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Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, a production of iHeartRadio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network.

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Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically Black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 2: talk back.

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Speaker 3: What's up, y'all?

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Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of

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Speaker 2: We Talk Black, a show dedicated to these niggas and

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Speaker 2: these hoes. Oh, not the niggas and hoes again.

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Speaker 3: We talk black for Black History Month, okay? Hey, y'all.

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Speaker 3: It's Tan Bam. I love y'all.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I haven't been telling them I love

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Speaker 2: them a couple weeks, but I do love y'all. I

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Speaker 2: want to remind y'all that you are very much loved

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Speaker 2: by me.

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Speaker 3: Love you too, AJ. How's your weekend? My weekend was

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Speaker 3: about nothing, child. I ain't do shit. And I can't

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Speaker 3: wait to this weekend to not do shit. You're not

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Speaker 3: going to watch the Super Bowl? Is that this week? Oh, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I'm definitely going to try to find me a little

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Speaker 3: kickback this weekend. Yeah. I'm into that. This weekend. I forgot.

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Speaker 3: Who going to the Super Bowl? I didn't do anything.

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Speaker 3: We haven't been following. I know the 49ers. The red

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Speaker 3: team and the blue team. Is that really who's going

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Speaker 3: to the Super Bowl? A red team and a blue team?

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Speaker 3: So I know the 49ers. I know there's a red one.

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Speaker 3: The Chiefs. The Chiefs are going. They're red. The 49ers?

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Speaker 3: What color are they? Are they blue? Red team, right? Okay,

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Speaker 3: then it's red against red. So it's Chiefs and 49ers.

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Speaker 3: It's a blood. It's a blood Super Bowl. Hold on.

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Speaker 2: Y'all make sure we know what the fuck we talk about.

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Speaker 2: Y'all can tell we don't watch sports like that.

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Speaker 3: It's the Chiefs. Travis Kelton. It's Taylor Swift. I thought

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Speaker 3: he played for the 49ers. I'm wrong. He played for

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Speaker 3: the Chiefs.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 3: Nah, I know that. So this is Taylor Swift's first

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Speaker 3: Super Bowl, apparently. I just hate... Yeah, so it's two

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Speaker 3: red teams. I just hate.

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Speaker 2: How they got her taking over goddamn NFL, man.

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Speaker 3: This is just disgusting. She didn't do it, though. She

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Speaker 3: just supported her dude. And everybody just making it about her.

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Speaker 2: She has literally come in and they have tried to

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Speaker 2: take over swag surfing.

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Speaker 3: And also... fades at this point okay.

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Speaker 2: Well you saw the swag sir ain't no way they

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Speaker 2: taking it over because that shit was very uh it

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Speaker 2: wasn't sturdy it wasn't sturdy at all and in the

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Speaker 2: fade that is the funniest shit to me it's just

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Speaker 2: it's how america was founded it really is stupid internet

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Speaker 2: news that's what the fuck america was founded on on

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Speaker 2: a motherfucker trying to say they started something that they

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Speaker 2: didn't you know i guess we're in stupid internet news

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Speaker 2: Travis Kelsey came out and said, like, uh-uh, don't do

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Speaker 2: that to me.

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Speaker 3: I did not invent that shit.

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Speaker 2: Black people invented that shit. It's Black History Month. I

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Speaker 2: don't want no problems. Stop playing with the black people.

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Speaker 2: February 1. They was on some dumb shit, man. February 1.

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Speaker 2: They don't care about us. All the white boys going

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Speaker 2: to get the Travis Kelsey.

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Speaker 3: Bitch, that's a Boosie face. He's calling now. I ain't

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Speaker 3: gonna lie. I ain't much gonna lie. He is nice looking.

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Speaker 3: Nice to look at.

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Speaker 2: I don't even see him with Taylor Swift for real. Like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know who she's supposed to be with. He

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Speaker 2: got a little bit too much swag for Taylor Swift.

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Speaker 3: He got swag.

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Speaker 2: That's why I say, I don't think he, I don't

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Speaker 2: find him attractive. I just think he's got a lot

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Speaker 2: of swag. Cause if you cut that beard off and

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Speaker 2: you seen him without the beard. He looks like a

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Speaker 2: Caucasian male. The Paul Bunyan ass looking white man.

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Speaker 3: Johnny. The brawny man. That's who he makes me think of.

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Speaker 3: Johnny Appleseed for sure. Faith ass. Same. Let's talk about

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Speaker 3: the Grammys. That's what I did. I watched the Grammys.

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Speaker 3: I enjoyed the Grammys this year.

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Speaker 2: Did you?

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Speaker 3: I didn't watch it.

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Speaker 2: You know I don't be watching TV, Jai. I didn't

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Speaker 2: watch it. I really enjoyed it. I had my hookah up.

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Speaker 2: I had me a bottle of champagne, and I just

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Speaker 2: watched the Grammys. I was singing. Fantasia made me so proud.

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Speaker 2: She looks so good. I'm just so happy for her. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she's getting all the accolades she has always deserved.

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Speaker 3: Who else? Oh, Tracy Chapman. I love that song. I

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Speaker 3: love that remake. Fast Fast?

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 3: What's the guy's name? I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I listen to that shit every single day. It comes

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Speaker 2: on the radio. I listen to that song.

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Speaker 3: I love that song. Yeah, that song is... And she

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Speaker 3: looks so amazing. She look good. She is aging so beautifully.

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Speaker 3: Them dimples are... The thing is, I never realized that

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Speaker 3: was her song. I didn't realize that.

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Speaker 2: When they was playing with that shit on In Living Color,

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Speaker 2: I didn't realize that was a black woman's song.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Well, duh, they had the sister playing her part,

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Speaker 3: playing that character in In Living Color. Girl, I have

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Speaker 3: no idea what you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: You don't remember them doing that on In Living Color,

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Speaker 2: doing that song on In Living Color?

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Speaker 3: I don't know if I was able to watch In

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Speaker 3: Living Color yet. What? Your mom didn't let you watch

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Speaker 3: In Living Color? I was a kid. In Living Color?

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Speaker 3: I was little. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm thinking about Def

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Speaker 3: Comedy Jam. Even Def Comedy Jam? Yeah. Like, what? How

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Speaker 3: old are you again? Never mind. So let's keep playing. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you might not have been born yet. I was little. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you're right. To that part. And live in color? What's that?

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Speaker 3: So you never seen Martin either? I love that show.

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Speaker 3: I watched all the reruns. Dang.

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Speaker 2: So the Grammys, y'all, let's get into it right quick.

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Speaker 2: So Jay-Z won one of the most prominent awards, I

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Speaker 2: would say, at the Grammys, maybe.

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Speaker 3: It's named after Dr. Dre. It's a Dr. Dre Global

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Speaker 3: Impact Award.

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Speaker 2: And in the midst of his acceptance speech, he goes

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Speaker 2: on to call it the Grammys about how his wife

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Speaker 2: ain't never won album of the year. She got 30

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Speaker 2: sound Grammys, but for whatever reason, she keeps getting snubbed

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Speaker 2: for Album of the Year, while Taylor Swift won this

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Speaker 2: past Sunday. That's her fourth Grammy for Album of the Year.

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Speaker 2: It led me to go listen to some Taylor Swift music.

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Speaker 2: I had to see what the fuck they be hearing.

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Speaker 2: I hear this shit on the radio. She doesn't have

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Speaker 2: any albums we could just listen straight through either. And

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Speaker 2: I feel like Beyonce has had several albums, especially Lemonade,

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Speaker 2: she should have gotten a Grammy for it. And she

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Speaker 2: should have called Beyonce on the stage. Like Beyonce did

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Speaker 2: when she won her first Grammy. Remember when Kanye was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to let you finish. But Beyonce, well, he

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Speaker 2: didn't lie. Clearly he didn't lie.

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Speaker 3: He wasn't lying. Now here we are 10 years later

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Speaker 3: and Jay-Z doing the same shit.

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Speaker 2: Taylor Swift should have said, I'm going to finish. But Beyonce,

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Speaker 2: can you come up here? Because I feel like this

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Speaker 2: should have been your, or some shit like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but she. Or you should have gotten this a

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Speaker 3: million years ago. She probably don't feel that way though.

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Speaker 3: She probably doesn't feel that way. It's because you. You

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Speaker 3: know what?

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Speaker 2: Celine Dion gave her the award, and she did not

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Speaker 2: even acknowledge Celine Dion. I was upset with that. Like, girl,

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Speaker 2: how you going to be standing right next to the

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Speaker 2: queen with that bob wig on, looking like a black

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Speaker 2: girl in that bob wig with them diamonds on?

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Speaker 3: The diamonds, I couldn't even see her.

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Speaker 2: The diamonds was blinding me on the TV screen. And

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Speaker 2: you're not going to acknowledge Celine Dion? Yeah, she got

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Speaker 2: health issues. She came out there for you, girl.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 2: Let's talk about stats when it comes to Beyonce and

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Speaker 2: Taylor Swift. So it says, American songwriter Taylor Swift has

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Speaker 2: released 10 original studio albums.

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Speaker 3: Beyonce has four.

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Speaker 2: Excuse me, Beyonce has seven to Taylor Swift's 10. Taylor

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Speaker 2: Swift has four re-recorded studio albums, five extended plays, and

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Speaker 2: four live albums. She's sold an estimated 114 million album

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Speaker 2: units worldwide. And in terms of pure sales, tallied at

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Speaker 2: 46.6 million in the United States and 7 million in

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Speaker 2: the UK. RIAA, which is the Recording Industry Association of America,

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Speaker 2: her albums have garnered 51 million certified units in the

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Speaker 2: United States. As of February 2024, she is the solo

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Speaker 2: artist with the most weeks 69 at number one on U.S.

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Speaker 2: Billboard 200. So that's just a little quick, little brief

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Speaker 2: rundown of Taylor Swift's whatever. Okay, so now here's Beyoncé. Well,

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Speaker 2: but here's the thing. Taylor Swift, her tour outsold Beyoncé' s tour.

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Speaker 3: By a double. Did it? Are you sure? Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: Googled it last night. Yeah, it did. I know.

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Speaker 2: She's just very... She's practicing witchcraft. Y'all ain't seen that shit.

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Speaker 2: I seen those damn clips. She was literally in black

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Speaker 2: hoods on stage.

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Speaker 3: Listen. They literally created.

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Speaker 2: A thing called post-concert amnesia because concert goers don't even

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Speaker 2: remember attending the Taylor Swift concert. They created a syndrome

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Speaker 2: for people after Taylor Swift concert.

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Speaker 3: They don't even remember going. They don't even remember what

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Speaker 3: happened at the concert. They were there. But they don't

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Speaker 3: remember what happened. She fucking putting people under hypnosis. I'm convinced.

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Speaker 3: It's a real thing. So what else happened?

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Speaker 2: Killer Mike got arrested at the Grammys after winning three Grammys.

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Speaker 3: He's an elder in the hip hop. Not an elder.

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Speaker 3: He won three Grammys. He is. He's not 22. You

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Speaker 3: might call that man an elder. But fuck. In hip-hop.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you... You don't think so? An

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Speaker 3: elder's killing, Mike. He should be, like, what, 45, 46

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Speaker 3: years old? That's not an elder? He, like, 48, I think.

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Speaker 3: So we call it... Okay. You really having fun today, bitch. Well,

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Speaker 3: I'm not calling him an elder for the earth. I'm

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Speaker 3: not calling him an elder for the earth. I'm calling

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Speaker 3: it in hip-hop. Elder for the earth. Maybe. That's not

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Speaker 3: what I'm saying. You know, people were saying like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you're too old. You're this, you're that.

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Speaker 2: And he's proven that that is not the case, you know.

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Speaker 2: So that's all I was alluding to. I was surprised.

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Speaker 2: I hadn't listened to any Killer Mike album. I didn't

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Speaker 2: realize he even had an album come out. And I mean,

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Speaker 2: I really hadn't listened to that much new music last

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Speaker 2: year for real. Unless, you know, little singles and shit

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Speaker 2: like that. I haven't really popped in anybody's album. So

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Speaker 2: I just was kind of under a rock. Last year

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Speaker 2: with Music Wise. I didn't realize he had an album

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Speaker 2: that even came out.

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Speaker 3: Did you listen? Damn. What you was listening to? I

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Speaker 3: don't know. I don't even know. Shit. Reverend Ike. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I listened.

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Speaker 2: I listened because of the Scientist and Engineer single that

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Speaker 2: Henry Andrade got the awards for.

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Speaker 3: You heard that though, right? No. That's the thing. I

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Speaker 3: hadn't heard it. Damn. I hadn't.

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Speaker 2: And maybe I've heard it and just don't remember.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I got to listen to it again.

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Speaker 3: But into world news. Hold on. The nigga got arrested

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Speaker 3: for what, though? Oh, we going back to that? Yeah. Okay.

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Speaker 2: He got arrested because he had an altercation with one

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Speaker 2: of the security guards at the Grammys. And I think

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Speaker 2: it was just like a very overzealous security guard that

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Speaker 2: just wanted to prove a point that you can't play

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Speaker 2: with him.

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Speaker 3: He top flight. So they came and got him up

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Speaker 3: out of there over something stupid. It really was.

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Speaker 2: I was trying to act like he ain't no killer

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Speaker 2: Mike is. Nigga, I just won three Grammys. You don't

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Speaker 2: know who I am.

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Speaker 3: I bet you it was a black girl. Oh, yeah, probably.

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Speaker 3: You know, they take their security jobs. I'm a hex

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Speaker 3: football player. When them hex football players become security guards,

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Speaker 3: they be disgruntled.

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Speaker 2: In light of the Grammys, and like I said, I

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Speaker 2: was talking about Taylor Swift's discography.

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Speaker 3: Is it discography? Discography. Discography. Beyonce.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so American singer Beyonce has released seven studio albums,

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Speaker 2: five live albums, three compilation albums, five EPs, one soundtrack album,

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Speaker 2: and two karaoke albums. I don't know what the fuck

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Speaker 2: a karaoke album is, but I want to do one.

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Speaker 2: So to date, Beyonce has sold over 200 million.

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Speaker 3: Records worldwide as a solo artist.

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Speaker 2: Making her one of the best-selling music artists of all time.

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Speaker 2: Billboard ranked her as the 37th greatest artist of all time.

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Speaker 2: I don't know where Taylor Swift ranks amongst all the

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Speaker 2: greats that we've had, because giving her these four Grammys,

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Speaker 2: that means she's... We're not talking about Taylor Swift. We're

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Speaker 2: talking about Beyonce in this moment. That means she's better than...

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Speaker 2: I'm just doing a comparison still. That means she's better

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Speaker 2: than Michael Jackson at this point? Anyway... So the Recording

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Speaker 2: Industry Association of America recognized her as the top certified artist,

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Speaker 2: so Beyonce, okay, of the 2000s decade. According to RIAA,

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Speaker 2: Beyonce has sold 30.5 million.

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Speaker 3: Albums in the United States. And as of November 2023.

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Speaker 2: The RIAA lists her total certified sales as a solo artist,

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Speaker 2: including features, as over $ 174 million in the United States. So,

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Speaker 2: Beyonce is going to be our baddie. Beyonce should have

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Speaker 2: got the goddamn Grammy.

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 2: Beyonce, we salute you. You are our baddie who talks

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Speaker 2: back for this week, girl.

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Speaker 3: We love you.

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Speaker 2: And I'm going to put Taylor Swift's ass in the freezer.

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Speaker 2: They are not winning the Super Bowl this year.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but in world news. All right, y'all. Come close

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Speaker 3: to how you're listening to the device. However you're listening

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Speaker 3: to this. Drake's dick was leaked. Drake's dick was leaked.

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Speaker 2: Drake.

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Speaker 3: I was so upset. Dick is leaking. Don't do that.

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Speaker 3: I can lie. I much can lie. That was a

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Speaker 3: nice looking penis, Drake. Nice looking penis. It was nice

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Speaker 3: and long. It wasn't extremely girthy, but it wasn't all

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Speaker 3: the way, you know, full. It was a half tub,

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Speaker 3: so it might, you know, expand a little. I feel

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Speaker 3: like he put that shit out.

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Speaker 2: I just don't see Drake fucking with somebody at this

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Speaker 2: point where they would do something like that. You got

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Speaker 2: to have a little bit more discernment than to be

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Speaker 2: fucking with a bitch and they put your dick on

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Speaker 2: the internet like that. Yeah, I hate that for us.

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Speaker 2: I hate that for us because everybody just see my man.

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Speaker 2: My sister go message me like, hey, you got the

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Speaker 2: Drake video? I was like, yes. She's like, can you

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Speaker 2: send it to me? I was like, absolutely not.

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Speaker 3: She was like, why?

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not sending you my man's dick. Like,

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Speaker 2: that's weird for you to even ask me for that.

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Speaker 2: And she was like, bitch, just send it.

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Speaker 3: I was like, okay. Bitch, that's not your man. That's

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Speaker 3: not your man. My man, my man, my man.

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Speaker 2: Like, all it do is on Twitter, on X, excuse me,

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Speaker 2: it's talking about Drake got all the hoes, money, and

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Speaker 2: an XX glizzy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just too much winning for him. It's disgusting, man. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I like cock shots, though. Like, I want to know

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Speaker 2: who the fuck got that cock shot. Who you sent

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Speaker 2: that dick to? That dick look all manicured, right? That

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Speaker 2: dick look like it just been through, like, a manicure session. Like,

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Speaker 2: it was all nicely shaved. He was having that hairy asshole, too,

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Speaker 2: with the blanket right there.

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Speaker 3: He did great. Like, did y'all see our producer, Taylor?

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Speaker 2: She posted her little picture and at Drake on Instagram,

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Speaker 2: on her Instagram story. Yeah, I was really mad at

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Speaker 2: her for that this morning. But I was just like,

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Speaker 2: you know what? I'm going to let her have that.

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Speaker 2: She got her little picture.

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Speaker 3: I was like, nope.

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Speaker 2: Because you got Tyler Lepley or whatever his name is.

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Speaker 2: You already got pictures with that nigga. And now here

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Speaker 2: you come popping out with my, you know that's my nigga. Look,

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Speaker 2: Drake had his arm around Taylor's neck. I'm like, wait,

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Speaker 2: why he got his hand on your neck like that?

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Speaker 3: He was choking her a little bit. I cut it

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Speaker 3: to her throat a little bit. I don't know, but

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Speaker 3: I'm like, why?

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Speaker 2: Why Dre got his hand on your neck like that,

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Speaker 2: Taylor Todd? But he know what's up. You better get Taylor, girl.

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Speaker 2: She about to take your man. I would hate to

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Speaker 2: choke slam Taylor's somewhere.

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Speaker 3: I would hate to do that to her. Bitch, that's

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Speaker 3: not your nigga, okay? This is my man.

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Speaker 2: Y'all, if it ever happened between me and Drake, just

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Speaker 2: know that I manifested it here with you listeners.

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Speaker 3: Believe it in it. Right here on this show. From

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Speaker 3: day one. From episode one. You barely want Drake. What?

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 2: That is not even your type. He's not my type.

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Speaker 2: But I'm a huge fan and I love him so much.

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Speaker 3: Y'all, we was at a Drake concert and this bitch

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Speaker 3: ain't no now Drake song. that's a lie I knew

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Speaker 3: all the songs all.

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Speaker 2: The real fans were singing the hell out of that

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Speaker 2: nigga song we like no that was 21 Savage said

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that's what it was you is really

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Speaker 2: hating on my love life right now and I just

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Speaker 2: don't appreciate it between you and Taylor today is just

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Speaker 2: die Taylor one step closer than you bitch you better

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Speaker 2: get She is, but that's okay because I'm going to

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Speaker 2: see Drake again in two weeks.

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Speaker 3: Where he going to be at? He back on tour

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Speaker 3: with J. Cole. Interesting.

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Speaker 2: He going to be in Ohio. I ain't hear that, Drake.

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Speaker 3: You going to throw your bra on stage?

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Speaker 2: I ain't going to have one on one.

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Speaker 3: Tam Bam coming to see you, baby. Do we have

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Speaker 3: anything else? I think that's it, man.

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Speaker 2: It's a whole lot of gang shit going on this week,

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Speaker 2: but Drake just ruined the internet for the day, I think.

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Speaker 2: I haven't really been back on to see what the

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Speaker 2: fuck people talk about about that dick, but yeah. My

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Speaker 2: mama called me this morning, and she was listening to

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Speaker 2: the episode with.

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Speaker 3: Jodi, you know, teaching us how to, you know, to

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Speaker 3: suck dick. And my mom was like, you know what?

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Speaker 3: When was she teaching us to suck dick? Well, she

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Speaker 3: didn't teach us, but she said she could.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, the choreography class for sucking dick.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 2: And my mom said, good morning, baby. Can I just

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Speaker 2: say something? I said, yes, ma'am. She was like, every

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Speaker 2: time I think we can't get to a new level

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Speaker 2: of what the fuck, you and AJ take it then.

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Speaker 3: Y'all will take it to a new level of what

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Speaker 3: the fuck.

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Speaker 2: It's not really us taking it to a new level.

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Speaker 3: It's the guests. That's what I said. She said, well,

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Speaker 3: you brought them on there, didn't you? I was like, yes,

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Speaker 3: I did. We just be doing like shit for research purposes. Okay.

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Speaker 3: It's just low hype. We have hypotheses. Education, education, education.

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Speaker 3: That's all. Speaking of education. All right.

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Speaker 2: So, I was really like in my feelings, this is

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Speaker 2: the ninth year in a row that I have not

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Speaker 2: had a Valentine. And I was like, just you know

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Speaker 2: I'm still hopeful and I still like what love and

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Speaker 2: I'm still like a hopeless romantic regardless uh if you

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Speaker 2: want to see something good watch the vow if you

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Speaker 2: want to be all in the fields that's a good

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Speaker 2: movie on Netflix right now the vow but um I

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Speaker 2: was scrolling and I was seeing like this post I

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Speaker 2: can't remember whose page it was on but it was

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Speaker 2: like Tag the happiest wife you know. So I went

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Speaker 2: in there and I started reading the women who were tagged.

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Speaker 2: But the ones that I was most impressed with were

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Speaker 2: the wives who tagged themselves. So I messaged those wives

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Speaker 2: and I asked them to come on this show and

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Speaker 2: talk about why you're the happiest wife. Because I want

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Speaker 2: us to be hopeful. I want us to find love

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Speaker 2: and I want us to grow. So we'll be right

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Speaker 2: back with our first guest. who's going to talk about

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Speaker 2: why she's the happiest wife. Okay, guys, we're back. And

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Speaker 2: y'all know I'm a hopeless romantic. So I was scrolling

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Speaker 2: and I just saw this beautiful post about the happiest wife.

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Speaker 2: So I got to digging through the comments to see

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Speaker 2: who they were shouting out to be the happiest wife.

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Speaker 2: And then I was more impressed with the women who

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Speaker 2: were saying that they were the happiest wife themselves. Because,

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Speaker 2: you know, outside people can think you the happiest wife.

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Speaker 2: You may not be. But these women were saying, no, baby,

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Speaker 2: look at me because I am the happiest wife. And

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Speaker 2: I came across this one profile for our guest, Jennifer Allen.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for joining us. Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 2: And she is the CEO of Just a Loaf LLC

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Speaker 2: in Dallas, Texas, where she curates micro weddings all over Dallas.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for joining us. Thanks for having me. Tell us.

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Speaker 3: what makes you that, like, what made you decide to

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Speaker 3: say type right there? I am the happiest wife. Don't

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Speaker 3: play with me.

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Speaker 2: Don't play with it because let me tell you something.

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Speaker 2: My husband is, he is top tier. He has been

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Speaker 2: intentional about being a husband, not just wanting a wife

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Speaker 2: since I met him. And we have been married for

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Speaker 2: 13 years and we have three, three sons.

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Speaker 3: Um, 11, nine, and two.

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Speaker 2: And every day that we've been together, I've never had

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Speaker 2: to question whether or not I am enough for him,

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Speaker 2: whether he loves me, whether I am secure within our relationship.

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Speaker 2: And that's not to say that we don't have issues

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Speaker 2: or petty arguments or that sort of thing, but it's

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Speaker 2: this security that comes with no matter what.

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Speaker 3: He can be upset with me. If he.

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Speaker 2: Leaves out the house, he going to bring me something back.

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Speaker 2: If he goes to go do something, he going, I'll

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Speaker 2: be back. I'm about to go do whatever. It's no

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Speaker 2: storm out of the house. It's all this security of

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Speaker 2: no matter what, you are the most important thing to me,

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Speaker 2: even though you're getting on my last nerve at this moment.

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Speaker 3: And I'm sure I work his nerve, but I don't care.

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Speaker 3: How long did y'all date before you got married?

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Speaker 2: So we met in January 2009, and we got married

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Speaker 2: in July 2010. So you knew that quickly? Yes. So

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Speaker 2: I met my husband on MySpace. So let's start there.

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Speaker 2: And what's so random is I had not been on

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Speaker 2: MySpace in years, right? Like so long. Facebook was popping then.

429
00:23:23,850 --> 00:23:26,050
Speaker 2: Hadn't been on for so long. And my best friend

430
00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:28,949
Speaker 2: was like, girl, I logged into my MySpace page the

431
00:23:29,010 --> 00:23:31,570
Speaker 2: other day. And I'm like, let me get on here

432
00:23:31,630 --> 00:23:34,250
Speaker 2: and see. And I don't know how, whether he has

433
00:23:34,290 --> 00:23:36,970
Speaker 2: sent me a message. So much time has passed since then.

434
00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:39,950
Speaker 2: But I don't know how we end up connecting.

435
00:23:39,990 --> 00:23:40,890
Speaker 3: We exchange.

436
00:23:40,990 --> 00:23:44,409
Speaker 2: We end up exchanging phone numbers like that same day.

437
00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:49,090
Speaker 2: Talked on the phone all day. It was a Saturday.

438
00:23:49,130 --> 00:23:51,740
Speaker 2: We talked on the phone all day long. And then

439
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,270
Speaker 2: he was like, man, I wish I could see you,

440
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 2: but I got to go to work tomorrow. He's 19

441
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,810
Speaker 2: years old, right? So kids. And so I'm like, oh,

442
00:24:00,670 --> 00:24:03,330
Speaker 2: don't stop your bag behind me. Like, go, you know,

443
00:24:03,369 --> 00:24:05,409
Speaker 2: go take care of your business. So the next day

444
00:24:05,910 --> 00:24:08,970
Speaker 2: he calls me and he's like, what you doing today?

445
00:24:09,170 --> 00:24:11,860
Speaker 2: And I'm like, nothing. What you doing? I thought you

446
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,880
Speaker 2: had to go to work. He's like, I'm sick. I'm like, oh,

447
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 2: hell no. I'm like, yo, you got this poor work ethic.

448
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 2: If you finna take off from your job from some

449
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 2: chick you done met on the internet, you finna not

450
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,060
Speaker 2: go to work behind somebody you don't even know. And

451
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,410
Speaker 2: we end up going to Razzle's and going to the movies.

452
00:24:35,830 --> 00:24:37,550
Speaker 2: And he went with me to Walmart so I can

453
00:24:37,570 --> 00:24:41,430
Speaker 2: get my little groceries for the week. And we had

454
00:24:41,470 --> 00:24:43,609
Speaker 2: a really good, like, just a really good time. So

455
00:24:44,130 --> 00:24:47,630
Speaker 2: that was a Sunday. That Wednesday, he came over my

456
00:24:47,670 --> 00:24:50,899
Speaker 2: house and he was like, we are going to get married.

457
00:24:51,250 --> 00:24:54,430
Speaker 2: And I'm like, boy, you are just trying to get

458
00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:57,450
Speaker 2: you some and you don't have to say all that

459
00:24:57,530 --> 00:24:58,530
Speaker 2: because I'm going to.

460
00:24:58,510 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 3: Give it to you. So you don't got to gas

461
00:25:04,140 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 3: me up. You know what I'm saying?

462
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,700
Speaker 2: Like, I don't I don't need this is happening because

463
00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 2: I want it to happen.

464
00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:12,100
Speaker 3: This has nothing to do with you telling me that

465
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,980
Speaker 3: we're going to get married. And he was like, no,

466
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,460
Speaker 3: like we're we're going to get married. I'm like, all right, whatever.

467
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:24,670
Speaker 2: So literally we became inseparable from that moment on. And

468
00:25:24,910 --> 00:25:26,930
Speaker 2: I had just got out of a relationship a couple

469
00:25:26,950 --> 00:25:31,090
Speaker 2: months prior. And I was really on some like, I'm

470
00:25:31,150 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 2: setting boundaries with people.

471
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 3: And whoever don't get it, don't get it. So he

472
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: would come stay the night at my house.

473
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,939
Speaker 2: And I told him, I said, hey, if you stay

474
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,790
Speaker 2: here seven times throughout the month, you're going to have

475
00:25:44,810 --> 00:25:48,540
Speaker 2: to pay my light bill. Because you over here using electricity,

476
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,820
Speaker 2: the microwave, like you just, because he lived with his mom.

477
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,179
Speaker 2: And so he was in the military waiting orders. And

478
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 2: so I'm like, my life bill was like $ 60. It

479
00:25:58,580 --> 00:26:02,420
Speaker 2: wasn't even like it was anything crazy. And so he

480
00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:02,919
Speaker 2: was there.

481
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,820
Speaker 3: The end of the month came. I'm like, I need

482
00:26:05,859 --> 00:26:06,139
Speaker 3: my $ 63.

483
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:06,100
Speaker 2: 54.

484
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:13,419
Speaker 3: Like, where's my money at? And he, and he paid it.

485
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,540
Speaker 2: And like, I didn't have cable. And he would come

486
00:26:15,619 --> 00:26:18,460
Speaker 2: over there and he was like, you don't have cable.

487
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 3: You just watching DVDs. So Redbox was, was big. He's like,

488
00:26:21,859 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 3: you just watching DVDs all the time.

489
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,859
Speaker 2: I'm like, I have to choose between being able to

490
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 2: consistently keep my nails done or having cable. And I'm

491
00:26:32,180 --> 00:26:35,060
Speaker 2: choosing my nails. And so I said, if you want

492
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,619
Speaker 2: me to have cable, then you get the cable. I don't,

493
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,590
Speaker 2: I don't need no cable. And so he got the cable.

494
00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:43,340
Speaker 2: And so when I would leave to go to work,

495
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:47,700
Speaker 2: I would make him leave, get up to like, you

496
00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:49,830
Speaker 2: got you got to go to work. So you head

497
00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:51,389
Speaker 2: back to where you going because you're just not going

498
00:26:51,410 --> 00:26:54,629
Speaker 2: to be laying up in my house. And so it

499
00:26:54,670 --> 00:26:57,770
Speaker 2: started to go to where I would we would leave

500
00:26:57,830 --> 00:27:00,010
Speaker 2: at the same time. Then it would be when he

501
00:27:00,050 --> 00:27:02,670
Speaker 2: would leave. He would bring my key to my job.

502
00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:05,030
Speaker 2: And then that turned into him saying, well, can I

503
00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 2: just have a key? And so I was like, well,

504
00:27:08,140 --> 00:27:10,820
Speaker 2: you know, you've never had an apartment before. So let

505
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:11,700
Speaker 2: me explain to you.

506
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:12,220
Speaker 3: How it works.

507
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 2: When you go into the leasing office and you sign

508
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,260
Speaker 2: on the paper and say you're going to pay the

509
00:27:18,340 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 2: full month's rent, they give you a key.

510
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:22,900
Speaker 3: I said, so I don't need a roommate.

511
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,900
Speaker 2: So if you want a key, then you need to

512
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,210
Speaker 2: pay the rent. And so I said, but you don't

513
00:27:30,250 --> 00:27:34,790
Speaker 2: make enough money to pay the rent and be my boyfriend.

514
00:27:36,060 --> 00:27:43,149
Speaker 3: Like, so take me somewhere. So I'm three years older

515
00:27:43,250 --> 00:27:44,630
Speaker 3: than my husband.

516
00:27:45,070 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 2: And so, like I said, I had just dated somebody

517
00:27:48,340 --> 00:27:51,700
Speaker 2: who was trash on top of trash.

518
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 3: And I just knew what I did not want to

519
00:27:53,859 --> 00:27:55,700
Speaker 3: continue to deal with.

520
00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,420
Speaker 2: And so he was like, okay. So like the next

521
00:28:00,530 --> 00:28:03,810
Speaker 2: month he had got a new job. And he came

522
00:28:03,869 --> 00:28:07,030
Speaker 2: in there and slapped the money order on the table.

523
00:28:07,650 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 2: It was like, hey, give me my key. I'm like, boy,

524
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,660
Speaker 2: you can have my key.

525
00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:13,980
Speaker 3: I'm not going to get in the door. I'm not

526
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,780
Speaker 3: going to get in there. I don't care. I see

527
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:23,750
Speaker 3: if I can come over.

528
00:28:23,810 --> 00:28:26,370
Speaker 2: Because I don't care.

529
00:28:26,430 --> 00:28:28,109
Speaker 3: You got it. So we.

530
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:34,340
Speaker 2: We kept dating. He moved in. We were getting serious.

531
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 2: And then in October of that year, so we met

532
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,430
Speaker 2: in January. So by the time October came.

533
00:28:41,370 --> 00:28:44,290
Speaker 3: We were, I mean, it was serious. It was, you know,

534
00:28:44,930 --> 00:28:45,930
Speaker 3: we were locked in.

535
00:28:46,470 --> 00:28:49,470
Speaker 2: And I told him, I said, well, my lease is

536
00:28:49,710 --> 00:28:52,570
Speaker 2: up and I'm going to move to another apartment inside

537
00:28:52,590 --> 00:28:55,870
Speaker 2: of my complex. And I said, you cannot come with me.

538
00:28:57,130 --> 00:28:59,530
Speaker 2: And he was like, what do you mean? I said,

539
00:29:00,950 --> 00:29:05,650
Speaker 2: you've never experienced living by yourself before. And I know

540
00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:09,570
Speaker 2: that you do a great job of taking care of

541
00:29:09,650 --> 00:29:14,130
Speaker 2: things in the house with me together. But I need

542
00:29:14,170 --> 00:29:16,990
Speaker 2: to know that you could take care of yourself by yourself.

543
00:29:17,530 --> 00:29:19,850
Speaker 2: I said, because if you're going to be my husband,

544
00:29:20,230 --> 00:29:21,790
Speaker 2: you're going to be these things. I don't want you

545
00:29:21,810 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 2: to feel like you missed out on living alone. I

546
00:29:23,780 --> 00:29:26,830
Speaker 2: don't want you to feel like, you know, I need

547
00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:28,790
Speaker 2: to see that you can remember to pay your bills

548
00:29:28,870 --> 00:29:31,700
Speaker 2: because they your bills to pay, not me bringing them up,

549
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 2: you know, and that sort of thing. How old were

550
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:38,060
Speaker 2: you at that too? Cause that's very, uh, mature. I

551
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 2: was 23. So when, when, when we met, he was 19,

552
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 2: I was 22 and then he turned 20 in March

553
00:29:46,260 --> 00:29:50,100
Speaker 2: and then I turned 23 in June. And so I

554
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,340
Speaker 2: was like, you know, I just, I just don't, I

555
00:29:53,380 --> 00:29:56,270
Speaker 2: just need to, to know, baby, that man told me

556
00:29:56,470 --> 00:29:59,210
Speaker 2: if you move out this apartment and I don't go

557
00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:03,490
Speaker 2: with you, we are done. And I said, well, I

558
00:30:03,530 --> 00:30:07,580
Speaker 2: guess we done. And I told my mama and she

559
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 2: was like, Jennifer.

560
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,459
Speaker 3: Okay. And I said, what? She's like, nothing.

561
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,660
Speaker 2: And so we, we, we just kind of left it alone.

562
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,670
Speaker 2: He ended up getting his own apartment. I moved into

563
00:30:20,730 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 2: my apartment. And he stopped talking to me. We broke up.

564
00:30:25,350 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 3: We were done.

565
00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:29,110
Speaker 2: His mama tried to hook him up with the girl

566
00:30:29,150 --> 00:30:32,050
Speaker 2: across the street. They went to Ikea. Yeah, they went

567
00:30:32,070 --> 00:30:34,550
Speaker 2: to Ikea and everything. I said, oh, I know you

568
00:30:34,590 --> 00:30:36,170
Speaker 2: ain't out here picking out pillows for the bitch.

569
00:30:36,470 --> 00:30:43,130
Speaker 3: Like, they went to Ikea. My feelings just crushed. I said, what?

570
00:30:44,540 --> 00:30:46,180
Speaker 3: Are you serious right now?

571
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 2: And I was talking to my mama about it. And

572
00:30:49,940 --> 00:30:52,540
Speaker 2: she said, you know, I really need for you to

573
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:57,390
Speaker 2: understand that Tavares is a good man because he's a

574
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,910
Speaker 2: good man. It has nothing to do with you. So

575
00:30:59,990 --> 00:31:02,910
Speaker 2: he's going to be a good man to whoever he's with,

576
00:31:03,690 --> 00:31:06,970
Speaker 2: not just you. So if you want to keep this

577
00:31:07,050 --> 00:31:09,650
Speaker 2: going and be on your high horse and I'm putting

578
00:31:09,670 --> 00:31:13,050
Speaker 2: my foot down, I'm setting boundaries. She's like, you are

579
00:31:13,090 --> 00:31:15,979
Speaker 2: going to miss out. And she's like, so you do

580
00:31:16,020 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 2: with that what you want to do with. And I'm

581
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,580
Speaker 2: not telling you who you're supposed to be with, but

582
00:31:19,740 --> 00:31:22,770
Speaker 2: you do what you want to do with it. And

583
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,090
Speaker 2: I ended up needing to go get my tooth pulled.

584
00:31:26,170 --> 00:31:28,310
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I mean, I'm like, can you please

585
00:31:28,350 --> 00:31:30,410
Speaker 2: take me to the dentist? I can't drive myself back

586
00:31:30,630 --> 00:31:34,650
Speaker 2: back home. And he was like, yeah, that's fine. So

587
00:31:35,390 --> 00:31:37,290
Speaker 2: he took me to the dentist. And when it was over,

588
00:31:37,450 --> 00:31:40,550
Speaker 2: it was like a traumatic experience. And then he was like, well,

589
00:31:40,570 --> 00:31:43,410
Speaker 2: you just come back to my apartment. And I end

590
00:31:43,470 --> 00:31:46,500
Speaker 2: up being in his house for like three weeks. And

591
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:55,930
Speaker 2: we were back together. And that was in April of 2020,

592
00:31:55,930 --> 00:32:01,330
Speaker 2: April of 2010. And then in May, he found out

593
00:32:01,370 --> 00:32:04,620
Speaker 2: that he was going to be leaving for deployment. Um,

594
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,060
Speaker 2: and so we kind of had this conversation like, Hey,

595
00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:09,580
Speaker 2: I know we just got back together. Like this doesn't

596
00:32:09,620 --> 00:32:11,820
Speaker 2: have to be a thing. Like we can, you know,

597
00:32:11,940 --> 00:32:14,780
Speaker 2: call this off. And he was like, no, like this is,

598
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,719
Speaker 2: this is where I want to be.

599
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,860
Speaker 3: I'm like, good. Cause me too. Cause I don't want to,

600
00:32:18,940 --> 00:32:21,940
Speaker 3: I don't want to do that. Yeah, exactly. I don't

601
00:32:21,980 --> 00:32:22,870
Speaker 3: want to go nowhere.

602
00:32:23,420 --> 00:32:30,130
Speaker 2: And, um, we decided before he left for deployment and, um, he, he,

603
00:32:30,350 --> 00:32:33,130
Speaker 2: he went, he went to San Diego for trainings in Navy.

604
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 3: Went to San Diego for a training. He came back

605
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:36,979
Speaker 3: in July and.

606
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:44,140
Speaker 2: He proposed and he proposed on a Thursday and we

607
00:32:44,180 --> 00:32:48,390
Speaker 2: got married that next Tuesday. And so we went to

608
00:32:48,410 --> 00:32:52,910
Speaker 2: city hall and got married and we've been married for

609
00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:53,350
Speaker 2: 13 years.

610
00:32:53,830 --> 00:32:58,750
Speaker 3: And I, it has been, when you.

611
00:32:59,050 --> 00:33:03,530
Speaker 2: Get married young, it's difficult because you are growing up

612
00:33:03,590 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 2: in front of somebody else. All of your, all of

613
00:33:12,780 --> 00:33:18,540
Speaker 2: your flaws are on display and all of your wants

614
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,790
Speaker 2: and needs and desires, they're constantly changing and shifting and

615
00:33:22,830 --> 00:33:26,610
Speaker 2: you're doing this with somebody else and then you become parents.

616
00:33:27,330 --> 00:33:29,230
Speaker 2: And so now you're not only trying to figure out,

617
00:33:29,270 --> 00:33:31,740
Speaker 2: you know, how to be, a husband and a wife,

618
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,300
Speaker 2: but now a mother and a father, but I'm still

619
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 2: trying to figure out how to be Jennifer. I'm still

620
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:40,150
Speaker 2: trying to figure out, you know, what I'm doing with myself.

621
00:33:40,910 --> 00:33:47,050
Speaker 2: And it has been the best journey now when I

622
00:33:47,090 --> 00:33:50,570
Speaker 2: look back on it, because all the things that are

623
00:33:50,670 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 2: good about my accomplishments, people say, oh, you're so awesome.

624
00:33:55,140 --> 00:33:57,020
Speaker 3: Oh, you've been on Netflix, Love is Blind. Oh, you

625
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 3: married to Brad and Judy. Oh, you did this. Oh,

626
00:33:58,940 --> 00:34:02,490
Speaker 3: you did that. And I'm like, I would not.

627
00:34:02,310 --> 00:34:05,030
Speaker 2: Have been able to do any of these things had

628
00:34:05,070 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 2: I not had my husband, number one, hyping me up

629
00:34:08,930 --> 00:34:11,819
Speaker 2: so tough to say, you deserve all of that.

630
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 3: Go do it. You should do it. And him being

631
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,020
Speaker 3: here to be a great dad to his kids. Because

632
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:21,700
Speaker 3: we're going to watch these kids while I'm jet-setting, you know? Right.

633
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,219
Speaker 2: I'm out here frolicking around town. Oh, Jennifer, we saw

634
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:27,820
Speaker 2: you was in Chicago at a speaking event.

635
00:34:28,219 --> 00:34:28,580
Speaker 3: Yeah.

636
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 2: And I got three children, you know? My husband is

637
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:39,420
Speaker 2: an amazing dad. I often tell him that he's truly

638
00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:41,500
Speaker 2: the dad that I wish that I had growing up.

639
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 3: And to see him with our sons.

640
00:34:45,739 --> 00:34:51,290
Speaker 2: It almost makes me jealous sometimes because it's like, man,

641
00:34:51,350 --> 00:34:54,850
Speaker 2: I wish I had that. I wish I could have

642
00:34:55,630 --> 00:35:00,430
Speaker 2: experienced what it was like to have a dad who

643
00:35:00,489 --> 00:35:05,089
Speaker 2: was so intentional and so involved in everything that I,

644
00:35:05,340 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 2: that I did. My dad really didn't come around until

645
00:35:09,140 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 2: I became me now, you know, when it's cute to say, Oh,

646
00:35:14,540 --> 00:35:17,390
Speaker 2: look what my daughter, my daughter, you know, look what

647
00:35:17,430 --> 00:35:18,050
Speaker 2: she's doing.

648
00:35:18,790 --> 00:35:21,290
Speaker 3: Right. Right. And so it's like, yes.

649
00:35:21,830 --> 00:35:25,610
Speaker 2: Um, in spite of, you know, so, um, my husband

650
00:35:25,670 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 2: is just, I, shout from the rooftops to anybody that

651
00:35:30,020 --> 00:35:36,170
Speaker 2: I'm the happiest wife, not because we have this fairytale love,

652
00:35:36,210 --> 00:35:40,310
Speaker 2: but it is the securest thing I've ever experienced in

653
00:35:40,570 --> 00:35:45,670
Speaker 2: my life. To have somebody who you don't have to

654
00:35:45,730 --> 00:35:51,010
Speaker 2: question whether or not your best intentions are their main

655
00:35:51,370 --> 00:35:55,670
Speaker 2: intentions and to know that he's not going to get

656
00:35:55,770 --> 00:35:58,350
Speaker 2: out like if he come down to it if he

657
00:35:58,370 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 2: come down to it if he come down to it

658
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,220
Speaker 2: he ready throw them hands behind his woman and so

659
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:09,899
Speaker 2: the fact that I know that also gives me the

660
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,259
Speaker 2: security to know that you know it is what it

661
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 2: is and I just look forward to what we can

662
00:36:17,900 --> 00:36:23,989
Speaker 2: keep building and having and Sometimes I just be like, oh,

663
00:36:24,010 --> 00:36:25,650
Speaker 2: my God, I live in a house full of dudes.

664
00:36:25,710 --> 00:36:28,899
Speaker 2: I'm the only girls because we have three, three, three boys.

665
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 2: And I live in a house full of clingy, touchy.

666
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,540
Speaker 2: Every five seconds, somebody got to be in my space.

667
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 2: And you look around and everybody in the house has

668
00:36:40,180 --> 00:36:41,140
Speaker 2: been inside your body.

669
00:36:41,489 --> 00:36:46,729
Speaker 3: Everybody. Listen, in or out, you know. And so I'm like, Jesus,

670
00:36:47,210 --> 00:36:48,130
Speaker 3: give me a break.

671
00:36:48,150 --> 00:36:52,430
Speaker 2: Yeah. Give me a break and, you know, my mom,

672
00:36:52,910 --> 00:36:56,740
Speaker 2: I'll say little things to her like, oh, girl, she's like, Jennifer,

673
00:36:57,420 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 2: it is worse problems to have.

674
00:36:59,739 --> 00:37:01,240
Speaker 3: Let me tell you, if your.

675
00:37:01,060 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 2: Biggest complaint with Tavares right now is that every time

676
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:06,660
Speaker 2: he go to the store, he got to call you

677
00:37:06,660 --> 00:37:10,450
Speaker 2: 20 times to say the same thing, if that's your

678
00:37:10,489 --> 00:37:20,130
Speaker 2: only problem, then take it. So you know online is

679
00:37:20,190 --> 00:37:23,370
Speaker 2: always this thing about women being submissive and blah.

680
00:37:23,390 --> 00:37:26,730
Speaker 3: Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. How do you and your.

681
00:37:26,630 --> 00:37:33,060
Speaker 2: Spouse like navigate decision making in your relationship? So each

682
00:37:33,140 --> 00:37:36,260
Speaker 2: one of us is good at different things. And we

683
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 2: have always allowed whoever has the strength to make the decision.

684
00:37:42,180 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 2: So my husband is really good with keeping up with

685
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 2: things like making everybody's doctor's appointments and dentist appointments and

686
00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 2: figuring out where we should go and do.

687
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 3: And certain things.

688
00:37:56,660 --> 00:38:00,029
Speaker 2: But his strong suit is not remembering when somebody has

689
00:38:00,090 --> 00:38:03,790
Speaker 2: a project due at school or when the parent-teacher conference

690
00:38:03,850 --> 00:38:07,469
Speaker 2: is and when the follow-up or the kids were volunteering

691
00:38:07,489 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 2: for the Valentine party, what they need back. That's not

692
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 2: his strong point. So whatever you're good at, that's what

693
00:38:14,739 --> 00:38:18,830
Speaker 2: you take the point on. Because we look at it

694
00:38:18,870 --> 00:38:23,230
Speaker 2: like these kids don't care who do what. The light

695
00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:26,050
Speaker 2: company don't care who pay.

696
00:38:25,890 --> 00:38:28,890
Speaker 3: It as long as it's paid.

697
00:38:29,350 --> 00:38:31,470
Speaker 2: Money has been one of those things in our relationship

698
00:38:31,489 --> 00:38:36,290
Speaker 2: that's never been an issue because when we didn't have it,

699
00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:38,580
Speaker 2: we figured it out. And now that we do have it,

700
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 2: it's the same. We pay what needs to be paid

701
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:45,509
Speaker 2: and we keep it pushing from there. I think the

702
00:38:45,550 --> 00:38:48,890
Speaker 2: whole debate on, you know, I'm not going 50-50 with

703
00:38:49,290 --> 00:38:53,260
Speaker 2: no men on no bills. We have a joint account.

704
00:38:53,420 --> 00:38:56,940
Speaker 2: So all the money going into the account and I'm

705
00:38:56,980 --> 00:38:59,500
Speaker 2: paying the bills. He's paying the bills. I mean, it.

706
00:39:00,140 --> 00:39:03,339
Speaker 3: You ain't got no little account on the side. Oh,

707
00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:08,850
Speaker 3: I have a big account on the side. Okay. That's right.

708
00:39:08,890 --> 00:39:14,629
Speaker 3: That's right, girl. And he knows that. And so, you know.

709
00:39:15,710 --> 00:39:18,170
Speaker 2: I work a full time job and I run my

710
00:39:18,210 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 2: business full time. And so my husband is a data analyst.

711
00:39:24,219 --> 00:39:29,569
Speaker 2: So he, makes more than I do. So the way

712
00:39:29,610 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 2: that we do our funds is that all the money

713
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 2: goes into one account from our job. So all the

714
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,180
Speaker 2: money goes into one account. We pay all of the bills,

715
00:39:40,300 --> 00:39:43,420
Speaker 2: whatever is left over, half goes into savings, and then

716
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,580
Speaker 2: we split the other half for you to be able

717
00:39:45,620 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 2: to do whatever it is that you want to do it.

718
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:54,100
Speaker 2: I manage my business money on my own. Um, and

719
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 2: it's not that it's, it's mine. It's just that my

720
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,299
Speaker 2: husband knows if he sees it, he going to be like, well,

721
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 2: we could do, or what if we did? And I'm,

722
00:40:05,469 --> 00:40:08,330
Speaker 2: and so we, once we recognize that that was a thing,

723
00:40:08,430 --> 00:40:10,350
Speaker 2: he's like, I don't even want to have access to

724
00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:14,709
Speaker 2: it because then when something happens and he's like, man, we,

725
00:40:14,930 --> 00:40:15,750
Speaker 2: we got to spend $ 4, 000 on.

726
00:40:17,550 --> 00:40:19,730
Speaker 3: X, Y, Z. I'm like, all right, bet it. I

727
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:24,450
Speaker 3: got it. Because I'm the saver. And since we know.

728
00:40:24,330 --> 00:40:28,410
Speaker 2: That's our strong point is what, then I handle the money.

729
00:40:29,140 --> 00:40:32,859
Speaker 2: If I wasn't the saver and he was, then he

730
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,020
Speaker 2: would handle it. And I wouldn't look at it like

731
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 2: he's giving me an allowance. No, we have to keep

732
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:42,069
Speaker 2: living beyond our immediate needs.

733
00:40:42,510 --> 00:40:42,690
Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

734
00:40:43,150 --> 00:40:47,190
Speaker 2: And so because we recognize that it's whoever has, whoever's

735
00:40:47,250 --> 00:40:51,650
Speaker 2: strongest at whatever it is, that's who does what. I

736
00:40:51,890 --> 00:40:55,470
Speaker 2: hate washing clothes. I don't want to touch nobody's dirty-ass drawers.

737
00:40:55,550 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 3: I don't want to touch your socks. I can imagine.

738
00:40:58,219 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 2: I don't want to turn your socks. And they take

739
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,299
Speaker 2: their socks off, but everything is inside out. Like, I don't,

740
00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:08,540
Speaker 2: and my husband, I had to, like, don't wash the

741
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,980
Speaker 2: clothes inside out. Like, he will just put it in there. But-

742
00:41:12,650 --> 00:41:16,730
Speaker 2: At this point, I'm like, whatever. I don't like washing clothes,

743
00:41:16,850 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 2: and he doesn't like folding clothes. So instead of it

744
00:41:19,390 --> 00:41:21,959
Speaker 2: being this power struggle of who needs to do what,

745
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 2: he washes the clothes, I fold the clothes up. Everybody

746
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 2: put their stuff up. Instead of it being this, well,

747
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,299
Speaker 2: you the woman, you need to do... We don't have

748
00:41:32,340 --> 00:41:34,620
Speaker 2: gender roles. Of course, you know, it's certain things that

749
00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:40,150
Speaker 2: people gravitate towards. He makes sure the car has gas.

750
00:41:40,170 --> 00:41:41,130
Speaker 3: Like, stuff dealing.

751
00:41:41,550 --> 00:41:45,170
Speaker 2: That's not my strong point. He makes sure the law

752
00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 2: men come. But listen, listen, he be ready too. He

753
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,859
Speaker 2: is so funny. I'm like, boy, I ain't never seen

754
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,819
Speaker 2: you vibing by your life. But the fact that you

755
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 2: be so ready.

756
00:41:55,620 --> 00:42:01,690
Speaker 3: I believe it. I believe it. I believe it with

757
00:42:01,710 --> 00:42:04,750
Speaker 3: my whole heart. I believe it. I bet you would.

758
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 2: And that's all I need. Because they ain't never going

759
00:42:08,980 --> 00:42:12,020
Speaker 2: to let you fight nobody. I just know that you

760
00:42:12,060 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 2: will when the time comes. If the time got that.

761
00:42:14,420 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 3: Dog in you to go in here and come through,

762
00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:17,339
Speaker 3: I can appreciate that.

763
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: Girl, listen, I had a million questions, but you answer

764
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 2: all of them. You answer every last one of them.

765
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 2: I was about to ask because another thing, like how

766
00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:31,020
Speaker 2: do you guys handle disagreements? Just different things that come

767
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 2: up in a marriage that people who haven't been married,

768
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,900
Speaker 2: they think they're going to do something one way, you know,

769
00:42:37,310 --> 00:42:38,890
Speaker 2: I can get some advice from you because you've been

770
00:42:38,910 --> 00:42:41,850
Speaker 2: married for 13 years now. How do you guys handle

771
00:42:41,870 --> 00:42:45,210
Speaker 2: disagreements in a marriage? So my husband is a, he

772
00:42:45,250 --> 00:42:47,350
Speaker 2: wants to talk about it right now type of person.

773
00:42:48,070 --> 00:42:51,430
Speaker 3: And I am not. I need a minute.

774
00:42:51,850 --> 00:42:56,379
Speaker 2: And so we had to learn that it's okay that

775
00:42:56,530 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 2: I need a minute, but I have to also be

776
00:42:58,980 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 2: respectful of the fact that I can't let.

777
00:43:01,180 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 3: That drag out for the day.

778
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 2: And so it was like, we set these boundaries of,

779
00:43:07,630 --> 00:43:10,570
Speaker 2: you get an hour to cool down because he.

780
00:43:10,590 --> 00:43:12,589
Speaker 3: Is burning him up to not be able to talk

781
00:43:12,630 --> 00:43:13,020
Speaker 3: about it.

782
00:43:13,140 --> 00:43:13,410
Speaker 2: Right.

783
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,100
Speaker 3: Right then and there. And I'm, I'm more coming down

784
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:18,740
Speaker 3: and he going up. Yeah. Right.

785
00:43:18,860 --> 00:43:21,580
Speaker 2: And so for, it's a lot of things that may

786
00:43:21,620 --> 00:43:25,489
Speaker 2: happen that he'll, he'll, he'll say you are too nonchalant

787
00:43:25,610 --> 00:43:28,630
Speaker 2: about things. And it's not, and I had to remind him,

788
00:43:28,710 --> 00:43:30,569
Speaker 2: it's not that I'm nonchalant about it. It's not that

789
00:43:30,610 --> 00:43:35,330
Speaker 2: I don't care. It's just that I know that, In

790
00:43:35,330 --> 00:43:38,810
Speaker 2: 20 minutes, none of this is about to be relevant.

791
00:43:39,570 --> 00:43:41,750
Speaker 2: So because I know it's not going to be relevant,

792
00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:44,210
Speaker 2: I'm not going to let myself get that worked up

793
00:43:44,290 --> 00:43:46,070
Speaker 2: because why?

794
00:43:47,270 --> 00:43:48,350
Speaker 3: And the stuff that we.

795
00:43:48,250 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 2: Going back and forth about isn't like, oh, who is

796
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,839
Speaker 2: this woman or who is this and that?

797
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,740
Speaker 3: It's like, why you didn't put a trash bag inside

798
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 3: the trash can?

799
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 2: Or I thought you said that you was going to

800
00:43:59,420 --> 00:44:01,980
Speaker 2: take this out or, you know, just little things.

801
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 3: But our biggest thing has always been.

802
00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 2: To keep it respectful. There is no name calling and

803
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:16,270
Speaker 2: you this and that and degrading and being demeaning to

804
00:44:16,310 --> 00:44:20,350
Speaker 2: the other person to get your point across. And we

805
00:44:20,430 --> 00:44:23,410
Speaker 2: often have this little thing like, if you got mad

806
00:44:23,450 --> 00:44:25,910
Speaker 2: at your boss, you wouldn't go to them and cuss

807
00:44:25,950 --> 00:44:28,029
Speaker 2: them out and talk to them all kind of crazy

808
00:44:28,050 --> 00:44:31,089
Speaker 2: or your coworker because you would fear that you would

809
00:44:31,130 --> 00:44:35,009
Speaker 2: lose your livelihood. But people will talk to their spouses

810
00:44:35,450 --> 00:44:38,830
Speaker 2: like trash. And it's like, how can you give a

811
00:44:38,890 --> 00:44:40,490
Speaker 2: stranger more respect.

812
00:44:40,070 --> 00:44:42,069
Speaker 3: Than you give your significant other?

813
00:44:42,890 --> 00:44:45,950
Speaker 2: And we adopted that model a long time ago. Like,

814
00:44:45,989 --> 00:44:50,490
Speaker 2: talk to me like your coworker. Talk to me nice

815
00:44:50,570 --> 00:44:54,620
Speaker 2: or don't talk to me at all. And sometimes, like,

816
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 2: if it's like a heated thing, especially because we have kids,

817
00:45:00,219 --> 00:45:06,860
Speaker 2: we'll text, like, because you thought she was about to

818
00:45:07,340 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 2: or so because we don't ever want to create this

819
00:45:11,860 --> 00:45:14,439
Speaker 2: environment for them you know where they living with their

820
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 2: parents going back and forth and that sort of thing

821
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,029
Speaker 2: I never want to give my children a childhood that

822
00:45:21,070 --> 00:45:26,529
Speaker 2: they have to recover from like be fun loving black

823
00:45:26,590 --> 00:45:30,350
Speaker 2: boys who just your kids are either going to want

824
00:45:30,390 --> 00:45:33,090
Speaker 2: a marriage just like yours or nothing like yours.

825
00:45:33,570 --> 00:45:35,870
Speaker 3: Right. Those are the only two options.

826
00:45:35,890 --> 00:45:37,310
Speaker 2: They're going to be like, I ain't never seen my

827
00:45:37,350 --> 00:45:42,350
Speaker 2: mama and daddy fight. Meanwhile, y'all texting like, yeah, nigga. Ooh, baby,

828
00:45:42,390 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 2: your ballin' mama. Like, I'm on y'all ass. I'm on

829
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:47,739
Speaker 2: your mama's ass.

830
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,580
Speaker 3: They have to save relationships sometimes. You know what I'm saying?

831
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,660
Speaker 3: Because verbally, you fuck around and say something real nasty

832
00:45:53,340 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 3: to your partner. Yes. Yes. It's a little bit different.

833
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:58,180
Speaker 3: You don't mean it.

834
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you don't mean it because my text, because

835
00:46:02,340 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 2: your texts are autocorrect. When you're trying to cuss and

836
00:46:05,860 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 2: it's like duck, it's like, I wasn't trying to say duck.

837
00:46:08,620 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 3: Like, I didn't mean what I was trying to say.

838
00:46:10,900 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 2: But it definitely helps to going back to the security

839
00:46:16,180 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 2: piece of things. I don't let too much get to

840
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:24,759
Speaker 2: me because I'm like, dude, you... I know this is

841
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:27,339
Speaker 2: not going to be a big deal. And because I

842
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 2: know it's not going to be a big deal, I'm

843
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 2: not even going to get ready to get all that

844
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:37,410
Speaker 2: work worked up. Our biggest argument always across the board is,

845
00:46:37,469 --> 00:46:38,950
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't even call it an argument, but the

846
00:46:38,989 --> 00:46:41,190
Speaker 2: biggest thing to go back and forth is, my husband

847
00:46:41,230 --> 00:46:44,489
Speaker 2: thinks that we're supposed to have sex like 45,000 times

848
00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:51,089
Speaker 2: a day. And he thinks that other people, he's like,

849
00:46:51,310 --> 00:46:54,629
Speaker 2: I'm sure we the only married people that's having sex

850
00:46:54,670 --> 00:46:55,780
Speaker 2: like four times a week.

851
00:46:55,969 --> 00:47:01,580
Speaker 3: That's not, I'm like, I'm like, do you not know.

852
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:05,840
Speaker 2: What, no, I'm like, bro, we have like, we literally,

853
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,399
Speaker 2: like clockwork, are going to have sex at least every

854
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,830
Speaker 2: other day. Like, at least every other day, that is

855
00:47:11,890 --> 00:47:17,650
Speaker 2: going to be a thing. And he'll say stuff like, people,

856
00:47:17,989 --> 00:47:21,460
Speaker 2: I'm sure folks out here married, they doing, you need to, I'm.

857
00:47:21,390 --> 00:47:24,350
Speaker 3: Like, No, that is four times a week with a

858
00:47:24,390 --> 00:47:24,870
Speaker 3: healthy sex life.

859
00:47:24,890 --> 00:47:26,930
Speaker 2: For two people who've been married for 13 years and

860
00:47:26,969 --> 00:47:30,090
Speaker 2: three kids, that is a lot of sex.

861
00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:34,630
Speaker 3: Three kids, three.

862
00:47:34,410 --> 00:47:39,060
Speaker 2: Kids, a business, a this, a that, all of these things,

863
00:47:39,260 --> 00:47:44,180
Speaker 2: a dog, all this stuff. I'm on the PTA board.

864
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 2: I'm room mom, all these things. I'm like, it is

865
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 2: this is healthy. And I, and it's not that we

866
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,169
Speaker 2: argue about it, but it's like, if it's anything that's

867
00:47:56,210 --> 00:48:02,910
Speaker 2: going to cause some type of friction, it is him

868
00:48:02,950 --> 00:48:09,109
Speaker 2: looking at me and I'm looking like, I'm, I bend

869
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 2: over the time I.

870
00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:11,940
Speaker 3: Show up and he's like, Oh, you trying to be, you, you,

871
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 3: you trying to be freaky. I'm trying not to fall.

872
00:48:17,219 --> 00:48:20,500
Speaker 3: I'm trying not to trip. Like, I'm putting on lotion.

873
00:48:20,540 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 3: You're going to fall on this dick you bend over

874
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:22,779
Speaker 3: right now.

875
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 2: Basically, basically, you know. And he's like, I'm like, I'm

876
00:48:26,180 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 2: putting on lotion. I was like, oh, so you're trying

877
00:48:27,580 --> 00:48:31,169
Speaker 2: to get oiled up for me. I'm trying to preserve

878
00:48:31,230 --> 00:48:35,730
Speaker 2: my skin. Like, I don't, I'm trying to moisturize myself.

879
00:48:36,850 --> 00:48:39,850
Speaker 3: But, okay, we both work from home.

880
00:48:40,030 --> 00:48:42,989
Speaker 2: So, it just feels like it just needs to be

881
00:48:43,030 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 2: this free for all, all the time.

882
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 3: So, that is probably what we.

883
00:48:49,910 --> 00:48:54,010
Speaker 2: But something that I do, I make it a point

884
00:48:54,070 --> 00:48:57,509
Speaker 2: to like randomly, or it could just be a random Tuesday,

885
00:48:57,510 --> 00:49:02,590
Speaker 2: 10 o'clock. I'm like, boom, I'm going in here. I'm

886
00:49:03,050 --> 00:49:07,390
Speaker 2: in here before I even go in there. I'm going

887
00:49:07,489 --> 00:49:10,509
Speaker 2: in and show out real quick on a Tuesday. It's

888
00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:12,110
Speaker 2: going up on a Tuesday for real.

889
00:49:12,150 --> 00:49:12,989
Speaker 3: I'm like, come on.

890
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:15,799
Speaker 2: And then I catch you off guard, you know what

891
00:49:15,820 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 2: I'm saying? And you you out here thinking you missed

892
00:49:18,739 --> 00:49:20,420
Speaker 2: a big shot for the rest of the day but

893
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 2: in my mind I'm thinking why not the rest of

894
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 2: the night to.

895
00:49:23,860 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 3: Do whatever to.

896
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,760
Speaker 2: Do without without without you sitting on the couch like

897
00:49:30,780 --> 00:49:34,219
Speaker 2: what are you talking about what time you going to bed.

898
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,529
Speaker 3: That's a good problem to have though. Yeah.

899
00:49:38,610 --> 00:49:41,350
Speaker 2: That's a good problem to have. So I'll take it.

900
00:49:41,670 --> 00:49:45,790
Speaker 2: I'll take it. Do you have any advice for women

901
00:49:46,170 --> 00:49:49,029
Speaker 2: who are in marriages and they don't seem very happy

902
00:49:49,170 --> 00:49:51,710
Speaker 2: or any advice for women who are looking for love

903
00:49:52,170 --> 00:49:52,890
Speaker 2: or any advice?

904
00:49:53,130 --> 00:49:53,569
Speaker 3: What do you have?

905
00:49:54,610 --> 00:49:57,410
Speaker 2: If you are in a marriage and you are unhappy,

906
00:49:57,489 --> 00:50:00,219
Speaker 2: first of all, figure out why you're unhappy. Are you

907
00:50:00,340 --> 00:50:05,380
Speaker 2: unhappy because you are comparing your life to somebody else's?

908
00:50:06,170 --> 00:50:09,730
Speaker 2: are you unhappy because you want this social media love

909
00:50:11,050 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 2: and you're not getting that? I see that with a

910
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 2: lot of people. Your husband may not be the Instagram

911
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:24,280
Speaker 2: husband and that's okay. It doesn't mean he loves you

912
00:50:24,469 --> 00:50:29,590
Speaker 2: any less. And so it's comparison is the thief of joy.

913
00:50:29,810 --> 00:50:33,430
Speaker 2: And I think that that really hurts people. My husband

914
00:50:33,469 --> 00:50:35,790
Speaker 2: is not going, if you go to his Instagram, it's

915
00:50:35,850 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 2: probably like 30 pictures.

916
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,180
Speaker 3: I'm sure 17 of them is of me. The other

917
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 3: ones are the kids. He don't, it ain't, it ain't

918
00:50:42,420 --> 00:50:45,900
Speaker 3: nothing on there. He's not a, I'm a post you

919
00:50:46,340 --> 00:50:47,060
Speaker 3: type of dude.

920
00:50:47,900 --> 00:50:53,900
Speaker 2: And I'm okay with that because in real life, like.

921
00:50:54,500 --> 00:51:01,680
Speaker 3: You, you, you double tapping me in real life. So it's, Okay.

922
00:51:01,969 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 2: But I think that a lot of times in this

923
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:06,919
Speaker 2: day and age with social media, I'm finding that people

924
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,900
Speaker 2: are unhappy in their relationships because it's not living up

925
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 2: to this 60 second reel that's being put up with

926
00:51:14,739 --> 00:51:18,620
Speaker 2: your husband showing up with flowers and doing this and

927
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,820
Speaker 2: doing that. But the things that he is doing for you,

928
00:51:23,340 --> 00:51:26,710
Speaker 2: you know, could be taking the place of all of that.

929
00:51:26,790 --> 00:51:28,750
Speaker 2: It's just not aesthetically pleasing.

930
00:51:28,770 --> 00:51:29,050
Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.

931
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 2: And so I think that focusing on the good in

932
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,629
Speaker 2: your own relationship is great.

933
00:51:35,710 --> 00:51:38,470
Speaker 3: Now, if he whooping your ass, you need to be divorced.

934
00:51:40,450 --> 00:51:43,690
Speaker 2: If he out here knocking you upside your head and

935
00:51:43,790 --> 00:51:46,360
Speaker 2: sleeping with everybody under the sun and doing all.

936
00:51:46,980 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 3: Go ahead and move on, sis. Like, go ahead.

937
00:51:50,180 --> 00:51:54,940
Speaker 2: But to people that are dating, that are wanting to

938
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 2: be in a relationship and want to be with somebody.

939
00:51:57,710 --> 00:51:58,070
Speaker 3: My.

940
00:51:57,950 --> 00:52:01,090
Speaker 2: Biggest piece of advice is that list that you have

941
00:52:01,550 --> 00:52:07,150
Speaker 2: of he needs to be this tall, make this much money,

942
00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:12,989
Speaker 2: have all these things that at any point could change, right?

943
00:52:13,050 --> 00:52:17,069
Speaker 2: So he has to be this tall. What if he

944
00:52:17,110 --> 00:52:18,730
Speaker 2: was that tall and he got in a car accident

945
00:52:18,790 --> 00:52:21,750
Speaker 2: and now he in a wheelchair? Now he's not that tall.

946
00:52:22,130 --> 00:52:25,250
Speaker 2: What if he had this amazing job and then he

947
00:52:25,370 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 2: lost it? Those are not character traits. Those are not

948
00:52:28,860 --> 00:52:31,379
Speaker 2: things that will sustain.

949
00:52:30,820 --> 00:52:32,100
Speaker 3: You in a marriage.

950
00:52:32,660 --> 00:52:36,620
Speaker 2: And I think that having people often say like, I

951
00:52:36,700 --> 00:52:38,270
Speaker 2: want a good man.

952
00:52:38,450 --> 00:52:40,810
Speaker 3: I want a good woman. Well, what does that actually

953
00:52:40,890 --> 00:52:42,650
Speaker 3: mean for you? Right.

954
00:52:43,330 --> 00:52:45,609
Speaker 2: What that means for you and what that means for

955
00:52:45,650 --> 00:52:49,000
Speaker 2: me is two totally different things. So I think being

956
00:52:49,060 --> 00:52:52,779
Speaker 2: able to write down like character and look at what

957
00:52:52,820 --> 00:52:56,190
Speaker 2: you write. If you say, I want a good man,

958
00:52:56,250 --> 00:52:59,509
Speaker 2: and then you immediately go into, he got to make

959
00:52:59,570 --> 00:53:01,870
Speaker 2: six figures, be six foot.

960
00:53:01,710 --> 00:53:06,660
Speaker 3: Five, light skin, drive this and that. Those are not.

961
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:10,299
Speaker 3: Got to have a dick like Drake. Girl, I said, uh.

962
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 3: I said, what? I was like, girl, did you see

963
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:19,930
Speaker 3: Drake Dick? My husband.

964
00:53:21,610 --> 00:53:26,450
Speaker 2: Was like, so y'all just really only looking at Drake Dick?

965
00:53:27,110 --> 00:53:29,490
Speaker 3: And I was. And I was. I said, oh my God,

966
00:53:29,510 --> 00:53:34,060
Speaker 3: this is a video. Hold on. This was a picture.

967
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,800
Speaker 3: Just in case they take it down, Drake, I always

968
00:53:36,820 --> 00:53:40,090
Speaker 3: got your dick, baby. Yes, you did.

969
00:53:42,590 --> 00:53:44,250
Speaker 2: And that you know that is something that i do

970
00:53:44,290 --> 00:53:47,870
Speaker 2: love about my marriage is like he wasn't insecure by

971
00:53:47,890 --> 00:53:52,250
Speaker 2: that insecure or offended that i i mean it's something

972
00:53:52,270 --> 00:53:55,530
Speaker 2: that's floating around on on social media if somebody said

973
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 2: i've seen beyonce's titties.

974
00:53:57,420 --> 00:54:02,839
Speaker 4: I'ma look i'm just like it's curiosity you know and

975
00:54:02,860 --> 00:54:06,739
Speaker 4: so i just yeah drake's drake's dick definitely has been

976
00:54:07,980 --> 00:54:09,340
Speaker 4: the donkey of the day.

977
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:16,859
Speaker 3: For real. Literally.

978
00:54:17,820 --> 00:54:22,230
Speaker 2: Literally donkey of the day.

979
00:54:23,030 --> 00:54:24,690
Speaker 3: Well, let me tell you something. Mrs.

980
00:54:24,730 --> 00:54:27,469
Speaker 2: Jennifer Allen, this was such a great interview. You were

981
00:54:27,550 --> 00:54:30,330
Speaker 2: a great guest. I want you to plug all your things.

982
00:54:30,410 --> 00:54:31,819
Speaker 2: Plug your micro.

983
00:54:31,550 --> 00:54:33,820
Speaker 3: Wedding venue and all the costumes, please.

984
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:38,950
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I am the owner of Justy Lope. I'm

985
00:54:39,010 --> 00:54:42,210
Speaker 2: a micro wedding planning expert based here in the Dallas,

986
00:54:42,230 --> 00:54:45,850
Speaker 2: Texas area. I'm on social media at Justy Lope LLC.

987
00:54:46,230 --> 00:54:48,950
Speaker 2: I have a podcast called the Wedding to Wife Podcast

988
00:54:49,250 --> 00:54:52,150
Speaker 2: where we talk about all things from wedding planning to

989
00:54:52,250 --> 00:54:55,790
Speaker 2: wife life because it is more than just getting that ring.

990
00:54:55,850 --> 00:54:58,770
Speaker 2: And we also want to educate brides on what it

991
00:54:58,810 --> 00:55:02,430
Speaker 2: takes to actually pull off these Pinterest worthy weddings. We

992
00:55:02,469 --> 00:55:08,410
Speaker 2: talk about bridesmaids disaster stories and people that have called

993
00:55:08,489 --> 00:55:13,150
Speaker 2: off weddings called off in engagements and season two launches

994
00:55:13,210 --> 00:55:17,290
Speaker 2: next month and i'm super super excited about that but

995
00:55:17,330 --> 00:55:19,730
Speaker 2: yeah so that's the wedding to wife podcast and my

996
00:55:19,770 --> 00:55:21,149
Speaker 2: personal social media is.

997
00:55:21,190 --> 00:55:23,830
Speaker 3: I am thank you so much.

998
00:55:23,590 --> 00:55:25,770
Speaker 5: Thank you girl i'm gonna listen to your podcast too

999
00:55:25,810 --> 00:55:27,750
Speaker 5: i am thank you thank you because i'm very excited

1000
00:55:28,340 --> 00:55:33,060
Speaker 5: I'm getting engaged next year to Drake, so we probably...

1001
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 5: Come on, come on, come on.

1002
00:55:35,340 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 3: I won't even look at him no type of way.

1003
00:55:37,940 --> 00:55:48,050
Speaker 3: For everybody. For everybody. For everybody. She was like, y'all...

1004
00:55:49,270 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 3: She said, look at our man. Ladies and gentlemen, our husband.

1005
00:55:57,190 --> 00:55:59,770
Speaker 3: I was like, I feel relieved for some reason. Like,

1006
00:55:59,810 --> 00:56:05,469
Speaker 3: now she know. Yeah. Yeah. Y'all have been great. I

1007
00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:10,140
Speaker 3: appreciate y'all having me on. You too. Thank you so much, Jennifer,

1008
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:11,339
Speaker 3: for joining We Talk Back.

1009
00:56:11,380 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 2: Y'all, if you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every

1010
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 2: Thursday on your iHeartRadio app.

1011
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:18,370
Speaker 3: And we're going to fuck you, get your podcast ad.

1012
00:56:18,410 --> 00:56:23,350
Speaker 3: This is your co-host, AJ Holiday. 2.0 on Instagram. Let's

1013
00:56:23,410 --> 00:56:27,140
Speaker 3: kick it, Tam. Y'all, it's Official Tam on Instagram. Y'all

1014
00:56:27,180 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 3: follow me. And if y'all enjoyed this episode, I really

1015
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,420
Speaker 3: enjoyed this episode. It makes me so hopeful.

1016
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:33,730
Speaker 2: And I'm just like a hopeless romantic, and I know

1017
00:56:33,770 --> 00:56:36,009
Speaker 2: some of you all are. So if you enjoyed this,

1018
00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:38,270
Speaker 2: come back next week for a part two. We're going

1019
00:56:38,290 --> 00:56:42,150
Speaker 2: to have another happy wife on. Y'all remember, speak now.

1020
00:56:42,690 --> 00:56:46,359
Speaker 3: And never hold your peace or meet like Drake. Have

1021
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 3: a good day. Stop talking about my husband, okay? Bye, y'all.

1022
00:56:51,900 --> 00:56:55,800
Speaker 1: We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit

1023
00:56:55,820 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

1024
00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:00,430
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.