WEBVTT - 5 Times I Couldn't Stop Crying 0:00:01.360 --> 0:00:05.000 You're listening to Jojo Siwa Now with me Jojo Siwa 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:10.119 and iHeart Radio Podcast. Welcome back to this lovely thing 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:13.720 we like to call Jojo Siwa. Now. Now, I would 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:15.920 say grabby box of tissues, But honestly, this is probably 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:18.439 gonna be funny more than it is sad. I'm gonna 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:21.079 be talking about the five times in my life that 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:23.720 I like, really couldn't stop crying. There's a lot more 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:25.560 than five, but I've narrowed it down to some of 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:29.040 my favorites. A lot of these actually are stories that 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:32.600 I'm actually pretty sure. All of them are stories that 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:36.280 I've never really shared before. Some of them have different meanings. 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:37.800 Some of them are happy tears, some of them are 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:41.919 sad tears. I'm not necessarily a crier, but if I 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:47.360 get like emotionally frustrated, boom, it is waterworks every single time. 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:50.320 I mean, I feel like that's normal, Like that's everybody 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:53.600 in the world when you get emotionally frustrated. But nonetheless 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:56.560 I am one of those people. Anyways, y'all, it has 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.600 been such a good few fucking weeks before I get 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.200 into this. Oh my god, it has literally been the 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:04.560 best time of my life. Getting to do all these 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:06.920 pride fests. It's been so fun getting to the set. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:09.800 Now Guilty Pleasure, Oh my gosh, the EP. I'm so 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:11.679 excited for all this music to finally be out. 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.240 It's been years in. 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:16.800 The making, and uh, it's been a fight to get 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:18.240 my vision exactly the way that I want it. 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:19.199 But we are here. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.800 We are queer, and we are so fucking happy to 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:24.320 be alive, and I am so soaked. Y'all, if you 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:27.319 haven't already, go check out Guilty Pleasure, and Uh, without 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.920 any further ado, let's dive in to the five times 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.800 I couldn't stop crying now. First one, we're actually starting 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:36.960 this off kind of sad. First one's probably about as 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:40.760 sad as it gets. That lies personally for me. The 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:43.200 third one, but for for y'all, you're gonna be like, 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:44.240 oh that's dad, you were. 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:44.800 A little baby. 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:47.680 But yeah, So the first time first one, and I'm 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:49.720 gonna talk about is actually when I was on my 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.720 very first TV show, and this was my first experience 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:57.360 with hate and online bullying and how foul this world is. 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:01.040 It was after the first episode at aired, and if 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.880 you don't know adc Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition is the 0:02:03.880 --> 0:02:06.640 first show that I was on. First TV show. Its 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:10.080 reality show. It essentially was, you know, start with twelve dancers. 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:10.919 One gets eliminated. 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:13.320 Every single week, you dance, you to a challenge. It's fun, 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:15.359 it's reality TV show, it's Abby Lee, It's a Dance 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:16.080 Mom spinoff. 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:17.280 It is what it is. 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:19.480 Anyway, So I was on season two of the show. 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:21.680 I was the youngest. I was nine years old during filming. 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:23.120 I was ten years old when it came out. So 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:26.360 I was just I mean, I was a baby. Anyways, 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:30.800 the first episode airs and Abby posted something on her Instagram. 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:33.160 Abby Lee had said, you know, who do you want 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:36.720 to go home next week? And I read the comments 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:39.160 as one does at ten years old, and it was 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:43.400 every single one was jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo jojo. 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:49.519 Every single comment was jojo. And I broke down and 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:51.440 like I was, I mean, I was a baby. I 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:54.000 don't think i'd ever really like cried, cried like that. 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:56.600 I'd never been sad, said like that, and I my 0:02:56.600 --> 0:02:58.720 mom says she'll never forget the visual like me walking 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:00.160 down the stairs as she was sitting in the living 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.239 room and our stairs kind of connected to our living room. 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.359 So like at the last five stairs you could see 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:06.040 into the living room and living roo. We could see 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:09.200 to the stairs, and I mean, I can picture it too. 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:11.400 I had little braids in my hair and I walked 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:13.480 down the stairs like red face, sobbing. Now think about 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:20.520 me is when I cry, I cry like cry, cry, cry, cry, 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:22.560 and like you can tell that I have been crying. 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:24.720 I get a web face. It is very dramatic and 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:27.800 I can't pull it together when I'm crying. Anyways, So 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:30.000 I come down their I was like who and she 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:31.639 was like, oh my god, what happened? 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:32.400 Like are you okay? 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:36.120 And I was like yeah, just look what everyone's saying. 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:37.400 And she was like what do you mean? And I 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:40.360 was like, look at Abby's post and she was reading it. 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:43.040 She was like Jojo, let me ask you a question. 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:45.320 And I was like what is it. She was like, 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:46.360 do you go home? 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.040 And I was like, well no, and she was like okay, 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:50.840 So then why do you care what these people are saying? 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:53.640 And I was like, because they're being so mean and she. 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:54.240 Said no, they're not. 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:57.840 She said they're saying your name and I said huh, 0:03:57.880 --> 0:03:59.760 And I like kind of like pause for a second, 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:02.600 like they're saying your name. They're not saying anyone else's name. 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:06.560 They know you and they know your name. And funny enough, 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:08.600 I'm just literally just thinking about this now. I'm just 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:09.080 realizing this. 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:09.360 Now. 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:12.040 That was the start of me being people's guilty pleasure. 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:16.320 No pun intended, Absolutely pun intended. But I uh yeah, 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.880 that was kind of my first experience with like true 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.640 internet hate. And it was hard for me to understand 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:25.040 that because I didn't understand why everyone wanted me to 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:27.280 go home, you know, so obviously my mind goes, they 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:28.839 want me to go home because they hate me, you 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:31.280 know what I mean? And uh, I didn't understand that 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:32.840 it was just a reality TV show and that's how 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:35.760 it's going to be in like the like least favorite 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:38.000 is actually the favorite. That's like the weirdest thing about 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:40.000 reality TV is the least favorite is actually the favorite. 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:41.280 I mean, look at like at. 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:45.880 Fucking vander Pump, like Tom Sandival like is is like 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:48.560 he is vander Pump right now. He is the show 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:51.479 right now. Without him, that show wouldn't be at what 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:54.040 it is. And it's like the villain of the story 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:56.360 arc of a reality show is normally the one that 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:58.799 like is carrying it on their back, and of course 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:02.800 vander Pump is very accessful cast. But think about it, 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:06.000 and that's the good dance moms. People say Abby was 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:09.200 the villain, and honestly like a villain or not to me, 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:11.960 like she carried that fucking show. 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:12.360 On her back. 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:14.960 Would not have been possible without her, and that's that's that. 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.000 So I guess ADC, I wasn't a villain, but I 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:19.680 was the hater one. I mean it couldn't be the villain. 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:23.120 I was literally nine. Yeah, I was really upset that night, 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.200 and I will I'll never forget that. That kind of got 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:27.920 my hate experience started, and then I just got fucking 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:30.360 used to it. Here I am today still getting aided 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.720 on which ry I wrote a song about it. Fun fact, 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:36.560 bitch I wrote guilty Pleasure suck It. I also wrote yesterday, 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:38.120 tomorrows today, just saying. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.640 It doesn't matter. It absolutely doesn't matter anyway. 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:44.840 Second time is after my first Pride concert in Miami. 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.720 This was back April fourteenth. I know it's April fourteenth 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:51.080 because I actually have a hoodie that says Miami Pride, 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:52.440 and I put the wrong data on the hoodie that 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:55.080 was my fault I put April fifteenth. Anyways, it was 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.320 April fourteenth. It was my first live performance as an adult, 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:03.559 and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed after. I didn't 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.839 really know how to feel right after. I was very numb. 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:07.599 Like I came out station, I was like, what the 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:10.800 just happened? Because I didn't expect it to be a success, 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:12.360 Like I thought there was gonna be like a couple 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:16.239 hundred people there, like I don't know, and it was crazy. 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:19.400 There was fifty five thousand people. The singing of Karma 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.800 was actually insane and I've never heard anything like it 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:24.640 while performing before. And so I came out stations. I 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:25.839 was just kind of in shocked, and I was like, 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:27.520 did I do good? Like I kept asking my mom 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:28.200 like was I okay? 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:28.840 Did I do good? 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:30.599 Like did I fuck up? Like I don't know what 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:32.160 to think right now? Did I go full out? And 0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:35.240 like it was really questioning everything. And then all of 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:37.160 a sudden, the president of Miami probably came up to 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:39.280 it was like, hey, we want you to know that 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:41.400 you set the record for the most people in attendance. 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:44.040 There was fifty five thousand people watching. We have never 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:46.800 seen anything like that, like, I hope you're really proud 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:49.360 of yourself. And when he said that, I looked at 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:51.520 him and I actually, I do this thing with my 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:53.960 best friend Malia where we take a lap and we 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:56.479 just run away. And I took a lap. I literally 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:59.560 ran away and squatted down. I started sobbing, stood up, 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:00.960 and I was like, I don't know what I'm feeling 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:03.679 right now. I'm just so happy, so sad, like I'm sobbing, 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:07.800 I'm I'm not sad, like I'm happy, and I couldn't 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:09.360 pull it together, but I was just I was so 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:12.520 overwhelmed with like a confused feeling of like how am 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:14.240 I supposed to feel right now? And then it was 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:17.280 just like the most happy feeling, like we fucking did it, 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:19.440 and that that made me really happy. 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:21.200 That made me really proud. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:24.320 Ah see this one, this third one is the like 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:25.440 heart wrencher for me. 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:26.360 This one's very hard. 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:30.440 So I have a best friend and for the sake 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:34.600 of this podcast, we're gonna call this best friend who 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:36.200 what's a fun name? All right, I'm gonna use the 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.120 code name that they call me, So they call me Julian. 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:40.480 So whenever we're in public, they're like what's up, Julian, 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.240 And uh, that's kind of like our running joke. Anyways, 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.360 So their name is not Julian, but for right now, 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:47.360 for this story, I'm gonna call it Julian. It it 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:50.480 is crazy, I'm gonna call her Julian. So me and 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:52.679 this friend, we are best best best friends. We recently 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:56.440 became friends last year, right on my twentieth birthday, so 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.800 we've been friends for a little over a year. Doing 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:00.960 meet those people that you just like click with and 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.120 you just bond with immediately and you're like, you're my people. 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.160 How did I have a life before you? I don't know. 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.640 Anyways, So this is Julian. I kind of like calling 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.880 her that. Now I'm gonna steal it. Julian and I 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:12.840 were very much so like that. We got very close, 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.280 very fast, and it was a lot of fun. We 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:18.000 have a very common interest and we just we bonded. 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:19.720 Anyways. They have a. 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:21.880 Job where they work on a cruise ship, and so 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:25.200 they are always always busy, always working, always on a 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:26.920 cruise and then they have a couple months off here 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:28.800 and there, and then they're back on ship working and 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.560 so Seria hard dang out. It's very hard to see them. 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:34.680 But anyways, they actually came to La for a week 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:37.239 and we hung out for a week and it was amazing. 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:40.000 They stayed at the house. We had so much fun together. 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:42.720 She's literally the best fucking humor of my best friend, 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.240 Like just having the best time, so many laughs, so 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.880 many good times. Anyways, the morning came where I had 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:51.320 to take her to the airport and say goodbye, and 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.280 that I mean I was like half strong while we 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:54.880 were at the airport. 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:56.120 I really was, And I told her, I was like, 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:56.560 you gotta go. 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:59.079 I was like the tears are coming, Like you got 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.840 to go now, and like we have a very like 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:06.400 fun relationship where it's like very like dickheady, like very buntery, 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:07.360 like we are not nice for. 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:09.120 Each other, but like we love each other with all 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:10.920 of our hearts. And I was like, dude, you got 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:13.240 to get the fuck out of here right now, Like 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.120 you cannot see me cry because I'm going to. 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.880 Miss you you And it was just it was hard 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:19.160 because we got to spend a week together, and then 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.200 I was like, we are like not going to see 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:22.760 each other for so long. 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:24.960 This is sick, twisted, devious, sinister. 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:28.440 Evil, and so I yeah, I just started melting down 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:30.880 and got in the car and when I tell you, 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:32.520 the forty five minute car ride home from. 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.160 The airport, that's the hardest I've ever cried in my life. 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.000 And then I came home and I was like, you 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:39.080 know what, clearly, I just need to be sad right now. 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:41.360 Came in, came in my bedroom and just kept crying. 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:44.079 And I cried for probably another hour, and I got 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:45.920 up and worked out, cried while I worked out, Like 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:49.040 it was like days worth of crying. It was a lot. 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.480 It was very hard. I don't know why it hit 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:55.360 me very so hard. But I am a lover and 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:57.400 like when it comes to my friends and my people, 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.200 like I just love to give, give, give attention, and 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.360 so I got really used to being able to give 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:03.120 her that attention in that week and it was so 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:06.040 fun and like just like the literal best times. And 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:08.480 then all of a sudden she had to go and 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:10.160 go back to work and I was like, what is 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:14.040 this bullshit? Absolutely not, so I stopped. But nonetheless, we 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:15.480 got to see each other couple months later. We're gonna 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:17.240 get see each other in a couple months. It's great. 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:20.800 Our friendship works, and we have a lot of fun. Anyways, 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:23.720 that's that one that was my like sad one. This 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:26.199 one's cute, not gonna lie. When I was like five 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:28.439 years old, we went on to Disney Cruise. Didn't understand 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.959 the concept of the safety like drill thought we were 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.240 going down in flames, like thought the boat was sinking 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:38.000 for sure. So started stobbing then couldn't stop. My parents 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:39.800 were like, you need a can it? And I didn't 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:42.080 can it. And the second time it was also on 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:44.440 the same trip, same Disney cruise. When it was over, 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:45.960 I had the best time. It was five Like a 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:48.079 Disney cruisal. Five yearld is the coolest thing ever. Disney 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.240 cruise to anybody's coolest thing ever. But five year old, 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:52.080 you like really think you're on the ship would Mackey 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:55.200 fucking mouse, Like it's the best time ever. And like 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:58.000 saying goodbye they make it so sad. They sing the songs, No, 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:02.000 it's time to say goodbye, doll family, m I see 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:06.120 k U y m o us and like that's sick 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:07.920 twisted dbs to a five year old. 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.160 It's like, how how are you gonna do that to 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:11.720 a five year old? That is mean cruel? 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:14.320 So I was sobbing Deva say, this is a really 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.120 good picture of me where I'm red in the face, 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:29.040 just sobbing. Last one, I'm actually I'm gonna give you 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.080 a little bit of a bonus one after this last one, 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:34.680 but quick. Last one is Dream the Tour. Honestly, like 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:37.480 every beginning leg of Dream the Tour, first show and 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:39.360 every last show on Dream the Tour, I would always 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:41.160 sob I'd stop because I was so grateful and I 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:42.200 saw because I was so. 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:42.800 Sad it was over. 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:46.200 It was just non stop tears. The worst was the 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:48.840 last last show ever on Dream the Tour. I was 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.640 sobbing on stage the old night because I was like, 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:53.560 oh my god, the last time I'm gonna sing word party, 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.240 oh my god, the last time I'm gonna sing time 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:56.040 to celebrate. 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:57.040 Oh my gosh, last time. 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:02.439 Like every single song you got water works, every single one, okay, 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.400 and the last last little bonus and then I'm gonna 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:08.520 give you is on Special Forces. Honestly, I cried every 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:11.959 day on Special Forces come day one, like so the 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.199 way Special Force was edited, and I never really like 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:17.120 to give like insider scoop to how TV shows are edited. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.240 But I'm gonna go into for a second for this one. 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.440 So if you watch Special Forces episode one, they use 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.440 an interview with me where I'm crying to the DS 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:25.560 saying that I missed my family. 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:27.640 That was actually on day six. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:29.640 But to make Special Forces makes sense, you know, they 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:31.160 do have to edit in, they have to play certain 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:34.160 storylines earlier and later, and so it's a Teve. 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:34.560 Show, you know what I mean. 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:37.400 But at the end of the day, that was at 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:40.120 day six and day one, I'm not gonna lie have stoked, 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:42.160 Like I was like, fuck, yeah, I'm alone for the 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.480 first time. Whoo whoop, like newly twenty year old, let's 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.280 party it up. And come day three, I was like, 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:50.600 I'm so sad. I was like, this is the sadest 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:52.720 day of my life. Like every day, every day I 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.079 gave you waterworks, I gave you tears. I would go 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:57.319 out and I uh, I one way I would comfort 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:58.800 myself as I would talk to the Moon. And I 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:01.720 grew up very close relationship with the Moon, because as 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.160 I grew close to my other fellow recruits, I would 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:05.440 are especially. 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:05.720 Nick and Tyler. 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:08.640 You didn't really have anyone that you already knew, And 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.000 so I talked to the moon and it sounds cheesy, 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:12.880 but you get delusional. And so I was like, hey, Moon, 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:16.080 I need you to deliver these messages for me. And 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:17.880 I would talk to my best friends, and I would 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:19.760 talk to my family, and I'd talk to my parents, 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.840 and I would trust that the moon delivered those messages safely. 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:24.680 And the reason why it brought me comfort is because 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.200 I was like, no matter where my people are, they 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:30.640 are going to see this same moon. And for some reason, 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:32.600 like I love doing that. If like one of my 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:34.200 friends is having a bad dan and I'm not there 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.120 to comfort them, I'll be like, hey, go outside real quick, 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:38.800 look at the moon. No that I can't see you 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.319 and I can't hugue, but we are looking at the 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.400 same thing right now. And that to me like brought 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:47.079 me so much comfort on Special Forces, and honestly it's 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.960 something that I still use to the day. But yeah, no, 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.880 Special Forces gave you waterworks. I could not stop crying 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.080 all the time on Special Forces. Like those times I 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.400 was like, Okay, you gotta pull it together, like this 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:00.760 is getting psycho like five. I end fine to find it, 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:02.760 but you just, I mean, you could. I never cried 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:05.839 like during a task, but I always cried after the task, 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:08.960 The one that got me the most is the shooting task, 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:12.320 because I was I don't know, I always feel like 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:14.240 I told this story and I'm always like, I've never 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.120 told this story publicly before, but I've definitely had to 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.640 say that before. And so I have told this story publicly, 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.480 but I don't tell it often. I was in a 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.160 shooting when I was a kid. I was five years 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.800 old in the Vonmar shooting in Omaha, Nebraska, and it 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.160 was me and my mom and it was very scary. 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:31.720 We were on our way to the register where the 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:35.840 armed gunman went and we my mom actually ended up 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.680 as we were going to that register, she looked at 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:40.040 the skirt again that she was gonna buy, and she 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:41.800 realized it didn't have sequence on the back, and so 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.320 she was like, you know what, it's an expensive skirt, 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:45.960 Like it doesn't even have a sequence on the back, 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:49.360 Like let's just go. And as we were like like 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.200 putting it back to go, that's when he went to 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.600 that register. And so it was very very scary, and 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.280 like I obviously, like I mean, I was five years old, 0:14:57.320 --> 0:14:59.080 and so I don't like I don't. 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:00.920 Remember the like I don't remember it. 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:04.440 But for some reason while driving through the gunfire on 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:07.680 Special Forces, like my brain and body like went into 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:12.240 like whoa, like full body trauma response, Like it was 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:16.520 something that I'd never experienced before, which was crazy anyway, So. 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.360 I ended Special Forces. This was the bonus that I 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:19.160 was trying to get to. 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:22.360 After the show ended, you turn in your armband, right, 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:25.640 and so ds Billy kept He keeps everybody's arm bands 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.440 from all of his seasons. And he messaged me and 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.000 he was like, hey, I want to send you something, 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:30.960 like what's your address? 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:32.400 Opened it up. 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:34.480 It was a purse that his wife had made, and 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:36.960 then it also was my arm band and he was like, 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:38.800 I really He was like normally I keep these, but 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.440 I thought you would really like it, and like we 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:41.560 loved having you. 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:42.440 You were a joy to us. 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:46.600 And when I touched it, my like, I like just 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:49.160 like broke, like it took me right back there. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.880 It was very scary. It was very weird, very weird 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:52.760 feeling for my body. 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.520 So Special Forces got a lot of tears out of me, 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:58.400 but a lot of good tears. Can't complain very grateful 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.720 I happened. Very grateful I did it. I cry when 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.560 things are over, and so that's a that's a good 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.480 thing for me. And once my voice is over, I sobbed. 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.200 James Jr. Soab Mas Sanger sobbed Dance while I'm sobbed. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.080 Dancing with the Stars, Oh my god, saw me at 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:13.640 the end of Dance with the Stars was so bad. 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:15.880 Jenna was like, Jojo, you look like a sore, fucking 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:18.040 loser right now. Pull it together. And I was like, 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.200 I am not crying because we got second. I am 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:22.640 crying because it's done. And she was like, I know 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:25.240 that everyone knows that, but anyone who doesn't know you 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:26.760 was thinking you're crying because you got a second. 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:28.360 I was like, I could care less. I'm just sad 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.200 it's over. Anyways, that's enough. 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.440 I kind of gave you like seven or eight things 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:35.800 that made me cry and made me keep crying. I 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:39.360 hope you enjoyed this episode of Jojo Zema Now. I 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:41.640