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Speaker 1: The nikki. Here's Nikki here? I am, Oh hello, how's

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Speaker 1: it going out there? We're rounding out the week? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I'm gonna miss doing this over the weekend.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with myself. Uh if

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Speaker 1: I don't start my day with this, no, uh, happy

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Speaker 1: birthday right off the thank you? How does it feel

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Speaker 1: that it's your birthday? Are you of your birthday person

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Speaker 1: right like you like them? Definitely? Definitely not a birthday

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Speaker 1: person are because anyone who likes birthdays usually celebrates other

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Speaker 1: people's very well, and you are very good at celebrating mine,

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Speaker 1: which is why I always feel an impending sense of

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Speaker 1: guilt when yours approaches, and I never know it because no, generally,

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Speaker 1: if people give you good gifts, it's like they good

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Speaker 1: gifts for their birthday. But maybe that's not the case

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Speaker 1: for you. But you always not get out of the

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Speaker 1: park for mine, and I feel, um, you know what,

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Speaker 1: you don't make me feel bad. I feel bad on

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Speaker 1: my own accord um, but I don't. I'm gonna release it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be as good of a friend to

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Speaker 1: you on your birthday as I can and celebrate you.

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Speaker 1: And it might just not come in the form of

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Speaker 1: a gift that arrives on time. No, you already gave

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Speaker 1: me a gift by waking up early to do my podcast.

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Speaker 1: That is what is your What are you doing today?

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Speaker 1: Every birthday? And and you are a birthday person, get

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Speaker 1: out of here, you must be. I don't like to

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Speaker 1: be the um, the center of attention, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like what's my birthday? Kind of imposes that on me.

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Speaker 1: It just makes me so uncomfortable. I know where it

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Speaker 1: comes from, UM, and I like, I don't care about birthdays.

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Speaker 1: It's always like a day where I just want to text.

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Speaker 1: Or if I don't get a text, that's fine too.

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Speaker 1: Don't hold it against anyone. UM. But for my birthday,

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Speaker 1: I'm taking myself horseback riding tomorrow morning. Nice cowgirls style,

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Speaker 1: which means no saddle and it's your reverse. Man, I

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Speaker 1: can only picture cowgirl on this sense of reverse. So

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Speaker 1: what does that mean cowgirl style? I could I just

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Speaker 1: get to wear cowboy boots. And it's a style of

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Speaker 1: riding a horse. There's like English and Western okay, so

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Speaker 1: it's West learning Western okay. Yeah. Um, So why are

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Speaker 1: we up early then doing this? If you have nothing

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Speaker 1: to do all day today, bitch, No, I do have something.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing today for your birthday? So? Um,

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Speaker 1: I have my my fiance's dad coming to town and

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Speaker 1: we're just gonna go to I've ever heard my face.

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Speaker 1: It's dad and I are going to dinner. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I assume your fiance is also going to be there,

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Speaker 1: but like, honestly, fiance's dad it's not even worth having

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Speaker 1: a fiance and boyfriend's dad sounds better. Fiance's dad sounds

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Speaker 1: like some kind of punishment and porn search. But I

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Speaker 1: won't put that in your head as before you go

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Speaker 1: to dinner. Okay, so you have a you have a

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Speaker 1: you have a dinner with your fiances that is like

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Speaker 1: the worst. I don't care if your dad, for fiance's

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Speaker 1: dad is like fucking Tom Hanks, which is not you

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Speaker 1: don't want to go to You don't want to go

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Speaker 1: to dinner with a fiance's dad for your birthday? Or

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Speaker 1: do you it's okay? I mean he's coming to town

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Speaker 1: for your birthday? Who set this up? Did you say

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Speaker 1: that's what I wanted? No, it's it's not what I said,

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Speaker 1: but it's just the timing worked out that way. And um,

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Speaker 1: usually for my birthday. We do act like for birthdays,

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Speaker 1: we do activities, we don't do presents. And my present

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Speaker 1: is coming in May, like that day will be in May. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so he's going to give you your present as of

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Speaker 1: an activity in May. How However, if he doesn't also

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Speaker 1: get you something today in terms of like a card,

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Speaker 1: a just a little thing, yeah, it's I'll be annoyed.

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Speaker 1: He will you. Yeah, I'm sure I think he got

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Speaker 1: one because he's like, oh, do you want your presence?

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Speaker 1: Your your your present tonight, which was last night, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm too tired to accept anything right now,

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Speaker 1: and he goes already wanted in May, and it is

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Speaker 1: going to be a gift card to the bass Pro

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Speaker 1: shop that my my dad, Rick and you will spend

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Speaker 1: together when he comes back in May for all birthday

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Speaker 1: associated activities. Yes, um okay, so he's getting you a

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Speaker 1: gift that is before May. Wait, did you guys agree

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Speaker 1: on this like activity as a gift policy? Um? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we kind of had a discussion about it because I'm

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Speaker 1: not very much a present person. I don't expect a present.

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Speaker 1: If I get one out of the blue because someone

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Speaker 1: saw something and they thought of me, then that means

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Speaker 1: a lot love love. Yeah. Um, but we just kind

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Speaker 1: of decided that for birthdays will do activities. And I've

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Speaker 1: been killing it on his birthday just to let you know, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what did you do? What have you done? I took

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Speaker 1: him a mountain climbing. Uh. And I also took him

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Speaker 1: remember ice climbing. My god, I do have anything else

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Speaker 1: to climb at this point? Probably not, but you know,

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Speaker 1: just like drying new things. Uh, it's the climb. I'm

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Speaker 1: singing that Mila Sarah song. I think would like what

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Speaker 1: I really, I think you would love it. I have

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Speaker 1: strong legs, so I think i'd be good because it

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Speaker 1: is all about legs, right. People are under the illusion

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Speaker 1: that it's like a lot of like arms, but it's

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Speaker 1: like your legs. Your arms grasp and your legs are

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Speaker 1: doing the most of the like pushing you up. According

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Speaker 1: to the instructor, it's all about the rubber man. What's

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Speaker 1: the rubber rubber on the bottoms of your shoes? Oh? Oh,

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Speaker 1: that grip. But he would like it because I think

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Speaker 1: he would like how the harness feels. Because I know

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Speaker 1: you're into like ropes and stuff. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: knots I'm not seeing I'm not. I like ropes just

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Speaker 1: because they are part of like sex practice that makes

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Speaker 1: you stay in place and like can't move, But I

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Speaker 1: don't like them like as ropes themselves. I was frozen

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Speaker 1: into Clare and I kept me in place. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: were you so scared? But you were? But uh did

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Speaker 1: you feel very safe? Though? I mean was It had

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Speaker 1: to have been very safe. This isn't like free climbing. No, no,

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Speaker 1: it's not free climbing. And I think that's a part

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Speaker 1: of why, Uh, I signed up to do these things.

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Speaker 1: He enjoys the thrill stuff I don't. But it definitely

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Speaker 1: is a good bonding. It's like we talked about in

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Speaker 1: the podcast two days ago, trauma bonding. Yeah, that's that's Uh,

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Speaker 1: that's a good idea. Um yeah, just keep your relationship

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Speaker 1: in going through stages where you both think you're gonna

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Speaker 1: die and have to hold onto each other for dear life,

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Speaker 1: and like you might have that cliffhanger moment, but I've

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Speaker 1: only seen the beginning of that movie. I think he's

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Speaker 1: like holding onto a woman and then she falls. Did

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Speaker 1: you ever see that? It's like I think it's what's

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Speaker 1: his name Ramboster. Yeah, it's like in the beginning of

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Speaker 1: the movie, he's like rock climbing with a chicken. He's

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Speaker 1: like holding her and then he loses grip and she

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Speaker 1: just watched her fall down this like canyon and then

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Speaker 1: I never saw the rest of it. But um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a good idea to create traumatic um events too,

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Speaker 1: Like okay, but I gotta ask you. We talked about

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Speaker 1: the book yesterday in the intro the book that I

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Speaker 1: recommend everyone, the book that I'm reading again that I'm

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Speaker 1: learning so much about women and myself from um. So

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Speaker 1: much resentment can come from birthday presence and like not

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Speaker 1: thinking of like the like if my boyfriend were to say, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to take you to dinner. That's your birthday gift,

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Speaker 1: and I would probably agree to that, and then there

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Speaker 1: would be like a small resentment like you gotta give

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Speaker 1: me something else that was in the past. I think

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Speaker 1: now I would be like, hey, my birthday is coming up.

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Speaker 1: I I really value thoughtful gifts from my partner. And

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Speaker 1: that doesn't have to be like, um, the money thing.

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Speaker 1: It can literally be like my favorite gift to give

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Speaker 1: is a a heartfelt card that is like takes up

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Speaker 1: both sides of the card in terms of like just

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Speaker 1: writing your feelings about someone because it's something they can keep.

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Speaker 1: It's something they can put in a shoebox and someday

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Speaker 1: the kids will find it and know how important there,

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Speaker 1: you know, great uncle or their dad or their mom

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Speaker 1: was to this random person who wrote a card like

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Speaker 1: it's a little it's it's more important. It's better than

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Speaker 1: like a gift card to anthropology, which I did get

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Speaker 1: you in years pained, but you've also given me the

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Speaker 1: two sided card and I keep it. Um, Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I just kind of keep it out like in the

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Speaker 1: kitchen and here and there, like I'll pass by it

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Speaker 1: and i'll pick it up and i'll read it, or

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Speaker 1: like if I'll have in the drawer and i'll find it.

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Speaker 1: It's always like a hit of dopamine and it's very thoughtful.

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Speaker 1: Well you you're really good about that too, of like

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Speaker 1: just sending me texts that are like these like towers

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Speaker 1: of texts that are just like how you feel about me,

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Speaker 1: and they just are so uplifting and make me just

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Speaker 1: be gentler to myself. So yeah, that's what I mean. Like,

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Speaker 1: if you're looking to get your mom a gift. You

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Speaker 1: can't afford anything, Just write your feelings in a fucking card.

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Speaker 1: It to cost no money. Literally, get a piece of

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Speaker 1: paper from the printer cuts, you know, folded into four's,

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Speaker 1: draw a little rabbit on the front and say happy

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Speaker 1: bund I was trying to make some like rabbit pun uh,

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Speaker 1: like they put carrots on a case I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like wrapped. Just draw anything you're good at drawing, even

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Speaker 1: if it's one of those says where the three lines

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Speaker 1: and then three lines underneath and you connected, and then

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Speaker 1: just have it open up and say mom, And then

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Speaker 1: write all the good things about your mom, even if

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Speaker 1: she is a total witch and you resent her deeply

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Speaker 1: and you've spent hundreds of dollars in therapy like recovering

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Speaker 1: from what she did to you, Because that's all you

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Speaker 1: need to do, and it will makes people feel so

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Speaker 1: freaking good you can't even believe it. It's the cheapest way.

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Speaker 1: So um, now that I've already done that for you,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm going to do it again. Just kidding,

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Speaker 1: I will be letting you know how I feel about

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Speaker 1: I think I did that yesterday, which is the ironic thing.

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Speaker 1: As I sent you a text saying how great you

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Speaker 1: are to me, and then I found out it was

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Speaker 1: your birthday later, and I'm like a sense. I had

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Speaker 1: a sense that I needed to dump my feelings about

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Speaker 1: you onto you. We'll happy birthday, knowing let's bring Andrew

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Speaker 1: in here and get the celebration started. Andrew, how's it going, Bud, Bud?

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Speaker 1: You recognize this place? Ah? Yeah, I see You're in

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Speaker 1: my my apartment, our apartment. Welcome to the show. It's

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Speaker 1: now his birthday. Do you know that? Of course I do.

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Speaker 1: Happy birthday? No Ah, a K Lady Gaga, Hey K Gaga, Lady,

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Speaker 1: thank you? Let me. Did you get a phone yet? Andrew?

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Speaker 1: You're back in St. Louis. You traveled all day yesterday.

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Speaker 1: You arrived last night at Lambert Air internationally report at

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Speaker 1: nine fifty pm, guessing you landed on time. I did

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Speaker 1: land on time. I have not got to get Did

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Speaker 1: your lady pick you up? She did pick me up,

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Speaker 1: which I did not, which was funny because two days

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Speaker 1: ago I was like, hey, you know, I'm getting in

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Speaker 1: at ten pm. Be great if you came over, I'd

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Speaker 1: love to see you. She's like, oh, that's a little

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Speaker 1: it's a little late. And I was like Jesus. I

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Speaker 1: was like all right, and then she was like, having,

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Speaker 1: did you write back Jesus or did you just go

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Speaker 1: Jesus to yourself? I went Jesus to myself to her

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Speaker 1: and you kind of threw your phone across the bed

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Speaker 1: and like put your face down of the pillow and

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Speaker 1: then two seconds la or you picked him back up.

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Speaker 1: Well it's broken. But yes, this was all on Instagram

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Speaker 1: on my computer. But yeah, So then yesterday I was

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Speaker 1: just like, yeah, I'm gonna I'm coming in and she's

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Speaker 1: she's I was like, you could pick me up if

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Speaker 1: you want, like as a joke kind of, She's like,

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Speaker 1: I'd love to, and it was like I think she

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Speaker 1: had a couple of days to think about it. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: she picked me up and it was awesome to get

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Speaker 1: picked up by the airport. Like that hug that you

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Speaker 1: come back to. I don't know it's like, but it

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Speaker 1: does feel better than hugging your cab driver. Um, yes,

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Speaker 1: although I don't know. Sometimes, yeah, hug from a man

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Speaker 1: who hasn't hugged someone in a while and he's got

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Speaker 1: those like would I be did things like kind of

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Speaker 1: carved into his back from the seat cover and you

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Speaker 1: can rub them on your hands and it feels like

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Speaker 1: you're playing a It's like brail and it says I

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Speaker 1: love you on his back. The blind people is nice. Yeah, um,

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Speaker 1: but it was awesome. I mean we like, you know,

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Speaker 1: we were gone two months. We don't feel like we

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Speaker 1: were gone two months. At least I didn't. Uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're gone more than two months, buddy, two months in

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Speaker 1: four days. Oh my bad. I was way off. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's just like sometimes people say two months and they're

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Speaker 1: rounding up, but it's like we're rounding down. Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was one sixth of our year. I mean, it's it's

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Speaker 1: it's longer than I think. I initially thought it was

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Speaker 1: gonna be when I left, like seven weeks or whatever.

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Speaker 1: I'm just leaving. And I came back and honestly, it

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Speaker 1: felt very uh, very easy, and we like step right

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Speaker 1: back into having a good time. There was no awkwardness

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Speaker 1: and I really enjoyed her company. It was great. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's so nice. How's the apartment? The apartment, dude, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you got from borrow, but there's

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Speaker 1: sixteen big boxes in this house right now. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: gotta put it all together. You gotta have my task

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Speaker 1: rabbit guy. I think his name is Dave or Michael

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Speaker 1: or something like or Taxi. He's got to come over.

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Speaker 1: His card is in the drawer. I'll give you his number.

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Speaker 1: But he's gonna come over and he'll be banging away

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Speaker 1: all day and he'll put it all together. And then yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know where we're gonna put it all, but

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Speaker 1: we we gotta do it. We gotta fit it, you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we'll talk about the podcast studio eventually. But

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Speaker 1: you've got some really cool chairs. It looks like here

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Speaker 1: and I could actually go well in there. But we'll

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Speaker 1: see what happens I'm talking about. I think that some

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Speaker 1: of it can be used. Yeah, yeah, but yeah no,

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Speaker 1: so yeah, all the boxes you're gonna get to work

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Speaker 1: pretty soon here. Then right, I'm hitting the ground running.

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Speaker 1: You gotta get the phone though you got a phone yet?

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Speaker 1: How do you sleep last night? You didn't sleep much.

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Speaker 1: I didn't sleep much at all. How much stock did

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Speaker 1: you save up? How much did you not jerk off

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Speaker 1: before seeing your lady? I want to know, I think

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Speaker 1: because it's weird. I want to know how because you

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Speaker 1: were staying with um in a condo here in the

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Speaker 1: Caymans for the past since I guess Saturday. I'm wondering

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Speaker 1: if you jerked off at all from Saturday until Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: It's a good question. Yeah, I'm being do you usually

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Speaker 1: save your stock, especially for a lady you're you're a

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Speaker 1: lady that you haven't seen for two months. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: saved the stock. I definitely saved I think five days

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Speaker 1: of stock. Oh boy, Andrew, you must have been going nuts.

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Speaker 1: No phone, no jerking off. What were you like yesterday?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think I've ever been more calm

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Speaker 1: once I found out she was picking me up from

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Speaker 1: the airport. Your boy, was that flight. It was fun

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Speaker 1: to look forward to it. And the stock was ready.

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Speaker 1: It's been brewing. It's like you know when you put

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Speaker 1: something in like a a pot for years, you know,

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Speaker 1: and it really bruised up and gets all the two years.

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Speaker 1: I think that mold starts to grow. And well, there

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Speaker 1: was there was a situation where you need to bring

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Speaker 1: in a you know, a team boarding team. There's a

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Speaker 1: team of one, and I mean, yeah, it was it

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Speaker 1: was a lot. There was a lot of stock that

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Speaker 1: came out last night. We didn't I didn't want that.

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Speaker 1: I just don't know like how quickly the stock was shed.

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Speaker 1: The stock was not shed quickly. I yeah, I oh.

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Speaker 1: I came home to some to some viagraas I didn't

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Speaker 1: even know I had them. Your mom grabbed him. I

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Speaker 1: guests from the downstairs package area, but I had like

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Speaker 1: thirty viagrass, so I popped when it was right when

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Speaker 1: I got home. My mom didn't just grab random viagrass.

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Speaker 1: I mean, they were yours. It just sounds like my

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Speaker 1: mom just like was like, oh, viagra down in there,

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Speaker 1: and what kind of lobby we we just have viagra.

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Speaker 1: It's from like the coolest. So my mom was picking

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Speaker 1: up our packages. Yes, yeah, yeah, there's bulls, but there's

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Speaker 1: viagras and like a cookie tray once a week new

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Speaker 1: the machine downstairs by the way carrying took place of

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Speaker 1: a Starbucks okay, and sounds like a, um, well, who

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Speaker 1: knows how long we'll be there are over there. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it was just probably talked about. No, it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing. I mean, I'm I'm living the best

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Speaker 1: life ever. Last night just really quickly because we got

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Speaker 1: to get to the news. But last night I um,

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Speaker 1: I had. I worked a lot yesterday all day and

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Speaker 1: then Um went down for a walk after after sunset,

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Speaker 1: like I was, I was playing a lot of music.

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Speaker 1: I'm deciding I'm going to write a song. I've hired

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Speaker 1: Anya and her uh lover partner Matt pond Um to produce,

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Speaker 1: but An is going to write it with me and

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Speaker 1: Matt's going to produce. But I'm going to write it.

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Speaker 1: I just need a little bit of guidance. I don't

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Speaker 1: want any lyrics written by someone who isn't me, because

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Speaker 1: I wanted to like, I don't know, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how how to do a song writing. So I wrote

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Speaker 1: on you yesterday because I was like, I have a

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Speaker 1: song in my heart. I don't know how to do this.

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Speaker 1: And she was like, okay, well normally I was like,

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Speaker 1: what can I pay you out of the gate just

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Speaker 1: to get the stun. She's like, I'll just split publishing

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Speaker 1: and uh and any like creative rights. And I was

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Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, but like I want

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Speaker 1: to pay you up front. She's like, Babe, that's not

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Speaker 1: how songwriting works. And I was like, well, I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to write a song unless I invest in it,

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Speaker 1: Like if I just go, this is I'm and I

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Speaker 1: don't want to make I have no idea of making

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Speaker 1: money from this song, but I just so, I just

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to pay you so that I

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Speaker 1: you know, I want to put my money where my

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Speaker 1: fucking heart is. So anyway, I'm writing a song. And

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Speaker 1: so I worked on that a little bit yesterday by

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Speaker 1: playing other songs and putting new lyrics into them about

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Speaker 1: the things that I want to sing about. And then

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Speaker 1: I went down at sunset to go walk and um,

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Speaker 1: just along the beach or whatever, smoke some weed out

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Speaker 1: of an apple on the beach and um. And then

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Speaker 1: there was like a movie night You're on the lawn

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Speaker 1: at this hotel staying at and so I it's Earth

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Speaker 1: Day though, And it was a It wasn't a movie.

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00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:12,159
Speaker 1: It was a our episode of a documentary on Netflix,

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Speaker 1: a documentary series on Netflix about the ocean. Oh no,

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00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 1: it's about It's called like animals at Night or like

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00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 1: something at night. You know what, will you look it up?

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00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:26,400
Speaker 1: Something animal, animal, something at night on Netflix animal documentary

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Speaker 1: And this one was about like ocean predators at night.

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Speaker 1: I learned a lot. I also learned that I cannot

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Speaker 1: handle animals being hurt or threatened even if they This

355
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Speaker 1: wasn't about climate change, which I can't usually watch nature

356
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Speaker 1: ducks because climate change is just so imminent and like

357
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Speaker 1: we're so in denial of it that it just is

358
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 1: telling me what's going to happen eventually. It just makes

359
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: me so depressed. This was just like, oh animal, this

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00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: is how animals are if the world wasn't ending, and

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Speaker 1: how they like feed and prey. It was so go

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Speaker 1: oh yeah at night on Earth it's called and it's uh.

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00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 1: It was the the voice over is like this the

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Speaker 1: entire time, and that can be annoying. The climate change,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. I was like, can someone climate change

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Speaker 1: your tone? Lady? She was just but then you got

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00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 1: used to it and you're like sunken into it, and

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Speaker 1: then you're like, oh my god, my there was It's

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Speaker 1: just so cool how much work goes into filming these

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Speaker 1: little tiny shrimp and how the shrimp survives the night

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Speaker 1: in one of these tide pools. It honestly gripped me

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00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,239
Speaker 1: and I had such a good time watching it. I

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Speaker 1: did sit next to two so I went to go.

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Speaker 1: There's like all these uh, you know, beach chairs set

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Speaker 1: up on this lawn at night with this big screen,

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00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 1: and they're like, it's a movie night. And I walked

377
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,199
Speaker 1: in and there were like two single guys, one on

378
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,879
Speaker 1: each side of the aisle or whatever, and I sat

379
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 1: next to the one that way I thought was less attractive,

380
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 1: So is to make the more attractive one, I think,

381
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 1: like she isn't maybe liked he Yeah, just like many

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00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 1: of the animals at night in the tide pool, even

383
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 1: though billions of years of evolution have made their eyes

384
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 1: have dred lenses. Okay, so yeah, And by the way,

385
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 1: this is all about animals eating and mating at night.

386
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 1: And it was literally dark out and I was trying

387
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 1: to decide which of these guys I would want to

388
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,679
Speaker 1: potentially mate with, and it was at night and I

389
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 1: couldn't see anything, and it was like this. It was

390
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 1: so ironic, it was like blowing my mind. Anyway, I

391
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 1: didn't talk to either of them. The movie ended, and

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00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 1: I got up and left and went inside, and uh,

393
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 1: I a thing, There was no there was no I

394
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 1: kind of looked to the side. And I was also

395
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 1: doing Bunyan stretches during it, so I'm sure that they

396
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 1: weren't into that, but I was like my bunyan is hurt.

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00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 1: This feels really good and anyone who likes me is

398
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 1: going to like that. This cute girl is doing some

399
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: weird bunge stretches like they're watching a movie like that.

400
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: They're probably uh, pretty sensitive guys that probably like care

401
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 1: about nature and bunyan's and shrimp. So yeah, they could

402
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,360
Speaker 1: be a good hand in hand or hand and foot. Okay,

403
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 1: let's get to the news. Oh, boys, here's a place

404
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: where you'd never heard. Second you hear here. First guys,

405
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: thank you so much, don't we're not adding anything to

406
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: this intro. Al right, Well, I hope you're having fun

407
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 1: out there and you're having all the swells. Uh and

408
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,119
Speaker 1: by all of them, I mean all of them, you know.

409
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: So Okay, first story, This is a great one. Nick,

410
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 1: You're gonna love this one. Okay, woman mistakenly used a

411
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 1: nail glue instead of I dropped in the middle of

412
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: the night. I believe you did something along these lines

413
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: one time. Um, I did not do it, and accidentally

414
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 1: I literally spilled nail polish remover into my contact len

415
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 1: case did not care and then put the context in

416
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: later because I was such a wasted piece of ship,

417
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 1: and I wasn't even drunk. I was just like depressed

418
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: and like not living my bust life. So this is

419
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: this sounds like it was by mistake, though, in which

420
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,640
Speaker 1: of course this has happened. You saw the first time

421
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 1: you've told me the story. I assumed it was a

422
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 1: fatal error. No, no, I mean, like I didn't see

423
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 1: it go in, but I spilled it, and it was

424
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 1: very possibly in an open contact lens case that was

425
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 1: within spilled this like anyone else would have caught it.

426
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: I mean, this is insane that I did it, So

427
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 1: that this sounds like a very easy air to make.

428
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: So it was a complete She glued her eyes. Oh,

429
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 1: she glued her eyes shot at one am. She went

430
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 1: to reach for a contact lens. First of all, why

431
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: do you have glue anywhere near your eye? Dropped? Why

432
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 1: is that in the same drawer? But I get it,

433
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 1: she was preparing broken finger nails. Yeah, okay, I hear you.

434
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 1: I read the rest of the sentence. Now, Um, I

435
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: tried to wipe it away and it sealed my eyes shut.

436
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 1: But her contact her eyes, Yeah, that'll that'll that's probably

437
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: uh smart that I have those in there too. So

438
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 1: if you ever get in a glue fight, put contacts

439
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 1: in first. Oh yeah, but she tried quite it away

440
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: and her eyes sealed shut. I mean like I would

441
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: just be freaked out because all of I just would

442
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 1: know that all of my um eyelashes would rip out

443
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: trying to pry my eye open. You'd be fine. No,

444
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 1: I've only had come in my eye one. I mean

445
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit before, but like one time. Definitely

446
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,920
Speaker 1: direct deposit. And I've told this, I tell this on stage.

447
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: But um, one of the most painful things that you

448
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: can get in your eye. And I just did not

449
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: think it would be as bad. I thought it would

450
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: be a little stingy, like soap er shampoo. But it

451
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: immediately started infecting my eye, and um, I felt pink

452
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: eye coming on because I've had pink eye before. It

453
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 1: was like, this isn't good and um, and I was right,

454
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: and I went and got drops. But let me just

455
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: tell you vizine, which I always carry with me because

456
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 1: I tend to smoke pot Um, it looks a lot

457
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: like some super glue. Why don't we get superglue having

458
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 1: like very neon packaging or something, you know what I mean?

459
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 1: They should have superglue is not to be fucked with.

460
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: Like my dad is obsessed with glueing cuts together, Like

461
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 1: if you slice your finger open, like I have a

462
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 1: slice right there, Like if that was open right there,

463
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,640
Speaker 1: it's closed up. But you know, you say, you get

464
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 1: a paper cut that's deep enough that you can like

465
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: see the crevice. It looks like, make sure looks a

466
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 1: little perfect vagina on your um hand, put some clean

467
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: it out, hydrogen, peroxide, alcohol, whatever, squeeze some superglue in it,

468
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: and then squeeze the wound shut and it will just heal.

469
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 1: And it's like brilliant, and sometimes you don't even need

470
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: to get stitches. But also my dad and mom avoid

471
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 1: going to the doctor for everything, and that's why that's

472
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: why I nearly died from mersa at one point and

473
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 1: uh anorexia, because they were like, just fix it with

474
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 1: super glow. Um. Yeah, just an electrical tape on your

475
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 1: on your on your stomach and it will solve the intorexi.

476
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:19,120
Speaker 1: I heard just put some tape on there here this episode.

477
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: But that's true. It's like what's that movie with the

478
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 1: Greek movie where they father on everything. I mean, everyone has,

479
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 1: there's so many people with parents like this. You might

480
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 1: be not in along, like yes, but like my parents

481
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: just don't. Their first instinct is never to go to

482
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: the hospital. It is to wait it out. Um, he's

483
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: probably just the dogs, probably just ate a bad bone.

484
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: Oh no, he's dying. Okay, Well let's just still wait

485
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 1: and see if the dying stops on its own before

486
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: we go where you bring something where the dog is

487
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 1: dying because it might cost nine dollars. I grew up

488
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 1: a horrible hypochondriac and my dad's a cancer doctor, so

489
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: so you're the opposite. You go right to the hospital

490
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 1: for no. No, I go right to my dad upstairs

491
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: and I go, Dad, I think I have cancer on

492
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 1: my nuts because my nuts feel a little bigger. And

493
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: he's like, am I about to have to grab your nuts?

494
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: And I'll grab my nuts and'll be like this isn't cancer,

495
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: Like what are you doing? And if it's not cancer,

496
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to hear about it. You know. I'm like, oh,

497
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: my hands are numb when I sleep. He's like, it's

498
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 1: a cancer. It's not, so don't talk to me, you know. Yeah,

499
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: apparently there's other things that things could be besides cancer.

500
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 1: Even though cancer is a pretty big umbrella. One time

501
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 1: you grab my shoulder and I have a weird uh

502
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: shoulder bone, It like sticks out, it protrudes. I don't

503
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: know if I ever had you feel it before. Then

504
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: I'm all passed. We were we were at a hockey game.

505
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: Why I rub your bunyan's for a little while, but no,

506
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: I'll totally I have a shoulder bunyan and uh have

507
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: a shunyon and and my my dad and my dad

508
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 1: felt it and gave this look like he like diagnos

509
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 1: me with like a tumor on my shoulder at a

510
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: hockey game. And the whole hockey game was ruined because

511
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 1: I thought I had shoulders. Oh my god, you really? Yeah,

512
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 1: it all makes sense. Our parents do the best they can.

513
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,360
Speaker 1: This is by no means an attack on any parents.

514
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: They loved us as much as they could. They do

515
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 1: aren't their best, and it's not Sometimes it isn't that great.

516
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm terrified to become a parent. Alright,

517
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 1: not terrified. Actually I'd be pretty good. But I always

518
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: go back to Amy Schumer's joke of when people are

519
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: like Nikki, you'd be such a good mom um. Yeah,

520
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: I know, Uh, Amy Schumer's joke was people always tell

521
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: me I'd be a great mom, but I always tell them, yeah,

522
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: i'd also be a great prostitute. But that doesn't mean

523
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: I should do it, because and that's true, there's so

524
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: many things you'd be great at that everyone isn't like

525
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 1: you have to do it. It's like, yeah, I would

526
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: be I would be an amazing porn star. I do

527
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 1: know that. And someday, as as I get more milfy

528
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: and you know, Hollywood rolls dry up, uh, perhaps I'll

529
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: I'll maybe I'll do some sort of drug that removes

530
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: a part of my brain that is keeping me from

531
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: doing porn, which I believe i'd be great at, and

532
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: then I just start doing it because all it takes

533
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 1: is worrying about what people think of you and taking

534
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 1: quite a financial hit because no one wants to work

535
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: with you anymore, because you know, Hollywood sees themselves as

536
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: better than porn, and we don't really like mix the two,

537
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 1: which I want to start mixing. Well, I think you

538
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: could start slowly by doing like kind of like an

539
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: artsy porn where it's like in black and white, like

540
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 1: a French feel to it, so it's full penetration and

541
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 1: you see everything. But I found a way to do

542
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 1: porn actually a lot two nights ago. There's a lot

543
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: of latex things where they vacuum seal you in latex,

544
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: which I kind of like because it's like being bonded.

545
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: It's like bondage NOA, but without ropes because you know,

546
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: I'm not into ropes now. So they like latext you

547
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: and so you're completely under this like latex sheet and

548
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: then they vacuum it out and then so you're just

549
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: like and you breathe through a thing so it has

550
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: like holes near the mouth, but you can't see the person.

551
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,719
Speaker 1: All you can see is a black light TEXTI louette.

552
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: And then they like put a wand on your vagina

553
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: and so it holds it down, so you like are

554
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 1: like forced to come a lot and then you can't

555
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: get out. And then there's like holes elsewhere where they

556
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: can do stuff to you, but there's no like there,

557
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 1: and then you can't see the person. You can't even

558
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: hear them scream. So I could do that, yeah, I

559
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: mean it's like when you put like food in a microwave,

560
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: you know that's like covered in plastic and it gets

561
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: turned into something really hot and moist. You know, yes,

562
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: take my veggie burgers out of the plastic even let's

563
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: keep them in all right, next next story, Your veggie

564
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: burgers is nothing like you're born nothing. Let's see. A

565
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: study finds that people who regular sleep for six hours

566
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: or less each night in the in middle age are

567
00:30:55,320 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: more likely developed dementia than those who routinely managed seven hours.

568
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: Sleep is known to clear toxic waste from the brain,

569
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: and they hypothesize that people when they sleep lest this

570
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 1: process becomes impaired. It also found that severely disrupted sleep

571
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: could nearly double women's risk of dying from heart disease.

572
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: It doesn't surprise me. That's why I start with how

573
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 1: do you sleep? Because I want to remind everyone you

574
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: and you're I don't sleep kind of lifestyle you lead

575
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: where I like, I am going on five hours. You're

576
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: no one's impressed, No one thinks it's cool. Get more,

577
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: Try to get more. Do everything you can to get more.

578
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: I can't, Yes, you can. Everyone can do more. To

579
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: get sleep. Everyone can do more. Don't take your phone

580
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: to bed, get a sleep mask, white noise machine, um,

581
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: get the dogs out of the bed. Robin, my friend,

582
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: Robin and her husband have a queen size bed and

583
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: they sleep with three gigantic dogs in the bed. They're

584
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: both short people, and the dogs sleep at the end.

585
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: But her husband's not getting good sleep because the dogs.

586
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: She sleep it's fine, and I go, you got you

587
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: gotta get the dogs out of the bed. I don't

588
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: think it's okay. I don't want to tell people to

589
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 1: run their lives, but yes, I do. Get the dogs

590
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 1: out of the bed so everyone can get better sleep,

591
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: myself included. Like, dementia is the scariest thing I can imagine,

592
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: is like when your mind betrays you, because that, to me,

593
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: is what I'm banking on growing old with. Like I'll

594
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: lose my looks, I'll lose my ability to move as

595
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: like with the same agility. Um, but I won't lose

596
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 1: my mind. I mean it will start to go because

597
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: like even in the Gary Shandling documentary, do you remember

598
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 1: that he's like one of the most brilliant comedic minds ever,

599
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: but he started to have like dementia type symptoms and

600
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: you saw it live on air when he was on

601
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: conan Um Conan's Tonight Show. It's in that documentary, and

602
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: that was like so terrified to me like Joan Rivers

603
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: was as sharp as ever Don Riggles, you start to

604
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: seek go a little bit, but he was already so

605
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: sharp that even him at less sharp. But Gary Shandling

606
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: you saw like a real it And was it sleepless?

607
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 1: I forget what what was befalling him? But man, I'm

608
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 1: scared of tamentia. So I wanted this news story just

609
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: as a wake up call to myself and not a

610
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: wake up call, a sleep sleep more call. Two, You've

611
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: got to prioritize sleep or you're not going to be

612
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: around for the kids that you're staying up for. You're

613
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: not gonna be around for the people. Like the greatest

614
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,959
Speaker 1: gift you can give the people in your life. Listen up,

615
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 1: I'm saying something important. If you tone me out, the

616
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 1: greatest gift you can give the people you love in

617
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: their your life is a gift card to Starbucks. After that,

618
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: because Starbucks is in every is global and everyone loves

619
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 1: a little treat, even if you're not addicted to it

620
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: like I am. But the greatest gift you can give

621
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: other people. And my ex boyfriend was the first person

622
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: to say this, and I always remembered it, and I've

623
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: heard it before or since. Shave your pussy. Shave your pussy,

624
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: but don't get ingrown hairs because you might get infected

625
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 1: and you might get merca. And then your dad will

626
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: tell you it's just a bug by and you need

627
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: to take epps and salt baths. Then you'll do that

628
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks. Then the stinging will start

629
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 1: running down your leg, to your foot and up to

630
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: your heart and you are getting body tremors. And then

631
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 1: you eventually go to dermatologists against your parents better judgment,

632
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 1: and you find out you have MERSA. But then after that, yeah, okay,

633
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 1: after that, yeah, is taking care of yourself because if

634
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 1: you love someone and you want to give them a

635
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 1: good they probably love you, right, unless you're unhinged and

636
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: deranged and demented because you haven't got enough sleep. But

637
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: if you love someone, they love you. And the best

638
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: gift you can give someone that loves you is to

639
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: take care of the people that they love, and that

640
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:40,959
Speaker 1: is you get sleep for the people you love. And

641
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: I know in the short term, it's it's like, but

642
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: my son needs more time with me, and I didn't

643
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 1: get he will get more time with you. On the

644
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: back end, if you prioritize sleep instead of watching a

645
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: movie with him or whatever it is. So I know

646
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: this as easier said than done, but I needed to

647
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,399
Speaker 1: hear it as well. You know what's kind of cool though,

648
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 1: for my brain and how I say words, is he

649
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: even if I get dementia, I'm not falling off that

650
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: much farther than I'm already at. We're still around the

651
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: same level of comprehension. For those that speak to you.

652
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:15,799
Speaker 1: You might actually start saying things right accidentally. God, I

653
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 1: hope I can say regular No. I will be so

654
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: sad if you get dementia, Like I plan on being

655
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 1: friends with you until we're like dead for three more years.

656
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: And by we, I mean you, um you those shoulder tumors.

657
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: They're looking pretty much. I'm kidding, Andrew, I'm kidding. You've

658
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: got like, seriously, you've got like forty more months. Honestly,

659
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,240
Speaker 1: I don't even care. I'm having a hell of a time.

660
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: It's great out here as well. The great thing about

661
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,800
Speaker 1: death is that it will happen and you won't know it.

662
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 1: It'll just you know, like it'll just happen. And then

663
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: if you get diagnosed with something, you'll probably be in

664
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 1: a level of acceptance that almost everyone who gets death

665
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 1: sentence faces is acceptance, which is a beautiful part of life.

666
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: That this thing that you can't even imagine being able

667
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: to accept. You never see someone dying just going no, no,

668
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 1: except Sam Kinison. Do you ever hear the story? Yeah?

669
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: Last words? Yeah. So let me just really quick before

670
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 1: we get to sports moment. Sam Kinison uh died in

671
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: a terrible car crash and his friends were driving behind

672
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: him when it happened. So they pull up on the

673
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 1: car crash and his best friend is holding Sam Kinison

674
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: as he is dying in his arms, and Sam Kinison

675
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 1: is like, it's I'm paraphrasing, but he's like, I don't

676
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 1: want to die. I don't want to die. I don't

677
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 1: want to go, and he goes, wise at my time

678
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: or something like that, and then he's looking through his friend.

679
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 1: He's not even looking at his friend, and he goes,

680
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to go. I don't want to go,

681
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: and I'm again, I'm paraphrasing, and then he goes, why

682
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: why do I have to go? And then he like

683
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,400
Speaker 1: listens his friend said he years like Sam like talking

684
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: like hearing someone you know, like when someone's eyes are

685
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: kind of listening like, and he goes, oh, okay, and

686
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 1: then he dies like he heard some something made him

687
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 1: accept it, even in that moment that he was fighting it,

688
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 1: like he knew he needed to go. Um. It was

689
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:24,839
Speaker 1: the last time he ran the light. Honestly, that's one

690
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 1: of the greatest jokes I've ever heard. A pretty good joke.

691
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not gonna lie at somewhere Sam Kennison is.

692
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: I don't know how he laughed, but he may be

693
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: screaming somewhere. That is fucking funny. And by the way,

694
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: I don't think it was a traffic like light thing,

695
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 1: but no, it wasn't. Regardless it was it was a

696
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: heaven light. Oh. I was thinking like he died in

697
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 1: traffic collision, which is probably running a red man. It

698
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 1: was he got the light and he followed it. Let's

699
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: say that. And by the way, if you're you're you're

700
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 1: not hip to the jargon of stand up comedians. When

701
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 1: you get the light, it means you have five more

702
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,839
Speaker 1: minutes left on stage, or two more minutes or whatever

703
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: you ask for before you go on stage. Ago, when

704
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: do you want the light and you go two minutes

705
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: and that means when I have two minutes left, just

706
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: wanted you guys be hip to the ling. Well, think

707
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: about it. Think about he ran the light, he saw

708
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 1: the light. Then he goes, I don't want to get off.

709
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to die. And yeah, he's like it

710
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: was like, no, you gotta get off. He's like, all right,

711
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:37,280
Speaker 1: I'll get Chapel's here. You gotta get off. Robin Williams

712
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 1: is waiting in the wings, all right. Dementia, Louis body dementia,

713
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 1: Robin Williams. Everyone who thinks that Williams killed himself, he did,

714
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 1: but he had Louis de body dementia, which is a

715
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: disease that will make you kill yourself. And by the way,

716
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 1: anyone who does kill themselves, it's not their fault. No

717
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: one chooses to their brain does it to them. So

718
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: we always excuse people like, oh yeah, boy, he wasn't suicidal.

719
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 1: It's like, well, anyone who suicidal has something in their

720
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: brain that might not have a name for it. But

721
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: it's never really anyone's fault or choice. There's no free

722
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: will Sam Harris look into it. Let's get to the

723
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:20,440
Speaker 1: sports moment. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment. Every time I

724
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: hear it, I I understand that the more you hate

725
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: when I watch Sports Center. Okay, so NFL players can

726
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:32,399
Speaker 1: smoke marijuana for the first time during the off season. Yes,

727
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: that too as well. It's very daring. Uh and the

728
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: window open on four twenty. Nonetheless, so the NFL has

729
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:43,359
Speaker 1: a sense of humor apparently, Oh my god, wait, this

730
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 1: is huge news. No. Uh, yeah, I mean they're gonna

731
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 1: so they're not going to test from April twenty to

732
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: hogs nine. Um for thhc oh Man. Now's the time

733
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 1: for me to make some friends with some football players. Yeah,

734
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: I'm sure that they can afford apples for you. I

735
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: think smoke about of Apple laptops. They take out the

736
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 1: core processor. Yeah, and they don't give a funk about money.

737
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: They'll smoke like an old man. Habit is great. Okay,

738
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: let's talk about pot and and the NFL. Well, you

739
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 1: had a post yesterday about people. I never was addictive.

740
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: I didn't even read the comments. After two minutes, I

741
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,319
Speaker 1: just go, I'm going to edit my post to make

742
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 1: it completely clear what I mean by this. I said happy,

743
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: I said there's a picture that someone took of me,

744
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 1: or I took a picture in college of me hitting

745
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 1: a bong, which was maybe the last time I hit

746
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 1: a bong, and that's not true. But it's like, you know,

747
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: I don't smoke out a bongs, but it's like a

748
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,399
Speaker 1: kind of where I look. And I posted on our

749
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:52,720
Speaker 1: story yesterday, but then I posted as a main post

750
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: or whatever. It doesn't matter. When I posted, someone send

751
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 1: me a picture of Eminem. It looked the same. We

752
00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: both are hitting the bong in the same way. I

753
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: love Eminem. I put to side by side boom, and

754
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: then I wrote, I'm not glorifying pot. I do not

755
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: advocate for pot use. I don't use bonds anymore. I

756
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: use apples. I want everyone to be aware that although

757
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 1: yesterday the kissed holiday of the year, uh, really glorified

758
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 1: pot and made it seem like every smoking pots fine.

759
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 1: There's no risk that it is a risky drug. It

760
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:28,279
Speaker 1: is a addictive substance for some people. People think you

761
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 1: say the word addictive, and people go, that means everyone.

762
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 1: That's not what I mean. Not everyone's addicted to food,

763
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: not everyone's addicted to cigarettes, not everyone's addicted to alcohol.

764
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 1: It can be an addictive substance. I have dealt with, uh,

765
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 1: marijuana addiction to medicinally support me with my a d D.

766
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 1: But it's still something I was dependent on at times

767
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: in my life. And there's nothing wrong with saying that.

768
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 1: And if you are able to consume pot and not

769
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: be addicted to it, of course you can. I believe

770
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 1: that's true. People got so oh mad. Yeah for a

771
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 1: bunch of potheads. They sure we're angry. You know, I

772
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: just love picturing He's like hitting, like what what what?

773
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm addicted? Like what? They so, yeah, I just read

774
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,240
Speaker 1: a couple but uh, but yeah, it was interesting to see,

775
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 1: like like it's so funny how things need to be

776
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:27,399
Speaker 1: black or white, Like it's not at there's no way.

777
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 1: And then I did see that a lot of people

778
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: wrote that the studies says that one in ten people

779
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: become addicted to pot. That's interesting numbers. That is a

780
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: very high number. And the thing is anything, I think

781
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 1: some comments said, anything that takes you out of your

782
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: emotional state and is an escape can be addictive. I

783
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 1: can be addicted to literally anything. And I and that's

784
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 1: not to say that like some people maybe could never

785
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: get addicted to pot. I believe anyone could get addicted

786
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 1: to anything if you try hard enough. But I I

787
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: have been addicted to and guitar. I use it as

788
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 1: an escape from my feelings, which healthy addiction. But guess

789
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 1: what even that my fingers have bled and I could

790
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,879
Speaker 1: hurt myself with it or um, and I know it's

791
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: like my fingers are bleeding like the George Harris said,

792
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 1: it's like that's good. No it's not. Don't and I'm

793
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: supposed to make yourself bleed. I mean that's self harm.

794
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 1: So um, I've I've been addicted to gum. I don't

795
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: talk about this a lot, but I might as well

796
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: just put it out there. I was. I've been off

797
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: gum since August six two. I will not accept another

798
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: piece of gum for the rest of my life. That

799
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 1: is the plan. But every day is a new day.

800
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,439
Speaker 1: I don't think about gum anymore. But I as someone

801
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 1: with an eating disorder and someone who is addicted to

802
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: like consuming, I always had a piece of gum in

803
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: my mouth and I was going through much like cigarettes.

804
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,839
Speaker 1: I was going through like I was up to like

805
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 1: two or three packs a day. And I know that

806
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 1: sounds crazy, but this is eighteen pieces of Trident gum.

807
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 1: Per day up to three backs, and it would just

808
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 1: make you sick. I mean, like the amount of sugar

809
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: free aspertain and it's disgusting. It's it's eating trash, by

810
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 1: the way, it's chewing on trash. Gum isn't like it

811
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: is digestible. Seven years whatever, old wife scale um. But

812
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: I was addicted to gum and that didn't start out.

813
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: That wasn't the way it was for me. I was

814
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: a kid. I ate gum when I someone offered it,

815
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: and then it slowly turned into addiction, and people go,

816
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: what's wrong with that? Okay, not only does it make

817
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: me bloated? I had a ranula. Google ranula really quick, everyone,

818
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: if you want. I developed a sore in my mouth

819
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: from gum that clogged one of my uh saliva glands

820
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: and it got clogged. And it's called a ranula because

821
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 1: in in Latin, ranula stance for bull frog, and a

822
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: giant bubble like a bull frog erupted underneath my tongue

823
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: and I would have to pop it every day, but

824
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,879
Speaker 1: then to drain it and all this like slive would

825
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 1: come out. But I was doing it every day and

826
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: keeping up my gum habit. That the the place where

827
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 1: I would pinprick it to pop it. This is in college,

828
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 1: by the way, developed a callous and got uh and

829
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: I couldn't pop it anymore because it wouldn't break through.

830
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 1: So I had to go have surgery on my mouth

831
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: and I had to lie to the orthodonist and say

832
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:15,919
Speaker 1: that I don't know where it came from. I don't

833
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 1: know how it got there. And it was because I

834
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: was addicted to gum and I kept chewing it for

835
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 1: years after that and it led to and I was

836
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 1: addicted to Red Monster energy drink that made my tongue

837
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 1: also have sores. And it's like these things. You can

838
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,919
Speaker 1: get addicted to anything and it is it can start

839
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: hurting you no matter what sex, everything, So weeds addictive. However,

840
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,360
Speaker 1: I want to understand the football thing. Um, that's crazy

841
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: to me that athletes cannot smoke any pot ever and

842
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,399
Speaker 1: haven't been able to in the past. Well, I mean

843
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:51,240
Speaker 1: for athletes, a lot of them used as pain management. Um.

844
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, in the past, people players would get suspended.

845
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,240
Speaker 1: Now they're getting fined instead of suspended, which is better,

846
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 1: I guess. I mean the NFL makes more money actually,

847
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: but um, yeah, I guess it's just like you know,

848
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: for just a few years ago, there's this player named

849
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: Josh Gordon who played for Cleveland Browns and he just

850
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 1: couldn't get his pot addiction in line. And everyone's like

851
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 1: what if it doesn't give a funk about the team,

852
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 1: doesn't care about the organization. He's so selfish, and it's like, no,

853
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: he's addicted. He's probably had his pain management. He's probably

854
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 1: using instead of pain killers that make him sluggish because

855
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 1: he can't take oxycon anymore or whatever. And it's like,

856
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's just how you view pot use

857
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 1: like as like this like selfish thing. It's like, no,

858
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure it was needed for his mental

859
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 1: state or whatever it was, and it wasn't whatever. So

860
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: I think just how it's viewed by people, because it

861
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,919
Speaker 1: can help a lot of people, Like yeah, oh my god,

862
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: it helps me immensely, Like it helps me really get

863
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 1: out of a bad mood and like makes me more alert,

864
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: it makes me more curious and interested in people. But

865
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 1: it has downsides if I do too much of um,

866
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: malaise and possibly depression, anxiety, smelling bad, people thinking you're

867
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 1: lazy because of a connotation of it, People thinking you're

868
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 1: unprofessional because you're doing it before something work related, even

869
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 1: though you kind of need it. Because pot makes me

870
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: want to like clean and work and focus, whereas a

871
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: lot of people make them lazy. Or of course it's

872
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: good for paid management. I hope it is legalized. I hope. Yeah.

873
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: But drinking, I think is much more detrimental than pot um.

874
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: And also pot I want to say, is packed with carcinogens.

875
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: If you're inhaling smoke, that's also cancer causing. Don't pretend

876
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,439
Speaker 1: like you're not. I certainly don't. Also, the worst side

877
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,480
Speaker 1: effect is hemp necklace and talking about grateful dead and

878
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 1: hidden tapes. Okay, so the next segment, Nick, I'm excited

879
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: for this one, but I can't say it swells well.

880
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: Thank you for that sports moment that was very related

881
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 1: to things incident. Oh I care about that happy birthday. No, uh,

882
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 1: let's get to quote. I looked up best quotes and

883
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: the first one that came up, and like the pictures,

884
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 1: is from Albert Einstein, and I really like like Google images,

885
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 1: you know, I just picked quotes and it's all these

886
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: like pretty little things. So it says this from Albert Einstend,

887
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: who knows if it's true. Apology anyway, Morgan Wallen, It's

888
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 1: apology was me my music got taken like a ransom letter.

889
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 1: I couldn't it was just too much. So this is

890
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: by Albert Einstein apparently, But who knows with quotes really,

891
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 1: you know, but it's a good quote. He said, I

892
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:57,960
Speaker 1: have no special talent. I am only passionately curious for

893
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: a genius, for one of someone I know. Right. Um,

894
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 1: that's why I said the word curious before, because I

895
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 1: had just pulled that quote up. By the way, it

896
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,840
Speaker 1: was like in my head. But I do get curious,

897
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 1: you know that. Um, what do you think about that

898
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 1: I have no special talent. I'm only passionately curious. Look,

899
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 1: I love a humble person when they're very good at something,

900
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 1: and I get that. But he uh, you could be

901
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 1: as curious as you want, Like I could look at

902
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 1: as many theories as I want. But I'm not gonna

903
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 1: know what equals M C square it is. I'm just

904
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 1: not Einstein, Like there's certain things like you'd be as

905
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 1: curious as you want, but if your brain isn't available

906
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: or but I get what he's saying as well, Like

907
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 1: you know a lot of people because they don't think

908
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 1: they're talented, don't ever get curious about things. So you

909
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: just gotta put a lot of things out there to

910
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 1: figure out what maybe you're good at. I guess is

911
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 1: I agree? Um, yeah, I see what you're saying. Like

912
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:59,399
Speaker 1: we all have limitations in different fields. However, you would

913
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: not be cu us about equals mc square or the

914
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: theory of revel relativity or finding out about like why

915
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 1: gravity works or black holes or string theory. Like that

916
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 1: stuff doesn't interest you. Probably interested him, and he was.

917
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 1: He didn't do it against his will. He wasn't like,

918
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 1: oh I got to complete this math course and it

919
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 1: was like It's like he was propelled in that direction

920
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:22,800
Speaker 1: because of curiosity. And I feel like that is I

921
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 1: do believe if you're a lucky person, which I get,

922
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 1: I am so fucking lucky. I feel like I want

923
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 1: to hear about people winning the lottery. I feel like

924
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,399
Speaker 1: I definitely won the lottery in terms of just even

925
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 1: making it to my mom's egg as a dad's sperm.

926
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,759
Speaker 1: Is like the luck of that I learned less than

927
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:42,240
Speaker 1: the Nature doc that only one in a thousand baby

928
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: turtles lived to adulthood one in a thousand, so it's

929
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: like all these baby turtles they're filming thousands of them,

930
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 1: and sixty percent get eaten by sharks. Another thirty percent

931
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: don't even make it to the ocean because they're picked

932
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,720
Speaker 1: over by stuff. And then one out of the thousand

933
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 1: make it. But the odds of you being a human

934
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,799
Speaker 1: on earth at a time when you get to wear

935
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: clothing and be an air conditioning and be loved by

936
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: parents and like have food whenever you want, Like, we

937
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 1: are so lucky to not only be born, but be

938
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: born in this time in America where I'm a woman

939
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 1: that can drive and have rights, and like, it's crazy

940
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 1: the statistics that led me to have the life I've led.

941
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 1: Even if you were born in America into poverty, you

942
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: still are And as much as that would be so awful,

943
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 1: you still are luckier than people that were born during

944
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: the Black Plague in medieval times. Like as a woman

945
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 1: back then, you know, like there's there's a lot of

946
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 1: luck going into being born. My point is, I'm lucky

947
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,840
Speaker 1: enough to do something for a living that I was.

948
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: I let my curiosity drive me to work. So many

949
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: people work in jobs where they're like I don't care

950
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:53,479
Speaker 1: anything about this, and there's loveliness about that too, because

951
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 1: you can go home and leave it there a lot

952
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,359
Speaker 1: of times, like if if you work at quiz Nos,

953
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 1: you might not be passionate about hosted subs, but you

954
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 1: can leave it and just go back the next day. Um.

955
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 1: I wish for everyone to find out whatever you're curious

956
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 1: in and pursue it, even if you suck. But that's

957
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: the hard thing. Like I happened to be naturally good

958
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: at and curious about the same thing comedy. However, I was.

959
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:24,439
Speaker 1: I was curious about acting and being on TV long

960
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 1: before I discovered comedy. And I was bad, bad, bad,

961
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 1: bad bad at acting, bad at modeling, bad at doing

962
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: anything that I thought was going to get me in

963
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 1: front of the camera. So I had to keep trying

964
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: things for years until I found the thing I was

965
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:43,239
Speaker 1: good at. Much like guitar, I am not naturally inclined

966
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 1: to guitar or dancing or rhythm of any kind, but

967
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: I am. My curiosity got the best of me at

968
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:51,400
Speaker 1: the age of thirty six, and I picked up the guitar.

969
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: And guess what, I'm not so bad This week. I

970
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 1: had a major breakthrough with guitar. Like I'm I can

971
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 1: be good, and that's only because my curiosity drove me

972
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 1: past the discomfort of being bad. And I do believe

973
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 1: that's what talent is. Because I'm gonna be talented at guitar.

974
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,479
Speaker 1: People are gonna listen to me in a year ago

975
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: You're really good, and we might want to actually hear

976
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: you perform live and I might be I'm gonna My

977
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 1: goal is to be a like, to be able to

978
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 1: do Steve Martin with the like Steve Martin with a banjo,

979
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: but not but not comedy songs. I want to do

980
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: a show before my shows in town at like a cafe.

981
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 1: People if they want to hear Taylor Swift covers, they

982
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,879
Speaker 1: can come see me solo. But like, I don't want

983
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 1: anyone to go to that expecting I'll be comedic or

984
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 1: better than a person who can think guitar for a year.

985
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 1: But that's my goal. But Steve Martin isn't comedic with

986
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 1: the bander. He's like one of the best banjo players

987
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 1: in the World's true. I went to go see him

988
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 1: in his band reform. Yeah. Yeah, he's very serious, That's

989
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like the ted Lasso quote when a

990
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:51,759
Speaker 1: guy's talking to it about himself and he goes, you

991
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 1: know what, man, you're talking bad about yourself. That's like

992
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 1: Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don't want to hear it.

993
00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:59,760
Speaker 1: But you could say that's like Nicki Glazer playing guitar.

994
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it, yeah, or like me

995
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 1: saying me like saying the word turbulence. Yeah, Or that's

996
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 1: like Andrews saying a word edgewise Nikki doesn't want to

997
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 1: hear it. During the segment, I talked a lot this

998
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:17,319
Speaker 1: this podcast. I think it's great. I think I wait

999
00:54:17,440 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: to respond, and I think that people probably don't want

1000
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 1: to hear me lisp. No, that's not true at all.

1001
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 1: People love you. And I am aware that I talk

1002
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:28,879
Speaker 1: a lot. Again, I am working on it, but it's

1003
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: a ton of who I am and I'm sorry. And

1004
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 1: also that's that's what a podcast is. I was thinking about,

1005
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: like what I was curious about, like when I was

1006
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,439
Speaker 1: if I've ever been, like really bring into the final

1007
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:43,759
Speaker 1: thought with this, Yeah, what were you curious about? No?

1008
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 1: I you know it's funny because I guess you could

1009
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 1: figure out what you're curious about after the fact. Does

1010
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: that make sense? Like later in life. You're like, oh,

1011
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: I got here because I was curious back then, But

1012
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 1: I didn't even realize that back then. And I know

1013
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:01,839
Speaker 1: we have a similar curiosity in this. Like every day

1014
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 1: I would I would listen to Howard Stern with my brother.

1015
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,360
Speaker 1: We had an hour car ride from Stuart, Florida to

1016
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 1: Vira Beach, Florida. Every single day listen to Howard, and

1017
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: I fucking loved it, Like it made me laugh and

1018
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,360
Speaker 1: it made our time with my brother, especially during during

1019
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,799
Speaker 1: during our parents divorce, and it was like it wasn't

1020
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: easy when we were like that around that age when

1021
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 1: he was like sixteen and I was like thirteen or fourteen,

1022
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: and dude, every morning we would laugh our fucking dick

1023
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 1: off at Howard. And now that I get to just

1024
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,840
Speaker 1: fucking mumble and talk into a mike with someone that

1025
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 1: actually has been on Howard Stern, who I respect so

1026
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 1: much comedically, who I love dearly, and I get to

1027
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 1: fucking do this every day. Is it really is remarkable.

1028
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: And I guess I am Einstein in a way for

1029
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 1: people that can't do math that good but somehow still

1030
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 1: got to be a math professor at Harvard. And I'm

1031
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,400
Speaker 1: so excited for it. That's so nice, Andrew, And I

1032
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,319
Speaker 1: do believe Eve that, like I mean, I wouldn't be

1033
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 1: where I am without you either right now in my life.

1034
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 1: So it's like me meeting you and then recognizing instantly

1035
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 1: that this guy might be walking dogs for living and

1036
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:15,240
Speaker 1: might have a dirty coat and like might be extremely

1037
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 1: nervous when you met me. We gotta tell the story

1038
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 1: of how we met. But when I first met you,

1039
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:21,360
Speaker 1: you were like my dog walker that I knew was

1040
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: a that was a comic. I didn't know anything about

1041
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,200
Speaker 1: you comedically, literally nothing. I didn't know how long you've

1042
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 1: been doing it, um, But you were so open and

1043
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,359
Speaker 1: honest with me the first time we met. And we'll

1044
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 1: tell the story on an upcoming episode. But I just

1045
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 1: knew instantly that this person had something special that I

1046
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 1: wanted to shine a light on because people need to

1047
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:45,960
Speaker 1: see this, and that would probably lead me to being

1048
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 1: more that way, which is like brutally honest and uh

1049
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,760
Speaker 1: sharing something that you shouldn't share with someone right away,

1050
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 1: even though you did. And but like you, it took

1051
00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:02,359
Speaker 1: you many, many years to find a hone, the thing

1052
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 1: that you're good at, to find the thing that was

1053
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 1: gonna make you get the attention you want that you

1054
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 1: always saw it, probably as a kid. Want to be

1055
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 1: on TV, I want to be famous, like these things

1056
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 1: that are just like seeking love and adoration. I'm speaking

1057
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 1: for myself, but it took you until a couple of

1058
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 1: years ago before you were able to create puddles and

1059
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 1: create like the kind of comedy you do, and you

1060
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 1: still get shipped for it, like, oh, you're taking your

1061
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 1: shirt off and you're dancing. You're what, like, is that

1062
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 1: even comedy? And you know stand ups will give you

1063
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 1: shit about that, and it's like, yes, it is, because um,

1064
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 1: you've honed that. That's not you just throwing ship again.

1065
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 1: It is you're throwing ship against the wall and seeing

1066
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 1: what sticks. But you did that a lot before you

1067
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 1: did find out what sticks. And it just so happens

1068
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 1: to be dancing with your shirt off and you know,

1069
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:51,000
Speaker 1: making gross faces with your tongue and also saying hilarious

1070
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 1: things that people don't understand how actually smart and funny

1071
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 1: you are and quick you are. It even took me

1072
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 1: a couple of years to realize it. But um, clearly

1073
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:01,439
Speaker 1: anyone who listened to the pot us Wait, it took

1074
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 1: you a couple of years. No, it took me a

1075
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 1: couple of years to understand just how like to actually

1076
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 1: because you are so unintentionally funny, like so much of

1077
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 1: the time where it seems like it or or it

1078
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,919
Speaker 1: seems unintentional, like it seems like you're making a joke

1079
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 1: that is just so like the thing before where you

1080
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 1: said the light right the that was the last light.

1081
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 1: That was the last light. He ever ran, I go

1082
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 1: to the traffic light thing. You were talking about the

1083
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 1: light from God, but I that was already brilliant, the

1084
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 1: light from God, like getting the light from God. I

1085
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: was on the traffic light part, which was a different

1086
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 1: kind of brilliant. But it would never occur to me

1087
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 1: unless you said that first part. But you say things

1088
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,440
Speaker 1: all the time that people can mistake as like, oh,

1089
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 1: he's just saying stuff, But your brain is actually working you.

1090
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 1: Your brain works very very quickly and in a way

1091
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: that most comedians would like work for so long to

1092
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 1: get your brain to work that way and joke for him. You, however,

1093
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: just to be in the right environment to have that

1094
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: come out, and it might not be a writer's room

1095
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 1: in front of a laptop, you know what I mean? Yeah,

1096
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 1: I feel you and I uh uh, yeah, well you're

1097
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 1: really blowing it now. I mean I thought, no, no, no,

1098
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 1: that was that was a joke that I couldn't think

1099
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 1: of anything that I got you again, that's how good.

1100
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 1: Maybe in five years you'll get that. All right, Well,

1101
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 1: thanks for listening to show today. What a lovely little podcast.

1102
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 1: Happy birthday, Noah. Everyone go wish Noah a happy birthday.

1103
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 1: You can find Noah Injection n O A I N

1104
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 1: J E C T I O N. She also has

1105
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 1: a podcast separate from Mars called The Metal Injection and

1106
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 1: that is a heavy metal podcast that you can hear

1107
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: her on and anything else. Noah, please don't wish me

1108
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:56,720
Speaker 1: a happy birthday, everybody? What's your address? Well, honestly, Noah

1109
00:59:56,800 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 1: is that? Let me just say before we go, Noah,

1110
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 1: um really quick, Noah, just let me it'll I sweart

1111
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 1: to go. I'm tamming myself for one minute. I'm giving

1112
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 1: myself one minute. Here we go. Hold on, let me

1113
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 1: set my timer and then we're going to go. And

1114
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,439
Speaker 1: I'm not going to exceed it. One minute of how

1115
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,439
Speaker 1: I feel about Noah. And just so this is good

1116
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 1: for the listener. Okay, you'll get ten seconds Okay, here

1117
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 1: we go. The minute starts now. I met Noah when

1118
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 1: I started at Serious Radio UM in January of two

1119
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 1: thousand eighteen. I was given a four day a week

1120
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 1: show They're called You Up. I was not given the

1121
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 1: choice of who my producer would be, even though normally

1122
01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: I'm used to being able to meet with a bunch

1123
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 1: of people in deciding. They kind of just gave me

1124
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: this girl. My friend Roland who had written me and

1125
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,600
Speaker 1: said Noah is amazing. But I didn't know Roland that well,

1126
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: and of course he's gonna say anyone's amazing. I met

1127
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 1: Noah day one. I remember where we hugged in the

1128
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 1: lobby of Serious. She was so kind, so nice, so cute,

1129
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 1: and she is just someone that I again lucky, lucky.

1130
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 1: I'm a little lucky turtle. The the fact that I

1131
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 1: got paired with her ran Emilee, and she ended up

1132
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: being someone who's not only my best friend and who

1133
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:04,960
Speaker 1: has like lifted me up in times where I've really

1134
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 1: needed it emotionally, like the other day when I called

1135
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:09,040
Speaker 1: you when I'm crying. You have the best instincts as

1136
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 1: a producer. You were my you were my baba booie.

1137
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,959
Speaker 1: You are my um. Who's the guy that they always

1138
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 1: talked to on Regis and Kelly or Kathleen Regis Gelson.

1139
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,680
Speaker 1: You are my mom um. You're just the gellman. You

1140
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:25,360
Speaker 1: are just like the best producer I could ever imagine having,

1141
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 1: because you think of things that I don't even think of.

1142
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 1: Like I just wrote you that we should have a

1143
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 1: stinger that says like Fido thought, and like you already

1144
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 1: have it. I just haven't listened that far in the

1145
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 1: episode because I like live these episodes, I don't have

1146
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:37,480
Speaker 1: to listen to it. So you are always on top

1147
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:40,440
Speaker 1: of things. You're better than me at the things that

1148
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 1: I need someone better than at, and you support me

1149
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 1: on the things that I'm better at than you, and

1150
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 1: you make me feel great about them. And we have

1151
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 1: the best working relationship it is. We have never had

1152
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 1: a fight. We've had disagreements, and we had a time

1153
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 1: between podcasts where we didn't know if we were ever

1154
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:57,439
Speaker 1: going to work together again, and I had really made

1155
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: peace with that, and then by the grace of God,

1156
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 1: we got you, um brought onto this I Heart podcast experience.

1157
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:07,959
Speaker 1: But uh, you know, thankfully from the people at my Heart,

1158
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 1: which you know everyone, when I was deciding this longer

1159
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 1: than a minute. When I was deciding whether or not

1160
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: to go do my own podcast or go with a

1161
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: podcast network, which was a lot of pressure to do

1162
01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 1: your own, do your own so you own it all. Um.

1163
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 1: I chose I Heart because I wanted their support and

1164
01:02:23,920 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 1: they're huge, and I really like the podcast that they

1165
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: put out, and the people I met with were so nice,

1166
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:32,440
Speaker 1: but they also honored every thing that I wanted for

1167
01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:34,479
Speaker 1: the podcast because they wanted it to be great, and

1168
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 1: they were more sold on Noah than I was after

1169
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,520
Speaker 1: they met her. And that's how amazing you are. And

1170
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 1: if you enjoy the podcast, you owe uh some gratitude today,

1171
01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:47,640
Speaker 1: just even just by listening to this and smiling along

1172
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:51,160
Speaker 1: with it, to my wonderful podcast producer who puts so

1173
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 1: much good out into the world. And I hope you

1174
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 1: all are as lucky to have someone like her in

1175
01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 1: your life. And if you're not fucking dm her and

1176
01:02:58,280 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 1: see if she's available to like be your friend. End

1177
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:07,000
Speaker 1: and ten seconds. Um, So Noah, when we first met, um,

1178
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:11,120
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine my life without anyone else. Uh, you

1179
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 1: have inspired me. You listen all the time. Uh, you

1180
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 1: know you're a great listener and uh, I really yea

1181
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:24,760
Speaker 1: yeah all the timer. But it didn't go off happy birthday,

1182
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 1: know what we love here. It just kept going and

1183
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 1: then I was like, well I covered yours more than

1184
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:37,240
Speaker 1: Enoh okay, I love you Noah, And that was my

1185
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:39,360
Speaker 1: version of the card I would give you later on today.

1186
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: But I love you so much. You will have an

1187
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:43,800
Speaker 1: actual birthday gift in the mail or in your email

1188
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 1: at some point because you can just send that stuff

1189
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:48,040
Speaker 1: now over email. I love you so much. See you

1190
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 1: all next week for another four days of shows, which

1191
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:55,240
Speaker 1: we will be doing remotely at least until one week

1192
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:57,000
Speaker 1: from now. I'll'll be back in St. Louis and we'll

1193
01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 1: be live. But until then I'm in Grand Cayman. If

1194
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,360
Speaker 1: you're out here in your fan hit me up in

1195
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:03,400
Speaker 1: the d m s and maybe I'll come hang out

1196
01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:05,600
Speaker 1: with you because I need friends. But otherwise, don't kill me,

1197
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 1: and don't try to find out where I am. I

1198
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:11,520
Speaker 1: feel safe and I'm fine on my own, kay, Okay,

1199
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:15,480
Speaker 1: have a great weeks. Yeah you too, love you guys. Wait,

1200
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: I said busty, but you are a busty but I

1201
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 1: was hosting it to the fans. Oh,