's somebody coming from?

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Speaker 2: Kids take out student loans for this really? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: I've talked and I talked to them. They're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I have this much done. I'm like, well, you say, tuition,

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Speaker 2: you know costs us much a year, but that yet

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Speaker 2: you have twice as much. So what's the story. You're like, Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I studied abroad for two years, and you know, I

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Speaker 2: think that's stupid to take student loans out for study

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Speaker 2: abroad at the same time.

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Speaker 1: But there are programs that are kind of like trying

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Speaker 1: to Like one of my friends has this organization called

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Speaker 1: Traveling mad Her name is Madeline and she was born

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Speaker 1: and raised in Newark Brick City stand up, boo boo

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Speaker 1: for those of you familiar with Newark. It's similar to

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Speaker 1: like a Compton Detroit, that kind of thing. And you

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Speaker 1: know here in Madeline was a little brown girl from

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Speaker 1: Newark and she got her her master's doe I believe

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Speaker 1: in Paris, and that's where she went to school. And

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Speaker 1: so she because she knew she really wanted to you know,

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Speaker 1: live somewhere else and study abroad. And so now she

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Speaker 1: started traveling mad to take kids, especially from Newark who've

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Speaker 1: never been anywhere, never had had a passport to take

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Speaker 1: them to other countries for a few weeks. So she

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Speaker 1: just last year she successfully successfully took between ten and

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Speaker 1: twenty kids from Newark to London.

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Speaker 2: I did like an exchange program.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just so great, and I'm just like, wow,

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Speaker 1: so these high school kids got to go to London.

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Speaker 2: That's important. Yeah, And this is where I was going

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Speaker 2: with the whole stupid anecdote about my gay high school

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Speaker 2: boyfriend and like how I wasn't a mature adult, cause

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Speaker 2: I feel like it wasn't until I went to Argentina

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Speaker 2: when I was eighteen. When I when I lived in

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Speaker 2: like a kind of poor neighborhood, and I you know,

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Speaker 2: I volunteered at a prison at one point. I didn't

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Speaker 2: understand all the Spanish, so I didn't know I was

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Speaker 2: a prison. They were like alcoholics or something. And it

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Speaker 2: really like changed my worldview, I mean, and not just

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Speaker 2: like little things too. I didn't eat vegetables before I

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Speaker 2: moved to Argentina, like I didn't like tomatoes. I didn't

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Speaker 2: like onions, lettuce, like nothing. I like ate potatoes and corn. Wow.

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Speaker 2: And then I went to Argentina and you have a

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Speaker 2: family preparing you a meal for you know, out of

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Speaker 2: their own good will and heart. You can't and you

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Speaker 2: can't not eat it. And then I just, you know,

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Speaker 2: my entire, my entire like view of food change and

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Speaker 2: now I eat everything, and it's like and it was

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Speaker 2: just it was a very crucial sort of like nothing

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Speaker 2: I could have learned in a classroom experience. But sure

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Speaker 2: travel is critical. Yeah, so yeah, And just so you know,

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Speaker 2: this group again is called counsel and International Educational Exchange.

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Speaker 2: They are giving twenty million dollars in scholarships over the

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Speaker 2: next five years to people of color when you study

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Speaker 2: abroad and passwords. It is www dot c I EE

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Speaker 2: dot org c I E E E C E yay.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, when I just a real quick

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Speaker 2: note on traveling, maybe we should bring us up another time.

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Speaker 2: But like when I graduated college, I turned out a

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Speaker 2: job and I went to travel for six months. And

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Speaker 2: when I came back without having any job experience, the

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Speaker 2: number one thing people wanted to talk about was that

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Speaker 2: trip I went on, Like I put it on my

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Speaker 2: red that I've been traveling and like, I mean, I

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Speaker 2: was working kind of abroad. But it's just it's like

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Speaker 2: the kind of experience that job, like hiring managers want

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Speaker 2: you want to see in someone and like I want

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Speaker 2: to see Yeah. So I feel like it helped me that.

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Speaker 2: All Right, blawn break, brown break, bbe do you want

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Speaker 2: to go first? Yes? Did you come with the brown break?

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Speaker 1: At least? So my brown break is actually kind of serious.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know to me to meet it. Y'all know me

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Speaker 1: to be a little bit silly, just a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but honestly, this is a serious one. I want to

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Speaker 1: take a brown break from victim shaming. So victim shaming

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Speaker 1: is basically when something happens to someone and instead of saying, hey,

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Speaker 1: person who attacked said victim, we are instead of going

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Speaker 1: to blame the victim and said, well, what could you

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Speaker 1: have done differently not to be raked? Or what could

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Speaker 1: you have done differently not to be persecuted, or what

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Speaker 1: could you have done differently not to be you know,

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Speaker 1: abused or just like attacked. It just seems ridiculous, right,

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Speaker 1: So you think here, so well, that just seems crazy.

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Speaker 2: But we do it over and over. Like the young

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Speaker 2: woman who we all saw.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure if you have not seen it, then you

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Speaker 1: are not on social media, or don't watch the news,

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Speaker 1: or just don't have TV or live in nineteen eighty five,

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Speaker 1: that the young girl who was in middle school, that

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Speaker 1: middle school, elementary school, No, it.

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Speaker 2: Was middle school, it was middle school. He was fourteen,

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Speaker 2: she was fourteen.

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Speaker 1: Okay, she was in her classroom and I guess she

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Speaker 1: wasn't participating. The teacher called a security person and he

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Speaker 1: came to the classroom and you see him, I guess,

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Speaker 1: speak to her and then you see him like kind

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Speaker 1: of put her in the headlock and then flip her

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Speaker 1: chair over and then.

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Speaker 2: Very disturbing, Yeah, throw her.

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Speaker 1: Across the room and then like drag her and then

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Speaker 1: you see, I guess there's the students describe that he's

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Speaker 1: now putting her hands behind her back like this is

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Speaker 1: like literally the girls like hmm, maybe five six, like

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Speaker 1: one hundred and ten pounds, and this guy's a powerlifter,

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Speaker 1: like to something three hundred pounds huge, and so many people,

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Speaker 1: of course, you know, there's outrage against this huge man

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Speaker 1: attacking this girl But what really surprised me and disappointed

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Speaker 1: me were so many people were like, well, these kids today,

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Speaker 1: they got to learn to respect folks, these kids today,

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Speaker 1: are you?

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Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: I Like, if you were physically here, and I don't

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Speaker 1: even get violent, I just would would like to just

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Speaker 1: mush you in the face.

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Speaker 2: What does that even mean?

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Speaker 1: Mushy right, like you know, like the old school mush

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Speaker 1: like you do your little sister when they're all in

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Speaker 1: your business, Like just mush you in the face. Because

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Speaker 1: how foolish do you sound to say that somehow a

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Speaker 1: fourteen year old is big enough or intimidating enough to

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Speaker 1: require a man that is nearly three hundred pounds and

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Speaker 1: power lifts six hundred pounds, that it would require him

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Speaker 1: to throw her cross the room, flip her desk over,

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Speaker 1: and just treat her like a rag doll. And it

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Speaker 1: just the fact that the other students didn't seem even

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Speaker 1: as shocked, because this is some person who was known

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Speaker 1: for his violence against the students. And then to say, somehow,

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Speaker 1: these kids today need to be respectful. Not that it

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Speaker 1: should matter, but that girl apparently has lost both her

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Speaker 1: grandmother and her mother in the last year and she

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Speaker 1: was not participating because she is in a state of

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Speaker 1: deep depression, as we all would be, and she's in

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Speaker 1: a foster home. Not that that should matter, but cause

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Speaker 1: I was a teacher, quite honestly for ten years, I've

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Speaker 1: had kids spit literally in my face, like hawk spit,

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Speaker 1: that's when you.

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Speaker 2: Go a t in my fi in my face.

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Speaker 1: I actually had a child to use his head against

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Speaker 1: me as a weapon. They used to teach us this

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Speaker 1: hold when like a little one was like really like

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Speaker 1: like about to hurt himself, that you would basically give

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Speaker 1: them a beer hook from behind and just kind.

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Speaker 2: Of subdue them.

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Speaker 1: He would wait until he was calm and trick me,

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Speaker 1: and then this little boy would use his head and

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Speaker 1: throw his head back into my chin. And one time

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Speaker 1: I nearly blacked out and still didn't throw him. And

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Speaker 1: so it is possible to deal with children and know

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Speaker 1: that sometimes kids come with their issues and not abuse them.

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Speaker 1: And it's just so crazy to me that someone would

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Speaker 1: look at that and say, well, what did she do?

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Speaker 2: I don't care what she did. She's not light common. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: victim shaming, I mean victim blaming. It's I mean this,

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Speaker 2: and especially when it comes to young black. Mm hmmm,

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Speaker 2: we're brown kids. And I remember that the pool party

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Speaker 2: in Texas where those kids were like you know, the

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Speaker 2: cops were called for some reason or another, and then

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Speaker 2: there was all there was this one young woman she

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Speaker 2: was about the same age as this girl too, about fourteen,

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Speaker 2: and she you know, was talking back to the cop

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Speaker 2: and then he dragged her and put her on the

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Speaker 2: ground and like was being forceful with her. And then

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Speaker 2: there were I mean, I think in that situation like

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Speaker 2: we wouldn't ever The question is when you when people

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Speaker 2: are afraid of being blamed for what they've done, Like,

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Speaker 2: the question is like would they ever report mistreatment? Like

434
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 2: if there were if these kids in this classroom or

435
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 2: at us pole party hadn't taken cell phone videos and

436
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 2: had this evidence, would these girls feel you know, or

437
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 2: would people believe them when they spoke up for them? Likely?

438
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: Not.

439
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 2: That's the sad part. It's not that the stuff is

440
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 2: happening more frequently, these attacks on brown people in general,

441
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,879
Speaker 2: black people, young people, old, But the fact that we

442
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 2: have evidence now and people are taking it, you have

443
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 2: to take it seriously.

444
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,919
Speaker 1: Can't people say that video you know he's not and

445
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 1: you know, so crazy and ridiculous when they said, like, oh,

446
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 1: he has a African American girlfriend.

447
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 2: First of all, is the flying.

448
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,160
Speaker 1: I saw, I met, I saw the best comment. Someone said,

449
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 1: if having sex with a woman of color cured you

450
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 1: of your racism, then Thomas Jefferson would have would have

451
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: freed the slaves.

452
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 2: So what does that even mean?

453
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 1: He's having sex with a black woman that makes him

454
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: not It means nothing, because honestly, let's be real, like

455
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 1: everybody knows Terry Crews, right, Terry Crews is like this

456
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 1: huge black guy who he like, what's some movies that

457
00:20:59,119 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 1: he's in?

458
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 2: Everybody he hates Chris.

459
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 1: He'sn't even Brooklyn nine nine I think, so he's also

460
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,200
Speaker 1: the father and everybody hates Chris.

461
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 2: He's huge, he's muscular. You must watch his lip sync

462
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 2: battle performance Vanessa Vanessa, what's her face? A thousand miles?

463
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yes, he is hilarious. So Terry K's huge

464
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 2: black dude.

465
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 1: Imagine Terry Crews throwing Dakota Fanning like the little girl

466
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 1: from right, or just anybody tailor not even Taylor Swift,

467
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 1: Like I'm thinking of like one of these little like

468
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 1: a good breeze would throw Taylor Swift right, like Ariana

469
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: Grande all the little girl fall with love area Gronde right.

470
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,120
Speaker 2: Just imagine him throwing her.

471
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 1: They would be up they would he would be in

472
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,719
Speaker 1: jail right now because it would be so much upward.

473
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: How dare he?

474
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: So don't tell me it's not about race, because if

475
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 1: the shoe was on the other foot, there would be

476
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,439
Speaker 1: this rage of how dare someone do this to this girl?

477
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 1: But instead it's you know, what does she do to

478
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 1: deserve it? She must have sassed him, Like I don't know,

479
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: I'm just so sick of it.

480
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 2: There And you know what black women especially are throughout history.

481
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 2: I mean, let's not get too deep into it, but

482
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 2: let's just be real, and black women are more likely

483
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 2: to be abused than other women in general. Yeah, I

484
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 2: mean by by police, by the financial system, by pretty

485
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 2: much every establishment in the country. I was just and

486
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 2: this sort of ties into it too. There was this

487
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,479
Speaker 2: and especially about the fact that the black female body

488
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: has been abused in so many different ways, over sexualized,

489
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 2: you know, physically abused for so long without any repercussions

490
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 2: for those who have been doing it. There was this

491
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 2: cop that who's just starting the trial now, although it

492
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 2: happened a year ago, he was found to have sexually

493
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 2: assaulted eight black women who lived in this all this

494
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 2: one neighborhood. I forget, I forget exactly where it was.

495
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 2: But the only reason he was caught, he was he

496
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 2: was he was patrolling a low income kind of area

497
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 2: and the only reason he got caught was because a

498
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 2: woman who was returning from like a book club or something,

499
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 2: or a cooking club with some of her friends, who

500
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 2: was middle class and educated, and you know, he stopped

501
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 2: her and she didn't unlike the other women he'd been

502
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 2: stopping who had like prior arrests, drug convictions, you know,

503
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 2: stuff that he could hold over their head. Yeah, she

504
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 2: didn't have any of that. So she called the cops

505
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 2: on him. And that's the only reason because she felt

506
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,719
Speaker 2: she felt empowered enough to speak up. And so often

507
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: women of color don't feel that empowered. And it's sad

508
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: because it was going How long could that have gone on?

509
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: Exactly whatever? People?

510
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 1: Because you choose, you know, he was so careful to

511
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: choose women that he knew that felt powerless.

512
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 2: Then it's like his word and oh my god, you

513
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 2: read the article. BuzzFeed did a really, really good in

514
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,160
Speaker 2: depth article on it. At the very end, they put

515
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 2: in this quote from an attorney who's like, you know,

516
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 2: these are people who have drug convictions and prostitution, and

517
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 2: like you're going to believe them over him. That's literally

518
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 2: what he was saying. And that's what drives me nuts

519
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 2: because they're basically like he can get away with it

520
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 2: because he's choosing people who, you know, people will never

521
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 2: believe their word against me an upstanding white man's word. Yeah,

522
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 2: and it's just so crazy. It's just I'm just so sign.

523
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: It's just you know, ever since, I mean just even recently,

524
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 1: ever since, just like talking about the over sexualization of

525
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: black women in their bodies. I mean, you know, I

526
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 1: speak professionally and there I've been in locations where someone

527
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: has said to me, Wow, Timmy, you're behind it's so big.

528
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, how how was that appropriate conversation? I'm about

529
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 1: to come up here and you've hired me to come speak,

530
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: Like what does that even mean? Or just like I'm

531
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,199
Speaker 1: always like I always think to myself like, oh, like

532
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 1: there's nothing i can do. I'm just built a certain way,

533
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 1: but I'm always so self conscious about covering up, covering up.

534
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 2: This kind of ties into my brown break. Okay, way, yes,

535
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 2: I wanted to talk about and Tiffy and I talk

536
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: about it too, like how do you dress for success

537
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 2: when you're a woman of color and you have assets

538
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: and a body type that you know clothes don't fit you.

539
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 2: They don't fit you like everyone else. And if you

540
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 2: wear something tight, you can be seen as being sexy

541
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,879
Speaker 2: when you're just trying to look good for work. So

542
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 2: my brown break this week is actually dress codes. This

543
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 2: is at like the high school, middle school, elementary school level.

544
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: I saw this posts. It's kind of going viral. This

545
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 2: young girl, she's white from the school I think in Texas. Yeah,

546
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 2: Texas again, right, I'll check on that, but I'm just

547
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 2: like one more reason to hate Texas. Sorry, Texans, I'm

548
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 2: not sorry. So this girl she posts this outfit she's

549
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 2: wearing like a three quarter length shirt covered up to

550
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 2: the collar. It's not even a cute outfit. I mean,

551
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 2: I'm just like, yeah, it's not. And like a black

552
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 2: and white striped shirt completely covered up, baggy too, and

553
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 2: then like a it would be on a normal average

554
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 2: height girl, a knee link khaki skirt, and on her

555
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 2: because she's very tall, it comes up a couple inches

556
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 2: above her knee. Apparently she was walking down the hallway

557
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 2: in an administrator or just another teacher stops her and

558
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 2: makes her basically tells her to go home and change.

559
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,439
Speaker 2: I think she ended up getting suspended too. And this

560
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 2: girl wrote like a really badass Facebook post, she said, yes,

561
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 2: I am a woman. I'm a woman with thighs, a butt,

562
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 2: and a brain. I am bigger than this high school

563
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 2: is called Beaufort High School. All of us are. Maybe

564
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,959
Speaker 2: instead of wearing about my skirt, the school should take

565
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 2: notice of its incompetent employees and sexist leaders. Wow. I'm

566
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 2: sure they're gonna love her go tomorrow, right. But I

567
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 2: can't help but think of the fact that so dress

568
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 2: codes are a hot, like a very like a hot

569
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 2: debated topic. I feel like in the school, if you're

570
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 2: a parent or you're you know, you study education anyway,

571
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,640
Speaker 2: because research has shown that when you're talking about enforcement

572
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 2: of dress codes, who do you think it's punished more girls,

573
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 2: of course, but like white girls are brown.

574
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: Girls, I'm assuming brown girls definitely all that base, all

575
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: that base because there's just certain things it's like, oh,

576
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: your body.

577
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 2: I just I can't help the fact that I have.

578
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: A behind, Like I've literally been like, all right, if

579
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: I get a size fourteen, which is ginormous, I can

580
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: cover my butt, but then it doesn't fit anyplace else.

581
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: And if I wear my size, it's like, well sheesh,

582
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: look at that behind, and you're just like, well, what

583
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: am I supposed to do?

584
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 2: And there's no like, there's no like nationwide data on

585
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: how people are punished, how young people are punished. But

586
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: there's one example in North Carolina. For two thousand and

587
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 2: nine academic year, black students in North Carolina were suspended

588
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 2: at rates significantly higher than white students, eight times higher

589
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 2: for self and you six times higher than white kids

590
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 2: for dress code violations. I think this is for both

591
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: men and or girls and boys. But I just feel

592
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 2: like the fact that women, black women are just already

593
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 2: seen as like hyper sexual creatures, like oh, when a

594
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 2: young girl starts developing, it's like her breasts are dangerous.

595
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 2: A brown girl's breast are dangerous. And you know you're Latina,

596
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 2: you're black, you have hips and thighs, like that's just

597
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 2: part of the package, you know, for not everybody, obviously,

598
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 2: but for a lot of you. And it's hard being

599
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 2: young when you have these like restrictive dress codes telling

600
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 2: you what to wear. So I feels you and for

601
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 2: people trying to dress for work, I don't know. It

602
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 2: takes a while. How old am I twenty eight and

603
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: I'm still trying to figure out, Like, oh my god,

604
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 2: the other day I was walking, I was wearing a

605
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: skirt and my boyfriend happened he would just like happened to

606
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 2: be on the same train. Who's behind me? And I

607
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 2: get a call from him. He's like, babe, I can

608
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 2: see your underwear because my skirt was high in the

609
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 2: back and I didn't realize and they had been hiked

610
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 2: up from when I was sitting down. And I'm like,

611
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 2: oh yeah, because it looked right in the front.

612
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 1: Yes, I remember the first time I realized I had

613
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 1: a But I had to be like I used to

614
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: play on the tennis team, so here I was a

615
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,679
Speaker 1: little chocolate chip amongst all this vanilla, and I mean, honestly,

616
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: I loved it. We had a good time. And then

617
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: I remember, like I was wearing my tennis skirt. You know,

618
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: tennis skirts are short, but you wear these little like

619
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: tennis shorts underneath them, and like the girls on the

620
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 1: tennis team were like Tiffany like she.

621
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 2: Was like pulling down the skirt from the back.

622
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 1: She's like, your skirt is like up in the back,

623
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: and it took her a minute to realize.

624
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 2: That's your bud. Oh my god. Oh yeah before would

625
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 2: you say? I said, you told that story before?

626
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was just like that was when I

627
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 1: first realized, like I'm built different.

628
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 2: Oh, the schools in South Carolina. Sorry, Texas, you off

629
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: the hook for now, I'm sure. Well, let me stop.

630
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 2: The Carolinas are good. And that wasn't that the story

631
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 2: of the girl who was thrown by the officer wasn't

632
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 2: I South Carolina? I resa mm hmmm. So we're taking

633
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 2: a break from y'all. We need to break from dress

634
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 2: codes maybe South Carolina in total, and also victim shaming. Yeah,

635
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 2: you know who you are. What's support each other?

636
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: Wait, okay, we're gonna harmonize.

637
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll do some right now, I'll do whatever I

638
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 2: just did.

639
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: Fun too, ready to go exactly what big sap M?

640
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 2: Maybe not? I'm bored. We're gonna do this now. I

641
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 2: like karaoke. I know my limitations, I know your weaknesses. Me.

642
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 2: I'm going for I'm microphone check want to I'm gonna

643
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 2: try not to get angry about these tips. This topic,

644
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 2: which is how to find a mentor, how to secure

645
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 2: a mentor, it sounds like catching a fish or like

646
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: trying to hunt something down because some and I'm especially

647
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 2: thinking about girls now having like being in a place

648
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: now where people are asking me for advice, and like

649
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 2: they come up to you with this glint in their

650
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 2: eye like I want to collect you, yes, or I

651
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 2: want you to make me the weirdest career pick your brain.

652
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 2: I'm like picking sounds terrible. So mentors are important, especially

653
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 2: when we're just talking about how there's not enough older women,

654
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: like established career women around the office. Maybe so you

655
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: need to reach out to other people like you need

656
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 2: for us like a Linnet Kalifani cop Yeah, Gale Harry Mason, Well,

657
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 2: I just met.

658
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: She's the author of like the Girl, Get Your Credit Straight, Girl,

659
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 1: Get Your Money Write Books. She's totally dope, one of

660
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: the first first women of color to actually talk to

661
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: other women of color about money and write a book

662
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 1: about it and be a bestseller.

663
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 2: So the problem is there's not enough of these people

664
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: to go around, and everyone wants and needs and should

665
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 2: be looking for someone to mentor quote unquote them. And

666
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 2: I want to talk about for me, like first to

667
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: talk about the definition of mentorship. I don't think that

668
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 2: you should. I feel like you should adjust your expectations

669
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 2: before you look for a mentor, especially now everyone is

670
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 2: so busy. I feel like an email once a month

671
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: is a lot, I mean, and I feel like when

672
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 2: you're asking for advice, you should always keep that in mind.

673
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 2: It depends on your relationship with someone too. If it's

674
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 2: someone that you work with every day, that's a little

675
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 2: bit easier. Obviously you'll see them, but you need to

676
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 2: look at who the person you're talking to and who

677
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 2: you're trying to reach. Look at who they are, and

678
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: you can pretty much get a good idea of how

679
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 2: busy they may be. And then Taylor, how often you're

680
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 2: bombarding them with questions around that?

681
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 1: And you know Tim Ferriss of four Week, the four

682
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 1: Hour work Week fame, right, So she has this actually

683
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: a really great post about how he got Jack Canfield,

684
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: the guy who does the chicken soup for the Soul series,

685
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: how he got him to be a mentor. They talk

686
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,239
Speaker 1: once a year, once a year, but Jack gives him

687
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: his entire life, and he said what he did was

688
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: he met Jack Canfield. Jack Campill was like, Oh, if

689
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: you don't have any questions whatever, make sure you call me,

690
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: email me. And you know, everybody says that they don't

691
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: need it, that's a lie. They don't need him. And

692
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: so he Tim Ferris said it took him like a

693
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: year or six months something like that to figure out

694
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: the perfect question to ask Jack, because he knew that

695
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 1: he'd if he asked him a question that he could

696
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: google or get the answer from from someone else, then

697
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: that would be like his last time to kind of

698
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: like connect with him. So he said it took him

699
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: months on months on months to find a question that

700
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: only mister Canfield himself could answer. So WANTI would show

701
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: that that Tim had done the research too, that he

702
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 1: respected his time, and three that he was insightful and

703
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: that he could be poured into.

704
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 2: And so he came up with this question.

705
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: Jack loved it, answered him when above and beyond, And

706
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: the next time they spoke was like a year later.

707
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 2: But you want to know the question. I know, I

708
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 2: guess you get lesson though that's true, you should really think. Yes,

709
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 2: it's kind of like when you. I hate feeling out

710
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 2: job applications. We have to write a new When you

711
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 2: have to write a new like missions, what's it called

712
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 2: cover letter each time, and you really have to tailor

713
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 2: it to the job that you want into the specific Yeah,

714
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: try and figure out exactly who you're talking to. Yeah,

715
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 2: that's because that obviously it shows that you really take

716
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: time out here.

717
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: Because if you reach out like so, I get a

718
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: lot of young girls that reach out to me and

719
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: they're like, hey, miss Bunjaniza, I'd love, you know, to

720
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 1: ask you this question. The young girls, I don't mind

721
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: because y'all don't know no better. So you're like, you know,

722
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: nineteen eighteen whatever. But then when I get someone who's

723
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: a little bit older, like once you pass your mid

724
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: twenty twenties, I'm like, okay, I want you to be

725
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: just a little bit more mindful.

726
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: But if you ask me a.

727
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: Question that it's like if obvious a quick surveillance of

728
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: my website that I don't do, or a question that

729
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: literally it is something that you could google, it seems

730
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: like like you're not even willing to put the effort in.

731
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 2: But then you want me to pour into you, so

732
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: you might ask me.

733
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: A question like, Hey, how much do speakers get paid?

734
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 2: Or something like that. I'm like, that's a quick google.

735
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: Now if you were to say, Hey, Tiffany, you know

736
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: I'm really going into I want to start teaching financial

737
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: education and I live in Detroit. I see that you

738
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 1: started off with, you know, nonprofits. Did you feel that

739
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: that was the best way to begin something like that?

740
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: Now you have my attention. Now, I'm like, Okay, I

741
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 1: can give you a specific answer because you might not

742
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: get because you know, you might be number I don't know.

743
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: Sometimes I get like twenty or thirty people a day

744
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 1: asking me, you know, a question, So you can't keep

745
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: coming back to the well, I can't allow for that.

746
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: So if you wasted your question on something you can google, Well,

747
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: they want a.

748
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 2: Question, y'all better be careful with one question.

749
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: No, that's not what it is, Just that, like when

750
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: people show thoughtfulness, it makes me want to give more.

751
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 2: I've never really been one to like look for a mentor.

752
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 2: I've asked people for advice, but I don't even put

753
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 2: that pressure on someone in my own head to think

754
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 2: they're my mentor they're gonna help me. I have a

755
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 2: bunch of different people I've asked advice not just women,

756
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: but men too, and I talked about that before. It's

757
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 2: important to have male mentors. You want to know what

758
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,839
Speaker 2: they're making, so as you know almost more than maybe

759
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 2: a woman, or at least know what a man and

760
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 2: a woman are making, so you can compare and see

761
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 2: if something's going on there you should pay attention to.

762
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 2: I think it's important to look for mentors who are

763
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 2: not always just like you. Yeah, agreed, maybe not, you know,

764
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 2: if you're obviously and then this is just a thing

765
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 2: like when you're brown and you see the other brown

766
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 2: person in the office, maybe you gravitate toward them for

767
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 2: a certain way. But I don't think that you should

768
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 2: limit yourself in that way either. And don't look only

769
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,280
Speaker 2: for you know, if you're Latino, only look for Latina

770
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 2: woman mentor, or only look for a black mentor if

771
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 2: you're black, Like I think that's important, but you need

772
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 2: other perspectives too, And just know that.

773
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: Being a mentor mentee it's a give it like a

774
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 1: give and take, meaning that what do you bring to

775
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: the table, So you.

776
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,879
Speaker 2: Should have accomplished thing like whatever question you're asking. Let's say,

777
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 2: and I just had someone come to me actually for

778
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 2: a while, and I talked to her for a long

779
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,720
Speaker 2: time because I ramble, but she wanted to know about

780
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 2: she had a question about she she wanted to get promoted,

781
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 2: but she didn't feel like it was going to be happening.

782
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, you know, have you been

783
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,399
Speaker 2: keeping track of what you've been doing the past year?

784
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 2: Do you have an exact idea of what job you want?

785
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 2: She's working for a startup, so the job she get

786
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 2: promoted you doesn't really exist yet, and she's like, yeah, no,

787
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 2: I've only thought about it. I'm like, well, you have

788
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 2: to have some sort of a plan before. How can

789
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 2: I help you? Like, you know, I feel like the

790
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 2: questions shouldn't have been like how do I get promoted?

791
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 2: It should have been like, how do I figure out

792
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 2: what's the job that I want to do that I

793
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: can pitch to them? Or how do I what's the

794
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 2: right way to bring up all the things I've done

795
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 2: in the past year when I'm building my keys for promotion,

796
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 2: And that would have been a much more like efficient

797
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 2: use of time.

798
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 1: And also too, it's like do the work like I

799
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: love you, like if you're asking me like how do

800
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: I take the first step, I'm like, oh boy, you're not.

801
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,760
Speaker 1: You have to do the work, like, do the first

802
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 1: five to ten steps on your and when you literally

803
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,760
Speaker 1: have no other steps to take, that's when you're like, Okay,

804
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: now I can ask because then when you come to me,

805
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: or you come to Mandy, you come to somebody that

806
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 1: you have a question, you can say, look at all

807
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: the work that I've done. I'm fully invested in this

808
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: new project or whatever it is I'm trying to do.

809
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 2: I just don't know where to go next. Now that's an.

810
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 1: Easy direct versus like how do you start a business?

811
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 2: What that? Oh my god? You know what? The biggest

812
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 2: question I get now is how do you start a podcast?

813
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 2: It's just like I'm like, well, I'm you know, I

814
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: just went to a conference and I signed up to

815
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 2: tell people how to start a podcast. So I blame

816
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 2: myself for this. And now I'm like, I'm I and

817
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 2: if anyone's listening from that conference, I'm preparing that tip

818
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 2: sheet as we speak, I'm going to do it. It's

819
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,919
Speaker 2: only been three weeks. I'm late, I know, but yeah,

820
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 2: it's such a broad question. And the way that I

821
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 2: found out was www dot Google dot com. You know,

822
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 2: did you know Google is free? What? Maybe even charge

823
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 2: you what for free? There's no libraries or you do

824
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 2: be a library card exactly. You can do Google on

825
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 2: the train, on the plane. Words are hard, I know,

826
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 2: reading is difficult even I'm like reading these A lot

827
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,879
Speaker 2: of the stuff I've done with this is I don't

828
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 2: read directions in general. So doing this podcast and learning

829
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: how to edit and learning what equipment I needed, I

830
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:15,879
Speaker 2: just skimmed and I was just like, I'll just buy

831
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 2: this thing and hope it's right. So I did like

832
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,800
Speaker 2: that groundwork myself, and the kind of questions I'm asking,

833
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 2: Like we are part of this really seecer like financial

834
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 2: kind of group, and I never want to ask a

835
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: dumb question in that group. I want to ask a

836
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 2: very specific question. People can answer questions, answer, you know,

837
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 2: and answer in a way that'll make them look smart.

838
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 2: People like you to ask questions that only they could

839
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 2: know that makes them look good, you know. And so

840
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 2: I waited to have really specific questions about the inner

841
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 2: workings of a podcast, like specific things like you know,

842
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 2: did you use this platform to edit?

843
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 1: Not?

844
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: How do you edit? Yeah, like what did you think

845
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 2: of this certain platform? What do you think of this

846
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 2: certain show. If you're doing some of the work, Oh yeah, hella.

847
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 2: And and I feel like with any big thing like that,

848
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 2: you should always do the work yourself. I mean, no

849
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 2: one's gonna walk you through, no one has time to

850
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 2: watch every step, no one has time. It's just and

851
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 2: you shouldn't feel you shouldn't get let down when people

852
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,320
Speaker 2: aren't sitting down with you for two hours to tell.

853
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: You how, because yeah, and I get it, because I mean,

854
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: I'm sure, Manda, you've done that before. Because I know

855
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: I've made the mistake of like asking for too much,

856
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 1: you know when I first started out, and I look

857
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: back at that and I'm like, Okay, so now I don't,

858
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:20,439
Speaker 1: you know, I.

859
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 2: Really do the work.

860
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,479
Speaker 1: I google YouTube by, I do as much as I can,

861
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:25,919
Speaker 1: and then when I'm at the end of my rope

862
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, okay, I just don't get it.

863
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: Then I'll reach out and then usually it's just a

864
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 1: quick redirect then I'm back to work again.

865
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

866
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: So there's some tips about how you can get yourself

867
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: a mentor. We have not mentioned any of our social

868
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: media platforms.

869
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 2: We're doing terrible.

870
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, if you have a brown break, if you

871
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: have some tips that you like for us to go over.

872
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 2: You can tweet it at the BA podcasts at Twitter

873
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 2: or email us Brown. You guys have been emailing a

874
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 2: lot actually Brown Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com. We

875
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 2: actually just love if you have any questions, like if

876
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 2: you have a question that you want answered on the air,

877
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 2: quote unquote, we'd love to get those from you. Yeah,

878
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 2: you could also hit us on Facebook, Brown Ambition.

879
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,919
Speaker 1: So our wins were wrapping up with some wins wins well,

880
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: of course, our huge win is being on New and Normal.

881
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 2: New and Noteworthy, and yes, please leave reviews. M h.

882
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 2: We sound a little greedy, but we want we love it,

883
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 2: we need it, we need it real quick. I want

884
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 2: well I can, I can give myself a win representing

885
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 2: Brown Ambition. I was interviewed on Stacking Benjamin's podcast, Yeah

886
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 2: Past Week, which is a huge podcast. Yeah super so,

887
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 2: Hi Joe Money, thanks for having us on, and you

888
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 2: guys should definitely check out his podcast, you know after

889
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 2: you download ours. Of course, it's called Stacking Benjamin's and

890
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 2: he does a lot of like great personal finance investing

891
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 2: advice and sometimes he has great guests on including yours

892
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 2: truly trying to think what are the wins. We had

893
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 2: a win, a submission from a reader, which we love. Yes,

894
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 2: this reader's name is Tip, I think so. Yeah. She

895
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 2: called out a young woman, a youth entrepreneur from New Jersey,

896
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: I think Jersey Jersey. Her name is Essence Moore as

897
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 2: a teenager. She as a teen. I don't know exactly

898
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 2: how old she is. How old is she? She's really young.

899
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 2: She's like young teen, not like eighteen, like oh man, yeah, like,

900
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:20,720
Speaker 2: So she owns she owns a company called Essence Couture

901
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,399
Speaker 2: and Essence Couture University and Essence Couture Publishing. What what

902
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 2: it's she woman? Wait? She released a book called sixth

903
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: Grade Middle School Chronicles. Wow this I thought she owned

904
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 2: a spa. She does. It's oh my god. She also

905
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: owns a spot. I didn't even know about the other stuff.

906
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 2: And on that. She's a teen mogul. Okay, no wonder

907
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 2: she's wait, she's only sixteen years old. Wow.

908
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 1: So she owns a spa in Paseic, New Jersey. So

909
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: it's Essence Couture Spam Boutique, seventy one Market Street, Pasaic,

910
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: New Jersey. So she started it for teens and tweens.

911
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 1: How dope is that? Wait?

912
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 2: I can't even handle her about me? Hold on it,

913
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:01,240
Speaker 2: says teen preneur, teen preneur, children, tweens and teens, stylist,

914
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 2: fashion designer, actress, motivational speaker, and author Essence More has

915
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 2: been in various fashion shows, passions and karate turning. Yes,

916
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 2: this is so cute, Essence, this is adorable. I'm gonna

917
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: need you, Essence though, to pick a lane. No, but no,

918
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 2: I mean I feel like this was how I was

919
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 2: when I was in college. I was literally in every

920
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 2: single extra. She's still trying to figure it out. No,

921
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 2: I think I think this is exciting, And I think

922
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 2: this is like the part when you're when the time

923
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 2: in your life when you're so young and energetic, I'm

924
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 2: gonna try every single thing and I don't want to

925
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 2: just be pinned down to one thing.

926
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think this is just so great because honestly,

927
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, I was still trying to figure

928
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 1: out which hairstyle works best for my face.

929
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 2: When I was fourteen, I was trying to figure out

930
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 2: why my hair would not do what Lizzie macguires did. Yeah,

931
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 2: I gave up on when I was ten. I was

932
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 2: still trying to have white girl hair. When I was Oh,

933
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 2: I didn't even a baby, bro, you did, Oh, well,

934
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 2: you know I was a hot mess. I had the

935
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 2: most listened I know I'm segueing but like or going

936
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: off topic, but I had the most like straight to

937
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,720
Speaker 2: my heart conversation in the bathroom last week with another

938
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 2: mixed girl in my office who I've seen around but

939
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 2: i'd never like, I don't know her story. I don't

940
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:08,879
Speaker 2: know she's like black and white or whatever, but she's

941
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,720
Speaker 2: we're both black and white, both had white mothers, both

942
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 2: raised a majority of time by the white mothers. And

943
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 2: she and I just had this like come to Jesus

944
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 2: moek with each other. We just like later we were

945
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 2: like your mom too, your mom took you to the

946
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 2: mall and got the one black salon to do your

947
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 2: hair when you're young. And we're like, I'm like, i've

948
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 2: never seen my hair natural. I don't know what my

949
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 2: whole real hair looks like. And she's like me either,

950
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 2: and she's, you know, going through the whole transition thing

951
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,359
Speaker 2: and I'm transitioning and I was giving tips and she

952
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 2: was giving me tips. It was like you found your

953
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 2: sister from another mixer and it was nice to relate. Sorry, essence, more,

954
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 2: I just hijacked your wind.

955
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 1: Yes, but Essence, you are a winner, chicken dinner overachiever.

956
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 2: Keep going. Yes, I think that she seemed to be

957
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 2: my mentor, right, essence? Can you teach me your ways?

958
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 2: See how that sounds? That's how y'all sound? Tea? Oh

959
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 2: I had one? Well when oh two? Mara just kidding,

960
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 2: I have all the ideas. Addition, I'm not really like

961
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 2: mad I'm not. I love Ti so real quick. You know,

962
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,399
Speaker 2: The Wiz is coming out the live Broadway show. They're

963
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 2: doing it. They're doing like a mini documentary on today's show,

964
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 2: I think, going behind the scenes like the the Dorothy

965
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: for The Whiz Live. It's a girl called Shaw niece Williams.

966
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 2: She's from New Jersey and the Jersey Girl and she's

967
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 2: like so cute and so sweet. Have been following her

968
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 2: on Instagram. It's just cute to see her, Like, you know,

969
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,800
Speaker 2: she's surrounded by all these really famous like the who's

970
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 2: Who of Black entertainment. Who's else said it like Alfred Woodard,

971
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 2: Jennifer Hudson. Yeah, she's Nigerian. Whoo Woo Niga girls and

972
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 2: she's ebo. Yeah bo. That's just a huge brown wind

973
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 2: when you pay attention to that. I think it's coming

974
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 2: out early December or late November. That's like, that's gonna

975
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 2: be fun. Yes, And then I you know, I told

976
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 2: you last week, I'm obsessed with Jane the Virgin. Yeah.

977
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 2: I spent all weekend catching up and it's so good.

978
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 2: You need to watch it when next time you get

979
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 2: sick or something like that, just watch. So, Gina Rodriguez

980
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 2: is the main character, and she has been getting flack

981
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 2: because people say she's not Latina enough to play Latina

982
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 2: personality or Latina character. Why she's half Latino, she's not.

983
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 2: She's full Puerto Rican. The thing is, she doesn't speak

984
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 2: one hundred percent fluent Spanish and people are calling her

985
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 2: out for it. And here's the thing about it, and

986
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 2: I can really I can understand because my boyfriend is Dominican,

987
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 2: but he is not one hundred percent fluent. How part

988
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 2: of the reason is because when you're in a lot

989
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 2: of Latino households, the parents want their kids to speak English.

990
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 2: And in my boyfriend's case, he was also like taking

991
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 2: care of the household, like paying the bills for them.

992
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 2: He would be calling Time Warner to argue what the

993
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 2: he will bill, and he had to speak English. And

994
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,240
Speaker 2: you speak to your parents in English and they speak

995
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 2: back to you in Spanish. This is a modern day

996
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 2: Latino family. And this is what Gina kind of calls

997
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 2: out in this amazing interview with Huffington Post. She basically says, like,

998
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 2: it doesn't get more Latina than I am. You know,

999
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 2: I am my own version of Latina. I don't think

1000
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 2: there's any one Latina story which is so true. There's

1001
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 2: no one version, there's no like, there's no like scale

1002
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 2: of how Latino are you? And I thought I was

1003
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 2: a win because she said it so eloquently. At the

1004
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 2: same time, it's crazy to me that we have to

1005
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,959
Speaker 2: still tell people, explain to people that there's different ways

1006
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 2: of brown and different stories and stuff.

1007
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 3: But you leftin it on lady.

1008
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,840
Speaker 2: All right, Thanks, that's that's so number eleven.

1009
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 1: Please please please stay connected the BA podcast on Twitter.

1010
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 1: If you want to find us via email, send us

1011
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: a little message say hey, you know, send a brown

1012
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,240
Speaker 1: break or questions or tips or something. You can email

1013
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 1: us at I always forget them.

1014
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 2: I gonna get it right No, I'm not. I'm not like,

1015
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 2: hey man, it's not hard Brown Ambition Podcast. I'm Ambition

1016
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: Podcast at gmail dot com. And Facebook got Brown Ambition,

1017
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 2: yes see, I would get Facebook in Twitter right, it's

1018
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 2: just Brown.

1019
00:45:58,320 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: I got it.

1020
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 2: Oh And if you guys are listening on Stitcher or

1021
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 2: iTunes where you can currently find us, we are coming

1022
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 2: to Google Play very soon. I wish I could tell

1023
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 2: you when, but it's going to be soon, so all

1024
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: you Android users will be It's good news for you guys. Yes,

1025
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,240
Speaker 2: thanks guys. Thanks see you next week. Be Brown