WEBVTT - How Men Think with Jeff Timmons 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.000 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:08.119 is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hey, 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:10.320 what's going on everybody. I'm Jeff Timmins and you may 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.360 know me from the boyband Degrees. I'm so happy and 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:16.040 thrilled to be guest hosting How Men Think. I'm gonna 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:19.200 answer all your questions and try to help you understand 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:22.959 how Men Think. But first, this is eleven Questions with 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:26.639 Jeff Timmins. So let's get into it. What are you 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:30.120 known for? Well? Uh, mostly known for being a member 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:33.400 of ninety eight Degrees, which has been an amazing run 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:36.319 for me. It's our twenty fifth year. Uh this year 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.720 Degrees being in existence. Although it makes me feel really old, 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:42.120 I feel very blessed and fortunate to get out there 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:44.720 and still be performing for such wonderful fans and be 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:47.360 doing this for a living and supporting my family. So 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:49.680 I think all of you a little bit about me. 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:52.360 I love music, of course, that's the obvious thing. I'm 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:55.360 a big family man. I've got five kids, They're all amazing. 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:58.360 I've been very blessed, got a beautiful wife, and you 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:00.000 know I like to work behind the scenes as well. 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:02.960 I'm a big studio guy. Um like to do music 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:06.199 and produce stuff for other people, I mean the tech space. 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:09.440 It's like to keep busy. So who am I in 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:12.080 my personal life? I'm just a guy that likes the 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:14.760 screw around. I don't take myself too seriously at all. 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:17.600 I take other people seriously. But I like to have 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:20.000 a lot of fun, roll with the flow, make people laugh, 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:22.640 and you know, enjoy family and friends and you know, 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.080 the little things in life are are very very important 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.600 to me. All right. What are three shows that I'm 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.640 binge watching. Well, there's a show called Elite. There's a 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.520 lot of these Spanish shows that are translated to English 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:36.920 on Netflix that I really love. Elite is one of them. 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:39.600 Money Heisten is another one. And then I've really been 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:42.120 kind of getting my guilty pleasure from the Pam and 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:47.440 Tommy story on Hulu, which I absolutely love. What is 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:50.320 my favorite food? Well, it's kind of a toss up. 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:53.720 I'm a low carb guy, so it's usually meat and 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:56.200 cheese and seafood and things like that. I would have 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:59.160 to say steak and lobster. I'm you know, I like 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:02.280 the finer things in life, so I'd say steaks, steak, 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:08.360 steak and lobster my favorite foods. Tell us about your career, Well, 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:13.000 I have been totally blessed. Uh, it's been a wonderful ride. 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:16.720 I'm from a very small town in Ohio where you know, 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:18.480 a lot of not a lot of people kind of 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:22.280 venture off into the entertainment business. UM. I was inspired 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.720 by the group Boys Two Men and wanted to create 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:27.640 a similar group just like that. Um, we didn't have 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:31.640 the Internet and uh things that like like like um, 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:36.119 Twitter and Snapchat and YouTube at our disposal and TikTok, 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:39.320 so you literally had to go pursue your dreams. I 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:42.720 drove with my original band across the country to l 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:46.240 a Um to pursue the dream and got lucky. You know. 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:48.400 We ended up singing backstage at a Boys de Men 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:53.240 concert ironically, and we're fortunate enough to get signed and 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:57.080 we got signed to Motown Records, which is a legendary label. UM, 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.919 like Boys Demand Did. We toured the world, we sold 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:04.800 millions and millions of records and we're still around twenty 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.280 five years later with great fans that embrace our music 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:12.040 and we enjoy the camaraderie of our brotherhood of getting 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.680 up on stage and acting silly and singing songs for 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:16.520 our living. So it's been a blessing. We've got to 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:20.080 perform with Stevie Wonder on a song for Disney's Mulan 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:23.119 with Mariah Carey that went and Joe that a song 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:26.040 that went number one. We got to perform for Michael 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:30.040 Jackson with Usher and Luther Vandrow's anything you can imagine. 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:32.919 We've been fortunate enough to do and and we never 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.280 took different granted. So it's been an amazing ride. What's 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:39.680 my biggest fear in life? I think just not being successful. 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.320 I mean I think that, uh you know, it's important 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:45.080 for me to always get better every day. Uh, never 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:49.720 settled for mediocrity. I don't expect that of everybody else 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:52.480 that I meet in my life, particularly my beautiful wife 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:55.360 and my kids. But for me, it's always achieving something 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:58.680 new and it doesn't necessarily have to do with monetization 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:01.320 and making money or being famous. It's just getting better 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:04.440 every day. So my fear is to become relaxed and 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.440 not be a success or not really have the influence 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:09.920 and impact that I hope to do to encourage others 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:12.960 to pursue their dreams. So the fear of failure is 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:18.680 probably my biggest driver, ah, my biggest pet peeve. On 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:22.719 that note, I despise people that are lazy. I like 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:25.279 people that like to kick back and take it easy, 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:31.080 but laziness drives me absolutely crazy. Absolutely my pet peete laziness. 0:04:32.160 --> 0:04:35.560 What makes me most happy seeing smiling faces in my family. 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:38.280 I mean, I think it's really really important. Um. The 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:41.520 world is always, uh, you know, a challenging place to 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:44.080 live in and life is hard, so you know, the 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:47.479 small victories for me or when I see smiling faces 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:50.520 on all of my kids, I see happy faces, and 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:54.520 you know, when my wife's happy, that's always nice. My 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:58.080 ideal Saturday morning, well, you know, Saturday, the day is 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.400 kind of blur together. I travel a lot. I'm very 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:04.080 fortunate to do, and um, so Saturdays could be a Sunday, 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:06.200 it could be a Monday. I'm always working, which is 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:09.760 a really very fortunate thing for myself. Um, but you know, 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:12.680 if if you're talking about the weekend, a Saturday morning 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:16.279 would be watching college football. I know that's a boring answer, 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.240 but I'm a big sports fan and being from a 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:22.799 small town in Ohio that revolves around football, Massillon, Ohio, Um, 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:25.080 I love watching my college football and I'm just hanging 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:27.080 out with my kids on a Saturday if I'm in 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:30.320 town and if we're all together. But traditionally I'm I'm 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:33.280 watching college football, either with the guys in ninety eight 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.680 degrees or even by myself. But that's a that's a 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:39.359 typical Saturday for me. Am, I'm more of an athlete 0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:42.960 or our share quarterback. Um, well, I'd like to think. 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:46.240 I'd like to think of an athlete. I but you 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:48.719 know what, I'm just I'm coming to terms with the 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:51.520 fact that I'm not that good of an athlete, so 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:54.240 I'm sort of both. I try to keep in shape. 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:56.919 I wanted to play football collegiately, and of course in 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:59.800 the NFL where I'm from, it's all about that. And 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.760 unfortunately I was vertically challenged. I didn't have enough skills, 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.880 wasn't good. I mean, the list goes on and on. 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:10.520 But I would say now I've I've come to terms 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.200 with the fact that I'm an arm chair quarterback. I 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:17.440 watched you criticize the coaches and throw stuff at the 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:19.719 TV and say they should have any better choices and 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.160 all that stuff. But at the end of the day, 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:27.880 I'm just a fan like everybody else. What keeps you motivated? Um? Well, 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:30.800 I have a lot of self motivation. UM. I think 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:34.680 you know, striving to be successful is an important thing 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:37.840 for me, and to get better every day. Like I mentioned, Um, 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:39.839 but my family does you know? I want to be 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.400 able to provide for them so they don't have to struggle. 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:45.400 I've been very fortunate, but you know, along the ways 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:48.359 there are high highs and low lows in the entertainment industry. 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:51.520 And if I can prevent anybody in my life, not 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:55.080 just my family, but groups and bands and artists that 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:57.640 I mentor or just people along the way that I 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.440 meet in life, if I can um prevent them from 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:03.320 having some of those low lows. Uh, that's very very 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:08.000 motivating for me in life. So that was eleven questions 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:10.080 and now we're going to get right into some of 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:23.280 your phone calls. Hi Meggan, are you there? Hi? Hi? 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:26.520 How are you? I'm good? How are you? Wow? Such 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:30.320 a clear, clean sound coming from your computer. Oh, thank you, 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:36.120 I am using my earbuds. Oh nice, nice, Nice to 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:40.040 meet you too. So do you have a question for 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:42.000 me or anything you want to talk about. I do 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:45.360 have a question for you. Okay, here's the deal. A 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.360 guy asked me on a date, and then on the 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:49.720 day of the day, I didn't hear from him. So 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.200 I reached out to him like two hours before to 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:55.040 make sure we were on and he bales and says 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.480 he has to go to his friend's mother's birthday dinner. 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.480 So that seems kind of like a cop out. But whatever, 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.600 indeed does seem like a cop out, I don't think that, 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:08.720 you know, I think that obviously you want to follow 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:10.320 up to make sure that the data is still on 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:13.160 and all that good stuff, and and sometimes that kind 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.360 of stuff can be awkward. But the fact that he 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:18.400 canceled if it was a different excuse, for example, if 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:21.200 he had kids or it was his own mother, but 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:25.200 it was his friend's mother's birthday, and you know, and 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:27.880 you reached out to him two hours beforehand instead of 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.280 him reaching out to you to kind of let him know, 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:33.200 it sounds like he bailed time to move on. Okay, 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.600 But see, now here's my follow up though, he just 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:38.520 asked me out on another day, So like, do I 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:43.599 give him another try or am I? Like? Nah? I 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:47.760 think maybe a conversation would be had about why he canceled. 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:51.160 Kind of feel out the vibe on the phone, right yeah, 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:54.760 time call, which you can really kind of tell cues 0:08:54.840 --> 0:09:00.439 with people's visuals right lying in the queues there, um, 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:04.480 with the spatial expressions and all that, and maybe saying hey, 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:07.280 I totally forgot, I'm so sorry. I want to make 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:10.080 it up to you, or he says, well, uh, and 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:13.800 he if he does that, obviously a second date, well, 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:17.200 a first second date isn't an effect. I don't think. Okay, 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:20.720 I think that's a good plan. I like that. Thank you. 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:24.160 I'm not a relationship expert, but you know, no, but 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.040 that's helpful because I just couldn't even tell, like I 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:27.640 was like, I don't even know how to I don't 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:29.800 know how to perceive with this, like what's your deal? 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:32.320 So that's great. You got to feel the vibe out 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:37.680 on all this stuff for sure. Thank you. Bye bye, 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.679 Hey Simona, how are you? I'm good? How are you? 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.360 I'm good. I'm enjoying this. Uh, this Q and A 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:46.560 that I'm doing with people that are calling it about 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.640 relationship advice. The worst guy in the planet to give advice, 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:52.440 but I'll do my best. What kind of questions do 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:56.960 you have for me today. Well, okay, so my question is, 0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:00.200 I'm so, I'm a divorced mom of two kids and 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:04.200 dating kind of sucks right now. Um, I'll have a 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:06.480 great date, and then as soon as my date hears 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:10.360 about my kids, it doesn't go further. Um. So my 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.960 question is how far into dating someone should I bring 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:16.440 up my kids? Is there a way to do that 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.880 that won't scare them off? Well? Look, I mean anybody 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:21.720 that you want to be with long term, it depends 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:24.000 on whether you're looking for a long term relationship or 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:26.160 you just out there looking to have fun. Right. If 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:28.480 you're out there looking to have fun, you can mention 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:32.600 them later, mention your kids later on in your dating process. 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:35.360 But I think if you're serious about settling down with somebody, 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:38.000 finding the one, I think you got to mention your 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:40.760 kids right away. I mean, with with me, I always 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:43.120 talked about my kids right away, and if that was 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:46.320 an issue, then that was an automatical, automatic X out 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:49.320 for for me. With uh with that, because you know, 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:52.319 obviously my children are the most important thing to me 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:55.160 in my entire life. So if someone is kind of, 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.440 you know, getting scared or afraid of you because you 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.000 have kids, I mean I say run for the hills. 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.840 But like I said in the beginning of the conversation, 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:05.840 if you're just going to have fun and it's not 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.199 going to be a long term thing, then it might 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:12.680 not necessarily be a topic of conversation. Okay, all right, 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:18.600 thank you, thanks Semona. Hi, Kate, how are you? Hey? Good? 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:21.360 How are you nice? To be connected with you over 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:27.240 zoom you too, It's really nice to connect. Um. I 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:30.160 guess I could use some advice. Okay, Well, I'll do 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:32.760 my best to give you some advice. I'm not I'm 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:35.160 not I'm not a doctor and expert, but I'll try 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:39.839 my best from life experience to help you out. Okay, Um, well, 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:42.280 here's my scenario. I went on a date, a first 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:44.720 date with a guy the other day. I met him 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.840 on just like a dating app and it was a 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:54.120 it was a great date. But he drank a lot 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:57.400 about the date, like a lot, A lot, And what's 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.200 a lot coming from a drinker? A lot to mean, 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:05.560 you know, how much? Was a lot? He had two 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:10.600 drinks before the appetizer got there, three before dinner was over, 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:14.120 and two more before the check came, so like seven 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:16.920 drinks and I had to the whole time, so we're 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:23.319 under twelve. No, did he was he? Was he drinking 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:27.160 it like he was needed to drink the booze to 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:30.319 get through the night. Or was he drinking because he 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.320 was trying to be social? How was his behavior as 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:35.560 he drank? I mean, there's so many lays I need 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.840 to know about this fellow drinking guy that I need to. 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.040 I don't want to. I don't want to disparage the 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:44.240 guy or or kind of lead you in the wrong direction. 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:46.240 If he's a nice guy, maybe he was nervous. You 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:49.000 know a lot of times us guys are nervous around 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:53.280 beautiful women like yourself, and you know, afraid that especially 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:55.400 if he's been on the dating scene for a while, 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:58.800 maybe not had that much success like most people don't 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.120 um And so that was a way for him to 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:04.240 calm his nerves. But if he's drinking, is almost he 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.400 has a problem, and the guy's getting sloppy and he's 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:11.600 fallen all over the place. I mean that's probably self explanatory, right, yeah. 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.000 I mean that's the thing that he wasn't mesty, he 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:17.280 wasn't slurring, He was totally fine, Like he needed it 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:20.840 to like self regulate his his nerves or something because 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:24.120 he wasn't drunk, which is also amazing, Like, what kind 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:26.280 of metabolism does he have that he can drink that 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:30.120 much and be fine. He's a pro. Where's this guy lit? 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:33.800 Because that's what what Midwestern people like myself, Dude, there's 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:37.040 nothing to do except for drink um and and talk 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:40.040 about sports. But no, look, I mean, certainly that's a 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:42.080 lot of drinks to having at night. And if he 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:45.080 was getting sloppy, or he was embarrassing himself or you 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:48.200 in the process, you know, obviously you know, there's probably 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:51.040 not a call for a second date there. But if 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:52.840 the guy was just getting through the night and it 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:55.920 was your first was at your first date with the guy, Yes, 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:59.800 it was our first time meeting. I'm pretty laxed with 0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:01.959 that stuff. I'd say give the guy a pass, give 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:04.880 him a second date. If the guy is sitting on 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.360 a Tuesday afternoon and he doesn't have a job and 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:11.960 he's smashing you know, bush leg draft or you know, 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:17.200 or or bottle jack, I would start to get worried then, 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:19.800 but I think, you know, maybe give him a second 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.800 shot and see if he kind of slows it down 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:24.840 the second time around. Or maybe that's just part of 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:28.080 the guy's personality. But you know, it's something to watch, 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.320 but not something to be concerned with on the first date. 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:36.800 Just my opinion. Okay, cool, I'll take that and I'll 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:40.000 definitely give him another shot. And you know, I don't know, 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:42.000 maybe I'll call and give you an update again. I 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:43.840 would love it. Right now. I need to know, so 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:46.960 send me a note. I want to find out how 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:50.200 it goes. Alrighty, we'll do Thank you so much. I 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:55.360 appreciate it. Appreciate it alright, by bye bye. Hi, Susan, 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:58.560 how are you? Hi? I'm great, how are you. I'm 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:00.440 doing great. I'm having a lot of fun on with this, 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:06.080 uh this podcast. It's pretty cool, wonderful. So, um, I'm 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:10.880 dating this guy who he's a great guy. He has 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:16.600 two kids and I have three kids, and we're getting 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.120 pretty serious and I'm thinking it's time that the kids 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:24.240 met each other. So I'm just wondering, you know, like 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.040 what's a good way to introduce them and is there 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.320 anything I need to be careful of to ensure it 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:32.120 goes well? Like I'm just I'm a little nervous about 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.600 the whole thing, you know, because so far it's been 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:37.160 me and him. It sounds like a great question. And 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:39.200 and look, I've been through this, so I can speak 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:42.240 to what what worked for me doesn't necessarily mean it 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:45.560 works for everybody. Um, but I actually, have you ever 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:47.160 seen how First of all, how long have you been 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:51.520 dating this guy? Like seven and a half months? That's 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.600 a long time. I mean that's a that's a pretty 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:56.520 lengthy amount of time. And it probably is time that you, 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.240 you know, sort of see how the family members would 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:01.680 interact in there if you're getting started to get pretty 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:04.640 serious about it. Um, you know, I think that with 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:08.080 regards to you know, watching somebody other how the other 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.960 person parents? Have you parents their kids? Have you been 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:13.240 able to take a look at how he is with 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:21.320 his kids? Um? Yeah, I mean I haven't, like I 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:26.240 haven't had a lot of time with them either, you know. Um, 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:28.440 but he seems like, you know, they seem to kid 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:30.760 around kind of and like they have a nice They 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.840 seem pretty close. Does he talk with affinity for his kids? 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:38.080 Is that like a lot of the topic of conversation. 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:40.560 I know a lot of people, you know, are are 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:44.200 scared and shy away from talking about their kids because 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.880 they're afraid that this person that they're gonna date doesn't 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:49.320 like that. But in this case, he's got kids of 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.520 his own, does he does he speak affectionately about his 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:57.000 own kids? Oh yeah, oh yeah, definitely. Well look, I 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.640 think that's a start, and um, you know, I think 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:02.760 that with me. I saw my wife with her kids, 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:05.080 and I was like, Okay, she's a good mom. She 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:08.400 takes care of her kids, she handles her business, she 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.080 disciplines them the right way, they have respect for her, 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.400 they're well put together. So that after I saw that, 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.040 I thought it would be a good time to introduce 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:19.600 her to my kids, which was, you know, kind of 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:23.400 a difficult thing because I didn't have the easiest of 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:27.080 of divorce process of the divorce process going on, so 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:31.200 it was I was always very nervous about introducing um 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.200 my kids to other people, which I didn't forever until 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:37.320 I met my wife and felt comfortable about how she 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:41.119 was with her kids, and they ended up getting along famously. 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:44.240 I mean, uh, And what I was. I travel a lot, 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:46.800 So I was in a certain city that was close 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.640 to them, and and her kids were close to to us, 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:51.439 and really we were just out and about and we 0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:53.600 went and did an event and took him to a 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.120 hotel and they all kind of had a good time, 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:58.359 went swimming and all that stuff. And then you know 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.919 that the rest after that was always positive. So they 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.480 all got along. You know, they fought a little bit 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:08.359 like any uh, you know family would do. But um, 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:12.600 you know it, are any of them still in the 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:16.280 house or three of them are gone? Three of them 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.080 are off to school and doing other things and graduated, 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:21.760 you know, and then we have two left here. So 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:25.440 my my youngest stepson just turned sixteen yesterday. He's still 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:28.360 here and now he's driving and it's gone to buy 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:30.680 in a flash. I've known him since he's three years old. 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:34.320 And then um uh, my daughter's ten. So those are 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:36.000 the only two that are left. And then the other 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:39.119 ones are are all growing up now one and almost 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:43.640 twenty one. So it's been a fun ride. That's so great. 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:48.320 So do you have any suggestions on like like a 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.600 things like what kind of setting should we be in? 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:53.960 Do you think for the kids to meet each other? 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:56.000 I think it might be cool, you know what, just 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:59.280 do something fun where they can have fun together, like, uh, 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.439 take him to Wet and Wild or go to like 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:03.880 a theme park or something like that that's a good 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:06.560 way kids ice. They can hang out with each other, 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:09.879 they can go run around and and do fun stuff 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:12.320 together and you know, like kids would do if as 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:14.639 if they're meeting friends right as opposed to like some 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:17.560 formal dinner we're like you're sitting across from Yeah, yeah, 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:22.199 I know sister or you know step sisters. So I 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.640 think in a fun environment is always a really really 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:28.479 cool way for for young people to break the ice. Okay, 0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:31.280 that's a good idea. I'm thinking maybe even mini golf 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:33.879 or something like that. Do people's don't great? Yeah, something 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:38.119 like that bowling mini golf like you know, yeah, I 0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:39.920 don't know where you live, but like a small theme 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:42.399 park Disney Went and Wild. Their kids always love to 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:45.040 go to the water parks together, that kind of stuff, 0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:48.760 don't car Okay, yeah, no, I think that's a good idea, 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:53.080 good idea. Well, thanks you. I appreciate it, of course, 0:19:53.119 --> 0:19:55.879 thank you so much, because, um now you've given me 0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.520 some um you know, now at least I have some ideas. 0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:00.480 Like I before, I was just like I have no, 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:03.440 I can't even I don't know. I've just been nervous, 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.520 you know, Yeah, I completely relate and understand. And UM, 0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:08.720 I got your email from the producers, so I'll send 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:11.560 you the bill. It's only gonna be a hundred for 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:18.119 this short call. I'm just just playing anyhow. Nice to 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:20.640 talk to you and good luck with all that. Thank 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:26.760 you so much, Thank you. Bye. Hi, it's up late. 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:28.679 Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. How are 0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:32.680 you today? Oh? I'm good? Are you? I'm doing great? Um? 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:36.960 So um, thank you so much for taking my call. Um. 0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:43.600 I'm so. I'm thirty six. My boyfriend is twenty six. Um, 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:47.560 we've been together for a while. Um. Anyways, we've been 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:53.159 talking a lot about having kids lately and uh. Um, 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:55.960 so I've kids have always been part of my plan 0:20:56.720 --> 0:21:01.119 and I feel like my biological clock is ticketing. Um, 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:04.280 and so I really want to get married and start 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:06.800 trying for kids. But when we started talking about it, 0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:08.960 he thinks that kids are like four years away for 0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:12.440 him at least. But I'm worried that four years might 0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:17.120 be too late for me. Should I Should I stay 0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:21.240 in this and be patient with him? Or like, should 0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:24.119 I try and find someone who's more like in the 0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:28.000 line with my timeline? Wow, what a tricky question where 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:30.480 I'd hate to give you the wrong advice on this one. 0:21:30.560 --> 0:21:33.000 But how long? First of all, there's some important factors. 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:34.880