WEBVTT - Forgiveness 101 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:16.760 Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:17.560 I'm Mila. 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:21.239 Hi, it's Wednesday, motherfuckers. Oh, I thought you were gonna 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:23.880 like do some like really smooth transition. That heard David earlier? 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:25.439 What was it? I forgot what it was. It wasn't 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:29.000 it's ones say, motherfucker Phil. It was more like welcome 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:31.880 to Wednesday. No, no, no, it was not almost spicy 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.720 than that. What was it, David? I remember? That's why 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:36.040 I Nope. 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:38.280 Everybody on our team must write everything down at the 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:41.800 very second. Nobody remembers shit. Everybody over here is smoking pot. 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:44.000 Nobody remembers anything. 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.760 Literally, we don't write shit down within ten seconds. 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:49.559 It's gone for not smoking pot. It's not like my 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:52.240 grandpa smoking pot over here. If you want to be 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:54.279 on the Good Mom's team, you gotta smoke that pot. 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:57.800 I smoke that pot. Good stuff. Are you four twenty friendly? 0:00:57.920 --> 0:00:59.960 No, I'm sorry. Unfortunately, we're not gonna be able to. 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.640 Then we might need at least one person on the 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:03.960 team that doesn't smoke that pot. 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.480 I know, fuck does so let's smoke that pot. No, okay, 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:12.600 well there, I know we got a hangover. Perfect Well, 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:14.960 welcome to the first week of December. You guys, we've 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:17.120 made it. Can you believe it's the fucking end of 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:22.039 the year? He low, It has flown. 0:01:21.720 --> 0:01:24.960 By, It literally has, like I blanked in, bitch, is 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:25.760 December again? 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:29.480 It's crazy. I'm I mean, I'm actually happy. I think 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:34.720 I'm ready for twenty twenty two. This year has been challenging. 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:37.240 It's been filled with ups and downs, lots of ups, 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:40.400 lots of good ups, lots of down downs. 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:43.440 But you know, such as life. This is true, such 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.279 just life. But I am really excited. 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:50.680 About twenty twenty two two because twenty twenty two has 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:53.120 like a significance. The numbers mean like hand I posted 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:53.920 about this, let me go. 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:54.840 Look check my notes. 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.120 Twenty two is a master number in numerology. 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.880 It's considered to be the most powerful number out of 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.200 the rest, and thus also just sign out. 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:05.440 My birthday is the twenty second anyway. 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:07.720 And this master number twenty two is also called master 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:11.120 builder or the master architect. It holds so much power 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.600 that it can turn big dreams into reality if worked 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:17.440 upon in a very sincere way. It's no coincidence or okay, 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.760 sorry that was my that was my caption. I was 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:21.600 throw a good vibe tree. If you're not following it, 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:24.480 I'm dropping gems over there. Okay, at the good vibe 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:25.320 for tree you. 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:25.880 Have taken over. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:30.080 I'm so happy that whole account Mela, Mela's art Meala's artwork. 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.519 I posted something, she fucking deleted it. I post. 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:34.200 She was like, that is the eliest picture ever. Stopped 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:35.320 running my fucking account. 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:38.880 I was like, picture of fruit we had like. I 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:40.400 was like, we have better pictures of fruit? 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:41.200 Why the fuck? 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:42.560 And then I posted the one the next day she 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:45.080 was like, this is your better picture. I'm like, yeah, 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:47.320 actually it's much more art day. I put a grain 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:51.120 on it. This is the type of shit we talk 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:52.120 about anyway. 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:56.560 Twenty twenty two is the mother fucking year. 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:58.399 I feel it. I'm good. 0:02:58.440 --> 0:02:58.720 I do. 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:01.519 I feel like we'ren and May. 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.560 Fucking May text us yesterday, which even adds to the alignment. 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:08.560 It just so happens, you guys that our two hundredth 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:13.720 episode will air on February twenty second, twenty twenty two. 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:15.639 Crazy, How on the fuck? 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:19.919 Because we're witches, bitches, that's why witches, which is which 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:23.240 is with episode two hundred on two twenty to two. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:27.600 I will be in Costa Rica coicking up some more 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:30.119 shit with some other witchy friends. And if you're not there, 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:33.359 you're missing out for real, for real, real. Somebody messaged me, 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:35.480 They're like, my coins are fucked up, but if I 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.480 going on the trip, then like I'm really gonna be broken. 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:38.920 I get back. 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:41.320 I said, you come on the trip to manifest more. 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.080 Money, right And also if you didn't know, you can 0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:47.120 have people put money on your trip. So through we Travel, 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.880 which is our booking site, you can put down the deposit. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:52.800 And then for Christmas, ask all your hoes, all your parents, 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:54.840 all your baby daddies that feel bad because they're trash 0:03:55.160 --> 0:04:00.040 to put money on your books. That's your books. But 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:03.320 you know, put the money on the books. It's definitely 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:03.760 not ja. 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:05.720 I mean every little count. If you can get six 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.560 hundred dollars, that's the biggest discount. That's true. 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:11.120 If you have ten friends and they each give you 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:12.640 like one hundred dollars. 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:15.560 Your trip is paid for almost that's not half paid 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:17.400 for it. But if you have twenty friends, you're in there. 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:21.680 We thought of you, We thought the contribution from your 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:23.680 hose when we picked this particular side. 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:24.960 Thank you. 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:27.320 We Travel Yeah, go to the link in our bio 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:28.920 and book that trip and send it to all your 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:34.719 hoes immediately asap. Promto yep, but on a more serious note, 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:40.040 lighter serious, slash medium note. The theme for December is 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:41.680 Deeper December. 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:45.839 Deeper December. We're getting deeper because we like it deep. 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:47.640 We're deep bitches. 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:53.480 We can take it deep, deeply emotional, deeply deep, deeply 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.719 wild and crazy, deeply sexy and just deep. 0:04:57.560 --> 0:05:01.119 And we like dig deep. I'd like to dig deep, 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:02.359 and we like dig deep. 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:06.920 The kind of girl like you will, you know, like 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:10.680 a deep girl deep dick dee deep thoughts. 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:16.080 Well, that's welcome to December. 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.200 We really thought, we really thought all that through that 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:23.280 we made the deep of desomber like perfect. 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:24.440 There's two meanings. 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:27.200 Yeah, so this month, all month, we're gonna be digging 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:30.560 deep in all different types of ways, penetrating that soul. 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:33.800 Can you shut the fuck up. 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:35.440 Like that? 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:36.440 You want to. 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:37.280 Penetrate that soul? 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:40.680 I kill back the layers, penetrate that soul. That might 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.760 be my new tagline. 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.599 Well, I think really too, Like we're entering into twenty 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:46.599 twenty two, Like you said, let's like get deep and 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:49.440 let that shit go, Let's let it go. Let's go 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:53.240 into twenty twenty two feeling rejuvenated, refreshed. 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.920 Ready, you know, yeah, if you haven't, if you just 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.120 are joining us on this journey, one thing you'll know 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:01.560 and you'll learn really soon is all we talk about 0:06:01.680 --> 0:06:05.360 is healing and growing and letting shit go, because we've 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:07.719 come to the conclusion that that's the purpose of life. 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:08.160 Yep. 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.360 And you have to constantly remind yourself because if you've 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:12.800 also joining us on this journey, we've had a really 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:13.440 hard time. 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:14.240 Doing all those things. 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:18.840 It's taken us well, we're still doing it, so same shit. 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:22.040 That's yeah, it's you know, the thing about digging deep, 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:23.080 it's a slow process. 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:24.480 It's a journey, and. 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:28.760 It's never fucking over, which seems really overwhelming, But you're 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:31.040 going to get a little bit further each time. And 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:33.279 I don't know, I feel like, even if you're not 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:35.839 in your thirties or in your mid thirties or middle 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:42.760 to the beginning, I want to be the mid thirties. 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:44.520 I want to be in the mid beginning. So if 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:47.120 whatever you're at listening to this, whenever age you're at, 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:50.160 just know that as you get older, I think the 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:52.760 things that you avoid come up more and more and 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.880 more and more, and so if you continue to avoid them, 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:57.800 it's easier to avoid them as you get older because 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.680 you've mastered it. But it's also much more more important 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:02.240 to get over it so that you don't pollute the 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:03.719 rest of your life with your bullshit. 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:05.080 Absolutely, you know. 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:07.840 I'm trying to look up this quote that my girl Melanie, 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:10.280 So Melanie Fiona. If you don't follow her, you should, 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:12.600 because she was actually a guest on our show. I 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:15.320 think it was like two years ago. Wow, it's crazy. 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:17.960 She's just fucking amazing and she's always dropping gems. And 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.480 I was looking at her Instagram the other day and 0:07:20.560 --> 0:07:22.800 she put this quote up and it said, remember the 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:25.520 longer you carry something, the heavier it gets. 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:27.840 I saw that too, and I was like, stop fucking 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:29.280 talking to me like that bitch. 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:33.560 Over there pregnant, just talking shit to me, just fucking 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:36.200 mother naturing and shit. I know, No, she's so bright, 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.280 and I was like, damn, it's so true. It does 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.000 get heavier and heavier, even though we think it doesn't 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.160 matter anymore, it's not affecting us. It rears its ugly 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:46.960 head and even heavier way than even you expected. 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:50.720 So let it go, slowly, start letting the shit. 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:56.040 We welcome you and encourage you this month to just 0:07:56.280 --> 0:08:01.320 take a moment to go inward and reflect six self, dissect, 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:05.480 be gentle with yourself. Obviously we always encourage gentle healing, 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:09.040 but just be honest about the people you've tracted, the 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:12.400 relationships you've kept, and what you've maybe done to contribute 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:14.600 to them. And even like the destruction of yourself, what 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:16.000 have you done to contribute to that? 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:20.080 So yes, welcome, Welcome to the time. We are going 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:25.160 to the first level of ourselves, Level one. Would you 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:27.200 like to pull the card my love? 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:30.760 Of course I would, Erica pre shuffled, because we all 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:32.600 know I'm not good at that, but I am good 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:33.560 at reading bitty Tara. 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:38.319 Today's card is the Sun. I love this deggy thoughts, 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.160 you know, hazards things. 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:47.160 The sun, positivity, fun, warmth, success, vitility. The sun tarot 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:51.400 card radiates with optimism and positivity. A large, bright sunshines 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:55.079 in the sky, representing the source of all life on Earth. Underneath, 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:58.120 four sunflowers grow tall above a brick wall, representing the 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:01.840 four suits of the minor Arcana and the four elements. 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:05.440 This tun represents success, radiance, and abundance. The sun gives 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:07.480 you strength and tells you no matter where you go 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:10.240 or what you do, your positive and radiant energy will 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:13.560 follow you and bring you happiness and joy. People are 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:15.800 drawn to you because you can always see the bright 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:17.600 side and bring such warmth. 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:18.840 Into other people's lives. 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.839 This beautiful warm energy is what will get you through 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:24.600 tough times and help you succeed. You're also in a 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.959 position where you can share your highest qualities and achievements 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:31.280 with others, radiate who you are and what you stand for. 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.079 Shine your love on those you care about. If you're 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:35.880 going through a difficult time, the sun brings you the 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.880 message you have been waiting for that things will get better. 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:41.480 Along your path, you discovered who you are and why 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:44.720 you're here. Because you did that work deep dissever Now 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:47.520 you are full of energy and zeal for the future 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:51.480 and can already perceive success and abundance flowing to you. 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:54.199 You are brooming with confidence because you know everything will 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:54.600 work out. 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:56.320 It always does. Life is good. 0:09:56.960 --> 0:09:59.240 The sun connects you to your power base, not fear 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:02.600 driven equal time physical power, but the abundant inner energy 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:05.960 radiating through you. Right now, you sense in your solar 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:09.840 plexus chakra calling you to express yourself authentically and be 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.320 fully present in the world around you. You have what 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:14.559 others want and are being asked to radiate your energy 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:16.720 and your gifts out into the world in a big way. 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:20.600 Tap into your power and use your divine will to 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.800 express that power in positive ways. 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:25.599 Hmmm, I like that, beautiful. 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:27.240 I usually don't even read the whole thing, but that 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:30.040 felt very on point, so I had to kind of 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:30.760 read most. 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.600 Of that because I think that speaks to it as 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:34.840 a darling very much. 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:38.400 So we encourage to express your power in positive ways, 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:41.040 be authentic and fully present in the world. 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:49.160 Yes, amen, do you have an affirmation? 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:54.679 I stand in my power and I take up space unapologetically. 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:59.920 I stand in my power and I take up space unapologetic. 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:09.440 Shall do? We shall do? Yep? How are you? I'm good? Yeah? Yeah, 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:14.559 I'm good. I am beautiful. Thanks Monytail's popping. Thanks. We 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:18.680 went viral last month, so I figured i'd bring the heat. Honestly, 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:20.640 I think that works so much. I know, I hate it. 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:22.800 I love saying it, but I hate it so much. 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:24.200 I love saying it. 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:26.880 I'm like, so yeah, I just went viral last week. 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:29.480 I've only been waiting four years to say it, so 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.240 it just feels like I don't care who it's late 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:35.719 I'm saying it. Oh my god, I only could call 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:38.040 my like podcast friends and say that or I was 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:40.880 myself fucking ridiculous. I couldn't wait to call Orlando, like, yes, 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:44.320 I'm pretty sure we went viral. This podcast asked was like, 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.559 how many how many news. 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:50.960 I'm like, well, in the twenty four hour period, let 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:52.000 me let me check the number. 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:54.840 You only go viral twenty four hours divided by one 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:56.000 hundred and thirty five views. 0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:01.559 Yep, viral verified viral. We're good? Do you look beautiful too? 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:05.080 How are you? I'm good. I feel energized. 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:08.520 I was sick last week, which was not great, but 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.040 I think I needed to just kind of just sit 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:12.400 my ass down and be at home. 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:13.600 So that was good. 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:18.040 I'm feeling healthy. I'm feeling rejuvenated. That's the word of 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.520 the day for me and Irine. I taught her the 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.960 word rejuvenate because we were this brand hit me up 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:27.480 and she was like reading the email and like refused 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.599 to let me close the email and was reading. 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:33.679 It and just like and I was like rejuvenate. 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:35.400 And then we went in the bathroom and her hair 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:37.040 because she's been in her dad's but the last four 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:39.440 days and I've been stressing out trying to get someone 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:40.800 over there to braid it because I was like, oh 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:43.240 my god, when she comes back, it's gonna be fucking crazy. 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:44.800 Was it crazy? Yes? 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:48.000 It was literally a hard afro in the bathroom, like 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:54.360 solid brillo awkward. I couldn't even put like a finger 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:57.560 in it, like it was hard and flat. And so 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:00.680 we got in a shower and we put water on 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:01.840 it and it came back to life. 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:03.760 It was like a chia pet. Like now I understand 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:05.920 why people call me a chiipet all my life. I 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:09.160 love water on a curly hair. It's like a chia pet. 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:10.640 I'm like, shok the fuck up. And then I put 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:12.280 that water on my daughter's head and I was like, God, 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.240 damn right, she's a tea pet. And it did come 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.400 back to life, and I was like, baby, this is rejuvenation, 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.440 mom that I redd your hair. Say it with me, 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:25.880 say it again, rejuvenation. So we rejuvenated her hair. A 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.360 rejuvenated mine curls as popin some day. 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:33.000 Yes, yeah, a baby like a lion A. No, Sylvia 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:34.600 did say I had a lot of LEO in my chart. 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:35.920 Oh she did. She did. 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:39.160 So this is me lyon assing. But yeah, I've been good. 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:40.720 I've been good. I've been. 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:47.400 Just focused on not beating myself up a lot as 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.440 much as usual, because I have a lot of negative 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.880 in her self talk that I'm working through that I 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:53.800 didn't realize I do. 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:57.440 I mean, I know, but like it's so it's been 0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.880 happening for so long that it's almost like a whisper 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.640 that I barely hear it, but it's like it's all 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:03.200 day long. 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:11.760 Like you're they're talking about you behind me. Oh my god, 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:15.000 that podcast has so anywhere listens in yours. Why you're rich? 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.400 They're rich? Why why just live with the penhouse? Why 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:17.679 do you live? 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.480 And I'm like and then suddenly I'm having a panic attack, 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.000 and I'm like, where does this panic attack come from? 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:24.640 No idea, I just came out of the blue and 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:28.640 everything's fine. So yeah, I've been like really trying to 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:31.400 actually elevate that voice more so that I can hear 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:34.720 it more often and then shut that bitch down. So 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:37.560 and having I've been talking to myself out loud a lot, 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:40.400 which is good. I mean, obviously, if you see me 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:42.240 on the street, I look a little psycho. I was. 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:45.240 I've been doing it on the street. Yeah, yeah, I've 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:47.920 been doing it on the street, on the street. Yeah, 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:51.400 I'm in dark street corners talking about myself anyway. 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:55.080 Okay, so if you see Eric Fail on the street 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.480 talking to her, so don't be alarmed. Yeah, I. 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:03.000 So I had this reading. Me and Mila have obviously, 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:04.640 you guys know, we've had a lot of readings. We've 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:06.640 shared them on the podcast. But over the last few 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:08.400 months it's been kind of like there's been a lot 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:11.080 of I think people coming to us to do that. 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:17.280 But I think obviously everything for us is very much intentional, 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:18.840 even if you don't realize it at the time. 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.280 And my good friend. 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:25.960 Connected me to this intuitive channeler and she gave me 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:30.320 a reading, and it was so crazy because I'm a skeptic. 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:32.320 I don't know if any when anyone else listens, Like, 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.360 I'm definitely a spiritual person and like I believe in 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:39.320 like higher powers. I believe in spirits for sure, but 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:42.520 sometimes I'd be like, Nitch, did I really excite I shared? 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.200 Do you this just says some shit to me, and 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:49.640 I was like, like specific things that only really I 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:53.280 would know, Like, for example, she told me that I 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.400 have a lot of healing to do around forgiving my 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:58.720 father and for me. I know that, but I feel 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:00.440 like I've done a lot of healing art least I 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:00.920 thought I did. 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:01.840 And I was like, I don't. 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:04.080 I don't feel away if everything's fine. She was like, 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:05.440 what happened on your sixteenth birthday? 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.120 And I was like, what she told me? 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.800 And so they did happen on my sixteenth birthday. My 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:14.840 dad really deeply, deeply disappointed me because he was kind 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:16.440 of not a great not kind of he was not 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:18.560 a great dad most of my life. And then around 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:20.400 like when I was around fifteen, he started kind of 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.200 showing up for me and wanting to be in my life, 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:25.880 and then like taking me to car dealerships to go 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:29.080 like check out cars because my sixteenth birthday was coming 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:30.520 up and I was going to get a car and 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:31.400 he was going to buy. 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:31.600 It for me. 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:35.920 That is literally like what he was portraying. Why else 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:40.960 would you take your daughter to car dealerships? And just backstory, 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:42.720 if you guys haven't listened to the episode with me 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:45.520 and my dad that we did at a long time ago, 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:48.200 or you haven't heard me talk about my relationship with him. 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:50.320 My dad wasn't really in my life until I was 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:52.160 around like four years old, and he was in and 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:55.160 out of my life throughout that time and just would 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:56.960 say he was going to show up, wouldn't show up. 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:00.240 Was really really disrespectful to my mom and it was 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:03.520 just bad. So at fifteen, when he started showing up, 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.360 I was like, Okay, I'm ready to like accept this 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:09.560 from you. And then on my sixteenth birthday he called 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:11.080 me to wish me happy birthday. I was like, what 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:14.400 do you want? And I was like a car, damn. 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:16.800 And he was like, you're not getting a car. I 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:18.399 didn't get a fucking car when I was sixteen. Why 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:21.280 would you get a car? And I was like what. 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:25.320 And that was the first time where I was like, fuck, 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:28.520 you don't talk to me. I don't want to talk 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:30.960 to you. And I cut my dad off on that 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:32.560 like that was the last time I talked to him 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:35.000 for about two years. And it's so crazy because I 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:38.080 kind of like, I know that happened, but my mom 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.320 was such an amazing parent and threw me this amazing 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:43.040 sixteenth birthday that it kind of. 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.280 Like I kind of just shoved that down. 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:47.919 And when I associated my sixteenth birthday associated with that 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:49.960 party that she threw me, I don't really associate it 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:50.560 with that moment. 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:54.160 You surprised that I did. I did. I didn't associate 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.119 it with that age. I don't know. I knew it happened, 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:57.320 but I wasn't sure when, you know. 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:01.760 And so when she said that, I was like, oh, yeah, 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:04.639 that's interesting that you would know that. And I was 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.600 told her, I was like, you know, I don't really 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:10.320 feel like I have a lot of like anger around 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:10.879 it anymore. 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:13.560 And she's like, you should really explore that, and I 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:14.119 was like okay. 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:18.640 So I called my dad and she had also said 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:20.320 that like this man came up on her sof on 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:22.560 my dad's side, that is like her like an intuitive 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:24.040 and do I know who this person is? And I 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:26.120 said no, because me and my dad we don't really 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:28.439 talked about that kind of shit. Called my dad and 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:30.399 he was like, Oh, I know exactly who she's talking about. 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:33.760 I had a guide, a healing guide throughout my career 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:36.560 and my dad played football, and I was like, what 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:39.160 my dad had a healing guy? Like what the fuck, 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:42.480