Speaker 1: Paul from Mike Hello, Hello, what's up? Man? Hey? Man?
Speaker 2: Is this Lyle sure is? Who is this?
Speaker 1: My name's Mike, Mike.
Speaker 2: Baby, what's going on? Hit me?
Speaker 1: Oh? You know? Just living man? How what's going on
Speaker 1: with you?
Speaker 2: What's going on with me?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Dude, I don't know. I'm all over the place. Uh
Speaker 2: I'm a little crazy.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: What I hate is that this is as not your fault.
Speaker 2: By the way, there is something to do with you.
Speaker 2: But have there been in a situation where you feel
Speaker 2: insane and you're in like a normal human being situation
Speaker 2: and someone asks how you're doing, and you're not supposed
Speaker 2: to say, I'm I'm in I feel insane, and.
Speaker 3: So you say, happen to me all the time?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what do you do? What? What normal human
Speaker 2: being situations are you normally in?
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess, like normal human situation. I'm a
Speaker 3: I'm a school team. I interact with like thirteen to
Speaker 3: fifteen year olds all the time, and they just say
Speaker 3: the most ridiculous stuff, And half the time it's like
Speaker 3: kind of funny, and I want to react like, oh
Speaker 3: that was funny, But half the time it's not funny,
Speaker 3: and I'm like why on earth did that just come
Speaker 3: out of your mouth? But you can't say that. Most
Speaker 3: of the time, you can't say that.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's see, that's cause you can't, like you can't
Speaker 2: trauma dump on the thirteen year old. Like if a
Speaker 2: thirteen year old has asked how you doing, you can't
Speaker 2: show any sign of like, I'm kind of going insane
Speaker 2: right now. You really, you really can't.
Speaker 3: You have to be like the rock in the room
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to be the rock in the room
Speaker 2: for sure. But also I feel like something about being
Speaker 2: a rat something, you know what. It is interesting. I
Speaker 2: feel like in that position, right, I feel like you,
Speaker 2: even if you're having an insane day, I feel like
Speaker 2: you naturally become the rock in the room, even if
Speaker 2: you're having anything right.
Speaker 3: It's almost like grounding. But then that process is like
Speaker 3: super wearing, I think really so like sometimes like I'll
Speaker 3: get out of work and I'll come home, I'll be
Speaker 3: talking like my family and I'm just like I can't.
Speaker 3: That's that's like normal human stuff where I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I can't function right now, and you're expecting me to
Speaker 3: function right now and it's not working the way they want.
Speaker 1: It to you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but but being being like having to teach a
Speaker 2: classroom of kids, I feel like something that does like
Speaker 2: that that must like just do something to your system
Speaker 2: where you're like naturally, because that happens to me too,
Speaker 2: where like certain situations just kind of demand me to
Speaker 2: be a normal human being. And it's not like I'm
Speaker 2: not putting it. It feels like I'm not having to
Speaker 2: put an effort to it because my brain and my
Speaker 2: body are just like naturally adapting to the necessity of that.
Speaker 3: Going through the most like you're on like autopilot or something.
Speaker 2: A little bit, yeah, a little bit, mm hmmm. What
Speaker 2: kinds of shit are the kids saying these days?
Speaker 3: Honestly, it's so much just like grain rot garbage that
Speaker 3: it's like hard to be around it. Sometimes, like ask
Speaker 3: like a serious I teach English, so they talk a
Speaker 3: lot about like literature, and uh, I'll ask like a
Speaker 3: serious question, like a deep question, you know, and I'm like, Oh,
Speaker 3: this is gonna be so good. We're gonna have like
Speaker 3: a great conversation. And it killed this razor hand and
Speaker 3: be like, yeah, what do you think, like six seven?
Speaker 2: We are they still doing? Six seven?
Speaker 1: Oh? Dude?
Speaker 3: It's like the I don't even know if it's I
Speaker 3: think it's ironic at this point, but it's become it's
Speaker 3: gone from like a real meme to like an ironic meme.
Speaker 3: It hasn't run its course.
Speaker 2: And I would have thought it ran its course by now.
Speaker 3: It's so stupid, Like I don't know, there was a
Speaker 3: period where everyone was like that's so last year, but
Speaker 3: still it's still like the most prominent one.
Speaker 2: I would say, like when you're about to when you're like, uh, okay, everyone,
Speaker 2: your homework tonight is to read chapter six, are you
Speaker 2: like fuck they're going to say it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Of course, of course absolutely, the big what page are
Speaker 3: we supposed to be on? Even if it's like i'd
Speaker 3: be like fifty six the fifty six seven, Like, there's
Speaker 3: no escaping it. There's no escaping at all. I was
Speaker 3: talking about coworker that math teachers in the same boat,
Speaker 3: like obviously that comes up all the.
Speaker 1: Time for them.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I was like, I don't envy it.
Speaker 1: I don't envy it.
Speaker 2: Oh no, being the math teacher, being the math teacher
Speaker 2: in the six seven era, that's crazy. Yeah, man, okay,
Speaker 2: so well, shit, would you want to talk about today, man,
Speaker 2: if anything, I actually.
Speaker 3: Was like thinking about that when I saw that you
Speaker 3: were recording and taking calls, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't know. It kind of relates back to what we
Speaker 3: were just talking about out because I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: trying really hard to be a human and do a
Speaker 3: good job at it, but I feel like I'm getting
Speaker 3: caught sometimes in between, like the balance of trying to
Speaker 3: do day to day like normal shit, but also wanting
Speaker 3: to do like fun stuff Like my job opens up
Speaker 3: a lot of time, especially in like the summer, so
Speaker 3: teaching the United States obviously with often the summertime, I
Speaker 3: like to travel a lot. But I also feel like
Speaker 3: now I'm kind of coming into this part of my
Speaker 3: life where I'm like I kind of have to save money,
Speaker 3: and traveling can be pretty expensive even if you're frugal.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, I don't know, but that's what I
Speaker 3: wanted to talk about, is like kind of coming into that.
Speaker 3: Like I turned twenty seven yesterday and like looking at them, like, Okay,
Speaker 3: the kids love to call me unk. They're like, you're
Speaker 3: old as fuck, dude. I'm like, yeah, I don't feel old,
Speaker 3: but like also I do feel old.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do know what I mean, And I mean
Speaker 2: I'm twenty eight, and uh do I feel No, I
Speaker 2: don't really feel. I mean we're still in our twenties.
Speaker 2: I mean you ever meet like a thirty something year old,
Speaker 2: like they're Yeah, most.
Speaker 3: Of my coworkers are a lot older than me, and
Speaker 3: I fee always like funny too, because like most of
Speaker 3: them are like settled, they have kids, and I don't
Speaker 3: have any kids or anything yet, So I always think
Speaker 3: like that. I listen to your podcast all the time,
Speaker 3: like always like, yeah, that's true when you're like, you know,
Speaker 3: you have kids, and then you're like changes like I'm
Speaker 3: not there yet, but I'm like at the cusp of it,
Speaker 3: it feels like, you.
Speaker 2: Know, interesting. No, I don't actually think thirty is that old.
Speaker 2: I mean I don't think any of like every age
Speaker 2: you think. I mean I have. I was reading a
Speaker 2: journal of mine the other day where I was like,
Speaker 2: I was like, I turned twenty three today, and I
Speaker 2: feel old. So you can. I mean, you can feel
Speaker 2: old at any age, and uh yeah, we are. We
Speaker 2: are the problem is that we are getting to a point.
Speaker 2: I mean we're still chilling for like a pretty long while,
Speaker 2: But we are getting to a point where you have
Speaker 2: to make certain major like you kind of you do
Speaker 2: at some point have to declare a major in terms
Speaker 2: of like life like that analogy. Well it's it freaks
Speaker 2: me out a little bit because I'm like, yeah, at
Speaker 2: some point you do have to like decide certain things
Speaker 2: like are you going to have kids? Are you going
Speaker 2: to be with this person or are you going to
Speaker 2: find somebody else? Are you going to you know, try
Speaker 2: to do this career or try to do that career.
Speaker 2: And you can, look, you can change it up. You
Speaker 2: can like you know, you can start doing something or
Speaker 2: start to I mean, my parents were in a crappy
Speaker 2: marriage for eleven years and then they broke up and
Speaker 2: got remarried in their late forties to and you know,
Speaker 2: they had you know, twenty something years of like great
Speaker 2: time with their current people. And so life can take
Speaker 2: on a variety of stuff. But I do, I do.
Speaker 2: I am a little wary of like, oh, you have
Speaker 2: time to do this, that and the other thing, because
Speaker 2: I always feel like I don't have time to do shit.
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I speed ran a lot
Speaker 2: of my life in a good way.
Speaker 3: I kind of get that yeah, I definitely get that.
Speaker 2: But I did that because I never felt like there
Speaker 2: was enough, like there's only now that's all. That's all.
Speaker 2: That's all that Like I.
Speaker 3: Had a lot too, and I feel like that's kind
Speaker 3: of what I was what I was thinking about when
Speaker 3: I was saying like I'm at this like struggle with
Speaker 3: a balance type point where it's like I try to
Speaker 3: be very very now oriented, but I'm also at this
Speaker 3: like like we should say, like this cusp and I
Speaker 3: guess that could occur at any given time in your life,
Speaker 3: but like the cusp of like, Okay, what is next?
Speaker 3: Like I do have to plan for a future a
Speaker 3: little bit, like you can't at least I feel like
Speaker 3: I can't just make like stupid decisions. But then it's
Speaker 3: like sometimes stupid decisions are fun, you.
Speaker 2: Do I agree, and I listen, I've I've made stupid
Speaker 2: decisions that are very fun, and I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I have no regrets for any I mean, I there
Speaker 2: are things in my life that I wish I there
Speaker 2: are things in my life that I I wish there
Speaker 2: was a different word that I could use than regret,
Speaker 2: because I don't like regret.
Speaker 1: Is this is.
Speaker 2: I'm kind to myself in the sense that like I'm
Speaker 2: aware that, like I'm aware of my like human finititudes,
Speaker 2: and that my human finititudes are the you know, kind
Speaker 2: of drive most of my actions and I and I
Speaker 2: like looking at that, and I I I you know,
Speaker 2: you analyze the past so that you don't repeat mistakes.
Speaker 2: I've made so many. I've made tons of mistakes, but
Speaker 2: I don't have any like but like I got to
Speaker 2: do a lot of great off and like I'm very
Speaker 2: grateful for my life. Like if you make if you
Speaker 2: make me really look at it, and if you make
Speaker 2: me look at it when I'm in the throes of
Speaker 2: like my anxiety or depression, then I'll look at it
Speaker 2: like fuck, I you know, did this say? I think?
Speaker 2: But if you make me look at it when I'm
Speaker 2: feeling good, I'll be like, yeah, I got to you know,
Speaker 2: this was this was awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that. I totally get that.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I feel like I get that thought
Speaker 3: often of like is you know, do do you have regrets?
Speaker 3: It's like I feel like I'm in that same boat
Speaker 3: what you were talking about of like I don't feel
Speaker 3: like I have regrets. There's definitely things where I'm like,
Speaker 3: you know, how would that have turned out, or like,
Speaker 3: you know what would have played out differently is like
Speaker 3: learn from the mistakes or you know, try and try
Speaker 3: not to put yourself in the positions that you don't
Speaker 3: want to be into the future. But like that idea
Speaker 3: of your current mood playing a big factor into that.
Speaker 3: Like I've been thinking a lot. My my two siblings
Speaker 3: moved pretty far away, like across the country and constantly
Speaker 3: like I'm very close with them. We talk pretty much,
Speaker 3: I would say at least two plus times a week
Speaker 3: on the phone and stuff. And they're always like, oh,
Speaker 3: come out. My one brother lives out in Texas, my
Speaker 3: my brother and my sister lives in Tennessee. They're like, oh,
Speaker 3: you got to come out, Like you know, don't don't
Speaker 3: you think you could do something different and blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know, Like I like what I'm
Speaker 3: doing right now a lot, but then like I also
Speaker 3: I've traveled around the country a number of times. I
Speaker 3: love road tripping and camping and stuff. I'm like, I've
Speaker 3: met so many cool people, Like it would be there
Speaker 3: is that like call to wouldn't it be amazing to
Speaker 3: just like pick up, start somewhere fresh, meet a bunch
Speaker 3: of new people, do something new and interesting and cool.
Speaker 3: But then it's like then that other voice comes in.
Speaker 3: It's like nah, like no, don't do that, Like you know,
Speaker 3: that would be a lot of work, first of all.
Speaker 3: Second of all, be like pretty scary, like just starting over,
Speaker 3: especially being like rather set up for something.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yes, I do know what you mean. It is scary
Speaker 2: to start over when you're rather set up for something.
Speaker 2: I mean, what if what would you think? What have
Speaker 2: you thought about starting over about?
Speaker 1: Well, like, I don't know.
Speaker 3: There was a pretty long period of time when I
Speaker 3: first started my job. I've been I've been working for
Speaker 3: not the same exact school, but the same area for
Speaker 3: four years now, and like when I first started here,
Speaker 3: I was like I really want to do this. It's
Speaker 3: also like a big commitment, like I'm from New York
Speaker 3: and like the teaching system is really good. It's also
Speaker 3: like a pretty big commitment if you start buying into
Speaker 3: like the retirement systems, like you know you're gonna be
Speaker 3: there for thirty years. And I constantly have that thought
Speaker 3: where I'm like, damn, thirty years of my life. That's
Speaker 3: a long I mean, that's like that could be that
Speaker 3: could be almost that could be all my life, you
Speaker 3: know who knows?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well what else you want to do?
Speaker 3: Well? So that's like I don't know, Like I've talked.
Speaker 3: It's funny. My sister and I have had this conversation
Speaker 3: because she also teaches, but she's like kind of disillusioned
Speaker 3: with this things right now, and so she's like intent,
Speaker 3: She's like, you could come down here, we should open
Speaker 3: a gym together, and like it's a lure ring.
Speaker 1: I like going to the gym.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty active, but it's also something I have a
Speaker 3: zero experience in. So it's like kind of jokey between us.
Speaker 3: But I think like part of her really wants to
Speaker 3: do it, and part of me is like that'd.
Speaker 1: Be kind of cool, you know, why not? What's stopping me?
Speaker 1: I'm not a dumb person. I could do that.
Speaker 2: Hmm. But I don't think is that something you'd be
Speaker 2: interested in doing?
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel like this is like the idea of like
Speaker 3: there's a lot of things I think would be interesting.
Speaker 3: I think that would have a lot of headaches attached
Speaker 3: to it, so like, ultimately, I don't think that's something
Speaker 3: I would do completely, but like I don't know. I like,
Speaker 3: you know, that's very business oriented too. I like humanity.
Speaker 3: Like I said, I teach English, I like writing. I'm
Speaker 3: big into music, and like, I don't know, I've thought
Speaker 3: about that too, Like I've done music in the past,
Speaker 3: and like I've made some and put it out there.
Speaker 1: And I'm like that'd be cool.
Speaker 3: But then also like that's I don't know if I
Speaker 3: would like that, Like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I love what I do. That's the thing is, like
Speaker 3: I have this conundrum where I'm like, would something else
Speaker 3: really be better? Kind of like when you have a
Speaker 3: good hand, do you want to, you know, try and
Speaker 3: trade it in for something even better?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Uh, yeah, I actually know exactly what you mean about, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: the grass is kind of always greener on the other side.
Speaker 2: But also, dude, I don't know. It's funny. I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna pretend like I don't have answers to any this
Speaker 2: shit because I'm like also dealing with it right now
Speaker 2: where I'm like, uh, I mean, I'm pretty happy with
Speaker 2: everything I've gotten to do with in my life. But
Speaker 2: like I, I, you know, I have a lot of
Speaker 2: existential dread about like oh uh, you know, am I
Speaker 2: like like shit like picking the right like romantic partner,
Speaker 2: picking the right thing to do with your life and
Speaker 2: most of you, and a lot of like like career wise,
Speaker 2: for me, I've been kind of like career rush me.
Speaker 2: I've been kind of like, all right, let me do everything,
Speaker 2: you know, Like I make these documentary I make these documentaries,
Speaker 2: I do this podcast, I do my live shows.
Speaker 3: I like to perform, right, come to your live show
Speaker 3: in Brooklyn. I'm super echoing.
Speaker 2: Oh cool man, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome cool. Yeah, fucking
Speaker 2: shout up Bellhouse.
Speaker 1: Yes yeah.
Speaker 2: But I'm and I'm like, oh fuck, should I like
Speaker 2: stop doing this podcast so I can just focus on
Speaker 2: making those documentaries?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: Should I like start like focusing harder on that or
Speaker 2: can I like, can I, like, you know, manage doing
Speaker 2: everything because it all feeds into itself, you know. I
Speaker 2: have dreams of like I you know, I used to
Speaker 2: dream about like opening a venue, and then part of
Speaker 2: me is like, well, you know, I'm only twenty eight.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's like a project, you know, in twelve years
Speaker 2: from now, when I have, you know, more money or
Speaker 2: like right I have career wise, I'm kind of like,
Speaker 2: well fuck it, let me just fucking like do everything.
Speaker 2: You know, it's actually for me. It's a lot of
Speaker 2: like the personal stuff that uh is weighs on me.
Speaker 2: This stuff where like it's like how do you find
Speaker 2: how do you pick the right partner? How do you
Speaker 2: make sure that, like you know, when's the right age
Speaker 2: to have kids? What you know? Like one person, dude, I've.
Speaker 3: Been getting that like crazy incantly, not necessarily the kids
Speaker 3: thing per se, but like I'm the oldest of my siblings,
Speaker 3: and both of my siblings in the past six months
Speaker 3: have gotten engaged and are like getting ready to go
Speaker 3: and like take this next step in their life. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, like I said, like I like
Speaker 3: what I'm doing. I'm very content honestly, but like I
Speaker 3: look at that and I'm like, damn, am I like
Speaker 3: am I behind? And like I get that question. I'm
Speaker 3: like no, no, no, no, Like you said, like I
Speaker 3: got a lot of time. I'm like, at twenty seven,
Speaker 3: I'm not that old, but then I feel old and
Speaker 3: I'm like, dang, and then they're doing it younger. It's like,
Speaker 3: am I what's the right thing to do?
Speaker 1: And is it a rat thing to do? I don't
Speaker 1: think there is, but I don't know. This is a question.
Speaker 3: This is the conversation that I've been having, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I know exactly what you mean.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: I have all the same crazy I have all the
Speaker 2: same insane anxieties. I wish I wish I didn't. It's
Speaker 2: it gives me a ton of anxiety. I think it
Speaker 2: gives a lot of people a ton of anxiety. That's what.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: What's funny about America, dude, is we just have like
Speaker 2: fucking problems of abundance. It's so funny because like if
Speaker 2: we were living if we were living in like I'm
Speaker 2: gonna say, I don't even like eight early nineteen hundred's
Speaker 2: India or whatever, like we would just be like arrange
Speaker 2: married when we were like you know, like fucking like eighteen,
Speaker 2: and then like that would yeah, and then we were
Speaker 2: just like have to make it work different. The problems
Speaker 2: that would be extraordinary. I mean there would be you know, resentments,
Speaker 2: and there'd be a whole other problems set right, But
Speaker 2: it's like we wouldn't we have all this Like uh,
Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like in America we have
Speaker 2: we just have all these like problem of like abundance
Speaker 2: that cause us anxiety. You know, yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't know what the right fucking answer is, Dude, I am.
Speaker 3: Dude, I don't either, honestly. That's like I get into
Speaker 3: that sometimes too with like students, like you know, the
Speaker 3: ones I'm close with might ask similar questions, like you know,
Speaker 3: especially kids that get super anxious about stuff.
Speaker 1: They'd be like, oh, like, you.
Speaker 3: Know, it just feels like I shouldn't even be feeling
Speaker 3: these things because like, you know, realistically, my problems aren't
Speaker 3: that big. It's even compared to like other people here.
Speaker 3: And it's just like yeah, like but doesn't mean your
Speaker 3: problems don't exist, Like I don't know. It's again, it's
Speaker 3: like it's that question of balance that I that I
Speaker 3: keep bringing up. It's like, you know, there's there's definitely
Speaker 3: some degree of like you know, it's real because it's
Speaker 3: right in front of you and like the hypotheticals are
Speaker 3: are huge, But then I don't know, you don't want
Speaker 3: to get lost in like that infinite possibility type thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah you don't. I mean, I dude, shit, there's something
Speaker 2: I was gonna say just now. Oh yeah, I was
Speaker 2: like a friend about this today, Like you know, I'm
Speaker 2: you know, a dude. Another thing is like like as
Speaker 2: you get older, uh, you have all these people who
Speaker 2: you kind of look up to, who you feel like
Speaker 2: have like shit figured out right, Like i mean starting
Speaker 2: their parents start with their parents, right, yeah, and then
Speaker 2: you get old and you get older and you realize
Speaker 2: that your parents don't know what the fuck they're talking
Speaker 2: about or what they're doing for real. And then and
Speaker 2: then and then I have like there's like there's like
Speaker 2: people that I really like looked up to when I
Speaker 2: was a kid, and I and I still, you know,
Speaker 2: have respect for them and their work, and you know,
Speaker 2: in the same way that I have respect for my
Speaker 2: parents and stuff. Like I've met, you know, like through
Speaker 2: doing my work, I've met a lot of people that
Speaker 2: I was like a fan of when I was like,
Speaker 2: you know, in my like teens and early twenties, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this is just some fucking guy. Like
Speaker 2: this is just like some fucking guy. And then also
Speaker 2: like I'm a guy who people are a fan of
Speaker 2: and I look at me and I'm like, I'm just
Speaker 2: some fucking douchebag. I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh god, nobody does nobody you know?
Speaker 2: I know, I know, literally, I'm sure you actually no, no,
Speaker 2: I'm sure you do. Because you're a teacher, and so
Speaker 2: you have to be the right this conversation.
Speaker 3: I'm not even king like verbade him this conversation. I
Speaker 3: teach a philosophy class as like an elective, which is
Speaker 3: really fun, and like most of that this is like
Speaker 3: older kids to teach at a small school, so I
Speaker 3: teach high schoolers.
Speaker 1: We had his.
Speaker 3: Conversation the other day, and it's funny because like a
Speaker 3: lot of these kids are getting ready to graduate high
Speaker 3: school and like they're going to graduations and prom and
Speaker 3: all these things. They're talking about going to college, and
Speaker 3: then something came up where they were like, oh, sorry,
Speaker 3: this is my last name. I don't know if I
Speaker 3: don't know if it was going in a podcast or anything,
Speaker 3: but appreciate that it wasn't out there.
Speaker 2: Brandon, let's cut out his let's cut out his last name.
Speaker 3: They're like, you know, we're going to college, Like should
Speaker 3: we have a college experience, and I'm like, uh, first
Speaker 3: of all, like I don't think it's appropriate to be
Speaker 3: talking about this, but like, like I went to college obviously,
Speaker 3: and like I engaged in a college experience to some degree,
Speaker 3: but like I also learned my decisions about that. I
Speaker 3: gave him all this advice.
Speaker 2: About Well, another thing is, well, are you equating a
Speaker 2: college experience because the way you're talking about are you
Speaker 2: equating a college experience with like what getting like drunken shit?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: They were asking about like parties and like you know
Speaker 3: what it's what it's like to go and like they
Speaker 3: were asked about like fraternities and stuff like that. I
Speaker 3: wasn't part of a fraternity or anything, but like obviously
Speaker 3: I experienced some of that being around the demographic and whatnot.
Speaker 3: But eventually I ended up telling I'm like, guys, you know,
Speaker 3: like what I what I discovered is you know, I
Speaker 3: wasn't really a fan of that environment. I would get
Speaker 3: super anxious. I thought it was kind of like a
Speaker 3: waste of my own time. Like I had more fun
Speaker 3: doing stupid things with my friends, like we weren't. I
Speaker 3: wasn't a person that would do stuff like that, you know,
Speaker 3: and I gave him all this advice and I was like,
Speaker 3: you know, I started looking into things that I thought
Speaker 3: were like more in line with like what I liked
Speaker 3: and whatever. And a lot of the kids, like a
Speaker 3: couple of them were like, man, like you know, they're kind.
Speaker 1: They they they did it.
Speaker 3: I think that's a pretty big norm in America is like,
Speaker 3: you know, go to college at the college experience, have freedom,
Speaker 3: do whatever you want, like you know, And I was
Speaker 3: like kind of telling them not to and like not
Speaker 3: even because you know, I'm trying to be a professional
Speaker 3: at that point, Like I was just like giving them
Speaker 3: my honest opinion. And I was like, guys, like I'm
Speaker 3: just some dude, Like I don't know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: This is what.
Speaker 2: Worked for me, like exactly, yeah, I don't feel.
Speaker 3: Like an adult most of the time, and you guys
Speaker 3: are looking up to me like I've got all the answers,
Speaker 3: like I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, no exactly, no exact you you feel the same
Speaker 2: exact thing, because it's like you're who all these kids
Speaker 2: look up to as like uh like a like you're
Speaker 2: like you're a real adult. You're the rock in the room.
Speaker 2: You're like, dude level.
Speaker 3: And I feel like I've got no clue what's going.
Speaker 2: On, Like, yeah, dude, a lot of the time, Yeah dude,
Speaker 2: we all have no idea what's going on? And fuck
Speaker 2: was I gonna say? But but what you just said
Speaker 2: right like I did. What works for me is that's
Speaker 2: the thing, right is there's no like objective like manual
Speaker 2: for everything, but there is the cool The thing is
Speaker 2: is like this thing where you kind of can look
Speaker 2: at what people are doing and kind of deride from
Speaker 2: that something. It's like, Okay, if all of the people
Speaker 2: I looked up to, like my parents, you know people
Speaker 2: uh you know whose work I admire, teachers, uh uh,
Speaker 2: the the you know whatever is that whoever and whatever
Speaker 2: is fucking out there? Right if all of that stuff
Speaker 2: is like you know, I don't want to say an
Speaker 2: illusion is too bad, Like I don't want to be
Speaker 2: doomor about it. But I think the answer is you
Speaker 2: look at all that stuff and you like kind of
Speaker 2: take it in as like an aggregate of like these
Speaker 2: are all these people's learned experience. These are still even
Speaker 2: even if even like you know, my teacher, this fucking
Speaker 2: podcast guy, you know, my parents, like even if like
Speaker 2: they're at the end of the day they're they're just
Speaker 2: some fucking dude or whatever, they still have lived experience
Speaker 2: and they still have like you can still glean things
Speaker 2: for Like that's what we're That's why humanity is. We're
Speaker 2: all just like gleaning things from each other's learned experience.
Speaker 2: And I was talking to my.
Speaker 3: Brother about this the other days. You're talking about the
Speaker 3: like you know, he's, like I said, he's younger than me.
Speaker 3: He just got engaged recently. You're talking about like next
Speaker 3: stats and whatever. And we talked about the idea of
Speaker 3: like the phrase coming into your own and like I
Speaker 3: had never thought about it in these words up until
Speaker 3: that conversation, but I was like, dude, you know that
Speaker 3: literally is exactly what you're doing as you get to
Speaker 3: be an adult. And like you, I think, like part
Speaker 3: of it is like you like your parents to get
Speaker 3: like your your role models, your teachers, you're you know whoever,
Speaker 3: and like you look at them like they're the model.
Speaker 3: But then you realize that, like like you said, like
Speaker 3: you know, they're they're flawed, they're confused, they're not perfect.
Speaker 3: So you realize that like you have no model, you
Speaker 3: kind of are the.
Speaker 1: Model, right, yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I was like, you know that was
Speaker 3: that was like whoa, I was just gonna say something
Speaker 3: I forgot was gonna set off my train of thought.
Speaker 3: But like that idea was pretty like oh shit, you know,
Speaker 3: there's no such thing as like a right choice as
Speaker 3: long as you're trying your best, I was gonna say.
Speaker 3: Being being the English nerds that I am, I was like, yo,
Speaker 3: it's like to kill a mocking bird, you know, do
Speaker 3: the best with what you have, with what sense you have.
Speaker 3: I was like, you can get more sense, like more experience,
Speaker 3: and talk to as many people as possible and read
Speaker 3: as much as possible, Like then you have more of
Speaker 3: that like the aggregate you're talking about to kind of
Speaker 3: go off of.
Speaker 1: It's like kind of cool.
Speaker 2: What's your name again, man or your fake name?
Speaker 1: Mike? Mike?
Speaker 2: Well, Mike, I'm glad we had this conversation. I wish
Speaker 2: I still lived in a bubble. I wish I wish.
Speaker 2: Actually I don't.
Speaker 1: I try.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to have the I'm trying to have the
Speaker 2: strength to deal with the loss of groundedness that I
Speaker 2: UH have been experiencing. But you know what I think
Speaker 2: we'll find it, Mike. I think we will find I
Speaker 2: think we will. I think we will. I think we
Speaker 2: will find it.
Speaker 3: Like become comfortable, become comfortable with like the floating, you know,
Speaker 3: Like yeah, I think I think what you said before
Speaker 3: is like that that problem of like having too much,
Speaker 3: that's not a bad problem to have. I don't think
Speaker 3: that's kind of that bit like the balance and like,
Speaker 3: you know, get comfortable with like being able to do
Speaker 3: a lot and be happy that that's that's kind of
Speaker 3: like not a bad problem to be in.
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly, it's, uh, it's not a bad problem. You
Speaker 2: get to choose your own adventure and that's a little
Speaker 2: scary but also but also nice, pretty amazing, amazing, Mica.
Speaker 2: Is anything I was gonna say with people of the
Speaker 2: computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Oh dude, you asked us at the end of every call,
Speaker 3: and I've never thought about what I would say. You
Speaker 3: can say, No, I don't know, be happy, be happy
Speaker 3: and choose your own adventures.
Speaker 1: I like its.
Speaker 2: Hey, man, I'll see around the universe.
Speaker 1: Gek, bless you.
Speaker 3: I'm super excited see you in Brooklyn, supery.
Speaker 2: All right, I'll see you then, Man, take.
Speaker 1: Care, all right, have a great night. See you, GEK.
Speaker 2: Thanks Mike. Hello, Hi, Hello, what's up. What's your name?
Speaker 1: I'm uh you call me Bob? Is this the Gecko man?
Speaker 2: This is the Gecko Man. Bob. What's going on? How
Speaker 2: you doing?
Speaker 1: I mean, man, I'm doing. It's a day.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a day on the earth queer people. What
Speaker 2: do you think, Bob? Should we should we do a show?
Speaker 2: Should we talk? Should we see what we can find
Speaker 2: out about each other in our in a one on
Speaker 2: one conversation?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll see why not. Beautiful day might as well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, beautiful day to sit inside and podcast. I'm interested
Speaker 2: in you, Bob, not like that. I'm interested in your brain.
Speaker 2: I want to know what's going on in it, and
Speaker 2: we're going to get to the bottom of you for
Speaker 2: the next however long I decide to or you decide to.
Speaker 2: You have equal You have as much. The callers don't
Speaker 2: really realize this, but they have equal amount of power
Speaker 2: to hang up on me as I do on them.
Speaker 2: So both of us are going to be on this
Speaker 2: phone call for exactly as long as each other wants to.
Speaker 2: All right, then you sound excited, you sound thrilled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's a little racing right now. I
Speaker 1: wasn't really expecting you to call. I mean, like, I know,
Speaker 1: I know, I like text it and ship, but like
Speaker 1: you know, you text, but you don't ever expect to
Speaker 1: call back.
Speaker 2: You said, you said you texted me two years ago.
Speaker 2: Well you text me a whole bunch of stuff. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, you said. Okay, first of all, you said,
Speaker 2: I'm about to join the military and I'm scared. And
Speaker 2: then it's and then and then recently you're texted me
Speaker 2: I still haven't figured out why I joined the military.
Speaker 2: So you were about to join the military and now
Speaker 2: you're in it, and you were scared. Okay, so there's
Speaker 2: a lot. There's a lot going on. And then you
Speaker 2: also said for the past you spent two years ago,
Speaker 2: you said, for the past two years, I've been living
Speaker 2: a lie. Yeah, so that was that was four years ago. Okay,
Speaker 2: So we have a lot. Do you want to talk
Speaker 2: about any of this? Do you want to have this conversation?
Speaker 2: I don't want to force you in a conversation you don't.
Speaker 1: Want to have Oh yeah, yeah kind of, because I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess that's that's why I texted.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm ready I'm present, my phone is off. I
Speaker 2: I turned my laptop screen, the brightness all the way down.
Speaker 2: I'm staring at nothing. I'm staring at the microphone. I'm trying,
Speaker 2: and I get distracted. Let's I'm locked in on you, Bob.
Speaker 2: Let's hit it. Okay, let's begin here. Let's start. Let's
Speaker 2: start two years ago. Let's start two years ago.
Speaker 1: With the with the I'm living a liar. I don't
Speaker 1: know why.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you. Tell me, tell me. Let's start with that.
Speaker 2: Tell me why I four years ago, you were living
Speaker 2: a lie.
Speaker 1: So pretty much that would have been after I got
Speaker 1: out of high school. I uh. I moved to Montana
Speaker 1: and did like a like a summer like work program
Speaker 1: thing over there for a ski resort, trying to just
Speaker 1: like you know, figure out why and ship. Then I
Speaker 1: moved back to a college town because I told my
Speaker 1: parents that I was gonna start going to school. I like, hooray,
Speaker 1: good job, honey, and so they they like offered to
Speaker 1: pay for school and my living and and food and
Speaker 1: all of that. But I mean, like the whole time,
Speaker 1: like I was just not going to school. I was
Speaker 1: sort of just getting like super drunk, super high and
Speaker 1: just fucked up, like all day, every day, and I
Speaker 1: felt bad because you know, they were paying for all
Speaker 1: of it, and I was a lot to them for
Speaker 1: the whole two years that I was doing that. M
Speaker 1: and then uh, at the end of that twoish years,
Speaker 1: it kind of felt like that I couldn't keep the
Speaker 1: jig out anymore. So I'm like, fuck it. I could
Speaker 1: always just join the military and and have like a
Speaker 1: not I don't. I don't want to say like an
Speaker 1: honorable way out, because like it's not honorable at all,
Speaker 1: but I could have an easier way out instead of
Speaker 1: having to, you know, talk to my parents about how
Speaker 1: I've just been spending their money to get drunken high
Speaker 1: all day for two years. Hmm. Okay.
Speaker 2: And so then you were like, okay, so your parents
Speaker 2: were sending you to school and you weren't really going.
Speaker 2: But then I don't I'm trying to understand how the
Speaker 2: how to joining the military. Joining the military was like
Speaker 2: your your thing of like, oh, school is not working out, No,
Speaker 2: I actually want to join the military, yeah, instead of
Speaker 2: being working out because of getting drunk all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just didn't want to have that conversation with
Speaker 1: my parents, so I'm like, all right, I can just
Speaker 1: do this, and they can see that it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, he this isn't working out for him the soul.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but yeah, I guess I just saw
Speaker 1: that as more of a way out than having that
Speaker 1: talk with my parents.
Speaker 2: Okay, that was two years ago. Yes, and you were
Speaker 2: afraid to join the military at the time. Why were
Speaker 2: you afraid?
Speaker 1: I mean, shit, dude, it's the military, Like, you don't
Speaker 1: don't I don't know if I'm guessing, did you. Were
Speaker 1: you ever in the military? No?
Speaker 2: Never in the military.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't know. I was kind of afraid
Speaker 1: just because I didn't know what it would be like.
Speaker 1: And uh, when I was signing up for it, the
Speaker 1: whole time, I was thinking, damn, am I like actually
Speaker 1: gonna get through this. And then I got on the
Speaker 1: bus to go to the airport and I got on
Speaker 1: the plane and I'm like, shit, I'm really doing this.
Speaker 1: And when I got then when I got off the plane,
Speaker 1: they they start yelling at you, like in the airport
Speaker 1: to get on these buses. And then uh, we rolled
Speaker 1: up to the front gate of the basic training and
Speaker 1: I saw the flashing red and blue lights and the ship.
Speaker 1: I'm really doing this and uh yeah, I mean now
Speaker 1: I'm now, I'm here, I'm at my first base. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And how has the past two years been?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's I don't I don't want to say
Speaker 1: it's bad because it hasn't. But it's just not what
Speaker 1: I, I guess, envisioned my life to be like right now.
Speaker 2: How old are you?
Speaker 1: I'm twenty one.
Speaker 2: Twenty one? Okay, how did you envision your life to be?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I guess just not in. I guess traveling.
Speaker 1: I've always moved to do that. Mm hmm. Maybe you
Speaker 1: work at a bakery.
Speaker 2: M Are you in one of those crazy military contracts?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 2: You man like I know some people like who are
Speaker 2: in like six six year long military contracts.
Speaker 1: No, so there are four and six year or like
Speaker 1: the standard contracts. But I signed a four year so
Speaker 1: I'll be getting I'll be getting out in twenty twenty nine,
Speaker 1: at the start of twenty twenty nine.
Speaker 2: Okay, So all right, so you'll be twenty four by
Speaker 2: the time you're out of the military.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Are you making any money? Are you saving anything?
Speaker 1: I'm trying to but I mean, shit, do you fucking
Speaker 1: talk I've been big back and really going to Taco Bell.
Speaker 1: Have you tried their new like dessert and panada things
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: That's crazy to me. That's crazy to me that you
Speaker 2: can be in.
Speaker 1: Like that.
Speaker 2: The reason you can't save money is because of Taco Bell,
Speaker 2: because it's not like Taco Bell is the whole point
Speaker 2: of dude. I'm sorry, this is just this is such
Speaker 2: a separate rant from what we're talking about. But it's
Speaker 2: so stupid that fast food is like expensive now, like
Speaker 2: that wasn't supposed to be. The whole point is that
Speaker 2: it was like shitty and cheap.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I went to McDonald's the other day and the
Speaker 1: McChicken is like two or three dollars. That's I remember.
Speaker 1: I remember when it was a dollar. Life was good,
Speaker 1: life was peace, life, life was good.
Speaker 2: Are you still drinking?
Speaker 1: Uh No? Not not every night? Like uh like I
Speaker 1: was when I got here a couple of months ago.
Speaker 1: Like when I first got to the base that I'm
Speaker 1: at now, I was drinking probably a seven fifty of
Speaker 1: whiskey like every two or three days.
Speaker 2: Maybe what's a seven fifty.
Speaker 1: Uh three quarters of a leader?
Speaker 2: Okay, Oh, you're drinking that every day?
Speaker 1: Not not. I would. I would finish a bottle of
Speaker 1: that every like two or three days.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you were drinking. You were't drinking the whole
Speaker 2: bottle every day. You were drinking the whole bottle every day.
Speaker 2: You were drinking every day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was drinking a considerable amount. I was drinking
Speaker 1: enough to know that it wasn't and healthy.
Speaker 2: How often drinking now?
Speaker 1: Really only on like special occasions like I'll be going
Speaker 1: to I'll be going out of town next week and
Speaker 1: for a tournament, so I'll probably drink then. But other
Speaker 1: than that, like, I don't really I don't really drink
Speaker 1: like that anymore, just because A it's expensive and B
Speaker 1: it's not really healthy in it. I don't know. It
Speaker 1: makes me sad.
Speaker 2: Cool, Yeah, dude, I mean a genuine congrats on that.
Speaker 2: It's hard to kick a habit, man, It's hard to
Speaker 2: kick a habit. Yeah, you can get you can lose
Speaker 2: so much fucking time to that shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean I wasn't even really doing anything I
Speaker 1: was drinking either. I was literally just sitting in my
Speaker 1: room alone, watching fucking TV and playing Fortnite.
Speaker 2: And what's life like for you on base these days?
Speaker 2: What's like a day to day life.
Speaker 1: And I kind of have the same the same routine,
Speaker 1: wake up, go to the gym, get lunch, and then
Speaker 1: go to work after So I work afternoon till like
Speaker 1: the midnight, so I sort of have my mornings to myself. Cool,
Speaker 1: but like it's it's hard because all my friends are
Speaker 1: you know, eight hours away back home. I can't can't
Speaker 1: really you know, leave whenever I want to go see them.
Speaker 1: It's kind of hard making friends as an adult, I guess.
Speaker 1: But I think being having having shared experiences that makes
Speaker 1: it easier. Now.
Speaker 2: It's interesting to say that because I would think that
Speaker 2: the military is actually like a decent way to make
Speaker 2: friends as an adult, because you're, like, I assume you're
Speaker 2: around a lot of people on a regular basis.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm I'm around the same people like
Speaker 1: I'm I'm friendly with them at work and stuff. Like
Speaker 1: we don't really do anything outside of work. But I mean,
Speaker 1: there's not too much to do around me besides like
Speaker 1: go to the beach.
Speaker 2: You said in your text, you said, I still haven't
Speaker 2: really figured out why I joined the military.
Speaker 1: What do you that? Something?
Speaker 2: Is this something you're kind of wrestling with?
Speaker 1: I guess I mean, like, I think I have an idea.
Speaker 1: Off my parents found out, they would have stopped like
Speaker 1: paying my rent, I would have been homeless. Like, I
Speaker 1: guess that's a reason. But like other than that, I
Speaker 1: can't really like find a deep, being full reason within myself.
Speaker 1: But I don't. I don't know if there has to
Speaker 1: be one.
Speaker 2: You know, how do you feel you seem I mean,
Speaker 2: you seem a little down, I mean.
Speaker 1: Shit due, I think I'm I don't know, I might
Speaker 1: be a little a little depressed, but I kind of
Speaker 1: I don't want to put like a doctor or anything
Speaker 1: about it because if I do, I'm afraid I might
Speaker 1: lose my security clearance and then I.
Speaker 2: Would just oh ship, Yeah, dude, that ship. That ship
Speaker 2: is so fucked up. That's like, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. It's like it's like the same thing with pilots,
Speaker 1: like if they if they're like if they go like
Speaker 1: a therapist or anything, like, they they won't get medically
Speaker 1: cleared to fly. I'm pretty sure it's it's kind of
Speaker 1: the same thing with the rest of the motor, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to test it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Man, that's a
Speaker 2: crazy situation to be in. But yeah, okay, but that's
Speaker 2: that's interesting to me because I would think that, like,
Speaker 2: I mean, the military is such a wide ranging thing.
Speaker 2: It's not one specific job. I would think that even
Speaker 2: if you can't get like it, like, it makes sense
Speaker 2: to me that there's certain positions in the military that
Speaker 2: you can't be diagnosed with certain health issues to do. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I mean, there's got to be a wide ranging
Speaker 2: amount of positions within the military that you you can do.
Speaker 1: I mean, there definitely is. But I don't. I hate
Speaker 1: my job that I'm doing right now. If I'm trying
Speaker 1: to once I hit my two year mark being in,
Speaker 1: I can switch jobs. And the job that I almost
Speaker 1: switch to need you need a higher clearance and you
Speaker 1: have to go through more training. And if I you know,
Speaker 1: if I like go to someone, there's a very high
Speaker 1: chance that I would get denied for that job if
Speaker 1: I transfer.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad you could. I'm glad that you could
Speaker 2: talk to the therapy gecko because I cannot. I will
Speaker 2: not your I will not strip you of your security clearance. Okay,
Speaker 2: so hm.
Speaker 1: Hm hmm.
Speaker 2: Let's think through this, you said. Okay, you also said,
Speaker 2: my best friend hates me.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, that guy. That guy hates.
Speaker 2: Okay, is that something you want to talk about?
Speaker 1: I guess so yeah, I feel like a lot of
Speaker 1: people would relate to it. Maybe, but probably not. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's up to you, but yeah, we can talk about
Speaker 1: So back in back in high school when I was
Speaker 1: I think I was like fifteen or sixteen. This was
Speaker 1: my end of sophomore year going to junior year, and
Speaker 1: I was talking to this one girl that my best
Speaker 1: friend dated for like two months our freshman year. We're
Speaker 1: meet and my burst men, we're in the same grade.
Speaker 1: So freshman year, he dated this girl for like two months,
Speaker 1: they broke up. They didn't really talk after that. End
Speaker 1: of my sophomore year. Going in junior year, I started
Speaker 1: talking to her, she came over, YadA, YadA, YadA, and
Speaker 1: then like we stopped talking for a bit, and then
Speaker 1: last yeah I think it was last year, we picked
Speaker 1: up talking again and things were like getting a little
Speaker 1: more serious and like we should probably tell him, like it,
Speaker 1: you know, feels right because he dated you back in
Speaker 1: freshman year and he's also my best friend. Like it
Speaker 1: doesn't feel right, feels like I'm keeping a secret. And
Speaker 1: so we told him, and he sort of flipped his ship.
Speaker 1: Not really sure why. I don't get it because he,
Speaker 1: you know, he hadn't talked From my perspective, he hadn't
Speaker 1: talked to her in years, and so I didn't really
Speaker 1: see the big deal of it. But I guess he
Speaker 1: saw it differently, and yeah, he kind of flipped the ship,
Speaker 1: blew up on me. He didn't talk to me for months,
Speaker 1: and then this New Year's I went home and I
Speaker 1: met him out at a bar and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: like you he apologize, saying all this shit like that,
Speaker 1: And in my head, I'm thinking, what is there to
Speaker 1: apologize for? I didn't. I don't feel like I did
Speaker 1: anything wrong, Like you didn't you haven't talked to her
Speaker 1: in years. But I kind of kind of one of
Speaker 1: my best friends of actually I sucked up my ego.
Speaker 1: I'm like, look, man, yeah it was wrong. Whatever should
Speaker 1: have done it. For the next couple of months, up
Speaker 1: until up until three weeks ago, I thought things were
Speaker 1: good between me and him. And then I went to
Speaker 1: the town that he went to college in, which is
Speaker 1: like two or three hours away from them. Based on
Speaker 1: I'm saying at now, and you know, I met up
Speaker 1: with him some other buddies who went out drinking, and
Speaker 1: he like the first night that I was there, all night,
Speaker 1: he was slipping me comments saying like, oh, you're done,
Speaker 1: You're done for like all this shit like that, and
Speaker 1: I sort of on the drive back from the bars,
Speaker 1: I sort of blew up at him because I mean,
Speaker 1: it's stupid cut. But he wasn't turning on wasn't turning
Speaker 1: on the radio. So I'm like, oh, dude, turn on
Speaker 1: the radio, like YadA, YadA, YadA. He blew up on me.
Speaker 1: I was LOOKI bitching him out while I was in
Speaker 1: the back seat, and I mean, yeah, we sort of
Speaker 1: just haven't talked then, but yeah, he he sort of
Speaker 1: like hates my guts.
Speaker 2: Now, Hmmm, do you uh do you like, do you
Speaker 2: grieve the friendship? Do you guys do you wish that
Speaker 2: you guys could patch things up? Or do you kind
Speaker 2: of not care anymore? At this point?
Speaker 1: I mean, I would like to have the friendship back,
Speaker 1: but at this point, I mean it's kind of done with.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna keep fighting for it
Speaker 1: just because I know it on would be the same,
Speaker 1: and like, it's not gonna go back to the way
Speaker 1: that it was, so I'm not even gonna try and
Speaker 1: repair it at this point. M hm hm hmm.
Speaker 2: Do you have a lot of other friends.
Speaker 1: Of not not like here on base but back home. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I talked to them pretty regularly.
Speaker 2: Why do you feel like you don't have as many
Speaker 2: friends on base if that's where you're spending most of
Speaker 2: your time.
Speaker 1: I mean, I kind of I don't. I don't know
Speaker 1: a lot of the things I like to do, they're
Speaker 1: kind of like solo people things like solo activities, like
Speaker 1: and I know you can go to the gym with
Speaker 1: other people, but I kind of just go to the
Speaker 1: gym to like look good. I don't really go to
Speaker 1: chit chat and whatnot. Mm hmm. But I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think I just don't really have that
Speaker 1: many hobbies to go, like meet people at And when
Speaker 1: I when I do, like go out to a bar
Speaker 1: or just anywhere in general to like meet people, I'll
Speaker 1: talk to like one person and then that that conversation
Speaker 1: won't really go anywhere, and I'll be I'll be in
Speaker 1: my head thinkin damn, like well why did I even
Speaker 1: why did I even come out like this is a
Speaker 1: waste of time. I should I should just go home,
Speaker 1: and then I just go home after that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean I've talked about this to death
Speaker 2: on the show, but I'll talk about it again.
Speaker 1: Like the.
Speaker 2: You got to find like a kind of recurring place
Speaker 2: to show up, right, because you're totally right, Like what
Speaker 2: you go out to the bar, you have one conversation
Speaker 2: with a person, and then nothing really happens, right, Like
Speaker 2: there's a lot of there's a lot of expectations, you know,
Speaker 2: but if you kind of find yeah, like you said
Speaker 2: talking about like hobbies that are more conducive to being
Speaker 2: around other people and that are recurring. I mean that's
Speaker 2: kind of the secret to friendship is like find the
Speaker 2: community and and add value to it so that you're
Speaker 2: visible in the community.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: That's kind of the that's the general friendship equation. What
Speaker 2: are your other hobbies we like to do?
Speaker 1: Uh? I mean I'd like to go, like there's a
Speaker 1: there's a rock climbing gym. It's like forty five minutes away.
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't really go all that much, but
Speaker 1: I'll go sometimes like just camping. I guess, like I'm
Speaker 1: a big outdoors guy, but there's not really a whole
Speaker 1: lot of outdoors stuff here.
Speaker 2: Uh? Are there not?
Speaker 1: Where?
Speaker 2: What? What part of like on the base? Is there
Speaker 2: a Is there like a rock climbing gym? I feel
Speaker 2: like rock climbing is actually a pretty social thing like that.
Speaker 2: I mean here in fucking Brooklyn, there's a ton of
Speaker 2: these like rock climbing gyms that have regular uh regular
Speaker 2: regular meats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I mean it's pretty social. But the
Speaker 1: only gym that's close to me is like forty five
Speaker 1: minutes away, So I'll probably only go there like once
Speaker 1: among m, just because I mean, I don't really have
Speaker 1: that much time.
Speaker 2: So what's the dream, Bob? What's the dream you want?
Speaker 2: You want to you want to travel in a couple
Speaker 2: of years when you get out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that that's that's the dream. So we're just saving
Speaker 1: up money now to have you seen those uh this
Speaker 1: band life for a video where people buy like a
Speaker 1: shitty then and renovate it and sort of drive around
Speaker 1: the country.
Speaker 2: Sure, is that what you want to do?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it seems like ituld be. It seems
Speaker 1: like it could be pretty fun, bring a dog along.
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like there's a whole lot of expenses
Speaker 1: doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'll warn you have something. I'll let
Speaker 2: you know. The like van life thing, like general, I
Speaker 2: think it's kind of one of these things where if
Speaker 2: you haven't traveled a lot, you kind of picture what
Speaker 2: like a nomadic lifestyle would be and traveling. Traveling is great,
Speaker 2: traveling rocks, but like when I you know, you meet
Speaker 2: some of these guys who do van life or like
Speaker 2: in a hostel or whatever, and they're like, been on
Speaker 2: the fucking road for like nine months, Like the road
Speaker 2: and the nomadic world is their thing, like a kind
Speaker 2: of constant motion, and it's it's it's lonely, it's it's
Speaker 2: very conducive. It's not conducive to building long relationships and friendships,
Speaker 2: especially if that's and you'll notice that. I mean if
Speaker 2: you were if you were kind of sitting here telling
Speaker 2: me like, oh well I needs myself and my dog
Speaker 2: and all that, I'd be like more pro van life.
Speaker 1: But the.
Speaker 2: I think it's so I think it's okay to just
Speaker 2: be like, oh, I want to travel somewhere for like
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks or something like that. You know,
Speaker 2: if you want to choose a whole nomadic lifestyle. It
Speaker 2: will make you lonely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But the cool thing about I know you've done
Speaker 1: like sorry, I know you, I know you. I know
Speaker 1: you've done a whole lot of like, uh like traveling solo. Yeah, likes.
Speaker 1: Has that ever affected you, like filling lonely.
Speaker 2: Or yeah, totally Yeah, that's well you're twenty one, right, Yes,
Speaker 2: that's the that's the age that I was when I
Speaker 2: started traveling by myself. And the first time I was
Speaker 2: doing it, it was it was awesome, it was beautiful.
Speaker 2: I mean I told one hundred percent recommend that you
Speaker 2: do it. But I would travel for myself for like
Speaker 2: two weeks at a time, three weeks at a time,
Speaker 2: something like that. And uh, it's so it's totally lonely.
Speaker 2: But that's but I don't I really cherish that that
Speaker 2: period of time because, uh, the loneliness is part of
Speaker 2: the experience. In a sense. You have kind of these
Speaker 2: you have kind of these high highs where you will
Speaker 2: meet people. You know, especially if you're good to put
Speaker 2: yourself out there, you will meet people and you will
Speaker 2: have experiences that you couldn't have had if you went
Speaker 2: with a group. But then you'll also have these very
Speaker 2: melancho hollic feelings that are new, and there's a lot
Speaker 2: of I think value and humanity in those feelings, and
Speaker 2: especially if you're young, it's good. I'm at the age
Speaker 2: of at now, I don't want to. I have no
Speaker 2: interest in like long term solo traveling of any kind,
Speaker 2: just because like, I feel like I've felt those melancholic feelings.
Speaker 2: And I I mean, sometimes I end up doing solo travel,
Speaker 2: like just by necessity if I'm filming something or doing
Speaker 2: a show or something like that. But uh, I think, yeah,
Speaker 2: when you're when you're when you're young, I recommend it
Speaker 2: fully because it introduces you to new Yeah, it introduces
Speaker 2: you to new feelings and new excitements that are are valuable.
Speaker 2: But I don't think you need to rent a whole
Speaker 2: ass van to do it, you know. I never I
Speaker 2: never did like eight months on the road or six
Speaker 2: months on the road. I was like, a couple of
Speaker 2: weeks in a place is cool for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I get I get thirty days of
Speaker 1: a pto year from the location. Maybe I'll do maybe,
Speaker 1: maybe I'll just use up all thirty I like that.
Speaker 2: I like that idea. I like that idea. Yeah, where
Speaker 2: would you.
Speaker 1: Go, just just give it a little taste.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that idea. Where would you go?
Speaker 1: I was thinking, like, northern Italy, go see go see
Speaker 1: the Dolomites, do some hiking.
Speaker 2: Dude. Yeah, dude, I don't know what your budget is like,
Speaker 2: but if you can rip a rip Spirit Airlines, but
Speaker 2: there's an airline, I'm gonna give a free shout out
Speaker 2: to Ryan Air. Do you know Ryanair?
Speaker 1: Dude? Ryan Air is fucking goaded. Have you easy Jet?
Speaker 2: I have an easy Jet?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's pretty it's pretty good. Ryan Jet. Spirit spirits
Speaker 1: closing down though they.
Speaker 2: I know, I know. It's it's actually so tragic, and
Speaker 2: it kind of pisses me off because people people like
Speaker 2: would meme on Spirit. People would be like, oh Spirit sucks.
Speaker 1: They weren't that bad. They were never that bad.
Speaker 2: Dude, they were never that bad. And also when people
Speaker 2: when people were like like when Spirit was like, hey,
Speaker 2: we'll do a super low cost thing where you can
Speaker 2: stand in the back of the plane, I was like,
Speaker 2: that's sick. You know, It's like.
Speaker 1: I'll like, I'll pay for that. I'll probably to go
Speaker 1: stand in the back of the plane. You kidding me, right, right?
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, there's a whole conversation about, you
Speaker 2: know whatever, capitalism making things cost more artificially. But Spirit
Speaker 2: was sick in the sense that they were like, if
Speaker 2: you want no frills, if you if you don't care
Speaker 2: about getting your little bottle of water, if you don't
Speaker 2: care about the seat reclining, if you don't care about
Speaker 2: all and you just want to get from point A
Speaker 2: to point B, we will offer you that option for
Speaker 2: cheap and uh a valuable service completely gone. Whereas yeat.
Speaker 2: In Europe, you have Ryan Air, which can like do
Speaker 2: shit like it can take you from Italy to France
Speaker 2: for like I don't know, I haven't I haven't used, right,
Speaker 2: I haven't been in Europe in a while or used
Speaker 2: Ryan Air in a while. But I know there was
Speaker 2: a ship where you could like go to go from
Speaker 2: fucking like France to Italy to France for like thirty
Speaker 2: dollars or something that's like a bus ticket, right, So
Speaker 2: I don't know if that I don't know what's Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2: Don't quote me on that, but I guess I'm saying
Speaker 2: it's like if you have thirty days, you should totally
Speaker 2: like dick around in Europe and see what's up, you know,
Speaker 2: go spend a little bit of time in Rome, spend
Speaker 2: a little bit of time in Paris. I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't know what your budget is, but but even
Speaker 2: if your budget's tight, there's like, there's there's you know,
Speaker 2: you can stay in hostels for like Hella Chief, you
Speaker 2: can fly Ryan Air for Hello cheap. There's a there's
Speaker 2: a if you're if you're scrappy and you're down to
Speaker 2: like stay in a bunk bed with like sixteen other
Speaker 2: folks and like fly on shitty airlines at like five
Speaker 2: o'clock in the morning, there's a there's a there's a beautiful,
Speaker 2: budget friendly adventure that I believe you could take for
Speaker 2: those thirty days that might give you a nice little
Speaker 2: taste of the travel universe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I have no problem with you know,
Speaker 1: sleeping on a bunk beds. I slept at in a
Speaker 1: bunk bed with you know, fifty other people for two months, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, right, right right right?
Speaker 1: Not not that out of.
Speaker 2: The ordinary, dude, Was there ever any fill metal jacket
Speaker 2: shit where like some guy just went bonkers on everyone
Speaker 2: dude almost.
Speaker 1: So we had this one guy, uh I'll just call
Speaker 1: him John, uh so John, Like when when we were
Speaker 1: come back from doing drill, which is basically just fancy walking,
Speaker 1: we would hear this dude like whisper to himself and
Speaker 1: talk to himself for for like a few weeks, and
Speaker 1: we're like, what the fuck is that about? And then
Speaker 1: on week week five, we go to the rifle range
Speaker 1: to get qualified, and on the Sunday before we go,
Speaker 1: this dude was talking to and she was like, I'm
Speaker 1: a fucking killer. I'm gonna kill this bitch. And I
Speaker 1: was walking Me and this other kid were walking by
Speaker 1: like as he said that in himself, and I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: we gotta like tell, we gotta like tell the drill
Speaker 1: instructor like that, like if if he goes to the
Speaker 1: range and fucking kills this lady, like like, we'll feel
Speaker 1: responsible for that. Yeah yeah, so so so we told
Speaker 1: the total drill instructor and she's like, thank you for
Speaker 1: letting me know. H We'll get this, you know, righted
Speaker 1: through the proper channels. And we went to lunch one day,
Speaker 1: came back all this dude's stuff was gone, his bed
Speaker 1: with strips, his walluck or was empty. There was ye,
Speaker 1: I mean it looked like there was zero sign of
Speaker 1: life in his dead in his area.
Speaker 2: I mean I assume he got kicked out.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, uh he It turned out he lied on
Speaker 1: his uh his like entrance mental evaluation thing m and
Speaker 1: they kicked him out.
Speaker 2: See, if you're walking around like go ahead, no, not
Speaker 2: go ahead. I was gonna say, if you're walking around
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna kill this bitch, then you know fair,
Speaker 2: it's fair. They should let you go. But if you're
Speaker 2: like I'm kind of sad, they should, you know, let
Speaker 2: you They should still let you have a gun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, as long as you're not you know,
Speaker 1: police or whatever. I do. I don't think it's that bad.
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding, but they should let you whatever, press
Speaker 2: a button that makes a helicopter do something. There's a
Speaker 2: lot of stuff you can do in the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we we almost the private piled this one kid
Speaker 1: because he up them. We almost did. We We were
Speaker 1: we were very close to it because I mean he
Speaker 1: just kept messing up and we would all get smoked
Speaker 1: for it. And we, like a lot of us, came
Speaker 1: to the conclusion like, yeah, like this guy's gotta got
Speaker 1: this guy's gotta be taught a lesson. But we we
Speaker 1: never we never did do that because we would have
Speaker 1: gotten we we would have gotten found out and been
Speaker 1: in beach ship, probably gotten kicked out.
Speaker 2: So hazing is not still a low key accepted part
Speaker 2: of the military experience. Legally, no hazing is not allowed,
Speaker 2: but anecdotally.
Speaker 1: It's not. What's the word for it. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say it's exorrected, but maybe I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: sort of I know, I know in the Air Force
Speaker 1: it's not really a thing, but I can't speak on
Speaker 1: other branches, but I'm sure it's prevalent in the other branches.
Speaker 1: But in the Air Force it's it's not really a thing.
Speaker 1: So Bob, get go.
Speaker 2: We've gotten to know you a little bit. You seem
Speaker 2: like a good guy. You seem like a man with
Speaker 2: a head on his shoulders, a man with desires, a
Speaker 2: man with uh intention for his life. Let me ask
Speaker 2: you this, Bob, are you still there?
Speaker 1: I am, I'll answer, get go.
Speaker 2: We've been talking for about thirty six minutes, and I'm
Speaker 2: willing to let you go if you must go. But uh,
Speaker 2: was there any aspect of any of this that you
Speaker 2: feel like you wanted to get deeper into, or any
Speaker 2: way in which this phone call could be of of
Speaker 2: any kind of assistance for you that we did not do.
Speaker 1: I mean not really. I feel like I talked about
Speaker 1: what I wanted to talk about, share what I wanted
Speaker 1: to share.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, kay, is what do you think you're going
Speaker 2: to do? What do you think you're going to do
Speaker 2: for that that thirty days? You think you're going to
Speaker 2: rocket somewhere?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Right, well, right now I have a I think
Speaker 1: forty two days saved up.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Oh you can do so much stuff. Damn
Speaker 2: that's awesome.
Speaker 1: Well, well I can only take thirty at a time
Speaker 1: before having to come back to work before I can
Speaker 1: take another thirty.
Speaker 2: I I dude, I actually would recommend that you not
Speaker 2: take like thirty in a row, like you should just
Speaker 2: you should take like two weeks and go somewhere instead
Speaker 2: of like, you know, thirty one, because you'll get because
Speaker 2: you'll get tired and burnt out after like two weeks anyway,
Speaker 2: you know, So I would say, if you have yeah,
Speaker 2: I think so, if you have forty two days, I
Speaker 2: would like split it up into like if you have
Speaker 2: forty two days. What's forty two divided by three? I
Speaker 2: would go on three. I would split those forty two
Speaker 2: days into three if I were.
Speaker 1: You, Maybe I'll do something for my birthday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when's your birthday?
Speaker 1: Uh? It's uh, it's in September, so I mean towards
Speaker 1: the start of the cooler months.
Speaker 2: Cool man. Well, happy, happy birthday.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, even though it's not for you know,
Speaker 1: another four months. Private Bob, Colonel Gecko.
Speaker 2: Is there anything you want to say to the people
Speaker 2: of the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: Wayno boenga bing bang Dilly Deli.
Speaker 2: Excellently said goodbye, mister Gecko. Goodbye, mister Bob. Thank you
Speaker 2: very much. That's who I want defending our country. Cat people,
Speaker 2: cat cat boys named Bob who longed for the van life.
Speaker 2: That's that's who we want. That makes me happy anyway, folks,
Speaker 2: that's been the Therapy Gecko podcast. My name is Lyle.
Speaker 2: I'm a Gecko Pacific North we I'm coming to you.
Speaker 2: I'm coming to you. I got I got shows, man,
Speaker 2: I got shows. I'm doing The Crocodile in Seattle June sixth.
Speaker 2: Before that, I'm doing Polaris Hall Portland, Oregon June fifth,
Speaker 2: San Francisco June fourth, I'm Coming to Vancouver June seventh,
Speaker 2: Minneapolis June ninth, Cleveland, Ohio, June eighteenth, Pittsburgh June twentieth,
Speaker 2: Charlotte June twenty first. Many more shows in addition to those.
Speaker 2: You can find them all on therapy geckotour dot com
Speaker 2: or the link in the episode description. If you don't
Speaker 2: like listening to the ads, you can get an ad
Speaker 2: free version of the podcast at Patreon dot com slash
Speaker 2: lyle forever. Other than that, I don't have anything else
Speaker 2: to say. I'm tired of feel insane. But we're gonna
Speaker 2: make it through, folks. I'm gonna make it through. You're
Speaker 2: gonna make it through. Our teacher friend is gonna make
Speaker 2: it through. Our military guy friend is gonna make it through.
Speaker 2: We're gonna do it. We're gonna figure it out. We're
Speaker 2: gonna live. We're going to join the living, folks. We're
Speaker 2: going to join the living. Gat Bless Get Go Out,
Speaker 2: goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night,
Speaker 2: goes through, and he's teaching you a loud in them
Speaker 2: of your life. But he's not to be an expert