1 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, and welcome back to this week's episode of 2 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: Dear Cheeks. I just want to say that your submissions 3 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: mean a lot to me, and I'm happy to help 4 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,599 Speaker 1: you through whatever you're trying to navigate. We've gotten a 5 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 1: lot of submissions on love relationships, which have been some 6 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 1: of my favorite questions, but you can submit your questions 7 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: on just about anything you guys, Maybe you need advice 8 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: on dealing with your in laws, or you need tips 9 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: on time management, or you just want to be a 10 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: little bit more confident. I get it. Feel free to 11 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: ask anything, but a friendly reminder to all my listeners, 12 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions on the questions that 13 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: you're submitting. I encourage everyone to seek help from a 14 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: professional if you're suffering an issue or hardship that requires 15 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: immediate attention. Okay, all right, so let's go right into 16 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: the first question. This one is from Garissa Hi Cheap. 17 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: So basically, I am thirty years old. My mom is 18 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: an addict. She's been an addict my whole life. I've 19 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: never had her in my life for a long period 20 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: of time. She's always been in and out. Basically, all 21 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: my family has already gave up on her or her 22 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: even making a recovery. She's forty five years old, she's 23 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 1: homeless currently, and I still have hope. I still cry 24 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 1: for her, and I still need her. I'm not saying 25 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: you know exactly what I'm going through, or if you 26 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,400 Speaker 1: do or you don't, but what do you think would 27 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: be the best for me hearing my story? I don't 28 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: want to let go because I'm afraid that if I 29 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: give up on her, and God forbid, one day she 30 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: does pass away or overdose or anything like that, that 31 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: I'm going to live with regret. And I don't want 32 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: to live with regret. I don't want to live like 33 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,199 Speaker 1: I was the bad daughter that didn't care, because that's 34 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: not who I am in my mind. She's still alive. 35 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like I'm grieving her while she's still alive. 36 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: Thank you for hearing me out. Oh my goodness, Garissa, 37 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: I'm sending you a big, big hug. I can hear 38 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: in your voice like the pain that you're carrying. And 39 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: first of all, what I hear is that you're not 40 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: ready to give up, and that is you're answering your 41 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: own question, to be honest, like if you're not ready 42 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: to give up. Don't You're going to know when you 43 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: just can't go on anymore, when trying is no longer 44 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: an option, and until that day, If I were you, 45 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: I would just send her messages of love for her 46 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: to know that she's not alone, that you still love her. 47 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: And like you said, she's homeless, I mean, I'd probably 48 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: just take her food. I mean, maybe giving her money 49 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: is not the best thing, but giving her food and 50 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: offering her a place to shower and things like that 51 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: maybe not your home because if you have children, I 52 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: totally understand that prayer has helped me through all of it, girl, 53 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: through my entire life. If it wasn't for my faith, 54 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: I don't know where I would be. So I highly 55 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: highly suggest that you continue to pray for her for 56 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: your heart, because you need a mommy too, and you 57 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: need to love yourself too, you know what I mean, 58 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 1: Like I think, understanding and being compassionate the fact that 59 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: what she's going through is truly a disease. But you 60 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: can't help someone if they're not ready to be helped, 61 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,639 Speaker 1: if they don't want to change. You know, the best 62 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,119 Speaker 1: thing you could do is say hey, I'm here and 63 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: create your boundaries, whatever those may be and no one 64 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: should make you feel bad. And you if you want 65 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: to be there for another ten years, you do that, 66 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: Cannie can You're going to know in your heart Okay, 67 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. I have to live my 68 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: life and I have to leave her in God's hands. 69 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 1: But I feel for you, and you're a great daughter. 70 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: You sound amazing and she is so blessed to have 71 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: you as a daughter. So I will be praying for 72 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: both of you. Thank you so much for your question, 73 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: Caddie's I hope I helped. Okay, alright, so our next 74 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: emission comes from Jessica. Let's hear it, Hey, Chicky, I 75 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: am the owner of a small little business. I really 76 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: want to grow my business. I have my four kids. 77 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: Tom also a preschool teacher. I also work and I 78 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: go to school, and I also take care of my kids. 79 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: But I think that sometimes it puts me down, like 80 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: the campuses down, seeing those weekends, you know, the days off. 81 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 1: I'm right there with them, but sometimes I feel that 82 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I need to help. I 83 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm doing right, I'm doing wrong. No second, 84 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 1: any recommendations out there, Please let me know, Jessica First 85 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: of all, it is not you are my hero, as 86 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 1: is good job. I am proud of you. I am 87 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: your cheerleader. And look, you have four kids. I'm sure 88 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: they're beautiful. I don't know their ages. I'm not sure 89 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 1: if you're a single mother. But I was raised by 90 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 1: a single mother. My mother had five kids. It's this 91 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 1: so I get it. With time, I start to realize 92 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: as I got older that my mom was doing everything 93 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,559 Speaker 1: she was doing for us. So it made me feel 94 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: better knowing in the s s, the wells, and now 95 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 1: I get her more than ever. I think what is 96 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: the most important is communication. Communication with your children and 97 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: let them know. Look, I know I'm not here all 98 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: the time. It's that, but I'm doing this. I'm working 99 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 1: for you guys to have a roof over your head, 100 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: for you guys to have clothes on your back, for 101 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: you guys to have food in your tummies, you know, 102 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 1: And it's just communicating that to them, and little by 103 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: little they will understand. And when you do have time 104 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: to spend time with them, make sure it's quality time. 105 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: Make sure you're not on your phone. If you're really 106 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 1: not going to work on a Sunday, girl, put your 107 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: phone away. Your small business can wait quality time. It's 108 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: all about quality, not quantity. So that's my best advice 109 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: because you're doing a lot and I think it's amazing. 110 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, girl, you're leaving 111 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: this for them, So don't feel bad. It's just communicate 112 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: with them. That's what my mom did and it really helped, 113 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: and sometimes I was hard on her. I'm not gonna 114 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: lie as as a daughter, I'm saying it. But now 115 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: that I'm older, we appreciate things when we're young. We 116 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: don't see the value of things until we get older 117 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: and we start working ourselves, you know, and realizing what 118 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: life is really about and how hard it could be sometimes. 119 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: So Jessica, is the it is. But I hope I 120 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 1: helped Naso and and honestly, you're awesome, girl, You're awesome. 121 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: Keep it up alright, guys. So our final question comes 122 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: from Maria. Hi Chucky. First of all, I love you, 123 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: and I love your family and your mom. I just 124 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: wanted to ask. So I recently found out I was pregnant. 125 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: My mom was not in the picture. I was raised 126 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: by my grandma. I was wondering if you were to 127 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: find out you're pregnant. How would you find the motivation 128 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: to be strong without your mom being there? Any advice 129 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: do you have for that? I love you, Oh Marie, 130 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,920 Speaker 1: I love you too. Thank you so much. Congratulations first 131 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: and foremost on your pregnancy, on your blessings them. Look, 132 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: I always think about that all the time, Like if 133 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: I were to get pregnant. I saw my mom hold 134 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: my sister's hand, Jackie's hand, when she had Jayla, her firstborn, 135 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: and it was beautiful to see my mom like literally 136 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: guide her through it. So when my mom passed and 137 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: I was like, well, what about when I have kids? 138 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: How am I going to get through it? She's not 139 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: going to be there to hold my hand? And I 140 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: totally get it. I think more than anything, I'm praying 141 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: that you have a great partner that obviously helps a lot. 142 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: We are always going to need our mom, doesn't matter 143 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 1: how old we are, like, we're always going to need them. 144 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: I'm sorry that she's not in your life. I mean, 145 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: thank goodness for your grandma. Yes, okay, I want to 146 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: be there for my child, and sometimes all we gotta 147 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: do in life is hold our own hand, you know. 148 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: And I've thought about it a lot, so It's a 149 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: little hard for me to give you advice because I 150 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: get emotional when I think of like my mom not 151 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: being here. But I have no other choice. I'm gonna 152 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: be there, and I have to be strong for her. 153 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: That's how I see it, Like I I need to 154 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: be strong for both of us, you know, and for 155 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: the child that's coming. So I'm gonna be holding your 156 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: hand and spirit girl, I'm gonna be there with you, 157 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:47,839 Speaker 1: So don't worry. And you got this viossas He will 158 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 1: give us the strength to get through it. So I 159 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,959 Speaker 1: truly believe Thatso and again, congratulations, I'm so happy for you. 160 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: Thank you Garisa, Jessica, and Maria for submitting your questions. 161 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: I really hope I was able to help. I'm going 162 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,680 Speaker 1: to reiterate what I said at the start of the episode. 163 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 1: These are my thoughts and opinions on the questions that 164 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: are being submitted. I encourage everyone to seek help from 165 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: professionals if you're suffering an issue or hardship that requires 166 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: immediate attention. I love you all, and I'll see you 167 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: next week here on Dear Chickens lo samol mm hmm. 168 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,719 Speaker 1: This is a production of I Heart Radio and the 169 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: microL Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael 170 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeks That's c h i 171 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,559 Speaker 1: q u i s. For more podcasts from My Heart, 172 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever 173 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite podcasts