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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Mila.

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Speaker 2: Hi, it's Wednesday, motherfuckers. Oh, I thought you were gonna

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Speaker 2: like do some like really smooth transition. That heard David earlier?

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Speaker 2: What was it? I forgot what it was. It wasn't

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Speaker 2: it's ones say, motherfucker Phil. It was more like welcome

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Speaker 2: to Wednesday. No, no, no, it was not almost spicy

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Speaker 2: than that. What was it, David? I remember? That's why

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Speaker 2: I Nope.

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Speaker 3: Everybody on our team must write everything down at the

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Speaker 3: very second. Nobody remembers shit. Everybody over here is smoking pot.

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Speaker 3: Nobody remembers anything.

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Speaker 4: Literally, we don't write shit down within ten seconds.

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Speaker 2: It's gone for not smoking pot. It's not like my

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Speaker 2: grandpa smoking pot over here. If you want to be

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Speaker 2: on the Good Mom's team, you gotta smoke that pot.

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Speaker 2: I smoke that pot. Good stuff. Are you four twenty friendly?

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Speaker 4: No, I'm sorry. Unfortunately, we're not gonna be able to.

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Speaker 3: Then we might need at least one person on the

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Speaker 3: team that doesn't smoke that pot.

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Speaker 1: I know, fuck does so let's smoke that pot. No, okay,

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Speaker 1: well there, I know we got a hangover. Perfect Well,

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Speaker 1: welcome to the first week of December. You guys, we've

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Speaker 1: made it. Can you believe it's the fucking end of

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Speaker 1: the year? He low, It has flown.

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Speaker 3: By, It literally has, like I blanked in, bitch, is

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Speaker 3: December again?

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Speaker 1: It's crazy. I'm I mean, I'm actually happy. I think

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Speaker 1: I'm ready for twenty twenty two. This year has been challenging.

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Speaker 1: It's been filled with ups and downs, lots of ups,

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Speaker 1: lots of good ups, lots of down downs.

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Speaker 2: But you know, such as life. This is true, such

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Speaker 2: just life. But I am really excited.

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Speaker 3: About twenty twenty two two because twenty twenty two has

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Speaker 3: like a significance. The numbers mean like hand I posted

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Speaker 3: about this, let me go.

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Speaker 2: Look check my notes.

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Speaker 4: Twenty two is a master number in numerology.

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Speaker 3: It's considered to be the most powerful number out of

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Speaker 3: the rest, and thus also just sign out.

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Speaker 2: My birthday is the twenty second anyway.

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Speaker 3: And this master number twenty two is also called master

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Speaker 3: builder or the master architect. It holds so much power

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Speaker 3: that it can turn big dreams into reality if worked

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Speaker 3: upon in a very sincere way. It's no coincidence or okay,

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Speaker 3: sorry that was my that was my caption. I was

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Speaker 3: throw a good vibe tree. If you're not following it,

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Speaker 3: I'm dropping gems over there. Okay, at the good vibe

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Speaker 3: for tree you.

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Speaker 2: Have taken over.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy that whole account Mela, Mela's art Meala's artwork.

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Speaker 2: I posted something, she fucking deleted it. I post.

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Speaker 1: She was like, that is the eliest picture ever. Stopped

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Speaker 1: running my fucking account.

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Speaker 3: I was like, picture of fruit we had like. I

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Speaker 3: was like, we have better pictures of fruit?

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Speaker 2: Why the fuck?

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Speaker 3: And then I posted the one the next day she

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Speaker 3: was like, this is your better picture. I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: actually it's much more art day. I put a grain

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Speaker 3: on it. This is the type of shit we talk

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Speaker 3: about anyway.

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Speaker 4: Twenty twenty two is the mother fucking year.

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Speaker 2: I feel it. I'm good.

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Speaker 5: I do.

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Speaker 4: I feel like we'ren and May.

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Speaker 3: Fucking May text us yesterday, which even adds to the alignment.

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Speaker 3: It just so happens, you guys that our two hundredth

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Speaker 3: episode will air on February twenty second, twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 2: Crazy, How on the fuck?

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Speaker 3: Because we're witches, bitches, that's why witches, which is which

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Speaker 3: is with episode two hundred on two twenty to two.

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Speaker 3: I will be in Costa Rica coicking up some more

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Speaker 3: shit with some other witchy friends. And if you're not there,

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Speaker 3: you're missing out for real, for real, real. Somebody messaged me,

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Speaker 3: They're like, my coins are fucked up, but if I

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Speaker 3: going on the trip, then like I'm really gonna be broken.

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Speaker 2: I get back.

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Speaker 4: I said, you come on the trip to manifest more.

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Speaker 1: Money, right And also if you didn't know, you can

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Speaker 1: have people put money on your trip. So through we Travel,

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Speaker 1: which is our booking site, you can put down the deposit.

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Speaker 1: And then for Christmas, ask all your hoes, all your parents,

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Speaker 1: all your baby daddies that feel bad because they're trash

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Speaker 1: to put money on your books. That's your books. But

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Speaker 1: you know, put the money on the books. It's definitely

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Speaker 1: not ja.

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Speaker 2: I mean every little count. If you can get six

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Speaker 2: hundred dollars, that's the biggest discount. That's true.

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Speaker 3: If you have ten friends and they each give you

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Speaker 3: like one hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: Your trip is paid for almost that's not half paid

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Speaker 2: for it. But if you have twenty friends, you're in there.

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Speaker 3: We thought of you, We thought the contribution from your

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Speaker 3: hose when we picked this particular side.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: We Travel Yeah, go to the link in our bio

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Speaker 1: and book that trip and send it to all your

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Speaker 1: hoes immediately asap. Promto yep, but on a more serious note,

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Speaker 1: lighter serious, slash medium note. The theme for December is

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Speaker 1: Deeper December.

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Speaker 2: Deeper December. We're getting deeper because we like it deep.

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Speaker 2: We're deep bitches.

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Speaker 3: We can take it deep, deeply emotional, deeply deep, deeply

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Speaker 3: wild and crazy, deeply sexy and just deep.

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Speaker 2: And we like dig deep. I'd like to dig deep,

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Speaker 2: and we like dig deep.

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Speaker 3: The kind of girl like you will, you know, like

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Speaker 3: a deep girl deep dick dee deep thoughts.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's welcome to December.

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Speaker 1: We really thought, we really thought all that through that

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Speaker 1: we made the deep of desomber like perfect.

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Speaker 2: There's two meanings.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so this month, all month, we're gonna be digging

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Speaker 1: deep in all different types of ways, penetrating that soul.

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Speaker 2: Can you shut the fuck up.

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Speaker 1: Like that?

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Speaker 2: You want to.

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Speaker 4: Penetrate that soul?

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Speaker 2: I kill back the layers, penetrate that soul. That might

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Speaker 2: be my new tagline.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think really too, Like we're entering into twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty two, Like you said, let's like get deep and

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Speaker 1: let that shit go, Let's let it go. Let's go

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Speaker 1: into twenty twenty two feeling rejuvenated, refreshed.

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Speaker 3: Ready, you know, yeah, if you haven't, if you just

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Speaker 3: are joining us on this journey, one thing you'll know

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Speaker 3: and you'll learn really soon is all we talk about

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Speaker 3: is healing and growing and letting shit go, because we've

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Speaker 3: come to the conclusion that that's the purpose of life.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 1: And you have to constantly remind yourself because if you've

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Speaker 1: also joining us on this journey, we've had a really

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Speaker 1: hard time.

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Speaker 2: Doing all those things.

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Speaker 3: It's taken us well, we're still doing it, so same shit.

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Speaker 3: That's yeah, it's you know, the thing about digging deep,

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Speaker 3: it's a slow process.

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Speaker 2: It's a journey, and.

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Speaker 3: It's never fucking over, which seems really overwhelming, But you're

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Speaker 3: going to get a little bit further each time. And

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I feel like, even if you're not

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Speaker 3: in your thirties or in your mid thirties or middle

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Speaker 3: to the beginning, I want to be the mid thirties.

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Speaker 3: I want to be in the mid beginning. So if

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Speaker 3: whatever you're at listening to this, whenever age you're at,

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Speaker 3: just know that as you get older, I think the

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Speaker 3: things that you avoid come up more and more and

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Speaker 3: more and more, and so if you continue to avoid them,

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Speaker 3: it's easier to avoid them as you get older because

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Speaker 3: you've mastered it. But it's also much more more important

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Speaker 3: to get over it so that you don't pollute the

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Speaker 3: rest of your life with your bullshit.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, you know.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to look up this quote that my girl Melanie,

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Speaker 1: So Melanie Fiona. If you don't follow her, you should,

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Speaker 1: because she was actually a guest on our show. I

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Speaker 1: think it was like two years ago. Wow, it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: She's just fucking amazing and she's always dropping gems. And

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Speaker 1: I was looking at her Instagram the other day and

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Speaker 1: she put this quote up and it said, remember the

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Speaker 1: longer you carry something, the heavier it gets.

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Speaker 3: I saw that too, and I was like, stop fucking

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Speaker 3: talking to me like that bitch.

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Speaker 1: Over there pregnant, just talking shit to me, just fucking

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Speaker 1: mother naturing and shit. I know, No, she's so bright,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, damn, it's so true. It does

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Speaker 1: get heavier and heavier, even though we think it doesn't

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Speaker 1: matter anymore, it's not affecting us. It rears its ugly

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Speaker 1: head and even heavier way than even you expected.

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Speaker 2: So let it go, slowly, start letting the shit.

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Speaker 3: We welcome you and encourage you this month to just

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Speaker 3: take a moment to go inward and reflect six self, dissect,

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Speaker 3: be gentle with yourself. Obviously we always encourage gentle healing,

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Speaker 3: but just be honest about the people you've tracted, the

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Speaker 3: relationships you've kept, and what you've maybe done to contribute

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Speaker 3: to them. And even like the destruction of yourself, what

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Speaker 3: have you done to contribute to that?

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Speaker 2: So yes, welcome, Welcome to the time. We are going

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Speaker 2: to the first level of ourselves, Level one. Would you

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Speaker 2: like to pull the card my love?

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Speaker 3: Of course I would, Erica pre shuffled, because we all

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Speaker 3: know I'm not good at that, but I am good

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Speaker 3: at reading bitty Tara.

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Speaker 2: Today's card is the Sun. I love this deggy thoughts,

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Speaker 2: you know, hazards things.

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Speaker 3: The sun, positivity, fun, warmth, success, vitility. The sun tarot

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Speaker 3: card radiates with optimism and positivity. A large, bright sunshines

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Speaker 3: in the sky, representing the source of all life on Earth. Underneath,

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Speaker 3: four sunflowers grow tall above a brick wall, representing the

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Speaker 3: four suits of the minor Arcana and the four elements.

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Speaker 3: This tun represents success, radiance, and abundance. The sun gives

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Speaker 3: you strength and tells you no matter where you go

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Speaker 3: or what you do, your positive and radiant energy will

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Speaker 3: follow you and bring you happiness and joy. People are

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Speaker 3: drawn to you because you can always see the bright

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Speaker 3: side and bring such warmth.

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Speaker 2: Into other people's lives.

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Speaker 3: This beautiful warm energy is what will get you through

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Speaker 3: tough times and help you succeed. You're also in a

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Speaker 3: position where you can share your highest qualities and achievements

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Speaker 3: with others, radiate who you are and what you stand for.

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Speaker 3: Shine your love on those you care about. If you're

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Speaker 3: going through a difficult time, the sun brings you the

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Speaker 3: message you have been waiting for that things will get better.

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Speaker 3: Along your path, you discovered who you are and why

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Speaker 3: you're here. Because you did that work deep dissever Now

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Speaker 3: you are full of energy and zeal for the future

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Speaker 3: and can already perceive success and abundance flowing to you.

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Speaker 3: You are brooming with confidence because you know everything will

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Speaker 3: work out.

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Speaker 4: It always does. Life is good.

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Speaker 3: The sun connects you to your power base, not fear

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Speaker 3: driven equal time physical power, but the abundant inner energy

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Speaker 3: radiating through you. Right now, you sense in your solar

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Speaker 3: plexus chakra calling you to express yourself authentically and be

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Speaker 3: fully present in the world around you. You have what

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Speaker 3: others want and are being asked to radiate your energy

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Speaker 3: and your gifts out into the world in a big way.

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Speaker 3: Tap into your power and use your divine will to

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Speaker 3: express that power in positive ways.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm, I like that, beautiful.

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Speaker 3: I usually don't even read the whole thing, but that

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Speaker 3: felt very on point, so I had to kind of

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Speaker 3: read most.

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Speaker 2: Of that because I think that speaks to it as

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Speaker 2: a darling very much.

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Speaker 3: So we encourage to express your power in positive ways,

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Speaker 3: be authentic and fully present in the world.

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Speaker 2: Yes, amen, do you have an affirmation?

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Speaker 3: I stand in my power and I take up space unapologetically.

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Speaker 2: I stand in my power and I take up space unapologetic.

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Speaker 2: Shall do? We shall do? Yep? How are you? I'm good? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm good. I am beautiful. Thanks Monytail's popping. Thanks. We

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Speaker 2: went viral last month, so I figured i'd bring the heat. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: I think that works so much. I know, I hate it.

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Speaker 4: I love saying it, but I hate it so much.

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Speaker 4: I love saying it.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, so yeah, I just went viral last week.

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Speaker 3: I've only been waiting four years to say it, so

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Speaker 3: it just feels like I don't care who it's late

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Speaker 3: I'm saying it. Oh my god, I only could call

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Speaker 3: my like podcast friends and say that or I was

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Speaker 3: myself fucking ridiculous. I couldn't wait to call Orlando, like, yes,

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure we went viral. This podcast asked was like,

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Speaker 3: how many how many news.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, in the twenty four hour period, let

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Speaker 2: me let me check the number.

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Speaker 3: You only go viral twenty four hours divided by one

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Speaker 3: hundred and thirty five views.

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Speaker 2: Yep, viral verified viral. We're good? Do you look beautiful too?

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Speaker 2: How are you? I'm good. I feel energized.

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Speaker 1: I was sick last week, which was not great, but

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Speaker 1: I think I needed to just kind of just sit

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Speaker 1: my ass down and be at home.

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Speaker 2: So that was good.

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling healthy. I'm feeling rejuvenated. That's the word of

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Speaker 1: the day for me and Irine. I taught her the

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Speaker 1: word rejuvenate because we were this brand hit me up

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Speaker 1: and she was like reading the email and like refused

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Speaker 1: to let me close the email and was reading.

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Speaker 2: It and just like and I was like rejuvenate.

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Speaker 1: And then we went in the bathroom and her hair

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Speaker 1: because she's been in her dad's but the last four

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Speaker 1: days and I've been stressing out trying to get someone

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Speaker 1: over there to braid it because I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, when she comes back, it's gonna be fucking crazy.

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Speaker 2: Was it crazy? Yes?

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Speaker 1: It was literally a hard afro in the bathroom, like

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Speaker 1: solid brillo awkward. I couldn't even put like a finger

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Speaker 1: in it, like it was hard and flat. And so

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Speaker 1: we got in a shower and we put water on

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Speaker 1: it and it came back to life.

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Speaker 2: It was like a chia pet. Like now I understand

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Speaker 2: why people call me a chiipet all my life. I

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Speaker 2: love water on a curly hair. It's like a chia pet.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, shok the fuck up. And then I put

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Speaker 1: that water on my daughter's head and I was like, God,

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Speaker 1: damn right, she's a tea pet. And it did come

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Speaker 1: back to life, and I was like, baby, this is rejuvenation,

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Speaker 1: mom that I redd your hair. Say it with me,

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Speaker 1: say it again, rejuvenation. So we rejuvenated her hair. A

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Speaker 1: rejuvenated mine curls as popin some day.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, a baby like a lion A. No, Sylvia

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Speaker 2: did say I had a lot of LEO in my chart.

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Speaker 2: Oh she did. She did.

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Speaker 1: So this is me lyon assing. But yeah, I've been good.

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Speaker 1: I've been good. I've been.

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Speaker 5: Just focused on not beating myself up a lot as

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Speaker 5: much as usual, because I have a lot of negative

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Speaker 5: in her self talk that I'm working through that I

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Speaker 5: didn't realize I do.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know, but like it's so it's been

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Speaker 1: happening for so long that it's almost like a whisper

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Speaker 1: that I barely hear it, but it's like it's all

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Speaker 1: day long.

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Speaker 2: Like you're they're talking about you behind me. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: that podcast has so anywhere listens in yours. Why you're rich?

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Speaker 2: They're rich? Why why just live with the penhouse? Why

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Speaker 2: do you live?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like and then suddenly I'm having a panic attack,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, where does this panic attack come from?

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Speaker 1: No idea, I just came out of the blue and

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Speaker 1: everything's fine. So yeah, I've been like really trying to

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Speaker 1: actually elevate that voice more so that I can hear

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Speaker 1: it more often and then shut that bitch down. So

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Speaker 1: and having I've been talking to myself out loud a lot,

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Speaker 1: which is good. I mean, obviously, if you see me

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Speaker 1: on the street, I look a little psycho. I was.

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Speaker 1: I've been doing it on the street. Yeah, yeah, I've

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Speaker 1: been doing it on the street, on the street. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm in dark street corners talking about myself anyway.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so if you see Eric Fail on the street

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Speaker 2: talking to her, so don't be alarmed. Yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: So I had this reading. Me and Mila have obviously,

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Speaker 1: you guys know, we've had a lot of readings. We've

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Speaker 1: shared them on the podcast. But over the last few

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Speaker 1: months it's been kind of like there's been a lot

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Speaker 1: of I think people coming to us to do that.

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Speaker 1: But I think obviously everything for us is very much intentional,

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Speaker 1: even if you don't realize it at the time.

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Speaker 2: And my good friend.

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Speaker 1: Connected me to this intuitive channeler and she gave me

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Speaker 1: a reading, and it was so crazy because I'm a skeptic.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if any when anyone else listens, Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely a spiritual person and like I believe in

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Speaker 1: like higher powers. I believe in spirits for sure, but

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'd be like, Nitch, did I really excite I shared?

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Speaker 1: Do you this just says some shit to me, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, like specific things that only really I

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Speaker 1: would know, Like, for example, she told me that I

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Speaker 1: have a lot of healing to do around forgiving my

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Speaker 1: father and for me. I know that, but I feel

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Speaker 1: like I've done a lot of healing art least I

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Speaker 1: thought I did.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel away if everything's fine. She was like,

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Speaker 1: what happened on your sixteenth birthday?

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Speaker 2: And I was like, what she told me?

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Speaker 1: And so they did happen on my sixteenth birthday. My

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Speaker 1: dad really deeply, deeply disappointed me because he was kind

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Speaker 1: of not a great not kind of he was not

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Speaker 1: a great dad most of my life. And then around

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Speaker 1: like when I was around fifteen, he started kind of

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Speaker 1: showing up for me and wanting to be in my life,

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Speaker 1: and then like taking me to car dealerships to go

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Speaker 1: like check out cars because my sixteenth birthday was coming

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Speaker 1: up and I was going to get a car and

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Speaker 1: he was going to buy.

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Speaker 6: It for me.

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Speaker 1: That is literally like what he was portraying. Why else

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Speaker 1: would you take your daughter to car dealerships? And just backstory,

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Speaker 1: if you guys haven't listened to the episode with me

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Speaker 1: and my dad that we did at a long time ago,

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Speaker 1: or you haven't heard me talk about my relationship with him.

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Speaker 1: My dad wasn't really in my life until I was

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Speaker 1: around like four years old, and he was in and

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Speaker 1: out of my life throughout that time and just would

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Speaker 1: say he was going to show up, wouldn't show up.

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Speaker 1: Was really really disrespectful to my mom and it was

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Speaker 1: just bad. So at fifteen, when he started showing up,

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Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm ready to like accept this

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Speaker 1: from you. And then on my sixteenth birthday he called

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Speaker 1: me to wish me happy birthday. I was like, what

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Speaker 1: do you want? And I was like a car, damn.

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Speaker 1: And he was like, you're not getting a car. I

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Speaker 1: didn't get a fucking car when I was sixteen. Why

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Speaker 1: would you get a car? And I was like what.

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Speaker 1: And that was the first time where I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: you don't talk to me. I don't want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you. And I cut my dad off on that

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Speaker 1: like that was the last time I talked to him

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Speaker 1: for about two years. And it's so crazy because I

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Speaker 1: kind of like, I know that happened, but my mom

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Speaker 1: was such an amazing parent and threw me this amazing

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Speaker 1: sixteenth birthday that it kind of.

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Speaker 2: Like I kind of just shoved that down.

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Speaker 1: And when I associated my sixteenth birthday associated with that

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Speaker 1: party that she threw me, I don't really associate it

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Speaker 1: with that moment.

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Speaker 2: You surprised that I did. I did. I didn't associate

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Speaker 2: it with that age. I don't know. I knew it happened,

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Speaker 2: but I wasn't sure when, you know.

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Speaker 1: And so when she said that, I was like, oh, yeah,

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00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,639
Speaker 1: that's interesting that you would know that. And I was

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Speaker 1: told her, I was like, you know, I don't really

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Speaker 1: feel like I have a lot of like anger around

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Speaker 1: it anymore.

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Speaker 2: And she's like, you should really explore that, and I

390
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Speaker 2: was like okay.

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Speaker 1: So I called my dad and she had also said

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Speaker 1: that like this man came up on her sof on

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Speaker 1: my dad's side, that is like her like an intuitive

394
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Speaker 1: and do I know who this person is? And I

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Speaker 1: said no, because me and my dad we don't really

396
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,439
Speaker 1: talked about that kind of shit. Called my dad and

397
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Speaker 1: he was like, Oh, I know exactly who she's talking about.

398
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Speaker 1: I had a guide, a healing guide throughout my career

399
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Speaker 1: and my dad played football, and I was like, what

400
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,160
Speaker 1: my dad had a healing guy? Like what the fuck,

401
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 1: like that is not My dad is like a Christian,

402
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 1: Like I did not think he was on some healing

403
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:45,440
Speaker 1: guide shit.

404
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 2: And he was like, yeah, that's for sure him.

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00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 1: I'll tell you about that later, and she said and

406
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Speaker 1: I mentioned my sixteenth birthday and he was like, yeah,

407
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 1: I fucked that up.

408
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Speaker 2: And I was like yeah, he's like, you know, I'm

409
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 2: really sorry. There's no excuse.

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Speaker 1: You know, me and your mom got into an argument

411
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,240
Speaker 1: that day and I took it out on you, and

412
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Speaker 1: I just I couldn't get out of my way to

413
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Speaker 1: like get over it and just do what I knew

414
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 1: was the right thing to do, and I just didn't.

415
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Speaker 1: And the fact that you didn't want to talk to me,

416
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Speaker 1: I didn't know how to deal with it. So I

417
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 1: just let it happen. And like we really like he'd

418
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Speaker 1: never reached out to me, like didn't even try to

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Speaker 1: make it better.

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Speaker 2: Did you tell him, don't don't talk, don't reach out?

421
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,360
Speaker 2: I did, but like I'm I did.

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Speaker 1: So having that conversation was like I feel like really

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Speaker 1: like being the start of kind of healing that. And

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Speaker 1: so when I went home that week, for some reason,

425
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Speaker 1: I was like how I don't know. I was like

426
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Speaker 1: I my dad, like I told him. Even on that conversation,

427
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Speaker 1: I was like, Dad, I forgive you, like you're a

428
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Speaker 1: good dad like and it was really emotional the conversation

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Speaker 1: that we had.

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Speaker 2: We talked about a lot of other things.

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Speaker 1: But when I went home in the morning, I woke

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Speaker 1: up and I was like, I want to go for

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Speaker 1: a walk, and so I started walking and then I

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Speaker 1: just was like, I feel like I didn't talk and

435
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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna talk to my dad like,

436
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 1: but not to my dad, just like out loud. And

437
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Speaker 1: so I just started walking and like saying like, Dad,

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Speaker 1: I forgive you, Dad.

439
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 2: I forgive you for not showing up for me. Dad.

440
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 2: I forgive you for not showing up for me on

441
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 2: my sixteenth birthday. Dad, I forgive you for.

442
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 1: Not being like there for me when like the first

443
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 1: boy broke my heart. I forgive you for not consoling

444
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,119
Speaker 1: me when like just everything that I could think of,

445
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,719
Speaker 1: and I just was fucked. By the time I hit

446
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 1: the corner, bitch, I was a fucking hysterically crying and

447
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my God, like I.

448
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 2: Have not forgiven this man.

449
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: And I've been doing that almost every day, if not

450
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 1: on walks then just while I'm washing dishes, just talking

451
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 1: to him, because.

452
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,159
Speaker 2: Yes, I could say these things to him, and I

453
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 2: have said.

454
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 1: Some of these things to him, but it would be

455
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: the excessiveness in which I need have to say it

456
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:51,239
Speaker 1: to get it out.

457
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,920
Speaker 2: He would think I'm absolutely crazy, like bitch.

458
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,879
Speaker 1: Okay, I guess, but I will say like that, I

459
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 1: don't know where the inspiration came to, like you this tool,

460
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 1: but it has been like deeply healing for me, and

461
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 1: I really feel like, wow, I really am forgiving him

462
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: And yeah, so that's been like really cool lately.

463
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: That's amazing.

464
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that you can agree that one of

465
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 3: the things I've learned just through podcasting, which neither one

466
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 3: of us were expecting, were like the power to say

467
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 3: things out loud, the power.

468
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 2: To just say it out loud, even to.

469
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 3: Nobody you know, or to somebody, or just in general,

470
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 3: just like the working of getting out because like words

471
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 3: are spells, and even our thoughts are spells, but we

472
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 3: are so like there's happening so like so quickly, and

473
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,199
Speaker 3: on a subconscious level, we're not as aware of them.

474
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 3: But when we put attention into the things that we're

475
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 3: saying and actually getting them out and releasing them.

476
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 2: I think it makes such a difference. So it does.

477
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 2: And like on that walk, every time.

478
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,199
Speaker 1: I hit that corner, because there's a specific corner that

479
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: the first time I broke down, I still break down there.

480
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,400
Speaker 1: And I'm like, when I know that I've like hit

481
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: the next level when I can turn that corner, I'm

482
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 1: not crying yet for.

483
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 2: Real, Like so I'm like, that's your measurement. Yeah, a corner.

484
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 2: It is like a home run. So it's been good.

485
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: And I think like I've realized that, like I have

486
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: a lot of forgiving to do for the men, some

487
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 1: of the men in my life. And I realized that

488
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 1: how how I've treated some of the men in my

489
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,679
Speaker 1: life because of my relationship with my dad, and I've

490
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,399
Speaker 1: shared that with you like that, I feel like sometimes

491
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: I can treat men as very like disposable to me,

492
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: like if you don't add up to what I'm looking for,

493
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: then like anyway whatever, or like I can be dismissive

494
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: and I don't even I don't even mean to be.

495
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:41,360
Speaker 2: It's just like subconsciously I do it. And specifically with.

496
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 1: This one person that I was talking to over FaceTime

497
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 1: for like a few months, he went to New York,

498
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 1: and he came and met up with us, and the

499
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 1: way I handled the situation, like I didn't think, granted,

500
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 1: this person is not my person, right, but like I

501
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: did not like the way I handled that situation, and

502
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,959
Speaker 1: it like deeply affected me. And he has not contacted

503
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 1: it even after like I tried to like say sorry,

504
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: and like he.

505
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 2: He did it, and I was like damn, like okay,

506
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 2: that was my lesson.

507
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,680
Speaker 3: I mean, we meet all different types of people on

508
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 3: our journeys for all different types of reasons, and you

509
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 3: just have to be clear enough and open enough to

510
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 3: like understand that like every little thing, every little person,

511
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 3: every little small relationship, there's probably lesson in how like

512
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 3: with yourself, if you're willing to examine yourself, which I

513
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 3: thought you'd refine.

514
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 2: I don't care what we could.

515
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 3: I love you, but I think there are little lessons,

516
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,399
Speaker 3: you know, along the way that we have to be

517
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 3: able to like observe and like look at ourselves. And

518
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 3: did I deal with that properly? And also I did

519
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 3: and let it go and be fine with that too.

520
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 3: And even if you know you didn't let it, accept it,

521
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 3: like acknowledge it and also let that shit go too,

522
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: because I hold on to shit, Like damn I did that.

523
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 2: Oh God, that's so terrible. Why I do that?

524
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 4: I feel so bad And I'm like, bitch, why do

525
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 4: you still care?

526
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 2: You know, like that that those type of things too.

527
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 3: It's so interesting Like listening to you, even when you

528
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 3: were first telling me of experience with that that healer,

529
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 3: I started to think about my childhood and like my

530
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 3: sixteenth birthday, just because you said it, you know, and

531
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't remember. I literally can't remember.

532
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 3: There's so many things I can't remember. Like I just remember.

533
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,959
Speaker 3: I mean, I remember some things here and there, but

534
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: like it would take me a really lot of focus

535
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 3: and concentration to like get to those places. And it

536
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 3: made me think, like why, I've read something on the

537
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 3: internet once about like it's not sometimes it's not that

538
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,159
Speaker 3: your childhood was so long ago and you can't remember.

539
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 3: It's that you've suppressed those those memories because they're triggering.

540
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 3: And when you do that in a childhood age, like

541
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 3: it just becomes you just believe it's a distant memory

542
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 3: and that's why you can't remember. But I know, I'm

543
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 3: a master at suppressing feelings. And then like writing shit off,

544
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 3: but I haven't. I haven't really really dealt with that yet,

545
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 3: and like I know it's coming up. And like, I

546
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 3: went to therapy last week because Erica probably put.

547
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 2: Some pressure on me. I did not know you did it.

548
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: You just like said, Actually it was after one of

549
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 1: my walks around the block and I was like, I

550
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 1: need to I need to push I need to just

551
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: do a little gentle, little nudge to my.

552
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 2: Friend because I know that you're like on the edge

553
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 2: of like might you do this shit or I'm not

554
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 2: going to do this shit. And I was like, let

555
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 2: me just like remind her.

556
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 1: Maybe she forgot, let me just remind her that she's

557
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: available to Yeah.

558
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 3: So she reminded me. I made the appointment. I went,

559
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 3: and you know like those first two sessions or four whatever,

560
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 3: that those intro sessions to a fucking new therapist are

561
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 3: literally like a.

562
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 2: Date from tender, like this is my name.

563
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 3: But I'm like so eager to just get down to

564
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 3: the ship. I'm like, let me tell you, let me

565
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 3: tell what happened, let me have it. I remember, this

566
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 3: is childishit this and I remember I was just telling

567
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 3: her like I am, and I think we both are,

568
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 3: and I've probably said before I am so I'd like

569
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 3: to say I'm pretty self aware and I'm pretty rational.

570
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 2: So a lot of.

571
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 3: Times I'm like, yeah, this happened. I'm good though, you know,

572
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 3: but I'm so programmed to be like I'm good though.

573
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 3: I'm good, Like I'm almost like if something seems too

574
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 3: much to deal with, I can seriously just bypass it

575
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 3: with positivity or you know, like brush over it because

576
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 3: life goes on. And I'm just afraid that maybe there

577
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,959
Speaker 3: are things that are super deeply hidden down inside of

578
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: me that I haven't dealt with, and so like I'm

579
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 3: just like ready to tackle them. A couple of months ago,

580
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 3: I was telling Eric and I think I said this

581
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 3: on the podcast, that someone was triggering me, this someone

582
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 3: I was dating, and it something told me to like

583
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 3: just stop, and I was breathing and I closed my

584
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 3: eyes and I thought to myself, what about this person

585
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,679
Speaker 3: like rejecting me right now is making me feel bad?

586
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 2: What about this is making me feel sad?

587
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 1: Like?

588
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 3: What does this remind me of? What are these feelings

589
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 3: similar to? Is there's something in my childhood that feels

590
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 3: similar to this? And in my mind, I went through

591
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 3: an exercise that I've never done before, and I don't

592
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 3: know what prompted me to do it. And I started

593
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 3: to like I found myself in my childhood home, like

594
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 3: the one of the first houses.

595
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 2: We lived in.

596
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 3: I had to be like six or seven, you know,

597
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 3: like really young, and I like went through the house

598
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 3: and I found myself in the house as a child,

599
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 3: and I was just like I saw myself looking at

600
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 3: my childhood self, like feeling these similar feelings, and like

601
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 3: spoke to that person and.

602
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 2: Was just like, you know, it's okay.

603
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 3: You know, people just like saying comforting things to that person.

604
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 3: And I was like, wow, that's interesting. And I mentioned

605
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 3: it to Salome in quose to because she's like, wow,

606
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 3: that's an exercise that we like, you know what I mean,

607
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 3: like healers use for childhood trauma healing. And it's just crazy,

608
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,919
Speaker 3: like intuitively we have the ability to heal ourselves, but

609
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 3: something seemed so strange or so crazy or so dumb

610
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 3: that we ignore those urges to like kind of do that.

611
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 3: And I haven't talked to myself out loud, but I

612
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 3: think I'm going to start because even like that Mel

613
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 3: Robbins episode, really like I was so triggered that I'm like, damn,

614
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 3: this is really bothering me. How I talk to my

615
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 3: how my family and this conversation with my dad. It

616
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 3: feels so disrespectful, like I'm holding onto this. This is

617
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 3: probably something I'm harboring, you know, like crying immediately when she's.

618
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 2: Fucking just talking to us.

619
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,959
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, I might have to like look at this,

620
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 3: but just also taking the steps to forgive and do

621
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 3: the things that are uncomfortable and pick up the phone

622
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 3: and say the things. And like, I also think getting

623
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: high helps, Like I dropped that Lincoln or my family

624
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 3: chats like my grandma, my uncle, my aunt because I

625
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 3: was high.

626
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck it, listen to this, y'all. But

627
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 2: I do.

628
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 4: I'm excited about doing the work.

629
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 3: I realized that I'm really good at running from it

630
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 3: because I think I was probably in a similar space

631
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 3: last year and probably a little bit before that. I

632
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 3: went to therapy with like a hypnotherapist, and I was

633
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 3: like committed to doing it, but like things happen, Shit happens,

634
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 3: You meet niggas, you know stuff is going on, you

635
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 3: feel like you're good, and then you ignore it. But

636
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 3: like then six months, ten months twelve months later, you're still.

637
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 2: And you're still there. It's true. I mean in therapy

638
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: is expensive. H yeah, you know it can be expensive.

639
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: And but you know because I know you mentioned that

640
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: to me too, and I was like, girl, I know.

641
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 2: But also think about, like how much you.

642
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: Spend on some other dumb shit in one day that

643
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: didn't help you do shit except make you look cute

644
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: or feed your stomach, which we all know you love.

645
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: Very important, but it's worth the investment, even for the

646
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 1: most I think.

647
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: I think that people who are even the most self

648
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 2: aware need therapy the most.

649
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 6: I realize because we think we are so self aware

650
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 6: and we are, but like, okay, you've been all this

651
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 6: self aware bitch, and you still change shit. You can

652
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 6: be overly rational, well, you will rationalize yourself out of

653
00:29:59,440 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 6: your feelings.

654
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you will rationalize yourself out of feeling shit because

655
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: you're like okay, yeah, I know that happened. I'm okay,

656
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: look at me, I'm standing, I'm functioning. I want to

657
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: be better than just standing and functioning.

658
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 2: I know I was killing the therapist.

659
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 3: I was just like, yeah, I was Muslim and I

660
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 3: was like five by like a four by an older boy.

661
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 4: But like I feel fine about it.

662
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 2: She's just like, you seem fine. I'm like, hey, I am.

663
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 2: I don't think like affected me.

664
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 3: I'm like, it happened, I'm fine, But I'm like even

665
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 3: hearing myself talk like that so crazy, like bitch who

666
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 3: talks like this that I'm like letting her know that

667
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 3: it's cool. But I think maybe there's something more I

668
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 3: need to dig in because that's not what it is,

669
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 3: that's not bothering me. I'm like, there's another incident I'm

670
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 3: not clear on, you know what I mean, but like

671
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 3: I even know, like that's even how the interaction of

672
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 3: my family like just like emotions are minimal on the

673
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 3: scale of things that not like matter, but kind of well.

674
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 2: Because there's always something bigger.

675
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 1: There's always someone going through something more painful than you

676
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: or this, or and I think that's too, like how

677
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: rational people like I guess desensitize themselves and feelings. It's like, well,

678
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: it could be worse. I have that person's whole family

679
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: died in a car accident in mind's life.

680
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 3: I have a roof over my head, I have food tonight,

681
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,719
Speaker 3: I'm healthy, I'm cool. Yeah, that's a little bit how

682
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 3: I rationalize everything like there's much.

683
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: And yes, and you should have gratitude in that, and

684
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: absolutely like you should absolutely have gratitude in that. And

685
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: there are people that are like having way harder existences

686
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 1: right now than you, for sure and then me, But

687
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: that gives so little power to yourself and acknowledging like

688
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: the healing that has to happen, because it's just like

689
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: you're immediately like ignoring it. You're immediately like so I

690
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: begin it could be worse, could be worse, could be worse,

691
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: could be worse, could be worse.

692
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 3: Of course it could be worse. But like, how are

693
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 3: you feeling right now? How is that affecting you? How

694
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 3: is that doing out your spirit? Like where is it

695
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 3: like just being put away somewhere? Like that's the thing

696
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 3: with like our bodies and our spirits. It's like there's

697
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 3: no it's literally sweeping it under carpet. It's not sweeping

698
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 3: it out, You're sweeping it deep down somewhere that has

699
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 3: is storing a bunch of heart and trauma and sadness

700
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: and anger and resentment. And that's that also triggered me.

701
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 3: I know I have the ability to be fucking spiteful

702
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 3: and resentful and I'll forgive, but I will never forget,

703
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 3: and I get like, and I know that that's something

704
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 3: I have to work on. Like if you have feelings

705
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: towards your dad about like just like resent I know

706
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 3: I have feelings of resentment inside of me towards my parents,

707
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 3: towards situations that I really have to get specific and

708
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 3: talk out loud and probably like deal with to like

709
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 3: kind of work through, you know, like as an adult

710
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 3: so that I don't have to carry that.

711
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 4: But so I appreciate your tools.

712
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 3: If you see me walking around talking to myself and crying,

713
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 3: I got it from Eric.

714
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 1: I encourage everyone to do it. I mean, I'm no

715
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: therapist or anything, but I feel like, especially you know,

716
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: you saying that. You know, we've talked about how podcasting

717
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 1: has been so healing and helped us manifest. It's helped

718
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 1: us do so many things because we're saying things out

719
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: loud every day, and it's like we need to just

720
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: say things out loud, not just on the mic, but

721
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: like when I'm trying to heal something or like when

722
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: I'm trying to talk good to myself.

723
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 2: I posted something on Patreon.

724
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: The other day because I struggle with anxiety and because

725
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: of my negative self talk, and I was like I

726
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: did all I like pulled out all my tricks, like

727
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: all my all my tricks that I pulled out whenever

728
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: I feel that way, like Okay, let me take some CBD. Okay, nope, nope,

729
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 1: nope's not working on. Let me do a dance party. Okay, nope,

730
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 1: still feel fucking crazy. Okay, let me take a bath. Oh,

731
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: let me masturbate. Like I literally did every fucking thing

732
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: I could do, and I was like, why is this

733
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: not working?

734
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 2: And so finally I just like.

735
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: Laid on my bed and I was like, what is it?

736
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 2: What is it that I feel like has to get done?

737
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 2: I feel like something needs me, something needs me.

738
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,719
Speaker 1: And it's like, you know, as parents and as mothers,

739
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: we are constantly needed.

740
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 2: You know, mommy, I want this, Mommy, I let that, Mommy,

741
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 2: can I do this? Y? You do that? School?

742
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: Hey you didn't do this, you didn't do that? We

743
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 1: need this, squark, you need that? Hey do the deadline?

744
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: Your parents?

745
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 2: Hey, you're not gonna come to Are you gonna come?

746
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 2: Are you gonna bring the kids. It's like everything is

747
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 2: like something needs me, something needs to get done.

748
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 4: So when things don't really need you, you still feel.

749
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: You're like you're running on this like wheel of like

750
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: something needs me, something needs me.

751
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 2: It's like hard to not do shit, even like work.

752
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, oh my god, we got a post.

753
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, bitch, no one's waiting for the post because

754
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 1: I don't even know the post exists, Like no one's

755
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 1: waiting for the fucking post.

756
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god. So I'm sitting on

757
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 2: the bed and I'm like, nobody needs you, nobody fucking

758
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: needs you right now.

759
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 1: And like out of contacts, that can sound really fucked up,

760
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 1: like nobody needs you, bitch, but like it really like

761
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: I was like I just kept saying it over right

762
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,399
Speaker 1: over again, like nobody needs you.

763
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:56,760
Speaker 2: No one needs you, Erica except you. You need you, bitch,

764
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,479
Speaker 2: you need you. To calm the fuck down.

765
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 3: I tell myself, everything's okay, everything's fine, it's okay not

766
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 3: to think about it's okay that you haven't done that.

767
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,439
Speaker 3: It's okay not to think about anything. Actually sit down

768
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 3: and don't think about shit. Breathe for sure.

769
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: I mean I think that for me, those words though,

770
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: like really helped me because those I think those are

771
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 1: the words.

772
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,720
Speaker 2: I couldn't find the words.

773
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: To put into the feeling that I was feeling, and

774
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 1: I realized it was the need somebody needs me. And

775
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 1: when I said no one needed me over and over

776
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: and over again, I literally felt my body like.

777
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 2: Loosen and like decompressed, and I was like, oh my god.

778
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 2: And then I went I was like, okay, how'd we

779
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 2: get a massage?

780
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: And I did that and that massage is kind of whack,

781
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's besides the point.

782
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: But it really really helped me.

783
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:47,399
Speaker 1: And I think, like, not only that is like what

784
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: I also helped too to for me is like I

785
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: started to record myself talking good to myself and listening

786
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 1: back to it, because talking, like a lot of inner

787
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 1: self positive talk happens in our head and that's great

788
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: and that's wonderful and if that were for you, woahoo.

789
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 1: For me, I realize I really need to hear myself

790
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: talk good to myself. Like people say things to me

791
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 1: all the time, but are nice, You're so beautiful, you're

792
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:11,760
Speaker 1: so smart.

793
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 2: I look at these things you're doing. That's great, but like,

794
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 2: what about how I feel about me? And do you

795
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 2: believe it? Like everyone can tell you how great you are?

796
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 2: But if you don't believe it, yeah, it doesn't matter.

797
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like it's all like even talking about

798
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: it, it feels like a little bit it's vain and self surveying,

799
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 1: but like it's helps. It helps, like to hear yourself

800
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: talk good to yourself, not just in your head, like

801
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 1: take out your phone, hit that fucking record button and

802
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 1: say some nice shit to yourself.

803
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 3: I know, because I'll do it, like to counteract anxiety

804
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:41,879
Speaker 3: in my head on my own.

805
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 4: But it's true, like to say it out loud, it does.

806
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 3: Seem absurd and like fain, even when I'm talking to

807
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 3: other people and I say like good things about like

808
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 3: things I'm proud of about myself, Oh my God, share

809
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 3: the fuck up. But like I got high the other

810
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 3: day amongst the time where I was feeling so anxious

811
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 3: and like just like I couldn't sit still, I couldn't

812
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 3: not think, And I I told you I was thinking,

813
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 3: like I had this thought about like people put pour

814
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 3: so much like grace into God, like thank you God,

815
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 3: praise Jesus or whatever the prayers say, and I was like,

816
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 3: what if I internalized that light, you know, like I

817
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,280
Speaker 3: am an extension of God I'm an extension of spirit.

818
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 3: I'm an extension of the existence of everything. I'm a woman,

819
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 3: I'm the universe. And I was just like giving myself

820
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 3: that grace, like I turned that outward. What would death

821
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 3: like usually be that outward praise of this like distant

822
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 3: like spirit guide into myself and I was like, Wow,

823
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 3: You're so amazing, and the things you're capable of are extensive,

824
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 3: and like the way you care for your child and

825
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 3: the mother that you are, and the way that you

826
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 3: show up and like the grace that you radiate on

827
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 3: other people. And I started to feel myself feel better.

828
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,240
Speaker 3: And I started to feel myself like the tension release

829
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 3: and then I relax my jaw and I relax my

830
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 3: eyes and my neck and I just sat in it

831
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 3: and I started to feel emotional, like I started to cry.

832
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 4: I was also high and alone and like it just

833
00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 4: like I was.

834
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 3: Just like wow, I the shifting of asking for something,

835
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 3: giving out the energy or putting it out and just

836
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 3: like putting it back into myself, like turning that same

837
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 3: energy and that same like love of unconditional love and

838
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 3: like awe and to myself. That like starts to make

839
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 3: me feel aligned with being an extension of spirit.

840
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 1: You know, Oh absolutely, I think that it's really important.

841
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: Would you be open to sharing how you would talk

842
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: positive to yourself? You're so annoying, I'll go it too.

843
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 3: Okay, Wow, Jamila, you're so amazing and intelligent.

844
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 2: You have such positive energy. You shed so much light

845
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: on other people.

846
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 3: And you are a good friend and a good mom

847
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 3: and a great listener. You think about people, you think

848
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 3: about how they're doing. You're a great cook, and you're

849
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 3: a great decorator. And I like the way you dance.

850
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 4: Work on that a little more, but that, Yeah, it's

851
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 4: me on the spot.

852
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good start. It's good start, Erica. You

853
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: get up every single day and you try your best.

854
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: Even if you don't finish everything. Who the fuck cares

855
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: because you got up and you did it. Your daughter

856
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: loves you and everyone tells you how amazing she is,

857
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:20,919
Speaker 1: and that is a direct reflection of you. You are

858
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: beautiful inside and out. Your hair is a fucking bomb.

859
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: Whether it's short or long. Guess what you can it

860
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: can take many different shapes and bitch your motherfucking chameleon.

861
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 1: Not only that, your booty is bay and bitch yep,

862
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 1: And that pussy is strong, maybe even doing them keegels

863
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 1: and all the niggas. No, and they don't even get

864
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 1: to feel it all the time. God, if only they knew, bitch.

865
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,399
Speaker 1: And you know you haven't found your partner, but he's

866
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,479
Speaker 1: on the way, because when he meets you, you're gonna

867
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 1: be ready because you've done all this amazing work. And

868
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,839
Speaker 1: even though you didn't complete all the projects, you send

869
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,720
Speaker 1: forty five fucking emails today.

870
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: How much more do you want from yourself?

871
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 1: You woke up, you got your her dress, you did

872
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 1: her hair, you got you dressed, you wiped your ass,

873
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 1: you fed her breakfast, You sent the emails, You hit

874
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,760
Speaker 1: up May, you hit up David, you hit up Jamila,

875
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: You bothered everyone, You made sure everyone knew that you

876
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 1: knew that they needed to do what they needed to do.

877
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 2: And somehow you still found a little extra time to

878
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 2: do something for yourself. You're the bomb, bitch. You're the

879
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,360
Speaker 2: bomb bitch, Amen Emien.

880
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a little bit of how like the

881
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: self talk thing that I've been doing is like it's

882
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 1: not like.

883
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 2: And like it's not like, and you are so important

884
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 2: and like, no.

885
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: Bitch, yeah you want that, bitch, bitch, Okay, shut the

886
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 1: fuck up. Like literally, I was like in the middle

887
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 1: of like talking bad to myself, and I was like.

888
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: No, we're not doing that right now. No, we're not.

889
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 2: Absolutely fucking That's.

890
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 3: Almost like you have to check yourself as if you

891
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: found a bitch talking about your friend.

892
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what the fuck are you talking to bitch? Exactly?

893
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 3: You're not talking about my friend like that. Hell no,

894
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:59,240
Speaker 3: the fuck up, bitch. You don't know what the fuck

895
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 3: you're talking. Like literally, yeah, that's how it was. And

896
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm absolutely nuts. If someone was in here,

897
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 3: they would think I'm crazy. No, but it's necessary I

898
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 3: had to do. I feel you like, I was like,

899
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 3: you started at nothing. You have almost two hundred episodes.

900
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 3: You are number one top one percent podcasts in the

901
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 3: world that didn't happen overnight for no reason.

902
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: You made art for every single episode. Every episode has art.

903
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 2: You are a graphic designer, bitch, you make fashions, you said.

904
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 2: I was literally like, we have merch. We sent out merch.

905
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 2: We are designers of a fashion.

906
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 1: Life, and we somehow sent it out, not always the time,

907
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 1: but who cares. The tribe understands we're moms. We're trying

908
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: our best. It's not a good commercial for our shop.

909
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:53,439
Speaker 1: We hired someone so order from our shit. But you're

910
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 1: inspiring women.

911
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm so grateful too for our community. Like you

912
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:01,320
Speaker 3: don't understand sometimes, Like the other day, I was feeling

913
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 3: like someone sent like a post or whatever, a story

914
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 3: and they're like, I'm so.

915
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: Proud, like so happy with these girls. You're doing it,

916
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 2: your mom and you're killing it. Thank you, because I

917
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:13,760
Speaker 2: was not feeling that way right now.

918
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,240
Speaker 3: Like the connection amongst us is so strong, the web

919
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: of like inner inner strength, and like I don't know,

920
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 3: I just feel like I always say this, it's a revolution.

921
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 3: Women are coming together. It's a revolution for the women,

922
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 3: and we're supporting each other, we're encouraging each other, and

923
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 3: we're fucking thriving, like with children and communities, we're just

924
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 3: literally thriving. And the universe is opening up to us

925
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 3: to connect, to use each other in positive ways the

926
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 3: way that we can all get to the next level

927
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 3: and like use this time because the universe is really

928
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 3: leveling up for women and like anything you want you

929
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 3: could literally have, and it's just about reminding yourself that

930
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 3: you deserve it and talking that good shit to yourself,

931
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 3: cutting that negative talk.

932
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 2: I'm talking that good shit about other women.

933
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, and to other women that's bomb, you know, Like

934
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 4: there's no I like.

935
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 1: Not comparing your blessings to someone else's. I mean, I've

936
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 1: done that my whole life. I'm fab mean, I was

937
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 1: preconditioned to feeling like everything is a competition, you know,

938
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,439
Speaker 1: like everything's a competition. No, she has that, Why don't

939
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 1: I have that?

940
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 2: Like you know, and I.

941
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: Still feel that come up a little bit, but like

942
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 1: I feel it's silenced so much.

943
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,839
Speaker 3: It's so crazy, that competitive voice, Like the other day

944
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 3: so crazy.

945
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 2: I forgot to tell you this.

946
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 4: I was about to post for Maudibody.

947
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,959
Speaker 3: But I first it was like it's a postpartum about

948
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,959
Speaker 3: how you're feeling postpartums pictures.

949
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 2: Of me like with the baby, like Luna as a baby.

950
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 3: But before I posted it, I looked at yours, so

951
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 3: like just see what you wrote and ic Luna was

952
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 3: next to me and she's like, oh, like she said

953
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 3: something like oh that's Eric and Iri I was like, yeah,

954
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 3: it's like I'm not to post ours. She's like, I

955
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 3: hope people like it, like they like like, I hope

956
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 3: they like it, like they liked hers. I was like, what,

957
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 3: Oh my god, who I don't know, Like is this

958
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 3: just innately children?

959
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,399
Speaker 2: Like she doesn't no shit about likes. She just say

960
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 2: like how many lives did she get? But she was like,

961
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 2: oh they like ours if they like Eric and Ivies.

962
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 3: I'm like almost crying, like what the fuck is this pressure?

963
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 3: I'm like, am I is it like innately going to

964
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 3: my child? The pressure I put on myself?

965
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, am I projecting what is happening?

966
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: But it was so many things we don't have control of,

967
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: the like school, like what happens at school, the way

968
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 1: like parents are talking and teaching their children and then

969
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 1: their kids are coming up showing up at school and

970
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,240
Speaker 1: throwing their bullshit on our kids. Like it's a lot,

971
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 1: you know, there's only so much we can fucking come combat.

972
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 2: So I don't think it has.

973
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:40,359
Speaker 3: Anything to do with you, No, but I do think

974
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 3: it starts with you will be more aware of talking

975
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 3: positively to your child if you talk more positively to yourself.

976
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,799
Speaker 3: I don't talk that positive myself, and I like I

977
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 3: notice that, like I can slack and air. Louna is

978
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 3: super confident. She can't tell her shit honestly, but like

979
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 3: it reminds like I am not good at doing that,

980
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,879
Speaker 3: like in my family, in myself, like giving a lot

981
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 3: of praise to people wasn't. It's just not how we

982
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 3: communicate our love. We like kind of talk shit is love.

983
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 3: So it just like it reminds me like I have

984
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 3: to first implement it with myself and be like graceful

985
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 3: and kind to myself to remind myself to do it

986
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 3: to my daughter.

987
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 4: And so she sees me doing it to myself.

988
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,479
Speaker 3: And to her, and then when those other children come,

989
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 3: or those teachers come, or those other adults do that

990
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 3: thing where people compare and make these comments that they're

991
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 3: we're not even aware of that, she already knows like

992
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 3: I know I'm good and I can talk kindly to myself.

993
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 3: So yeah, it is just like a healing. It's a

994
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:35,840
Speaker 3: radical healing when you can love on yourself.

995
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it is important that you should does

996
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 1: see that because I remember my mom always talking shit about.

997
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,800
Speaker 2: Her body all the time.

998
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm fat oughugh, And I was looking at myself like

999
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 1: am I fat?

1000
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 2: Am? I? That is right? That's my mom? Or shit,

1001
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 2: I look like you right? So is this is something wrong?

1002
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 2: With me, like it's really yeah, it's really important.

1003
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: That even if you don't feel beautiful, just shut the

1004
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:00,879
Speaker 1: fuck up then about it.

1005
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 3: Start to try and not shut the fuck up, but

1006
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 3: notice it and then try to feel good about it.

1007
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 2: Like that, but also shut the fuck up in front

1008
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 2: of your kids about it. Just be quiet. We know

1009
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 2: your kids.

1010
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: Don't look to your kids to validate you. Do not

1011
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: wait for your children to be like, Mommy, you're not fat,

1012
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,720
Speaker 1: you're beautiful. If you do that, you're fucking your kids.

1013
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,720
Speaker 1: I'm serious. Don't do that shit like it's not cute,

1014
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 1: it's not cool. You don't need your little human to

1015
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 1: validate you. They are looking to you to validate yourself

1016
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: so that they in turn can validate themselves in a

1017
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: really genuine, authentic way, you know, And like I see

1018
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 1: parents do that.

1019
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:37,879
Speaker 2: I see people do that, and it's like.

1020
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: Ooh, and I mean I have to like maybe I

1021
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: need to analyze myself and see if I do that.

1022
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: I know that I've I've had body issues on and

1023
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: off my whole life. I really try to be conscious

1024
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: though about I don't even like when I resize the

1025
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: word fat, it really irritated.

1026
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 2: I love skinny fat both those words. I'm like, why

1027
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 2: are we using those words?

1028
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: Let's not even why are we talking about Like even

1029
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: today she was making something this. I didn't correct her

1030
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: because I I understood what you're trying to say. She's

1031
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 1: like she's cutting out a dress. She's like, I want

1032
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 1: the dress to be skinny, and she meant like tight

1033
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 1: time fitting. Yeah, but and that was fine. But I

1034
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 1: was just like, god, these words, like they're so.

1035
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 2: Yucky. You know.

1036
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean yeah, language is a bitch, but I

1037
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 4: feel you.

1038
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 3: I try to talk positive about my body in front

1039
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 3: of loo and like be naked and let her be naked,

1040
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:23,359
Speaker 3: and like.

1041
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 2: It's your house. You choose.

1042
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 3: How do you want to feel, how do you feel?

1043
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 3: What do you want to wear? You know, like I

1044
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 3: try not to. Like she was wearing afro the other

1045
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 3: day and my mom was like, oh you got your hair.

1046
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 3: Oh your hair is crazy.

1047
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 2: It was like so cute. I saw it. I saw

1048
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 2: I was cute, as I like.

1049
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 4: And then the next it's like I don't want to

1050
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 4: wear afro.

1051
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, why it's beautiful? Everyone complimented. You're like, no

1052
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 3: they didn't. I was like, yes they did, Yeah they did.

1053
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,959
Speaker 2: I heard them. I go hard with the afro affirmations.

1054
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, like Irie, I'm like, your hair is bombed this way,

1055
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,839
Speaker 1: it's amazing, Like you see my afro. Look at this shit.

1056
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 1: It's fucking great. Every time someone like compliments me, and

1057
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: like when I'm out, I'm like you see that, you

1058
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 1: see how they like my yep? Yeah killing it? Well yeah, Well.

1059
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 3: This is the beginning of Dike Deep December, and I

1060
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 3: hope you enjoyed it.

1061
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 2: I hope this makes you reflect on.

1062
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 3: Whatever wherever you're at right now, you know, and we'll

1063
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 3: be going deep.

1064
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 2: Going to go deeper, deep, deep dep I wouldn't make

1065
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 2: an appointment with that there. I mean that healer should.

1066
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 1: If you guys haven't joined our Patreon, I want to

1067
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 1: encourage you to do so, go and listen to my

1068
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: whole little mini episode where I talk about not being needed.

1069
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 2: Mila shares some stuff on there too.

1070
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: We're kind of like venturing into doing little solo solo.

1071
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 2: Episode blogs and I'm kind of enjoying it.

1072
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 1: I'm like so used to talking with you that I'm

1073
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: like when I when I recorded it by myself, I.

1074
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,720
Speaker 2: Was like, WHOA, this is weird.

1075
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 3: I you know, it's not my favorite thing. To do,

1076
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 3: but I'm working past it, so Eric it doesn't.

1077
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,879
Speaker 2: Be pissed with me. So I did it with my snake, Heather.

1078
00:48:57,120 --> 00:49:00,040
Speaker 2: I was like, come on, sure, you go home. I

1079
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 2: do it together.

1080
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:04,280
Speaker 3: Snake's like, bitch, put me back in the cage. Speaking

1081
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 3: of that fucking snake. The other day, first of all,

1082
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 3: I bought Lonna a snake because she's been asking my

1083
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 3: for her birthday.

1084
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 2: She'll be seven on Saturdays.

1085
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 3: I'm so happy she's almost a teenager. But then I

1086
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 3: was like, you know what, this is a really ad

1087
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 3: char witchy household, and we can watch it grow and

1088
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 3: shed and I can put like I can put the

1089
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 3: sheddings on the altar. So then I got it, and

1090
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 3: then it's great. Only eats a little baby mouse once

1091
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 3: a week. Anyway, she hasn't been home, so I'm just

1092
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:34,760
Speaker 3: waking up, you know, living my best life.

1093
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 2: Went to go pee. I look the fuck over into.

1094
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,880
Speaker 3: The bathtub and there's a snake in the bathtub, and

1095
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, that looks a lot like Heather.

1096
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 2: What a fuck is Heather?

1097
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 3: First wile he's a heat in the bathtub.

1098
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 7: I literally went my head. I was like, that snake

1099
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 7: is in the bathtub. Oh no, and I was like,

1100
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 7: that's my snake. I was pissed. I don't know you

1101
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 7: text me. I was so she was so pitch or

1102
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 7: text and even makes sense. She texted me like I

1103
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 7: woke up to pee and I was like, so, someone

1104
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 7: peeding your bed. No, bitch, Heather's in the bathtub. I'm like,

1105
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 7: so you peede on yourself and Heather's in the bathtub.

1106
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 2: No. I was like, I don't know what you're trying

1107
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 2: to tell. Then I want to get headed out of

1108
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 2: the bathtub.

1109
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,240
Speaker 3: The bitch was snapping at me like she was supposed

1110
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 3: to be.

1111
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,319
Speaker 2: He was supposed to be the bathtub. I don't know

1112
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 2: why she snaps. He he snaps.

1113
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:26,479
Speaker 3: Heather is a he Sorry Luda is specific about Heather

1114
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 3: being a heat.

1115
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 2: Okay, got it. He is a heat.

1116
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 3: But yeah, he can he can bite you. Okay, he

1117
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 3: doesn't have sharp teeth. He did it, but I could

1118
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 3: just see him like, I was like, you, motherfucker, I

1119
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 3: fed you anyway, the motherfuckers like I didn't go down

1120
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 3: the bathtub.

1121
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 4: Draya, and then I had to replace him by Saturday.

1122
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 2: I'm pissed anyway.

1123
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 1: Well, thanks for getting Luna a fucking snake because now

1124
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,320
Speaker 1: Irie wants a goddamn snake and that's not happening.

1125
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 2: You want up her witchiness, Witchy has so I don't

1126
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 2: do creatures. I don't do animals in my home.

1127
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: I just my dog just died a few weeks and

1128
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 1: Hans ago a few months ago.

1129
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,839
Speaker 2: And I'm really enjoying not having to like take care

1130
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 2: of shit. Really low maintenance, he is. Really, I don't

1131
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 2: want to have.

1132
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 1: To defrost a little baby fucking mouse in my pot

1133
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 1: that I cook.

1134
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 4: I didn't do it in my pot, bitch.

1135
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,319
Speaker 3: You take some hot water, you put it in, you

1136
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 3: can just run it under hot water on you hold it.

1137
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 2: I don't want to do any of that.

1138
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 4: You see it coming back to life like hairs start

1139
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 4: to like and it's.

1140
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,719
Speaker 2: Like I told her to ask her dad. Yeah, well

1141
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 2: that snake's going to die.

1142
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 3: If you get a snake and I get a snake,

1143
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,479
Speaker 3: we could do like so many witchy rituals together.

1144
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 2: I'll come over. We can do it. Okay, fine, I'm

1145
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 2: a snake mom. Now hashtag snake mom. I don't have

1146
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 2: to use that. Oh shout out to Roger.

1147
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,960
Speaker 3: He psychologists said he has two corn snakes at they're

1148
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,879
Speaker 3: seventeen years old and they're they're like four feet each,

1149
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 3: So I really am you've made I know I'm a

1150
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 3: fucking twenty I'm gonna have a twenty year old snake soon. Anyway,

1151
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 3: thank you guys for listening. We appreciate you, we.

1152
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 4: Love you, and I'm.

1153
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 3: So grateful for this community. I hope to mingle with

1154
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 3: you guys in Costa Rica. We're almost sold out. If

1155
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 3: you have not, go get your niggas depending on your trip,

1156
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 3: because it's gonna be bomb. We're going to be manifesting.

1157
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 3: I won't bring Heather the Snake, don't worry. And also listen,

1158
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 3: I hope for our talks on Patreon.

1159
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 4: Erica is doing her self talk. I'm going to try

1160
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 4: and do some self.

1161
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,360
Speaker 3: Talk and we're going to walk you through our childhood

1162
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,240
Speaker 3: healing trauma because we're therapist.

1163
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 2: We'll also make sure to go follow us on Twitter.

1164
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 2: I know we never really.

1165
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,360
Speaker 1: Advertised on Twitter, but apparently we're popping over there a

1166
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 1: little bit, tiny bit, well tiny pop pop.

1167
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:41,720
Speaker 2: We went viral on Twitter.

1168
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 1: We did, I don't even know. I was like, what

1169
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 1: what are we doing on virl?

1170
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 2: What? And all my friends are on Twitter, like look

1171
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 2: at this, I was like, what does this mean? I

1172
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,839
Speaker 2: don't know a good girl, Good Mom underscore bad Girl.

1173
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 1: Follow us on TikTok Good Mom's Bad Choice because I

1174
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 1: guess the s was taken.

1175
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 2: I don't fucking know. And Patreon.

1176
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 1: If you do try to search us on Patreon, you

1177
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 1: actually have to like either click the link in this

1178
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: episode description or go to patreon dot com backslash Good

1179
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 1: Mom's Bad Choices because they be blocking sexy moms.

1180
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:14,720
Speaker 3: So also, if you haven't, go listen to our episode

1181
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 3: last week with sur Marvelous.

1182
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 2: Yes I see this popping on the fire stick kind

1183
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 2: of though there was Oh my god, that he's amazing.

1184
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 2: He's amazing. I shout out to him. All right, we'll

1185
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 2: catch you guys on SUPERSTI