Speaker 1: Look married. Oh I see you look over there? How
Speaker 1: is that nulture? Yes? Goodness, let's we've had some incredible
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, so far we have. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you, actually, twenty six more tonight because we
Speaker 1: have somebody rejoined the lineup. Just little minutes, little minutes,
Speaker 1: that's all. Yeah, come on, we're gonna braace through this.
Speaker 1: Three hours later, we're dying over time, all right? Are
Speaker 1: you guys ready to resume? And I also just want
Speaker 1: to do say thank you guys so much for coming
Speaker 1: out and bow and Yang does send all of his love.
Speaker 1: He's busy spending time with his new best friend and
Speaker 1: podcast partner Jason Momoa, who will host SNL this week.
Speaker 1: And I think we'll be good. But you know what,
Speaker 1: you guys didn't even notice Bone was gone right too much?
Speaker 1: All right? So this next group is called Life Style
Speaker 1: and Lifestyle give it up for Jackie Johnson, give it
Speaker 1: up a title man, Emily fight Master and calls that
Speaker 1: are man, oh my god, oh ladies, no ladies, stand up.
Speaker 1: You gotta give it up because when we asked for
Speaker 1: a look, this is why we asked for our match,
Speaker 1: and that's why I instinctually new to put them together. Yes,
Speaker 1: because podcasts are famously a visual medium. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: this is stunning on the eyes, stunning on the eyes, truly. Now,
Speaker 1: I would say, why don't we go ahead and bring
Speaker 1: Jackie Johnson. Jackie Johnson, get up, beauty very Hello, Jackie,
Speaker 1: you're hung these are here, I do think, so, honey,
Speaker 1: appreciate that. Yes, okay, So Jackie, listen, we got a
Speaker 1: trouble here. We also have I'm sure a planned topic.
Speaker 1: What do we think prel okay, okay, dat drama. I
Speaker 1: love the drama. So Jackie Johnson, it's your time to
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Live your time will start now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. Celebrities doing podcasts, Okay, listen, listen,
Speaker 1: we are all you see me improvisers trying to sell
Speaker 1: fucking quick tooth brushes. Just fucking pay our rent. Okay,
Speaker 1: fuck you on embarrass fucking coned. I really thought more
Speaker 1: of you. Fuck you, dat Shepherd and you're fucking armchair
Speaker 1: and you're fucking matching that. Kristen Bell's frozen residuals bought
Speaker 1: come to my fucking apartment pretty seconds. I don't have
Speaker 1: a c I don't have a covered parking spot, so
Speaker 1: fucking us natch okay, by square space, by fucking blue
Speaker 1: Liberty and Oprah, Oprah. I'm really disappointed. You're worth two
Speaker 1: point eight billion fucking dollars and now you're selling Caspers.
Speaker 1: Have you ever stuck? Got a Caramader's oper now, bitch,
Speaker 1: second one every fucking night, use code match support comedians
Speaker 1: and that's one minute, Jackie Johnson, it's rule of culture
Speaker 1: number forty nine. Use code nash shite, Jolly john please
Speaker 1: run for president and can start a podcast. And that
Speaker 1: wasn't what we wanted, our men. Here's an old pro
Speaker 1: coming to the stage, one of the icons of the form.
Speaker 1: The skin on these ladies. I could really teach a
Speaker 1: college course in this bullshit. You really could run back to.
Speaker 1: Don't be nervous, you're just like souling everyone. Now, you
Speaker 1: said you weren't sure, what are you gonna do? What
Speaker 1: are you gonna do? Right now? You're said I had
Speaker 1: a pre select, but I'm a crazy bitch and I
Speaker 1: want a troll bag. I'm a rich ind and I'm
Speaker 1: don't know it though you know it, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you know this is gonna be This is meant to be.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy you did this title. Man, you're I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Trouball topic is Gwyneth Paltrow in
Speaker 1: the lifestyle category even and your time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Gwyneth Paltrow, because you fucking suck
Speaker 1: and we all hate you and leaking unite on that, okay,
Speaker 1: with your jade egg and your goop and your beauty
Speaker 1: secrets and all this ship. I look hot fucking too
Speaker 1: if I had a chef and his staff and I
Speaker 1: used to fuck Brad Pitt. The best you ever were
Speaker 1: was when you fucked Brad Pitt, and I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: you let him go. Seven was the best time for
Speaker 1: you because your head got cut off. That's seconds. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what else you've been in. So you
Speaker 1: wear Calvin Klein and symmetrical bland colors. I don't give
Speaker 1: a funk about you change your hair. Black Danner is
Speaker 1: hotter than you, and that is something you have to seconds.
Speaker 1: You want to know who's a good actress your mom,
Speaker 1: You want to know who's a good musician. Your ex
Speaker 1: fucking husband named your kid Apple, and then you have
Speaker 1: the audacity to name your son, Moses, they will hate
Speaker 1: you big that one minute. That was one minute that
Speaker 1: and I want to say something. I want to say something, right, heir?
Speaker 1: And now that was a real because she went negative.
Speaker 1: She went for Gwyneth Patrol's whole life. Who knows? Who
Speaker 1: knows how Greta really feels about Gwyne's Okay knows, It's unclear,
Speaker 1: is what she just did. And you know what it
Speaker 1: was like watching a new supreme come into being. Okay,
Speaker 1: And with this in mind, everyone, Emily fight mass I
Speaker 1: don't rip that suit right off? Okay, Emily, what are
Speaker 1: we thinking? So there's a bowl. It just produced quite
Speaker 1: a result. There's also the pre planned, pre prepared if
Speaker 1: you will, option whatever you want. No, I've been upset
Speaker 1: for a while about this, and you gotta speak. So
Speaker 1: this is Emily fight Masters. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Fucking Oceans eight,
Speaker 1: fucking lesbian melo drama. You play k Blanchet and Sandra
Speaker 1: Bullock in the same movie, and you refer to them
Speaker 1: as partners, and they get this close to each other,
Speaker 1: but they never fuck man fuck yes, yes, And I'm
Speaker 1: so tired of I love Kate, but she can't be
Speaker 1: a queer icon if the only thing she's known for
Speaker 1: his big Dike energy. But she's not a Dike in
Speaker 1: real life. Okay, that doesn't count. Okay, And Carol, I
Speaker 1: did some scientific research and it turns out I'm the
Speaker 1: only fucking person in the world that's saw Carol. So
Speaker 1: how the fuck is Kate a queer icon from this movie? Y'all?
Speaker 1: And I don't think it's so honey. If you put
Speaker 1: Kate Blanchet in her fucking cheekbones in one more movie
Speaker 1: and she doesn't wear her female co stars pussy like
Speaker 1: a glove. Five seconds watching and that's one minute. Emily
Speaker 1: fight master, I'm Master of the farm. Unbelievable. It's true.
Speaker 1: She asked real questions all of a s and she's
Speaker 1: a queer icon. Have we seen her, like, really kissed
Speaker 1: a woman? I don't know because I haven't seen Carol Mae. Alright,
Speaker 1: here she comes. I'm true icon at Suko. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: here we go and listen, we got the trouble, probably
Speaker 1: mini rule. I don't know what I see you. I
Speaker 1: see you trouble, but I think I'm gon troll on something. Here, Okay,
Speaker 1: troll on something there. Your time begins now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, Julie Chan, move this Asian wife, Asian
Speaker 1: wife of Let's move ves. That's why you're gonna hear
Speaker 1: it twice tonight. Why, Auntie Chan, I do not think so?
Speaker 1: What did I move to the States illegally live in
Speaker 1: a garage for seven years? That's right for you to
Speaker 1: turn your back on me? What do you mean? What? Girl?
Speaker 1: We're both immigrants, grew up in poverty, both married a
Speaker 1: white man. Why we should be the same person? I mean,
Speaker 1: have seconds got through the same trials and tribulations? You
Speaker 1: turned your back? What? Oh to only to watch you
Speaker 1: on Big Brother signing off as I've been Julie Chan
Speaker 1: Movis that hurt me? Oh, Julie Chan Movis whatever happened
Speaker 1: to Julie Chen being an independent woman? Oh? That really
Speaker 1: hurt me? And also what a shitty way to find
Speaker 1: out Big Brother was still on air? I have no
Speaker 1: happy take that sh off. Five seconds, Julie Chen, Let's
Speaker 1: just move this out of here one minute. Give it
Speaker 1: out for her, Julie one more time. Let's say one
Speaker 1: more time, Julie Chen, history will remember you, and I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but we have another rule of culture. It's rule of
Speaker 1: culture number ninety eight. Julie chen moonves at it here
Speaker 1: with that, and the obsession continues because Nicole, it's here,
Speaker 1: you are here. I make up inspired by Tracy Ellis Ross.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. Tracy's gonna be doing and I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. So what is it gonna be?
Speaker 1: Is it gonna I'm a little scar but I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do the trollball? Yes she is, Yes, she
Speaker 1: is pry for me, right for me. She got training,
Speaker 1: she got training it. Okay, I like this one. I
Speaker 1: like this one. I think this is good for you. Okay, Nicole,
Speaker 1: Yes you are. I don't think so, honey. Trollball topic
Speaker 1: is the legendary Clint Eastwood bring him down that your
Speaker 1: time starts now. Okay, I don't think so, honey, Clint Eastwood,
Speaker 1: listen up, bitch, your old ass bitch. You don't think
Speaker 1: that we don't know you an old ass, Rice is bitch.
Speaker 1: We don't like you. You still and look like my grandma.
Speaker 1: And you know what that is said for you. My
Speaker 1: Grandma's hot. You got a problem, dude. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Clint Eastwood, you used to think you were some big,
Speaker 1: badass guy and I used the little man. When you
Speaker 1: get Clint Eastwood thirty seconds, I don't think so, Honey's
Speaker 1: old as dude. This ain't a Western anymore. Okay. I
Speaker 1: saw that movie where you're sitting on your porch being
Speaker 1: racist for those Asian people. You think that was okay.
Speaker 1: You directed that movie and you think that was okay?
Speaker 1: It was okay, Pleaswood, you're trying to play your stuff.
Speaker 1: You're trying to play You're trying to make us pay
Speaker 1: sixteen dollars se see her racist movie. Five seconds Eastwood,
Speaker 1: I will say that your son is very freaking hot
Speaker 1: and you can call me anytime you want. Man, think
Speaker 1: so honey, yod you and even more extra points. You
Speaker 1: know what men shooting on Grand Torino. That is intersectionality. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Please give it up for lifestyle
Speaker 1: Jackie Chompson and Title Fights. That was an extremely strong good.
Speaker 1: That was the way to come out the gates Trump.
Speaker 1: But you know what, I'm excited about this next group.
Speaker 1: I'm excited about this next game. The next group is
Speaker 1: called ak Bar Trash. Everyone give it up for Jimmy Folly,
Speaker 1: Jerry Goldstein, John Hartman, Peter Kim and Justin Say, look
Speaker 1: at this act bar trash. Not one of these insight.
Speaker 1: Look at these act bar trash. So many sisters on
Speaker 1: the stage. So I with some trash. Let's start with
Speaker 1: Jimmy Folly. Please, Hey, bitch, we have the trouble here,
Speaker 1: celebrated improviser. We also have I know, some fucking fabulous
Speaker 1: ideas up in that head. I don't know. I'm actually undecided.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I should do the trollball trouball.
Speaker 1: They're always gonna say, they're always gonna Okay, well, we'll
Speaker 1: see how this goes. I'll do the troll ball. Yes,
Speaker 1: here we go. You've ordered the troll ball. Okay, ball,
Speaker 1: it's giving you something. I think good. Your I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Trollball topic Jimmy Fowley is Abraham Lincoln
Speaker 1: and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln. You think that you're so great because you're tall,
Speaker 1: is adding honey. I'm so tired of you coming around
Speaker 1: here being like I'm the sixteen president. Bitch. I've been
Speaker 1: following the elections and I'm not that impressed with sixteen.
Speaker 1: As far as I know, it's sixteen. You're on the
Speaker 1: penny high me. Oh wow, wow, that's really I mean, honey,
Speaker 1: you're not to me anymore. Honey, I saw your face,
Speaker 1: and this is rude to call someone ugly, but that mole, like,
Speaker 1: there's other stuff you can do. Grow the beard up,
Speaker 1: I mean. And I don't think that I haven't heard
Speaker 1: the rumors about you. Honey. You're married, she loves you,
Speaker 1: be loyal. I believe you're married. Yes, honey. It's all
Speaker 1: gonna come down to this. That cherry tree, you chopped
Speaker 1: it down. Honey, I'm gonna chop you down. That's one minute.
Speaker 1: You guys don't say anything, don't want to say anything.
Speaker 1: No one say God damn working. Here's the thing, I Jimmy,
Speaker 1: I wish Abraham Lincoln had chopped down that tree. We
Speaker 1: wouldn't tell you. And then at a hundred points, Jimmy Fairley,
Speaker 1: everyone but you had amazing points about the fact that
Speaker 1: he was gay. Oh really, another sister coming to the stage.
Speaker 1: Please give it up for Jared gold See look at
Speaker 1: those locks. Oh best tear in the room to male
Speaker 1: female non binary doesn't matter best hair. J you can decide.
Speaker 1: I've decided pre select that. So listen, Jared, You're I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Time we'll begin now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. The leper Con from the movie The
Speaker 1: leper Con. You are ugly and I don't like you. Bitch,
Speaker 1: you are too scary. I am still scared of you
Speaker 1: too this day, and I am thirty. It is not okay.
Speaker 1: It is sad. A friend of mine sent me a
Speaker 1: gift of the leper Con. It scared me so much
Speaker 1: I had to run up my stairs every night for
Speaker 1: three weeks. I'd don't think so, honey, You're too scary.
Speaker 1: The only thing scarier in that movie was remember Anniston's
Speaker 1: original no, I don't care and to quote to quote,
Speaker 1: sister Pod seek treatment the leper Con. The leper can
Speaker 1: look at me, look at me, fix your face, fix
Speaker 1: your body, and stop scaring everybody's look. You have had
Speaker 1: so many sequels, but you will never be Glamor. In
Speaker 1: the fourth movie, you went to Space. In the fifth movie,
Speaker 1: you went to the Hood. This bitch went to the
Speaker 1: Jupiter before she went to Compton. That's fucking racist. I
Speaker 1: don't think the Hondadson briefly seek treatment here tonight coming
Speaker 1: for Jay Anniston. Okay, another great cardigan coming to the stage.
Speaker 1: Please give it up for my friend art Man. Okay,
Speaker 1: I love City. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Gonna
Speaker 1: be again another It's like it's crazy. The Trouball is
Speaker 1: screaming out. But you know what, I don't want to
Speaker 1: take the fact away that you might have an amazing professor.
Speaker 1: He's got a great brain. Well, I'm going to do
Speaker 1: something near and dear to my heart. Um, it's the Trouball. Oh,
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it, I love it. We're
Speaker 1: getting lots of people. I don't know. Okay, maybe one
Speaker 1: of your idols. Yeah, I don't know. He's a Second
Speaker 1: City alone, is it, Julie Chen your I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Trollball topic is in fact Steve Correll and your time
Speaker 1: begins now, I don't think so, honey, Steve Correll. Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe we both did come from the same hollowed institution
Speaker 1: of the Second City. Let's forget that right now. What
Speaker 1: happened to your wife, nan Sea Wall? She had a
Speaker 1: wonderful career going and now she does opening bits on
Speaker 1: SNL for you, and you get to do everything serious movies,
Speaker 1: funny movies, theater. You know who else does theater that
Speaker 1: we aren't talking about thirty seconds Cherry Jones, the first
Speaker 1: woman of the American Theater. But we can't talk about
Speaker 1: her because Steve Correll is doing something instead. So I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Steve Correll. You brought your children
Speaker 1: to SNL, which is fine, that's a lovely gift for them.
Speaker 1: But I don't think so, honey. Welcome to Marwin. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it's about, but there's talk of a
Speaker 1: hate crime in it, and it doesn't look like you're
Speaker 1: doing something five for gay people in that five seconds left,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Over fifty years of L
Speaker 1: O L at Second City, only about five of them
Speaker 1: were from you. That's what I'm so happy you brought
Speaker 1: this up, John Harmon, What the fuck is Welcome to Marrowin?
Speaker 1: Is your next favorite movie? Okay, I'm gonna see it
Speaker 1: probably opening day. I want to see it midnight midnight?
Speaker 1: Is it Barbies? I think it's Barbie's. I think it
Speaker 1: might be Barbies. He is supposed to be gay. To
Speaker 1: be continued anyway, Sister Peter can get up here, Hi,
Speaker 1: Peter Caim. I love to share the stage. I love
Speaker 1: to share the stage with What are we doing? Um?
Speaker 1: I have something I want to rant about. Okay, I
Speaker 1: get Peter Kim. Your time begins now. Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, Tops who refused to eat? But okay,
Speaker 1: are you fucking crazy? My ass is like a hoofy
Speaker 1: in the winter. You gotta warm it up before you
Speaker 1: take all ride on. Okay, what the funk? Tops who
Speaker 1: don't eat? But what else do you bring it to
Speaker 1: the table? Residual misogyny? I don't think so, honey. Okay,
Speaker 1: bottoms have to do everything. We have to eat right,
Speaker 1: We have to clean out. We gotta sprints the hole
Speaker 1: with the rosewater. What the fund are you bring? You
Speaker 1: come over with your dirty asked dick that's been scrunched
Speaker 1: up in box the briefs all day, and you set
Speaker 1: me to suck it. I mean I will because I
Speaker 1: was raised with manners. Honey. Okay, let me tell you
Speaker 1: as my body the cave of wonders and the secret
Speaker 1: pass code ain't open cess to me. It's I like
Speaker 1: rosewater on your ass, Honey. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: that's culture, that's we just spent a long time, and
Speaker 1: that I don't think so, honey, grilling our friend who
Speaker 1: doesn't eat butter. There's a few tops in here who
Speaker 1: aren't eating ass and we see you, and history will remember.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the stage, this is an icon. He's
Speaker 1: the children. He's about to feed the children tonight. I
Speaker 1: am so sad he only gets a minute. Justin, justin,
Speaker 1: thank you for gracing Thank you? Do you like my outfit?
Speaker 1: I dressed as your mom doing a community theater production
Speaker 1: of Greece? And that is and that is exactly what
Speaker 1: she wore. That is what she wore. Were worst things
Speaker 1: she could do? Justin, justin, there's there's two options, as
Speaker 1: you're probably well aware, Yes, I prepare something because it's
Speaker 1: my birthday tonight, and can we say happy birthday? And
Speaker 1: can we say happy birthday on three? One two three?
Speaker 1: And we don't have time? Justin, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: Oh you're gonna go your own pre select? Yes, your
Speaker 1: time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Planning your
Speaker 1: birthday as an adult, I'm sorry. I don't want to
Speaker 1: clean my apartment for two days and buy a mountain
Speaker 1: of humus that nobody's gonna eat because your boyfriend's still
Speaker 1: on method. We're all not talking about it. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: that I'm gonna invite you over to my house and
Speaker 1: put out coasters, but nobody's gonna sucking use those coasters
Speaker 1: because they're all ethens. And I'm sorry that you're just
Speaker 1: gonna sit around my house and bore up the place
Speaker 1: when we could be at a restaurant where when the
Speaker 1: bill comes, I watch you nickel and dime how much
Speaker 1: you love me. Birthday to me, for Christ's sakes, And
Speaker 1: I don't want your presents from Urban out there there said.
Speaker 1: I don't want some stupid mug that has some funny
Speaker 1: saying on it or some RuPaul's drag rags jot if
Speaker 1: you want to buy me a present and Harry stuffs
Speaker 1: to sit on my fucking baste, because and that's what
Speaker 1: I want. I don't want to travel with you because
Speaker 1: you don't travel well, just like the Hummus. I'm stuck
Speaker 1: with my fucking reference my birthday, and I want to
Speaker 1: celebrate how I like. It's why I always carrying my
Speaker 1: keys in l A because I'm always going the fuck home.
Speaker 1: And that's one Man Sayer and a rule of culture.
Speaker 1: It's rule of culture number one hundred. If you want
Speaker 1: to get me a birthday present, have harrys I'll sit
Speaker 1: on my face. Give it up for this off bar,
Speaker 1: Trashi Valley, Jared Goldstein, John Harden, Peter Kim, Iconic, Justin Sayer. Oh,
Speaker 1: he is not invited to my thirty feet where we
Speaker 1: will be going to Key West. Okay, this next group
Speaker 1: coming to the state. What what'd you say? I'm just sad.
Speaker 1: We're almost We're all like there at the end we
Speaker 1: have three more groups of sucking Iconic. I don't think
Speaker 1: somebody's through it. It's really sad. This next group is
Speaker 1: called screaming infidelities. Give it up for Jan Salami, Breath Brewett,
Speaker 1: Drew Craft and Medicine Shepherd. Come on, iconic folks, now listen.
Speaker 1: I heard we have a one Jim Salami here, Jan Salami,
Speaker 1: here we go, get over here to the mic. Do
Speaker 1: you want some of these your condition condition? She did?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Jan, she did a one in each nostril.
Speaker 1: She's ready to go. Jan Salami. It's an honor to
Speaker 1: have you here first of all. J or Ms Salami,
Speaker 1: how do you prefer. Okay, So, Jan, you know how
Speaker 1: this works, right? You know where you are the Whole Foods.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, um so at this Whole Foods. We got
Speaker 1: a troll ball and that there's topics in it. You
Speaker 1: can talk about for sixty seconds, or you can do
Speaker 1: your own thing to talk about something very important to
Speaker 1: talk about. Okay, Jam, okay, Jam, one minute, Jan, you
Speaker 1: got one minute, and that minute begins. Now I'm really
Speaker 1: feeling that thing. I snowed o. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: The big fake teeth from Bohemian City. I wanted to
Speaker 1: ride my bicycle out of the theater. Now take it
Speaker 1: from a woman who has snorted cocaine of Freddy McCurry's
Speaker 1: ass and spit it right back into his mouth. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: those teeth were not that big, because sorry, Rammy, Rammy, schmummy,
Speaker 1: it's not art or method. Okay, uh, it's distracting. The
Speaker 1: camera adds ten pounds and it adds a few molders too. Okay, Scaro,
Speaker 1: no one's going on fandango to go back. Now, let
Speaker 1: me tell you how many times I'm so hot hive seconds?
Speaker 1: Can anybody fathery someone who won't made the movie about
Speaker 1: do it right instead of about Chris Lions who designed
Speaker 1: the teeth. That's what the movie was about. Thank you,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you got so high. No double scorpio there
Speaker 1: real ammu nitress. Okay now, breathe, bruett Oh, I didn't
Speaker 1: know it was a two piece. I did not know
Speaker 1: it was look and thank you for delivering. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for feeding my family. What is it gonna
Speaker 1: be tonight? Is it going to be a pre selector?
Speaker 1: Is it going to be? As much as I want
Speaker 1: to make you happy, I have to pre select. That's fine.
Speaker 1: It all makes us happy. It all makes us happy. Breathe,
Speaker 1: you know what you're I don't think so any time
Speaker 1: it starts now, I don't think so, honey. Movies in
Speaker 1: which someone falls in love with a fat woman because
Speaker 1: of literal magic no no, no, honey, no no no
Speaker 1: rom com rebel Wilson vehicle, no no, no no no.
Speaker 1: Here's a list of things fat women do not need
Speaker 1: to fall in love. A magic, a brain injury, a
Speaker 1: gypsy's curse, high stakes bet, an emotional connection. Bitch, there's
Speaker 1: a man in Seattle wants to marry me because we've
Speaker 1: made out one time on me. No, no, no, honey,
Speaker 1: we're not doing it. Honey. We're not shallow howling, We're
Speaker 1: not I feel pretty. In fact, we're not even referring
Speaker 1: to Amy Schumer as fat anymore because she's a white
Speaker 1: person who upholds normal beauty standards. Honey, she's gone an
Speaker 1: outsider on the answer. Honey, you have to tell real
Speaker 1: stories about fat woman, Hollywood. Buy them from me. I
Speaker 1: already wrote them. I tell you about the bad meetings
Speaker 1: all that time that feel bad for fat woman in
Speaker 1: two thousand nineteen, because we're coming for your men and
Speaker 1: your money. Honey, I think that makes you some sort
Speaker 1: of alderman in West Hollywood. Yeah, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: felt that one in my toe. I don't think somebody
Speaker 1: did it for me. Alright, Mr drew Craft, please get
Speaker 1: to them. Thank you for this top. You are welcome,
Speaker 1: just for you. Thank you, said fashion. And I brought
Speaker 1: as best as I could. And hello, fashions don't stay
Speaker 1: just this moment. So it's subjectives that the fashion means
Speaker 1: blue camo, so we have you know, famously, there's a
Speaker 1: troll ball. I'm going to do a little pre selected
Speaker 1: drew Craft, your time begins now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: People who stay dumb shipped to Ginger's yep, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: sick of your ship. No, just because I'm the only
Speaker 1: Ginger and my family doesn't mean I'm adopted. It is
Speaker 1: a recessive trade. Bitch. Oh you you want to know
Speaker 1: why Gingers are hot headed? Because every celebrity quiz tells
Speaker 1: you that you look like Karen top That is off
Speaker 1: and said bait. That is offensive to any human alive.
Speaker 1: Were you curious if the carpet matches the drapes? Yes
Speaker 1: it does? When does it not match the drapes? Why
Speaker 1: are you asking? You're not gonna see and you gaze,
Speaker 1: don't fall for it. Debra Messing is not a natural redhead.
Speaker 1: Gay emojis were released and we have two options male female,
Speaker 1: and Mermaid is the third because wouldn't be true. Craft
Speaker 1: crafts crazy and and l A comics singing unbelievable. That's
Speaker 1: gonna be in fighting now, in fighting in the community.
Speaker 1: Speaking of an l A comic, Please welcome the very
Speaker 1: funny Jonathan right. Oh ja, he love the girls, love
Speaker 1: the love your choice. Someone stole my fucking topic, Kim, Peter,
Speaker 1: Kim stole my topic. So what now? I mean the
Speaker 1: question we have to I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: I'm doing I I have no trolls choice. But did
Speaker 1: you Troball? I love it when you're back into a corner.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it when you're back into
Speaker 1: a corner. Joel Kim Booster said that I love it
Speaker 1: when you're back into a corner. Alright, fight or flight?
Speaker 1: Fight or flight? Okay, Okay, I don't know actually how
Speaker 1: this is gonna go for you. You might have a
Speaker 1: lot of different feelings, so your I don't think so, honey, Trouball,
Speaker 1: topic is vegan is um and your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, vegan iss um. Okay, we
Speaker 1: are animals. What do you have against eating animals? Okay?
Speaker 1: I would eat most of you in a pinch. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't care about a dog. I don't care about
Speaker 1: a lamb, and I don't care about a cow. I
Speaker 1: definitely don't care about a human. I am I eat meat, bitch.
Speaker 1: I don't fucking care. How many of you guys are beating?
Speaker 1: Raise your hand, Raise your hand right now? One person?
Speaker 1: Everyone else tail here eats meat to people, but she's
Speaker 1: drunk as fuck. I don't think so, honey. Vegan is
Speaker 1: of me is how we survived, It nurtures us. It's
Speaker 1: how Joel got this fucking leather hat. It's made of
Speaker 1: real cow. I know the name of that cow. The
Speaker 1: name of that cow is okay, that's one minute. Thank
Speaker 1: you say their name. Their name was La and Joel
Speaker 1: killed them for this. It'sleather. It's leather. Note all right,
Speaker 1: he killed. Closing out this group is please give it
Speaker 1: up for Madison Shepherd, giving you just a peak, just
Speaker 1: a peak? Hi, Hi, can we do for you? Look?
Speaker 1: My manager's here, I'm I'm pre selected. What's doing it
Speaker 1: for Madison's manager? Everybody get her that temper? Madison? Your
Speaker 1: time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Theater coming
Speaker 1: for you. Excuse me. They say that the theater is dying. Honey.
Speaker 1: Well that's the case. Find your light and step into it. Honey.
Speaker 1: Fucking cross over, bitch, because you're done. Do you know
Speaker 1: what theater is? Okay? Um? Nobody wants to see your
Speaker 1: gender swapped color blind production of Grease near the airport Honteing.
Speaker 1: Not for fifty dollars a ticket, not even with a
Speaker 1: promo code. Honey, I can't Maria from accounting. I haven't
Speaker 1: never wanted to know what your lady McBee was like
Speaker 1: out damn spot indeed, honey, thank you ten um okay,
Speaker 1: okay bye for the theater. And to be honest, I
Speaker 1: would see that gender swapped version of Grease by the
Speaker 1: airport terminal to thank you up for screaming inftalities Cat Party,
Speaker 1: free true Crab, Jonathan R. Medicine Shepherd and it's cat
Speaker 1: polar Party. I'm sorry, cap all right you guys the
Speaker 1: penultimate group coming to the stage. Are you ready for
Speaker 1: a Legends ball? Please give it up for Casey Salva, Sorry,
Speaker 1: Jesse Davison and Frances. Come on, y'all come up the
Speaker 1: different there to find the fact that no one has
Speaker 1: come here before. My god, and we got a wild
Speaker 1: card on the stage as well. I'm so sorry, please,
Speaker 1: Fresh off the heels of seeing the Queen herself Dolly Parton,
Speaker 1: she saw Dolly Parton, didn't think she can make it
Speaker 1: Dolly in Earli and now she's here Lydia Papovitch right
Speaker 1: in case you are first to the should have been
Speaker 1: in the act bar trash group because exactly have some
Speaker 1: hi take some to and then tell us what you're
Speaker 1: gonna I don't think so, honey. Your troll balls so
Speaker 1: my head, okay, so pre selected. It sounds like, oh, there,
Speaker 1: go for it, and your time begins. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Shaming plastic straw use, it's fucking discriminatory against those of
Speaker 1: us who want to drink a zesty blood orange diet
Speaker 1: coke while wearing lipstick or full face. Okay, if I
Speaker 1: want to drink cancer through a piece of trash, my body,
Speaker 1: my choice, and sure, straws are just disposable pieces of
Speaker 1: thin plastic. But so has half the population of los angeless.
Speaker 1: Who's gonna be in all the movies if l A
Speaker 1: starts banning plastic garbage, just regular looking people like Jonah
Speaker 1: Hell and all the straight boys from your Mad team.
Speaker 1: Gross fucking fucking what ever? Um, Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: still more concerned about years of discrimination, years of institutionalized race,
Speaker 1: years ofalized racism, instead of what some sea turtle got
Speaker 1: stuck up its nose. And I am I the only
Speaker 1: person who saw that sea turtle with a sucking straw
Speaker 1: up his nose. It was like that reptile knows how
Speaker 1: to party way not everybody shall be drinking juice. Think
Speaker 1: your juice shall be there. We go, Casey Lie Health
Speaker 1: is coming to a little Miss America wave just to say, hey, Asha,
Speaker 1: what are we thinking? We're working. We're going to use
Speaker 1: the thinker and give them something I thought about, Asha Alfa,
Speaker 1: your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Women
Speaker 1: in two thousand and eighteen who asked me when I'm
Speaker 1: going to change my last name when I just got married? Okay,
Speaker 1: have you heard my name Aisha Alpha? It sounds like
Speaker 1: a name that I got to choose and did. Okay,
Speaker 1: I sound like a bond villain from Wakanda. I mean,
Speaker 1: people tell me, but it's okay. You can go buy
Speaker 1: Asha Green. Nay Alpha Alpha, bitch, I was Nay Alpha.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna die Alpha. It's insane. All of my social
Speaker 1: media is my first and last name. Everything at Alpha,
Speaker 1: not I Sha Underscore Alpha sixty nine. It's just me.
Speaker 1: People's one. You think I'm gonna change that and then
Speaker 1: confuse and disappoint my literally dozens of fans seconds. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Okay, it's just the patriarchy trying
Speaker 1: to make me feel invisible again. As a woman, but
Speaker 1: I have a strong alpha female that's not gonna change.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you this, it's not my husband who
Speaker 1: asked me to change it because he wants my last name.
Speaker 1: That's one then as alpha Alpa, I want your last name,
Speaker 1: marry me. People think I made up Booster. Okay, oh
Speaker 1: my god. We got another bi coastal beauty kind of
Speaker 1: stage her name and she just moved. Here is me.
Speaker 1: She was bi Coasta currently. She was like, is it me?
Speaker 1: She's by UM's by me? Famously trained at the Annoyance
Speaker 1: Theater in Crooklyn. True shady bitch for three people in
Speaker 1: the audience. Um, I ever did poppers only time with
Speaker 1: Joel Kim Booster during Yeah, because he forces you to
Speaker 1: do it. It's harassment during during I'm concert. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, you went to an eminem concert. You're
Speaker 1: both discussed. When he says bitch, it really does sound
Speaker 1: like a slur. We left early, okay, we did go
Speaker 1: um um, I am gonna I'm gonna do trouble. Wow, Yes,
Speaker 1: it's my I never do trouble. I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: You never do And you told me you had another thing,
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm just gonna say for the fans
Speaker 1: it was new Grinch. Okay, I do like this for you, though, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what. I don't think, so honey.
Speaker 1: Trouball topic is the Atlantic Ocean. I don't think so honey,
Speaker 1: Atlantic Ocean. You are cold, you bore me, your sand
Speaker 1: is bad. I don't like you. You're by all the
Speaker 1: worst dates. How about you be buy a hot place. Okay,
Speaker 1: Atlantic Ocean. I haven't seen one dolphin in you, and
Speaker 1: my family went to South Carolina all the time. Atlantic Ocean, Um,
Speaker 1: how about be a more interesting ocean like Pacific where
Speaker 1: you can actually surf. I never heard of someone surfing
Speaker 1: in the Atlantic Ocean, and if it is happening, no
Speaker 1: one's talking to me about it, and I would like
Speaker 1: to know. I don't think so honey, Atlantic Ocean because
Speaker 1: you touch. You touch the Cold States too, and an
Speaker 1: ocean should be hot. I should be able to swim
Speaker 1: in an ocean year round. I don't think so honey,
Speaker 1: Atlantic Ocean because you go all the way over to
Speaker 1: other countries and I don't feel like I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey, Atlantic Ocean because if I want to go
Speaker 1: to Europe, I'm gonna fly. That's one wants nothing to
Speaker 1: do with the cruise across the Atlantic. If she's going
Speaker 1: to Europe. Fuck you for putting the Atlantic Ocean in there,
Speaker 1: you stupid bitch. You're the dumbest bitch I ever met.
Speaker 1: Chelsea Davisson. Please come to the stage. She is getting
Speaker 1: us full SAG Awards beauty though like your heels three times?
Speaker 1: You do? You want to know what great I bought
Speaker 1: these in eighth grade. Yes, they're back, Horner, I said,
Speaker 1: turn look, she said, I'm going to get my eighth
Speaker 1: grade shoes. Okay. So, Chelsea, yeah, a bed of the
Speaker 1: show you know about? You know about? You know, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go with with my own way. Your time begins now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Pugs, Okay, Pugs, you look
Speaker 1: like a burrito someone dropped on fresh asphalts. Okay, Pugs,
Speaker 1: you look like a potato left in a bathtub. Pugs,
Speaker 1: you look like fat Mr Bean. Okay. And why do
Speaker 1: you have so many health problems? Pugs? Were you exclusively
Speaker 1: bread and chair noble? I mean, guy's wrong. I've seen
Speaker 1: tumors healthier than you. Pugs. I mean, have hurt yourselves.
Speaker 1: I mean plugs. Do you sound like that weird guy
Speaker 1: on the bus who's just sweating everywhere? You know, what
Speaker 1: is wrong with you? I mean pugs. You can't even
Speaker 1: be born naturally. Most of you are delivered by six pugs.
Speaker 1: If you can't find your way out of a birth canal,
Speaker 1: maybe you don't deserve on this to be here on
Speaker 1: this earth pugs. And then I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: People who buy selling pugs. If you're buying a pug,
Speaker 1: you're basically dr Moreau. Okay, it's just a thousand dollar
Speaker 1: fuckut evolution. It's in bread and that's one people loved
Speaker 1: dogs us on fire. If you love pugsuck you my
Speaker 1: favorite name of the night coming to the stage. Chessca
Speaker 1: ane in my mouth and our next are warm? Yes?
Speaker 1: And our brands are they warmer? Or do we need
Speaker 1: the trollball? We need the trouble? We don't need it.
Speaker 1: We've been thinking all the way over here, and Francesca,
Speaker 1: you're I don't think sotime, Honey, time begins now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Coca Cola Polar Bear ad campaign,
Speaker 1: you're still here. You know who's not Polar Bears? Okay,
Speaker 1: what kind of sick corporate fuck wants to feed corn
Speaker 1: syrup to an endangered species to put us in the
Speaker 1: holiday spirit. That doesn't make me want to deck the hall,
Speaker 1: to make me want to deck an oil executive. Honey, fuck,
Speaker 1: have you seen are bears recently? They're emaciated. They don't
Speaker 1: look like they drink coke. They look like they do coke.
Speaker 1: I don't know whether to save them or a fall
Speaker 1: them into the bathroom. I don't think so, honey, Coca
Speaker 1: Cola Polar Bear ad campaign. Co Cola, your carpet footprint
Speaker 1: is the reason that the Polar Bears are extinct. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's like if Odine made mac Miller the face of
Speaker 1: their new campaign. Thank oh yeah, I guess what. They
Speaker 1: don't give a funk about Christmas because they are white, fierce,
Speaker 1: and they are always under attack. They're Jewish. Bit that's
Speaker 1: one man something to think about here tonight. I hope,
Speaker 1: I hope, Arianna, here's this episode and close out this
Speaker 1: group of budgeons ball please welcome Lidia. Hello, Hello, queen,
Speaker 1: Hello there, what are we doing tonight? Now? You're high
Speaker 1: on Dolly? So I am high on Dolly and I'm
Speaker 1: torn because I kind of want to talk about it,
Speaker 1: but they're also angry about other things. Who knows, you
Speaker 1: know what? Go with what you're most angry about God?
Speaker 1: I mean Dolly Parton. Okay, I'm ready, you're ready. Okay,
Speaker 1: Lydia Popovich, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: James Gordon, who the fund do you think you are?
Speaker 1: You don't have a motherfucking icon like Dolly Parton on
Speaker 1: your show and then have the audacity to sit her
Speaker 1: next to Twiggy, asked Jennifer Aniston, and then talk over
Speaker 1: a bit? What is wrong with you? Dolly Parton is
Speaker 1: a shining beam of original God light. She is here
Speaker 1: to light the entire earth that we can find our
Speaker 1: way and know the pure joy exists on this earth. Sconds,
Speaker 1: And you want to talk to this bitch about ghosts
Speaker 1: in a house in Laurel? Can you get the funk
Speaker 1: outta here? Dolly Parton relieved that she actually has tattoos
Speaker 1: all the way down between those precious titties under her stuff,
Speaker 1: like and you didn't have the time to ask her
Speaker 1: about that, but I know that Jennifer Aniston's roommate was
Speaker 1: a cut fuck you Chans called it. I want to
Speaker 1: hear this bitch sing. She didn't sing one fucking note.
Speaker 1: He had her hum into a kazoo, which is adorable.
Speaker 1: And I get it. I love the pan. But if
Speaker 1: dolly sucking part and that's what that's what dolly fucking
Speaker 1: parton man, it's rural culture number sixty eight, it's dolly
Speaker 1: fucking part. Jen Aniston is some real collateral damage tonight,
Speaker 1: she is. This is not a safe space for her.
Speaker 1: Here's the region under that bus that Mary Holland does
Speaker 1: not want to see her. Is she here? Imagine she
Speaker 1: were to step forward, we would all lose our minds.
Speaker 1: We'd all take it back, all right, you guys, that
Speaker 1: was a let's ball casey Lie, I Shall, Chelsea Davison,
Speaker 1: Francesca Fiant. Unfortunately, y'all, this is gonna be our last
Speaker 1: group coming up right now? Are you ready for it?
Speaker 1: Are you ready for it? Oh? Wow, that's a funny,
Speaker 1: that's are you ready for it? Because this group is
Speaker 1: called Taylor Swift, Tay Taylor Swift, Swift Swift, and please
Speaker 1: welcome Alexandra Ford, Sue Elisa in Paris and Tammy saying, oh,
Speaker 1: some looks, some looks like Alexandra. Thank you, my very
Speaker 1: exciting Alexandria. Hello, now she brought the jumps to what
Speaker 1: are we bringing? Are we bringing your idea? And you're
Speaker 1: percolating with no. This has really been hard my heart.
Speaker 1: For months. This has been and you gotta get it out, girl,
Speaker 1: You gotta get it out. So get it out right
Speaker 1: now your time begins. I don't think so, honey. The
Speaker 1: romanoffs on Amazon Prime. If you don't even know what
Speaker 1: the funk that show is, congratulations, But I do. I
Speaker 1: am a real Anastasia head. I have a gorgeous thirty
Speaker 1: two bar cut of Journey to the Past, so I
Speaker 1: know I know what a show called The romanofs about
Speaker 1: the last Imperial family of Russia should be. Bitch And
Speaker 1: it is fur, it is snow, it is sex, it
Speaker 1: is Samovars, it is Winter Palace, Summer Ballace, and Jude
Speaker 1: Law has a hot resputed Do not give me what
Speaker 1: you gave me Amazon, which is ten episodes ep by
Speaker 1: noted creep Matthew Weiner about a bunch of boring white
Speaker 1: idiots who think they might need be kind of related
Speaker 1: to the Ramazon Also, if I wanted to watch a
Speaker 1: show where boring white actors go over who their relatives?
Speaker 1: Right be, I'd be watching who do you think you are?
Speaker 1: On t S. Also, every episode of the show is
Speaker 1: ninety motherfucking minutes long. Do you know what I want
Speaker 1: to watch for ninety minutes? Paddington? That's it. That's one man.
Speaker 1: Alexandrasandra Ford stunning. We're gonna need to hear that. Thirty
Speaker 1: two bar cutoff. Journey to the journey to the past,
Speaker 1: whispered into my year later. All right, another bicoast of beauty, Saith,
Speaker 1: Now you've got the red pants, we've got a red ball.
Speaker 1: What's it's crazy going to be? Sorry? She she knows her,
Speaker 1: she knows her heart, Sue Smith, your time begins now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, adult to her into Disney,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's fucking weird, it's creepy. You're a pedophile.
Speaker 1: We'd get it. You had a happy child, hud You
Speaker 1: you came from money, your parents could afford the channel.
Speaker 1: We get it. Meanwhile, I'm sitting alone in my shared
Speaker 1: living room with a TV watching fucking snack. We get it.
Speaker 1: You had a pool, you went to our Lando every year.
Speaker 1: We get it. Also, Walt Disney is fucking problems and
Speaker 1: also you will never be sitting cerella. I don't think
Speaker 1: so that's quite enough that you know what, that's quite enough.
Speaker 1: There's been a lot of attacks on me personally in
Speaker 1: a night. I'm glad someone finally took down Matt Thank you, Sue.
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Someone said, is singing funny? And
Speaker 1: there wasn't. I don't think the many New York comics,
Speaker 1: and now I have to deal with this fucking bullshit
Speaker 1: attacking Disney, which honestly is having birthday parties, and that's
Speaker 1: my thing. Was he what can someone answer me? This
Speaker 1: was he buried with Nazi Ship. We'll never know, We'll
Speaker 1: never know, we'll never know. A group later at the time, Ship,
Speaker 1: please give it up for a listen in Paris, love
Speaker 1: to bring her up to Nazi Ship. This is a
Speaker 1: talk about later at precincts where we'll discuss this in Paris.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, What are we fucking doing? Are we
Speaker 1: doing the trouble? Are we doing you? I can't, I can't,
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry to pile on and ruin some
Speaker 1: people's evenings, but I do not think a GLOSSI A okay,
Speaker 1: why are your models faces so wet? What happened? Why
Speaker 1: did they go swimming? Why are they say? You're selling
Speaker 1: me water? You're like, oh no, it's to make you
Speaker 1: look naturally beautiful. No, that's a gorgeous model whose face
Speaker 1: is wat Okay. If I went outside with a wet face,
Speaker 1: people would say, sweetheart, do you have the flu? Are
Speaker 1: you okay? Also also okay, the boy brow, that's their
Speaker 1: big thing. Your eyebrows, bigger girl. I'm Greek and Italian? Okay.
Speaker 1: I came out of the wound with a full bush.
Speaker 1: I don't need your hair. I came out in the doctor.
Speaker 1: I was like, we're gonna cut the umbilical cord and
Speaker 1: we're gonna trim the mustache. Okay. Second, I don't need
Speaker 1: to play forty dollars for your hair. I can just
Speaker 1: wait ten minutes. I can go from this. Don't free
Speaker 1: to callow in a commercial. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Paris legendary grief sister, Oh my goodness, another gorgeous woman
Speaker 1: with a gorgeous brow coming to the stage. Jamie, Please report,
Speaker 1: Please report to the principal's office. Now, how are you
Speaker 1: color story? I love the coach story beginning? What don't
Speaker 1: we doing tonight? J good am? I what may I start? Well?
Speaker 1: What do you want to just consider? I have a take.
Speaker 1: I know I'm penultimate, but I have a strong, strong take.
Speaker 1: The word will begin now. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: middle school horse girls, who the fuck do you think
Speaker 1: you are? I don't know when it became the epitome
Speaker 1: of young Caucasian womanhood to straddle an oversized dog with
Speaker 1: teeth the size of my fist. But that's out of
Speaker 1: my tax bracket and quite honestly, my comfort zone. I
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, honey. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to Bible study and straddle a dog. I simply don't.
Speaker 1: I also do firmly believe that every middle school horse
Speaker 1: girl is actively campaigning a smear campaign on any girl
Speaker 1: who doesn't also play the piccolo. So, honey, I would
Speaker 1: like to personally say, why be a middle school horse
Speaker 1: girl when you could be a middle school back braise
Speaker 1: o bow players. It's a little too into porny Roman mythology.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. That's one minute A real question
Speaker 1: post there now the question of why, Wow, you guys,
Speaker 1: we are down to our last performer, and this woman
Speaker 1: this woman. Her writing on television shows has shaped all
Speaker 1: of our comedic voices, the iconic Tammy Fanny sega, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it makes it makes me proud, It makes
Speaker 1: me proud. All right, Tammy, we have the trouball here,
Speaker 1: it be there without you. What are your god? Why
Speaker 1: do you thinking? What do you got? I don't need
Speaker 1: the trouble because I'm looking at my troubal Oh okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means, but your time begins now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, making me be the closer, okay, bitch,
Speaker 1: I don't do stand up. I can't close anything. I'm talking,
Speaker 1: not even a fucking cupboard in my home. And maybe
Speaker 1: I do that so I can pretend I live with
Speaker 1: an inconsiderate man. But I don't close, okay. And I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. People who prepared and turned to
Speaker 1: look and emailed you in advance because they have another
Speaker 1: show to go to the other walk that all night.
Speaker 1: I see you, Sabrina Jelise, and I read through that
Speaker 1: sharpie that showed that she took my spot. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. People who use the trouble tonight even
Speaker 1: fucking killed it every single one of them, because I've
Speaker 1: listened to that. I don't think so, honey, and they
Speaker 1: have not always even known who they were there, like
Speaker 1: John for Anderson, I don't know that, or Alex Song.
Speaker 1: You are an adorable improviser, but here you say what
Speaker 1: is the trouble? Maybe hate you for a brief second take.
Speaker 1: So those of you who are plodded cheer when we
Speaker 1: came at New York Comedians because New York might be
Speaker 1: making my hair gray. But you all are not brave
Speaker 1: for choosing great weather and copious entertainment comedy. That's one minute.
Speaker 1: You're not brave. You are not it was brave. Please
Speaker 1: give it up for Taylor swim Smith and Tammy Listen.
Speaker 1: I'll be the first two minute. I moved here because
Speaker 1: I'm a coward and not moving here because there's nothing
Speaker 1: left for me there. Everyone has Abster, Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for coming here, Bow and Yank senses love. My
Speaker 1: name is Matt Rogers. Thank you to everyone. We're gonna
Speaker 1: say all their names. Lauren Hols, Alexis Cheese, Kansas Thompson,
Speaker 1: Big Dipper, I'll ask a thunderful gay believe w town
Speaker 1: Backs Sabrina Julie's just ping a fucking clap, Mean christ As,
Speaker 1: Tony Newsom, Price, Peterson, Dan Robert, Michael, Benjamin and Milliam
Speaker 1: Sacknoy Towers, My Castle, It Different, Zaylauren Labkus, Jackie Johnson,
Speaker 1: that a Title Man, Emily Five Buster at SUSA, Nicole Cleman,
Speaker 1: Jimmy Valley, Jared Dolson, John Harmon, Peter Kim, Justin Sayer, Catarty,
Speaker 1: reprew It, Drew Grab, John Rollo, Casey Liefa Harry, Chelsea Davison, Francesco,
Speaker 1: Lydia Popovich, Alexandra Ford, su smith A, Lissa Embarrass, Jamie Loftus,
Speaker 1: Danny say I love you, Thank you so much for coming,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Thank you, by bye. This has
Speaker 1: been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baham,
Speaker 1: Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please
Speaker 1: visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 1: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
Speaker 1: us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and
Speaker 1: liking our page on Facebook