1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I and 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 1: Matt and today we're talking about the Power of Habit 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: with Charles do Higg. Charles Duhigg is a Pultzer Prize 4 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: winning journalist who writes for The New Yorker, in New 5 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,519 Speaker 1: York Times Magazine, and other publications. He is also the 6 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: author of bestsellers The Power of Habit and Smarter, Faster, Better, 7 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: and he's the host of Slate's podcast how To. As 8 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: a business experts self help expert, Charles explores habit formation 9 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: and the science of productivity in order to help folks 10 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: on a day to day basis. We are excited to 11 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: have him join us to talk about how we can 12 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: implement better habits and particularly when it comes to our 13 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: personal finances and how we can lead a more productive So, Charles, 14 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: thank you for joining us today on the podcast. Thanks 15 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: for having me h Charles, We're we're glad to have you. 16 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: End every episode of this podcast, Matt and now we 17 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: talk about money, but at the same time, we drink 18 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: a craft beer. And that's because we are fans of 19 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: people prioritizing something that matters in their financial life. Uh, 20 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: in the here and now. While they're also saving and 21 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: investing well for the future, so I want to know. 22 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: That's kind of our splurge. What is your splurge? What's 23 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: your craft beer equivalent? My craft beer equivalent? Um, I 24 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 1: mean I I buy a lot of like gadgets I 25 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: find like I I love to to to check out 26 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: the latest gadgets and and uh and play with them. 27 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: So that's probably my splurge. What was the last gadget 28 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: you bought? Then that's a good question. Um, well, I 29 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: just bought an e bike, so yeah, you work in 30 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: our language. It has not arrived yet, but when it does, 31 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: I'm excited to check it out. Did you happen to 32 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: purchase the new Radwagon. No I didn't. I actually did 33 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: buy from rad though. I bought the the not the 34 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: rad Runner. They got like a city one or something 35 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: like that. Not the City Um the in fact here, 36 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: let me look at up. I can't remember exactly which 37 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 1: one it was. It's the one with the fat wheels 38 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,359 Speaker 1: where you can kind of ride over maybe you're able 39 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: to ride over that rover. That's what I bought, the 40 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: rad Rover I heard. It feels like that you're like 41 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: biking on a sofa because it's so comfortable, it's like 42 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: a cat. I've got the rad Wagon. So Charles, just 43 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: heads up, you're gonna love it. Do you like it? Oh? 44 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: I love it? Man. I put my one year old 45 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: on the back. We we bike all over town. It's 46 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: the greatest thing in the world. Yeah. I mean, just 47 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 1: e bikes in general are amazing. They are are such 48 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,359 Speaker 1: a way forward for individuals to be able to take 49 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 1: on bike commuting. Uh, even losing a car, like cutting 50 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: a car from their lives. You know, just the ability 51 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: to get across town with an e bike is completely 52 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: changed the game. We're huge fans of it. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah, Charles, 53 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,959 Speaker 1: I saw that you've been featured. You've been a guest 54 00:02:56,120 --> 00:03:00,080 Speaker 1: on the now defunct Colbert Report. Yes, I've actually in 55 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: the audience before. Was that a fun experience for you? 56 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: What was that like? Yeah? It was great. It was great. 57 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: I mean, he's he's a fantastic host, and um and 58 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: the whole show is kind of fun. You know. I 59 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: think anytime the shows like that like it, it actually 60 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: goes by very very quickly. Um and so, but now, 61 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: were I really enjoyed it? It It was fantastic. Yeah, he 62 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: was that was kind of an incredible role that he 63 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: had for those years. It might not work, um, Matt 64 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: and I were discussing as well right now in today's time. 65 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: But it was so good when he because it was 66 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: a parody back then. But today it's like, oh no, 67 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 1: like all folks are taking it that extreme in real life. 68 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: It's it's almost not as funny anymore, whereas you know, 69 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: years ago it was hilarious exactly, U, Charles. Let's talk 70 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: about your podcast. We're fans first of the name of 71 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: your podcast, by the way, you're one word away from 72 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: the perfect podcast name. But let's talk about some of 73 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: the topics you've covered on your podcast. How too. There's 74 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: one really interesting one that you did, um not too 75 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: long ago about convincing people to give you money. You 76 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: highlighted that con artists and folks that run on profits 77 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: is being especially good at this. So what do you 78 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: what did you learn in that episode about how to 79 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: effectively get people to give you money? Well, we had 80 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: on this this woman named Maria Konakova, who wrote a 81 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: book about con artists and about how con artists work. 82 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: Who actually she just published another book called The Big 83 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: Bad about her learning to become a poker professional. And 84 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: and what Marina Maria says in her book which is 85 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: really interesting, and she points out that you know, the 86 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: con artists kind of operate according to a formula, and 87 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: part of that formula is basically knowing who their mark 88 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: is and what their mark wants to here, and then 89 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,159 Speaker 1: tailoring their pitch to that and giving it a sense 90 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: of exclusiveness, giving it a sense of scarcity, um, giving 91 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: it something where they believe that they are they are 92 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: they're helping other people, although they are also helping themselves. 93 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: So one of the one of the best cons is 94 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: something where where the person is going to make money. 95 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,279 Speaker 1: They believe that they're going to make money. By giving 96 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: you some money, they're going to make more money. But 97 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: it's also like, well, you're also helping, like the chill Aldren, right, 98 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 1: You're helping like you know, some someone off in another country. Um, 99 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: you're doing a real favor to them because that way 100 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 1: they can dress up their own greed and kind of 101 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 1: this need for virtuousness. And what's really interesting is that 102 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 1: when you talk to folks who do nonprofit fundraising, a 103 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: lot of the tactics are very very similar that that 104 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: you need to tell people that even though they're giving 105 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: money to a cause, like to a nonprofit, you need 106 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 1: to tell them how it's going to benefit them. But 107 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 1: then you dress it up in this you know, you're 108 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: making the world a better place and we're gonna put 109 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: your name on a building. So it's really all about 110 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: sort of like about how awesome you are, but we're 111 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: gonna we're gonna let you have a self righteousness that 112 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,479 Speaker 1: allows you to to feel like you're doing this for 113 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: the for the right reasons. And so that was really 114 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: interesting is to sort of figure out like, like what 115 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: we know is that we know that there is the 116 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:57,719 Speaker 1: psychology behind why people how people treat their money. Right, 117 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 1: you guys know this, And so a lot of the 118 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: the tactics that con artists use aren't that dissimilar from 119 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: the tactics that that fundraisers use, even when they're doing 120 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: it for a good cause. Yeah, and even in a 121 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: less con artist type of way, you can use those approaches. 122 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: You can use those tactics when it comes to like say, 123 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: asking for a raise, right, you know, if you are 124 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: trying to convince your employer that how it is that 125 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,799 Speaker 1: you are helping them, how you're helping the company. Well, 126 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: that's literally what you need to do when you actually 127 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: are asking for a raise the chars. More recently, I 128 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: think my favorite episode was one that you did about 129 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: a seeing virtual schooling, you know, on Zoom What did 130 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 1: you what did you take away from that episode about 131 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 1: how to think about our kids and screen time and 132 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,599 Speaker 1: you know, these COVID times. Well, it's really hard, right, 133 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that like kids are suffering right now, 134 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: way more than than we even understand. I have two 135 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: children myself, and they've been doing virtual school. Now they're 136 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: back in and well one of them is back in 137 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:53,279 Speaker 1: day to day school and the other one is still 138 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 1: virtual schooling. It's really really challenging. And and I think 139 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: that one of the things that we've learned is just 140 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 1: that this interact ativity is really important, That being being 141 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: with other people is really important. If you can't be 142 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,560 Speaker 1: with other people, that figuring out how to foster conversation, 143 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: you know, I've found this on my own doing Zoom calls. 144 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys have to that one of the 145 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: challenges is that you lose all of this kind of 146 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: ease of what's known as back channeling within psychology that 147 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: people saying yes, sort of showing with their body whether 148 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: they're following along or they're distracted. Even when people are thinking, 149 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: it's harder to know that on zoom. If you're sitting 150 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: in a room with someone, oftentimes we use eye contact 151 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: to signal when someone else should feel free to speak, right. 152 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: We tend not to look at each other in the 153 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: eyes when we're speaking, but then when we finished the thought, 154 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 1: we tend to look at someone else in the eyes, 155 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: and that's kind of a an almost unconscious signal that 156 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: that person can go ahead and start speaking. The problem 157 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: is on Zoom if someone's you know, if you're sitting 158 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: in a room with someone and they're looking off into 159 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: the corner, which is totally normal, you could look in 160 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: the corner and see that they're not looking at anything, 161 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: and you know that they're sort of just thinking about 162 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: what they're saying. On Zoom, if they're looking off into 163 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: a corner, it looks like they're distracted or we don't 164 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: know what they're looking at. And so this distance communication 165 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: has been really challenging in some ways. I think it's 166 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: actually more challenging with Zoom than it is without Zoom. 167 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: I think verbal communication is actually easier in some respects 168 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: than verbal plus video. And so when it comes to 169 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: kids and Zoom school, one of the things that we've 170 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: learned is that you really have to spend some time 171 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 1: thinking about how are you going to keep that kid engaged? 172 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 1: How are you going to make it easier for them 173 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: to pay attention, because it's just so hard, so easy 174 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: to get distracted and to kind of tune out. Yeah, 175 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 1: now that's that's true. I found that with my kids, 176 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: and especially a kindergartener, trying to get used to UM 177 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 1: school in the first place, much less school virtually. It's 178 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: um it's pretty rough. It's pretty rough. Charles. Let's talk 179 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: about habits for just a little bit. Your best selling book, 180 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: The Power of Habit. It's just really really good and 181 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 1: so many great stories we've in there that brought your 182 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: points home. But what kind of actually spawned your initial 183 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: interest in taking on that subject in general? Well, you know, um, 184 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: I was. I was just interested. And I had this 185 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: basic question, which is like, if I'm if I'm so 186 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: smart at other stuff? Right? I had? I had gone 187 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: to Yale for college and to Harvard Business School for 188 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: to get my m b a. And and yet there 189 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: were all these things, I still felt like I had 190 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: struggled with so much, right, Like I struggled to eat 191 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,439 Speaker 1: more healthily, I struggled to make myself exercise more. And 192 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,319 Speaker 1: I just kept on thinking like if I'm so smart, 193 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: like why is it so hard to do these things 194 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: that I see other people do all the time? Right, 195 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,440 Speaker 1: Like why is it hard for me to master my habits? 196 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: And so so the goal of writing the book was 197 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: in part just to educate myself, like how do habits work? 198 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,319 Speaker 1: If I understand them better, will that help me understand 199 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: how to control my own habits? And it turns out 200 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,240 Speaker 1: that we we are, and we're living through this sort 201 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: of golden age of understanding habit research that that for 202 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: the first time, because of advances in neurology and other 203 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: psychological sciences, that there was this ability to understand and 204 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: observe habits at the mo some my neute level. And 205 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: so once I started looking into that, I thought it 206 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: was fascinating and decided like, that's that's what I want 207 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: to write a book about, because I wanted to learn 208 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:10,679 Speaker 1: it for myself but then also share it with other people. Yeah, 209 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,760 Speaker 1: personal growth, Right, that's a great excuse to dive into 210 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: that research, and in your book as well, you side 211 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: a study that shows that like around daily activities are habits, 212 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: Like we don't even think about them, right, And so 213 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,199 Speaker 1: does this mean that like half of our lives are 214 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 1: like we're just reacting to cues. Uh, and you know 215 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: we're kind of doing things just mostly without thinking. Makes 216 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 1: me thinko'me a robot or something. Yeah, So it's fort 217 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: And what it means is, I mean to be clear, 218 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: what a habit is. A habit is a choice that 219 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,079 Speaker 1: you make at some point and then you stop making 220 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: the choice, but you continue doing it. Right, So, so 221 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:47,080 Speaker 1: the first time that you walked into the um, you know, 222 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: walked into the cafeteria work, you decided to go get 223 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: a sandwich instead of a salad, even though the salad 224 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: was was healthier, and then you just kept on doing 225 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: that without kind of consciously making the decision. What we 226 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: know is that our brains are designed to actually basically 227 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 1: kind of stop stop spending so much energy when we're 228 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 1: in the grip of a habit. That's why habits are 229 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: so useful, is because they free up cognitive capacity for 230 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: other tasks, even when we're driving to work or walking 231 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: down the Street. So what that means is that you 232 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 1: know of what we do every day. At some point 233 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: you made a decision on how to spend that time, 234 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: but then you just kind of continued on autopilot with 235 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 1: according to that decision without reconsidering it. And so the 236 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: more that you can sort of analyze your own habits 237 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: and say like, oh, look, I'm doing this behavior because 238 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: of a habit and there's a queue and there's a 239 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:42,559 Speaker 1: reward that's driving that activity that routine, the more control 240 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 1: you get over actually making making the habits that you 241 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: want to have rather than the ones that just kind 242 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 1: of emerge without our permission. Charles, we want to talk 243 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: more about habit formation and get your tips on breaking 244 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,080 Speaker 1: bad habits, and this of course applies to how we 245 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: handle money at the same time. We'll get to some 246 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: of that right after this break. All right, we are 247 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: back from the break talking with Charles do Hig about 248 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: habits and Charles, you write about specifically the habit loop 249 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: in your book, but I'd love to discuss how we 250 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: can break bad habits that we might have fallen into. 251 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: Right um, bad habits they can call it cause us 252 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: to spend money, maybe emotionally waste time on social media 253 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: other things. Right, you write how habits can develop into 254 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: even a massive gambling addiction that's almost impossible to curb. 255 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: You give an example in your book. So how in 256 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: the world do we actually kick a bad habit? Well, 257 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: the first thing is is to to to realize that 258 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,079 Speaker 1: thinking in terms of breaking a bad habit is exactly 259 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: the wrong way to think about it. And that's part 260 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,719 Speaker 1: of the lexicon. Right we say, like, I want to 261 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,840 Speaker 1: break a bad habit, but that's not how habits work. 262 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: We can't we with willpower, you might be able to 263 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: extinguish a habit you don't like for a little while, 264 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: but as soon as you feel stressed or as soon as, 265 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,199 Speaker 1: like you know, you have a moment of weakness, it's 266 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,839 Speaker 1: going to come back because that neural pathway is still 267 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: in your brain. So the way to think about it 268 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 1: is as changing a bad habit, replacing one behavior with 269 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: another behavior, rather than breaking that bad habit. And to 270 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: to do that you have to understand how habits work. 271 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: And you mentioned the habit loop. So the thing about 272 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: habits is that every habit has three parts. There's a 273 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,319 Speaker 1: queue which is a trigger for an automatic behavior to start, 274 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: and then the routine, which is the behavior itself, and 275 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 1: then finally a reward. Every habit in your life, whether 276 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,559 Speaker 1: you're aware of it or not, is delivering a reward 277 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 1: to you, and and a part of your brain known 278 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 1: as the basical ganglia exists to kind of recognize that 279 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: reward and make that that chunk of behavior, that Q 280 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:47,840 Speaker 1: routine reward easier and easier to do for you. So 281 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: if you have a bad habit and you want to 282 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 1: change it, the first thing to do is to identify 283 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: the que and the reward. Try and figure out, you know, 284 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 1: what is triggering this behavior and what reward is it 285 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 1: delivering it to me, and then find a new behavior, 286 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: a new routine that you can insert into that habit 287 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 1: loop that corresponds to that old queue and that delivers 288 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 1: something similar to that old reward. So for many people, 289 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,559 Speaker 1: let's take smoking as an example, right, because we think 290 00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: of smoking as a as a particularly pernicious habit, an addiction, 291 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: and and nicotine is addicting. It's actually less addicting than 292 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: we sort of popularly know. It is. About a hundred 293 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 1: hours after your last cigarette, nicotine is out of your blood, 294 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: your blood system, your bloodstream, and people are no longer 295 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: physically addicted to nicotine. So it's less the drug and 296 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: it's more the habit. Is what you're saying, Well, yeah, exactly. 297 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 1: People get in the habit of smoking, and so you know, 298 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 1: weeks after giving up cigarettes, years, they still feel that 299 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: urge for a cigarette when they're sitting down with their 300 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: morning coffee. You know, if you have that urge years 301 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 1: after giving them cigarettes, that's clearly not a physical addiction, 302 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: that's a habit dysfunction. But but habits exist in the 303 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 1: same part of our brain as addictions, and so they 304 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 1: feel very, very similar. And so if you want to 305 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 1: of up cigarettes, you can. You can just go cold 306 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: turkey and throw them away. But a better thing to 307 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: do is to try and figure out, Okay, what reward 308 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: is smoking giving me? And for many people it's that 309 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: um smoking provides a break from work, right, so you 310 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: need something else that's going to provide a break from work, 311 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: some some new routine that delivers similar reward. For some people, 312 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: smoking actually calms them down, right, It's the nicotine has 313 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: a kind of calming effect, in which case they need 314 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: to find something else to calm themselves down. And for 315 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 1: some people it's um it's gives them a little bit 316 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: more energy. So they need to start drinking coffee when 317 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: they would normally smoke in order to replace that behavior. 318 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: But that's kind of the point, is that you don't 319 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: break a bad habit, you change it. And once you 320 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: change it, then that that change becomes much more sustainable. 321 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 1: And what about just forming a new habit, like just 322 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: out of the blue? Right? Um? And And we're in 323 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: a time of year where people are probably particularly thinking 324 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: about starting a new habit and creating, you know, some 325 00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: change in their lives. And so you know, a lot 326 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: of our listeners particularly are like, how can I maybe 327 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: spend more mindfully this year or actually stick to a budget. 328 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: If they're looking to start from scratch to create a 329 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 1: good habit right now, where do you suggest they start? 330 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 1: So this is a great question. We actually just recorded 331 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: a podcast episode about this, it's gonna be gonna be 332 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: coming out next week about how to create good spending habits. 333 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 1: And and there's a couple of things that people should 334 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 1: keep in mind. Number one is is you know, first 335 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,600 Speaker 1: of all, you just have to have the basic like 336 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 1: sort of money hygiene. So like, if you have debt, 337 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: you should be paying down your debt. If you you 338 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: should absolutely have a budget, Like if you don't have 339 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 1: a monthly and a weekly budget, then and if you're 340 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: not tracking what you're spending, then you don't know what 341 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 1: is going on in your own finances and you can't 342 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: possibly be on top of it. So so there's some 343 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:52,760 Speaker 1: basic money hygiene stuff that everyone should do. But then 344 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: on top of that, like the question is how do 345 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: we think about the habits, you know, a lot of 346 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,080 Speaker 1: the spending that we do. So when people finally you 347 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: get their budget and they and they track what they've 348 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 1: spend every week, what they see is they see that 349 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: they're wasting a lot of money, right, They're oftentimes wasting 350 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: money on things like going to Starbucks. They're wasting money 351 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,120 Speaker 1: on you know, buying, particularly during the pandemic, buying things 352 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,879 Speaker 1: from Amazon. One woman, this woman we were talking to yesterday, 353 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: I said, she feels anxious if she doesn't have an 354 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: Amazon package coming, which which sounds ridiculous, but I totally understand, 355 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 1: right because I think lots of people feel that way. 356 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 1: And then and then on top of that is this 357 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,639 Speaker 1: this question of what are the rewards that these are providing? 358 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: You know, people spend too much money going to restaurants 359 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,399 Speaker 1: and on food. That's always something that people overspend on. 360 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,200 Speaker 1: They buy too much food, or they buy food from restaurants, 361 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: or they're going to you know, um, Whole Foods rather 362 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 1: than the local grocery store that's cheaper. And so once 363 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: you know what your habits are by tracking what you're 364 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: actually doing, then you can start asking yourself, Okay, so 365 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: what rewards are this actually providing? Right? Am I buying 366 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: because I'm bored during the pandemic? The answer is often yes, 367 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: people are bored. They need a break from like their 368 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 1: zoom calls, their online and they go to Amazon, or 369 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 1: they go to one of these websites that like has 370 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 1: like you know, here's like the ten new things you 371 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: should buy, or extra Instagram, which is just constantly feeding 372 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 1: you stuff to buy two now, yeah, exactly exactly, And 373 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 1: so like, are you buying stuff because you need it? 374 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 1: Are you buying stuff because you're bored? Chances are you're 375 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,680 Speaker 1: buying stuff because you're bored very often, and so then 376 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: the question becomes Okay, so the answer is not to 377 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,360 Speaker 1: just say I'm going to stop going to those websites, 378 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: because you're still going to be bored the answer is 379 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: to say, how do I come up with something else 380 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 1: that solves that boredom? How do I come up with 381 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: something else that provides the reward that I used to 382 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 1: get from shopping, which is some novelty, some sense of 383 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 1: excitement about the future. And there's lots of different ways 384 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 1: to do that, right, Like, once you once you pose 385 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: the problem that way, you can say, oh, instead of 386 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 1: instead of like, you know, if I'm bored, instead of 387 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 1: like going and surfing to the website, I'm gonna let 388 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: myself watch ten minutes of TV. Right, I'm gonna turn 389 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: on a TV show and I'm gonna watch it on 390 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 1: my computer. Instead of going to Amazon, I'm just for 391 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 1: ten minutes. I'm gonna go to our Instagram for ten minutes. 392 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and I'm gonna watch The Queen's Gambit 393 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: for ten minutes, right, and like I'm gonna set a timer. 394 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,440 Speaker 1: But the point is that, like that's a cheaper way 395 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 1: of solving your borda. And the more that you break 396 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: it down and you say, what rewards is this spending 397 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 1: giving me, the more you're gonna get closer to figuring 398 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 1: out a way to make it easier for yourself. Right, Yeah, 399 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,400 Speaker 1: you shared another example to where it's just snacking can 400 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: be a habit when in reality you realize that you're 401 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 1: not hungry, you're just looking for some socialization. I know 402 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: I kind of fall into that same trap when I 403 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: you know, I'm sitting here working, I have a tendency 404 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,879 Speaker 1: to to think, Okay, maybe it's time for another coffee, 405 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,679 Speaker 1: but what I really need is just a break. And 406 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: so even just standing up grabbing a kettlebell, which is yeah, 407 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: it's also a healthy kind of thing to do. But 408 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,120 Speaker 1: like doing some kettle bells wings gets the blood flow 409 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,199 Speaker 1: and and all of a sudden, I'm feeling ready to 410 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,159 Speaker 1: continue working. Absolutely absolutely so, Like I think that's exactly right. Like, 411 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: like we want something, we want an excuse to stand 412 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 1: up and walk around, and the easiest way to stand 413 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 1: up and walk around is to walk over to the 414 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,199 Speaker 1: kitchen and get something to eat. But like you just 415 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 1: as easily stand up, and once you realize that what 416 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,439 Speaker 1: you really want is to stand up and walk around, 417 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 1: you can stand up and walk around the other direction 418 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,119 Speaker 1: and pick up a cattle bell, or you know, just 419 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: go outside and walk around the block, walk away from 420 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 1: the fridge. Exactly uh. Well. In your book To the 421 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: Power of Habit, Charles You, you also credit community and 422 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,679 Speaker 1: peer pressure as reasons why certain habits tend to remain sticky. 423 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,400 Speaker 1: Given the increased isolation so many of us have felt 424 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: during the pandemic, and obviously the decrease in in person community, 425 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 1: how have you seen that impact individuals in the you know, 426 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 1: the way they exhibit habits and behaviors. Well, I think 427 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 1: that strangely, like actually people feel are feeling. Many people 428 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 1: are feeling a stronger sense of community during the pandemic. 429 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 1: They tend you know, one of the things that undermines 430 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:52,120 Speaker 1: community is um not spending enough time with the same 431 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 1: group of people. So so one of the things that 432 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,159 Speaker 1: we know is that like having a community doesn't It 433 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 1: doesn't matter how many people are in the community. It 434 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 1: matters how much time you're spending with those people. And 435 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 1: so in many of our daily lives, you can be around, 436 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 1: you know, a hundred people in a day, a d 437 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,959 Speaker 1: people in a day, but you're not really interacting with 438 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 1: many of them for more than a couple of minutes. 439 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 1: If you take like alcoholics Anonymous as an example, one 440 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: of the important things about alcoholics Anonymous is that it's 441 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: very stable. It tends as a state, it has a 442 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: it typically has a very stable time. It happens the 443 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 1: same time every day, very stable UM structure. It usually 444 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,679 Speaker 1: opens with someone telling a story about themselves, and you know, 445 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: you sort of say these similar these similar things each time. 446 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,959 Speaker 1: And equally importantly, you tend to have a pretty stable 447 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 1: group of people there, so you see the same people 448 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: usually each time you go to Alcoholics Anonymous, and that 449 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:48,920 Speaker 1: stability is an important part of why that community feels supportive. 450 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: So one of the things that's happening right now with 451 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: the pandemic is you're exactly right. We see less people 452 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: and so our community has shrunk, but we tend to 453 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 1: spend a lot more time with the people that we 454 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: see because we're at home with them um and so, 455 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 1: or we're on zoom calls with them all day long. 456 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: And so what we found is that for some people, 457 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,680 Speaker 1: community has actually been strengthened in some ways. Now, that 458 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's easier, right, that doesn't mean that like 459 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 1: like that community feels really invigorating, UM, because you have 460 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: to put work into a community and it's not supposed 461 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 1: to feel like fun all the time. But for people 462 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 1: who feel like they're missing community. I think that's part 463 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 1: of the solution is to find find people to touch 464 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: base with, the same people to touch base with on 465 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 1: a regular basis. So to have a regular, you know, 466 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 1: once a week zoom call with your friend where you 467 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: guys know you're going to get on at Friday at 468 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,920 Speaker 1: noon every every week and you're gonna have a zoom 469 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: lunch together. That's really important. Charles. You also end up 470 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: boiling a whole lot down to the power of belief. 471 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 1: You know, why is beliefs so important? And how do 472 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 1: we develop like a deeper sense of belief in ourselves 473 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,679 Speaker 1: in order to affect change? Well? Is so so belief 474 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: believing that you can change is really important to making change, 475 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 1: um effective. And what we know about belief is that 476 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,320 Speaker 1: the best way to actually to to actually learn to 477 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: believe in yourself is to practice believing in in anything. Right, 478 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 1: like so again to return to Alcoholics anonymous. Not that 479 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: a A is like perfect, but but there's a lot 480 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,240 Speaker 1: of sort of interesting lessons there. Um. One of the 481 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 1: one of the steps in A is that they tell 482 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: you to believe in a higher power. Now they don't 483 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 1: say it has to be religious They don't say it 484 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 1: has to be God. It could be like, you know, 485 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,400 Speaker 1: my higher power is democracy. But but they do encourage 486 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: you to believe in something larger than yourself. And I 487 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: think the reason why that's so important is because basically 488 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 1: what they're doing is they're getting people to practice believing 489 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 1: in things, and eventually that muscle, that believing muscle, gets 490 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: strengthened and people can learn how to believe in themselves. 491 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: And so the thing that like, I think is really 492 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: helpful if if people are struggling with things is and 493 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: they want to build up their capacity to believe that 494 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: they can change is what's known as the science of 495 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,439 Speaker 1: small winds. Basically to take these baby steps. What we 496 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,000 Speaker 1: know about change happens is that most change happens because 497 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 1: people have small, incremental, nonlinear successes that lead up to 498 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,239 Speaker 1: a big change. So so instead of saying I'm going 499 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,640 Speaker 1: to go around a marathon, they say tomorrow morning, I'm 500 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 1: going to go for a walk around the block. And 501 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: they go for a walk around the block and it's 502 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: not that hard, and they they they have this small wind, right, 503 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 1: I go in for a block and they believe, like 504 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 1: I am, I'm the kind of person who can go 505 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: for a walk around the block and then the next 506 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: day they say, okay, so I went for a walk 507 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,160 Speaker 1: around the block. Now I'm gonna go around the walk 508 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: for two blocks, and they do that, and eventually they 509 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 1: get so tired of just walking there, like I'm gonna 510 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,920 Speaker 1: take a jog, and I'm gonna jog for half a mile, 511 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: and these small baby steps the science of small winds, 512 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 1: that is how we learn to believe in ourselves is 513 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:48,400 Speaker 1: by practicing belief in smaller, low stakes cases. And that's 514 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 1: really really important because we can do that for anything, 515 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 1: whether it's saving money or getting in better shape. As 516 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 1: long as you can sort of find some ways to 517 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 1: take baby steps, then you know that you're going to 518 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 1: be in a position where you can train yourself to 519 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: believe that change as possible. Yeah, yeah, no, that's awesome. 520 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,959 Speaker 1: I love that insight from the book for sure, and 521 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 1: it really is powerful. It's something that we can use 522 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: to our advantage. Charles, we have just a few more 523 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 1: questions for you in including what it looks like to 524 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,400 Speaker 1: create a to do list that we can actually um 525 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: take charge of and and do well that will actually 526 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: influence us for the better. And we'll get to some 527 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: of those questions right after this break. All right, we're 528 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 1: back to the break talking with Charles do Hig about habits, 529 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 1: and Charles, before we talk about, you know, kind of 530 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: optimizing our life, I wanted to touch real quickly too. 531 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 1: On keystone habits. You mentioned that in your book. Uh, 532 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 1: you mentioned how they can kind of create habit momentum 533 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:44,960 Speaker 1: in your life, you know, And so can you share 534 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 1: what keystone habits are and why it is that they're 535 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 1: so important? Yeah, So keystone habits. One of the things 536 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 1: that we've learned from research on habits is that some 537 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 1: habits seem to matter more than others because when they 538 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 1: start to change, they set up a chain reaction that 539 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: changes other patterns as well. So an example of this 540 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,159 Speaker 1: is exercised, right, for many people exercises a keystone habits, 541 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 1: and when they start exercising habitually, what happens is they 542 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 1: start eating more healthily as well. They're they're eating habits 543 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 1: change and and that kind of weirdly makes sense to us. Right, 544 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 1: everyone's kind of experienced that you go for a run 545 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: in the morning, and then when you go to have lunch, 546 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 1: it's easier to get the salad rather than the unhealthy hamburger. 547 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: But what's interesting is that when we look at people 548 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 1: who have started exercising habitually, for many of them, when 549 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:30,240 Speaker 1: that habit starts, they also start using their credit cards less. 550 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: They tend to procrastinate less at work. They this is 551 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,440 Speaker 1: my favorite finding, they do their dishes like, wash their 552 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 1: dishes on average twenty minutes earlier in the day on 553 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,240 Speaker 1: they've exercised. And and that makes lesson to it have 554 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 1: sense to us, right like none of us think of 555 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: of ourselves is going out for a run and think like, oh, 556 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep my amex in my pockets today rather 557 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: than taking it out. And yet what we know is 558 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: that the same way that the exercise habits change eating habits, 559 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 1: they change other patterns in our lives as well. And 560 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,639 Speaker 1: that's because for many people exercises a keystone habit. It 561 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,959 Speaker 1: changes how we see ourselves and that change has an 562 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 1: almost subconscious influence on other choices that we make. And 563 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 1: so for many people that the question is, how can 564 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,400 Speaker 1: you identify the keystone habits in your life the changes 565 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: you can make that will set off a chain reaction 566 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: that will change other patterns. And the answer is to 567 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 1: look for those changes that kind of seem irrationally scary. Right. 568 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: For the reason why exercise is such a powerful keystone 569 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,800 Speaker 1: habit for so many people is because oftentimes, um it's 570 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: it's it's not a keystone habit for people who are 571 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: like high school athletes, like people who are accustomed to 572 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: seeing themselves as athletic, usually will not see a big 573 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 1: change in their life when they start exercising on a 574 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,240 Speaker 1: regular basis after like a period of inactivity. But it's 575 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,120 Speaker 1: for people who were not high school athletes, the people 576 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 1: who never thought of themselves as athletes, when they start running, 577 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,000 Speaker 1: you know, three times a week, they start subtly thinking 578 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: of themselves as a different kind of person. They start 579 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 1: thinking of them is the kind of person who manages 580 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 1: to run three times a week, and that that kind 581 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 1: of person doesn't spend recklessly, that kind of person doesn't 582 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 1: eat unhealthily. And so the key is to look for 583 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: those types of change that seems irrationally scary to you. 584 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,360 Speaker 1: And that's usually a clue that if you change it, 585 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: it will change yourself image a little bit, and that 586 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,679 Speaker 1: that will have an impact on the other patterns in 587 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,199 Speaker 1: your life. So, are there any things that you found 588 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,239 Speaker 1: in going through all the research and through writing your 589 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: book that any keystone happens that particularly affected how we 590 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: handle our money. So thinking of yourself as a saver, right, 591 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 1: like the like like somebody who. So, So here's how 592 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 1: I do my money. I use Mint to track all 593 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,479 Speaker 1: of my purchases right sizing all my bank accounts every 594 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: single week. Once a week, I sit down and I 595 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: have a spreadsheet on Excel, and I fill in all 596 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 1: these things in the spreadsheet with how much money is 597 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 1: in my is in my bank accounts, how much credit 598 00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: card like, how much is on my credit cards right 599 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 1: now out? How much is in my four oh one K, 600 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,760 Speaker 1: how much is in my investments I have like you know, 601 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 1: ten or twelve cells that I fill in on that spreadsheet. 602 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 1: And then there's a little formulas that tell me how 603 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,680 Speaker 1: much I spent compared to last week, how much more, 604 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: how much money is in whether my net balance is 605 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: up or down from last week, how much money I've 606 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 1: made overall, except you know, how much how much more 607 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: is on my credit card or less on my credit card? 608 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: And and so this is a habit for me. I 609 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 1: do it every single week. And the thing that it 610 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: does is it makes me very, very aware of the 611 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 1: money patterns in my life. It also makes me think 612 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,880 Speaker 1: of myself as someone who thinks about money, who thinks 613 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 1: about like and cares about where my money is going. 614 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,840 Speaker 1: And I think in part that's why writing a budget 615 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: and tracking your own spending is so powerful, is because 616 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: not only does it give you the data to kind 617 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 1: of see what's going on and see where you're spending 618 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 1: too much, but if you do it regularly, if you 619 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: stick with that budget, if you look each day to 620 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 1: see what you spent on or each week, you start 621 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 1: thinking of your off as the kind of person who 622 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: cares about where their money is going. And that kind 623 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 1: of person, that kind of person does not make frivolous 624 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: purchases quite as easily. And so the number one keystone 625 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: habit for people around money that can change how they 626 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,720 Speaker 1: spend is to create a budget and update their budget regularly, 627 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: because that habit not only gives you information, but it 628 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 1: also changes how you see yourself when it comes to money. 629 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, That change and identity is what 630 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 1: happens there. Charles. In your book Smarter, Faster Better, you 631 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: talk more about focus in an age of information overload, 632 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,719 Speaker 1: in the world of personal finance, you know, information can 633 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: be blinding, and so how do we filter the information 634 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,680 Speaker 1: that is helpful versus the stuff that we should probably ignore. 635 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,880 Speaker 1: The first thing to understand is that is that more 636 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 1: information is not better. Oftentimes it's worse. Right. You can 637 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 1: you can overwhelm yourself with with information and basically not 638 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 1: learn anything as a result. So the key is that 639 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 1: you really don't want more than at the most three 640 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,920 Speaker 1: data points that you're paying attention to, and it's pretty 641 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 1: and like if you have lesson three, that's even better. 642 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: So like at first you can just say, look, I 643 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:14,160 Speaker 1: want to I want to compare um, you know my 644 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 1: my bank account balances this week with the same time 645 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 1: last week, and see if they've gone up and down. 646 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,440 Speaker 1: And I want to compare you know how much I 647 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: spent on food this week with how much I budgeted 648 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 1: for food this week, and just starting small that way, 649 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: and really like like focusing in on that because that 650 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,400 Speaker 1: whatever we focus on, we're gonna be able to change. 651 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 1: And if you focus on if you have fifteen categories 652 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,640 Speaker 1: in your budget, and each week you look at all 653 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 1: fifteen categories and you're trying to figure out what's going on. 654 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,600 Speaker 1: If you do that at first, you're not gonna make 655 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,400 Speaker 1: any changes. You're gonna be so like overwhelmed by the 656 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: amount of information you have. So the key is at 657 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 1: first choose one or two, at most three data points 658 00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 1: to pay attention to. Now, over time you might get 659 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,320 Speaker 1: to a place where you can do more data points. Right, 660 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: you know, two months down the road, you're like, Okay, 661 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,719 Speaker 1: now I'm looking at two other things. I'm looking at 662 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: food and I'm looking at you know, how much I'm 663 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 1: spending on commuting. But but only once I get food 664 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: under control do I start paying attention to that commuting budget. 665 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: The key is to not let yourself feel productive because 666 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 1: you're looking at a lot of data and not actually 667 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 1: get anything done. The less data you are looking at, 668 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,960 Speaker 1: the higher the odds that you're actually gonna change what 669 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 1: you're paying attention to. That's that's great stuff. Yeah, I 670 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 1: want to ask you to Charles about to do list. Um, 671 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: they're just kind of one of these simple but typically 672 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 1: they ineffective sometimes and super effective depending on how you 673 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,480 Speaker 1: use them. Um, but they can be used really well. 674 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: And you've talked about how you create a better to 675 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 1: do list that that actually helps us get more done. Like, 676 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,640 Speaker 1: what's the trick to making it to do list? It's 677 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 1: actually successful. Yeah, So it's very similar to focus, which 678 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 1: is that that what we know from studies is that 679 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 1: most people create to do lists that have like twenty 680 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 1: or thirty things on them because what they're actually using 681 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,520 Speaker 1: their to do list is as a memory aid rather 682 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 1: than rather than trying to remember things. They put it 683 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,240 Speaker 1: on a piece of paper, and that's great because it's 684 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,400 Speaker 1: much easier to remember things when they're written down than 685 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 1: trying to carry them around in your in your brain. 686 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 1: But then they make this mistake, which is they say, Okay, 687 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 1: this memory aid that I've developed, that's my to do list, 688 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 1: and that's that's not the right way of doing things 689 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 1: because what will happen, and we know this from studies 690 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,640 Speaker 1: is that oftentimes people will look for the easiest things 691 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 1: on that list too and do them because it feels 692 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: so good to cross them off. So I think you 693 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: mentioned that sometimes people write something down that they've already 694 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,680 Speaker 1: done just so they can put People who write to 695 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 1: do list, they'll write down a task they've already completed 696 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,479 Speaker 1: because it feels so good to cross the guilty. So 697 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 1: the key is like you should have a memory aid 698 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: that's a piece of paper, But then you should have 699 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,200 Speaker 1: another piece of paper, which is your to do list, 700 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 1: and you should not have more than three things on 701 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:51,880 Speaker 1: that to do list. And what should be on that 702 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: to do list is number one, the most important thing 703 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,360 Speaker 1: to do today. Number two, if you get that first 704 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,560 Speaker 1: thing done, the next most important thing to do. And 705 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 1: number three what you suspect is the is the most 706 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,959 Speaker 1: important thing for tomorrow, but you might change it when 707 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 1: you write tomorrow's to do list. And you write a 708 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 1: new to do list every single morning. And the goal 709 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,759 Speaker 1: of a to do list is not to simply help 710 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 1: you remember things. It's to prioritize things. And that's why 711 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,279 Speaker 1: you never want more than three things on it is 712 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: because the the act of writing it to do list 713 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,160 Speaker 1: is to force you to to decide what is the 714 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: most important thing I want to get done today, and 715 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: then putting that as the top priority and ignoring everything else. Yeah, 716 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: there's a difference between doing the things that you need 717 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: to do right now versus just all the things that 718 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:36,799 Speaker 1: are in your mind that you want to have a 719 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 1: list of somewhere else. But that's not necessarily your to 720 00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,839 Speaker 1: do list. Exactly right. So, Charles, thank you so much 721 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,319 Speaker 1: for taking the time to hang out with list today. 722 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,640 Speaker 1: Where can people find more about you and your podcast? 723 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,759 Speaker 1: They can find so if they just look for how 724 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,640 Speaker 1: to by how to with Charles do Hig on Slate, 725 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 1: they can find the podcast wherever they listen to podcasts, 726 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 1: and they can find out more about me or about 727 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,719 Speaker 1: the power of habit or smarter fester better just by 728 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 1: googling any of those. Its are going to Charles Doohig 729 00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: dot com or um see doohig on Twitter if you 730 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 1: folks on to follow me. Awesome. Thanks again for your 731 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,759 Speaker 1: time today, Charles, We appreciate it. Take care, Joel May. 732 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,640 Speaker 1: What a great conversation we just had here with Charles 733 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 1: about habits and you know, in particularly this time of 734 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,719 Speaker 1: the year, as folks are basically thinking through like how 735 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,640 Speaker 1: can they become a better person this year, how it 736 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 1: is they can stick to their New Year's resolutions. Talking 737 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 1: about habits and how they're formed and how it is 738 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 1: that we stick to them is so important, Uh soth. 739 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 1: I'm glad we had this conversation today. Man, what was 740 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,359 Speaker 1: your big takeaway today? One? I'm just proud of Charles 741 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,880 Speaker 1: for getting an e bike because the bikes are the future. 742 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 1: So and of course he gets a rat Rat power bike. 743 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,080 Speaker 1: I mean, everybody is getting those bikes these days. They're 744 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 1: so affordable. So even though Charles and I have never 745 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,239 Speaker 1: met in person, we can be best friends. It works. Um, 746 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,719 Speaker 1: you have that kindred spirit exactly. And yeah, it was 747 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,960 Speaker 1: definitely hard to pick one takeaway from this episode. Man, 748 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: it was jam packed full of knowledge and just a 749 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,480 Speaker 1: lot of interesting insight. But I think my biggest one 750 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: was that small winds are so important. And you know, 751 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,160 Speaker 1: one of the things that he said was if you're 752 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,040 Speaker 1: not a natural budget or if you kind of hate 753 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,520 Speaker 1: budgeting in particular, or or really anybody like you should 754 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,279 Speaker 1: focus on fewer data points. And I think when we're 755 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,480 Speaker 1: trying to come up with a budget and you and I, 756 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:10,960 Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe six months ago we had an 757 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: episode where we talked about different styles of budgeting for 758 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 1: different personalities and we mentioned simpler being better. Um, a 759 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,200 Speaker 1: lot of focus us what they need right, and that 760 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,920 Speaker 1: was echoed in this conversation that the simpler your budget, 761 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 1: the more effectively you're gonna be able to stick to it. 762 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,319 Speaker 1: So concentrate maybe on a few data points that most 763 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,359 Speaker 1: negatively impact your budget. Um. And if you can just 764 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,279 Speaker 1: over the course of a few months pay attention to 765 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:37,480 Speaker 1: those two or three things where you find yourself overspending, UM, 766 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 1: then you don't necessarily have to have just this robust 767 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,240 Speaker 1: budget that you're chaking in on on a weekly basis 768 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:44,880 Speaker 1: that's overwhelming you that you're not gonna be able to 769 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 1: stick to. If instead you focus on just a few 770 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,479 Speaker 1: data points, I think it will help you be able 771 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:56,400 Speaker 1: to actually find budgeting as a useful tool um. In one. 772 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,240 Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know, that was my big takeaway, 773 00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,839 Speaker 1: But yeah, there's a lot of goals in this one. 774 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,480 Speaker 1: So what was good? It was good? No, Yeah, I 775 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 1: mean it's certainly the power of focus, right, you know, 776 00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,440 Speaker 1: to focus on a few of those things and make 777 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,040 Speaker 1: sure that you succeed at those things versus getting bogged 778 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,560 Speaker 1: down by all the details. I mean, it's something we 779 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: talked about even in our year end review episode. But 780 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,840 Speaker 1: for me, my big tig away man was kind of 781 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,880 Speaker 1: when we talked about Keystone habits. And he writes more 782 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,279 Speaker 1: about this in his book, but you know, he he 783 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 1: elaborated more here in the conversation. How when you start 784 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,759 Speaker 1: doing something that's really scary to you. How you when 785 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,480 Speaker 1: when you have this irrational fear of doing something. I 786 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,799 Speaker 1: have lots of irrational fears matter, but it should you 787 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,759 Speaker 1: should pay attention to those things, you know, like when 788 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,880 Speaker 1: you feel that way about something, it's like, Okay, what 789 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,279 Speaker 1: is it about this thing that makes me feel that way? 790 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,760 Speaker 1: And he's pointing out that as we confront those fears 791 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 1: and as we change our behaviors, we also change our identity. 792 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,400 Speaker 1: You know. Uh. In particular, he highlighted exercise. For a 793 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,960 Speaker 1: lot of people, they see that as this scary thing, 794 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,720 Speaker 1: like how do you get to the point where you're 795 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,200 Speaker 1: just going to work nine to five and working versus 796 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,000 Speaker 1: you know, seeing the people on the weekends running marathons 797 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,160 Speaker 1: or triathlon It's that kind of thing. There's a wide 798 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,080 Speaker 1: chasm between those two points. Yeah. I thought one of 799 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,240 Speaker 1: the most interesting things that he said about exercise, which 800 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,319 Speaker 1: is always the thing he goes through my mind, is 801 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 1: I don't have enough time to do that. But what 802 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 1: he what he the point he made was that you 803 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 1: people that exercise actually have more time in their lives. 804 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,360 Speaker 1: It's fascinating how the dishes sooner in the day. Yeah, 805 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 1: it's It's fascinating how that works. And so I need 806 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 1: to stop using that as an excuse and start working 807 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:20,439 Speaker 1: on my habit. Yeah. Yeah, And so I just love 808 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 1: the fact that by confronting these fears, though, how you 809 00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 1: literally start thinking of yourself differently. You know, you start 810 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,280 Speaker 1: exercising a little bit, you go for a run around 811 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,839 Speaker 1: the block, and all of a sudden, I am an exerciser, 812 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 1: Like that's just it becomes a part of your identity. 813 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 1: And I love that. Uh. And the same thing when 814 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,680 Speaker 1: it comes to like looking at your money. He knows 815 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: that by looking at his money once a week that 816 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,920 Speaker 1: has changed the way that he views his own personal finances. 817 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,319 Speaker 1: You know, he then sees that, oh, I am a saver. 818 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,600 Speaker 1: This is who I am. It becomes a part of 819 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:48,520 Speaker 1: who you are. And when you have a sense of 820 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 1: identity like that, you are invested to stick with it, 821 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 1: no doubt. So yeah, I hope that information was helpful 822 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,719 Speaker 1: to all of our listeners as they're looking to either 823 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,719 Speaker 1: you know, kick off a new habit this year, um 824 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: in particular, in all likelihood, if they're listening to this 825 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 1: show a positive habit, positive habits and in regard to 826 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,799 Speaker 1: their personal finances, or really just any habit. This was 827 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,520 Speaker 1: a conversation that I think can can help you potentially 828 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,400 Speaker 1: stick to some of those New Year's resolutions that you 829 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,879 Speaker 1: might have already made. Um, all right, now, let's get 830 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,120 Speaker 1: back to the beer that we had while we were 831 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,400 Speaker 1: talking with Charles. This one was called Boys in the 832 00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,680 Speaker 1: Yard Milkshake I p A. And the reason it's called 833 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 1: it's actually boys in. I love a good boyson berry 834 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,880 Speaker 1: pun and so that's what this one was. It was 835 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,320 Speaker 1: literally an I p A with boys and berries tossed 836 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,560 Speaker 1: in from a local brewery down the street from us 837 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,120 Speaker 1: called Wrecking Bar, a brewpub. Matt Warrior thoughts on this beer, man, Yeah, 838 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,320 Speaker 1: I Reckon Bar is one of our favorite local brewpubs 839 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,399 Speaker 1: here in Atlanta. And Dude, one of the first things 840 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,480 Speaker 1: that I thought of, as you mentioned, you know, the 841 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,799 Speaker 1: boys and berries is like, what is a boys in? 842 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,239 Speaker 1: It makes me thinking of that a little bitch head 843 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 1: for joke, But like, boys and berries aren't something you 844 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,880 Speaker 1: regularly see, you know. It's it's not like a typical 845 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,719 Speaker 1: berry that you would pick up at the grocery store, 846 00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 1: at least if you have. It's not one that I 847 00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:00,720 Speaker 1: have either, Like strawberries, blueberries. Yeah, yeah, you some raspberries. 848 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,840 Speaker 1: I'm getting crazy. It's it's like one of those berries 849 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,080 Speaker 1: that you cook with that that find their way into 850 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 1: beers or other dishes like that. But I've never had 851 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 1: a boison berry on its own, And like, what is 852 00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:14,120 Speaker 1: a boison tree or bush? Like, I'm curious to know. 853 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 1: But I really enjoyed this one. Man. This was, like 854 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,360 Speaker 1: you said, a milkshake, I p A. So it was 855 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,400 Speaker 1: kind of creamy. It's got some of that lactose sugar 856 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,520 Speaker 1: in there, but it also had some of that fruitiness 857 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:26,800 Speaker 1: that Boyson berry ads. Not having had a boison berry separately, 858 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 1: I can't necessarily pick it out, you know. I'm like, oh, 859 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,600 Speaker 1: I can really taste the boys and berry notes. I 860 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 1: taste fruit and so therefore that makes me think, oh 861 00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,839 Speaker 1: that must be boys and must be. But I did 862 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,640 Speaker 1: enjoy it. This is one that you just picked up 863 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,360 Speaker 1: a couple of days ago, and they just can this. 864 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,200 Speaker 1: So it's really fun to to have a really fresh 865 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,879 Speaker 1: crisp I PA like this. Uh, really enjoyed it, man, Yeah, 866 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,160 Speaker 1: what are your thoughts? Yeah? Man, I love the smooth 867 00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,880 Speaker 1: vibe of a milkshake. I p A. That lactose smoothness 868 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 1: just kind of um is a different mouth feel which 869 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,000 Speaker 1: I enjoy from time to time. And yeah, the Boysonberry 870 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,960 Speaker 1: action combined with the hops, it's just kind of fast 871 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,560 Speaker 1: nating flavor profile. And yeah, I think it can be 872 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,799 Speaker 1: done poorly. The milkshake I p a, but this one 873 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 1: was done quite well. So yeah, I love everything. Wrecking 874 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,279 Speaker 1: Barr puts out one of, like you said, one of 875 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 1: our favorite local breweries. Um so yeah, another winner today. Um. 876 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,000 Speaker 1: By the way, one thing Charles said that we haven't 877 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,840 Speaker 1: talked about. He mentioned The Queen's Gambit. Everyone. If you 878 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,239 Speaker 1: if like you're late to the game on this, you 879 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,520 Speaker 1: should totally watch The Queen's Game. But such an excellent, 880 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,200 Speaker 1: excellent show on that. You burned your way through the 881 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,359 Speaker 1: full first season by oh yeah, oh yeah. I don't 882 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 1: know if there's a second season coming, but if there is, 883 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,000 Speaker 1: I'll be watching. Nice man. Yeah, that's that's not one 884 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: that Kate and I have started yet, so we didn't 885 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,560 Speaker 1: get to that over the holidays, but maybe we were. 886 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 1: Well soon you you should. Yeah, Well, folks can find 887 00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,440 Speaker 1: our show notes up on our website at how the 888 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,320 Speaker 1: Money dot com. We'll make sure to link to Charles 889 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,040 Speaker 1: podcast and his books as well, where you can learn 890 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,719 Speaker 1: more about the different things he has written about. Yeah, 891 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,319 Speaker 1: and by the way, every other Monday, when we're not 892 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,400 Speaker 1: interviewing somebody, Matt and I are answering your listener questions. 893 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,000 Speaker 1: And especially if you're a new listener and you're kind 894 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,440 Speaker 1: of trying to figure out how money works or you've 895 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,480 Speaker 1: got some questions about your personal finances. Well, we'd love 896 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,600 Speaker 1: to take your question on an upcoming episode. Just go 897 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,640 Speaker 1: to how to money dot com slash ask simple instructions 898 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,920 Speaker 1: there to send a voice memo our way and hopefully 899 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,960 Speaker 1: we can take your question on an upcoming episode. All right, man, 900 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 1: that's gonna do it for this episode though, So until 901 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,799 Speaker 1: next time, best Friends Out, Best Friends Out.