Speaker 1: Hey everybody, Hey, welcome back to the show. So nice
Speaker 1: to have you as always, or maybe welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Just might be your first time. That's always exciting. First time.
Speaker 1: We'll be gentle. Oh we'll try. Sometimes we get a
Speaker 1: little out of hand. Yeah, it's just so passionate over here. Um,
Speaker 1: this is such a cool week for us. We are
Speaker 1: as you're listening to this, we are probably, of all things,
Speaker 1: driving to California. Timing couldn't have been better for gas prices. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, when we planned this trip a few months
Speaker 1: ago because we're going out to a wedding in Palm Springs.
Speaker 1: Our friends Max and Stephanie, who we love and are
Speaker 1: amazing people, moved out there and they're getting married. Congratulations
Speaker 1: to them. Uh, and we're so excited to go to
Speaker 1: their wedding. And when we planned it a few months ago,
Speaker 1: we ran all the numbers and we were like, you know,
Speaker 1: we could save a little money if we drive. Um,
Speaker 1: and the guest person who at the times prices were
Speaker 1: different back then, Um, and you know what, that's okay,
Speaker 1: it's okay. We're we're fortunate enough that we can still
Speaker 1: do it. Um, it's not gonna it hasn't ruined the trip.
Speaker 1: We might rethink some things, but you don't need to
Speaker 1: worry about all that. The point is, uh, we're on
Speaker 1: the road and we've got this really cool episode to
Speaker 1: bring to you while while we're sort of out of town. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited because you know, we hear on ridiculous romance,
Speaker 1: that's us. We have focused pretty solidly on like individual
Speaker 1: affairs and triads and love triangles and divorces and marriages
Speaker 1: and just characters history, you know, pretty exclusively. But what
Speaker 1: is romance without sex? For most? For most, not for all?
Speaker 1: Many a sexual people are going it's great, great, fine,
Speaker 1: But I think you know a lot of us associates
Speaker 1: sex and romance together as one thing. And you know,
Speaker 1: what is sex without a couple of toys? Something to
Speaker 1: spice things up a little? Yeah, give it a little
Speaker 1: bit of a bulls. You know, humans have been creating
Speaker 1: marital and masturbation aids pretty much since the dawn of time,
Speaker 1: and we thought it would be super super fun to
Speaker 1: have our favorite ridiculous historians Ben Bolan and Noel Brown
Speaker 1: on our show to talk about sex toys through time. Yes,
Speaker 1: I mean you all know Ben and Nol. I'm sure
Speaker 1: these guys are not just the hosts of Ridiculous History,
Speaker 1: which is like, uh, you know, our our big sister
Speaker 1: show I call it. They also are the host of
Speaker 1: stuff they don't want you to know, Sercy Theory Show,
Speaker 1: which is one of my favorite podcasts I love. It's
Speaker 1: actually one of the first podcasts I ever listened to, definitely,
Speaker 1: and it's fantastic. But they are also the great masterminds
Speaker 1: of what we've tentatively been calling the Ridiculous Universe of podcasts,
Speaker 1: of course, including the brand new show Diculous Crime Elizabeth
Speaker 1: and Zarin and if you haven't checked it out, so good,
Speaker 1: and there are more ridiculous announcements to come. But if
Speaker 1: you're here as maybe a first time listener like baby,
Speaker 1: you're a regular listener of Ridiculous History, and Ben and
Speaker 1: Nol brought you over here, welcome to the show. We're
Speaker 1: very happy to have you. Yes, you have joined the
Speaker 1: ranks of all the amazing people that we have big
Speaker 1: crushes on who are our listeners. Um, but you know,
Speaker 1: please go check out our other episodes, because this is
Speaker 1: gonna be very different than our usual deal. You know,
Speaker 1: we usually kind of do a deep dive into either
Speaker 1: a couple or a concept or you know, somebody who
Speaker 1: fell in love with a thing like a wall or
Speaker 1: a sword, ghosts, pirates, all kinds of things, whatever gets
Speaker 1: somebody off. We've we've had a show about it, so
Speaker 1: please do check that out. But today we're getting into
Speaker 1: dildos and radishes and all so weird stuff. But that's
Speaker 1: what makes today so fun. Um in fact, today and Friday,
Speaker 1: because this will be a two parter because you know,
Speaker 1: you get bet an All in the room with us,
Speaker 1: and there's just too much to say. I just can't
Speaker 1: shut up. Um, but we're so excited we got to
Speaker 1: hang out with our friends and just like pull out
Speaker 1: the craziest info we could find for y'all on these
Speaker 1: bizarre historical sex toys. Yes, so hopefully you enjoy it
Speaker 1: as much as we did. Yes, definitely, So we got
Speaker 1: bet a nl here, I say, we jump right into it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's go. Hey the French, come listen. Well, Elia and
Speaker 1: Diana got some stories to tell. There's no match making
Speaker 1: a romantic tips. It's just about ridiculous relationships, a love.
Speaker 1: It might be any type of person at all, and
Speaker 1: abstract cons are a concrete wall. But if there's a
Speaker 1: story where the second clans Ridiculous role, that's a production
Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio. Hey, guys, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming on the show. Right, I too am very
Speaker 1: excited and enthused, So I'm sorry. Yeah, we woke these
Speaker 1: guys up at three am and told them they had
Speaker 1: to come jump on the show interrupting, and I was like,
Speaker 1: can I can I bring clothes with me? I didn't
Speaker 1: get an answer, but I found I found a T shirt. Um,
Speaker 1: So I'm just not going to stand up while we
Speaker 1: record out of respect for this. Yeah, but I know
Speaker 1: that we were massively excited first off, big big fans
Speaker 1: of Ridiculous room massively yes, massively excited, uh, positively vibrating
Speaker 1: with pleasure because this is a this is a show. Uh.
Speaker 1: One thing we love about Ridiculous romances, uh your ability
Speaker 1: to explore things in a way that we often don't
Speaker 1: in ridiculous history. When you agree no explore right? Sorry yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: definitely this is going to be a journey of voyage
Speaker 1: of self discovery. Uh yeah, I mean we you know,
Speaker 1: we try to keep it p G thirteen and honestly, like,
Speaker 1: there's no reason that the history of sex toys can't
Speaker 1: be Pg. Thirteen. I mean it's history. These are things,
Speaker 1: these are artifacts, These are historic relic sometimes sacred in
Speaker 1: many cases. Yeah, the history itself definitely Pg. Thirteen, us
Speaker 1: talking about it. We'll see. I love it though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is us. This is like me and Ben's chance
Speaker 1: to really let it all. We take you guys off
Speaker 1: the leash, and we'll see what happens. Okay, wait, what
Speaker 1: do we is this? I trust you guys, Diana? Is
Speaker 1: this a is this a episode where we need a
Speaker 1: safe word? Or where are we at with that? You know,
Speaker 1: a safe word is always a good idea if you
Speaker 1: ever feel uncomfortable. Definitely, just you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: scream at the top of your lungs hard words. That
Speaker 1: will be our safe word, right, hard is a great
Speaker 1: sad no potential for misunderstanding there. I always just preferred.
Speaker 1: I think we've mentioned on the show before that I
Speaker 1: just think the ultimate safe word is just safe word.
Speaker 1: Why why or something? When you're like, look, safe word,
Speaker 1: it says it all. It's safe word. Safe word. You're done.
Speaker 1: I'm done. I'm not going to accidentally say safe word
Speaker 1: and passion in the moment if I don't mean it
Speaker 1: unlike pineapples, which comes up a lot. Well, yeah, kindly stop. Sorry,
Speaker 1: the safe word must be submitted in writing in triplicate. No,
Speaker 1: this is a question that I think is on both
Speaker 1: my mind and and knowles. Uh, what are some of
Speaker 1: the like you guys have gone into some really um
Speaker 1: at times controversial territory for a lot of people. So
Speaker 1: one of the things that I think you always approach
Speaker 1: from such an empathetic human angle is the idea of
Speaker 1: people's sexual explorations, right, I think because we call it
Speaker 1: ridiculous romance, and you've had stories that are almost entirely
Speaker 1: just just the romance. Right, But today when you you,
Speaker 1: when you all came to us with this idea of
Speaker 1: sex toys, I at least I can't speak for unial.
Speaker 1: I knew they were ancient because people have been into
Speaker 1: this for a long time. But I don't think I grasped,
Speaker 1: uh grasp whatever. I don't think I understood how like
Speaker 1: how intertwined with society, past, present and future these things
Speaker 1: have been. And is it true like are we at
Speaker 1: a did we just as a society get out of
Speaker 1: a period where these things were taboo? I have so
Speaker 1: many questions. Uh, yeah, I think so. I mean, especially
Speaker 1: dildos particularly were vilified. At one point in history. They
Speaker 1: were very very common and awesome and everybody loved them,
Speaker 1: and then they were like, wait, do you think my
Speaker 1: wife will like this dildo better than me? And then
Speaker 1: they kind of fell out of favor with the gentleman.
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? Learn how to be a
Speaker 1: better lover? That's it's it's remarkable how frequently male in
Speaker 1: security shape's history. Remarkable, so remarkable, almost too much remarkable. Um.
Speaker 1: I also did learn too that because it allowed gay men,
Speaker 1: dildos allowed gay men to have sex without you know,
Speaker 1: without actually uh putting their own body parts in each other,
Speaker 1: they were able to have sex when they had HIV,
Speaker 1: and so they became synonymous with having HIV for a
Speaker 1: while as well. If you had a dilda meant you
Speaker 1: were you were like had a deadly disease, which is
Speaker 1: very weird. But obviously that changed all right. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: they were trying real hard to make everyone very scared
Speaker 1: of gay people. Um, that's true during that period. So
Speaker 1: I think they were trying anything, and they were trying
Speaker 1: anything with stick. Speaking of sticks, speaking of sticks. Early
Speaker 1: on though, I mean, like the attitude towards sex was
Speaker 1: pretty la fair like I mean the earliest days, and
Speaker 1: then it went through the kind of puritanical phase and
Speaker 1: then sort of his come full circle. Um in the
Speaker 1: modern day. I know we're going to get there, but
Speaker 1: why don't we take it back to like antiquity and
Speaker 1: like the discovery of the first mystical dildo of the gods? Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: we I mean we have been digging up dildos for
Speaker 1: a very long time, right, they think the first one humans,
Speaker 1: not us personally, we have been personally, We've only been
Speaker 1: digging up dildos for a couple of months. But humans
Speaker 1: have been doing your backyard. It's weird. I have no
Speaker 1: idea how they got there. It was the oldest house
Speaker 1: on the street, they tell us, so there was nothing
Speaker 1: but farmland dildo. Everyone would hide their dildos in our backyard. No, yeah,
Speaker 1: human beings have been digging up dildos for a very
Speaker 1: long time. I think they found the very first dildo
Speaker 1: in a cave in Germany that dates back to the
Speaker 1: Ice Age, so twenty eight thousand years ago, and it's
Speaker 1: made of chalk. Chalk, I guess you gotta stay warm,
Speaker 1: but geez feels dry though, doesn't it like something like that?
Speaker 1: Why would you want to put but you something? But
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess you're really desperate and the ice ages.
Speaker 1: But you could really leave your mark, chalk it up,
Speaker 1: chalk it after a lack of supplies. I don't know
Speaker 1: what couldn't lead It's a fashioned one out of like
Speaker 1: a block of ice, just kind of make it like smooth.
Speaker 1: I guess it would melt, but it would take you.
Speaker 1: Do you want to put ice like inside your butt?
Speaker 1: Because I can tell you I was not. It could
Speaker 1: be interesting, who knows. I mean it was the ice age.
Speaker 1: They were very used to that feeling. Whatever. Isn't there
Speaker 1: another old one that was discovered? Um, I believe somewhere
Speaker 1: in like Syria that was like made of stone. There
Speaker 1: were like stone ones as well, stone, ivory, jade, probably bones.
Speaker 1: I imagine I feel like that's a that's an obvious one.
Speaker 1: Make a sure, um. And if you look up prehistoric dildos,
Speaker 1: they have a wide variety of sizes and girths and
Speaker 1: different foreskin like options. They even came with tattoos or
Speaker 1: little illustrations carved in them. So I love that there
Speaker 1: was some art. They're like branded. They were branded, they
Speaker 1: were like dildo. They probably had a close personal relationship,
Speaker 1: you know. At I assumed that even in more uh
Speaker 1: collectivist early societies, there were still things that were considered
Speaker 1: kind of like your personal property, like hey, this like
Speaker 1: like a two shot, you know, or you know, or
Speaker 1: your button plug or your dildo. Right. But by the way,
Speaker 1: I'm a mistake, I said Syria just kind of off
Speaker 1: the top of my head. It was Germany, I believe,
Speaker 1: where they found these collections of siltstone Germany. Some of
Speaker 1: these were like monogram Germany. The early four front of
Speaker 1: this techniu makes sense exactly of of anywhere in the world,
Speaker 1: where would you look for a dildo, but Germany. You
Speaker 1: listened to your show, that's awesome. So so there's another thing.
Speaker 1: You know, Diane, You've found this in your researchens something
Speaker 1: that really stood out to me because you think a
Speaker 1: lot about not to get too in the weeds, so
Speaker 1: you think a lot about uh material science to put
Speaker 1: it in the lamest way possible, like, uh, it makes
Speaker 1: sense that there would be something like a smooth stone
Speaker 1: or ivory your bone, or even would that would make
Speaker 1: sense and probably have less of a risk of injury
Speaker 1: or irritation. But what's up with the incredibly silly name
Speaker 1: The Holnest Boy b O. I by you, boy, and
Speaker 1: he's more a man than you'll everybody. Pretty pretty good
Speaker 1: brand name, but yeah, what's the deal with that? This
Speaker 1: is a dates back to ancient Greece, I believe, and
Speaker 1: then carried over to some other adjacent culture. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: they were stuffed phalluses and they were made of polished leather,
Speaker 1: and I guess apparently sometimes you would even find the
Speaker 1: stone ones with like a leather sheath, so they would
Speaker 1: be warmer and softer when there um, so that's part
Speaker 1: that was smart. I feel like they were really thinking
Speaker 1: about comfort at some point, and they were like, you know,
Speaker 1: while we're making coats and shoes, let's go ahead set
Speaker 1: some aside. Somebody said, ladies, siltstone just isn't doing it
Speaker 1: for me. A lot of roughage about it, and they
Speaker 1: didn't work leather well. Speaking of chafe, the ancient Greeks
Speaker 1: would also use olive oil as a lubricant, So there
Speaker 1: goes your chafing problem. You just get that bad boy,
Speaker 1: that bad olives boy. Dipped in some olive oil. Literally
Speaker 1: that enters into the etymology of the word, right, does
Speaker 1: that all his boy referencing oil? I wonder if they
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I always do this where I
Speaker 1: see two vaguely similar words and I'm like, they must
Speaker 1: be related. There's no way they're not. Pretty incidence because
Speaker 1: I believe this is the first version of this that
Speaker 1: was called this, then there were other cultures that used
Speaker 1: that that term as well. It makes me think of
Speaker 1: have you guys ever seen the movie Caligula? You know
Speaker 1: I didn't watch. Uh, yeah, it's it's it's a lot.
Speaker 1: It was produced by the publisher of Penthouse and they
Speaker 1: wanted it to be like full front orgy orgiastic raunch City.
Speaker 1: But it's also like, you know, a really expensive, you know,
Speaker 1: period movie with Malcolm McDowell playing the titular psychopath Emperor
Speaker 1: of Rome. And there's a scene where he um, he
Speaker 1: uses olive oil uh to loop up his fist a thing. Yeah, Like, like,
Speaker 1: I've got the etymology because they're thinking of this as well.
Speaker 1: And you know, English being such a language of the
Speaker 1: lazy and plagiaris plagiaristic people of the world. Uh, we
Speaker 1: end up with a lot of things that may seem
Speaker 1: like they are falsely related. But according to this all
Speaker 1: this boy, which is the funny one, is the plural
Speaker 1: of olibos, which is ancient Greek for to slip, to glide.
Speaker 1: You know, like that slipping slide commercial from the eighties,
Speaker 1: right you take a jump and take a die. Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like what and I don't know, Eli, you
Speaker 1: and I are the olds in this conversation. Whereas yeah,
Speaker 1: where I as I believe olive is unrelated etymologically, but
Speaker 1: dang it again, olive exactly like a game boy this.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go retied to be with my olive boy.
Speaker 1: There's another interesting thing here. We're talking about the cyclical
Speaker 1: ups and downs of sex positivity for lack of a
Speaker 1: better word, throughout human history. One thing that surprised me
Speaker 1: in the research here is that the Greek men, to
Speaker 1: your point about male insecurity, like the Greek men who
Speaker 1: would go off to fighting wars, were actually on board
Speaker 1: with giving giving an all this boy to their partners. Yeah.
Speaker 1: They thought that if women were left too long without
Speaker 1: an injection of sperm in them at some point, they
Speaker 1: would eventually get hysteria. Or something called a wandering uterus.
Speaker 1: I know, it's a tough time around the house when
Speaker 1: my uterus jumps out and starts to start myself. You know,
Speaker 1: we get we always get calls from the neighbors. Us
Speaker 1: is loose again, you know, a little buddy. You just
Speaker 1: need a higher fence. I keep saying, I thought it
Speaker 1: felt a little lighter trying to find itself. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just trying to understand who it really is, Like
Speaker 1: what am I doing? I gotta say that this this
Speaker 1: concept though, of like leaving the women with a dildo
Speaker 1: so that they wouldn't you know that u verses wouldn't
Speaker 1: wonder It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase
Speaker 1: left to their own devices. We have to we have
Speaker 1: to noculate you with sperm or else we will go insane,
Speaker 1: which is so funny and that I mean, it's noted here,
Speaker 1: of course, that hysteria and sex toys had a very
Speaker 1: long historical link, mostly for women. You know, doctors would
Speaker 1: uh do a pelvic massage for women that would result
Speaker 1: in a paroxysm. Uh I was supposed to cure them
Speaker 1: of hysteria, and I bet a lot of women were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel so hysterical today. I don't know, doctor showing
Speaker 1: me how I could do this maybe at home for
Speaker 1: myself when a hysteria just comes on. He's like, no,
Speaker 1: I think you need a professional. Was this kind of
Speaker 1: like a like a slow shift, because it seems like
Speaker 1: at first these sex toys are purely meant for kind
Speaker 1: of you know, the most hedonistic of pleasures, um, and
Speaker 1: then it starts to be more functional, where it's like
Speaker 1: I am the man. I I you know, you are
Speaker 1: my property, and I'm going to give you this as
Speaker 1: a stand in for me while I'm away. But then
Speaker 1: it kind of started moving more towards like being a
Speaker 1: medical device, right or we maybe we're not quite there yet,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I think vibrators more specifically, we're we're marketed
Speaker 1: as medical devices and dildo's were not. So I think
Speaker 1: that's why dildos actually had more controversy on them than
Speaker 1: vibrators ever did, because vibrators never really had Yeah, vibrators
Speaker 1: never really seemed to be a problem for people. They're like, cool,
Speaker 1: whatever gets you steampowered thing and have at it. But like,
Speaker 1: but it was like a medical thing because ladies are
Speaker 1: so crazy they have to have something, I guess, But
Speaker 1: with dildos it was more about like actual penetration and
Speaker 1: men could use them, and you know, lesbians used them
Speaker 1: and stuff, so it became like more of a I
Speaker 1: guess I could see that. You know, if you've got
Speaker 1: something that vibrates, then the men, you know, well I
Speaker 1: I can't do that, So at least that's a different device.
Speaker 1: But if it's just a dildo, I've got a perfectly
Speaker 1: good dick right here. What's the problem you want to
Speaker 1: you want to dick in you? I can make that happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: getting a little more aggravated about the diage. This is
Speaker 1: a great spot for a break, so we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, everyone. So there's another question that I had
Speaker 1: that was a very I guess, practical question, Like, obviously
Speaker 1: a chalk like a dildo device to chalk. It sounds
Speaker 1: like it's what the person had to work with at
Speaker 1: the time. But when you're thinking about people in the
Speaker 1: natural world, where there's not nearly as much technology as
Speaker 1: there is today in two as we record this, wouldn't
Speaker 1: the natural world already have some kind of like phallic
Speaker 1: thing you could mess with, Like I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make the laziest choices like I was. No,
Speaker 1: we're not gonna tell that story, Like, oh, okay, I'll
Speaker 1: say it. So I was in a grocery store during
Speaker 1: the height of the lockdown, will only go out from
Speaker 1: necessses whatever be massed up and everything. And I had
Speaker 1: been out in public in a while, and the entire
Speaker 1: I think I mentioned to you guys off air, the
Speaker 1: entire grocery store was filled with a weirdly unnecessary sexual
Speaker 1: tension because people hadn't seen each other in a while.
Speaker 1: Everybody's got an aura of mystery because you know, two
Speaker 1: thirds of their faces covered. And I was in the
Speaker 1: produce aisle and this, uh, there's a person there, and
Speaker 1: I can tell you much more about them who saw me,
Speaker 1: like selecting cucumbers for some stuff always gonna cook, and
Speaker 1: we're staring at me hard to the point where I
Speaker 1: just put down the cucumbers and thought, I'm going to
Speaker 1: cook something else because this is this person is reading
Speaker 1: this more into this situation than you know, my lay
Speaker 1: mass salad or whatever. And why I think of that?
Speaker 1: You know, we like it's a troupe in it's a
Speaker 1: trope in so much Western Eurotica as well, like watch
Speaker 1: this person eat fruit or whatever? So did that play
Speaker 1: a role in like the history of sex toys? Most
Speaker 1: definitely they are like ancient texts like Arabian Nights that
Speaker 1: talk about fruit and vegetables and just any penis shaped object.
Speaker 1: But the best one I saw was from this Ming
Speaker 1: dynasty writer tout sung E And you know, we don't
Speaker 1: speak Cantonese, but we try. Circa thirteen sixty he wrote
Speaker 1: about something called the Cantonese growing, which was a root
Speaker 1: sufficiently penis shaped to be used as a dildo, mostly
Speaker 1: by peasant women in the country rural areas. And interestingly
Speaker 1: it was also called an olspos, so they probably got
Speaker 1: that from ancient Greece. Imagine such a similar name. Yeah right,
Speaker 1: such a similar name it must have been. And the
Speaker 1: legend of this Cantonese groin is quote. In the pastures
Speaker 1: of the Tartars, wild horses often copulate with dragons. Drops
Speaker 1: of the seamen will fall down and enter the earth,
Speaker 1: and after some time put forth shoots resembling bamboo sprouts
Speaker 1: of pointed shape and covered with small scales close together
Speaker 1: like the teeth of a comb, and with a network
Speaker 1: of veins, making them very similar to the male member. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you guys have teeth of a comb on your
Speaker 1: diack to that? Well, to be fair, I mean not
Speaker 1: to get to you know, anatomically correct when there is
Speaker 1: a seam, you know, on the bottom of of of
Speaker 1: a penis that is vaguely comb like or it's like
Speaker 1: a ridge kind of things, zig zaggy kind of you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, the veiny part is always just you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes I get these sweet potatoes everything store that have
Speaker 1: all these veins up along the side of them. It's
Speaker 1: very very upsetting trying to say sweet potato, that's a
Speaker 1: very sweet any of the produce section in general, you
Speaker 1: just got even wonder don't when you when you skip cucumbers?
Speaker 1: Where do you go? Because almost everything Well, it's so funny.
Speaker 1: The emoji is eggplant, which is the one I would
Speaker 1: probably not turn to you in a crisis. And actually
Speaker 1: another ming writer named Lee you wrote a theatrical play
Speaker 1: about a lesbian couple who use a double at least
Speaker 1: so they had double sided dildos, like as far back
Speaker 1: as the thirteen hundreds. And this was a stick made
Speaker 1: of water ivory with two silk bands attached to the middle.
Speaker 1: I guess you like pull on it. Yeah, well you
Speaker 1: need a grip, right, something to grip on. That makes sense.
Speaker 1: So I assuming we I haven't seen these this play,
Speaker 1: I have not said. I don't think there's been mounted
Speaker 1: in a while. Hasn't been mounted? Is it? Is it
Speaker 1: double sided? Like two heads to it? Yeah? They could.
Speaker 1: They were saying in this uh, in this UH book
Speaker 1: about the the main writers that female homosexuality was very
Speaker 1: common and considered to be a fine, normal thing, no
Speaker 1: problem ladies have at but male homosexuality was very frowned
Speaker 1: upon at the same time, which is so interesting to
Speaker 1: me the gendered it sinks about homosexuality. It's interesting because
Speaker 1: there was also, especially nupper class, there was a uh,
Speaker 1: some pretty distinct sharp lines around gender division. Right, So
Speaker 1: you could end up being, you know, some wine of
Speaker 1: noble birth, and you're you're not gonna meet a lot
Speaker 1: of dudes who are not, you know, either working for
Speaker 1: you or or your relatives. So maybe how far historically
Speaker 1: is this after ancient Greek and ancient he said, it's
Speaker 1: a long time, yeah, because I mean, like you know,
Speaker 1: in those in those days, the moment, I mean it
Speaker 1: was like almost like like cool, not cool to not
Speaker 1: be by or by curious or have like a stables
Speaker 1: were the one being penetrated. You had to be a
Speaker 1: tops only, which is so funny because if everyone is
Speaker 1: the top, then where were they putting it? And the way, guys,
Speaker 1: what's a power? Bottom? Somebody explained to me, what a power?
Speaker 1: Have you not seen one in Philadelphia? And explanation? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll just maybe maybe some ridiculous romantics. We'll get a
Speaker 1: we'll get an answering machine on a later episode. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't just vegetables and fruit that people used. Um.
Speaker 1: Speaking of ancient Greece in a book called The Joy
Speaker 1: of Sexist Love, Lust, Lust, Love and Longing in the
Speaker 1: Ancient World by Vicky Leon, breadstick dildos were a common thing.
Speaker 1: Were the bottomless? No? They all found the bottom? I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think any of us absolute. Okay, so first off,
Speaker 1: I always shot to Larry David. But the crumbs right
Speaker 1: like crocs? This is my first question, exactly exact. Plus,
Speaker 1: I guess you have to have enough bread that you
Speaker 1: would let one sit by get stale enough to do
Speaker 1: the job. Plus plus I'm thinking you bust out the
Speaker 1: olive oil, and there's a and there's a loaf of bread.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not gonna do anything, but immediately it's
Speaker 1: gonna be gone black pepper in there. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. It's food is just gonna come before sex
Speaker 1: for me. Also, I have a real um not phobia,
Speaker 1: but I'm just sort of squigged out a little bit
Speaker 1: by incorporating food stuffs into sex stuff, saying I just
Speaker 1: don't think the twain should should meet. Like I don't
Speaker 1: even like like like sexy strawberry use that's just no,
Speaker 1: just yeah, don't care like inviting ants to hang out
Speaker 1: in your bed and stickiness. He's already going to be
Speaker 1: stickiness eventually anyway, But that's how you know it's over.
Speaker 1: You don't want sticking this in advance, how you know
Speaker 1: we're done. Oh man. I also don't like the idea
Speaker 1: of putting yeast anywhere near your vagina issues down there.
Speaker 1: But apparently this happened when at an ancient bakery. When
Speaker 1: quote a gal with time on her hands started four
Speaker 1: around with bread dough is like a loose woman hands
Speaker 1: right while lasciviously daydreaming, she created an a lissbo colics.
Speaker 1: The breadstick dildo the sex industry's first green product. Well done,
Speaker 1: well done, very important to be sustainable in our sex
Speaker 1: toy expliration. I'm sure that was her primary concern. Thousands
Speaker 1: of years people are gonna plastic waste. I'm onto something.
Speaker 1: You guys are calling me weird, but just wait one day,
Speaker 1: we're going to want to get power from the sun.
Speaker 1: So yeah, this is this is uh fascinating because it
Speaker 1: sounds like it caught on and became kind of a
Speaker 1: cottage Indi Street, at least in ancient Athens. Uh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was a There was a note from that interview
Speaker 1: that Leon did with the Huffington's Post where she answered
Speaker 1: a question that I was a little too hesitant to
Speaker 1: ask because I'm one of the more immature people in
Speaker 1: today's conversation. What happens to the bread after yes, you
Speaker 1: sell it for half price obviously, or you sell it
Speaker 1: for the price okay on fans, you could probably sell it.
Speaker 1: Fort were always selling their used underwear and there's someone
Speaker 1: for some crazy shit, you know, That's the thing there's
Speaker 1: always Leon said, these breadsticks were these oldest post colleagues,
Speaker 1: excuse me, were a custom made to fit and quote
Speaker 1: even nutritious. Should the need arise different need arise? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like yeah, functional and edible nutritious though, well my question,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a that's a very broad term, you know,
Speaker 1: like a multi grain. So there was some kind of friction. Yeah, sure, sure,
Speaker 1: with or without right seeds. Dr Ruth is probably this
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with. Well, it depends do you want
Speaker 1: it ribbed for her pleasure? And maybe that's what the rides. Yeah,
Speaker 1: apparently there's a reference to using dildos in the playlist
Speaker 1: is Strata, which is about women who go on a
Speaker 1: sex strike to stop a warm So they definitely I
Speaker 1: wonder if they ever used Baggett's and like, I kind
Speaker 1: of want to do a production now they're like, well,
Speaker 1: like we're all set over here. Well, the war is
Speaker 1: going terribly, but our grain industry is just dominating. Time
Speaker 1: for a teeny weeny commercial break. We will be right back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show, everybody. Okay, I got I'll
Speaker 1: stop going back to the weird idea that people have
Speaker 1: to have quote sperm injections to not go crazy because
Speaker 1: there's there's no sperm involved obviously, right with I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not a baker, but okay, yeah, just trying. But
Speaker 1: I suppose if you made like in a Claire, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: there might be something there. Oh boy, that's my nickname.
Speaker 1: I said it was Creamfield. I didn't tell you what
Speaker 1: kind of creamy, but I did sell you for no
Speaker 1: refunds and you're welcome, so I did say. So we're
Speaker 1: we're looking. I think it's safe to say that, like,
Speaker 1: what we're already seeing is a long established pattern of people, honestly,
Speaker 1: people taking some agency for themselves, and people say I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily need another person and all that baggage that
Speaker 1: comes with it if I already know what I want,
Speaker 1: um right, and this this is a trend that content.
Speaker 1: I gotta say, spoiler alert, uh for everybody listening. I
Speaker 1: am so excited to get to some poetry in a second,
Speaker 1: because I'm like emotionally nine years old. But but I
Speaker 1: but I think we've got maybe just something, just another
Speaker 1: thing to add in here beforehand, which is we've also
Speaker 1: established past the world of like so past the ancient world.
Speaker 1: When we're talking about a lot of this stuff, we're
Speaker 1: talking about people who are probably considered to be people
Speaker 1: of means. I mean, history itself as we know it
Speaker 1: is is kind of inherently a history of the literate
Speaker 1: class because they're the ones who could write. So are
Speaker 1: I guess what I'm asking? I'm not sure how to
Speaker 1: phrase this. What we're rich people doing at this point,
Speaker 1: like using bread that's what the servants were for. No,
Speaker 1: but you're so right they I don't think they used
Speaker 1: as many root vegetables and stuff because they had money
Speaker 1: to pay for nice things and um. By the time
Speaker 1: of the Renaissance, rich folks had Dildo's custom made from
Speaker 1: silver and ivory and gold and other like precious materials.
Speaker 1: So they had, like I mean, very valuable sex toys
Speaker 1: in their possession and probably beautifully decorated. Don't you think,
Speaker 1: oh you I would think that, yeah, because you're showing
Speaker 1: them off to the neighbors right myself in your bedroom
Speaker 1: and you're like, this one has is adorned with garners.
Speaker 1: I'm a lady. There's a certain element of keeping up
Speaker 1: with the Joneses. Of course, toysium, I think really skip
Speaker 1: this period in history already. But I just wanted to
Speaker 1: mention something that I that I ran across, um in
Speaker 1: terms of like what the rich we're doing. Uh, there's
Speaker 1: a rumor. I think it's backed up with with actual findings,
Speaker 1: archaeological findings. But apparently Cleopatra would use like a papyrus
Speaker 1: box full of live bees as like first analog. I
Speaker 1: saw a hollow gourd that she filled with these and
Speaker 1: that was the first legend says that was the first
Speaker 1: vibrator um, which I have never wanted to get off
Speaker 1: enough to put live bees anywhere close to my body.
Speaker 1: But if they seriously high road people, Diana, geez, Cleopatra
Speaker 1: better than it was a different world. She had different
Speaker 1: things available to her, different things available, So true, Well,
Speaker 1: what mean yeah, if you feel us for words, I
Speaker 1: think you have perfect timing, my friend, because we're finally
Speaker 1: getting to a little bit of poetry. And what I
Speaker 1: love about this kind of poetry is that just like uh,
Speaker 1: Beethoven's really dirty songs about farting and stuff, it proves
Speaker 1: that people back then we're not really different from people today. Uh.
Speaker 1: And yeah, in school we read about we read about
Speaker 1: the the high falutine noble stuff. But I I think
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we miss just how potty humor the
Speaker 1: human population is. I kind of compare it to like
Speaker 1: you think your dad didn't look at porn, but he
Speaker 1: definitely looked at porn, I mean, and his father and
Speaker 1: just and on and on through the generation. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's very true. I think that's an interesting thing about
Speaker 1: history is remembering that people loved to have sex, people
Speaker 1: love to make jokes. I remember listening to a Noble
Speaker 1: Blood episode that podcast Noble Blood is very good, and
Speaker 1: she was talking about reading some people. She was like,
Speaker 1: historians take this story really seriously as this like leader
Speaker 1: being a bit to her like whatever. But she's like,
Speaker 1: it's actually clearly a practical joke if you look at
Speaker 1: it as a prank, It's just a funny thing she
Speaker 1: was doing with her court. I have to remember that
Speaker 1: people did did play jokes on each other back in
Speaker 1: the day where it's fully stoic all the time and
Speaker 1: winning wars or whatever. Um. But yes, speaking of etymology,
Speaker 1: I know you're an etymology fan, nol, but the actual
Speaker 1: the word I do love etymology myself, But the word
Speaker 1: dildo came from our friends, the Italians. Thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you Italy. It came from the word do letto, meaning
Speaker 1: to delight. Makes sense it and glide and delight the
Speaker 1: three things the double D sound is always just a
Speaker 1: fun It's a delight to say dil dodo. It sounds
Speaker 1: like like a real, real silly goofy thing. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I've got to ask, so uh beat behind the curtain
Speaker 1: folks for years, always trying to convince our bosses to
Speaker 1: let me do an etymology show right in and tell
Speaker 1: them we should uh and that the four of us
Speaker 1: will do it. I'm volunteering everybody here. We need your help.
Speaker 1: But this reminds me another another word that came into
Speaker 1: English usage from Italian is uh dilettant, and I think
Speaker 1: it has the same ultimate route right to do. So
Speaker 1: my question is, even though now we call dilatant, you know,
Speaker 1: we call the definition a lover of the arts or whatever.
Speaker 1: Um did it mean dildo people in the beginning, a
Speaker 1: lover of the dildos? It's people who had way too
Speaker 1: many in their dildo orium whatever. Like she has a
Speaker 1: whole other room. Guys, why would I needlock I don't
Speaker 1: even have ad dildo let alone, MANI it would accommodate
Speaker 1: an entire rack. We'll be adding another wing onto the palace.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we have a really wonderful, hilarious body poem
Speaker 1: about kind of about the Italian influence here. It was
Speaker 1: by John Wilmot, who was the second Earl of Rochester,
Speaker 1: and he was apparently well known for his lewd poetry
Speaker 1: that he would write. And um, we pulled out some
Speaker 1: select verses from kind of a long poem called signor
Speaker 1: Dildo that he wrote. That's that's Mr right, Mr Dildo.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I say, let's head on down to poetry
Speaker 1: corner and he signor Dildo by John Wilmot. You would
Speaker 1: take him at first for no person of note, because
Speaker 1: he appears in a plain leather coat. But when you
Speaker 1: his virtuous abilities, no you'll fall down and worshiped signor Dildo.
Speaker 1: My lady southesk heaven prosper her fort. First clothed him
Speaker 1: in satin, then brought him to court, but his head
Speaker 1: in the circle he scarcely durst show so modest a
Speaker 1: youth was signor Dildo, the Countess of Foul myth of
Speaker 1: whom people tell a footman wear shirts of a guinea,
Speaker 1: and Hell might save that expense if she did, but
Speaker 1: know a lustier swinger is signor Dildo, who the pattern
Speaker 1: of virtue, Her grace of Cleveland has swallowed more bricks
Speaker 1: than the ocean has will slant rhyme right there. I
Speaker 1: gotta get in credit that this has said Cleveland has sat.
Speaker 1: But by rubbing and scrubbing so wide does it grow.
Speaker 1: It is fit for just nothing but the senior dildo.
Speaker 1: Our dainty fine duchesses have got a trick to dote
Speaker 1: on a fool for the sake of his brick. The
Speaker 1: fops were undone, did their graces, but no, the discretion
Speaker 1: and the vigor of senor dildo. This senior is sound safe,
Speaker 1: ready and dumb as ever was candle, carrot or thumb
Speaker 1: been away with these nasty devices and show how you
Speaker 1: rate the just merit of seeing your dildo. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1: So I want to point out just two things real quick. First,
Speaker 1: dumb in that last first great read everybody wait three things, um. Second,
Speaker 1: dumb in this sense most likely just means silent, but
Speaker 1: it works, it works very well. Yeah, congratulations himbo. So
Speaker 1: I also, I don't think we said this in the beginning,
Speaker 1: as we were excited about talking about this off air.
Speaker 1: Um Diana Eli. This is not the full poem. These
Speaker 1: are excerpts. Have it in the notes as select versus
Speaker 1: from this poem. My question is how long is this poem?
Speaker 1: Is he just likes pre television exactly. I had nothing
Speaker 1: else to do. So this ship went on for like
Speaker 1: I think it was like eighteen or nineteen same any
Speaker 1: name dropped so many people, and I'm like, I hope
Speaker 1: they're real, Like were they here listening? Like are you
Speaker 1: trying to say that I have swallowed more pricks than
Speaker 1: the ocean has sand? So he's specifically checks people. Well,
Speaker 1: this is I don't know if there are real people,
Speaker 1: but I think so. I think I think he is
Speaker 1: at least referring some because this happened a lot in
Speaker 1: uh in aristocratic circles, they would write stuffs are roasty,
Speaker 1: kind of like they would they would be writing stuff
Speaker 1: that's like, you know, they put a different name on it,
Speaker 1: but everybody knew who you meant. You know, you meant
Speaker 1: that slutty chick over there, you know, yeah, exactly, So
Speaker 1: it was always like some under some shade. One thing
Speaker 1: I love about this style of poetry is it's so
Speaker 1: smug and self satisfied, like just like I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: the thing again, like at the end of it, you know,
Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, like the fact that there's like
Speaker 1: the fact that there's so many more stanzas to this
Speaker 1: that we left out, just hammers that home even for
Speaker 1: uh right on the head. I am just so delightfully
Speaker 1: body and uh and hilarious. That's what this guy's doing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was very proud of this poem. I'm sure very
Speaker 1: excited to share with all the ladies that he was
Speaker 1: talking about. It's like, hey, I put you in my poem.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you? What man? You read it first?
Speaker 1: You should come to the show. I also wonder if
Speaker 1: the Countess of Falmouth was like, oh, so I don't
Speaker 1: have to funck my footman and give him nice stuff.
Speaker 1: I could just get me a little toy to put
Speaker 1: in the house. This this is also this is where
Speaker 1: we see like a turn. So it's widely accepted, even
Speaker 1: though it might be a little edgy. Right. Uh, this
Speaker 1: guy's doing insult comedy tail as old as time. Right.
Speaker 1: But as as you guys have been telling us before,
Speaker 1: eventually there was there was a time where a guys
Speaker 1: started to promote uh dudes, I mean specifically started to
Speaker 1: associate when they ran a smear campaign against still those right,
Speaker 1: it's promiscuity. It's a v D. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: for the entire time, dudes had their their own toys,
Speaker 1: right and uh, Eli, I'm just I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: go hashtag no pun left behind because it's sincere. When
Speaker 1: you at the very top of the show said male
Speaker 1: insecurity because it's been a long day for me, I
Speaker 1: thought you meant a male hyphen eye in space security. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with that pun, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave it out in the cold.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, like a guard, some guard who can't
Speaker 1: uh you knows romantics, help us out. Just explain that
Speaker 1: pun to us, the punt. So, uh, this is fascinating
Speaker 1: because we haven't talked about something that, uh is apparently
Speaker 1: quite popular. I feel weird saying it. I feel like
Speaker 1: my mom's going to come back and find me if
Speaker 1: I say this. Cock Rings, Yeah, but they're old to dude,
Speaker 1: my favorite I do one of my favorite MR Show sketches,
Speaker 1: like a fake commercial. It's like cock ring warehouse. Any
Speaker 1: cock will do, but they're like so bored that they're like,
Speaker 1: come on down to the cock ran. All the cock
Speaker 1: ran new and used cock rings vintage. Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1: I love that. It's hilarious, it's fantastic. But yeah, they
Speaker 1: are actually pretty old school cock rings. They have been
Speaker 1: around for a long time. Um part partly, I guess
Speaker 1: because of that male in security, because they're supposed to
Speaker 1: help you achieve or keep an erection for longer. So
Speaker 1: it's not kind of part of I guess that where
Speaker 1: they're like, I need something to like make sure UM
Speaker 1: given her the goods. It's about edging. That's the term
Speaker 1: you're sort of keeping yourself. It's almost like a tantric
Speaker 1: thing where you're sort of like holding back. You know,
Speaker 1: you're trying to not you know, climax in two point
Speaker 1: five seconds, right, trying to give it some time. There's
Speaker 1: a book called The Book of Kink Sex Beyond the
Speaker 1: Missionary by Ava Christina, and it says that in the
Speaker 1: Gin and Song Dynasties in China around a d D,
Speaker 1: they would make cock rings out of a goat's eyelid
Speaker 1: because it's already a circle of skin, and then they
Speaker 1: would leave the lashes on the favorite a little tickly.
Speaker 1: Can I just say the things we've done to goats
Speaker 1: on this show, even when we went on your show
Speaker 1: last time for Valentine's Day, we put goats through Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's some goat vivisection involved in one of those rituals
Speaker 1: that we talked about. It was the goat skins a lot.
Speaker 1: The hell we had a guy marry a goat in
Speaker 1: a recent episode that we talked about that. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that we just we're we're putting goats through it. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: it's part of a long history too of looking to
Speaker 1: the natural world for things that are thought to in
Speaker 1: one way or another enhanced sexual performance. Right, And even
Speaker 1: that even exists today with the various different unproven or
Speaker 1: disproven stories that say, hey, you know what, this thing
Speaker 1: is an aphrodisiac. I know it sounds crazy, but just
Speaker 1: let this guy slap you with a goat skin a
Speaker 1: couple of times and then come back and thank me.
Speaker 1: Just come back, and this entire goats testicle, yeah, will
Speaker 1: imbute you with the power of the Why is it
Speaker 1: always the most disgusting, smelly, like unappetizing things that are
Speaker 1: like this will really turn you on. They're like otherwise
Speaker 1: it's trash. I've got to make it as a sex
Speaker 1: or something. Just do tend push ups today. You know,
Speaker 1: well there's a lot and they're like, no, I don't
Speaker 1: have time. It's going down in the next room. Just
Speaker 1: give me the goat, give me the goat cock ring.
Speaker 1: Now you're right to. I mean, like, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think I love oysters, but they're obviously really unappetising. It
Speaker 1: was it was Hemingway said something like was very brave
Speaker 1: was the man who first ate an oyster? You know,
Speaker 1: like that's meant meant to be an effort. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: acquired taste, for sure. I do don't know about that.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I eat an oyster. I mean like,
Speaker 1: and I don't know they think about garlic too, but
Speaker 1: that's another one. I'm like, does anyone eat a bunch
Speaker 1: of garlic and go yes? I can't want to mash
Speaker 1: my mouth up against hers. I smelled you across the room,
Speaker 1: and I knew it was a cloud. So you know,
Speaker 1: I'm a big believer in being honest and transparent about learning,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go out and say it. I don't
Speaker 1: care if I embarrassed myself. I not know that goat
Speaker 1: eyelash cockerings were a thing I must have. I must
Speaker 1: have missed that day. M p and I apologize to everyone.
Speaker 1: It was a whole day of health class kept nudging you,
Speaker 1: but you were sound asleep. How would you fall asleep
Speaker 1: during that last stayed away for the etymology, but not this?
Speaker 1: So what we all? This also makes me think of
Speaker 1: um things that people have done, and this I do
Speaker 1: know about thinks people have done in pursuit of enhanced
Speaker 1: sexual pleasure. Uh, including what I would call minor surgery.
Speaker 1: Because guys, we can say this as dudes, We'll do
Speaker 1: a lot of crazy stuff if they think it gives
Speaker 1: them just an edge, just litch. Really you have this
Speaker 1: covered there. But like you know, I mean the Prince
Speaker 1: Albert literally was created by Prince Albert. You know, you
Speaker 1: know it's obviously a piercing yeah, through the the through
Speaker 1: the urethra, and out the bottom of the of the head.
Speaker 1: It's terrifying prospects, incredibly chainful, not worth it, but I
Speaker 1: guess it is for some I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't want to yunck anyone's um, but you know,
Speaker 1: these are some of the ones that you you found, Diane.
Speaker 1: I think are maybe a little more like impermanent, yes, fortunately,
Speaker 1: but still painful. I don't know, but yeah, there's this
Speaker 1: book called Woman and Historical Gynecological and Anthropological Compendium from
Speaker 1: and it's by Hermann Heinrich Ploss, Max Bartel's and Paul
Speaker 1: Bartels and they say that this goat eyelash cock ring
Speaker 1: thing may have originated in the Indonesian Islands and not
Speaker 1: in China, so that's a little bit in dispute. And
Speaker 1: they also noted from various tribes worldwide sex aids like
Speaker 1: inserting a brass wire into the penis or putting little
Speaker 1: goal old and silver beads under its head, all right,
Speaker 1: and then binding it up with a bit of bird
Speaker 1: down to tickle the sex partner at the same time. Okay, folks,
Speaker 1: I'm out. You wouldn't put a silver ball in your
Speaker 1: penis for me? No, no, I don't need to hesitate
Speaker 1: on that one. That's just a flat no. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's fair. I wouldn't ask it of you to be fair,
Speaker 1: thank you. Um. Yeah, so that was an option that
Speaker 1: you could do. Again, I think that's a ribbed for
Speaker 1: her pleasure thing, trying to make your dick more special,
Speaker 1: I guess, or something. I mean, sticking a brass why,
Speaker 1: I guess that's for rigidity that we're thinking, so you
Speaker 1: can kind of bend it into shapes like a paper
Speaker 1: clip animal. Oh oh wow, like a like a paper clip.
Speaker 1: I can see how that would be possible. But I'm
Speaker 1: having a tough time with the motivation, you know what
Speaker 1: exact Yes, I don't know. There might be some people
Speaker 1: out there with very fascinating little giraffes they've built out
Speaker 1: of their dicks. Well, I guess I'll look at a
Speaker 1: gallery of it, but not for long. Um, yeah, well
Speaker 1: I would. I would think also then that aside from
Speaker 1: those kind of traditions, we already see the idea of
Speaker 1: wanting to be associated with wealth like gold and silver,
Speaker 1: the beads, um, But what about did they ever move
Speaker 1: on from the goat eyelash thing? Like? How how much
Speaker 1: of history have I missed? I guess I'm asking was
Speaker 1: this was just like a thing that you knew about
Speaker 1: or like no, no, no, no no. I mean definitely
Speaker 1: I was aware that, like I think early condoms were
Speaker 1: made of sheep skin. But that's the that's the degree
Speaker 1: to which I was aware of using animal flesh on
Speaker 1: your member. Um. But then you know, then you get
Speaker 1: into what was this the Burmese bell Burmese bells. That's
Speaker 1: a kind of the next the next level of this, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is another really interesting one. And this one to
Speaker 1: be placed either inside the vagina prior to sex or
Speaker 1: in the penis um. I guess it was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very good for your vaginal health. Um. But they
Speaker 1: were called exertion bell or Burmese bells. And this again
Speaker 1: we're in the Ming dynasty, so this is a lot
Speaker 1: of ancient Chinese, uh sex aids, I guess. And they
Speaker 1: were kind of copper or gold bell or ball shaped
Speaker 1: objects that contained the sperm of a mythical Burmese bird
Speaker 1: and apparently had to catch the sperm with like a
Speaker 1: fake woman made of straw. There's like a whole, yeah,
Speaker 1: a whole complicated process to getting this sperm. And the
Speaker 1: Ching scholar Chao E describes holding one of these in
Speaker 1: his hand and he said, quote, I found that as
Speaker 1: soon as it had become a little warm, it started
Speaker 1: to move on its own account, and a tiny sound
Speaker 1: emanated from it as and as I put it back
Speaker 1: on the table, the sound ceased. Oh god, I hope
Speaker 1: the sound was like, oh, that would be fun. It
Speaker 1: was like, I know what you're about to do. But
Speaker 1: that was the one like the bees where I was like,
Speaker 1: if something starts to jump around and make its own noise,
Speaker 1: I feel like I would not put it inside my body. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I didn't go there, Ben, I was immediately just thought
Speaker 1: this sperm is haunted sperm man, which some people would
Speaker 1: be into. It's true. Hey, I think we've done them
Speaker 1: on this very show, or we will we will yeah. Um, well,
Speaker 1: Ben and Nol, we have taken a good bit of
Speaker 1: your time today and we're so excited that you were
Speaker 1: able to come out and join us. Uh and an
Speaker 1: absolute pleasure. There's so much more, There's so much more
Speaker 1: to talk about, and we're very excited you guys are
Speaker 1: going to come back and join us again for the
Speaker 1: next episode. We're going to be getting into uh, sex
Speaker 1: dolls and where they came from, the chastity Belt and
Speaker 1: the myths around it, um and and more lots of
Speaker 1: fun stuff. Um. We didn't even get to take you
Speaker 1: guys to Speculation Station yet, but we will. Well, we
Speaker 1: kind of went into Speculation Station a few times without everything.
Speaker 1: That's okay, But again, thank you so much for coming
Speaker 1: on the show. Do you want to tell everybody you know,
Speaker 1: any listeners we have that I don't know you guys
Speaker 1: know where to find you? Yeah? Yeah, First off, I
Speaker 1: think we're I think we're both thrilled to hear that
Speaker 1: we get a second date with Ridiculous Romance. Things are
Speaker 1: moving kind of quickly and we're into it. We know
Speaker 1: about the coat, eyelash rings about Yeah, we know about
Speaker 1: there we go. Yeah, if you want to, If you
Speaker 1: want to hear uh Noel and me on our show
Speaker 1: Ridiculous History, which we do twice a week, you can
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Speaker 1: Ridiculous Romance. You can also follow us on social media,
Speaker 1: not just as a show, but as individuals in that
Speaker 1: right now. Oh yeah, it's so right, so right. You
Speaker 1: can follow me exclusively on Instagram where I'm at how now,
Speaker 1: Noel Brown Sabolan, Where might are the gentle people of
Speaker 1: the Ridiculous Universe find you? Yes, since the name signore
Speaker 1: Dildo was already taken on social media, I am at
Speaker 1: Ben Bowling hs W on Twitter, you can just you
Speaker 1: can find me at a sixty nine to slap a
Speaker 1: sixty nine that was the first one taken Noel. You
Speaker 1: can also see People can also get a behind the
Speaker 1: scenes peak at some of this stuff we're working on
Speaker 1: for various shows by checking out my Instagram handle, where
Speaker 1: I am an abburse of creativity at Ben Bowling. Really
Speaker 1: really like that your your early adopter the internet. Uh
Speaker 1: and yeah, y'all, don't forget to reach out to the show.
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Speaker 1: You can find us Romance at iHeart media dot com
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Speaker 1: will be back. We'll be getting enough more of all
Speaker 1: this crazy ship crazy ship. All right, all, thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, job see you next time. Right, So long, friends,
Speaker 1: it's time to go. Thanks so listening to our show.
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