Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow, what's up, Bears Edition listener,
Speaker 1: It's Josh Johnson right for the Daily Show. You're about
Speaker 1: to hear an episode of one of our original daily
Speaker 1: show podcasts, Hold Up, hosted by me and Daily Show
Speaker 1: correspondent Duel Say Sloan, is where we take our office
Speaker 1: banter into a weekly war words about topics big and small.
Speaker 1: In this episode, we're talking chicken sandwiches versus hamburgers. We
Speaker 1: debate over our favorite option based on ranges in taste, temperature,
Speaker 1: and flavor. Tune in to find out which side of
Speaker 1: the debate we each land on. And if you like
Speaker 1: the show, check out the Hold Up podcast wherever you
Speaker 1: get your podcasts. Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your taste buds,
Speaker 1: give it that mouth tell you. Welcome to Hold Up everyone.
Speaker 1: I'm one of your co hosts. My name is Josh Johnson.
Speaker 1: I'm a writer for the show. Okay, I'm joyed by slow. Okay,
Speaker 1: I didn't know if you're really gonna let that pause
Speaker 1: sit there? All right, you are joined by Dulse Lizarious Sloane.
Speaker 1: It is me, welcoming you, Welcome in me. Hello's your
Speaker 1: ears attlettle. All right, well today, why you always looks
Speaker 1: not annoyed? Its tongue don't work. Look, my tongue works,
Speaker 1: all right. I'm using it right now to form words,
Speaker 1: so it works. If my tongue didn't work, it would
Speaker 1: just be a but it's not. It's fully formed words.
Speaker 1: Oh if you have a tongue. If you don't have
Speaker 1: a tongue, probably if your tongue didn't have any muscle
Speaker 1: to it, it would just be hanging and you'd be
Speaker 1: like own, tell you, yeah, you sound like Charlie Brown's daddy.
Speaker 1: Well yo, if I get a message from somebody to
Speaker 1: talk about they don't have a tongue, I am gonna laugh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they don't have a tomb, but they have thumbs, so
Speaker 1: they have. I'm gonna let you die they feel Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh bet thumbs extra fast. Today's episode is about in
Speaker 1: a way, in a sense, it might be it might
Speaker 1: end up that way. If you start you start start
Speaker 1: off just saying wild things, then maybe it's gonna be
Speaker 1: about you and your opinions. But right now it's about
Speaker 1: chicken sandwiches versus burgers. See, okay, which which place do
Speaker 1: you land? Ask yourself? Truly? All right. Do you like
Speaker 1: a nice juicy burger in between whatever your favorite type
Speaker 1: of bread is, Briosh sour dough, if anything that you
Speaker 1: like as a sandwich. This is the battle of sandwich
Speaker 1: is right? That we got chicken sandwich just coming in?
Speaker 1: Do you like them chopped like a barbecue? Do you
Speaker 1: like them hold like some Chick fil a? What do
Speaker 1: you what do you like? What? Is it a file
Speaker 1: a situation? Do you just want to cram a piece
Speaker 1: of breast meat in between the two buns, sauce it
Speaker 1: up real good and eat it up? Maybe that's your
Speaker 1: whole vibe. No sandwich is wrong in this scenario. It's
Speaker 1: just about which one is better. Okay, So Josh tell
Speaker 1: the people. First of all, I'm gonna let everybody ever
Speaker 1: to get people time to guess, play the music. Josh
Speaker 1: telling people where you stand on this, because I don't
Speaker 1: think that they I think this is gonna be like
Speaker 1: the chocolate of Vanilla situation. They're gonna think that they know,
Speaker 1: but they don't. Let me tell you the crime and
Speaker 1: the superior superior sounds racist. Go ahead, and that's just
Speaker 1: it's a word. This can't be attached to the thing.
Speaker 1: All the time, some things are just better. Come on,
Speaker 1: let me so you are just talking about the supremacy,
Speaker 1: the sandwich supremacy, the full sandwich supremacy of the burger.
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all knew he was gonna
Speaker 1: say that. What else would he say? Let me? Let
Speaker 1: me tell you right now, Come on in a burger,
Speaker 1: Come on in a sandwich as old as time, Like
Speaker 1: Beauty and the Beast. Yes, yes, the beauty is the bread.
Speaker 1: The beast is the meat. The beauty and the beast
Speaker 1: of sandwiches. It's too good, and it's too classic, and
Speaker 1: it's too versatile. Bobby Besha I heard in a wild Listen.
Speaker 1: I have a question, m M, do you only consist?
Speaker 1: Would you partake in a burger? Okay that wasn't on
Speaker 1: a bunt? Did you grow up eating burgers on bunts?
Speaker 1: It's a part of my life I'd like to forget. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you okay like me? M. Your mother didn't always
Speaker 1: buy buns or we we had the mismatch of bun
Speaker 1: to meet ratio that only happens with hot dogs. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: because sometimes you can buy uh if you buy like
Speaker 1: package to burgers like frozen package burgers. You might you
Speaker 1: might get twelve in the in the box of frozen burgers,
Speaker 1: but then in the actual bun package, there's uh, there's eight.
Speaker 1: And they gotta do that. I remember comment talking about
Speaker 1: that hot dog hot dog bun math just for the
Speaker 1: ways of the numbers. To get even, you gotta buy
Speaker 1: forty of each. Yeah. Yeah, that's where you meet up
Speaker 1: with it. Okay, that's why people at barbecues don't have
Speaker 1: a problem, because they got so many that it lined
Speaker 1: up right, you know. I can't say that there were
Speaker 1: times where sorry, I'm sorry, what what remember? No, it's
Speaker 1: just funny. Reminded me of I remember in Chicago, which
Speaker 1: of my friends as he was having a hot dog,
Speaker 1: but he just had the regular sliced bread. I remember
Speaker 1: saying to him. I was like, oh man, we really
Speaker 1: are poor, huh because it's not like the hot dog
Speaker 1: bun is that much more expensive, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like it's really still just bread. But the fact that
Speaker 1: he was like, all right, dog, look all I really
Speaker 1: got is these uh is these uh what's it called?
Speaker 1: Was it bunny bread? He's like, all really, guys, buddy bread?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, okay, but here's the thing, though,
Speaker 1: he's being the most cost effective. Yeah, what you have
Speaker 1: to do when you are broke, Yes, I'm with you.
Speaker 1: All I know is I got so accustomed yeah yeah
Speaker 1: to eating. Not that we didn't have the money, but
Speaker 1: a lot of times it was just down to, like,
Speaker 1: I'm not a big bread person to start with. Oh
Speaker 1: I see, yeah, yeah, I do like the hot dog
Speaker 1: bunt though, but a lot really but what but a
Speaker 1: lot of time a hot dog buns, I end up
Speaker 1: pulling a lot of the bread off. Okay, who's on
Speaker 1: a hot dog bun? One side I was thicker than
Speaker 1: the other anyway, what but they cook hot dog buns.
Speaker 1: The base of a hot dog bun, isn't the bottom
Speaker 1: The side of a hot dog bun is at actually
Speaker 1: the bottom okay, bakes up, it fluffs up, but then
Speaker 1: you're cutting it through the middle. But then isn't that
Speaker 1: middle So can't that middle be even? Sometimes? Because I
Speaker 1: feel like it's it's not as it's not always super even.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is that, Okay, a lot of times
Speaker 1: the hot dog buns I end up pulling them out
Speaker 1: of the bread off anyway. Yeah, but with hamburger buns.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it would be too much bread. So because I'm
Speaker 1: not a bread person to start with. So when my
Speaker 1: mom would make burgers, she would do it with regular
Speaker 1: bread and I loved it. Yeah, because she bought hot
Speaker 1: dog because like when people buy burger, Like, she bought
Speaker 1: burger buns one time for like, because you're My birthday
Speaker 1: is July four, so I've been at every fucking barber
Speaker 1: on the planet. She bought buns one time and they
Speaker 1: were for like there were the people that were coming.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, but did you get regular bread?
Speaker 1: And She's like, I got buns. I was like, but
Speaker 1: did you hear regular bread? M I got bunns? Is
Speaker 1: I gonna ask you? That's not that's not gonna help me.
Speaker 1: I need the particular bread we're gonna do smush this
Speaker 1: other bread to make this work. I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this for you. So what I'm saying is I
Speaker 1: prefer if I'm gonna have an amburgessa mm hmm, like
Speaker 1: a restaurant, obviously you're not getting a regular bread. But
Speaker 1: like now that you can get a burger as a
Speaker 1: rap because you know, I love tortilla, So now that
Speaker 1: you can get a burger as a rap game changer. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: game changer. Let me tell you now. What I also
Speaker 1: want you to tell me is how the the deeply
Speaker 1: stunted I'll just say stunted because it's not its fault.
Speaker 1: It can only be one thing, the chicken sandwich. Tell
Speaker 1: me how that matches up in any way to the
Speaker 1: verse utility that burgers bring to the table. Before I
Speaker 1: address this at tech, what I will do is proved
Speaker 1: you proved to me the versatilit tie. Okay, I can
Speaker 1: do it real quick, do a real quick um temperature
Speaker 1: for one, you can get a burger depending on where
Speaker 1: you are. You know, not every place does it, but
Speaker 1: it is possible with burgers to get something rare, medium, medium,
Speaker 1: well well done. Temperature alone adds four times to whatever
Speaker 1: type of burger you want to have. You I mean, okay,
Speaker 1: but that's just the nature of beef. Yeah's cooking chicken. Yeah,
Speaker 1: at different temperatures. No, we agree? So are you just
Speaker 1: you can only enjoy your chicken one way cooked? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there's different levels of cook to beef, which means
Speaker 1: there's different levels of cook to burger. This point that
Speaker 1: you're making, right, now is so wild it sounds like
Speaker 1: I said, Oh no, no, no no, This point that I'm
Speaker 1: making right now should be opening your mind. Listen, all right,
Speaker 1: if you want, you can cook chicken at any temperature
Speaker 1: you want. Will you make it out alive? Hold the fuck? No?
Speaker 1: But there's nothing stopping you from cooking chicken at different temperatures. No, No,
Speaker 1: what's stopping you is it won't be It will be
Speaker 1: nasty if you have rare chicken. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Even the idea right now is disgusting to me. Whereas,
Speaker 1: how do we know? What do you mean? How do
Speaker 1: we know? Don't try to give me the poison myself.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, how do we know? Has anyone tried? Yes,
Speaker 1: and they've all died of salmonella poisoning. Hey baby, my
Speaker 1: sickness or my fitness. But you're gonna get out of
Speaker 1: here somewhere. Yeah, saying this how you look something? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because I thought the wildest because like I thought the
Speaker 1: wildest thing was a steak being rare. Yeah, there is
Speaker 1: a lower temperature than rare. You know blue? Yeah, that's horrifying.
Speaker 1: Blue is I don't even play with blue at all.
Speaker 1: I don't even entertain the idea, Like if somebody gets
Speaker 1: a blue steak in front of me, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: thank you so much for telling me you were a killer.
Speaker 1: For those that don't know, when you order something blue,
Speaker 1: it's it's literally just slightly slightly touched on both sides
Speaker 1: by a hot pan to kill any bacteria and then
Speaker 1: serve to you like it makes sense. Cold blue is
Speaker 1: because it's still cold. Yeah, it's not even seared to
Speaker 1: the point of sealing it. And like it's not even
Speaker 1: like a rare one, like rare is you know, the
Speaker 1: it can potentially be cold in the middle. We're talking
Speaker 1: about a straight up steak that they were just like
Speaker 1: we flipped it on the pan twice to get rid
Speaker 1: of any liability on our side. But if you want
Speaker 1: to eat it like this, go ahead, have at it.
Speaker 1: But what's the difference between that and a beef tartar?
Speaker 1: Because beef tartar is completely uncooked beef. Not only have
Speaker 1: I never entertained the idea of a beef tartar, I
Speaker 1: refuse to look at a menu or a plate with
Speaker 1: a beef tartar on it because there are people in
Speaker 1: this world I don't I don't understand them, and I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think I know anyone personally, but the amount
Speaker 1: of people that I've seen have beef tartar with an
Speaker 1: uncooked egg on top. Bro I was just going to say,
Speaker 1: that is violence, all right. If you want to know
Speaker 1: what you can do going into twenty twenty three to
Speaker 1: be a better person, not that, stop doing that. Whatever
Speaker 1: whatever led you there, seek the help you need get out.
Speaker 1: That is such a whole horror rififying sight to see
Speaker 1: to see a raw egg on top of some raw beef,
Speaker 1: and then to just see somebody go to town. The
Speaker 1: first time I saw it, I actually thought it was
Speaker 1: it was fear Factor. I was watching a cooking channel
Speaker 1: and I thought, no, it has no nerd to be
Speaker 1: on the cooking channel. You didn't cook anything. I must
Speaker 1: have changed the channel to fear Factor. Joe Rogan is
Speaker 1: going to pop up in any second because this is
Speaker 1: a challenge, Yes that should only be taking place on
Speaker 1: network TV. Yes, for the good of the money of
Speaker 1: the company. Yes. And then when I found out it
Speaker 1: was a quote unquote dish, I was furious. Now there
Speaker 1: are people that are gonna say, hey, this is a
Speaker 1: dish of my culture. Because I don't think this is
Speaker 1: just why people to eat this. I think people of
Speaker 1: color in places do eat this. So we're not shitting
Speaker 1: because again I don't want your as people who consume
Speaker 1: American food, right, mm hmm, raw beef will make you sick? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because this is why I don't understand about this disch.
Speaker 1: Remember it would tell us not to eat cake batter
Speaker 1: because there was a raw egg in it and you
Speaker 1: might get salmonella. I wow, I'm glad to talk to
Speaker 1: you today because I made it through my whole life
Speaker 1: without ever hearing that that's why you were supposed to
Speaker 1: eat cake batter? Did that stop me and anybody I know? Fuck? No,
Speaker 1: I never know anybody get sick. No, No, I did
Speaker 1: not know that. You think I got sick making a
Speaker 1: dunking hind chocolate cake because I put two eggs in
Speaker 1: a third of a couple of oil in it. Now
Speaker 1: I'm here to tell the tale, Okay, I just for
Speaker 1: one just thinking about this making me noxious? Um, isn't
Speaker 1: it it? Like? Right? Like? What do you eat that?
Speaker 1: I'm first of all, we're putting rock, We're putting a
Speaker 1: sunny side up egg. You know why egg prices went
Speaker 1: up because all of these restaurants are throwing sunny side
Speaker 1: up eggs on a fucking hamburger. That's why the prices
Speaker 1: are growing up in these damn eggs. That's how we
Speaker 1: ran out. And then somebody were you the one that
Speaker 1: told me the real reason. I don't think so people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, it's avian fluid. Somebody was like, no,
Speaker 1: the subsidies are gone. We were doing Okay, there was
Speaker 1: South Camelin who told me there were egg subsidies for
Speaker 1: poultry farmers, and they ran out, and so the prices
Speaker 1: shot up because the government subsidies went away. Okay, I
Speaker 1: don't know it is true. What I'm saying is we're
Speaker 1: doing a lot with burgers, right. Yeah. The chicken sandwich,
Speaker 1: so one the chicken sandwich. You get your option, you can.
Speaker 1: You know, some people do a breast, some people do
Speaker 1: a thigh. I love the chicken sandwich. That just then
Speaker 1: one of them by, wow, really yeah, I've pre dark me. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will buy a pack of chicken thighs. M If
Speaker 1: I'm buying chicken, I'm buying chicken thighs. I'll buy chicken thighs,
Speaker 1: ground chicken or leg quarters. That's my order. And so
Speaker 1: this is thing. My chicken sandwich you can have fried,
Speaker 1: you can have a grilled, you have chicken salad sandwich
Speaker 1: on a croissant. That's always nice. So you're saying the
Speaker 1: different temperatures that you can get of meat of beef, right,
Speaker 1: there's different styles of cooking for a chicken sandwich, right,
Speaker 1: So like you don't often I mean, let's take a
Speaker 1: country five steak or like a million like you don't
Speaker 1: really see a lot of like breaded beef. H but
Speaker 1: we breaded chicken all damn jack. Right, And my least
Speaker 1: favorite chicken sandwich is a grilled chicken sandwich because my
Speaker 1: least favorite way of having chicken is grilled chicken. Okay,
Speaker 1: but because if you get grilled chicken, it's usually your
Speaker 1: breast and the breast is a dried's part. If you
Speaker 1: gave me a grilled chicken thigh sandwich, ye, now okay,
Speaker 1: So I just want to make sure that we're clear.
Speaker 1: Do you think that the chicken sandwich is more versatile
Speaker 1: than the burger? Yes, And you're saying that's because of
Speaker 1: the styles of cooking. So you're saying that you just
Speaker 1: gave me temperature I tried to say it was versas child.
Speaker 1: It's a totally different experience to right, And the difference
Speaker 1: of having a chicken salad sandwich compared to a fried
Speaker 1: chicken sandwich is definitely a different experience in your mouth.
Speaker 1: So we're talking about the versatility. You're giving me temperature,
Speaker 1: so we're both talking about cooking methods. It's still beef,
Speaker 1: it's still chicken. Yeah. Yeah, one is fried, one's grilled,
Speaker 1: and one is cooked and then you know, you make
Speaker 1: a little salad out of it. So we're talking about versatility.
Speaker 1: But I'm saying, is there's more that's a burger is grilled, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Burgers for the most part aren't getting deep fried, and
Speaker 1: no one's because we do pull pork sandwiches, but no
Speaker 1: one's doing pulled beef because because the chicken. Because the
Speaker 1: chicken salads there, which is basically killed the cooked chicken
Speaker 1: breaths that you pulled apart. So basically chicken salad is
Speaker 1: pulled chicken. Okay, I know why pork is the only
Speaker 1: one when we pull though by name, but everyone else
Speaker 1: is out here just getting stretched out. There's also something
Speaker 1: to be said for the different grades and types of beef,
Speaker 1: which I actually think range farther than chicken, because you
Speaker 1: can correct me if I'm wrong, But to my knowledge,
Speaker 1: it's like there's dark meat and there's white meat. There
Speaker 1: isn't chicken. That's like, oh, yes, this is um um
Speaker 1: Korean chicken specifically, right, so wagoo beef and stuff like
Speaker 1: that exactly. But again that goes to the nature of
Speaker 1: the meat that you're cooking, because you know how you
Speaker 1: can make savicha where you're using like lemon juice. Literally
Speaker 1: it's cooking the fish or lemon. And I thought always
Speaker 1: had sevich was a con job, honestly, because I remember
Speaker 1: my Uncle Joel making conk salad and he's squeezing like
Speaker 1: a tomato and like lemon and lime juice and coming
Speaker 1: up stuff. And I was like, age just saw me.
Speaker 1: Got said Uncle Joel, that's not cook He said, no,
Speaker 1: the lemon juice cooks the meat. And I said, no,
Speaker 1: Uncle Joe, heat cooked meat. So for me, my little
Speaker 1: nine year old brain was like, Negro, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: tell me that fruit cook shrimp. It's not gonna happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: somebody the acidity and a lemon made meat made a
Speaker 1: shrimp pink nah jar and it wasn't untime I saw
Speaker 1: somebody make it right. I was like, Okay, I mean sure,
Speaker 1: you know that's how If that's how you live your life,
Speaker 1: that's God you served. I hear you. But this ship
Speaker 1: is still a wild So the fact you can't use
Speaker 1: lemon juice to cook beef, you can't lose lemon juice
Speaker 1: to cook chicken because that's just the nature of the meat.
Speaker 1: So there are there's different types of chickens, but I
Speaker 1: think when it comes to the store, it's just here's
Speaker 1: chicken like you have. Like the first time I saw
Speaker 1: a black chicken at the Ranch ninety nine market in
Speaker 1: LA Like black skinned chicken. Okay, have we received this
Speaker 1: these African American chickens. N I have not? It is
Speaker 1: I mean, you're call the black chicken. But the skin's
Speaker 1: like purple almost. And the lady uh, very nice um
Speaker 1: Asian American woman, and she had in her cart and
Speaker 1: it was like me and some of my friends were like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's like oh yeah. She said it's good, you know,
Speaker 1: to make soups. It's you know, it's good for women's health.
Speaker 1: And I was like, right, right, right, right right, Coca
Speaker 1: coca cool, but kfca never gonna be flying up Church's
Speaker 1: Chicken's never gonna be flying up some purple skinned chicken. Everybody,
Speaker 1: we go, the fuck is this because Americans would believe
Speaker 1: that they just I would think the skin was artificially colored,
Speaker 1: because yeah, I'm only seen chickens one way. We are
Speaker 1: talking about the nature of the meats, because if even
Speaker 1: if there are different breeds of chicken, no one's telling
Speaker 1: us that because you got your angus beef, you got
Speaker 1: your wagu beef, and then you got your regular beefe. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But the only reason we know that there's different types
Speaker 1: of beef is because people have decided that there's higher
Speaker 1: price points on these other cut on these other Yeah.
Speaker 1: The grades, yeah, species, but that's also like there's grades
Speaker 1: and then there's species. Oh yeah, yeah, like an angus
Speaker 1: cow is a different kind of cow than like a
Speaker 1: dairy cow. M And then was it kobe, Yeah, there's Kobe,
Speaker 1: there's Wagu, Yeah, angus. These are just differently bread. It's
Speaker 1: like breeds of dog. It's also range though it's also ranged.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying there's not ranged, but it's like it's
Speaker 1: just we have to acknowledge it's just the nature of
Speaker 1: that animal, like we make you know, you're like age beef, yeah,
Speaker 1: which have always been confused about what do you mean,
Speaker 1: Like this beef has been aged for ninety days. I'm like,
Speaker 1: so this meat has just been out. Yeah, but they
Speaker 1: have to um there's I can't remember what it's called,
Speaker 1: but there's something delicate about the process where they they
Speaker 1: do have to like let it air out. That's why
Speaker 1: they have those smoke houses, why they have some of
Speaker 1: those um well, smoke meats is like different because it's
Speaker 1: like there's certain processes you do with certain animals, Like
Speaker 1: you know, we make sausage from pork. Now we're doing
Speaker 1: chicken sausage. Yeah. Uh, you know, we get bacon from pork,
Speaker 1: and apparently now we're doing turkey sausages. We all know
Speaker 1: turkey sausages a scam, and that's why we got to
Speaker 1: beat bacon is the real scam. I said, turkey bacon
Speaker 1: is a scam. Yeah, that's how I was saying. Let
Speaker 1: me let me tell you say this about burgers for
Speaker 1: a second as well. Is that I acknowledge that there is,
Speaker 1: in both good and bad ways, arrange with burgers. I've
Speaker 1: had truly, fundamentally, unequivocally disgusting burgers. Okay. I've had burgers
Speaker 1: that I'm like, I'm like, y'all, y'all shouldn't be allowed
Speaker 1: to put bread next to me at all, not even
Speaker 1: in the freezer. Okay. And then I've had burgers that
Speaker 1: made my day. Sometimes it was the pick me up
Speaker 1: I needed and lifted my soul. All right, it was
Speaker 1: the sole food that I needed. I've had burgers that
Speaker 1: when I bit into it was so crisp and all
Speaker 1: the right places, was so perfectly buttered on the bun
Speaker 1: was so like absolutely crunchy at the tip of the
Speaker 1: meat where it's pressed against the grill that it made
Speaker 1: me want to pray say my grace again. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1: And I also had chicken sandwiches, and in my experience,
Speaker 1: chicken sandwiches have less of a range, both in versatility
Speaker 1: and in like just the general vibe of I mean,
Speaker 1: to your point, yeah, breast meat chicken sandwich is gonna
Speaker 1: be mostly the same thing outside of the seasoning. I
Speaker 1: had a chicken thighed chicken sandwich for the first time.
Speaker 1: I was like, why is everybody not doing this? I
Speaker 1: would put the best chicken sandwich that I've ever had
Speaker 1: up against the best burger that I've ever had. And
Speaker 1: I think I would confidently serve both of them, two people,
Speaker 1: and let them decide which one they enjoyed more. And
Speaker 1: I think they'd come back and tell me that the
Speaker 1: burger was true true fire. Wouldn't that depend on where
Speaker 1: you've got the burger from? What do you mean in
Speaker 1: like a blind test? What I'm saying is that we've
Speaker 1: all have good burgers, We've all had bad burgers. We've
Speaker 1: had good chicken Sammies, We've had bad chicken Sammy's. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying that I feel like sometimes we give burgers
Speaker 1: more credit than they deserved. That's just what I just
Speaker 1: what I think. No, I'm with you, I'm with you. Look,
Speaker 1: you're allowed to your opinion. I just think that when
Speaker 1: it comes to juiciness and when it comes to grip,
Speaker 1: because let's let's let's spend a quick second talking about
Speaker 1: the grip of a sandwich, all right, when you're holding
Speaker 1: on to that thing, I have the Sammy by the
Speaker 1: love handles, okay, side to side, Okay. I think that
Speaker 1: for me, I've seen less slippage with burgers than with
Speaker 1: chicken sandwiches because the chicken sandwich was not necessarily made
Speaker 1: to go in the patty form even a feele. First
Speaker 1: of all, I love how you say for like because
Speaker 1: I feel like the rest of us are saying it wrong.
Speaker 1: I feel like all of us are not giving it
Speaker 1: the respect that it deserves. Well, that's very kind. I
Speaker 1: appreciate you appreciating it. Hey man, these fee les get
Speaker 1: in deep. I love it. Um. Well, this is the
Speaker 1: other thing about burgers, Okay that I don't think you're
Speaker 1: because you brought up the temperatures of meat, but you
Speaker 1: did not bring up the types of meat that can't
Speaker 1: be burgers. Okay, I mean I thought I did, but
Speaker 1: maybe I missed something. No, because you didn't talk about
Speaker 1: the turkey burger. M you can talk about the veggie burger.
Speaker 1: I mean I wanted to level the playing field somewhat
Speaker 1: because now if I if I hit you with veggie
Speaker 1: burger turkey burger, I don't think chicken has a chance. Listen,
Speaker 1: First of all, we don't know the turkey burgers are
Speaker 1: trash everyone no one likes them. No one likes them.
Speaker 1: You eat them because you have to, because your doctor
Speaker 1: told you that you're gonna lose you because you're in trouble. Yes,
Speaker 1: veggie burgers are because vegetarians can't hold onto the fact
Speaker 1: that they can't eat whatever they fucking want anymore. Because
Speaker 1: I was about a black bean burger. This is the
Speaker 1: thing that's still a veggie because the thing is a
Speaker 1: black bean burger still has rice and carrots and other
Speaker 1: ship in it. You didn't make a whole patty out
Speaker 1: of black beabs. Okay, it's still I remember when the
Speaker 1: bulk of burger came out, changing nigga's lives. Okay, these
Speaker 1: impossible burgers, we may get sued, but I'm telling you
Speaker 1: there's meeting that bitch. There's meat. We've all had an
Speaker 1: impossible burgers said, you won't lie to me to day.
Speaker 1: You will not impossible. Yes, I know you. Nigga just
Speaker 1: put beat juice in here. So if I cooked this rare,
Speaker 1: it's gonna like blood is coming out this. A lot
Speaker 1: of these like these veggie I remember asking a nutrition
Speaker 1: like my nutrition is on my old nutritions. I was like, question,
Speaker 1: can I have these veggie sausage patties? And she said,
Speaker 1: let me look them up. I was like thinking, I
Speaker 1: told her the company and she looked him up, but
Speaker 1: she looked at all the ingredients. Yeah, and she was like,
Speaker 1: I'd rather you eat pork. Wow. I said, what she said,
Speaker 1: this is a chemistry test. Wow. She said, this is
Speaker 1: supposed to be the alternative. She said, there's so many
Speaker 1: chemicals in this. She said, your body can break down
Speaker 1: pork this. She's like, just eat the meat. Wow. She said,
Speaker 1: don't need a bunch. And he's like, obviously, don't need
Speaker 1: the whole back. But like she said, two of these.
Speaker 1: She said, Yeah, you look at the calories and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. She said, but there's she said, there's so
Speaker 1: many chemicals in here, so many yeah, so many chemicals,
Speaker 1: so many adams, all this other stuff. She's like, just
Speaker 1: eat regular sausage, wow, because your body can break it down.
Speaker 1: And I was like, she's also the one that told
Speaker 1: me that fruit was a car. Oh yeah yeah. And
Speaker 1: I said, excuse me, yeah, excuse mate, fruit, miss lady,
Speaker 1: it's fruit. He said, fruit is a car. I said,
Speaker 1: you're telling me that fruit and bread man that ain't
Speaker 1: the same thing in the body in the Bible there,
Speaker 1: like sometimes I don't even know why I try. Yeah, Like, dude,
Speaker 1: I've never know, I was like my mom in a
Speaker 1: moment that what I just said that back to you
Speaker 1: in the body in the Bible. So but maybe she's
Speaker 1: so happy. Yeah, I need to shout out Mary Anne Hill.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, media here in the body, there are
Speaker 1: there are fruits that process like carbs. No, it's all
Speaker 1: a card all fruits because like whatever started because like
Speaker 1: my littuatric she was telling me, it's like I can't
Speaker 1: have do you know that's all this weight I can't
Speaker 1: I couldn't have tropical fruit. Also, you know what I
Speaker 1: couldn't have that'll surprise a lot of people. Grapes? Really? Why? Why?
Speaker 1: Why grapes? Because he says grapes have as much candy
Speaker 1: as sugar as candy. Oh I can see that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: especially you can pop them really easy and pop them
Speaker 1: like candies. You ever have potting candy grapes. I've stayed
Speaker 1: away from them. I don't want to like a new thing.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. Put them in you said
Speaker 1: it was in the fridge for a good minute, and
Speaker 1: the cold, cold, cold like cal or like pop in
Speaker 1: the freezer. Don't want to get frozen frozen because the
Speaker 1: frozen grape is disgusting but also probably crack two. But
Speaker 1: I can candy grapes cold, cold, cold, Yeah, you can
Speaker 1: sell a bunch of carnibles all day. But also, who
Speaker 1: the fuck asked for this? Ask for the grapple science.
Speaker 1: But the thing about the grapple is that grapples don't
Speaker 1: smell like grapes. They smell like purple grape flavor. Grape
Speaker 1: flavor don't taste like grapes. Grape flavor is what purple
Speaker 1: tastes like. I feel like every fruit can't be a car, Like, like,
Speaker 1: there's no way the avocado is a that's such a
Speaker 1: fatty fruit. Well, it's technically a fruit, but every fruit
Speaker 1: is not a car. But the same way that, like
Speaker 1: every fruit's not sweet, like technically combers are a fruit.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but yeah, what kind of lunatic would put
Speaker 1: that in a fruit salad? Did you ever hear that quote?
Speaker 1: It's like, um, being intelligent is knowing that a tomato
Speaker 1: has a fruit, but common sense is knowing not to
Speaker 1: put it in a fruit salad. I did see that, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think that it did sum up what intelligent was.
Speaker 1: I heard it in high school and I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: ye'll rarely be out here just thinking about I want
Speaker 1: to ask you a question about a couch maal okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, all right about toppings sides, I can tell
Speaker 1: you I dated a man, dated a man the one
Speaker 1: the white pause me well, asking to marry them, two
Speaker 1: different things. I saw this grown man order burger plane, yeah,
Speaker 1: just catch up in cheese, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: gotta get out of this. Really, I gotta get have
Speaker 1: this because he eats like a child. Just catch him
Speaker 1: and cheese, though, like what is it because he didn't
Speaker 1: get pickles. I just it just was the vibes, and
Speaker 1: it was just like Also, he was like, I want
Speaker 1: to go somewhere completely different. And he was stressed because
Speaker 1: I don't want to eat a burger in Hawaii. I
Speaker 1: want to eat something else, anything else. Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to try maybe Hawaiian food, right, yeah, a roast, just
Speaker 1: anything anything, you know, a spam much with the mashobie
Speaker 1: and neat tarot something. Don't laugh while you do it.
Speaker 1: So it wasn't a laugh. It was pure lustration. Oh okay, right,
Speaker 1: give me some things. Hum and so I just want
Speaker 1: and I just he keeps stressing me about this basalt burgers,
Speaker 1: but salt burgers, but salt burger. I take a bite
Speaker 1: of said burger, expecting my eyes to he expected. You
Speaker 1: remember that scene in Pulp Ficture where they opened the
Speaker 1: suitcase and the light comes out, or in Atlanta when
Speaker 1: he opens his Jr. Cricket's box and the light from
Speaker 1: the limon pepper wains hits him. That's what he thought
Speaker 1: was going to happen. M I took a bite on
Speaker 1: and fuck, I pressed, and I knew I was gonna
Speaker 1: be because when he said, when I saw him hold it,
Speaker 1: I was like that same. This isn't what it's not
Speaker 1: doing what you think it's doing. It's not giving what
Speaker 1: it's supposed to give. It wasn't golding what it's supposed
Speaker 1: to go. Okay, that's jeeves. That that is where it
Speaker 1: comes to taste and where it's hard, where even when
Speaker 1: I recommend places like I did it, I did it
Speaker 1: even before we started recording. I recommend it to everyone
Speaker 1: that works on this podcast, some burghers that I hope
Speaker 1: they even like, because now if they don't like them,
Speaker 1: they'll be like, well, Josh's mouth has gone haywire because
Speaker 1: he loves these and this is not good. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So I love said I said to
Speaker 1: my mother one day, she said she didn't like pomegrant.
Speaker 1: That sold you, right, okay? And I told her her
Speaker 1: mouth is broken. And then she proceeded to tell me
Speaker 1: that my tongue is flat. And I can truly tell you,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. Yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: if that means the same thing is what you just said.
Speaker 1: Or I said your mouth is broken. She said your
Speaker 1: tongue is flat, and I was like, again, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't you've lost me. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love my mama. But also when I heard it, it
Speaker 1: was I must defend myself. And this is this is
Speaker 1: where I think. This is where I think the burger
Speaker 1: starts to edge its way out past the chicken sandwich
Speaker 1: is with the toppings, with the way then what is
Speaker 1: the topping? Okay? Sorry, no, no, you f what is
Speaker 1: a topping that you can put on a burger? M
Speaker 1: that you cannot put? Oh? This is why I say
Speaker 1: edge out though, because there is no can't. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying when I put if there's ketchup and mustard on
Speaker 1: a burger, I'm I'm enjoying myself. Right, I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: want or knee ketchup and mustard on my chicken sandwich.
Speaker 1: Ketchup and mustards don't go on a chicken. But but
Speaker 1: do you see what I mean? How Like in those situations,
Speaker 1: I start to feel like the burger is edging it
Speaker 1: out for me, because it's like, if I want to
Speaker 1: enjoy the tanginess of some mustard, I can put that
Speaker 1: on my burger, whereas a chicken sandwich doesn't. No, I
Speaker 1: don't need that, I don't want that. No, you can,
Speaker 1: I depends on the now. I Okay, this is the thing,
Speaker 1: M I me, M. Don't necessarily enjoy ketchup. Okay, the
Speaker 1: only time I eat ketch up I almost almost said eat.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Only time I eat to ketch up.
Speaker 1: One time you catch up is on a hot dog.
Speaker 1: Yes you mentioned that before. Yeah, sometimes you catch up
Speaker 1: on a hot dog or a McDonald's cheeseburger because that's
Speaker 1: how they do there. Yeah. Right, So there's not a
Speaker 1: lot of situations where I even eat catch up. You
Speaker 1: can put lettuce and tomato on a chick. One of
Speaker 1: my favorite things is a fried chicken club or deluxe
Speaker 1: fried chicken sandwich where you get your lettuce, tomato, your onions,
Speaker 1: your cheese, maybe sometimes even some bacon too. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm with you. I just feel like in a burger.
Speaker 1: You know, there are things like, for instance, this is
Speaker 1: another one where this is where it starts. To get
Speaker 1: out landed. You gotta go to your cheeburger cheeburgers for this.
Speaker 1: You gotta go to some of your other like dying
Speaker 1: in restaurants to get this. But have I been You've
Speaker 1: been to a Cheatburger Cheatburger? Oh yeah, uh, where are
Speaker 1: those at? There's some in the South. There's not that many.
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's that many to begin with.
Speaker 1: But I had one in my collegetown in Chreeveport, Louisiana,
Speaker 1: and then there was one in an airport in It
Speaker 1: definitely wasn't Jackson, but I was in an airport in
Speaker 1: the South and there was a Chieburger Chee Burger. Now
Speaker 1: I will say my favorite fast food burger place is
Speaker 1: water Burger. Yeah. Yeah. It was very good. To the
Speaker 1: point that I was in the Dallas Airport and it
Speaker 1: was in the other terminal, and this is one of
Speaker 1: the few times i'd got into the airport at a
Speaker 1: good time and I walked the I think it was
Speaker 1: like round trip a thirty something almost forty minutes. Geez
Speaker 1: to go get this burger before I went back to LA.
Speaker 1: This is my thing those places right that have either
Speaker 1: the good burger or the special. And I called all
Speaker 1: a topping usually a condiment to me, it's it's really
Speaker 1: just condiments that are that are toppings. But to me,
Speaker 1: a topping like an onion ring, is something that you
Speaker 1: see on some burger, sometimes offered, and I've had it before,
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna lie. The way they did it
Speaker 1: was just right because it wasn't it wasn't chaos right.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a hard onion ring that was gonna be
Speaker 1: crunching and fighting as you tried to eat your burger.
Speaker 1: It was actually a really nice, flat onioned ring that
Speaker 1: was perfectly breaded and went right under the bun onto
Speaker 1: the paddy, and with every bite you got a little
Speaker 1: bit of onion and that's how you got your onions
Speaker 1: instead of diced. And I thought that was great. And
Speaker 1: if I was eating a chicken sandwich, I would I
Speaker 1: don't think i'd ever mix an onion ring with a
Speaker 1: chicken sandwich on the sandwich, I can tell you. The
Speaker 1: time that I have to have a burger, yeah, is
Speaker 1: when it's a special time in your young girl's life. Oh,
Speaker 1: I can I can see. I've heard that before. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I don't know why it is, yeah,
Speaker 1: but it has to happen. Look, I'll tell you right
Speaker 1: now there are certain chicken sandwiches that do make me
Speaker 1: a bit weak. Tell me when when there is hype
Speaker 1: around a chicken sandwich. I don't know what happens to me.
Speaker 1: I will not even just Popeyes. It'll be anybody being like, hey,
Speaker 1: our new chicken sandwich. I act like I haven't had
Speaker 1: chicken before. I'll get in a line. You're getting a line.
Speaker 1: I'll get in a line. I won't get in a
Speaker 1: line first day. I'm not gonna get in the longest line.
Speaker 1: But I'll wait in the line to be like, let
Speaker 1: me go ahead and see, just in case it's my
Speaker 1: new favorite chicken sandwich. It never is. Have we talked
Speaker 1: about as a society, because I don't think we've one.
Speaker 1: We truly have not processed COVID yet. No. No, the
Speaker 1: fact that we've all been collectively traumatized. But have we
Speaker 1: talked about as a community the pure on brawls m
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yea. The Popeye chicken sandwich, and then when
Speaker 1: you finally got one, you were like, this is just
Speaker 1: a sandwich. It's just a sandwich with the same season,
Speaker 1: and that you nobody should there should have been now
Speaker 1: person outside of the Popeye's yelling racial slurs. Yeah, these
Speaker 1: lines should not. What I don't understand is I don't
Speaker 1: remember how it got to that point. Society has been
Speaker 1: breaking down for quite a while. I'll tell you right
Speaker 1: now that why was the chump had it was? It
Speaker 1: was in twenty were from twenty sixteen twenty nineteen. We
Speaker 1: changed as people in those three years. I feel like
Speaker 1: there's just been a breakdown of just how we talk
Speaker 1: to each other, how we look at each other, what
Speaker 1: we want. I think we're talking about some lost people
Speaker 1: right now, you know, and not just because they lined up.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about the fights, I'm talking about the slurs
Speaker 1: I'm talking about I'm talking about the level of hype
Speaker 1: that you even let come around a chicken sandwich from
Speaker 1: a place that already sells chicken, so you know what
Speaker 1: their chicken sandwich is gonna taste like Also, didn't they
Speaker 1: already have I think they had had before, but I
Speaker 1: don't think they basically just ran one of the best
Speaker 1: marketing campaigns in the history of people because it was
Speaker 1: really like hot in business classes. I couldn't even understand
Speaker 1: how people were so swept up in it because I
Speaker 1: didn't have one for maybe three months until after it
Speaker 1: came out. And that wasn't me trying to avoid It's
Speaker 1: just I live in New York and there's a Popeye's
Speaker 1: near me, and there was a line there one time,
Speaker 1: but then they stopped selling it for a little while,
Speaker 1: and it, Yeah, it was crazy. I just couldn't. I
Speaker 1: just really could not understand why people work like I
Speaker 1: just could, like, it's Popeyes is good, but it's not
Speaker 1: fist fight in a parking lot. I think I don't
Speaker 1: know if they've created scarcity. I mean truly, ask yourself
Speaker 1: if you've ever been into anything worth losing a tooth over. No,
Speaker 1: then I think I think we have our answer. I
Speaker 1: think we're all there now. So I'll say this. With
Speaker 1: the chicken salad, you can get a you can get
Speaker 1: a wrap, you can get it on a croissant. You
Speaker 1: can get it on toast. You get a regular bread,
Speaker 1: you can get it on the blood's diversity in the bread.
Speaker 1: Then the way that you cook it. It's fried, grilled,
Speaker 1: it's a chicken salad sandwid. You can get white meat,
Speaker 1: you can get dark meat. There's a lot of versatility
Speaker 1: for the chicken salmon, right, you can put it in
Speaker 1: a rap. It's very good. I'll just say it. For burgers,
Speaker 1: sometimes they're too thick, sometimes they're too thin. Um. The
Speaker 1: issue of the there's a lot of times right, because
Speaker 1: I've finally got I've gotten to the point in the
Speaker 1: past ten years or started ordering things medium well. I
Speaker 1: mean well, John, okay, because that's just how we can
Speaker 1: up dry well, that's just how you grew up. Now,
Speaker 1: I get things medium well. But sometimes you get things
Speaker 1: medium well, people think it's medium and then you just
Speaker 1: end up with a murder show on a bun. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: so I can't handle seeing um bloody meat. M just
Speaker 1: is that's just who I am. Um. Okay. So in closing, Uh, friends, Americans,
Speaker 1: me your taste buds, give it a mouth. Tell you
Speaker 1: I had to ruin it. Uh, you wanted me to
Speaker 1: about the power and the the overall supremacy of the burger, okay,
Speaker 1: to its temp, from its type, to its titillating on
Speaker 1: your taste buds factors, all right, the fat, the salt,
Speaker 1: the acid, all of all the really delicious things that
Speaker 1: come that come with cooking meat. Well it gets taken
Speaker 1: to another level with a burger. Now, yes, you can
Speaker 1: have a turkey burger if you want while to do that.
Speaker 1: You can have a veggie burger, all right, nutritious option,
Speaker 1: But the burger reigns supreme. And with that we kick
Speaker 1: it over to you, the listener. What are you really feeling?
Speaker 1: What do you like to bite into? Is it a nice,
Speaker 1: juicy burger? Is it a scrumptious chicken sandwich? You let
Speaker 1: us know, all right, because we care and we want
Speaker 1: to know who you think is right? All right? If
Speaker 1: you're looking up catch up with us in other places.
Speaker 1: I have my own podcast, that Josh Johnson Show. It
Speaker 1: comes out every Thursday where if you get your podcasts,
Speaker 1: and if you're looking to catch up with Dulsey, you
Speaker 1: catch me on this podcast. Wild huh. Hold up, y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all have a great day and a great weekend. Um,
Speaker 1: we will catch you in the next one. Explore more
Speaker 1: shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the
Speaker 1: Daily Show wherever you get your podcast. Watch The Daily
Speaker 1: Show weeknights and eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and
Speaker 1: stream full episodes anytime on Fair Amount Plus. This has
Speaker 1: been a Comedy Central podcast