1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome 2 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: back to the show Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always 3 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: so much for tuning in. Today we bring you the 4 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: story of the whoopee cushion Emperor who did a lot 5 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: more than that anyway. My name is Ben. Yeah, Ben 6 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: no here, he did a lot of stuff. And you 7 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: know what, there's one thing that I think we can 8 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:48,480 Speaker 1: both agree on is we love a good corrupt, decadent 9 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,880 Speaker 1: Roman emperor story m for the podcast. Now, of course, 10 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: going into this, we do have to establish that um 11 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: with powerful figure of old, especially for some reason Roman 12 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: emperors and maybe popes. Whenever you hear their stories, especially 13 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: past a certain historic threshold, you have to assume that 14 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: there's some exaggeration, a little bit of the equivalent of 15 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:19,039 Speaker 1: tabloid writing in the mix there. But just just from 16 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: the jump, uh, we we do have to say take 17 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: some of this with a pillar of salt. But we 18 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: had a lot of fun Telly Now our super producer 19 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: Casey pegram some of the highlights of this guy's career 20 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,199 Speaker 1: before we even recorded. Yeah, we did. You know, there's 21 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: there's no nipping Mennos in this one. And if if 22 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:42,680 Speaker 1: you'll recall that from ridiculous histories of your who's that 23 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: what what what? What? Decadent emperor had the nipping mennos, 24 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 1: with the the castrated young boys that would pretend to 25 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: be little fishies nipping at his heels, and the bathing pools. Um. This, 26 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: there is decadence of that caliber in this story, but 27 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: this one is almost more about what the greater Roman 28 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: population might consider uh heresy or sacrilege. Right, this is 29 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: how this emperor really put It wasn't the decadence or 30 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,639 Speaker 1: the hedonism or the orgyistic behavior. It was really kind 31 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: of just dissing their pantheon. Yeah, that earlier, the Nippi 32 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: minnows guy that you just mentioned, old that was tiberious, Yes, yes, uh, 33 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: and he did other things. I think that's just what 34 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: we latched onto because it was so raunchy and so weird. Uh. 35 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: Today's story is about an emperor, a heretic, a problem child. 36 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 1: If anybody recalls that film franchise, especially these early days, 37 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: who is known most commonly today as Ella Gabalus, which 38 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: is love him or hate Um. That's just a fun 39 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: name to say, Ella Gabolus. It sounds like a spell. 40 00:02:56,639 --> 00:03:04,079 Speaker 1: Ella Gabalus. Is hella fabulous a name? Uh, it's a 41 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: name that was I love. I love the idea of 42 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: giving yourself a name, right, um, and that that is 43 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 1: what this uh, this young man did. His official name 44 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: was a little less sexy, if very convoluted. It was 45 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: Caesar Marcus Aurelius and to Ninus Augustus, which was a 46 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 1: political choice as well. It was kind of it was 47 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: meant to tie him into uh, legitimacy and public eye, 48 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: which is which is a cool thing that you can't 49 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: get away with. Is often today, like popes choose their names. 50 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: But uh, you know, podcasters spoiler alert, podcasters can't just 51 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: go out and say, well, my name is uh Karen 52 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: kill Graf, Maren Glass, Marsupial, I don't know Marsupial, but 53 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: you know I'll back you up, yes, And I just 54 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: want I just want to I just think Marsupial sounds 55 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: like a Roman name. I would love to see that 56 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: used more. And and uh in naming culture, I guess. 57 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: And maybe when I say he gave himself the name 58 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: uh Ella Gabolus, that's not quite right. It was largely 59 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: kind of a nickname, I guess because his real name 60 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:22,039 Speaker 1: or his official name was so convoluted and confusing and 61 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: easy to construe with other you know, because every single 62 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: one of these Caesar, Marcus, Aurelius, Antoninus, Augustus were all 63 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 1: other huge figures that loomed large in Roman political culture. 64 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: In fact, I believe ben he was referred to often 65 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: by detractors as the faults Antoninas or fake Antoninus. Yes, 66 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 1: you are correct, and the name Marcus really a severus, 67 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: and Deninus was the identical name of an earlier imper 68 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: name now known as Caracalla, so they changed. People only 69 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: referred to Ella Gabolus as Ellie Gables after his death. 70 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, He's not with us today. Uh, And that 71 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: was probably that was probably to differentiate him from this 72 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: other guy who was like three emperors before him, who 73 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: had the exact same name. So totally understand that. And 74 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: what I was I kind of stepped on my own 75 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: story there. What I was getting out was the name 76 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 1: Ella Gabbles came from the fact that his mother, Uh, Julia, 77 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna shart my best at this, so m E 78 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: S s O A E M I A S so am. Yes, 79 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, but you know whatever, correct me if 80 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: I'm wrong, folks. Uh. This part of his family came 81 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:47,840 Speaker 1: from Syria and worshiped a particular son deity by the 82 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: name of Ella Gubbaal, which to me just sounds like 83 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: something out of Dune. Obviously Dune probably took a lot 84 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: of inspiration from this part of the world. Um. And 85 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: it was yes, an em a scene son god uh. 86 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: And he as a youth was what's called a hereditary 87 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 1: priest of this god. And this is something that's gonna 88 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 1: follow him that he's gonna really double down on when 89 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: he starts getting into Roman politics. Absolutely, yeah. And this 90 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 1: was you could tell from the title, folks, hereditary priesthood 91 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,679 Speaker 1: means that he was able to get this position due 92 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: to the family of his mother, Julius so Amias. His 93 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 1: maternal grandmother, Julia Mesa, was also involved with this, and 94 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 1: she was the elder sister of one Juliet Domna, who 95 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: is the wife of Septimius Severus uh, the Emperor of Rome, 96 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: founder of the Severn dynasty. Lot of Julius. Here, a 97 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 1: lot of Julia's people were like you know, you find 98 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,679 Speaker 1: people back then treated names the way Bernie Sanders treats coats. 99 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: You find one good one, you keep the good one. Uh. 100 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,600 Speaker 1: So the guy we call Elligaballas today was born around 101 00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: two oh three c e. In as he said, no, 102 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: in Syria, uh, the city that's today known as Halms. 103 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: This gives us some weird perspective. First off, the way 104 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: he gets to become emperor is super sketchy. It's a 105 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: great story, but I want to plan a seed for 106 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: a little bit of perspective. So recently here in the US, 107 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: the new president was elected. That president is Joe Biden, 108 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: and Joe Biden is the only the second Catholic ever 109 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 1: elected to the office of the presidency, uh in the 110 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: history of this country. The other one was JFK. I 111 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: thank there. Our country's gone. I would like to say 112 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: progressed a bit such that it's not a huge deal 113 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: or controversial, but we'll see how religion and religious affiliation 114 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: plays a huge role in the real controversy surrounding Ella Gables, 115 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: Like people were calling him this, you know, this false emperor. 116 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: Uh for a number of reasons. His bedside manner didn't help. 117 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 1: So he's he's got he's set up for success. You know, 118 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: he's born it into the upper echelons. He's part of 119 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: the priesthood class. He's got some connects with the ruling dynasty. Uh. 120 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: The Severing dynasty was from one ninety three to about 121 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 1: two thirty five CES, So he's born during this dynasty 122 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: and he has a connect with him. Uh. His mom 123 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: and his maternal grandmother, both Julia's, were crucial. UH. Probably 124 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 1: the puppeteers behind the scheme to raise him to the 125 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: throne of Rome. And as we see often occurring in 126 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: ancient monarchies, they there's a good argument that they were 127 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: pretty much in control of the empire, especially when Eliga 128 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: Ballast was in his younger days. Wouldn't you say? I 129 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,559 Speaker 1: would say that bad, and I gotta get it out 130 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: of my system real quick before we progressed too far. 131 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: Whenever I hear the words severing or severus, the first 132 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: thing I think of is the Velvet Underground song Venus 133 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: and first uh and the lyric go severing severance speaks 134 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: us slightly severing down on your bended knee, taste the 135 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 1: whip in love not given lightly. Taste the whip now 136 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: bleed for me. So I mean, obviously this is a 137 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: reference to that kind of s and m hedonism of 138 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: this particular era of Roman culture. I mean, it's he's 139 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 1: spread throughout, we see it, but the particularly kind of 140 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: kinky behavior. And I mean the name of the song 141 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: is Venus in first. After all, well, let me let 142 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: me get this out of my system that I'm gonna 143 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: only reference at once. The whole time I was reading 144 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 1: and researching the Severest dynasty, here, I was just picturing 145 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: snape from Harry Potter, also a thing bore and again 146 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: and again just using a different name, or he wouldn't 147 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: even have to in Rome, because apparently people didn't use 148 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: different names that you just got posthumous nicknames. It's very 149 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: interesting way of going about things, and also makes for 150 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: very confusing timelines because we see, you know, even within 151 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: the same era, all of these same names popping up 152 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: over and over again, so and and and and the 153 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: The story that we're to about how uh Ela Gabiles 154 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: became emperor is in and of itself, like you said, Ben, 155 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,959 Speaker 1: super shady, but also very complex and convoluted. So we're 156 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: gonna do our best to kind of maybe fast track 157 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: it and then get to the the hedonistic stuff, the 158 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:20,720 Speaker 1: juicy stuff. We know why you're listening, folks, Yeah, Yeah, 159 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: let's well, we'll go through this, uh will We may 160 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: have to make up our own nicknames for some of 161 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: the people, because again, this gets convoluted. Partially, I'd argue 162 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 1: because the names. It reminds me of that great Marques 163 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: novel One Years of Solitude, which just if you've read it, 164 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: you know one of the toughest parts is following all 165 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 1: these people with the same names. Anyway, here's what happens. Karacala, 166 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 1: the guy we mentioned earlier, uh, he is assassinated in 167 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: two seventeen BC. This death marks a kind of break, 168 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: a loss of power for the Severin dynasty, and the 169 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 1: next emperor, Macronus, is not a member of this family 170 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: associated with that previous dynasty. Macronus was set up well. 171 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 1: He was a praetorian prefect under Karakala. He's also the 172 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: guy who orchestrated the coup, killed the emperor, and then 173 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:17,000 Speaker 1: seized the throne, and he wanted to get rid of 174 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: anybody who might contest his rule, including people who were 175 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: members of the previous emperor's family, even if they were 176 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: kind of distant members. Because of that, he exiled Ella 177 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 1: Gabolus and his family back to their estate in Syria. 178 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 1: But it turns out that he may be Macronus maybe 179 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: underestimated just how badly the emperor's family wanted to return 180 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 1: to power. So why is Syria so involved in Roman politics? 181 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: I know that Rome like annexed a part of Syria 182 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: and then so I guess like like in sixty four BCS, 183 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: so that would have been long before this period. So 184 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,440 Speaker 1: I guess they just kind of became intertwined. So there 185 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: could have been like Syrian families because of that relationship, 186 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: that that moved up in the pecking order. Yeah, it's 187 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: like it's it was a important province of the empire. 188 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: So it definitely was part of the Empire. It was 189 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: just also considered like because of the way assimilation works, 190 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: they're they're probably considered a little bit culturally different. The 191 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,720 Speaker 1: thing is, uh mccrinus sort of made a fatal error 192 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: when he underestimated, uh the I guess the staying power 193 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:41,079 Speaker 1: that the Severin dynasty had and how much the family 194 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: of Karcala really, really really did not want to give 195 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: up that power once they've gotten to taste of it. 196 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it would be a hard self 197 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: for anyone if you've been used to being the family 198 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: of literally the emperor to all of a sudden, Oh 199 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: there's a coup, and now your life is completely different. 200 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 1: But often I think fear or just self preservation would 201 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,839 Speaker 1: take over, but in this case what took over was 202 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: a desire to take back the throne clawed back in fact. 203 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 1: So Julia Misia uh mesa, let's say um was the 204 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: sister in law to Septimus Severus. Okay, this is where 205 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: it gets a look confusing. Also was grandmother to eligabalas Um. 206 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 1: And she was very, very very gifted at conniving and um, 207 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: you know, making moves behind closed doors and double crossing 208 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:39,959 Speaker 1: and every flavor of uh today almost consider like espionage, 209 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,680 Speaker 1: but it's really just political maneuvering. So she decided she 210 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: was gonna make it her goal above all else to 211 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: get her family back on the throne. So she and 212 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 1: her two daughters, uh the other two Julia's Julius Simias 213 00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:00,440 Speaker 1: and Julia Mamia Mamia Um, they were going to work 214 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 1: together and conspire to destroy mcnus. I'm just I'm just 215 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: laughing because as soon as we got to the other 216 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:13,839 Speaker 1: Julia Baba Mia, in my head, it's just my mommy 217 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: and it'd be cool. So yeah, so she said, okay, well, 218 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 1: let's get rid of this Macronus guy. He's a dirt bag, 219 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: he's a pill. I've got an idea. I've got a 220 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: pitch for you. Let's keep it in the family. How 221 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: about my grandson, Ella Gabolus. He's he's legitimate, and we 222 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 1: can strengthen his claim to the throne with a little 223 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: bit of a story. You know, someone told me, a 224 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 1: little bird told me I heard through the grapevine word 225 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: on the street, that Ella Gabolus is actually the illegitimate 226 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 1: son of Cara Colla, the emperor who got assassinated. And 227 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: it's weird because Ella Gableus did look like he resembled 228 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 1: Caro call if you saw their faces together, you could, 229 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,360 Speaker 1: you know, you could see it. But he was, in 230 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 1: fact just a cousin of that emperor. Still at this time, 231 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 1: his fortunes are looking good because while they're in exile 232 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 1: in Syria, he's inherited his family position as high priest, 233 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: and he was currently worshiping that sun god we mentioned earlier, 234 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: Ella Gabal, the god of the Mountain, the stone god 235 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: of the Mountain, in his home city of Syria. And 236 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: it gets a little love craft, dude, which is super cool. 237 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: We'll get into it. So this god from what we 238 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: call Roman Syria, the worship of this Eli gabal This 239 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: was a widespread cult in the Empire in the second century, 240 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 1: and the religion was eventually kind of assimilated into Helios, 241 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: the Roman sun god. And that's why one of Helios's 242 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: street names was Helio Gabblus, which is a variant of 243 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: Eli Gabalus, which eventually became this emperor's posthumous nickname. That 244 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: was a lot, but I think we got there. So 245 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 1: I think we got there. It does make sense. Um. 246 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 1: And again, if anybody is more into the minutia of 247 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: this power struggle, there's certainly materials out there if you 248 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: check out. We're doing our best to get through it, um. 249 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: But there you know, if you want to, if that's 250 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: the part that that really interests you, highly recommend this 251 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 1: National geographic piece from Juan Pablo Sanchez, published in March 252 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 1: of twenty nineteen. Uh. And there's again tons of other mania. 253 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 1: There's also a really good YouTube video that I found. 254 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: It's about a half an hour and talks a lot 255 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 1: about struggle. That's the right, that's the way yeah, I 256 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: dig that one. I take that one. It's a it's 257 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: part of a series on the ten Most Evil Robe 258 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 1: exactly well narrated, lots of good imagery. Highly recommend that one. 259 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: Live footage, live footage, yeah, re enactments of orgies No, 260 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: not quite but close. Um. But you know it's interesting 261 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: in general, how Rome always in Okay, so let's look 262 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: at Greek and Roman religious pampeons. How there's always kind 263 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: of like a like a um analog god, you know 264 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: what I mean, between the two cultures. And because Rome 265 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: conquered so many different Um cultures, they assimilated a lot 266 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 1: of different religions, so they're like, well you don't need 267 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 1: you know, la goball you've got who has it been? Helios? Helios? Right? 268 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: But that wasn't doing it for Eli Gabalis, was it? No? 269 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 1: Not at all. I mean, religious syncretism is a huge 270 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: tool of empires because it's it's super effective, which I 271 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 1: feel like I excellent quoted a video game there. But 272 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,679 Speaker 1: you're right, Eliablus wasn't having it. Uh. He said, you know, 273 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: I'm the high priest of this I kind of know 274 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: what I'm talking about, guys. Uh. And it's it's not 275 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: not the same thing anyway. Uh. The Roman government initially 276 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 1: supported Macronus because Macronus is the ruling emperor and he 277 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: kills people to take their thrones. So when Macronus said 278 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: this like Ablis kid is an idiot, he's a real 279 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 1: piece of work, not hell of fabulous at all. No, no, 280 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: the opposite. Uh. He started calling him the false Antoninus, 281 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: and he said, look, I am well aware of this kid, 282 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 1: and he is insane. You do not want him in power, 283 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: which would later actually turn out to be the case. 284 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,680 Speaker 1: So the senate listened to their emperor and they said, 285 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:31,120 Speaker 1: you know what, good point, Emperor. We're going to declare 286 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 1: war on this guy and his mom. However, mom she 287 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,640 Speaker 1: has a plan. They say, we're going to declare war 288 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: on this guy and his grandmother. But the grandmother has 289 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 1: a plan. She's not gonna let people dissuade her from 290 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 1: her scheme to get her grandson on the throne. So 291 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: she goes to the Roman troops stationed in Syria, the 292 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:58,880 Speaker 1: third Legion, and she bribes them into supporting her her cause, 293 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,159 Speaker 1: and the kind of this kind of hamstrings Macronus his 294 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: forces in the area. She bought out the troops that 295 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 1: he was going to use basically, Yeah, and with that 296 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:15,600 Speaker 1: support and with this uh, you know, seemingly legit you know, 297 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: severing pedigree, right, Ella Gabalus was presented to the centurion 298 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 1: Publius Valerious Camazan and his troops, um, and he was 299 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: he was convinced he was good. So the military essentially, uh, 300 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 1: decreed that he was the new emperor of Rome. Was 301 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: that about government ben Yeah, that gets us there, So 302 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 1: they says new and berg Rome. Other legions in the 303 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 1: east follow with their own recognition. So now the empire 304 00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:02,159 Speaker 1: is in an unstable state. Uh no pun intended, meaning 305 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: that there there are two people claiming to be the emperor. Uh. 306 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 1: Ellie Gablis had a tutor, a eunuch named Gannies, who 307 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: later became a general, and Gannies would go on to 308 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:18,360 Speaker 1: defeat Macronus in Antioch and modern day Turkey just like 309 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 1: not even a month later. So Marinus is defeated and 310 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: he flees on June eighteen CE. Uh. He is executed 311 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: at Cappadocia. They also catch his son and kill his son, 312 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 1: and so Ellie Gables declares his victory to be the 313 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 1: beginning of his reign as the Emperor of Rome. He 314 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,719 Speaker 1: is fifteen years old. He takes all the titles uh, 315 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,920 Speaker 1: and then he goes instantly into diplomacy where his mother 316 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:53,120 Speaker 1: and grandmother do because he sends these letters, uh, these 317 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: like let's bury the hatchet letters to the Senate in Rome. 318 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,719 Speaker 1: And the way that these letters are raised, from what 319 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,439 Speaker 1: we can tell, uh, is very much like, hey, you 320 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 1: can you can get with the times, you can ride 321 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,640 Speaker 1: the wave with me, or you can drown when it crashes. 322 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: So the senators knew they were getting an offer they 323 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: couldn't refuse. It was kind of gangster, uh, So they 324 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,959 Speaker 1: went along with it and boomed. The Severeign dynasty is 325 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: back in play. But pretty quickly as they're traveling to Rome, 326 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,440 Speaker 1: we start to see some unusual behavior on the part 327 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 1: of the new emperor. Yeah, well we might call historical 328 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: weird flexes, but not nothing like two out of the ordinary. 329 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,879 Speaker 1: I mean, he he liked fine clothing. He would drape 330 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 1: himself in the finest purple raiments embroidered with golden what 331 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 1: he ca coutrement. You know, he was like basically iced up, 332 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: you know, wearing heavy necklaces and bracelets adorned with the 333 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 1: finest of precious jewels and metals, and uh, he even 334 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,680 Speaker 1: gave him he found himself. Um. And also like like 335 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: this is a letter from reading this, maybe I'm a 336 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,959 Speaker 1: little confused about the imagery here, but it makes it 337 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: sound like he was wearing a crown uh and a tiara. 338 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 1: He was just he was an extra tag extra Yeah, 339 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: golden jewels, all that stuff. Uh. And he had like 340 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 1: a crew following him around that would accompany his every 341 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,880 Speaker 1: move with flutes and fifes and drums and all that. Um. 342 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 1: And he was just constantly like strutting around and like 343 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 1: really being very performative with his with his behavior. Uh. 344 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 1: And he would openly participate in these orgiastic let's call 345 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: them services or rituals uh in you know, devotion to 346 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 1: his god uh elagaba right right in service of this religion. 347 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: So he's he's yeah, he could be consider a bit 348 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,920 Speaker 1: of a peacock, a bit vain, a bit uh stretched forward. 349 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: He was accused in later historical writings of living in 350 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 1: a quote debraved manner, engaging in a natural vice with dudes. 351 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 1: We all know what that means. Uh. The troops who 352 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 1: were stationed nearby, we're kind of digging it. They were like, 353 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,720 Speaker 1: this is a great show. You know, this is before 354 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: Circus l A. This is the best they could get, right, 355 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,919 Speaker 1: So they're like, this is this is a heck of 356 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,239 Speaker 1: a show. So they would travel to his temple and 357 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,679 Speaker 1: watch him do his priestly duties, and they were just 358 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: taken in by the spectacle of it. Uh. But but 359 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,439 Speaker 1: that that was all before he was the emperor. He 360 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,880 Speaker 1: was just an exiled person at that time. Now that 361 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,360 Speaker 1: he is the dude in charge of the Roman Empire, 362 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 1: the soldiers are less and less impressed, and according to 363 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 1: a work called the Historia Augusta, the soldiers soon began 364 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 1: to regret that they conspired against Macronus in the beginning, 365 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: and they were starting to think, I don't know, is 366 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: this kid really going to be a good emperor. And 367 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 1: the soldiers weren't the only ones worried. Old even Elli 368 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:17,600 Speaker 1: Gabolus's grandmother, who was largely responsible for this scheme, started 369 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,679 Speaker 1: to think, I don't know if my grandson, you know, 370 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: I love him to death Alcobal bless him. I don't 371 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,199 Speaker 1: know if my grandson is fit to be emperor. He's uh, 372 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,200 Speaker 1: he's being a little out there. He really did seem 373 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,640 Speaker 1: a little out there. And there are some accounts from 374 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 1: various historians and firsthand observers of this behavior, one of 375 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 1: whom was Herodian, who wrote that Julia Mesa, the grandmother 376 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 1: in question here, was quote greatly disturbed and tried again 377 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,159 Speaker 1: and again to persuade the youth to wear Roman dress 378 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 1: when he entered the city to visit the Senate Um, 379 00:24:55,200 --> 00:25:00,359 Speaker 1: fearing that his appearance, obviously foreign and holy barbed barrack, 380 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: would offend those who saw him. So again like that, 381 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 1: not only are these these outfits that he's flexing, you know, 382 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,160 Speaker 1: super extra and ostentatious and over the top, they represent 383 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: a completely different culture. And there is kind of a 384 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 1: need in this situation if you're coming from a different culture, uh, 385 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 1: to at least give the appearance of you know, respect 386 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,439 Speaker 1: or not. Maybe not full assimilation, but certainly not just 387 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: outright flouting of the culture that you're coming into. Right, Yeah, 388 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: absolutely think about it this way. So there's there's already 389 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:39,400 Speaker 1: been great instability. When you the average Roman citizens see 390 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 1: your new emperor, you want to think that Emperor, hey, 391 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 1: they look Roman. They look like someone I could sit 392 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 1: down and have a couple of wine with uh, and 393 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: they look like someone who would be a Roman emperor, 394 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 1: and they act that way too, as low as the 395 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: bar is for well behaving emperors. If this person looks different, 396 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: if they as though they are from a foreign culture 397 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,160 Speaker 1: than the average Roman citizen and the average Roman soldier 398 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: and the average Senate member, may feel on some level 399 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,199 Speaker 1: less like members of the Roman Empire, more like members 400 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 1: of an occupied state, you know what I mean. There's 401 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 1: there's a lot to be said for this. Now, these 402 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:23,160 Speaker 1: things are all happening, This kind of soup is stirring 403 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 1: and simmering. The party arrives in Rome, and when they 404 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 1: get to Rome, a lot of people who remained loyal 405 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 1: to Macronus are executed the way Macronus and his son 406 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,040 Speaker 1: were killed, and a lot of people in the Senate 407 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,359 Speaker 1: are left alone. They already got those letters of amnesty 408 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 1: and reconciliation. However, other high ranking imperial officers whose loyalty 409 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 1: was in question, they were at the very least dismissed, 410 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:55,600 Speaker 1: and then they were just so ridiculous. They were replaced 411 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 1: by goons from Syria, people that just like the the 412 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:04,120 Speaker 1: grand mother and the kid liked them, and Ellie Gabolus 413 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: again he's a teenager. He's ignoring most of like the 414 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: day to day job of being an emperor, the details, 415 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,920 Speaker 1: the decisions. UH, this is left up to his mother 416 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: and his grandmother, who become the first women who are 417 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: given permission to attend the Roman Senate, and they're even 418 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 1: given senatorial positions. So we'll we'll see this pattern. I 419 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,479 Speaker 1: would argue that his mother and his grandmother were probably 420 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 1: well qualified to be in the Senate, but we see 421 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 1: this pattern of this emperor hiring unqualified people for very 422 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:44,680 Speaker 1: important positions. And you know, long story short. The way 423 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,959 Speaker 1: they write it in UH and an article by history 424 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,240 Speaker 1: things is this it could only go downhill from there. 425 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 1: It's not a it's not an exaggeration because as soon 426 00:27:55,720 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 1: as this guy is in Rome emperoring full time, he's 427 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 1: just he's a wash and controversy. It's one thing after 428 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 1: the other. It's always something with Ella Gabilus, that's right, 429 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: because it seems that more important to him, uh than 430 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 1: the idea of being the emperor of Rome was what 431 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 1: we talked about at the very beginning of the episode. 432 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 1: This identity that was very important to him as being 433 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 1: the high priest of Ella gabal Um, it was you know, 434 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: the emperor stuff wasn't that much importance to him. Uh, 435 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 1: it wasn't really something that was top of mind. Um 436 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: so and and and yet he is at the pinnacle 437 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 1: of power in Rome and in this position where he 438 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 1: can essentially do what he wants. I mean, obviously we 439 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 1: know that, uh, this can have really gnarly implications over time. 440 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 1: But you know, it's hard to convince somebody who has 441 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 1: absolute power that they are going to be their own 442 00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 1: undoing right. Yeah, it's not something that they want to hear, 443 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: you know. And the thing is, in social environments like this, Uh, 444 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:12,480 Speaker 1: syncophants have the advantage the yes folk will tend to 445 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: win the emperor's opinion. So something happens almost immediately that 446 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 1: scandalizes the population, from members of Senate to just the 447 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: average Jewish and Christian people living in the empire. As 448 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: you said, no, Ali Gablus feels I guess the best 449 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,680 Speaker 1: way to say it is he feels like a high 450 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 1: priest who later became emperor but is still a priest. 451 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 1: And so he says, away with the old religions. We're 452 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: going to replace the old traditional religion of Rome in 453 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:49,520 Speaker 1: a large part stolen from the Greeks with this other 454 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: religion that I'm a high priest of the worship of 455 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 1: Ella gabal This Syrian god is even going to replace Jupiter, 456 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: the the primary god of Roman mythology. And so to 457 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 1: do this, this is what I feel like his love 458 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 1: crafty And I might just be reading tea leaves here, 459 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,520 Speaker 1: or you know what, I just love horror stories. Anyway, 460 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: to to do this, to make this official in his mind, 461 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:21,479 Speaker 1: Eli Gablus has a stone brought from Syria nearly two 462 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 1: thousand miles to Rome. It's a symbol of his religion. 463 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 1: It's a black, conical shaped rock that may have been 464 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: a meteorite, and he installs it on the Palatine Hill, 465 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: which is a you know, a prestigious place, so it's 466 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 1: clearly visible. This is where we introduce Cassius Dio. Cassius 467 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: Dio writes a thing called Roman History. He is one 468 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 1: of the people who has on written record called the 469 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 1: simper the false Antoninus Uh. And what what did he 470 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: have to say about? Oh, quite a bit, Ben, quite 471 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 1: a bit he had. He had some pretty early historical 472 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:05,959 Speaker 1: hot takes to offer um. He said of the false 473 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:11,120 Speaker 1: Antoninus Uh. The offense consisted not in his introducing a 474 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 1: foreign god into Rome, okay, or in his exulting in 475 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:20,400 Speaker 1: very strange ways, but in his placing him even before 476 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,959 Speaker 1: Jupiter himself and causing himself to be voted his priest. 477 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 1: So just just to take a pause here, he's essentially 478 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: saying that he was trying to subplant, uh, the popular religion, 479 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 1: you know, which was was very very important to to 480 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: to the Roman people and to the Yeah, that's the 481 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 1: important part here. It's important to the Roman people. I mean, 482 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 1: you could argue that in the same way religion is 483 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 1: used as a political tool in America today or in 484 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,280 Speaker 1: in just you know, geo political affairs. Uh, in Rome 485 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 1: likely you know, sure, there are some true believers in 486 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,719 Speaker 1: the Senate and and in politics, but it was largely 487 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 1: a tool to really control people. And when you turn 488 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: the people against you, that's going to cause some problems. Okay. 489 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 1: So not only did he supplant the popular religion of choice, 490 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: he also made himself like the head of it. It's 491 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,080 Speaker 1: like appointing yourself the pope of a religion that nobody 492 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,480 Speaker 1: wants anything to do with. Um. Furthermore, this is back 493 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 1: to Cassius Dio. He was frequently seen even in public, 494 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: clad in the barbaric dress which the Syrian priests used, 495 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: And this had as much to do as anything with 496 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 1: his receiving the nickname the Assyrian. Long story short, Ella 497 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: Gabolist does not care. He builds a temple called the 498 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: Elligaballium to this, to this god, on that same hill 499 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 1: where the stone now rest. He continues the schedule of 500 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 1: sacrifices to the stone and the god cows and sheep. 501 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,640 Speaker 1: For sure. Some of the more sensationally counsel alleged that 502 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 1: humans were sacrificed in honor of this god of the mountain, 503 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 1: and wine was mixed with blood from the sacrifice is 504 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 1: poured out as offerings. Apparently he didn't respect any other 505 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 1: religious movement other, you know, aside from his own. Because 506 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 1: he's the high priest. It's good to be king, high 507 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,240 Speaker 1: priest and emperor. You're like double king. That's amazing. So 508 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 1: imagine the equivalent of pr agency, his his supporters, his 509 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 1: real masters, the mom and the grandmother. Like Okay, we 510 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 1: gotta do something, we gotta manage the public image. Let's 511 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: get married to a respectable family or families. That's right. Uh, 512 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,680 Speaker 1: this is like a political maneuver like a diplomatic kind 513 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,960 Speaker 1: of play. Let's say. Uh. He would ultimately go on 514 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 1: to have three wives, uh, one of which was a 515 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: Julia Julia Paula uh Annia Faustina, and Aquilia Severa um. 516 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 1: And the last of those, Aquilia Severa, was a particularly 517 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,400 Speaker 1: contentious one in terms of the way it was received 518 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 1: by the public because she was known as what was 519 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,240 Speaker 1: called a vestal virgin, which ben is a term that 520 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,440 Speaker 1: I think we we were here thrown around sort of 521 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: in like colloquial, could be thrown around like colloquially, but 522 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:17,399 Speaker 1: it was absolutely like a thing, right, like a particularly 523 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: high um. Not don't necessarily, but it was yeah, sacred 524 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 1: almost right, Yeah, absolutely So the vessel virgins were consecrated 525 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:33,239 Speaker 1: to Vesta. Part of their consecration involved a vow of chastity, 526 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 1: and their job was to keep the sacred fire burning 527 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,279 Speaker 1: at the goddesses alter vessel virgins. By the way, we 528 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 1: don't do comic book recommendations where we used to. Vessel 529 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 1: virgins appear in a great comic series called Britannia, which 530 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 1: I recommend checking out. It's uh, no spoilers, it's a 531 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:57,120 Speaker 1: nero is in this one not uh Elagabolos, but who 532 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,839 Speaker 1: he deserves his own comic or his grandmother certainly does. 533 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,279 Speaker 1: But you're right, vessel virgins are real things. So in 534 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 1: attempting to assimilate further into Roman society and get approval 535 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 1: from the well to do Romans at the time, that 536 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,320 Speaker 1: he goes too far. And now he offends them even 537 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:23,120 Speaker 1: more because he's knocking up vestal virgins. And he says, uh, 538 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 1: he also doesn't care. He says, quote, there's nothing more 539 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,879 Speaker 1: appropriate than the marriage of a priest to a priestess. 540 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 1: He says this to the Senate, and then he also 541 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:37,239 Speaker 1: he also says they will have god like children. He's like, 542 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,400 Speaker 1: you don't understand where this is like a super soldier program. 543 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,239 Speaker 1: That's interesting, Ben, because I mean, I gotta wonder, like 544 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,879 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem to me that he's I think he's 545 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,359 Speaker 1: just a little bit clueless maybe and not like outright 546 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:51,839 Speaker 1: trying to piss people off. Like I really wonder if 547 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,320 Speaker 1: he is trying to, like, looking at this is almost 548 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,360 Speaker 1: a gesture of like joining my religion to your religion 549 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 1: and creating some sort of h ybread super deity that 550 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,120 Speaker 1: has the powers the superpowers of both you know what 551 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,839 Speaker 1: I mean, Yeah, that's it. I mean, that's a really good, 552 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 1: good point. Definitely there's arrogance in there. That's you know, 553 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 1: you're raised as a high priest, you become emperor. But 554 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:19,400 Speaker 1: it may be that he simply culturally did not understand, 555 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,080 Speaker 1: like he may not have been trying to purposely bait 556 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:32,520 Speaker 1: people or be a source of such controversy. He keeps going, 557 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:39,440 Speaker 1: and he's so extra. He has these elaborate processions where elephants, tigers, 558 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 1: and lions are pulling chariots up the Vatican Hill and 559 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:49,560 Speaker 1: they're trampling over these tombs that are in their way, 560 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,879 Speaker 1: so like they're going through this graveyard. And then he 561 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,800 Speaker 1: also he also has this weird kind of lottery system 562 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,560 Speaker 1: that he plays with giving away stuff. Uh. He likes 563 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 1: to go to the population, Like while he's presiding at 564 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 1: various games, he likes to go to the population and 565 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:12,200 Speaker 1: give them what he calls chances. They're essentially presents that 566 00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,920 Speaker 1: are completely arbitrarying up to him. Like one day he 567 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,239 Speaker 1: might throw a nice steak out in the crowd, or 568 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 1: hundreds of gold coins. And he did this because he 569 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:23,759 Speaker 1: liked to watch people run and scramble in the dirt 570 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,080 Speaker 1: for this stuff. But then another day he might just 571 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,239 Speaker 1: throw out a dead dog. You never know what you're 572 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,960 Speaker 1: gonna get on the La Gabolas show exactly. It really 573 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:36,719 Speaker 1: is kind of a weird twisted lotto. Um, did we 574 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 1: talk about the the next kind of big public or 575 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,759 Speaker 1: fuffle the divorce? Oh no we didn't, but yes, there 576 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 1: was a divorce. There were several divorces. Remember Paula, That 577 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 1: was Julia, Julia Paula. Uh. He divorced her claiming that 578 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 1: she had some kind of blemish on her body. Uh, 579 00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,319 Speaker 1: and that was his first wife. And in doing that, 580 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:05,879 Speaker 1: before the divorce was official, he uh basically moved in 581 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,520 Speaker 1: with Aquila severa Um. So that was against the law, 582 00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:13,120 Speaker 1: against Roman law and custom, and also because she was 583 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:17,399 Speaker 1: the one that was consecrated to vesta Um and he, 584 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 1: according to the account from Cassius Dio, impiously defiled her. Yes, yeah, 585 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:32,719 Speaker 1: impiously defiled. And in order to prevent further controversy, that 586 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,920 Speaker 1: marriage was also dissolved. So pictures prt history will tell 587 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,239 Speaker 1: you this guy had between three to five wives, so 588 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,200 Speaker 1: he was he was going through it, and he was 589 00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:48,960 Speaker 1: also doing stuff like throwing parties where he might serve 590 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:53,040 Speaker 1: fake food just for the lulls, like food made of 591 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 1: wax or marble or stone. And there's one story, unproven, unconfirmed, 592 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,839 Speaker 1: that says, once upon a time he threw so many 593 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,759 Speaker 1: flower pedals on his dinner guests that some of them 594 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 1: almost suffocated. But these are these are childish pranks. And 595 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,680 Speaker 1: there is a reason we called him the Whoopee cushion 596 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,640 Speaker 1: and berth at the top. Uh, there is stuff we 597 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 1: have to mention. Now, this may not be appropriate for 598 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,279 Speaker 1: all audiences. We're gonna maybe know I I proposed that 599 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,759 Speaker 1: maybe we veer away from stuff that might be too 600 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,960 Speaker 1: too graphic. Yeah for sure. Okay, but we have to 601 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:36,160 Speaker 1: talk about his reputation for being an absolute headonist for sure. 602 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,040 Speaker 1: You know, like I said, I was setting up for 603 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,280 Speaker 1: that at the top of the show with that underground quote, 604 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,759 Speaker 1: the whole taste of the whip situation. But his his 605 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,640 Speaker 1: stuff went even deeper than just your every day you 606 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:54,440 Speaker 1: know the kinks, right. Yeah, yeah, So he had he 607 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 1: had the street rep as a guy who just couldn't 608 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 1: control himself and didn't bother to. Uh. The Augustine History 609 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,799 Speaker 1: describes it as this quote. He had never had intercourse 610 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 1: with the same woman twice except his wife. And he 611 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,560 Speaker 1: opened brothels in his house for his friends, his clients, 612 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 1: and his slaves. On one occasion, he gathered all the 613 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: city's prostitutes in the forum and appeared before them in 614 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,839 Speaker 1: a woman's costume and with protruded bosom. And it's this 615 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,359 Speaker 1: that actually, uh, you know, and and and I think 616 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,359 Speaker 1: it was that YouTube video that that we we talked 617 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,440 Speaker 1: about Ben sort of credits him as being one of 618 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 1: the first trans people in history. Yes, yeah, we'll come 619 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,240 Speaker 1: to find out that. According to a couple of sources, uh, 620 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:45,919 Speaker 1: he once went to physicians and asked for surgery uh, 621 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:50,680 Speaker 1: and wanted them to construct female genitalium and his body. 622 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 1: And because this story is found in Cassius Dio and 623 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,839 Speaker 1: not the other two ancient sources, it's it's still up 624 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:05,640 Speaker 1: for debate. Uh. He also reportedly was attempted to become 625 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,880 Speaker 1: a unique priest of a sort a real this is 626 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,560 Speaker 1: a real thing called a gallus, but he was convinced 627 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:17,640 Speaker 1: to undergo just circumcision instead. So that you know, there's 628 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:22,920 Speaker 1: a lot culturally that doesn't quite translate. But to your point, yeah, 629 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,879 Speaker 1: there is something to this. People have argued this case 630 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:30,680 Speaker 1: about his gender identification. He was a sidemail at birth. 631 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:35,560 Speaker 1: But um, the language I think didn't really exist to 632 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:39,400 Speaker 1: describe this at the time. Um. Either way, Rome is 633 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:43,279 Speaker 1: just continually scandalized by this, Yes, and for sure. Uh. 634 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,520 Speaker 1: And what we're talking about here with this like forum 635 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 1: kind of event was it's essentially like a sexual Olympics, 636 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,439 Speaker 1: almost with him as the sole judge, right. Um. And 637 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:58,960 Speaker 1: there were charioteers and athletes and slaves that would participate 638 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,879 Speaker 1: in this and that would also attend to his individual 639 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:07,560 Speaker 1: private uh sexual needs. Um. And he became so fond 640 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:13,320 Speaker 1: of a particular charioteer named Heracles. Uh he started referring 641 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:16,800 Speaker 1: to him openly as his husband. UM. And he you 642 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,400 Speaker 1: know had a kind of a you know, a harom 643 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,839 Speaker 1: I guess of of lovers on the side. Like you said, Ben, 644 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,120 Speaker 1: he never claimed to never have sex with the same 645 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 1: person more than once, except for his wife. But it 646 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,319 Speaker 1: did seem like Heracles would have been uh in this 647 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:36,160 Speaker 1: smaller group of recurring UM lovers would have been you 648 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,000 Speaker 1: know a little bit different. But he you know, would 649 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:44,600 Speaker 1: gravitate towards those that were open to his particular kinks 650 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,840 Speaker 1: and and would allow him to kind of discover uh 651 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,719 Speaker 1: and push these boundaries right. Yeah, there's there's even this 652 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:58,680 Speaker 1: story that Elligabolos would deliberately put himself in situations where 653 00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:02,560 Speaker 1: he would be discovered sleeping with other people entirely in 654 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:07,760 Speaker 1: the hopes that his husband hero cles would quote unquote 655 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,680 Speaker 1: punish him. So so this very I agree, there's a 656 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,319 Speaker 1: little bit of kink to this so long story short, 657 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,839 Speaker 1: doesn't take much for all the people who are disapproving 658 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,520 Speaker 1: of this guy to start talking about him and saying, 659 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,520 Speaker 1: you know, he's unsuited for the role of emperor. He 660 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,840 Speaker 1: spends so much more time dancing around that gosh darn 661 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:32,480 Speaker 1: temple and buying exotic food and gold chamber pots. He 662 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,520 Speaker 1: doesn't like what what emperoren does this guy actually do 663 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:42,239 Speaker 1: and their uprisings, especially in some of the more distant provinces. Uh. 664 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:47,600 Speaker 1: This is weird because picture elli Abolis still young while 665 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,160 Speaker 1: and out his whole life is like an episode of 666 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:54,640 Speaker 1: MTVS cribs. Uh. But every so often, maybe in the 667 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,000 Speaker 1: middle of the night, he's looking out the window and 668 00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,480 Speaker 1: he's thinking of what that Syrian oracle told him long ago. 669 00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:02,880 Speaker 1: It makes me think of Searcy and Game of Thrones, 670 00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:07,200 Speaker 1: who is visited by an oracle or of a seer 671 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,760 Speaker 1: when she's a child and is told that like everyone 672 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,880 Speaker 1: she loves is going to die and all this stuff. 673 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,719 Speaker 1: Um to have that in your head, you know, and 674 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,200 Speaker 1: it caused you to maybe act a certain way because 675 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:21,200 Speaker 1: a lot of stock was put into these types of predictions. Uh. 676 00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:25,080 Speaker 1: And and he was warned by this oracle that he 677 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,760 Speaker 1: should expect a short life and a violent death. Um. 678 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,560 Speaker 1: And so again he um. It's in the same way 679 00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,719 Speaker 1: that Searcy was always trying to keep people at arms 680 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,440 Speaker 1: length and protect her children and all of that. Um. 681 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:43,879 Speaker 1: He preferred the idea of being in control, being able 682 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:47,680 Speaker 1: to kill himself rather than being assassinated. So he kept 683 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 1: the stockpile of silver, daggers and poison. Uh. And he 684 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:56,720 Speaker 1: had a tall tower built and adorned with diamonds and gold, 685 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,360 Speaker 1: so that at the moment when he you know, like 686 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:04,120 Speaker 1: the Hitler Bunker type moment um, he would ascend this 687 00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:08,840 Speaker 1: tower and throw himself to his death before being taken 688 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,799 Speaker 1: alive and tortured and then ultimately you know, killed him. 689 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,920 Speaker 1: M hmm. There's all the story to find out that. Uh. 690 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 1: He apparently also only wore Chinese silk when when possible, 691 00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:23,759 Speaker 1: because he wanted to leave a good looking corpse, right 692 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:27,120 Speaker 1: despite all of all of his preparations, the Tower of 693 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,239 Speaker 1: the Daggers and so on. Uh, he had an ignoble end. 694 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:38,160 Speaker 1: His grandmother masterminded the end of his career. She convinced 695 00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:41,439 Speaker 1: him to adopt his twelve year old cousin, Alexander, as 696 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:46,879 Speaker 1: his official successor. Alexander, not being completely crazy, became kind 697 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:50,200 Speaker 1: of popular throughout Roman society, doubtlessly because he had the 698 00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:54,239 Speaker 1: support of people who wanted anyone but Ellie Gable us here. Uh. 699 00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:59,319 Speaker 1: So Ellie Gables smells something on the wind. Uh, he 700 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:03,280 Speaker 1: thinks his us in as a serious rival, starts planning 701 00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,960 Speaker 1: to kill this twelve year old, and so the family 702 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:12,720 Speaker 1: argues about it. March eleven, two c e Elecapitlis orders 703 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:17,439 Speaker 1: the execution of his cousin and the Praetorian guard refuses. 704 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:23,200 Speaker 1: They support Alexander instead. Twists feels like a coup. H 705 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 1: They were probably bribed by the Emperor's grandmother. She bribes 706 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,160 Speaker 1: a lot of people in this story. Yea, yeah, yeah, 707 00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:33,200 Speaker 1: but why she was seeing the tides turning right, the 708 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:38,360 Speaker 1: tides of public support completely turning and and and away 709 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:42,319 Speaker 1: from you. Know, her grandson who she had installed through 710 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:44,680 Speaker 1: the same type of behavior, the same type of underhanded 711 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,960 Speaker 1: double dealings, and now she sees the end in sight 712 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,319 Speaker 1: right for her. Yeah, that's right, that's right. So this 713 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,399 Speaker 1: is a move of self preservation. Remember we said this 714 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,160 Speaker 1: emperor was not really doing the day to day stuff, 715 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:02,600 Speaker 1: so who was probably blee Julia, probably the grandmother orchestrating 716 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:07,479 Speaker 1: the moves of the empire. So from her perspective, if 717 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:11,759 Speaker 1: I can slot out my crazy grandson who's not really 718 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:14,279 Speaker 1: working out and put in this other kid who's not 719 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:17,759 Speaker 1: as crazy but as younger and more pliable, then I 720 00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:22,840 Speaker 1: can just continue business as usual, you know. So she watches, 721 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:27,960 Speaker 1: she watches Ella Gabolus gets stabbed to death by his 722 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,640 Speaker 1: own soldiers at the age of eighteen, and his mother, 723 00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:38,880 Speaker 1: Julia's daughter, is executed as well, headed, dragged through the streets. Eventually, 724 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:40,920 Speaker 1: I think they try to dump them in a sewer, 725 00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 1: but the sewers too small or something, and they tried 726 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:45,120 Speaker 1: to dump they dumped. I know that at one point 727 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:49,480 Speaker 1: they do dump his headless body into the river, the 728 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:53,799 Speaker 1: Tyber River. Yeah, yeah, I read that. Uh, they tried 729 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,600 Speaker 1: the sewer first, that it wouldn't work, and so they said, okay, 730 00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,759 Speaker 1: let's tie something heavy to this body and then throw 731 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:03,080 Speaker 1: it an the river. Uh. That's not that's not a 732 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,160 Speaker 1: peaceful way to go. As soon as the Senate hears 733 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:11,200 Speaker 1: about it, they condemn his memory. They immediately name Alexinus 734 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:15,840 Speaker 1: the new emperor who becomes who rules until two d 735 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:20,400 Speaker 1: and thirty five when he is also you guess if 736 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:24,520 Speaker 1: folks assassinated emperor, is it like a good job to 737 00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,400 Speaker 1: keep while you have it? But their retirement plan is terrible? 738 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, I mean you never really hear 739 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:33,879 Speaker 1: about many emperors living to the ripe old age of 740 00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,360 Speaker 1: of of whatever thirty I guess would have been for 741 00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:40,520 Speaker 1: the time, and and retiring you know, uh peacefully usually 742 00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:45,480 Speaker 1: involves a lot of stabby stabs. And this this ends 743 00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:49,560 Speaker 1: the story of Ella Gables too, so we're not ending 744 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,920 Speaker 1: completely dire note. Uh. At dinner parties, he was also 745 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:57,319 Speaker 1: known to slip what he called air pillows under his 746 00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,480 Speaker 1: friends of low status. Those are animal platters, so those 747 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 1: were whoopee cushions. It wasn't all terrible. Yeah, I'm picturing this. 748 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,960 Speaker 1: So you would literally take a dried, a cured of 749 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,839 Speaker 1: some kind animal bladder, Uh, and blow it up and 750 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,200 Speaker 1: then you sit on it and then make up a 751 00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:21,560 Speaker 1: fart sound. Ye. So so this so that's not the 752 00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,080 Speaker 1: most light noe. But this is this is a really 753 00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:28,560 Speaker 1: interesting story and it has so much, it has so 754 00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:31,759 Speaker 1: much tied into it. I think one important thing we 755 00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:34,000 Speaker 1: can say there are a lot of takeaways for us 756 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,680 Speaker 1: in the modern day, but one important thing we can 757 00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:39,359 Speaker 1: say here, nol is that we're pretty lucky, uh not 758 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,440 Speaker 1: to live in an age where an entire nation can 759 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:47,279 Speaker 1: be ruled by a twelve or fourteen year old. I 760 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,920 Speaker 1: hope that's not a hot take. I'm glad. I'm glad that. 761 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,480 Speaker 1: I'm glad. You have to have a few more qualifications 762 00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,880 Speaker 1: than just the genetic lottery of birth. Oh totally. And 763 00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,600 Speaker 1: the more we whenever we do these types of you know, 764 00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:04,160 Speaker 1: uh insane Roman, you know, unhinged leader stories, it really 765 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,320 Speaker 1: does make me realize that George RR. Martin was definitely, 766 00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:11,040 Speaker 1: I think, pulling just as much influence from this part 767 00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:12,799 Speaker 1: of history and this part of the world than he 768 00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:17,680 Speaker 1: was from say European history. Yeah, yeah, I agree. You know, 769 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:21,520 Speaker 1: Game of Thrones has a huge basis in the War 770 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:25,920 Speaker 1: of the Ruses, but Martin pulls from uh so many 771 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,759 Speaker 1: other cultures and societies in quite a great way. George, 772 00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,399 Speaker 1: if you happen to listen to this podcast, turn it off, 773 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:35,000 Speaker 1: get back to writing Winds of Winter. Man. I've got 774 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,520 Speaker 1: your back. I know it's tough. I think he's checked 775 00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,839 Speaker 1: out at this point. Ben, I don't know. I'm not 776 00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,080 Speaker 1: giving up on this doll. I'm not giving up. He's 777 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,680 Speaker 1: he's gonna make that book. It's gonna be fantastic, And 778 00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,160 Speaker 1: I am never going to start a fantasy series again 779 00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,479 Speaker 1: unless the thing is already written in its entirety. Maybe 780 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,279 Speaker 1: he's just waiting for the backlash to die down a 781 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:58,479 Speaker 1: little bit from that abysmal ending of the series. Uh 782 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,760 Speaker 1: So people kind of give people a change as to forget, 783 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,759 Speaker 1: because I think it might be a tall order people 784 00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,080 Speaker 1: who are so let down by that ending to go 785 00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,880 Speaker 1: ahead and pick up a book and like rehash it 786 00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,520 Speaker 1: all over again, just to see if he does a 787 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,120 Speaker 1: better job when you don't necessarily know if you they 788 00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,040 Speaker 1: did or not. Yeah, that's true. It's a shrewd Injur's 789 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,040 Speaker 1: plot at this point, isn't it. We don't know? Uh 790 00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:23,759 Speaker 1: but uh yeah, I know a lot of people were 791 00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:27,319 Speaker 1: disappointed with with that last season, but how how wonderful 792 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,040 Speaker 1: uh the good moments of it were. You know, agree, 793 00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,880 Speaker 1: no spoilers that people haven't seen it, um, but you know, 794 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,640 Speaker 1: uh in in trying times like this, NOL super producer 795 00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:41,000 Speaker 1: Casey Pegram, I like to uh lift my spirits with 796 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:45,120 Speaker 1: a warm cup of Joe in my Ridiculous history mug. 797 00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:48,319 Speaker 1: How how how pointless is it to plug this on 798 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,280 Speaker 1: our audio podcast? Not not pointless at all, Ben, because 799 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,080 Speaker 1: you two can see, not only can you see what 800 00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,920 Speaker 1: this beautiful piece of ceramics looks like, you can get 801 00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,640 Speaker 1: one for yourself along with t shirts uh and other 802 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,399 Speaker 1: you know, a Kucherman like I believe you can get 803 00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,600 Speaker 1: yourself a mouse pad. Um. And there's a bunch of 804 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,880 Speaker 1: new designs on here that are pretty cool. So you 805 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,560 Speaker 1: can see this and more by going to t public 806 00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:16,160 Speaker 1: dot com slash Ridiculous. Thanks as always to our super 807 00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:21,560 Speaker 1: producer Casey Pegram, our research associate, the confirmed un crazy 808 00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:25,440 Speaker 1: Gabe Bluesier uh, and thanks to Eaves Jeff Cope, Pure 809 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,800 Speaker 1: podcast or host of several great shows here at the network. 810 00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,120 Speaker 1: Huge thanks to Alex Williams, who composed our theme. Super 811 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:34,680 Speaker 1: producer Casey Pegram, Christopher Haciotes here in spirit, soon to 812 00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:39,040 Speaker 1: be here corporeally or at least podcast early um and 813 00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:41,520 Speaker 1: thanks to you, Ben, this is a fun one or 814 00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,320 Speaker 1: very you know, fun being a loose term agreed agreed 815 00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,640 Speaker 1: on all cowds. Thanks so much, we'll see you next time, Cooks. 816 00:52:57,640 --> 00:52:59,719 Speaker 1: For more podcasts for my heart Radio, visit the I 817 00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,719 Speaker 1: Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 818 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:03,640 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.