Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 1: I'm Mila.
Speaker 2: Hi, it's Wednesday, motherfuckers. Oh, I thought you were gonna
Speaker 2: like do some like really smooth transition. That heard David earlier?
Speaker 2: What was it? I forgot what it was. It wasn't
Speaker 2: it's ones say, motherfucker Phil. It was more like welcome
Speaker 2: to Wednesday. No, no, no, it was not almost spicy
Speaker 2: than that. What was it, David? I remember? That's why
Speaker 2: I Nope.
Speaker 3: Everybody on our team must write everything down at the
Speaker 3: very second. Nobody remembers shit. Everybody over here is smoking pot.
Speaker 3: Nobody remembers anything.
Speaker 4: Literally, we don't write shit down within ten seconds.
Speaker 2: It's gone for not smoking pot. It's not like my
Speaker 2: grandpa smoking pot over here. If you want to be
Speaker 2: on the Good Mom's team, you gotta smoke that pot.
Speaker 2: I smoke that pot. Good stuff. Are you four twenty friendly?
Speaker 4: No, I'm sorry. Unfortunately, we're not gonna be able to.
Speaker 3: Then we might need at least one person on the
Speaker 3: team that doesn't smoke that pot.
Speaker 1: I know, fuck does so let's smoke that pot. No, okay,
Speaker 1: well there, I know we got a hangover. Perfect Well,
Speaker 1: welcome to the first week of December. You guys, we've
Speaker 1: made it. Can you believe it's the fucking end of
Speaker 1: the year? He low, It has flown.
Speaker 3: By, It literally has, like I blanked in, bitch, is
Speaker 3: December again?
Speaker 1: It's crazy. I'm I mean, I'm actually happy. I think
Speaker 1: I'm ready for twenty twenty two. This year has been challenging.
Speaker 1: It's been filled with ups and downs, lots of ups,
Speaker 1: lots of good ups, lots of down downs.
Speaker 2: But you know, such as life. This is true, such
Speaker 2: just life. But I am really excited.
Speaker 3: About twenty twenty two two because twenty twenty two has
Speaker 3: like a significance. The numbers mean like hand I posted
Speaker 3: about this, let me go.
Speaker 2: Look check my notes.
Speaker 4: Twenty two is a master number in numerology.
Speaker 3: It's considered to be the most powerful number out of
Speaker 3: the rest, and thus also just sign out.
Speaker 2: My birthday is the twenty second anyway.
Speaker 3: And this master number twenty two is also called master
Speaker 3: builder or the master architect. It holds so much power
Speaker 3: that it can turn big dreams into reality if worked
Speaker 3: upon in a very sincere way. It's no coincidence or okay,
Speaker 3: sorry that was my that was my caption. I was
Speaker 3: throw a good vibe tree. If you're not following it,
Speaker 3: I'm dropping gems over there. Okay, at the good vibe
Speaker 3: for tree you.
Speaker 2: Have taken over.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that whole account Mela, Mela's art Meala's artwork.
Speaker 2: I posted something, she fucking deleted it. I post.
Speaker 1: She was like, that is the eliest picture ever. Stopped
Speaker 1: running my fucking account.
Speaker 3: I was like, picture of fruit we had like. I
Speaker 3: was like, we have better pictures of fruit?
Speaker 2: Why the fuck?
Speaker 3: And then I posted the one the next day she
Speaker 3: was like, this is your better picture. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: actually it's much more art day. I put a grain
Speaker 3: on it. This is the type of shit we talk
Speaker 3: about anyway.
Speaker 4: Twenty twenty two is the mother fucking year.
Speaker 2: I feel it. I'm good.
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 4: I feel like we'ren and May.
Speaker 3: Fucking May text us yesterday, which even adds to the alignment.
Speaker 3: It just so happens, you guys that our two hundredth
Speaker 3: episode will air on February twenty second, twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2: Crazy, How on the fuck?
Speaker 3: Because we're witches, bitches, that's why witches, which is which
Speaker 3: is with episode two hundred on two twenty to two.
Speaker 3: I will be in Costa Rica coicking up some more
Speaker 3: shit with some other witchy friends. And if you're not there,
Speaker 3: you're missing out for real, for real, real. Somebody messaged me,
Speaker 3: They're like, my coins are fucked up, but if I
Speaker 3: going on the trip, then like I'm really gonna be broken.
Speaker 2: I get back.
Speaker 4: I said, you come on the trip to manifest more.
Speaker 1: Money, right And also if you didn't know, you can
Speaker 1: have people put money on your trip. So through we Travel,
Speaker 1: which is our booking site, you can put down the deposit.
Speaker 1: And then for Christmas, ask all your hoes, all your parents,
Speaker 1: all your baby daddies that feel bad because they're trash
Speaker 1: to put money on your books. That's your books. But
Speaker 1: you know, put the money on the books. It's definitely
Speaker 1: not ja.
Speaker 2: I mean every little count. If you can get six
Speaker 2: hundred dollars, that's the biggest discount. That's true.
Speaker 3: If you have ten friends and they each give you
Speaker 3: like one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: Your trip is paid for almost that's not half paid
Speaker 2: for it. But if you have twenty friends, you're in there.
Speaker 3: We thought of you, We thought the contribution from your
Speaker 3: hose when we picked this particular side.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: We Travel Yeah, go to the link in our bio
Speaker 1: and book that trip and send it to all your
Speaker 1: hoes immediately asap. Promto yep, but on a more serious note,
Speaker 1: lighter serious, slash medium note. The theme for December is
Speaker 1: Deeper December.
Speaker 2: Deeper December. We're getting deeper because we like it deep.
Speaker 2: We're deep bitches.
Speaker 3: We can take it deep, deeply emotional, deeply deep, deeply
Speaker 3: wild and crazy, deeply sexy and just deep.
Speaker 2: And we like dig deep. I'd like to dig deep,
Speaker 2: and we like dig deep.
Speaker 3: The kind of girl like you will, you know, like
Speaker 3: a deep girl deep dick dee deep thoughts.
Speaker 2: Well, that's welcome to December.
Speaker 1: We really thought, we really thought all that through that
Speaker 1: we made the deep of desomber like perfect.
Speaker 2: There's two meanings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so this month, all month, we're gonna be digging
Speaker 1: deep in all different types of ways, penetrating that soul.
Speaker 2: Can you shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Like that?
Speaker 2: You want to.
Speaker 4: Penetrate that soul?
Speaker 2: I kill back the layers, penetrate that soul. That might
Speaker 2: be my new tagline.
Speaker 1: Well, I think really too, Like we're entering into twenty
Speaker 1: twenty two, Like you said, let's like get deep and
Speaker 1: let that shit go, Let's let it go. Let's go
Speaker 1: into twenty twenty two feeling rejuvenated, refreshed.
Speaker 3: Ready, you know, yeah, if you haven't, if you just
Speaker 3: are joining us on this journey, one thing you'll know
Speaker 3: and you'll learn really soon is all we talk about
Speaker 3: is healing and growing and letting shit go, because we've
Speaker 3: come to the conclusion that that's the purpose of life.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: And you have to constantly remind yourself because if you've
Speaker 1: also joining us on this journey, we've had a really
Speaker 1: hard time.
Speaker 2: Doing all those things.
Speaker 3: It's taken us well, we're still doing it, so same shit.
Speaker 3: That's yeah, it's you know, the thing about digging deep,
Speaker 3: it's a slow process.
Speaker 2: It's a journey, and.
Speaker 3: It's never fucking over, which seems really overwhelming, But you're
Speaker 3: going to get a little bit further each time. And
Speaker 3: I don't know, I feel like, even if you're not
Speaker 3: in your thirties or in your mid thirties or middle
Speaker 3: to the beginning, I want to be the mid thirties.
Speaker 3: I want to be in the mid beginning. So if
Speaker 3: whatever you're at listening to this, whenever age you're at,
Speaker 3: just know that as you get older, I think the
Speaker 3: things that you avoid come up more and more and
Speaker 3: more and more, and so if you continue to avoid them,
Speaker 3: it's easier to avoid them as you get older because
Speaker 3: you've mastered it. But it's also much more more important
Speaker 3: to get over it so that you don't pollute the
Speaker 3: rest of your life with your bullshit.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, you know.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to look up this quote that my girl Melanie,
Speaker 1: So Melanie Fiona. If you don't follow her, you should,
Speaker 1: because she was actually a guest on our show. I
Speaker 1: think it was like two years ago. Wow, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: She's just fucking amazing and she's always dropping gems. And
Speaker 1: I was looking at her Instagram the other day and
Speaker 1: she put this quote up and it said, remember the
Speaker 1: longer you carry something, the heavier it gets.
Speaker 3: I saw that too, and I was like, stop fucking
Speaker 3: talking to me like that bitch.
Speaker 1: Over there pregnant, just talking shit to me, just fucking
Speaker 1: mother naturing and shit. I know, No, she's so bright,
Speaker 1: and I was like, damn, it's so true. It does
Speaker 1: get heavier and heavier, even though we think it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter anymore, it's not affecting us. It rears its ugly
Speaker 1: head and even heavier way than even you expected.
Speaker 2: So let it go, slowly, start letting the shit.
Speaker 3: We welcome you and encourage you this month to just
Speaker 3: take a moment to go inward and reflect six self, dissect,
Speaker 3: be gentle with yourself. Obviously we always encourage gentle healing,
Speaker 3: but just be honest about the people you've tracted, the
Speaker 3: relationships you've kept, and what you've maybe done to contribute
Speaker 3: to them. And even like the destruction of yourself, what
Speaker 3: have you done to contribute to that?
Speaker 2: So yes, welcome, Welcome to the time. We are going
Speaker 2: to the first level of ourselves, Level one. Would you
Speaker 2: like to pull the card my love?
Speaker 3: Of course I would, Erica pre shuffled, because we all
Speaker 3: know I'm not good at that, but I am good
Speaker 3: at reading bitty Tara.
Speaker 2: Today's card is the Sun. I love this deggy thoughts,
Speaker 2: you know, hazards things.
Speaker 3: The sun, positivity, fun, warmth, success, vitility. The sun tarot
Speaker 3: card radiates with optimism and positivity. A large, bright sunshines
Speaker 3: in the sky, representing the source of all life on Earth. Underneath,
Speaker 3: four sunflowers grow tall above a brick wall, representing the
Speaker 3: four suits of the minor Arcana and the four elements.
Speaker 3: This tun represents success, radiance, and abundance. The sun gives
Speaker 3: you strength and tells you no matter where you go
Speaker 3: or what you do, your positive and radiant energy will
Speaker 3: follow you and bring you happiness and joy. People are
Speaker 3: drawn to you because you can always see the bright
Speaker 3: side and bring such warmth.
Speaker 2: Into other people's lives.
Speaker 3: This beautiful warm energy is what will get you through
Speaker 3: tough times and help you succeed. You're also in a
Speaker 3: position where you can share your highest qualities and achievements
Speaker 3: with others, radiate who you are and what you stand for.
Speaker 3: Shine your love on those you care about. If you're
Speaker 3: going through a difficult time, the sun brings you the
Speaker 3: message you have been waiting for that things will get better.
Speaker 3: Along your path, you discovered who you are and why
Speaker 3: you're here. Because you did that work deep dissever Now
Speaker 3: you are full of energy and zeal for the future
Speaker 3: and can already perceive success and abundance flowing to you.
Speaker 3: You are brooming with confidence because you know everything will
Speaker 3: work out.
Speaker 4: It always does. Life is good.
Speaker 3: The sun connects you to your power base, not fear
Speaker 3: driven equal time physical power, but the abundant inner energy
Speaker 3: radiating through you. Right now, you sense in your solar
Speaker 3: plexus chakra calling you to express yourself authentically and be
Speaker 3: fully present in the world around you. You have what
Speaker 3: others want and are being asked to radiate your energy
Speaker 3: and your gifts out into the world in a big way.
Speaker 3: Tap into your power and use your divine will to
Speaker 3: express that power in positive ways.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, I like that, beautiful.
Speaker 3: I usually don't even read the whole thing, but that
Speaker 3: felt very on point, so I had to kind of
Speaker 3: read most.
Speaker 2: Of that because I think that speaks to it as
Speaker 2: a darling very much.
Speaker 3: So we encourage to express your power in positive ways,
Speaker 3: be authentic and fully present in the world.
Speaker 2: Yes, amen, do you have an affirmation?
Speaker 3: I stand in my power and I take up space unapologetically.
Speaker 2: I stand in my power and I take up space unapologetic.
Speaker 2: Shall do? We shall do? Yep? How are you? I'm good? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm good. I am beautiful. Thanks Monytail's popping. Thanks. We
Speaker 2: went viral last month, so I figured i'd bring the heat. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I think that works so much. I know, I hate it.
Speaker 4: I love saying it, but I hate it so much.
Speaker 4: I love saying it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, so yeah, I just went viral last week.
Speaker 3: I've only been waiting four years to say it, so
Speaker 3: it just feels like I don't care who it's late
Speaker 3: I'm saying it. Oh my god, I only could call
Speaker 3: my like podcast friends and say that or I was
Speaker 3: myself fucking ridiculous. I couldn't wait to call Orlando, like, yes,
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure we went viral. This podcast asked was like,
Speaker 3: how many how many news.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, in the twenty four hour period, let
Speaker 2: me let me check the number.
Speaker 3: You only go viral twenty four hours divided by one
Speaker 3: hundred and thirty five views.
Speaker 2: Yep, viral verified viral. We're good? Do you look beautiful too?
Speaker 2: How are you? I'm good. I feel energized.
Speaker 1: I was sick last week, which was not great, but
Speaker 1: I think I needed to just kind of just sit
Speaker 1: my ass down and be at home.
Speaker 2: So that was good.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling healthy. I'm feeling rejuvenated. That's the word of
Speaker 1: the day for me and Irine. I taught her the
Speaker 1: word rejuvenate because we were this brand hit me up
Speaker 1: and she was like reading the email and like refused
Speaker 1: to let me close the email and was reading.
Speaker 2: It and just like and I was like rejuvenate.
Speaker 1: And then we went in the bathroom and her hair
Speaker 1: because she's been in her dad's but the last four
Speaker 1: days and I've been stressing out trying to get someone
Speaker 1: over there to braid it because I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, when she comes back, it's gonna be fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: Was it crazy? Yes?
Speaker 1: It was literally a hard afro in the bathroom, like
Speaker 1: solid brillo awkward. I couldn't even put like a finger
Speaker 1: in it, like it was hard and flat. And so
Speaker 1: we got in a shower and we put water on
Speaker 1: it and it came back to life.
Speaker 2: It was like a chia pet. Like now I understand
Speaker 2: why people call me a chiipet all my life. I
Speaker 2: love water on a curly hair. It's like a chia pet.
Speaker 1: I'm like, shok the fuck up. And then I put
Speaker 1: that water on my daughter's head and I was like, God,
Speaker 1: damn right, she's a tea pet. And it did come
Speaker 1: back to life, and I was like, baby, this is rejuvenation,
Speaker 1: mom that I redd your hair. Say it with me,
Speaker 1: say it again, rejuvenation. So we rejuvenated her hair. A
Speaker 1: rejuvenated mine curls as popin some day.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, a baby like a lion A. No, Sylvia
Speaker 2: did say I had a lot of LEO in my chart.
Speaker 2: Oh she did. She did.
Speaker 1: So this is me lyon assing. But yeah, I've been good.
Speaker 1: I've been good. I've been.
Speaker 5: Just focused on not beating myself up a lot as
Speaker 5: much as usual, because I have a lot of negative
Speaker 5: in her self talk that I'm working through that I
Speaker 5: didn't realize I do.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know, but like it's so it's been
Speaker 1: happening for so long that it's almost like a whisper
Speaker 1: that I barely hear it, but it's like it's all
Speaker 1: day long.
Speaker 2: Like you're they're talking about you behind me. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: that podcast has so anywhere listens in yours. Why you're rich?
Speaker 2: They're rich? Why why just live with the penhouse? Why
Speaker 2: do you live?
Speaker 1: And I'm like and then suddenly I'm having a panic attack,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, where does this panic attack come from?
Speaker 1: No idea, I just came out of the blue and
Speaker 1: everything's fine. So yeah, I've been like really trying to
Speaker 1: actually elevate that voice more so that I can hear
Speaker 1: it more often and then shut that bitch down. So
Speaker 1: and having I've been talking to myself out loud a lot,
Speaker 1: which is good. I mean, obviously, if you see me
Speaker 1: on the street, I look a little psycho. I was.
Speaker 1: I've been doing it on the street. Yeah, yeah, I've
Speaker 1: been doing it on the street, on the street. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm in dark street corners talking about myself anyway.
Speaker 2: Okay, so if you see Eric Fail on the street
Speaker 2: talking to her, so don't be alarmed. Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: So I had this reading. Me and Mila have obviously,
Speaker 1: you guys know, we've had a lot of readings. We've
Speaker 1: shared them on the podcast. But over the last few
Speaker 1: months it's been kind of like there's been a lot
Speaker 1: of I think people coming to us to do that.
Speaker 1: But I think obviously everything for us is very much intentional,
Speaker 1: even if you don't realize it at the time.
Speaker 2: And my good friend.
Speaker 1: Connected me to this intuitive channeler and she gave me
Speaker 1: a reading, and it was so crazy because I'm a skeptic.
Speaker 1: I don't know if any when anyone else listens, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely a spiritual person and like I believe in
Speaker 1: like higher powers. I believe in spirits for sure, but
Speaker 1: sometimes I'd be like, Nitch, did I really excite I shared?
Speaker 1: Do you this just says some shit to me, and
Speaker 1: I was like, like specific things that only really I
Speaker 1: would know, Like, for example, she told me that I
Speaker 1: have a lot of healing to do around forgiving my
Speaker 1: father and for me. I know that, but I feel
Speaker 1: like I've done a lot of healing art least I
Speaker 1: thought I did.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't feel away if everything's fine. She was like,
Speaker 1: what happened on your sixteenth birthday?
Speaker 2: And I was like, what she told me?
Speaker 1: And so they did happen on my sixteenth birthday. My
Speaker 1: dad really deeply, deeply disappointed me because he was kind
Speaker 1: of not a great not kind of he was not
Speaker 1: a great dad most of my life. And then around
Speaker 1: like when I was around fifteen, he started kind of
Speaker 1: showing up for me and wanting to be in my life,
Speaker 1: and then like taking me to car dealerships to go
Speaker 1: like check out cars because my sixteenth birthday was coming
Speaker 1: up and I was going to get a car and
Speaker 1: he was going to buy.
Speaker 6: It for me.
Speaker 1: That is literally like what he was portraying. Why else
Speaker 1: would you take your daughter to car dealerships? And just backstory,
Speaker 1: if you guys haven't listened to the episode with me
Speaker 1: and my dad that we did at a long time ago,
Speaker 1: or you haven't heard me talk about my relationship with him.
Speaker 1: My dad wasn't really in my life until I was
Speaker 1: around like four years old, and he was in and
Speaker 1: out of my life throughout that time and just would
Speaker 1: say he was going to show up, wouldn't show up.
Speaker 1: Was really really disrespectful to my mom and it was
Speaker 1: just bad. So at fifteen, when he started showing up,
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm ready to like accept this
Speaker 1: from you. And then on my sixteenth birthday he called
Speaker 1: me to wish me happy birthday. I was like, what
Speaker 1: do you want? And I was like a car, damn.
Speaker 1: And he was like, you're not getting a car. I
Speaker 1: didn't get a fucking car when I was sixteen. Why
Speaker 1: would you get a car? And I was like what.
Speaker 1: And that was the first time where I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: you don't talk to me. I don't want to talk
Speaker 1: to you. And I cut my dad off on that
Speaker 1: like that was the last time I talked to him
Speaker 1: for about two years. And it's so crazy because I
Speaker 1: kind of like, I know that happened, but my mom
Speaker 1: was such an amazing parent and threw me this amazing
Speaker 1: sixteenth birthday that it kind of.
Speaker 2: Like I kind of just shoved that down.
Speaker 1: And when I associated my sixteenth birthday associated with that
Speaker 1: party that she threw me, I don't really associate it
Speaker 1: with that moment.
Speaker 2: You surprised that I did. I did. I didn't associate
Speaker 2: it with that age. I don't know. I knew it happened,
Speaker 2: but I wasn't sure when, you know.
Speaker 1: And so when she said that, I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's interesting that you would know that. And I was
Speaker 1: told her, I was like, you know, I don't really
Speaker 1: feel like I have a lot of like anger around
Speaker 1: it anymore.
Speaker 2: And she's like, you should really explore that, and I
Speaker 2: was like okay.
Speaker 1: So I called my dad and she had also said
Speaker 1: that like this man came up on her sof on
Speaker 1: my dad's side, that is like her like an intuitive
Speaker 1: and do I know who this person is? And I
Speaker 1: said no, because me and my dad we don't really
Speaker 1: talked about that kind of shit. Called my dad and
Speaker 1: he was like, Oh, I know exactly who she's talking about.
Speaker 1: I had a guide, a healing guide throughout my career
Speaker 1: and my dad played football, and I was like, what
Speaker 1: my dad had a healing guy? Like what the fuck,
Speaker 1: like that is not My dad is like a Christian,
Speaker 1: Like I did not think he was on some healing
Speaker 1: guide shit.
Speaker 2: And he was like, yeah, that's for sure him.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you about that later, and she said and
Speaker 1: I mentioned my sixteenth birthday and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I fucked that up.
Speaker 2: And I was like yeah, he's like, you know, I'm
Speaker 2: really sorry. There's no excuse.
Speaker 1: You know, me and your mom got into an argument
Speaker 1: that day and I took it out on you, and
Speaker 1: I just I couldn't get out of my way to
Speaker 1: like get over it and just do what I knew
Speaker 1: was the right thing to do, and I just didn't.
Speaker 1: And the fact that you didn't want to talk to me,
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to deal with it. So I
Speaker 1: just let it happen. And like we really like he'd
Speaker 1: never reached out to me, like didn't even try to
Speaker 1: make it better.
Speaker 2: Did you tell him, don't don't talk, don't reach out?
Speaker 2: I did, but like I'm I did.
Speaker 1: So having that conversation was like I feel like really
Speaker 1: like being the start of kind of healing that. And
Speaker 1: so when I went home that week, for some reason,
Speaker 1: I was like how I don't know. I was like
Speaker 1: I my dad, like I told him. Even on that conversation,
Speaker 1: I was like, Dad, I forgive you, like you're a
Speaker 1: good dad like and it was really emotional the conversation
Speaker 1: that we had.
Speaker 2: We talked about a lot of other things.
Speaker 1: But when I went home in the morning, I woke
Speaker 1: up and I was like, I want to go for
Speaker 1: a walk, and so I started walking and then I
Speaker 1: just was like, I feel like I didn't talk and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna talk to my dad like,
Speaker 1: but not to my dad, just like out loud. And
Speaker 1: so I just started walking and like saying like, Dad,
Speaker 1: I forgive you, Dad.
Speaker 2: I forgive you for not showing up for me. Dad.
Speaker 2: I forgive you for not showing up for me on
Speaker 2: my sixteenth birthday. Dad, I forgive you for.
Speaker 1: Not being like there for me when like the first
Speaker 1: boy broke my heart. I forgive you for not consoling
Speaker 1: me when like just everything that I could think of,
Speaker 1: and I just was fucked. By the time I hit
Speaker 1: the corner, bitch, I was a fucking hysterically crying and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my God, like I.
Speaker 2: Have not forgiven this man.
Speaker 1: And I've been doing that almost every day, if not
Speaker 1: on walks then just while I'm washing dishes, just talking
Speaker 1: to him, because.
Speaker 2: Yes, I could say these things to him, and I
Speaker 2: have said.
Speaker 1: Some of these things to him, but it would be
Speaker 1: the excessiveness in which I need have to say it
Speaker 1: to get it out.
Speaker 2: He would think I'm absolutely crazy, like bitch.
Speaker 1: Okay, I guess, but I will say like that, I
Speaker 1: don't know where the inspiration came to, like you this tool,
Speaker 1: but it has been like deeply healing for me, and
Speaker 1: I really feel like, wow, I really am forgiving him
Speaker 1: And yeah, so that's been like really cool lately.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that you can agree that one of
Speaker 3: the things I've learned just through podcasting, which neither one
Speaker 3: of us were expecting, were like the power to say
Speaker 3: things out loud, the power.
Speaker 2: To just say it out loud, even to.
Speaker 3: Nobody you know, or to somebody, or just in general,
Speaker 3: just like the working of getting out because like words
Speaker 3: are spells, and even our thoughts are spells, but we
Speaker 3: are so like there's happening so like so quickly, and
Speaker 3: on a subconscious level, we're not as aware of them.
Speaker 3: But when we put attention into the things that we're
Speaker 3: saying and actually getting them out and releasing them.
Speaker 2: I think it makes such a difference. So it does.
Speaker 2: And like on that walk, every time.
Speaker 1: I hit that corner, because there's a specific corner that
Speaker 1: the first time I broke down, I still break down there.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, when I know that I've like hit
Speaker 1: the next level when I can turn that corner, I'm
Speaker 1: not crying yet for.
Speaker 2: Real, Like so I'm like, that's your measurement. Yeah, a corner.
Speaker 2: It is like a home run. So it's been good.
Speaker 1: And I think like I've realized that, like I have
Speaker 1: a lot of forgiving to do for the men, some
Speaker 1: of the men in my life. And I realized that
Speaker 1: how how I've treated some of the men in my
Speaker 1: life because of my relationship with my dad, and I've
Speaker 1: shared that with you like that, I feel like sometimes
Speaker 1: I can treat men as very like disposable to me,
Speaker 1: like if you don't add up to what I'm looking for,
Speaker 1: then like anyway whatever, or like I can be dismissive
Speaker 1: and I don't even I don't even mean to be.
Speaker 2: It's just like subconsciously I do it. And specifically with.
Speaker 1: This one person that I was talking to over FaceTime
Speaker 1: for like a few months, he went to New York,
Speaker 1: and he came and met up with us, and the
Speaker 1: way I handled the situation, like I didn't think, granted,
Speaker 1: this person is not my person, right, but like I
Speaker 1: did not like the way I handled that situation, and
Speaker 1: it like deeply affected me. And he has not contacted
Speaker 1: it even after like I tried to like say sorry,
Speaker 1: and like he.
Speaker 2: He did it, and I was like damn, like okay,
Speaker 2: that was my lesson.
Speaker 3: I mean, we meet all different types of people on
Speaker 3: our journeys for all different types of reasons, and you
Speaker 3: just have to be clear enough and open enough to
Speaker 3: like understand that like every little thing, every little person,
Speaker 3: every little small relationship, there's probably lesson in how like
Speaker 3: with yourself, if you're willing to examine yourself, which I
Speaker 3: thought you'd refine.
Speaker 2: I don't care what we could.
Speaker 3: I love you, but I think there are little lessons,
Speaker 3: you know, along the way that we have to be
Speaker 3: able to like observe and like look at ourselves. And
Speaker 3: did I deal with that properly? And also I did
Speaker 3: and let it go and be fine with that too.
Speaker 3: And even if you know you didn't let it, accept it,
Speaker 3: like acknowledge it and also let that shit go too,
Speaker 3: because I hold on to shit, Like damn I did that.
Speaker 2: Oh God, that's so terrible. Why I do that?
Speaker 4: I feel so bad And I'm like, bitch, why do
Speaker 4: you still care?
Speaker 2: You know, like that that those type of things too.
Speaker 3: It's so interesting Like listening to you, even when you
Speaker 3: were first telling me of experience with that that healer,
Speaker 3: I started to think about my childhood and like my
Speaker 3: sixteenth birthday, just because you said it, you know, and
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't remember. I literally can't remember.
Speaker 3: There's so many things I can't remember. Like I just remember.
Speaker 3: I mean, I remember some things here and there, but
Speaker 3: like it would take me a really lot of focus
Speaker 3: and concentration to like get to those places. And it
Speaker 3: made me think, like why, I've read something on the
Speaker 3: internet once about like it's not sometimes it's not that
Speaker 3: your childhood was so long ago and you can't remember.
Speaker 3: It's that you've suppressed those those memories because they're triggering.
Speaker 3: And when you do that in a childhood age, like
Speaker 3: it just becomes you just believe it's a distant memory
Speaker 3: and that's why you can't remember. But I know, I'm
Speaker 3: a master at suppressing feelings. And then like writing shit off,
Speaker 3: but I haven't. I haven't really really dealt with that yet,
Speaker 3: and like I know it's coming up. And like, I
Speaker 3: went to therapy last week because Erica probably put.
Speaker 2: Some pressure on me. I did not know you did it.
Speaker 1: You just like said, Actually it was after one of
Speaker 1: my walks around the block and I was like, I
Speaker 1: need to I need to push I need to just
Speaker 1: do a little gentle, little nudge to my.
Speaker 2: Friend because I know that you're like on the edge
Speaker 2: of like might you do this shit or I'm not
Speaker 2: going to do this shit. And I was like, let
Speaker 2: me just like remind her.
Speaker 1: Maybe she forgot, let me just remind her that she's
Speaker 1: available to Yeah.
Speaker 3: So she reminded me. I made the appointment. I went,
Speaker 3: and you know like those first two sessions or four whatever,
Speaker 3: that those intro sessions to a fucking new therapist are
Speaker 3: literally like a.
Speaker 2: Date from tender, like this is my name.
Speaker 3: But I'm like so eager to just get down to
Speaker 3: the ship. I'm like, let me tell you, let me
Speaker 3: tell what happened, let me have it. I remember, this
Speaker 3: is childishit this and I remember I was just telling
Speaker 3: her like I am, and I think we both are,
Speaker 3: and I've probably said before I am so I'd like
Speaker 3: to say I'm pretty self aware and I'm pretty rational.
Speaker 2: So a lot of.
Speaker 3: Times I'm like, yeah, this happened. I'm good though, you know,
Speaker 3: but I'm so programmed to be like I'm good though.
Speaker 3: I'm good, Like I'm almost like if something seems too
Speaker 3: much to deal with, I can seriously just bypass it
Speaker 3: with positivity or you know, like brush over it because
Speaker 3: life goes on. And I'm just afraid that maybe there
Speaker 3: are things that are super deeply hidden down inside of
Speaker 3: me that I haven't dealt with, and so like I'm
Speaker 3: just like ready to tackle them. A couple of months ago,
Speaker 3: I was telling Eric and I think I said this
Speaker 3: on the podcast, that someone was triggering me, this someone
Speaker 3: I was dating, and it something told me to like
Speaker 3: just stop, and I was breathing and I closed my
Speaker 3: eyes and I thought to myself, what about this person
Speaker 3: like rejecting me right now is making me feel bad?
Speaker 2: What about this is making me feel sad?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: What does this remind me of? What are these feelings
Speaker 3: similar to? Is there's something in my childhood that feels
Speaker 3: similar to this? And in my mind, I went through
Speaker 3: an exercise that I've never done before, and I don't
Speaker 3: know what prompted me to do it. And I started
Speaker 3: to like I found myself in my childhood home, like
Speaker 3: the one of the first houses.
Speaker 2: We lived in.
Speaker 3: I had to be like six or seven, you know,
Speaker 3: like really young, and I like went through the house
Speaker 3: and I found myself in the house as a child,
Speaker 3: and I was just like I saw myself looking at
Speaker 3: my childhood self, like feeling these similar feelings, and like
Speaker 3: spoke to that person and.
Speaker 2: Was just like, you know, it's okay.
Speaker 3: You know, people just like saying comforting things to that person.
Speaker 3: And I was like, wow, that's interesting. And I mentioned
Speaker 3: it to Salome in quose to because she's like, wow,
Speaker 3: that's an exercise that we like, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: like healers use for childhood trauma healing. And it's just crazy,
Speaker 3: like intuitively we have the ability to heal ourselves, but
Speaker 3: something seemed so strange or so crazy or so dumb
Speaker 3: that we ignore those urges to like kind of do that.
Speaker 3: And I haven't talked to myself out loud, but I
Speaker 3: think I'm going to start because even like that Mel
Speaker 3: Robbins episode, really like I was so triggered that I'm like, damn,
Speaker 3: this is really bothering me. How I talk to my
Speaker 3: how my family and this conversation with my dad. It
Speaker 3: feels so disrespectful, like I'm holding onto this. This is
Speaker 3: probably something I'm harboring, you know, like crying immediately when she's.
Speaker 2: Fucking just talking to us.
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, I might have to like look at this,
Speaker 3: but just also taking the steps to forgive and do
Speaker 3: the things that are uncomfortable and pick up the phone
Speaker 3: and say the things. And like, I also think getting
Speaker 3: high helps, Like I dropped that Lincoln or my family
Speaker 3: chats like my grandma, my uncle, my aunt because I
Speaker 3: was high.
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck it, listen to this, y'all. But
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 4: I'm excited about doing the work.
Speaker 3: I realized that I'm really good at running from it
Speaker 3: because I think I was probably in a similar space
Speaker 3: last year and probably a little bit before that. I
Speaker 3: went to therapy with like a hypnotherapist, and I was
Speaker 3: like committed to doing it, but like things happen, Shit happens,
Speaker 3: You meet niggas, you know stuff is going on, you
Speaker 3: feel like you're good, and then you ignore it. But
Speaker 3: like then six months, ten months twelve months later, you're still.
Speaker 2: And you're still there. It's true. I mean in therapy
Speaker 2: is expensive. H yeah, you know it can be expensive.
Speaker 1: And but you know because I know you mentioned that
Speaker 1: to me too, and I was like, girl, I know.
Speaker 2: But also think about, like how much you.
Speaker 1: Spend on some other dumb shit in one day that
Speaker 1: didn't help you do shit except make you look cute
Speaker 1: or feed your stomach, which we all know you love.
Speaker 1: Very important, but it's worth the investment, even for the
Speaker 1: most I think.
Speaker 2: I think that people who are even the most self
Speaker 2: aware need therapy the most.
Speaker 6: I realize because we think we are so self aware
Speaker 6: and we are, but like, okay, you've been all this
Speaker 6: self aware bitch, and you still change shit. You can
Speaker 6: be overly rational, well, you will rationalize yourself out of
Speaker 6: your feelings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you will rationalize yourself out of feeling shit because
Speaker 1: you're like okay, yeah, I know that happened. I'm okay,
Speaker 1: look at me, I'm standing, I'm functioning. I want to
Speaker 1: be better than just standing and functioning.
Speaker 2: I know I was killing the therapist.
Speaker 3: I was just like, yeah, I was Muslim and I
Speaker 3: was like five by like a four by an older boy.
Speaker 4: But like I feel fine about it.
Speaker 2: She's just like, you seem fine. I'm like, hey, I am.
Speaker 2: I don't think like affected me.
Speaker 3: I'm like, it happened, I'm fine, But I'm like even
Speaker 3: hearing myself talk like that so crazy, like bitch who
Speaker 3: talks like this that I'm like letting her know that
Speaker 3: it's cool. But I think maybe there's something more I
Speaker 3: need to dig in because that's not what it is,
Speaker 3: that's not bothering me. I'm like, there's another incident I'm
Speaker 3: not clear on, you know what I mean, but like
Speaker 3: I even know, like that's even how the interaction of
Speaker 3: my family like just like emotions are minimal on the
Speaker 3: scale of things that not like matter, but kind of well.
Speaker 2: Because there's always something bigger.
Speaker 1: There's always someone going through something more painful than you
Speaker 1: or this, or and I think that's too, like how
Speaker 1: rational people like I guess desensitize themselves and feelings. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: it could be worse. I have that person's whole family
Speaker 1: died in a car accident in mind's life.
Speaker 3: I have a roof over my head, I have food tonight,
Speaker 3: I'm healthy, I'm cool. Yeah, that's a little bit how
Speaker 3: I rationalize everything like there's much.
Speaker 1: And yes, and you should have gratitude in that, and
Speaker 1: absolutely like you should absolutely have gratitude in that. And
Speaker 1: there are people that are like having way harder existences
Speaker 1: right now than you, for sure and then me, But
Speaker 1: that gives so little power to yourself and acknowledging like
Speaker 1: the healing that has to happen, because it's just like
Speaker 1: you're immediately like ignoring it. You're immediately like so I
Speaker 1: begin it could be worse, could be worse, could be worse,
Speaker 1: could be worse, could be worse.
Speaker 3: Of course it could be worse. But like, how are
Speaker 3: you feeling right now? How is that affecting you? How
Speaker 3: is that doing out your spirit? Like where is it
Speaker 3: like just being put away somewhere? Like that's the thing
Speaker 3: with like our bodies and our spirits. It's like there's
Speaker 3: no it's literally sweeping it under carpet. It's not sweeping
Speaker 3: it out, You're sweeping it deep down somewhere that has
Speaker 3: is storing a bunch of heart and trauma and sadness
Speaker 3: and anger and resentment. And that's that also triggered me.
Speaker 3: I know I have the ability to be fucking spiteful
Speaker 3: and resentful and I'll forgive, but I will never forget,
Speaker 3: and I get like, and I know that that's something
Speaker 3: I have to work on. Like if you have feelings
Speaker 3: towards your dad about like just like resent I know
Speaker 3: I have feelings of resentment inside of me towards my parents,
Speaker 3: towards situations that I really have to get specific and
Speaker 3: talk out loud and probably like deal with to like
Speaker 3: kind of work through, you know, like as an adult
Speaker 3: so that I don't have to carry that.
Speaker 4: But so I appreciate your tools.
Speaker 3: If you see me walking around talking to myself and crying,
Speaker 3: I got it from Eric.
Speaker 1: I encourage everyone to do it. I mean, I'm no
Speaker 1: therapist or anything, but I feel like, especially you know,
Speaker 1: you saying that. You know, we've talked about how podcasting
Speaker 1: has been so healing and helped us manifest. It's helped
Speaker 1: us do so many things because we're saying things out
Speaker 1: loud every day, and it's like we need to just
Speaker 1: say things out loud, not just on the mic, but
Speaker 1: like when I'm trying to heal something or like when
Speaker 1: I'm trying to talk good to myself.
Speaker 2: I posted something on Patreon.
Speaker 1: The other day because I struggle with anxiety and because
Speaker 1: of my negative self talk, and I was like I
Speaker 1: did all I like pulled out all my tricks, like
Speaker 1: all my all my tricks that I pulled out whenever
Speaker 1: I feel that way, like Okay, let me take some CBD. Okay, nope, nope,
Speaker 1: nope's not working on. Let me do a dance party. Okay, nope,
Speaker 1: still feel fucking crazy. Okay, let me take a bath. Oh,
Speaker 1: let me masturbate. Like I literally did every fucking thing
Speaker 1: I could do, and I was like, why is this
Speaker 1: not working?
Speaker 2: And so finally I just like.
Speaker 1: Laid on my bed and I was like, what is it?
Speaker 2: What is it that I feel like has to get done?
Speaker 2: I feel like something needs me, something needs me.
Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, as parents and as mothers,
Speaker 1: we are constantly needed.
Speaker 2: You know, mommy, I want this, Mommy, I let that, Mommy,
Speaker 2: can I do this? Y? You do that? School?
Speaker 1: Hey you didn't do this, you didn't do that? We
Speaker 1: need this, squark, you need that? Hey do the deadline?
Speaker 1: Your parents?
Speaker 2: Hey, you're not gonna come to Are you gonna come?
Speaker 2: Are you gonna bring the kids. It's like everything is
Speaker 2: like something needs me, something needs to get done.
Speaker 4: So when things don't really need you, you still feel.
Speaker 1: You're like you're running on this like wheel of like
Speaker 1: something needs me, something needs me.
Speaker 2: It's like hard to not do shit, even like work.
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, oh my god, we got a post.
Speaker 1: I'm like, bitch, no one's waiting for the post because
Speaker 1: I don't even know the post exists, Like no one's
Speaker 1: waiting for the fucking post.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god. So I'm sitting on
Speaker 2: the bed and I'm like, nobody needs you, nobody fucking
Speaker 2: needs you right now.
Speaker 1: And like out of contacts, that can sound really fucked up,
Speaker 1: like nobody needs you, bitch, but like it really like
Speaker 1: I was like I just kept saying it over right
Speaker 1: over again, like nobody needs you.
Speaker 2: No one needs you, Erica except you. You need you, bitch,
Speaker 2: you need you. To calm the fuck down.
Speaker 3: I tell myself, everything's okay, everything's fine, it's okay not
Speaker 3: to think about it's okay that you haven't done that.
Speaker 3: It's okay not to think about anything. Actually sit down
Speaker 3: and don't think about shit. Breathe for sure.
Speaker 1: I mean I think that for me, those words though,
Speaker 1: like really helped me because those I think those are
Speaker 1: the words.
Speaker 2: I couldn't find the words.
Speaker 1: To put into the feeling that I was feeling, and
Speaker 1: I realized it was the need somebody needs me. And
Speaker 1: when I said no one needed me over and over
Speaker 1: and over again, I literally felt my body like.
Speaker 2: Loosen and like decompressed, and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: And then I went I was like, okay, how'd we
Speaker 2: get a massage?
Speaker 1: And I did that and that massage is kind of whack,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's besides the point.
Speaker 2: But it really really helped me.
Speaker 1: And I think, like, not only that is like what
Speaker 1: I also helped too to for me is like I
Speaker 1: started to record myself talking good to myself and listening
Speaker 1: back to it, because talking, like a lot of inner
Speaker 1: self positive talk happens in our head and that's great
Speaker 1: and that's wonderful and if that were for you, woahoo.
Speaker 1: For me, I realize I really need to hear myself
Speaker 1: talk good to myself. Like people say things to me
Speaker 1: all the time, but are nice, You're so beautiful, you're
Speaker 1: so smart.
Speaker 2: I look at these things you're doing. That's great, but like,
Speaker 2: what about how I feel about me? And do you
Speaker 2: believe it? Like everyone can tell you how great you are?
Speaker 2: But if you don't believe it, yeah, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like it's all like even talking about
Speaker 1: it, it feels like a little bit it's vain and self surveying,
Speaker 1: but like it's helps. It helps, like to hear yourself
Speaker 1: talk good to yourself, not just in your head, like
Speaker 1: take out your phone, hit that fucking record button and
Speaker 1: say some nice shit to yourself.
Speaker 3: I know, because I'll do it, like to counteract anxiety
Speaker 3: in my head on my own.
Speaker 4: But it's true, like to say it out loud, it does.
Speaker 3: Seem absurd and like fain, even when I'm talking to
Speaker 3: other people and I say like good things about like
Speaker 3: things I'm proud of about myself, Oh my God, share
Speaker 3: the fuck up. But like I got high the other
Speaker 3: day amongst the time where I was feeling so anxious
Speaker 3: and like just like I couldn't sit still, I couldn't
Speaker 3: not think, And I I told you I was thinking,
Speaker 3: like I had this thought about like people put pour
Speaker 3: so much like grace into God, like thank you God,
Speaker 3: praise Jesus or whatever the prayers say, and I was like,
Speaker 3: what if I internalized that light, you know, like I
Speaker 3: am an extension of God I'm an extension of spirit.
Speaker 3: I'm an extension of the existence of everything. I'm a woman,
Speaker 3: I'm the universe. And I was just like giving myself
Speaker 3: that grace, like I turned that outward. What would death
Speaker 3: like usually be that outward praise of this like distant
Speaker 3: like spirit guide into myself and I was like, Wow,
Speaker 3: You're so amazing, and the things you're capable of are extensive,
Speaker 3: and like the way you care for your child and
Speaker 3: the mother that you are, and the way that you
Speaker 3: show up and like the grace that you radiate on
Speaker 3: other people. And I started to feel myself feel better.
Speaker 3: And I started to feel myself like the tension release
Speaker 3: and then I relax my jaw and I relax my
Speaker 3: eyes and my neck and I just sat in it
Speaker 3: and I started to feel emotional, like I started to cry.
Speaker 4: I was also high and alone and like it just
Speaker 4: like I was.
Speaker 3: Just like wow, I the shifting of asking for something,
Speaker 3: giving out the energy or putting it out and just
Speaker 3: like putting it back into myself, like turning that same
Speaker 3: energy and that same like love of unconditional love and
Speaker 3: like awe and to myself. That like starts to make
Speaker 3: me feel aligned with being an extension of spirit.
Speaker 1: You know, Oh absolutely, I think that it's really important.
Speaker 1: Would you be open to sharing how you would talk
Speaker 1: positive to yourself? You're so annoying, I'll go it too.
Speaker 3: Okay, Wow, Jamila, you're so amazing and intelligent.
Speaker 2: You have such positive energy. You shed so much light
Speaker 2: on other people.
Speaker 3: And you are a good friend and a good mom
Speaker 3: and a great listener. You think about people, you think
Speaker 3: about how they're doing. You're a great cook, and you're
Speaker 3: a great decorator. And I like the way you dance.
Speaker 4: Work on that a little more, but that, Yeah, it's
Speaker 4: me on the spot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good start. It's good start, Erica. You
Speaker 1: get up every single day and you try your best.
Speaker 1: Even if you don't finish everything. Who the fuck cares
Speaker 1: because you got up and you did it. Your daughter
Speaker 1: loves you and everyone tells you how amazing she is,
Speaker 1: and that is a direct reflection of you. You are
Speaker 1: beautiful inside and out. Your hair is a fucking bomb.
Speaker 1: Whether it's short or long. Guess what you can it
Speaker 1: can take many different shapes and bitch your motherfucking chameleon.
Speaker 1: Not only that, your booty is bay and bitch yep,
Speaker 1: And that pussy is strong, maybe even doing them keegels
Speaker 1: and all the niggas. No, and they don't even get
Speaker 1: to feel it all the time. God, if only they knew, bitch.
Speaker 1: And you know you haven't found your partner, but he's
Speaker 1: on the way, because when he meets you, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be ready because you've done all this amazing work. And
Speaker 1: even though you didn't complete all the projects, you send
Speaker 1: forty five fucking emails today.
Speaker 2: How much more do you want from yourself?
Speaker 1: You woke up, you got your her dress, you did
Speaker 1: her hair, you got you dressed, you wiped your ass,
Speaker 1: you fed her breakfast, You sent the emails, You hit
Speaker 1: up May, you hit up David, you hit up Jamila,
Speaker 1: You bothered everyone, You made sure everyone knew that you
Speaker 1: knew that they needed to do what they needed to do.
Speaker 2: And somehow you still found a little extra time to
Speaker 2: do something for yourself. You're the bomb, bitch. You're the
Speaker 2: bomb bitch, Amen Emien.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a little bit of how like the
Speaker 1: self talk thing that I've been doing is like it's
Speaker 1: not like.
Speaker 2: And like it's not like, and you are so important
Speaker 2: and like, no.
Speaker 1: Bitch, yeah you want that, bitch, bitch, Okay, shut the
Speaker 1: fuck up. Like literally, I was like in the middle
Speaker 1: of like talking bad to myself, and I was like.
Speaker 2: No, we're not doing that right now. No, we're not.
Speaker 2: Absolutely fucking That's.
Speaker 3: Almost like you have to check yourself as if you
Speaker 3: found a bitch talking about your friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what the fuck are you talking to bitch? Exactly?
Speaker 3: You're not talking about my friend like that. Hell no,
Speaker 3: the fuck up, bitch. You don't know what the fuck
Speaker 3: you're talking. Like literally, yeah, that's how it was. And
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm absolutely nuts. If someone was in here,
Speaker 3: they would think I'm crazy. No, but it's necessary I
Speaker 3: had to do. I feel you like, I was like,
Speaker 3: you started at nothing. You have almost two hundred episodes.
Speaker 3: You are number one top one percent podcasts in the
Speaker 3: world that didn't happen overnight for no reason.
Speaker 2: You made art for every single episode. Every episode has art.
Speaker 2: You are a graphic designer, bitch, you make fashions, you said.
Speaker 2: I was literally like, we have merch. We sent out merch.
Speaker 2: We are designers of a fashion.
Speaker 1: Life, and we somehow sent it out, not always the time,
Speaker 1: but who cares. The tribe understands we're moms. We're trying
Speaker 1: our best. It's not a good commercial for our shop.
Speaker 1: We hired someone so order from our shit. But you're
Speaker 1: inspiring women.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm so grateful too for our community. Like you
Speaker 3: don't understand sometimes, Like the other day, I was feeling
Speaker 3: like someone sent like a post or whatever, a story
Speaker 3: and they're like, I'm so.
Speaker 2: Proud, like so happy with these girls. You're doing it,
Speaker 2: your mom and you're killing it. Thank you, because I
Speaker 2: was not feeling that way right now.
Speaker 3: Like the connection amongst us is so strong, the web
Speaker 3: of like inner inner strength, and like I don't know,
Speaker 3: I just feel like I always say this, it's a revolution.
Speaker 3: Women are coming together. It's a revolution for the women,
Speaker 3: and we're supporting each other, we're encouraging each other, and
Speaker 3: we're fucking thriving, like with children and communities, we're just
Speaker 3: literally thriving. And the universe is opening up to us
Speaker 3: to connect, to use each other in positive ways the
Speaker 3: way that we can all get to the next level
Speaker 3: and like use this time because the universe is really
Speaker 3: leveling up for women and like anything you want you
Speaker 3: could literally have, and it's just about reminding yourself that
Speaker 3: you deserve it and talking that good shit to yourself,
Speaker 3: cutting that negative talk.
Speaker 2: I'm talking that good shit about other women.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and to other women that's bomb, you know, Like
Speaker 4: there's no I like.
Speaker 1: Not comparing your blessings to someone else's. I mean, I've
Speaker 1: done that my whole life. I'm fab mean, I was
Speaker 1: preconditioned to feeling like everything is a competition, you know,
Speaker 1: like everything's a competition. No, she has that, Why don't
Speaker 1: I have that?
Speaker 2: Like you know, and I.
Speaker 1: Still feel that come up a little bit, but like
Speaker 1: I feel it's silenced so much.
Speaker 3: It's so crazy, that competitive voice, Like the other day
Speaker 3: so crazy.
Speaker 2: I forgot to tell you this.
Speaker 4: I was about to post for Maudibody.
Speaker 3: But I first it was like it's a postpartum about
Speaker 3: how you're feeling postpartums pictures.
Speaker 2: Of me like with the baby, like Luna as a baby.
Speaker 3: But before I posted it, I looked at yours, so
Speaker 3: like just see what you wrote and ic Luna was
Speaker 3: next to me and she's like, oh, like she said
Speaker 3: something like oh that's Eric and Iri I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like I'm not to post ours. She's like, I
Speaker 3: hope people like it, like they like like, I hope
Speaker 3: they like it, like they liked hers. I was like, what,
Speaker 3: Oh my god, who I don't know, Like is this
Speaker 3: just innately children?
Speaker 2: Like she doesn't no shit about likes. She just say
Speaker 2: like how many lives did she get? But she was like,
Speaker 2: oh they like ours if they like Eric and Ivies.
Speaker 3: I'm like almost crying, like what the fuck is this pressure?
Speaker 3: I'm like, am I is it like innately going to
Speaker 3: my child? The pressure I put on myself?
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, am I projecting what is happening?
Speaker 1: But it was so many things we don't have control of,
Speaker 1: the like school, like what happens at school, the way
Speaker 1: like parents are talking and teaching their children and then
Speaker 1: their kids are coming up showing up at school and
Speaker 1: throwing their bullshit on our kids. Like it's a lot,
Speaker 1: you know, there's only so much we can fucking come combat.
Speaker 2: So I don't think it has.
Speaker 3: Anything to do with you, No, but I do think
Speaker 3: it starts with you will be more aware of talking
Speaker 3: positively to your child if you talk more positively to yourself.
Speaker 3: I don't talk that positive myself, and I like I
Speaker 3: notice that, like I can slack and air. Louna is
Speaker 3: super confident. She can't tell her shit honestly, but like
Speaker 3: it reminds like I am not good at doing that,
Speaker 3: like in my family, in myself, like giving a lot
Speaker 3: of praise to people wasn't. It's just not how we
Speaker 3: communicate our love. We like kind of talk shit is love.
Speaker 3: So it just like it reminds me like I have
Speaker 3: to first implement it with myself and be like graceful
Speaker 3: and kind to myself to remind myself to do it
Speaker 3: to my daughter.
Speaker 4: And so she sees me doing it to myself.
Speaker 3: And to her, and then when those other children come,
Speaker 3: or those teachers come, or those other adults do that
Speaker 3: thing where people compare and make these comments that they're
Speaker 3: we're not even aware of that, she already knows like
Speaker 3: I know I'm good and I can talk kindly to myself.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it is just like a healing. It's a
Speaker 3: radical healing when you can love on yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it is important that you should does
Speaker 1: see that because I remember my mom always talking shit about.
Speaker 2: Her body all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm fat oughugh, And I was looking at myself like
Speaker 1: am I fat?
Speaker 2: Am? I? That is right? That's my mom? Or shit,
Speaker 2: I look like you right? So is this is something wrong?
Speaker 2: With me, like it's really yeah, it's really important.
Speaker 1: That even if you don't feel beautiful, just shut the
Speaker 1: fuck up then about it.
Speaker 3: Start to try and not shut the fuck up, but
Speaker 3: notice it and then try to feel good about it.
Speaker 2: Like that, but also shut the fuck up in front
Speaker 2: of your kids about it. Just be quiet. We know
Speaker 2: your kids.
Speaker 1: Don't look to your kids to validate you. Do not
Speaker 1: wait for your children to be like, Mommy, you're not fat,
Speaker 1: you're beautiful. If you do that, you're fucking your kids.
Speaker 1: I'm serious. Don't do that shit like it's not cute,
Speaker 1: it's not cool. You don't need your little human to
Speaker 1: validate you. They are looking to you to validate yourself
Speaker 1: so that they in turn can validate themselves in a
Speaker 1: really genuine, authentic way, you know, And like I see
Speaker 1: parents do that.
Speaker 2: I see people do that, and it's like.
Speaker 1: Ooh, and I mean I have to like maybe I
Speaker 1: need to analyze myself and see if I do that.
Speaker 1: I know that I've I've had body issues on and
Speaker 1: off my whole life. I really try to be conscious
Speaker 1: though about I don't even like when I resize the
Speaker 1: word fat, it really irritated.
Speaker 2: I love skinny fat both those words. I'm like, why
Speaker 2: are we using those words?
Speaker 1: Let's not even why are we talking about Like even
Speaker 1: today she was making something this. I didn't correct her
Speaker 1: because I I understood what you're trying to say. She's
Speaker 1: like she's cutting out a dress. She's like, I want
Speaker 1: the dress to be skinny, and she meant like tight
Speaker 1: time fitting. Yeah, but and that was fine. But I
Speaker 1: was just like, god, these words, like they're so.
Speaker 2: Yucky. You know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean yeah, language is a bitch, but I
Speaker 4: feel you.
Speaker 3: I try to talk positive about my body in front
Speaker 3: of loo and like be naked and let her be naked,
Speaker 3: and like.
Speaker 2: It's your house. You choose.
Speaker 3: How do you want to feel, how do you feel?
Speaker 3: What do you want to wear? You know, like I
Speaker 3: try not to. Like she was wearing afro the other
Speaker 3: day and my mom was like, oh you got your hair.
Speaker 3: Oh your hair is crazy.
Speaker 2: It was like so cute. I saw it. I saw
Speaker 2: I was cute, as I like.
Speaker 4: And then the next it's like I don't want to
Speaker 4: wear afro.
Speaker 3: I'm like, why it's beautiful? Everyone complimented. You're like, no
Speaker 3: they didn't. I was like, yes they did, Yeah they did.
Speaker 2: I heard them. I go hard with the afro affirmations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like Irie, I'm like, your hair is bombed this way,
Speaker 1: it's amazing, Like you see my afro. Look at this shit.
Speaker 1: It's fucking great. Every time someone like compliments me, and
Speaker 1: like when I'm out, I'm like you see that, you
Speaker 1: see how they like my yep? Yeah killing it? Well yeah, Well.
Speaker 3: This is the beginning of Dike Deep December, and I
Speaker 3: hope you enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: I hope this makes you reflect on.
Speaker 3: Whatever wherever you're at right now, you know, and we'll
Speaker 3: be going deep.
Speaker 2: Going to go deeper, deep, deep dep I wouldn't make
Speaker 2: an appointment with that there. I mean that healer should.
Speaker 1: If you guys haven't joined our Patreon, I want to
Speaker 1: encourage you to do so, go and listen to my
Speaker 1: whole little mini episode where I talk about not being needed.
Speaker 2: Mila shares some stuff on there too.
Speaker 1: We're kind of like venturing into doing little solo solo.
Speaker 2: Episode blogs and I'm kind of enjoying it.
Speaker 1: I'm like so used to talking with you that I'm
Speaker 1: like when I when I recorded it by myself, I.
Speaker 2: Was like, WHOA, this is weird.
Speaker 3: I you know, it's not my favorite thing. To do,
Speaker 3: but I'm working past it, so Eric it doesn't.
Speaker 2: Be pissed with me. So I did it with my snake, Heather.
Speaker 2: I was like, come on, sure, you go home. I
Speaker 2: do it together.
Speaker 3: Snake's like, bitch, put me back in the cage. Speaking
Speaker 3: of that fucking snake. The other day, first of all,
Speaker 3: I bought Lonna a snake because she's been asking my
Speaker 3: for her birthday.
Speaker 2: She'll be seven on Saturdays.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy she's almost a teenager. But then I
Speaker 3: was like, you know what, this is a really ad
Speaker 3: char witchy household, and we can watch it grow and
Speaker 3: shed and I can put like I can put the
Speaker 3: sheddings on the altar. So then I got it, and
Speaker 3: then it's great. Only eats a little baby mouse once
Speaker 3: a week. Anyway, she hasn't been home, so I'm just
Speaker 3: waking up, you know, living my best life.
Speaker 2: Went to go pee. I look the fuck over into.
Speaker 3: The bathtub and there's a snake in the bathtub, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, that looks a lot like Heather.
Speaker 2: What a fuck is Heather?
Speaker 3: First wile he's a heat in the bathtub.
Speaker 7: I literally went my head. I was like, that snake
Speaker 7: is in the bathtub. Oh no, and I was like,
Speaker 7: that's my snake. I was pissed. I don't know you
Speaker 7: text me. I was so she was so pitch or
Speaker 7: text and even makes sense. She texted me like I
Speaker 7: woke up to pee and I was like, so, someone
Speaker 7: peeding your bed. No, bitch, Heather's in the bathtub. I'm like,
Speaker 7: so you peede on yourself and Heather's in the bathtub.
Speaker 2: No. I was like, I don't know what you're trying
Speaker 2: to tell. Then I want to get headed out of
Speaker 2: the bathtub.
Speaker 3: The bitch was snapping at me like she was supposed
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 2: He was supposed to be the bathtub. I don't know
Speaker 2: why she snaps. He he snaps.
Speaker 3: Heather is a he Sorry Luda is specific about Heather
Speaker 3: being a heat.
Speaker 2: Okay, got it. He is a heat.
Speaker 3: But yeah, he can he can bite you. Okay, he
Speaker 3: doesn't have sharp teeth. He did it, but I could
Speaker 3: just see him like, I was like, you, motherfucker, I
Speaker 3: fed you anyway, the motherfuckers like I didn't go down
Speaker 3: the bathtub.
Speaker 4: Draya, and then I had to replace him by Saturday.
Speaker 2: I'm pissed anyway.
Speaker 1: Well, thanks for getting Luna a fucking snake because now
Speaker 1: Irie wants a goddamn snake and that's not happening.
Speaker 2: You want up her witchiness, Witchy has so I don't
Speaker 2: do creatures. I don't do animals in my home.
Speaker 1: I just my dog just died a few weeks and
Speaker 1: Hans ago a few months ago.
Speaker 2: And I'm really enjoying not having to like take care
Speaker 2: of shit. Really low maintenance, he is. Really, I don't
Speaker 2: want to have.
Speaker 1: To defrost a little baby fucking mouse in my pot
Speaker 1: that I cook.
Speaker 4: I didn't do it in my pot, bitch.
Speaker 3: You take some hot water, you put it in, you
Speaker 3: can just run it under hot water on you hold it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do any of that.
Speaker 4: You see it coming back to life like hairs start
Speaker 4: to like and it's.
Speaker 2: Like I told her to ask her dad. Yeah, well
Speaker 2: that snake's going to die.
Speaker 3: If you get a snake and I get a snake,
Speaker 3: we could do like so many witchy rituals together.
Speaker 2: I'll come over. We can do it. Okay, fine, I'm
Speaker 2: a snake mom. Now hashtag snake mom. I don't have
Speaker 2: to use that. Oh shout out to Roger.
Speaker 3: He psychologists said he has two corn snakes at they're
Speaker 3: seventeen years old and they're they're like four feet each,
Speaker 3: So I really am you've made I know I'm a
Speaker 3: fucking twenty I'm gonna have a twenty year old snake soon. Anyway,
Speaker 3: thank you guys for listening. We appreciate you, we.
Speaker 4: Love you, and I'm.
Speaker 3: So grateful for this community. I hope to mingle with
Speaker 3: you guys in Costa Rica. We're almost sold out. If
Speaker 3: you have not, go get your niggas depending on your trip,
Speaker 3: because it's gonna be bomb. We're going to be manifesting.
Speaker 3: I won't bring Heather the Snake, don't worry. And also listen,
Speaker 3: I hope for our talks on Patreon.
Speaker 4: Erica is doing her self talk. I'm going to try
Speaker 4: and do some self.
Speaker 3: Talk and we're going to walk you through our childhood
Speaker 3: healing trauma because we're therapist.
Speaker 2: We'll also make sure to go follow us on Twitter.
Speaker 2: I know we never really.
Speaker 1: Advertised on Twitter, but apparently we're popping over there a
Speaker 1: little bit, tiny bit, well tiny pop pop.
Speaker 2: We went viral on Twitter.
Speaker 1: We did, I don't even know. I was like, what
Speaker 1: what are we doing on virl?
Speaker 2: What? And all my friends are on Twitter, like look
Speaker 2: at this, I was like, what does this mean? I
Speaker 2: don't know a good girl, Good Mom underscore bad Girl.
Speaker 1: Follow us on TikTok Good Mom's Bad Choice because I
Speaker 1: guess the s was taken.
Speaker 2: I don't fucking know. And Patreon.
Speaker 1: If you do try to search us on Patreon, you
Speaker 1: actually have to like either click the link in this
Speaker 1: episode description or go to patreon dot com backslash Good
Speaker 1: Mom's Bad Choices because they be blocking sexy moms.
Speaker 3: So also, if you haven't, go listen to our episode
Speaker 3: last week with sur Marvelous.
Speaker 2: Yes I see this popping on the fire stick kind
Speaker 2: of though there was Oh my god, that he's amazing.
Speaker 2: He's amazing. I shout out to him. All right, we'll
Speaker 2: catch you guys on SUPERSTI