Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome back to the Carol Marcowitch Show on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: Last week I talked about the slew of articles about
Speaker 1: how women are staying single. The tone is very much
Speaker 1: you go girl, with quotes on how happy they are
Speaker 1: and what they're doing instead of getting married and having families.
Speaker 1: They're traveling, they're building businesses or climbing in their careers.
Speaker 1: They're going to bed at eight pm snuggling their cat
Speaker 1: because that's what they want to do and no one
Speaker 1: is there to stop them. I've said on this show before,
Speaker 1: but all of that, even the early bedtime and the cat,
Speaker 1: could be better and easier in a good relationship. I
Speaker 1: was a big traveler even before I started dating my husband,
Speaker 1: but having someone to travel with and combine resources, you know,
Speaker 1: whether that means money or planning or spending the dull
Speaker 1: parts of traveling, like they getting their part together. It's
Speaker 1: better with someone you're into. And I've talked about how
Speaker 1: my career took off when I got married. I was
Speaker 1: able to take chances and opportunities that I couldn't take
Speaker 1: when I was on my own, and that's a frequently
Speaker 1: missed angle of the whole career or family non debate,
Speaker 1: and I say non debate. I know people who listen
Speaker 1: to the show a lot know that I think this
Speaker 1: because I don't actually believe that anyone is choosing one.
Speaker 2: Or the other.
Speaker 1: As I've said, I think people lean into their career
Speaker 1: more when they haven't met someone to be with, and
Speaker 1: then it becomes they've quote chosen career over a spouse,
Speaker 1: when really the choice was kind of made for them.
Speaker 1: One of the stats I shared last week is the
Speaker 1: share of women age eighteen to forty foorse single that
Speaker 1: is neither married nor cohabitating with a partner was fifty
Speaker 1: one point four percent in twenty twenty three, according to
Speaker 1: an analysis of census data by the Aspen Economic Strategy Group,
Speaker 1: and that numbers up from forty one point eight percent
Speaker 1: in two thousand. Now, I tried find a similar stat
Speaker 1: for men to see what are men up to? And
Speaker 1: I came across this one from twenty twenty three that
Speaker 1: I had seen before, and I always find amusing Among
Speaker 1: those eighteen to twenty nine years of age, sixty three
Speaker 1: percent of men versus thirty four percent of women consider
Speaker 1: themselves single. And I remember when this stat came out
Speaker 1: and a lot of people were confused, How could it
Speaker 1: be that sixty three percent of men are single but
Speaker 1: only thirty four percent of women are. But anyone familiar
Speaker 1: with the dating world knows exactly how. A woman goes
Speaker 1: on four dates with a guy and considers him her boyfriend.
Speaker 1: A man goes on those same four dates and continues
Speaker 1: dating other people until they specifically have the talk about
Speaker 1: whether they're going to be exclusive. The man generally assumes
Speaker 1: they will not be. It's funny because lately I've seen
Speaker 1: videos of young people in other countries marveling kind of
Speaker 1: mocking Americans about the whole talk thing. Apparently, when you
Speaker 1: go on some dates in France or Italy, you're together
Speaker 1: and that's it. Of course, those countries are also known
Speaker 1: for kind of loose standards of monogamy, especially for the men.
Speaker 1: So while I agree that needing to have that exclusivity
Speaker 1: talk is silly, at least American couples know where they stand.
Speaker 1: So I looked, and I looked, and it doesn't seem
Speaker 1: that men are getting the same glowy. He just wants
Speaker 1: to stay single and hang out with his friends, soft
Speaker 1: pieces that single women do. That's a tell to me
Speaker 1: that women are being lied to. A number of years ago,
Speaker 1: my daughter started noticing that there were always shirts for
Speaker 1: sale that said stuff like girls Rule and girls run
Speaker 1: the world, and it became obvious to her that boys
Speaker 1: didn't have similar clothing because the clothing aimed at girls
Speaker 1: was a lie, or if not a lie, then maybe
Speaker 1: a fib to them up. And that's what's happening now
Speaker 1: with these articles about amazing singlehood that are only aimed
Speaker 1: at women. They're being lied to, maybe to make them
Speaker 1: feel better, but it's a lie.
Speaker 2: Nevertheless.
Speaker 1: Recent show guest Abigail Schreyer had a really good piece
Speaker 1: on romantic comedies and love in general in the Free
Speaker 1: Press a few days ago. I'm going to read kind
Speaker 1: of a longer clip because I really enjoyed it. She writes, quote,
Speaker 1: every story involves daring, chance, and above all serendipity. Love,
Speaker 1: we are reminded again and again, is ultimately an act
Speaker 1: of surrender, Which is perhaps why our Bye with one
Speaker 1: click era struggles when it comes to romance, why it's
Speaker 1: technological wizardry invariably comes up short. We shop for mats
Speaker 1: online like we shop for clothing, determined to call up
Speaker 1: precisely and exclusively what we've already decided will please us.
Speaker 1: But real love can't be prime delivered like toilet paper.
Speaker 1: The precondition for romance, and especially of marriage, is our
Speaker 1: willingness to move beyond consumption, to shift our focus from
Speaker 1: I need a foodie who loves rock climbing to imagining
Speaker 1: what you might give to another and create together. Sally,
Speaker 1: and she's talking about when Harry met Sally would never
Speaker 1: have matched with Harry on hinge. Height alone would likely
Speaker 1: have preweeded him. He of slim build and average looks
Speaker 1: nothing like the boyfriend who couldn't commit to marrying her tall, agreeable, blonde,
Speaker 1: newcast handsome Joe. But rom coms exist to remind us
Speaker 1: that we don't know everything, not even about what we need,
Speaker 1: and that intimacy, like humor, involves surprise, which also means
Speaker 1: we must be open to finding someone who isn't simply
Speaker 1: a reflection of ourselves. End quote. I love that, and
Speaker 1: that's what women and men need to be told. Love
Speaker 1: is amazing and you should want.
Speaker 3: To find it.
Speaker 1: You can still travel and girl boss and have a cat,
Speaker 1: and all of that will be better with someone. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening. Coming up, my interview with Logan Lefkoff. But first,
Speaker 1: after more than a year of war, terror and pain
Speaker 1: in Israel, the need for security essentials and support for
Speaker 1: first responders is still critical. Even in times of ceasefire.
Speaker 1: Israel must be prepared for the next attack, wherever it
Speaker 1: may come from. As Israel is surrounded by enemies on
Speaker 1: all sides. The International Fellowship of Christians and Jews has
Speaker 1: supported and will continue to support the people of Israel
Speaker 1: with life saving security essentials. Your gift today will help
Speaker 1: save lives by providing bomb shelters, armored security vehicles and ambulances,
Speaker 1: fire fighting equipment, black jackets and bulletproof vests, and so
Speaker 1: much more. Your generous donation today will help ensure the
Speaker 1: people of Israel are safe and secure in the days
Speaker 1: to come. Give a gift to bless Israel and her
Speaker 1: people by visiting SUPPORTIFCJ dot org. That's one word support
Speaker 1: IFCJ dot org or call eight eight eight for eight
Speaker 1: eight IFCJ that's eight eight eight for eight eight if
Speaker 1: CJ eight eight eight four eight eight four three two five.
Speaker 4: Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My
Speaker 4: guest today is Logan Lefkoff, a sexuality educator and host
Speaker 4: of a show called The Sexy Side of Zionism on
Speaker 4: Izzy Stream Israel TV.
Speaker 2: Hi Logan, so nice to have you on.
Speaker 5: Hi Carol, It's so nice to see you sort of
Speaker 5: in person.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's sort of in person. We've never met in person.
Speaker 4: But we have to rectify that, I think soon. But
Speaker 4: I have to start off with what is a sexuality educator?
Speaker 2: And does everyone need one? Personally?
Speaker 5: I mean, yes, obviously right guarded in this field. I
Speaker 5: was a fifteen year old peer HIV and AIDS educator.
Speaker 5: I came of age, you know, I grew up on
Speaker 5: Long Island at a time when HIV was being talked
Speaker 5: about as a virus that didn't discriminate, and so for
Speaker 5: whatever reason, my parents became super involved in HIV and
Speaker 5: AIDS awareness and fundraising, even though we had no like real.
Speaker 6: Personal connection, right.
Speaker 5: And I came home after school one day and there
Speaker 5: were condoms and bananas on my dinner table, and my
Speaker 5: parents said, Okay, next week you go to become a
Speaker 5: peer educator and to teach others, and I okay. And
Speaker 5: what I learned was that I was really good at
Speaker 5: talking about things that made other people uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: And I wound skill.
Speaker 6: That's a real skill, Yeah, thank you. I mean, I
Speaker 6: don't know.
Speaker 5: I guess I was just mauthy enough and had a
Speaker 5: big enough ego to think like I could do anything
Speaker 5: like that didn't seem to stop that line of thinking,
Speaker 5: so I wound up. I really I went to college
Speaker 5: thinking I was going to be a lawyer. I went
Speaker 5: to the University of Pennsylvania, which you know, I'm so
Speaker 5: proud of these, so proud. And I found myself watching
Speaker 5: my friends and I like smart and sophisticated women making
Speaker 5: eight shittiest decisions about sex. And it wasn't like the
Speaker 5: no protection question like issue.
Speaker 6: It was no equity.
Speaker 5: We didn't know how to speak up for ourselves, we
Speaker 5: didn't understand our own bodies. And I just thought there
Speaker 5: has to be a better way. And I called my
Speaker 5: parents and said, I'm not I'm not going to law school.
Speaker 5: I'm going to get my master's and then eventually a
Speaker 5: PhD in this field that no one knew existed.
Speaker 6: Friend, what are you going.
Speaker 3: To do with it?
Speaker 6: I said, I don't know, I don't know, but I'm
Speaker 6: going to do something.
Speaker 5: And so really, nowadays, or at least for the last
Speaker 5: you know, three decades. I design and implement sex SED
Speaker 5: programs and a lot of schools. I've done a lot
Speaker 5: of consulting with organizations. I did a lot of work
Speaker 5: in the media in this space of sexuality and healthy relationships.
Speaker 5: And now I don't I don't know what I do,
Speaker 5: but clearly difficult conversations is right wheelhouse.
Speaker 4: So it's interesting because normally, if you call your parents
Speaker 4: and say, I'm really into sex and I'm going to
Speaker 4: pursue this as as a career path, I don't know,
Speaker 4: a lot of parents might not be happy with that.
Speaker 4: But your parents seem like they almost, like, you know,
Speaker 4: kind of led you in that direction.
Speaker 5: I think my parents were. They were definitely blindsided that
Speaker 5: this was going to work.
Speaker 4: Okay, I mean they didn't know the bananas and the
Speaker 4: condoms that not.
Speaker 5: Like, no, I just just not like this what we
Speaker 5: are in the middle of, like a global health crisis.
Speaker 6: And so we're going to do our part in our
Speaker 6: own that's really nice, Yeah, which amazing. It was.
Speaker 5: It was definitely amazing. And I also think that my
Speaker 5: parents knew, no still, that the person I am today,
Speaker 5: for all the good and sometimes not good, it's very
Speaker 5: much a result of being raised to have a voice
Speaker 5: and to use it and to be fearless. And so
Speaker 5: I'm sure there are times they think what did we do?
Speaker 5: And then also they're very proud to.
Speaker 2: What do people misunderstand about sex?
Speaker 5: Everything they misunderstart at the beginning, tell us everything. So
Speaker 5: I think that what most people misunderstand is that sexuality
Speaker 5: is not like a switch that gets flipped on at
Speaker 5: some magical time.
Speaker 6: And shut off at a magical time.
Speaker 5: That you know, we have a sexuality from birth to death.
Speaker 5: It's made up of all of the things that make
Speaker 5: us who we are. So you know, sure our you know,
Speaker 5: anatomy and gender, the way we express ourselves, the roles
Speaker 5: we play in relationships, who were attracted to what we
Speaker 5: like to do, and we express that differently throughout our
Speaker 5: throughout our lives. Uh, And that there is I think
Speaker 5: the biggest issue becomes in a world where we are
Speaker 5: so consumed with with what it means to be normal,
Speaker 5: to realize that there is no one way to be
Speaker 5: normal when it comes to your sexuality. I think fear
Speaker 5: of being normal prevents us from feeling fulfilled, whether that's
Speaker 5: emotionally or sexually, or or intellectually.
Speaker 2: Even so, where does Zionism come in. What's the sexy
Speaker 2: side of Zionism?
Speaker 3: How do they how do they intersect?
Speaker 4: It's it's really I mean, I think Zionism sexy, but
Speaker 4: I don't feel like that's necessarily the popular opinion.
Speaker 5: Apparently not. But I too, find find it very sexy.
Speaker 5: So I am a very, very proud Zionist. I am
Speaker 5: the granddaughter and great daughter of great granddaughter of American
Speaker 5: Zionist leaders. The sense of connection to Israel, to our story,
Speaker 5: to self determination was a huge part of who I
Speaker 5: was throughout my life, and I would say that, you know,
Speaker 5: anytime someone like offensively says you should stick to talking
Speaker 5: about sex, my answer is always my Zionist and Jewish
Speaker 5: values in form everything I do in my professional life.
Speaker 5: I can't separate them. So, you know, as in the
Speaker 5: last couple of years, and I'm sorry, I don't want
Speaker 5: this to be long winded, but it might be, so
Speaker 5: I have to tell us go ahead, Yeah, obviously, you know,
Speaker 5: in the last you know, I mean decade, sure, but
Speaker 5: in the last five years, spaces that have been historically progressive,
Speaker 5: mainly my own field, have let's just say, turned out
Speaker 5: to be reaching anti Semits. And so what I decided
Speaker 5: to do years ago was just be unapologetically Zionist. And
Speaker 5: it wasn't like I ever hit that part of who
Speaker 5: I was, but I didn't realize I had to lead
Speaker 5: with it. And so I've made my platform very much
Speaker 5: unapologetically Jewish, unapologetically Zionist, and you know, pro Israel as
Speaker 5: if by the way, there, I've never heard of any
Speaker 5: other place where you're like pro We're anties.
Speaker 4: Right, who's pro France or like pro Italy? You know
Speaker 4: it just it makes no sense.
Speaker 6: Yeah, ridiculous.
Speaker 5: And the sexy side of Zionism came about to be honest,
Speaker 5: because my media life, my TV life, kind of took
Speaker 5: a well died died in the last couple of years,
Speaker 5: right around the time I started speaking out very publicly
Speaker 5: about Israel.
Speaker 6: I don't you know, it might be a chicken red question,
Speaker 6: It might be a very big coincidence. I don't know.
Speaker 6: But this, this space that I love to play in,
Speaker 6: was not really calling me anymore.
Speaker 5: And I had an opportunity to meet the CEO of
Speaker 5: Izzy Stream Israel TV Nazi Dinar, and he said, do you.
Speaker 6: Want to do something on TV again? And I said yes, And.
Speaker 5: He said, you want to like talk about what you
Speaker 5: love and Israel. I'm like yes, And so we came
Speaker 5: up with the sexy side of Zionism. It's been amazing
Speaker 5: because yeh, scientism is sexy, right, As some of my
Speaker 5: guests have said, moral clarity is sexy, right. Being able
Speaker 5: to stand up for yourself, to be empowered by your
Speaker 5: voice and your story.
Speaker 6: Is knowing who you are. Yeah, resilience is sexy. So yeah,
Speaker 6: there seems to be a very nice connection.
Speaker 3: So what are the episodes like?
Speaker 5: So the episodes are basically a conversation which.
Speaker 6: Always starts off with why is Zionism sexy?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 6: We start with, like to use the sex term, the
Speaker 6: money shot first that we established okay, start.
Speaker 5: And then people get to tell their own story, their
Speaker 5: own journey, not just about zioni is, but how they
Speaker 5: found their voice, how they got to where they are.
Speaker 5: And then the part that I really really love is
Speaker 5: every I get everyone's hot takes on Israel. So everything
Speaker 5: from your favorite Hebrew word, do your favorite you know music,
Speaker 5: to your favorite place in Israel to what's the best
Speaker 5: thing about israelis were the one thing that everyone should
Speaker 5: know about Israel, and for the people who have never been,
Speaker 5: or the people who haven't been in a long time,
Speaker 5: it's a way to bring them in and to remind
Speaker 5: people that there is a world beyond this absurd like
Speaker 5: sided lens that we we see every day.
Speaker 6: So it's been a.
Speaker 3: Very sexy place.
Speaker 4: Everybody looks really good, and it's just it's you know,
Speaker 4: warm weather and the beach and it's it's it's really
Speaker 4: a wonderful, wonderful place.
Speaker 6: So, Carol, I have to I would say of the.
Speaker 5: Twelve interviews that are that are basically in the Canton,
Speaker 5: ninety percent of maybe one hundred percent. Everyone says, I
Speaker 5: don't know if I can see this, it's reelis are
Speaker 5: just really hot. Yeah, I said, don't be ashamed. Everyone
Speaker 5: says that.
Speaker 6: And it's not untrue.
Speaker 2: It's one interesting We're going to take a quick break
Speaker 2: and be right back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. So
Speaker 2: I've written about sex in my life.
Speaker 4: I mean, you know my columns at the Post, I've
Speaker 4: written about all kinds of you know, social things, friendship
Speaker 4: and marriage.
Speaker 3: And when I've.
Speaker 4: Written about sex, I remember I had one article and
Speaker 4: this was a big one for me.
Speaker 2: But it was because I got a lot of it
Speaker 2: was passed around a lot. Obviously, anything sexu realated is
Speaker 2: always going to be kind of popular.
Speaker 4: But my argument was that sex is the most important
Speaker 4: part of a relationship, and I've done monologues on this
Speaker 4: show about that also, and people hate that because they're like, no,
Speaker 4: what about honesty, what about connection? What about I'm not
Speaker 4: saying it's the only important part of a.
Speaker 2: Relationship, that's crazy.
Speaker 3: Why would I say that. I'm saying it's.
Speaker 4: The most important part of a relationship because it's what
Speaker 4: separates friendship from relationship.
Speaker 2: Is that generally your take as well? Or are you
Speaker 2: going to argue with me?
Speaker 6: No, I'm not going to no argument.
Speaker 2: Let's go yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: Have you seen me online? I love to argue. It's
Speaker 5: my favorite job. I would say this that I think
Speaker 5: the first thing we everyone needs to establish was what
Speaker 5: kind of relationship that they want throughout their lives, Like
Speaker 5: what is important? However, physical intimacy and connection to a
Speaker 5: partner beyond just friendship is important. Then yes, of course,
Speaker 5: sexual intimacy and pleasure and good communication so that everyone
Speaker 5: gets out of sex what they want is critically important.
Speaker 5: That being said, great sex cannot sustain a crappy relationship,
Speaker 5: and the law not just about sex, but sex. If
Speaker 5: it's not good, if there's not a connection, then it
Speaker 5: becomes an overwhelmingly big part of your relationship.
Speaker 4: So the reverse of that for me is, could crappy
Speaker 4: sex be okay? Can you live with that in a
Speaker 4: great relationship? And I think no, I don't know. I
Speaker 4: think that then you have a really great friendship and
Speaker 4: you know, not the relationship part.
Speaker 6: But I don't think you are wrong. I think that
Speaker 6: that pleasure.
Speaker 2: Are you going become a sex therapist because I'll do it?
Speaker 6: I mean, please, please, We.
Speaker 5: Need honestly, we need, we need smart, some more ethical
Speaker 5: people in our field these days.
Speaker 6: So the more the merrier.
Speaker 5: I do think that it is really hard to be
Speaker 5: in a relationship where there is bad sexual and physical
Speaker 5: and maybe not in the beginning like of someone's relationship
Speaker 5: trajectory where maybe they're deciding on kids and there's a
Speaker 5: lot of other stressors, but at some point when everyone
Speaker 5: unloads the baggage of like what it means to live
Speaker 5: a fairy tale life whatever bs that means, the sexport
Speaker 5: kicks in and people remember, oh wait, I enjoy that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 5: And this is important to need this, and so if
Speaker 5: I'm not getting it, then we need to figure out
Speaker 5: how to kind of make all parties fulfilled.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what was the plan? B if you didn't go
Speaker 4: into this.
Speaker 3: Field law school? I guess I have a particular like brand.
Speaker 6: No, I think that might be a lie.
Speaker 5: I didn't and maybe this is maybe this is my
Speaker 5: m O, which might be a problem.
Speaker 6: I don't really ever have a plan B. I just
Speaker 6: assume the plan it's no work, and and I run
Speaker 6: with it.
Speaker 5: It may not be the most strategic strategy, but I
Speaker 5: never really thought about what what if it didn't work?
Speaker 5: And my parents asked me, what are you going to
Speaker 5: do with this career? And I thought, don't know, but
Speaker 5: I'll just figure it out. And I was at this
Speaker 5: moment when in the I guess late nineties, early eighties,
Speaker 5: there weren't a lot of us in this in the space.
Speaker 6: It was the early days of the internet.
Speaker 5: Like once you got on a TV show, your voice
Speaker 5: was out there and other people called in the field
Speaker 5: wasn't crowded. So I like to think I was am
Speaker 5: really good at what I do, But also I recognized
Speaker 5: it was this moment in time too, that that gave
Speaker 5: me an opportunity to find a to find a public voice.
Speaker 5: Because there was no career preath. I had no idea
Speaker 5: what this career was going to look like. All I
Speaker 5: know is that I was a grad school student on
Speaker 5: the Howard Stern Show, and the cat, the taxi driver
Speaker 5: I was in recognize my voice from the show, and
Speaker 5: I thought it was the weirdest thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Ever, that's awesome is this saying I'll either find a
Speaker 4: way or make one. It just sounds like you made
Speaker 4: one for yourself.
Speaker 6: I think so.
Speaker 5: I think I'm I think I'm continuing to do that
Speaker 5: as I'm in this weird space now professionally.
Speaker 6: Where I'm so.
Speaker 5: Angry so many times that the people who I thought
Speaker 5: were my peers, my professional peers and friends, and now
Speaker 5: I have this other chapter of my life which I
Speaker 5: think and I know I find so meaningful that I
Speaker 5: was kind of made for this moment. So maybe the
Speaker 5: plan A was always You're going to have lots of
Speaker 5: difficult conversation. Maybe the conversation the subject matter is just
Speaker 5: going to change over time.
Speaker 3: What do you worry about?
Speaker 5: I really worry for for my kids and all of
Speaker 5: our kids I should say, not not just my own.
Speaker 5: I have an almost twenty year old and an almost
Speaker 5: sixteen years old.
Speaker 6: I worry that I worry.
Speaker 2: Old enough to have a twenty and a sixteen year old.
Speaker 6: Oh, thank you, good dear metology.
Speaker 2: Right, I'll get that number from you after, Okay.
Speaker 6: Any anytime I worry.
Speaker 5: There are a few aspects to what I worry about,
Speaker 5: and not them as individuals, but generationally speaking, I worry
Speaker 5: that they, because of these weird years in a pandemic,
Speaker 5: without intimacy, without taking emotional and physical risks, that they
Speaker 5: that this generation does not have the skills to have
Speaker 5: emotionally intimates, actually intimate relationships and be able to communicate
Speaker 5: about them, especially because they're so connected via social media
Speaker 5: and phones and filters and you know, other ways of
Speaker 5: being inauthentic. I worry about that. I worry about the
Speaker 5: fact that this is a generation of trigger warnings, where
Speaker 5: we're like warning people like you're about to be uncomfortable,
Speaker 5: so avoid discomfort. I don't, right, that's a space I don't.
Speaker 5: I mean, look, as Jews, we've we've never really been
Speaker 5: afforded a trigger warning.
Speaker 6: So I feel like it's just unfair.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we just walk right into it over and over
Speaker 5: and over again. So there's there's that piece of it.
Speaker 5: And then of course, realistically from the anti Semitism space,
Speaker 5: I really feel I feel for our kids who and
Speaker 5: I speak from personal experience, whom my kids have never
Speaker 5: had a day where they haven't had to deal with something,
Speaker 5: And I feel so badly that they wear armor every
Speaker 5: single day and don't know what it's like to take
Speaker 5: that off, to always have to be ready for something,
Speaker 5: for a fight, for to not know if your peers
Speaker 5: or your friends are really your friends or not. I
Speaker 5: just that's that's what I worry about that we are.
Speaker 5: It is such a sad position for our young people
Speaker 5: to be in.
Speaker 3: That's so tough.
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess I knew that that was the
Speaker 4: case for a lot of people, but it's just hearing that.
Speaker 2: It's really a hard place to be.
Speaker 4: And I hope you're I hope they're doing okay with it,
Speaker 4: and I hope you are also.
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 5: I mean, we we've I will say our obviously, our
Speaker 5: family story at our my son's school was very very public.
Speaker 6: It was an opposed two years.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I don't know it. Tell me, tell me. Yeah, no, oh.
Speaker 5: My son graduated from Fieldston in May of twenty three,
Speaker 5: and so we dealt with an anti semitic incident basically
Speaker 5: every year of high school that we were very much
Speaker 5: like all in and my son is this incredible voice
Speaker 5: and knows how to be a leader and knows how
Speaker 5: to fight even when the stakes are high. And we
Speaker 5: just had incident after incidents, So to be honest, he
Speaker 5: was very very prepared for college like this right ever's
Speaker 5: happening now?
Speaker 7: Yeah, and they should be teaching workshops actually, I mean
Speaker 7: it's it's I can laugh about it now just because
Speaker 7: of course I don't think we have another alternative.
Speaker 5: But we've we've been we've been down this road before,
Speaker 5: so so you know, they they get it, and I
Speaker 5: think they I've always given them a healthy dose of
Speaker 5: identity and who they are and to keep your head
Speaker 5: on a swivel.
Speaker 6: But that's how I was raised. I don't understand everyone still.
Speaker 2: Like fair that they have to deal with it, but
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 4: You're giving them the foundation at home and the basis
Speaker 4: for everything that they're going to encounter in their lives.
Speaker 5: Yes, And I feel badly like that in this day
Speaker 5: and age college kids. I mean, depending on where you
Speaker 5: are more or less, but there's I don't think there's
Speaker 5: any place that's totally immune.
Speaker 6: To this stuff that.
Speaker 5: They don't ever really get a day of being like
Speaker 5: a dumb nineteen year old, right, yeah, yeah for fair, Yeah,
Speaker 5: they really they don't find it fair at all.
Speaker 2: What advice would you give your sixteen year old self.
Speaker 5: I would tell my sixteen year old self that this
Speaker 5: is not the best time of your life, not because
Speaker 5: it was terrible, just because every chapter should be a
Speaker 5: meaningful chapter, and when the chapter ends, it's time for
Speaker 5: a new one, and that's a good thing. I think
Speaker 5: a lot of us spend time in the past thinking
Speaker 5: that this was the best moment, and it shouldn't be.
Speaker 5: It shouldn't be the best moment. Every chapter should be
Speaker 5: meaningful and be a part of your story and add
Speaker 5: to the to the next story that we tell.
Speaker 2: Sixteen is pretty good, though, that was a good chapter.
Speaker 3: You're not even worried about that many things.
Speaker 4: You're like, you know, living with your parents, that your
Speaker 4: life is mostly taken care of for you.
Speaker 6: It's you know, I get it.
Speaker 2: It's only gotten better since then. But I like sixteen, it.
Speaker 5: Was no I mean, i'd like sixteen too, although I
Speaker 5: don't think I would want to.
Speaker 6: Well, I know for sure I would not want to
Speaker 6: be sixteen today.
Speaker 5: I think so much had the worst thing ever, I
Speaker 5: would hate, hate it. I tell my students all the time.
Speaker 5: I tell my own kids, I made plenty of mistakes,
Speaker 5: plenty of things.
Speaker 6: Like yeah, and you'll never hear about them.
Speaker 3: Because there are no pictures.
Speaker 6: No, there are no pictures.
Speaker 5: And also if someone knew about it, it was because
Speaker 5: they were there and they weren't saying any right.
Speaker 4: Yes, absolutely, well, I love this. Yeah, I've loved this conversation.
Speaker 4: I think you're just awesome. You do such great work,
Speaker 4: and you're such an interesting point of view. I think
Speaker 4: that everything that you say is very unique. End us
Speaker 4: here with your best tip for my listeners on how
Speaker 4: they can improve their lives.
Speaker 5: I would tell your listeners to get rid of the
Speaker 5: fairy tale. I am very much a realist. I'm not
Speaker 5: a romantic. That doesn't mean I don't like romance, but
Speaker 5: I feel like these stories we were told throughout our
Speaker 5: lives set us up for failures, so that when the
Speaker 5: challenge is in our midst, we don't know what to do.
Speaker 5: With it, and if we veer off a certain path,
Speaker 5: we think there's something wrong with us, as opposed to
Speaker 5: maybe thinking that there was something wrong with the story.
Speaker 5: And so don't let this idea of what's normal or
Speaker 5: typical paralyze you emotion the sexually. We should be able
Speaker 5: to chart our own our own path forward. And who
Speaker 5: cares if it doesn't look like your neighbor. Who cares
Speaker 5: if it doesn't look like the book you read?
Speaker 6: Those are stories you imagined for yourself. Yeah, yeah, very much,
Speaker 6: so love it.
Speaker 3: She is Logan Lefkoff.
Speaker 4: Check her out The Sexy Side of Zionism on Izzy,
Speaker 4: follow her on X.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming on, Logan, Thank you.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Marco
Speaker 1: Witch Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.