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Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh, Sam, I love you so much. I

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Speaker 1: love you almost as much as the great stories that

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Speaker 1: are about to come up.

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Speaker 2: And you know what, I love equally as much as

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Speaker 2: the two minutes of sponsors coming up, because they support

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Speaker 2: the show and make sure that we will have her happily.

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Speaker 1: Ever after, I thought.

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Speaker 2: He was my baby daddy. Now my aunt's dating him.

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Speaker 1: That's just a little complicated.

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Speaker 2: My step aunt, female forty five is dating my ex

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Speaker 2: male twenty six, who I thought was my baby daddy.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean thought I Female twenty nine had

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Speaker 2: the definition of a failed hot girl. Summer four years ago,

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Speaker 2: I meet my ex. He was twenty two. I was

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Speaker 2: twenty five. When we meet, I was living with a

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Speaker 2: different ex because he wouldn't move out no matter how

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Speaker 2: much I tried. Eventually I got myself a different place

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Speaker 2: and paid for two apartments. But that's a different story.

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Speaker 2: I live in a very cheap city in the Midwest,

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Speaker 2: and at the time I rent for a one bedroom

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Speaker 2: was three hundred and ninety dollars. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from Zealous ideal Cold and if you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime suppered it I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and

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Speaker 2: Opie says. Our relationship was strictly friends with benefits, but

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Speaker 2: it was sometimes a few times a week. But like

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Speaker 2: I had mentioned, hot girl summer was in full effect,

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Speaker 2: and I had spicy sleep with another man at the time,

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Speaker 2: just once, the classic one night stand. Because of too

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Speaker 2: many drinks, I had started puking randomly, but I was

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Speaker 2: on birth control, so there's no way, right right, silly silly.

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Speaker 2: I took three pregnancy tests and they were all negative.

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Speaker 2: Oh dang man, that's scary. So I ended up going

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Speaker 2: to the doctor and getting a blood test and getting pregnants.

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Speaker 2: After the first obgyn appointment, they had informed me that

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Speaker 2: I was three months a long dang being as I

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Speaker 2: wasn't in a relationship at all, I had to go

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Speaker 2: back and try and pinpoint the day exactly because they

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Speaker 2: never tell you the exact day, just around when it

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Speaker 2: could have happened. So I messaged X we could call

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Speaker 2: him Terry. We talked, and we decided that I was

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Speaker 2: going to keep the baby and we were going to

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Speaker 2: try and make this work, slowly getting to know each

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Speaker 2: other for more than just spicy sleep. About a month

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Speaker 2: down the road, he moved into my apartment and started

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Speaker 2: dating just your friends with benefits, And then now you're

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Speaker 2: gonna be like parenting.

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Speaker 3: Except not because that's not his key.

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Speaker 2: Not his kid. Honestly, I really thought he was someone

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Speaker 2: I could spend my life with. He really turned his

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Speaker 2: life into something anyone would be proud of. He got

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Speaker 2: a really nice paying job, but he didn't have his license,

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Speaker 2: and the job was forty five minutes from our city,

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Speaker 2: so I being a pleased person and wanting to see

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Speaker 2: us get into a healthy financial place before the baby,

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Speaker 2: I was still working as a cook, so my schedule

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Speaker 2: was only nice and this job was first shift, so

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Speaker 2: it worked perfectly. I drove him to work and picked

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Speaker 2: him up every day, and I worked the days he

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Speaker 2: didn't so I could sleep. Eventually he got his license,

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Speaker 2: which I was about seven months pregnant now, and this

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Speaker 2: job was making us enough to pay the rent or

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Speaker 2: just the one because another ex moved out of my

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Speaker 2: old place and the car bill, and live comfortably. About

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Speaker 2: eight months along, we got a bigger apartment and moved

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Speaker 2: there and got the nursery already, and we were pretty happy.

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Speaker 2: Nine months and my daughter finally arrived and I'm in love.

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Speaker 2: She is my world. However, she was dark. Looking at me,

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Speaker 2: you would never guess that I'm native. I have blonde

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Speaker 2: hair and blue eyes, but my dad and grandpa are

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Speaker 2: definitely Native, dark skin, dark hair, and my youngest brother

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Speaker 2: has the most perfect mocha skin color. So when she

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Speaker 2: was born, I was dumbfounded because could she be black?

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Speaker 2: Is she native? The one night Stan was black, but

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Speaker 2: the timing didn't match, or so I thought, Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think you get hit it on the head. Then you

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Speaker 2: know exactly what happened. So long story short, Terry and

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Speaker 2: I ended up breaking up because the paternity came back

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Speaker 2: in my one night stand was the father riped Jerry. Now,

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Speaker 2: I never ever had hard feelings, and in real life

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Speaker 2: he had told me he never really loved me anyway,

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Speaker 2: just had love for me. So heartbroken but understanding, my

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Speaker 2: daughter and I moved back in with my mom, and

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Speaker 2: I started to have my daughter's father get to know

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Speaker 2: her since he had not gotten to know her for

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Speaker 2: the first two months of her life. Paternity tests take

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Speaker 2: a while sometimes Over the next year, Terry and I

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Speaker 2: actually kept having a sort of relationship because he kept

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Speaker 2: me close for the things I could still do for him,

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Speaker 2: even though he had an animosity towards me, which is understandable.

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Speaker 2: We did a lot of fighting and he gaslit me

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Speaker 2: every chance he got, and maybe he was trying to

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Speaker 2: subconsciously get back at me because I made a mistake

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Speaker 2: on what day I got pregnant. Saw It's not really

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Speaker 2: O Pea's fault. She just said, hey, I think you

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Speaker 2: might be the dad, and you kind of jumped on that,

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Speaker 2: So I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I think it is O Pie's fault if she didn't

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Speaker 3: tell him that there were other partners involved.

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Speaker 2: Sure, but like I presumably she didn't say you're the dad.

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Speaker 2: She was like, hey, have a kid, you were the

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Speaker 2: person I was sleeping with me and miss selmprin Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And then the second that they found out that he

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Speaker 2: wasn't the dad, you know, she was like, hey, all right,

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Speaker 2: my bad. Eventually he went to rehab. He had a

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Speaker 2: drinking problem before, during, and after we were dating, and

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Speaker 2: we stopped hanging out because he was trying to stay sober.

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Speaker 2: And I was a single woman who had a few

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Speaker 2: free days a week because my daughter's father was really

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Speaker 2: good with being in her life, and I always just

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Speaker 2: wanted that for her. So I was out with friends

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Speaker 2: and my best friend was a bartender at one of

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Speaker 2: the local hotspots, and I would visit her. Turns out,

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Speaker 2: so did my step aunt. We'll call her Elaine. We

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Speaker 2: were never we're very close, but when I saw her out,

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Speaker 2: we would chat and be friendly. I started seeing Terry

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Speaker 2: come out to this bar eventually, because you can't get

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Speaker 2: sober unless you actually want to. Fine, whatever he needs

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Speaker 2: really whatever? Okay, sorry, fine? Whatever. He never really tried

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Speaker 2: to talk to me and I had started hanging out

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Speaker 2: with someone else at this time, about three months after

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Speaker 2: Terry and I stopped hanging out. One night. What sorry,

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Speaker 2: this is poorly written. Uh, fine, whatever. He never really

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Speaker 2: tried to talk to me, and I had started hanging

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Speaker 2: out with someone else at this time, about three months

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Speaker 2: after Terry and I stopped hanging One night, me and

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Speaker 2: new fling air in or out and see my aunt

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Speaker 2: and she invites me to an after bar bonfire at

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Speaker 2: her house. Bars around here close at two thirty and

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Speaker 2: people always keep it going after so cool we go

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Speaker 2: because I know where she lives, and why not. That's

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Speaker 2: crazy to me to go out after two thirty, that's

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Speaker 2: I mean like, that's cutting it close for me.

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Speaker 3: You know what you mean cutting it close for you? You'd

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Speaker 3: be home by eleven.

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Speaker 2: I've been out until too. It's too late. That's why

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Speaker 2: it's called too it's too late time to go home.

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Speaker 2: After two is is morning time.

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Speaker 1: That's why they call it too.

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Speaker 2: Because it's too late. So cool, we go because I

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Speaker 2: know where she lives, and why not we show up,

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Speaker 2: go sit by the fire, and walk into the house

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Speaker 2: and see Terry. I'm like, Okay, well, I see some

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Speaker 2: people I know he knows, so I'm not too concerned.

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Speaker 2: A few weeks have gone by and I see her

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Speaker 2: pull up to the bar and he's in her front seat.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they carpool. Did we think about that? Maybe? Or

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Speaker 2: maybe he's got a job there.

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Speaker 3: Did we think about that.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he's trying to make sobriety really hard by working

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Speaker 2: at a bar. I don't know. Okay, cool, he was

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Speaker 2: probably hanging with her and the other friends. Cool. Mind you,

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Speaker 2: My aunt knows exactly who he is, because he's been

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Speaker 2: on Christmas and other holidays with me. Now, Terry's mom

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Speaker 2: and I are pretty close. At this time, her and

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Speaker 2: I had spent a lot of time together when I

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Speaker 2: was pregnant because she was a stay ato mom for

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Speaker 2: her niece whose parents were addicts, and I would invite

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Speaker 2: her to lunch because she happens to live right above

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Speaker 2: Terry in her old apartment, so she knows what's going on.

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Speaker 2: I ask her if they're seeing each other, and she

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Speaker 2: just gives me a look. Well, she probably she went. Well,

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Speaker 2: let's just say I didn't react the right way, showed

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Speaker 2: up at his house, demanded all of my things. I

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Speaker 2: left behind TV, air conditioner and some pots and pans,

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Speaker 2: things I let him use because we were friends. I

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Speaker 2: sent her a message letting her know that she was

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Speaker 2: no longer family to me. No one and on that

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Speaker 2: side of my family sees it as wrong, as they

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Speaker 2: say I should get over it. But there's some details

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Speaker 2: I've left out from this post, uh and from telling

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Speaker 2: them because I'm not ready to face the reality of

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Speaker 2: what happened. But it's now been two years and it

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Speaker 2: still makes me uncomfortable seeing them anywhere. Am I the

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Speaker 2: ale overging no slash low contact with my step aunt

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Speaker 2: and most of that side of the family because they

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Speaker 2: see nothing wrong with their dating. Do you have any final.

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Speaker 3: Thoughts You're kind of the ale a little bit.

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Speaker 2: I kind of agree.

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Speaker 3: Like to tell you, I said there at the end,

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Speaker 3: you're like, and I haven't said certain things because I'm

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Speaker 3: not ready to face reality. And it's like, yeah, you're

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Speaker 3: moving like you're not operating in reality, because the reality

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Speaker 3: is you're having a hot girl summer and you thought

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Speaker 3: this guy was the father and your child, and it

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Speaker 3: really feels like you did not tell him.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he assumed you were exclusive. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what's going on there, but you did

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Speaker 3: this other thing with this other guy, and it really

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Speaker 3: feels like he was, you know.

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Speaker 2: He She said that he never like they when they

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Speaker 2: first started seeing each other, it was just friends with

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Speaker 2: benefits thing like very occasionally. That's what she said. So

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Speaker 2: it doesn't seem like it was at all exclusive.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was that it was friends with benefits,

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Speaker 3: but then also we're hanging out all the time.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it wasn't. I think she made it

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Speaker 2: seem like it wasn't at all like a relationship or

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Speaker 2: anything regardless. But I agree, it seems like she's putting

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Speaker 2: a lot of weight onto this relationship that was purely circumstantial,

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Speaker 2: like he got into it because he thought that this

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Speaker 2: kid was his.

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Speaker 1: Right and then and now he's step aunt.

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Speaker 2: Dating your step aunt, which is like what even is

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Speaker 2: it the aunt, her stepmom's or stepparents' sister.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like a tenuous connection it bet, Yeah, that's

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Speaker 3: not even it's not your aunt, it's not your mom,

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Speaker 3: it's not your sister, it's not even your aunt, it's

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Speaker 3: your step on.

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Speaker 2: I feel like if you think that it, like the

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Speaker 2: other information that you have, would change people's minds. And

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Speaker 2: I think it's a little bit unfair to be like,

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Speaker 2: why don't they agree with me when you haven't given

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Speaker 2: them all of the information?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 3: I'm uh.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you just never had it like an

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Speaker 2: actual like this isn't really it's an ex but there's

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Speaker 2: just a lot of circumstances going on that make it

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Speaker 2: a little bit more complicated. Uh okay, I'm confused. Is

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Speaker 2: it because she's older that you're upset or because it's

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Speaker 2: a step aunt who isn't really related to you? Yes,

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Speaker 2: he's probably dating her to irritate you, and it was successful.

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Speaker 2: But I'm probably the only one who's going to call

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Speaker 2: you out for this. You got into a relationship with

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Speaker 2: this person and we're about to say he's the baby

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Speaker 2: daddy when you weren't sure who it was. You are

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Speaker 2: the ale for that. You should have stayed single and

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Speaker 2: sorted out your messiness before trying a relationship. I don't

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Speaker 2: think more backstory about the relationship between you and Terry

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Speaker 2: is needed, but maybe the aunt part, because it's kind

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Speaker 2: of glazed over and it could be because you're upset.

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Speaker 2: Op says, I'll only say I'll provide more because I

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Speaker 2: tried to condense it to not be so long, but like,

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of things that went on in the

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Speaker 2: timeframe of being together while I was pregnant and after

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Speaker 2: and we were still hanging out. I think I made

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Speaker 2: it sound like it was all fast moving, but I

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Speaker 2: didn't start dating Aaron. We were just friends hanging out.

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Speaker 2: And I suppose I left out all of the money

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Speaker 2: Terry owes me because after we broke up, he had

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Speaker 2: to get a new car because his was unusable, and

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Speaker 2: so I helped them pay for a new one with

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Speaker 2: my savings because he was working and promised to pay

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Speaker 2: me back, which he never did. Her being my step

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Speaker 2: aunt isn't why I'm hurt. I've known this woman since

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Speaker 2: I was four. I'm almost thirty. It hurt me because

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Speaker 2: she didn't even think twice about it. Maybe it's just me,

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Speaker 2: but I would never even consider dating my niece's ex boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: who has a pretty messed up history with my niece.

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Speaker 2: But you're right, I tried to do that stay single

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Speaker 2: thing until I know part but one. It's my first

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Speaker 2: and he was very persistent in moving in asap as

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Speaker 2: he lived with his parents at the time, and I

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Speaker 2: have felt like the a hole. But I also feel

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Speaker 2: like who would date their family's ex unless they don't

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Speaker 2: see me as family, which is a right each to

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Speaker 2: their own. But maybe I'm the a whole. Bookish cat

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Speaker 2: Lady says, I'm a little confused by it all, but

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Speaker 2: I don't see what the problem is. You were sleeping

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Speaker 2: around and got pregnant, thought it might be Terry's, so

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Speaker 2: he was willing to make a go of it for

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Speaker 2: the baby. Turns out baby wasn't his, and you broke up.

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Speaker 2: It also sounds like you moved on pretty quickly and

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Speaker 2: there wasn't really love or anything between you in the

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Speaker 2: first place. But now you're upset he moved on. I

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Speaker 2: don't really understand what his relationship going forward has to

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Speaker 2: do with you. And you said you're not close to

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Speaker 2: your step on, so what does it matter? Okay, so

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Speaker 2: they're not close, she's just known her for a while.

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Speaker 3: I really it feels like Opie's made a lot of

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Speaker 3: that to try to make it sound like justified in

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Speaker 3: her being upset.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like I don't know where.

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Speaker 3: I don't know where the level of like upsetness is

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Speaker 3: coming from.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, uh, I feel like she's not over

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Speaker 2: this guy. Yeah, that's at the end of the day.

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Speaker 2: I feel like she's still into him because she said

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Speaker 2: that they were still hanging out after they broke up,

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Speaker 2: so I feel like she had maybe hopes that they

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Speaker 2: would get back together. Yeah, the age gap is a

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Speaker 2: little weird, but other than that, I don't see why

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Speaker 2: it's your problem. Sorry if I've missed something more in

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00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,760
Speaker 2: this issue, but I'm just not seeing the issue. Opie says,

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Speaker 2: I'm not really upset anymore. This has been two years.

288
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Speaker 2: This was two years ago. It just happened so fast

289
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Speaker 2: after we stopped talking, like three months, I was not

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Speaker 2: even dating or even sleeping around with Aaron. We were

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Speaker 2: just friends hanging out. I say we aren't closed because

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have specifically chose her to hang out with.

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Speaker 2: But we have been family since I was four, so

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Speaker 2: it's like the principle. Maybe I guess I just don't

295
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Speaker 2: want to see the person I planned a future with

296
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Speaker 2: that didn't work out on my own fault, but like

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Speaker 2: the trauma for both of us, Like I felt like

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Speaker 2: the a hole after it happened, but I never expected

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Speaker 2: him to stay or anything. But like, why my family.

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Speaker 3: My best friend hooked up with my ex and her mom.

301
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Speaker 2: Oh that's a bad friend.

302
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Speaker 1: So get ready for a long, long story, but here goes.

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Speaker 3: My ex and I had been for seven years and

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Speaker 3: we had a friend group that would regularly hang out

305
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:07,120
Speaker 3: during the week or weekends, consisting of me, my ex,

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00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 3: my good friend for over nine years, and another really

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Speaker 3: close friend of mine.

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Speaker 1: Three guys, one girl.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Agreeable Ad sixty nine

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Speaker 3: to twenty five, and if you want to submit your

311
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,840
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subured it.

312
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Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly.

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Speaker 3: And Op says a lot of her friends went to

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Speaker 3: college far away, so in order to help her feel

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Speaker 3: like she wasn't all alone besides just having me, I

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00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,800
Speaker 3: chose to have her tag along with me and my

317
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,240
Speaker 3: friends that went to college locally. We had a lot

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Speaker 3: of fun throughout weeks, and it had probably been like

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Speaker 3: this for two years. My friends genuinely enjoyed her, and

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00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,760
Speaker 3: I was happy because I could be with her, but

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00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:53,360
Speaker 3: also my guy friends a lot, and she was happy

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Speaker 3: because she had a group of friends to be with

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Speaker 3: instead of just being alone while all her girlfriends were

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Speaker 3: at college.

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Speaker 1: Ways. My best friend of ten years is known for

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Speaker 1: being plain stupid, making irresponsible choices, which hindsight is a

327
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Speaker 1: red flag for a person to surround myself with, But

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Speaker 1: he came off as just silly and like, oh, that's

329
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Speaker 1: just how they are.

330
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Speaker 3: As time went on, he had dated and hooked up

331
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,800
Speaker 3: with my girlfriend's best friend and two other girls in

332
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 3: her friend group, one of which had a boyfriend, and

333
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,200
Speaker 3: my girl was pierced at her friend for cheating.

334
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Speaker 2: Yikes.

335
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Speaker 3: Borf also hooked up with another friend of hers SPORF,

336
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,440
Speaker 3: stop stop it, bor Ah, that's too many women. BORF

337
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,760
Speaker 3: and a girl that my girlfriend met at a bar

338
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,440
Speaker 3: and became friends with Sporf.

339
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Speaker 2: He's making his way through the friend group.

340
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:49,160
Speaker 3: Borf is just crossing off names like it's Christmas list.

341
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,880
Speaker 3: So my girl knows and is friends with at least

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00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:57,120
Speaker 3: five of the chicks that Borf had been with. She

343
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 3: would constantly tell me he's gross, and so would the

344
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,760
Speaker 3: chicks that he had been with before as they watched

345
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,960
Speaker 3: him get with their other friends. In high school, he

346
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,120
Speaker 3: had tried to hook up with two of our friends'

347
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,919
Speaker 3: exes as well, one that was in a relationship for

348
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Speaker 3: five years. I'm a team leader at work and got

349
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,600
Speaker 3: him a job where I worked, and after a year

350
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 3: he up and left with no call or anything to

351
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 3: our boss, which looks bad on me, and he would

352
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,159
Speaker 3: avoid talking about it when I brought it up whenever

353
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,160
Speaker 3: we'd hang out.

354
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,600
Speaker 1: Being jobless. An old high school friend had an MMA

355
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 1: match in La, so I paid to fly myself and

356
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Speaker 1: best friend out to LA for a week to see

357
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,080
Speaker 1: our buddy fight, and paid for the flight back.

358
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Speaker 3: Now the story the other friend five years, the other

359
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,240
Speaker 3: one that was in our hangout group, had been getting

360
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,440
Speaker 3: annoyed with me and talking about me behind my back

361
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,159
Speaker 3: to my girl, and she would voice her issues with

362
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,320
Speaker 3: me behind my back to him as well, and neither

363
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,959
Speaker 3: person would tell me about it.

364
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 1: Instead, they just held it in.

365
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,119
Speaker 3: In turn, a friend of five years started being a

366
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,920
Speaker 3: jerk to me to the point where I told him

367
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 3: that we need some time apart because I don't know

368
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,480
Speaker 3: why he's being such a jerk for no reason. When

369
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 3: I said this, my girl was telling me that I

370
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,520
Speaker 3: just need to make up with him because she misses

371
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 3: our friend group, but I had nothing to apologize for.

372
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 3: This would be a good time to mention that. Meanwhile,

373
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 3: my good friend of ten years, the male jiggelow borf,

374
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 3: had banged my girl's sixty year old mother and my

375
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 3: girl woke me up to make me stop them, to

376
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 3: which I was forced into a room where they were

377
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 3: banging and they did not stop. My friend was then

378
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 3: banned from her house and he hated him. So I

379
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 3: made up with my other friend and we had been

380
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,960
Speaker 3: getting along so so because he was still a jerk.

381
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,520
Speaker 3: Somewhat about two months past and my girl forgave my

382
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 3: friend for his quitat session with her mom and he

383
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 3: invited to a party at her house while her mom

384
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 3: was out of town. He still banned from their house.

385
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 3: We had started playing a card game called Stirred the Pot,

386
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 3: and I got the question Who's the most romantic? So

387
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,800
Speaker 3: I jokingly said it was Borf. But before I could

388
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 3: say that, my girl sneered not you in front of everyone.

389
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 3: I let it slide and figured i'd bring it up later.

390
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 1: Borf was also letting it slide. As the night went.

391
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,120
Speaker 3: On, I fell tired around twelve am and went to bed.

392
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 3: My girl came upstairs and woke me up at three,

393
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,199
Speaker 3: waisted off her booty.

394
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: I had a few.

395
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 3: Drinks myself, and she tried to get foique, to which

396
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 3: I declined due to the fact that she had made

397
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 3: that crappy remark earlier. She then doubled down and said

398
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:50,200
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but you're not. I just took her out

399
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 3: for a five hundred dollars date five days prior, set

400
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,480
Speaker 3: up an Xbox four so we could play games that

401
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 3: she liked together, and I played drums in a band.

402
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 3: But she likes country, which I hate. But I bought

403
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 3: and learned acoustic guitar to play country for her.

404
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 1: I'm sure there are other things, but those were.

405
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 3: All things I had done roman recently to her, Even

406
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 3: though she says I'm not romantic. We got into a

407
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,439
Speaker 3: slight yelling match and I stated, this is stupid and

408
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 3: I'm going home.

409
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 1: She asked if we.

410
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 3: Should just break up, and I said, is that what

411
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 3: you want? She said no, and then kept on stating

412
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,879
Speaker 3: that I'm not romantic and all this other crap. I

413
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 3: finally told her to make up her mind, as she

414
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 3: had been telling me to leave then stay back and forth.

415
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 3: I said, if I leave, I'm never coming back and

416
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 3: stormed out while her best friend and my best friend

417
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 3: were going to sleep in her basement. Next morning, I

418
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 3: called and asked if she was all right, and stated

419
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 3: we needed to talk and make sure we're good because

420
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 3: I felt that a seven year relationship shouldn't end over

421
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 3: something dumb like that. She came to my house and

422
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 3: broke up with me and said that there's nothing we

423
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 3: could do to fix it. My other friend, the one

424
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 3: of five years that I just made up with, rushed

425
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 3: to my to console me as he told me he

426
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 3: knew that she had been thinking about ending things with me,

427
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 3: but didn't know when she would, So I called him

428
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 3: a pos and told him to leave.

429
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 1: Because what kind of friend keeps that behind my back?

430
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 2: A bad friend? All of your friends suck.

431
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 3: This is a bad this is a bad little grin.

432
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 2: This is the most toxic friend group ever scene.

433
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 3: My best friend was ignoring my calls and came to

434
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 3: pick me up a few days later to hang out.

435
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 3: We had a long talk and he was silent as

436
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,640
Speaker 3: I told him how I felt, and he said, man,

437
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 3: this is so heavy. He parked on the side of

438
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 3: the road and just said nothing, which felt good. Honestly.

439
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 3: Seeing my friend be so hurt for me, I said,

440
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 3: I was like, Wow, this guy really gets it. Meanwhile,

441
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 3: that whole week after being broken up with, my girl

442
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 3: wouldn't respond to me, just asking her for the reason

443
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 3: why we couldn't talk and figure this out.

444
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 2: Well, she's not really your girl anymore.

445
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, she broke up with you.

446
00:21:55,119 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that throwing seven years away would really break

447
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,159
Speaker 3: me if it was over a silly fight. Her reason

448
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 3: she gave was I need to learn how to be

449
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 3: happy without relying on you.

450
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 2: He said, I need to learn what the BARF action's

451
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 2: all about.

452
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 3: I need to learn what Borf's got going on. And

453
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 3: I said, you can do that and still have me

454
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 3: to fall back on. If you can't find happiness alone,

455
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 3: I'll still be here. To hold you up if you

456
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 3: need it, to which she said, no, that's why I

457
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 3: was asking for another reason, because logically it didn't make

458
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 3: sense to me. A week went by and I tried

459
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 3: to rekindle the friendship with the backstabber, to which he

460
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 3: said I treated her like crap. I told him I

461
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 3: made the same jokes we all made at each other.

462
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 3: I understand it probably felt more personal coming from me

463
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 3: her boyfriend instead of one of the guys, but I

464
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 3: never yelled, cheated, or got physical or anything like that

465
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 3: to her. She would laugh historically at the jokes that

466
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 3: all of us said, and it was never an attacking

467
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 3: kind of joke.

468
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 1: She would make them as well. Anyway. When he said

469
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: I treated her bad, I snapped.

470
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 3: And said, what does that make You cheated on the

471
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 3: girl that you're buying a ring for and never told

472
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 3: her and hung up. I tried to call my best

473
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 3: friend to tell him he was the only rock in

474
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 3: my life right now and I appreciate him, but he

475
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 3: didn't answer and avoided me until Friday at four fifteen,

476
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 3: which he knows is right before I get off. He

477
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,239
Speaker 3: told me he had feelings for my girl and he

478
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 3: was going to pursue those feelings.

479
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 2: What wait, is this Borf?

480
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 1: I think that's Borf boor Op? You can't tell her what?

481
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a.

482
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 3: Little there's like no names of this story.

483
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry, it's Borf, but it's Pride. It might be Barf.

484
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 2: I think it might be Bref and Op. You gotta

485
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 2: get new best friends. You gotta look up what the

486
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 2: word best friend means and then go from there because

487
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:41,439
Speaker 2: you don't know what it means.

488
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: I pretty much went red, ended the call and sped home.

489
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 3: You have a little bit more story left here, But

490
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 3: with friends like these, who needs enemies?

491
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

492
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 2: I mean, Borf is just the worst person ever. He's

493
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 2: just evil. He's not your friend. He's he's on He's

494
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 2: maybe Austin Powers. But if you reas evil, I haven't

495
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 2: seen that movie.

496
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 3: He Borf hooked up with your ex girlfriend's mom, then

497
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,679
Speaker 3: you all broke up, and he said, I wonder if

498
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 3: those traits got passed down.

499
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 2: Yikes, yikes, yikes, yikes. I've just been I would. I'm

500
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 2: so concerned if your ex is into that. I'm so

501
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 2: concerned what her mental state is like, if she wants

502
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 2: to hook up with the guy who hooked up with

503
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 2: her mom. It's really quite crazy.

504
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's just time. It's time to it's time

505
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 3: to go. Yeah, time to go live a new life.

506
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 1: The moved.

507
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 3: You start a brand new life, new life, wipe the

508
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 3: whole slake clean new life.

509
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 2: Plealy, get rid of all of your old friends, all

510
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 2: of them.

511
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: So let's finish this story.

512
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 3: Not but thirty minutes later, a very old friend calls,

513
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,959
Speaker 3: who lives hundreds of miles away. He asked, did borf

514
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 3: just call you and tell you he has feelings for

515
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 3: your girl? I said yeah, and he said he's not

516
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 3: telling you everything. He had hooked up with her multiple times,

517
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 3: including the night before y'all broke up.

518
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 2: That was enemyes to lovers Man. She said she hated

519
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 2: that guy. She said, he's so creepy and weird, and

520
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 2: he keeps hooking up with all my friends and my

521
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: mom and my mom. Girl, you gotta raise your standards,

522
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 2: do better. You suck. Everyone sucks.

523
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 3: So I went even more red and called her immediately.

524
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 3: This time she answered it, and I let her have it,

525
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 3: calling her every word under the sun, making sure she

526
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: knew how nasty it is that her new man fling

527
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 3: up that her new man had to fling with her

528
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 3: mom and all of her friends. My overreacting for telling

529
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 3: our entire friend group, including the guys who went to

530
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 3: different states, about the whole thing, and stating that if

531
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 3: anyone associated with him or any of those three people,

532
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,679
Speaker 3: simply do not ever associate with me again.

533
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 1: Um, yes, you'd be the a hole to yourself.

534
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, just I do think it's a valid crash out,

535
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: a very valid crash out crash out. Nonetheless, if I

536
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 2: were to give you, like, like reasonable advice, it would

537
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 2: be don't do that and cut off all of these people.

538
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 3: My reasonable advice would be to join a monastery of stuff.

539
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta start over, find me all mountains, Tibetan monastery.

540
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 3: Find peace anywhere else besides this friend group.

541
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,959
Speaker 2: I agreed, big time agreed.

542
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, find peace in a good book.

543
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, start reading OPI maybe you'll learn something.

544
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 3: But man, oh man, is that the end of that story?

545
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 2: I finally blocked my ex for good. Then his girlfriend

546
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 2: showed up.

547
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 1: Ah, he's resourceful.

548
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the Okay storytime Separate It.

549
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 2: I twenty eight female have been living in Asia for

550
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 2: almost five years and my boyfriend thirty five male is

551
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 2: also your but lives in a neighboring country. Sadly shout

552
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: out to long distance relationship partners. By the way, this

553
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 2: comes from Overstimulated Bird, and if you want to submit

554
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

555
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 2: subret it. I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Carly and OPI says.

556
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 2: A few months ago this year, I received a message

557
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 2: request on Instagram, and shortly after a follow request from

558
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 2: someone I didn't know, but who turned out to be

559
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 2: the girlfriend of my first ex. We dated more than

560
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: five years ago and were together for almost five months.

561
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 2: Twenty nine mail I was taken aback a bit and

562
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 2: just overall got weird vibes. My relationship with his ex

563
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: was short and volatile because we were young and stupid

564
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:48,120
Speaker 2: and clearly did not know how to communicate. Thankfully, therapy

565
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 2: has helped me a lot, and now I'm in a

566
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 2: much happier place, and we managed to be friends after

567
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: I had grieved that relationship. Contacts after moving to Asia

568
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 2: went lower. Occasionally the first couple of years, we would

569
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 2: catch up maybe three or four times per year, but

570
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 2: now it was limited to sending Happy Birthday, Happy New

571
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 2: Years from both sides, and him reacting to my Instagram stories.

572
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: So I accepted the follow request and followed back to

573
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 2: see what this was about. And oh boy, what I

574
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 2: read can be overall translated as hope you're doing well.

575
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 2: I'm an fake name the girlfriend from X. I hope

576
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 2: you don't misunderstand this message, but I want to know

577
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 2: your version of the story, Know what happened, what do

578
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 2: you need and if we can help you?

579
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: If we can help you, well, what does that mean?

580
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: There are always two versions of a story, and I

581
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 2: would like to hear you out. Since you're often in

582
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 2: contact with X. X says that we have to be

583
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 2: empathic and be nice to people, So I'd like to

584
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,239
Speaker 2: do that with you. Thank you, and I'm your like

585
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 2: confused nick young meme because I had not talked to

586
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 2: him for a while and last conversation of more than

587
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 2: a couple of minutes of texting was over two years ago,

588
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 2: probably more. I talked with my boyfriend and some friends.

589
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 2: They were all as shocked as I, especially the phrasing

590
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: of what you need and if we can help you,

591
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: since in our language it sounds really condescending. A friend

592
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 2: of mine was pissed, saying that sounded like she was

593
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 2: talking to me as if I was some sort of

594
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: regular user. And well, I replied, hey, all good here,

595
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 2: or I just don't understand what you mean by help.

596
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 2: I rarely speak to him, mostly just Instagram reactions. After

597
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 2: a while, I got this, well, I don't know. That's

598
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 2: why I say there are always two versions of every story.

599
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 2: At this point, I'm still completely lost with no idea

600
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 2: of what's happening. So I wrote, sure, but what story?

601
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 2: I have no context of what you heard, not sure

602
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: that I have to share, And Anne said, oh, well,

603
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 2: X said that you guys spoke frequently the because when

604
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 2: things ended between you guys, I know, a long time ago,

605
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 2: Elowell is mostly because you moved to a different city.

606
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 2: Later I aired a version from his friends that was

607
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 2: because you started to go out with someone and things

608
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 2: became awkward between you two. A lot of people have

609
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 2: told me different versions, even Ex's mother. I still don't

610
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 2: understand what she wants to know and why I'm a

611
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: topic in this way after so many years. I always

612
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 2: thought it was clear I didn't want a relationship, and

613
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 2: when I first started going out with someone around seven

614
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 2: months after we officially finished, I even got a photo

615
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: of him crying, saying that he was sad that contact

616
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 2: was scarce with massive texts so much that I had

617
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 2: to turn my phone off. Of course, I had to

618
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 2: put some boundaries to keep that friendship today. For example,

619
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 2: three years after we were done, he mentioned something about

620
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 2: having a folder with pictures of mine, profile pictures, screenshots

621
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 2: from Insta stories. He has a folder of those.

622
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 3: That's kind of upsetting.

623
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 2: That's and he's telling you that. I got a chill

624
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: and asked if he still had the spicy ones I

625
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 2: sent him when we were dating, and X said yes.

626
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 2: I asked if they were deleted, because I was really

627
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: uncomfortable knowing that he hadn't deleted those, and once again

628
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 2: went even lower contact, because even if he said he

629
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: would erase them, all I have truly no way of knowing.

630
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: I guess it was a red flag due to context.

631
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 2: But all my posts or stories on Insta that had

632
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 2: me in them were always liked by him, with replies

633
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 2: to a lot of times complimenting how I looked, and

634
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 2: usually either I did not reply or just said thing.

635
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 2: So it seems like he's obsessed with you and is

636
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 2: telling his girlfriend lies about your guys' relationship, maybe pinning

637
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 2: more on you. Uh, and I think you got to

638
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 2: block his girlfriend and him and unfollow him on Instagram

639
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 2: so that he can't keep screenshotting all of your stuff.

640
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, he'd be like.

641
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 3: Think you were bringing this to me my attention. He

642
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 3: is your problem in not mine. Yeah, so I'm gonna

643
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 3: remove myself entirely.

644
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, Lou says, ooh, the girlfriend found them

645
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 2: and that's why she's asking questions. Yeah, I mean, if

646
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 2: he has a folder of all these pictures, she's probably

647
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 2: wondering why finally decided to text and again, since my

648
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: boyfriend pushed me to get to know what this was about. Well,

649
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 2: aside from birthday congratulations, there are no conversations. I don't

650
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: know what to tell you about so many versions. Maybe

651
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,719
Speaker 2: you need to talk to X seriously because he's no

652
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 2: longer a part of my life and with other people.

653
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 2: You and X need to put boundaries since this topic

654
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 2: makes you uncomfortable. I am now in a different relationship

655
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 2: and really happy. That's why I don't understand where the

656
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 2: problem is and what does it have to do with

657
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 2: me since we're not close anymore. I am in a

658
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 2: different stage, and I wish you to the best. I

659
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 2: am disappointed as it seems that the version that he

660
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 2: told you is one where I'm obsessively looking for him

661
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 2: somehow enough for you to reach out to offer help.

662
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 2: I honestly think it's better if I go no contact

663
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 2: with X and let you guys communicate. I went to

664
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 2: sleep and I got a reply that left me and

665
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 2: my boyfriend making theories. Anne wrote, The thing is that

666
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: he hit the messages between you two. I told him

667
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 2: that he didn't need to do that if it was

668
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 2: nothing bad, but he avoided the topic. He knows I

669
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 2: wrote to you and we spoke about it. This is

670
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 2: not about blaming and knowing if there are problems. I

671
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 2: just want peace of mind and knowing that if anything happens,

672
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 2: I can defend both of you. Does she even know you?

673
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 2: If you want to cut him off, it's up to you.

674
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 2: But I know you guys are childhood friends, and he's

675
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 2: going through some milestones and it's normal that he may

676
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 2: want to share them with you. I'm so confused. What

677
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: Anne's deal is?

678
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: She drank all of the kool aid.

679
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, She's like, no, no, no, it's totally normal

680
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 2: for him to have a folder of you because you

681
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 2: guys are a childhood friends. Yes, that for all his

682
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 2: childhood friends. I just haven't seen the other folders.

683
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 3: Yes, and we all know that being childhood friends completely

684
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 3: overshadows and overwrites the fact that he's just your ex.

685
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm confused, but I feel bad for Anne. This

686
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 2: seems one thousand percent shady from ex acide, and of

687
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 2: course anyone would be wary and anxious if he cannot

688
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 2: solve this through communication. Boyfriend and I thought it was

689
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: also crappy for his circle that they keep bringing me

690
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 2: up for some reason and he doesn't put an end

691
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 2: to it, and we thought that maybe he was cheating

692
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 2: on Anne and put my name on a different contact

693
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 2: or something. I decided to tell her the thing here

694
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 2: is communication between you two. I shouldn't be part of this.

695
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 2: I'll keep sending good vibes and I hope that you

696
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 2: talk a lot about this so your relationship is long

697
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 2: and healthy. She just basically thanked me and invited me

698
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 2: and my boyfriend to meet with them once I visit

699
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:51,240
Speaker 2: my hometown. After that, I wished her a good week,

700
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 2: and that was it. I decided to write him a

701
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 2: last message, telling X that I was disappointed in him

702
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 2: since it seemed he told the version of me that

703
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 2: was obsessed with keeping in contact with him, when that

704
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 2: is absolutely not the truth, and to the point that

705
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 2: his girlfriend felt cornered to contact me and offer help.

706
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 2: I told them that we are in different stages of

707
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 2: life and I sincerely hope things between them get better,

708
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 2: and that he should tell his friends and family to

709
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 2: stop it or put boundaries regarding bringing me up as

710
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 2: a topic. It really sucks for Anne that his entire

711
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 2: family keeps mentioning Ope, she's just trying to be his girlfriend,

712
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 2: and He's like, yeah, I've got a folder of my ex.

713
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: All of my family members talk about her all the time,

714
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 2: and Anne's now trying to help Ope. I mean, they

715
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 2: can't forget about Ope.

716
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: Just let me go. I'm not your gorfo. I'm not

717
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,280
Speaker 1: your gorfee anymore.

718
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 2: I finished my message by saying that I don't understand

719
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 2: why I have a role in this relationship, and that

720
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 2: I appreciated the friendship we have and that I appreciated

721
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 2: the friendship we had, but it's time to part ways

722
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 2: and blocked. A couple of hours after my friends recommended.

723
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 2: I also blocked the girlfriend because it could still be

724
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: used as an open channel for trying to communicate, and

725
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 2: so I did something shocking. As a recovering people pleaser

726
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 2: and someone who always tries to find common ground, I

727
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 2: actually felt relieved after blocking. Maybe I should have seen

728
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 2: that we were no longer compatible as friends, and I

729
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 2: do not want to be dragged into someone else's relationship issues.

730
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 2: Here finishes my reports. Uh, do you have any final loves?

731
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 3: I'm glad you're not dating this guy, and I'm glad

732
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 3: you're cutting them all off.

733
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 2: Yes, agreed, very much agreed. I think there's no other

734
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 2: comments I have than just block everyone and never talk

735
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,880
Speaker 2: to them again. Paper Lady nineteen nine says blocking is

736
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: the best move. I don't think you were talking to

737
00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 2: his girlfriend. That's a good point. Don think about that.

738
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 2: If he's if he's that into you, he might have

739
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 2: either taken her account or just made a new account.

740
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 2: Some people had said that in the chat. Yeah on

741
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 2: top of it. Yeah nice. I think he was pretending

742
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 2: to be Anne so we could see if you wanted

743
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 2: him back. At least that's my conspiracy theory. I'm glad

744
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 2: to hear you're in a healthy relationship, keep living your

745
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 2: best life and hope. He says, yeah, boyfriend, and I

746
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 2: thought that it could also be him writing all but

747
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 2: I'm not sure since I did confirm it was her account.

748
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 2: They had photos together and she was tagged. But sus Anyway,

749
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 2: Selena Chaos says, so it wasn't that he put your

750
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 2: name on someone else. It was that he was the

751
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 2: one obsessing over you, but wanted to seem like to

752
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 2: his girlfriend at least, that you were the one chasing

753
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 2: after him and he was just being polite. You were

754
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 2: the one who got away with his eyes. You were

755
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 2: the one that got away in his eyes. Whether it

756
00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 2: comes across that way or not, His actions speak of volumes,

757
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: like the fact that he's chasing your insta constantly and

758
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 2: has his family still talking about you. I'm guessing that

759
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 2: he's continued talking about you since you've parted ways. I'm

760
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: concerned that this actually pushes into stalker territory. And I'm

761
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 2: glad you bought and I'm glad you blocked both of them. Honestly,

762
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,839
Speaker 2: this entire interaction is really concerning. It's best to keep

763
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 2: your distance and keep your socials locked so people outside

764
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: your friends can't see any of your posts if you

765
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 2: haven't already. Also, I'm sure you know this, but don't

766
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 2: add anyone you don't know. If he really is in

767
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 2: that stocker mentality, being shut out may cause him to

768
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,439
Speaker 2: make dummy accounts to try and follow you on those

769
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 2: accounts so he can regain access. Oh, he says, whoa.

770
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 2: It did not cross my mind to be wary of

771
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 2: new friend requests. But I don't add people I do

772
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 2: not know, and all my profiles are set to private.

773
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 2: So I hope that's enough. Thanks for the tip, and

774
00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,959
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story. Folk.

775
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 3: John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

776
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 3: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

777
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 3: My pregnant girlfriend's friend is ruining our relationship, so I

778
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,879
Speaker 3: gave her an ultimatum.

779
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,720
Speaker 2: Either you're not friends anymore or else.

780
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 3: My girlfriend Jen and I have been together for four years.

781
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 3: Back in April, two great things happened. We found out

782
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 3: Jen is pregnant woo, and I closed on a house

783
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 3: for us to move into. Wow Woo, great combo double win.

784
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 3: Our family and friends know about the pregnancy, including Jen's

785
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 3: best childhood friend Amanda. I'll admit I never liked the

786
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 3: dynamic between Amanda and Jen, but it did really not

787
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 3: affect our relationship since Amanda lived across the country. By

788
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from user jazz like male sixteen

789
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 3: thirty five and if you want to submit your own stories,

790
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime subred it.

791
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and I'm Riley, and Op says.

792
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 3: After finding out about the pregnancy, Amanda decided to move

793
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 3: back home. We still live in Jen and Amanda's hometown.

794
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 3: Amanda has been back since late May and everything has

795
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 3: gone haywhy uh oh. Jen has always felt a little

796
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 3: self conscious in our relationship. I work construction and do

797
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 3: personal training. She feels intimidated by small girls. But I

798
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 3: have no idea why she is a smexsy woman with

799
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 3: a messing curves.

800
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 2: Well now I'm just imagining like a little like six

801
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 2: year old girl like walking and she's.

802
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,879
Speaker 3: Like, ah, I don't know why she's afraid of all

803
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 3: of these small girls, all girls, all of these like

804
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 3: anyone under the size of three foot five, like.

805
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 2: A girl scout comes up and it's like, hey, do

806
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 2: you want to buy some cookies? She's like, anything to

807
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 2: make you leave, bla, get away from me, take my money.

808
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: The small girls were selling me cookies.

809
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 2: You know how I feel about them? And Op He's like,

810
00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 2: I know, I know they're there.

811
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 3: H Amanda has done nothing but played into gens insecurities

812
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 3: and anxiety. Since being back, Jen and I have never

813
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 3: been the tracking location couple or looking through phones couple.

814
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 3: We always considered that a red flag in a relationship.

815
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 3: Amanda has convinced Jen that she needs to start doing that,

816
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 3: so she has been looking through my phone on a

817
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 3: regular basis finding nothing.

818
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:27,399
Speaker 2: Yikes, huge red flag. I'm sorry what she's looking through

819
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 2: your phone? No?

820
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 3: No, no, If you've gotten nothing to hide, then what's

821
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:33,240
Speaker 3: the problem?

822
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 2: Bye?

823
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: Bye bye. Well, if you've got nothing to hide, why

824
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 1: can I look through your ow phone?

825
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 2: Let me folastic voice if you couldn't tell chancastic.

826
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 3: I don't agree with this sentiment, so I have communicated

827
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 3: my hurt and frustration and that I think she needs

828
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:59,280
Speaker 3: to distance herself from Amanda, But she keeps rebuffing my concerns, rebuking.

829
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 3: About to two weeks ago, Jen again asked to look

830
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 3: through my phone.

831
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: I told her in no.

832
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,839
Speaker 3: Uncertain terms, that this will be the last time she

833
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 3: looks through my phone. If she again sees nothing suspicious,

834
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 3: then she needs to agree to go to counseling and

835
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 3: distance herself from Amanda. She agreed, looked through my phone

836
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 3: found nothing suspicious, but she soon renegged on her promise

837
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 3: to do counseling and distancing herself from Amanda.

838
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: I decided to move out.

839
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 3: We are currently on a month to month lease in

840
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 3: an apartment until renovations get done on the house I bought.

841
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 3: I'm staying with a friend until the house is ready,

842
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 3: and then I will move in alone. Jen has asked

843
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 3: me to reconsider, but I refuse. She would likely need

844
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 3: to move in with her mother, which is not ideal

845
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 3: given the limited space, which I feel terrible about for

846
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 3: my child. Am I the a hole And there's an

847
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 3: eda a little bit maybe maybe a little bit more

848
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 3: about that, maybe a little I don't know. It's clearly

849
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 3: just this one thing with her friend, I think, but

850
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 3: separating over it is kinda wild.

851
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 2: But the thing is to me, I'm like, well, okay,

852
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 2: I don't think that she should jump to separation because

853
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 2: they got kid all the way. She's pregnant, however, and

854
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 2: she's looking through his phone. She's demanding to look through

855
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 2: his phone as well. That those aren't great.

856
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 1: Signs, but was bad with consent.

857
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,880
Speaker 2: She looked through his phone like she had taken his

858
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 2: phone and looked through it, which implied to me I

859
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 2: could be reading that wrong. That she had done it

860
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: without his consent too.

861
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 3: Is clearly an Amanda problem. Absolutely with your partner over this.

862
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 2: I don't think he should because she's literally pregnant. There, Amanda,

863
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: I think they can win when not whin, I think

864
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 2: they can get through this.

865
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 3: Amanda wins Amanda wind shuld go. See he broke up

866
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 3: with you because he knew you were on to him.

867
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like we can get through this if

868
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: we go to a therapist or some something. But I

869
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 2: do think it is a huge red I got. She's

870
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: looking through the phone and listening.

871
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: I think it should be counseling or we're not doing this.

872
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 2: I agree. Edit.

873
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 1: I am fully aware that Jen has raging hormones.

874
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:11,399
Speaker 3: Trust me, I was dealing with a lot more than

875
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 3: just her insistence on searching my phone constantly.

876
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 1: Two.

877
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 3: I have been doing individual counseling for six years. I

878
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 3: want to do couples counseling and Jen to do individual counseling.

879
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 3: Three I left because Jen lied to me.

880
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: Verdict.

881
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 3: I don't know people are supportive. Let's see what are

882
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 3: these what do these comments have to say? What do

883
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 3: you got to say? Riley?

884
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 2: What do you fig Glen?

885
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 4: I know that her hormones are raging.

886
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 2: I know she has raging hormones. I know she's a

887
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 2: raging witch. You don't have to tell me, Jesu Pie,

888
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 2: we get it.

889
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 1: Tell us how you really feel me and oh.

890
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 2: Man, Dustin Daley says, Plus he went through all the

891
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 2: proper steps to try and save the relationship, she still

892
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 2: didn't accept it, which, yeah, I mean like she's not

893
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 2: accepting therapy.

894
00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: It just seems very abrupt.

895
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, you went through all the steps, but it's like maybe,

896
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 3: like I don't know, I just give it a little

897
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 3: more time.

898
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 2: That's what I think. I think she's pregnant, she's got hormones.

899
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 2: She is a problem. Like she's being a problem right now,

900
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 2: she's doing problematic things. I just think that, like, let's

901
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,439
Speaker 2: see if we can exhaust all resources before we jump

902
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 2: to separation, because you have a kid on the way

903
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 2: and we know what the problem is. Yeah, why don't

904
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 2: I don't I just I just want to point out,

905
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 2: like I like, op, she isn't the wrong.

906
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 3: Why don't we flip the logic, be like, can I

907
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 3: actually look through your phone?

908
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 2: Yeah?

909
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:36,320
Speaker 3: Because I heard that a lot of people who project

910
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 3: cheating onto their partner. So since I'm not cheating and

911
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 3: you think I am so hard, I feel like you're cheating.

912
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 3: And she'd be like, what, that's crazy.

913
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, oh, well, isn't it. Isn't it crazy?

914
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 2: Funny that you see that.

915
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 3: Also, I guess I'm misinterpreting separation here. I'm thinking that

916
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,319
Speaker 3: it was just like done, We're so I think that

917
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 3: they're just like it's like a trial. I don't think

918
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,760
Speaker 3: that they're they're leaving. We've got some comments here Glinda

919
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 3: the Witch tell her that counseling is still on the table,

920
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 3: but don't live together until you get to a point

921
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 3: where she trusts you and ditches her friend a threat.

922
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 3: Here's some more info a thread where Ope gives more info. Okay,

923
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 3: the comment from redditor is you're the a whole? Is

924
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 3: this post even for real? You have a child on

925
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 3: the way, your girlfriend's hormones, anxiety, and insecurities are raging,

926
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 3: and you've given her an ultimatum then disappeared, leaving her

927
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,399
Speaker 3: alone and potentially having to move in with her mom.

928
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,399
Speaker 3: You say you've closed on a house, not a family home.

929
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 3: You've closed on a house that you may or may

930
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 3: not let her live in, depending on her behavior. I

931
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 3: just feel sorry for this child, to be honest. Another

932
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 3: downvoted comment says, can't believe this comment is so far down.

933
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 3: Op is the a hole for abandoning his pregnant girlfriend

934
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:54,800
Speaker 3: and child. Statistically, men cheat more while women are pregnant,

935
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 3: and on top of that, pregnancy hormones take over emotions,

936
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 3: rational thought, and physical changes. It's a counseling is a

937
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,399
Speaker 3: good IDEA medication might be too. Would also not hurt

938
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 3: to have a mature, supportive partner instead of a tantrum

939
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 3: throwing moves out of the house, abandoning a buffoon? Does

940
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 3: Opie not realize there will be an actual baby now

941
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,800
Speaker 3: so he has to stop acting like one? What happens

942
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 3: when single dad OPI has to deal with projectile poop

943
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 3: from an infant? Will he leave the country?

944
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,280
Speaker 2: I think that's a little bit unfair.

945
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 1: I always hate posts where it's like well, what will

946
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 1: the man do when the baby poops?

947
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 3: It's like clean the baby, figure it out.

948
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: Oh god, unfair.

949
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 2: I don't think that you can equate like him being

950
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 2: constantly accused of cheating and demanding that he share everything,

951
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 2: you know, like give all of his like his phone,

952
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 2: then stuff to his girlfriend, to him his parenting ability.

953
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 2: I don't think that's quite fair. And also he clearly

954
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 2: did try. He's at like offered therapy. I just think

955
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 2: that he I don't think that he should leave her,

956
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 2: but I so don't think that saying that she isn't

957
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 2: doing anything wrong is very fair. I understand why the

958
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 2: pregnancy hormones and stuff are coming into play, and I

959
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 2: do think that he needs to give that, you know,

960
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 2: give her some grace because of that. But I don't

961
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 2: think that you can say that she's done nothing wrong.

962
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,760
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I went through the rest of that comment

963
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 3: and there's nothing from Ope in any of that. So

964
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 3: we're just going to go to the next update, which

965
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: is written by op thirteen days later. Thirteen days later,

966
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,320
Speaker 3: Jen and I met up earlier this week to discuss

967
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 3: our relationship. After she had sent some text messages. She

968
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 3: apologized for how she behaved towards me. She particularly apologized

969
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 3: for how she behaved when I moved out of the apartment.

970
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 3: She said she will definitively stop searching my phone if

971
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 3: I moved back in. She also said she was ready

972
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 3: to get engaged. She historically had been the hold up

973
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 3: in us getting engaged or married. Oh. I asked why

974
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 3: she had started searching my phone in the first place,

975
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 3: and she said she really did not know.

976
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 1: Ah, well, we all know that.

977
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 2: It's Amanda, But I think she's just like I don't

978
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 2: know why I listened to her.

979
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 3: Maybe, Jen said she has seen me get hit on

980
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 3: before by girls in my personal training work and shut

981
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 3: the women down even before we were dating. She trusted

982
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 3: that I would do that generally, but she's feeling self

983
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 3: conscious about her body and thinks maybe I would be

984
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 3: tempted to not do that now. Apparently Amanda's ex was

985
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 3: a guy who got hit on by girls and would

986
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,240
Speaker 3: shut them down in front of her, but was secretly

987
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 3: cheating with some of them. Woo. But I said, if

988
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,240
Speaker 3: you saw me rejecting these women before we were even dating,

989
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 3: why would that change now? Why would I risk my license?

990
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 3: She said she didn't have an answer. I told her,

991
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 3: that's why she needs counseling to explore that. I asked if,

992
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 3: in the six or so weeks of searching my phone

993
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 3: at least every other day, if she saw anything from

994
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 3: me to any other women that even hinted at romantic interest.

995
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 3: She said no at first, then laughed and commented that

996
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 3: I did send a heart emoji to a group chat

997
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 3: with Jen to a picture of her mom in address

998
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 3: she just bought. But she admitted she has no suspicion

999
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 3: whatsoever that I'm trying to get with her mom.

1000
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 1: So we've got some more story. I like where we're at.

1001
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 3: Clearly, you know, there was a bit of the pregnancy

1002
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 3: going on. Those were the sounds of pregnancy hormones.

1003
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think this.

1004
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 2: Is all getting solved. It seems like she's okay with

1005
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,479
Speaker 2: the therapy. Seems like she realizes that she didn't really

1006
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 2: have a reason for doing any of this and was

1007
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 2: just listening to the little worm tongue in her ear Grima,

1008
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 2: you know, and sometimes you gotta you gotta get rid

1009
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 2: of that guy so that you could be the king.

1010
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: Of so you can return as the king Gondor.

1011
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 2: No, is that the who the worm tongue guy is that. No,

1012
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,280
Speaker 2: he's the king of No, there we're HEREM.

1013
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: Worm tongue is not the king of anyone.

1014
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 2: Is the guy who's influencing the king. I'm talking about

1015
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 2: the roan. Thank you. Yeah, a ride, dude, that's what

1016
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,959
Speaker 2: I was looking for, dakotas God.

1017
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:07,839
Speaker 3: Look he's in the Fangorn forest right now. Look at that.

1018
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,800
Speaker 1: Oh, the trees are moving, it's almost like they're alive.

1019
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 2: Anyway, you got to be the king Ron, don't let anywhere.

1020
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 3: Thus the military force.

1021
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 2: Are wrong.

1022
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 3: You can't be the king of the rowhrom That's like

1023
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 3: being the king of the military Julius Caesar. Okay, just

1024
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 3: like that was I liked. There were a lot of

1025
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 3: layers to that. Well, let's let's get to the last

1026
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:34,720
Speaker 3: layer of this story.

1027
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 2: M yummy.

1028
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:41,000
Speaker 3: So she said she's not ready for counseling and is

1029
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 3: not ready to give up on Amanda, but she's going

1030
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 3: to move in with her mom in the next few weeks.

1031
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 3: I let her know that I cannot move back in

1032
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 3: with her until at least counseling is being started.

1033
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 1: She understood.

1034
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 3: I'm going to let the landlord know that we're terminating

1035
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 3: the lease at the end of September, She's sad we're

1036
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 3: not living together, but understood where I'm coming from. She

1037
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 3: gave me a hug and a kiss, and that was

1038
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 3: the end of the conversation. Her mom later texted and

1039
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 3: told me they had a long heart to heart about

1040
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 3: Jen and I's relationship. And there are some more comments here.

1041
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 3: Even speech five seventy says Jen needs counseling. Like yesterday,

1042
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:18,399
Speaker 3: OPI needs to look into getting a lawyer because she's

1043
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 3: going to have this baby and if she doesn't have

1044
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 3: her head on straight by then things can get really messy,

1045
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,399
Speaker 3: really fast. I wish you and your baby and Jen

1046
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 3: too the best moving forward, except you basically just wished

1047
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 3: divorce upon them.

1048
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:33,760
Speaker 2: You liar, Liar, Liar, I will say I think that Ope, really,

1049
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 2: I mean, even if they are separated and they're not

1050
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 2: going to live together, I think he really needs to

1051
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 2: be there for her in terms of all of the

1052
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:43,800
Speaker 2: pregnancy stuff. I don't think that gets you out of anything.

1053
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,879
Speaker 2: Even though you're separated. You gotta be You're you're along

1054
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,000
Speaker 2: for the ride. That's your kid too, So driver to

1055
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 2: the appointments, you know, like make sure that she's comfortable,

1056
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 2: she's getting food, blah blah blah.

1057
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 3: Like you know what, you and Amanda can raise that

1058
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:57,280
Speaker 3: child together.

1059
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, since you guys will know, maybe a panda can

1060
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 2: be your day.

1061
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 1: Creditor seven.

1062
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 3: As she has no intention of changing, or even pretending to,

1063
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 3: She's still refusing counseling and won't cut off a toxic

1064
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 3: influence she admits is affecting the relationship. She's made it

1065
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 3: very clear where her priorities are. Opie needs to sit

1066
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 3: down with her maybe her mom present as well, since

1067
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:20,399
Speaker 3: she seems more rational, and discuss what custody is going

1068
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 3: to look like when the baby arrives. Make it clear

1069
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 3: she will not be keeping him from his kid or

1070
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 3: making all the decisions herself. Keep notes on everything, she says,

1071
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 3: just in case if they can't come to an amicable agreement.

1072
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 3: Now get a lawyer involved asap. Another editor says, so

1073
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 3: basically she promised nothing, but you are getting back together.

1074
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 3: Opie replies, we are not getting back together.

1075
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 2: I feel like we just read that we OPI just

1076
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 2: explain that. Did you even read that update commentary?

1077
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 3: Creditor eight, Then why are you talking about living together

1078
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 3: instead of how to split time and money for the baby?

1079
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 3: Opie says, she asked me what it would take for

1080
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 3: me to consider living together again. I gave her my conditions.

1081
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 3: She is still refusing those those conditions. We're at twenty

1082
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:03,279
Speaker 3: two weeks. We do not need to.

1083
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 1: Talk about custody and child support yet.

1084
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 3: Plus, I'm going to have my lawyer handle that when

1085
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 3: we get to that point. And that is the end

1086
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,799
Speaker 3: of that story. Yeah, you have to rush into being like, yeah,

1087
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 3: I know that the baby is like half cooked. Let's

1088
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:19,279
Speaker 3: get a divorce and child custody agreement laid out right now.

1089
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 2: They're still trying to figure out if this is gonna work. Yeah,

1090
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 2: we need a rush to not working.

1091
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, why don't we talk about going to counseling, because

1092
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,479
Speaker 3: why would you want to wait? Why do you feel

1093
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 3: the need to wait to go to counseling? What are

1094
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 3: you going to tell you the same thing, whether you

1095
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 3: wait now or you go later.

1096
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 1: It's true, or you go now, go now.

1097
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 3: Your counselor is going to be like, hey, here's how

1098
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 3: I'm breaking that down. Let me break it down the

1099
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 3: same way.

1100
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 2: But folks, that's the end of that story.

1101
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 1: Hey it's sam og Host. We're going to get back

1102
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:50,480
Speaker 1: to these delectable stories.

1103
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to

1104
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 2: help support the show. My boyfriend wants me to split

1105
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:59,800
Speaker 2: maintenance costs for a boat I don't own that doesn't

1106
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 2: no sheench. My boyfriend, twenty nine mail of six years

1107
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 2: wants me, thirty one female, to start paying half of

1108
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 2: all maintenance costs to a boat he bought at the

1109
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:13,239
Speaker 2: beginning of our relationship. We use the boat pretty consistently

1110
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 2: throughout the season, and the current agreement has always been

1111
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 2: a buy any drinks, food snacks, and he buys the

1112
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:23,399
Speaker 2: gas when we go out. Seventy five percent of the time,

1113
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,959
Speaker 2: our friends are also coming out with us and giving

1114
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 2: him either money or adult soda to contribute to gas.

1115
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 2: For context, it's a nineteen foot boat, so the cost

1116
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 2: to fill up the tank each time is relatively low.

1117
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,319
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Glittering Toe ninety six

1118
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: to seventy four on the r slash Comfort Level pod

1119
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

1120
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1121
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and.

1122
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 2: Op says he's paid off the boat, so normal maintenance

1123
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,759
Speaker 2: cost is minimal year to year. This year, though, he's

1124
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 2: having to fix a couple of things, which has ended

1125
00:55:56,840 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 2: in him spending about eight hundred dollars in total for repairs.

1126
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 2: He originally told me three hundred dollars for the total cost,

1127
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 2: so i'd contribute, So I'd agree to contribute one hundred

1128
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 2: and fifty. He did not realize the full cost of

1129
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 2: the special tools he'd had to buy in addition to

1130
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:15,880
Speaker 2: the kit though, as well as the tire on the

1131
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:19,680
Speaker 2: boat trailer Blue, so that eight hundred dollars cost includes

1132
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:22,720
Speaker 2: two new tires as well. He also mentioned one wheel

1133
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 2: needs a new bearing, which makes me think he expects

1134
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 2: me to help with that too. I would be pulling

1135
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,600
Speaker 2: money out of my savings, which are already tight, to

1136
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 2: cover the new four hundred dollars cost of repairs. I

1137
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:36,840
Speaker 2: also don't know that I fully agree with being on

1138
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 2: the hook repairs to a boat I didn't buy and

1139
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 2: have nothing to gain from when he eventually sells it, agreed, pausing.

1140
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 2: My mom always says that, uh, when people buy a boat,

1141
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 2: the best day of their life is when they sell

1142
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 2: that boat. Yeah.

1143
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,279
Speaker 3: Boat's like a hole that you just throw money into.

1144
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's that's on him he bought the boat,

1145
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 2: and yes, you guys are like enjoying the perks of

1146
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:03,320
Speaker 2: the oat, but that's what happens when you're the owner

1147
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 2: of the boat. You gotta deal with all of the

1148
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:07,360
Speaker 2: costs of the boat. And it's great that you're helping

1149
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,800
Speaker 2: with gas, which you should be, and snacks and the

1150
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 2: food and stuff. And Opie even agreed to help with

1151
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty dollars.

1152
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 3: That's just the reality of being a boat That would

1153
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 3: be okay, crazy a boat owner.

1154
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: Yep, got it, honest, it's.

1155
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 3: O w n er.

1156
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 2: Certainly, Sunshine is an excellent point. It would be like

1157
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 2: if I was, you know, I'm driving around a bunch

1158
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 2: of people and then I'm like, yeah, hey, can you

1159
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 2: help me with like car maintenance? That would be crazy, yeah, crazy.

1160
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just got to replace my transmission. So could

1161
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:40,680
Speaker 4: you have like, you know, two grand with me real quick?

1162
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 1: We could split that.

1163
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 3: We could split that right down the middle, right, babe, right, babe.

1164
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you cant my car, bab right, right, right right.

1165
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:52,080
Speaker 2: If you can't afford to pay for your boat maintenance,

1166
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 2: then you can't afford boat. That's it.

1167
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 3: Awkward. Turtle has an acronym for boat break out another

1168
00:57:58,720 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 3: thousand up.

1169
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 2: In terms of our financial situation, we both make around

1170
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 2: the same amount, with him making slightly more than I do,

1171
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 2: and split our shared living expenses fifty to fifty. Our

1172
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:14,600
Speaker 2: expenses are about the same too, although his only match

1173
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 2: mine because of his toys, boat, snowmobile, truck, et cetera.

1174
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,800
Speaker 2: He's got too many toys. He's got to tell some

1175
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 2: of those toys, whereas mine used to be higher than

1176
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 2: is because of my student loans. I'm inclined to give

1177
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 2: him one hundred and fifty to appease him this time around,

1178
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 2: but not contribute to future repairs, and as a compromise,

1179
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 2: start covering the full cost of gas in future seasons.

1180
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 2: I do absolutely love our time in the boat, but

1181
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 2: honestly don't even know if I should really be paying

1182
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:44,440
Speaker 2: all of the gas either. You shouldn't be paying for

1183
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 2: all of it, but you should be contributing with the gas.

1184
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: A little bit here and there couldn't hurt you.

1185
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 4: Know.

1186
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 2: This feels like something that was his choice, but he

1187
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:58,720
Speaker 2: now wants me to contribute half because of unexpected costly repairs.

1188
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 2: AM the ale and edit. Thank you all for your input.

1189
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 2: This is definitely the clarity I needed to make sure

1190
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 2: I was approaching this in a reasonable way. I plan

1191
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 2: to talk to them about this tonight and we'll circle

1192
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:11,919
Speaker 2: back with an update tomorrow. Well what do you think,

1193
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 2: oh Dakota.

1194
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 3: I think it's not your boat.

1195
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: It's not your boat, and.

1196
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 2: Don't pay for maintenance on a boat that's not yours.

1197
00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 3: If buddy boy can't afford to boat, you gotta sell

1198
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,480
Speaker 3: a boat. Shouldn't have bought the boat. Maybe you should

1199
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 3: have been good enough at boat maintenance that you don't

1200
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 3: have to pay somebody for it.

1201
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,440
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe that was the trick all along. Learn how

1202
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 2: to do your own boat maintenance.

1203
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 1: That is the trick.

1204
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:36,400
Speaker 3: You can buy expensive toys if you know how to

1205
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 3: fix them, because what makes them so expensive is having

1206
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 3: to pay people to fix them when they break.

1207
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:41,880
Speaker 2: Yep.

1208
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: So I don't know can do that.

1209
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 2: It'd be nice to know how to fix my car.

1210
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 1: Well, you have a Toyota.

1211
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

1212
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:53,120
Speaker 3: It's like the most reliable brand in the history of

1213
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:53,680
Speaker 3: a good car.

1214
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 2: It's a good car. And the car before that was

1215
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: a Honda. It was great, loved.

1216
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 1: It, two of them back to back.

1217
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 2: Woo, we have that car from two thousand and six,

1218
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 2: A crazy reliable.

1219
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 3: Car buy Japanese.

1220
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 2: Okay, well, now this is a sponsorship. No sponsors. I'm sorry,

1221
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 2: no sponsors. You right to get Jawn back in here

1222
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:16,640
Speaker 2: if you do give me the common one info. Do

1223
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 2: you ever use the boat without him? You say it's

1224
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 2: his boat, but between the lines, he might think that

1225
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 2: you share ownership, even not on paper. I would clear

1226
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 2: this up with him before paying anything. As someone who

1227
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 2: doesn't really subscribe to the ideal of legal marriage, a

1228
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 2: six year relationship would imply more shared expenses for me

1229
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 2: than you or other commoners are describing. I bought my

1230
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 2: ex new tires for his car after we had been

1231
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 2: together for eight years but not married. I don't regret

1232
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 2: helping anyone, but again, this is stuff you need to

1233
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 2: communicate with him about. Not really the Internet, not the

1234
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 2: ale in your world, but in his, impossibly mine. I

1235
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 2: would kind of think you're the ale, but I also

1236
01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 2: understand not wanting to drain your savings on a non

1237
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 2: essential hope. He says. This is where I was waffling,

1238
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:03,440
Speaker 2: because while I don't use the boat without him, he

1239
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 2: never uses the boat without me. If he does, it's

1240
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 2: because I'm working, but it's very rare. It's something we

1241
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 2: do together and has kind of become part of our

1242
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:14,919
Speaker 2: identity as the boat couple. We both love the water,

1243
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:17,960
Speaker 2: and as very outdoorsy people, this has become something that

1244
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,600
Speaker 2: we've bonded strongly over. We're also people who don't subscribe

1245
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:24,320
Speaker 2: to the idea of legal marriage and have had many

1246
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 2: convos over how to marry without the heavy government involvement,

1247
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 2: domestic partnerships, etc. I didn't realize they were nicting. It's

1248
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:35,400
Speaker 2: an area we're still trying to figure out, but is

1249
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:37,800
Speaker 2: on pause because we're in the middle of saving money

1250
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:41,640
Speaker 2: for a house separate savings that won't affect my personal savings.

1251
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:44,280
Speaker 2: So it's a bit of a hard dance between We're

1252
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 2: in a committed relationship with a promise to marry however

1253
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 2: that looks for us, but the boat isn't mine and

1254
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 2: wasn't my decision, So trying to make the best choice

1255
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:56,000
Speaker 2: that protects me and my finances but also makes him

1256
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 2: feel like I'm contributing in a way that feels equal

1257
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:01,080
Speaker 2: to the joy I get out of his boat. Comment

1258
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 2: to not the ahle, you don't owe him any money

1259
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:06,680
Speaker 2: for repairs and at most, you should only contribute fifty

1260
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:09,680
Speaker 2: percent of gas, if he contributes fifty percent of food

1261
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 2: and drinks. You don't own the boat. It's not your

1262
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 2: responsibility for any financial cost involved in maintaining or repairing it.

1263
01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 2: Like you said, you won't get any monetary comeback if

1264
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:23,480
Speaker 2: he sells it because it's legally only is It's like

1265
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,320
Speaker 2: with cars. You don't go paying to repair a partner's

1266
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 2: car just because you're sometimes a passenger in their car.

1267
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 2: He decided to buy the boat, he owns the boat.

1268
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 2: You can either go halves on gas and food equally,

1269
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 2: but that's all you'd be morally expected to pay, just

1270
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 2: like his friends only contribute towards a fuel or food

1271
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 2: because they don't own the boat either. There's no difference

1272
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,040
Speaker 2: between you and his friends using his boat to go

1273
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 2: out together, but he's not asking them to contribute to repairs,

1274
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 2: so why would you be expected to. Don't let him

1275
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 2: take advantage of you if you want to give thee

1276
01:02:57,320 --> 01:02:59,919
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty pounds you mentioned. You can if you want,

1277
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 2: but make it clear you won't be paying any further

1278
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 2: contributions towards repairs in the future. You don't owe him

1279
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:09,720
Speaker 2: anything towards repairs. If he can't afford the repairs, he

1280
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 2: needs sell the boat. And there is an update. But yeah,

1281
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 2: any other thoughts.

1282
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 3: Catch twenty two when the boat needs repairs, you can't

1283
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 3: really sell it.

1284
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 2: That's true, that's true. There's an update, folks. There's a

1285
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:23,440
Speaker 2: lot more to the story.

1286
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 4: The boat incident. There's got to be a fun name

1287
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 4: for this story, like remember the boat.

1288
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 2: The boat, boat, the boys in the boat, the boat.

1289
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 2: But I think that I I think that it is

1290
01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 2: I mean, it's relevant information that you guys are together

1291
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 2: and have been together for a while. But I do

1292
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 2: think that the car analogy is a really good point.

1293
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 2: It's like, you wouldn't expect your partner who you're not

1294
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,520
Speaker 2: married to, especially to pay for your boat.

1295
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:51,640
Speaker 3: That really is like the big thing here is you

1296
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:57,960
Speaker 3: aren't married. Yeah, push him to buy the boat. There

1297
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,800
Speaker 3: was no agreement beforehand that you be paying for this.

1298
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 3: It's kind of just lame of him to expect you

1299
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 3: to pay for it. Yeah, instead of being like, hey,

1300
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 3: could you maybe help me pay for half of these

1301
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 3: and I'll pay you back, He's exactly, Well, it would

1302
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 3: just make sense if you did this, because it's only fair.

1303
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 2: He's like what And also there was this expectation was

1304
01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:20,040
Speaker 2: not set before. It was just kind of like after

1305
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 2: the fact. But there is an update, folks. Oh No,

1306
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 2: A few of you mentioned that he might be seeing

1307
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 2: the boat as something that's ours, not just his, and

1308
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:32,560
Speaker 2: it turns out you were right. He stated that as

1309
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,600
Speaker 2: a couple who've been together for almost seven years, he

1310
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 2: didn't view the boat as his but ours. Even though

1311
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 2: I'm not on the title and didn't buy the boat,

1312
01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 2: he'd only plan on selling it to use as a

1313
01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:46,840
Speaker 2: down payment for when we buy a boat together, which

1314
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 2: we have talked about previously as a down the road

1315
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 2: goal goal when we are both financially ready, or if

1316
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:54,800
Speaker 2: we needed to sell it to put the money towards

1317
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,280
Speaker 2: buying the house. Since we're in a rent to own situation,

1318
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:00,919
Speaker 2: obviously we're not planning on buying a bigger boat anytime soon.

1319
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 2: But where he was coming from makes more sense to

1320
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:06,320
Speaker 2: me knowing he was viewing the boat as a shared asset,

1321
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 2: not something he's going to sell for his personal gain.

1322
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 2: I of course, still did not like the way he

1323
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 2: had originally approached the conversation, as though he expected me

1324
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:18,800
Speaker 2: to help contribute, even though we'd never discussed me helping

1325
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:22,040
Speaker 2: with repairs before. He understood the disconnect and was able

1326
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 2: to see why I felt caught off guard, and we

1327
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:28,000
Speaker 2: agreed that moving forward, he will discuss any big purchases

1328
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 2: with me before doing anything to make sure we're both

1329
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 2: on the same page. We've encountered situations like this in

1330
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 2: the past, but the lines have always been clearer, as

1331
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 2: there are obvious areas where we'd both be contributing financially,

1332
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:43,080
Speaker 2: like buying things for the house we both live in

1333
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 2: or our pets. So, with all of that being said,

1334
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:49,360
Speaker 2: I have agreed to pay half of all routine maintenance

1335
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 2: costs that the boat that the boat requires annually, but

1336
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 2: will not be paying for any kind of boat repairs.

1337
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:59,680
Speaker 2: So I'm helping with gas, chart oil changes, slip fees

1338
01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 2: if you decide to do that, et cetera. We've written

1339
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 2: these out so I know exactly what I'm committing to financially,

1340
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:07,760
Speaker 2: and also outline that he won't be selling the boat

1341
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 2: down the road simply for personal financial gain, but only

1342
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:14,360
Speaker 2: to put towards our shared interests.

1343
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:17,080
Speaker 3: I think if you sell the boat, half of the

1344
01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:18,960
Speaker 3: profit of the boat sail is yours.

1345
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, and I'm glad that they're like figuring

1346
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,760
Speaker 2: all of this out, and now you know, they're writing

1347
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:26,560
Speaker 2: it down, getting it all hammered.

1348
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:27,680
Speaker 1: Out all the way. I don't think they're doing that.

1349
01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 3: I think it sounds that it's no. I mean, they

1350
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 3: are writing it down, but I don't think that op

1351
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 3: he's getting half of the boat.

1352
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:37,440
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. But I do think it's

1353
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 2: good that they're putting it all down. I'm fully aware

1354
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,920
Speaker 2: that there's nothing stopping him from selling it whenever he wants.

1355
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 2: But I've been sure that the money I'm committing to

1356
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:49,040
Speaker 2: each boat season is equal to what I get out

1357
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:52,480
Speaker 2: of going out all the time. So in the worst

1358
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 2: case scenario where he broke this agreement, I wouldn't feel

1359
01:06:55,240 --> 01:06:58,720
Speaker 2: cheated out of anything financially, although I'd obviously be upset

1360
01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 2: for a whole separate set of reasons. I've also paid

1361
01:07:01,360 --> 01:07:03,600
Speaker 2: him one hundred and fifty dollars I originally agreed to

1362
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 2: as well, because even though he said the money really

1363
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:10,000
Speaker 2: doesn't matter to him, he has no problem covering the

1364
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:12,760
Speaker 2: full cost. It was more of an assumption on his

1365
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:16,840
Speaker 2: end that I'd be pitching in which stop that no

1366
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:22,000
Speaker 2: assuming financial things. Let's talk it out. Be clear. I'm

1367
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:25,280
Speaker 2: not someone to go back on my word. Any final thoughts.

1368
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:28,439
Speaker 1: You got a nice boat, You got a nice boat. Hey,

1369
01:07:28,560 --> 01:07:29,080
Speaker 1: nice boat.

1370
01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 2: Got a nice boat.

1371
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:32,440
Speaker 3: Nice boat, And you can sure you always tell him

1372
01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:35,120
Speaker 3: how nice the boat is because he liked that boat.

1373
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 3: Because it's you all, y'all's boat now.

1374
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:39,320
Speaker 2: M h yeah, share boat assets.

1375
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:42,840
Speaker 3: Say we've got such a nice boat. We love this boat.

1376
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, our boat.

1377
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:48,080
Speaker 3: So good to see what he breaks. I love being

1378
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:49,320
Speaker 3: a boater.

1379
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 2: But there's a little bit left to this story. All

1380
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 2: in all, it was a really good learning experience for

1381
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:58,280
Speaker 2: both of us, especially because finances are a big pain

1382
01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:01,560
Speaker 2: point for me. My ability you feel secure and safe

1383
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 2: is directly linked to finances and always being able to

1384
01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:08,320
Speaker 2: take care of myself independently. So him dropping this on

1385
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:11,480
Speaker 2: me the way that he did definitely caused a spiral

1386
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:13,800
Speaker 2: with me thinking it was my worst nightmare coming drew

1387
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 2: him thinking I'm a user, that I owe him, et cetera.

1388
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,479
Speaker 2: So it was relieving to hear him explain this wasn't

1389
01:08:20,840 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 2: a big deal to him, how he viewed the boat

1390
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,800
Speaker 2: as a shared asset, and that if this was going

1391
01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:28,400
Speaker 2: to be a burden to me not to worry about it. Overall,

1392
01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:30,880
Speaker 2: feeling a lot better and no longer afraid that I'm

1393
01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:34,720
Speaker 2: a freeloading cockroach. And that's the end of that story, folks,

1394
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:37,560
Speaker 2: A free munication cockroach communication.

1395
01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:41,720
Speaker 3: I'm not liking that automatic assumption that you're a freeloading

1396
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:42,920
Speaker 3: cockroach though.

1397
01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to work on that's that's communication. Say like,

1398
01:08:46,120 --> 01:08:47,719
Speaker 2: why did why was that your first thought?

1399
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, a lot of guys are free loading cockroaches

1400
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:52,960
Speaker 4: without the roach part.

1401
01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:57,480
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, sure.

1402
01:08:57,680 --> 01:09:01,280
Speaker 3: Just gearing people up for that stream next week.

1403
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's this week. Yeah, well anyway,