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Speaker 1: Speaks to the planning.

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Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne the God and

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Speaker 2: guess what I can't wait to see y'all at the

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Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming

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Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman

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Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions

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Speaker 2: May Be Be and Weezy.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: We got the R and B Money podcast with taking

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Speaker 2: Jay Valentine. We got the Women of All Podcasts with

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Speaker 2: Saray Jake Roberts, we got Good Moms, Bad Choices. Carrie

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Speaker 2: Champion will be there with her next sports podcast and

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Speaker 2: the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced. And

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Speaker 2: of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black

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Speaker 2: Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses plus the food truck

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Speaker 2: court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right, listen,

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Speaker 2: you don't want to miss this. Tappen and grab your

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Speaker 2: tickets now at Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival Atlanta.

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Speaker 3: Guess what the good Moms are coming to your city

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Speaker 3: on April twenty six, We're pulling up at the Black

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Speaker 3: Effect Podcast Festival.

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Speaker 4: That's right, We'll be hitting the stage with other hot

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Speaker 4: podcasts like R and B, Money Trap Nerds, Naked Sports,

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Speaker 4: and Sarah Jakes.

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Speaker 3: And if you've ever been to a Good Mom's Bad

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Speaker 3: Choices show.

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Speaker 1: You know it gets real, real bad, and we.

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Speaker 3: Have some special guests. So I'm so excited to meet

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Speaker 3: our Atlanta tribe. Make sure you pull up April twenty

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Speaker 3: six to the Black Effect Podcast Festival and get your

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Speaker 3: tickets at Black Effect dot com Slash Podcast Festival.

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Speaker 1: See you there.

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Speaker 5: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

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Speaker 5: She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the

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Speaker 5: man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.

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Speaker 5: She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was

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Speaker 5: a good woman who always made good choices.

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Speaker 1: That shit off, we're good Mom's Bad Choices. Who's single mom?

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Speaker 4: Who said fuck the patriarchy shared all their bad choices

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Speaker 4: and sound out they were so bad after all, we're

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Speaker 4: expert Overshares and your new bestie Sit back and hear

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Speaker 4: the ride.

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Speaker 1: I can do a pat.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 3: I'm Meila.

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Speaker 4: And it's Wednesday, bitch, Happy hump day, y'all.

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Speaker 3: What's going on hump Day.

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Speaker 1: Nothing, I feel good. I forgot my makeup today. I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling good today. But we figured with my bay.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, and he.

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Speaker 1: Love the way I six. Sorry. Woa. Glorilla just came

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Speaker 1: over me like the holy ghost.

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Speaker 4: I really want, you know, speaking of Glorilla side note,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna answer how I'm doing today, but I really

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Speaker 4: want her to win.

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Speaker 1: I love Glorilla so much.

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Speaker 3: I don't even I listened to her album and she

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Speaker 3: had Kirk Franklin and she was talking God, she was

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Speaker 3: she really incorporated God.

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Speaker 4: Really versatility. I like that, and I just she just

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Speaker 4: seems joyful. I want to be her friend, Glorilla. If

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Speaker 4: you're listening or you know, Glorilla, can you have her

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Speaker 4: call us because we want to hang out and I

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Speaker 4: just want to a cappella sing outside.

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Speaker 1: Went my bay.

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Speaker 4: He gone. Gotta love Globerala so much and I keep

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Speaker 4: missing her by a hair. She was at Ashley's Ashley

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Speaker 4: Model Experience. I couldn't go. She's going to be at

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Speaker 4: Tuskeegee homecoming. I'm not going to be able to. Why

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Speaker 4: aren't you're going to there? It's going She's going like

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Speaker 4: a day early the day after I don't think.

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Speaker 1: She'll still be there the next day partying. I'm gonna marry.

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Speaker 4: Hey, Gloria, hallelujah, Helleluiah. I don't think she has any time.

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Speaker 4: She's booked and busy. She's like the ship right now.

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Speaker 4: She's number one in her field.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, anyway, how are you doing. I'm doing great.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing great.

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Speaker 3: I don't have no Mascar on, which is really fucking

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Speaker 3: with my my my self confidence. It's fan security, no messca.

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Speaker 3: But you know, we're going for it. We're going full

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Speaker 3: leash keys today.

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Speaker 4: This is a new season and we're just embracing our

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Speaker 4: naturalness and we're just you know, Mila said.

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Speaker 1: Are we going to start like wearing no makeup? But

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Speaker 1: I was like, absolutely not.

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Speaker 4: Although there was a time, no, you said that and

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Speaker 4: I said absolutely no, No you did.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you also said that. No you said that today

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Speaker 3: right now, yeah, and then you said no and then

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Speaker 3: I said no. But there was a time remember one

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Speaker 3: an episode when you said I was being a bitch

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Speaker 3: when I was trying to talk about how it wasn't

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Speaker 3: wearing makeup that day, and then you were like you

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Speaker 3: would have bitched me all month, And I was.

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Speaker 4: Like whoa ah that time we got into fight live

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Speaker 4: on camera.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you caught me off guard and couldn't tell

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Speaker 3: me off camera because you'd love to share everything on

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Speaker 3: the podcast is where you feel most safe to share

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Speaker 3: all your deep secrets about me.

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Speaker 4: Are you bashing me? Or it's just the way of

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Speaker 4: the way. I you ask, Orlando, you do a timpto,

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Speaker 4: I know it?

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Speaker 1: Whoa? Now how long you've been holding onto this.

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Speaker 3: Since I had no makeup on that day and all

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Speaker 3: I wanted to do was talk about my no makeup

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Speaker 3: fucking Wednesday and you decided to bash me publicly.

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Speaker 4: Okay, well, let's do podcasting, the bitch says. And then

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Speaker 4: we're podcasting, and then I get comfortable podcasting, and then

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Speaker 4: I'd be honest when I'm podcasting. And then it's too much.

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Speaker 4: You know, woman can never do just do enough. It's

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Speaker 4: always too much or too little. Oh well, I apologize

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Speaker 4: for saying I forgave you a long time ago you

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Speaker 4: look pretty without makeup. Sorry for calling you out that day.

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Speaker 4: In the podcast, it is where I feel most comfortable.

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Speaker 4: And Orlando has gotten some pretty heavy confessions on camera.

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Speaker 4: But this is the this is the safety space that

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Speaker 4: you've created friends. So here we are.

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Speaker 1: How are you? I'm great, I'm good. I'm just you know, chilling.

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Speaker 4: I've been trying to really combat my thirty years, like

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Speaker 4: thirty five plus years old, because I'm always tired, I

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Speaker 4: feel like and I always I can't focus, and I'm

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Speaker 4: overstimulated and anxious a lot. And I used to think

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Speaker 4: people were just bullshitting and they're like, I have anxiety,

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Speaker 4: you know, like these kids are always talking about anxiety,

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Speaker 4: But now.

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Speaker 1: I have anxiety.

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Speaker 4: And so I've just been trying to work on like

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Speaker 4: being more zen and drinking more tea that reflects like

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Speaker 4: a zen bitch.

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Speaker 3: How's the parasite cleans going, because apparently that can also

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Speaker 3: contribute to your overall anxiousness and wellbeingness. Well, honestly, I'm

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Speaker 3: only like on day five, okay, so hopefully're getting the

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Speaker 3: fuck out of there.

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Speaker 1: You haven' shot any worms out yet?

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Speaker 6: No.

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Speaker 4: I did look a few times, but I'm too scared

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Speaker 4: to like a deep dive. But also, what are you

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Speaker 4: talking about worms, parasites, being tired, anxiety? Damn, I'm not

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Speaker 4: even high. I don't know how I forgot that already.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, for no, okay.

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Speaker 3: Uh well, anyway, y'all, we have a special guest today.

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Speaker 1: This is a guest that.

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Speaker 3: We've wanted to have on the show for a while now.

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Speaker 3: We've had a few guys, a few of you guys

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Speaker 3: send us her reels, her content, her music videos, and

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Speaker 3: I'm really excited to introduce to the show. Author host

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Speaker 3: of Your High Highest Self podcast.

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Speaker 1: And Yarma coach Sahara Rose for having overall that bitch

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Speaker 1: c My body is an altar. I love it. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to know what we were thinking about doing.

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Speaker 3: I was like, what if we like, what if we

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Speaker 3: make our bodies the altar? And like we lay down?

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Speaker 3: And then we asked her, like, how do we make

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Speaker 3: our bodies alter? Like we put candles on them? Maybe

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Speaker 3: we put candle in our mouth.

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Speaker 1: We can still do that.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if I can put my mouth around them,

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Speaker 4: but we could try. You just see some snakes faith

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Speaker 4: that you can put your mouth around many things. Wait,

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Speaker 4: wait what you said.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I can put my mouth around it.

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Speaker 4: A glass candle, I don't know, but street wax, this

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Speaker 4: is not related to anything.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I'm gonna wait, I'm gonna wait, why

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Speaker 1: are we waiting go for it because it's the same space.

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Speaker 4: This is literally not really anything we're talking about.

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Speaker 1: Except my mouth going on things. But breaking news. You guys,

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Speaker 1: this is so hard.

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Speaker 4: I hate to interrupt your introduction with this, but this

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Speaker 4: is very important. I don't know if I told you this,

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Speaker 4: but Orlando, my partner has never I used to hate

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Speaker 4: saying partner because it sounds like I'm lesbian, But my

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Speaker 4: boyfriend has never come from head. But guess what, guys,

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Speaker 4: guess what, after three years, after his whole life thirty

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Speaker 4: three years plus three years of me being with him,

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Speaker 4: he finally came from head from me. So I'm the

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Speaker 4: only one in history in his whole life of existence.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, yes, this gives me the tartle.

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Speaker 4: What did Is there something special that happened? Like was

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Speaker 4: there a preparation? Did you I do like some No,

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Speaker 4: like no elemental meditations before just having some We're having

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Speaker 4: some sexy time and.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, he's giving you an automus approval. This is

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Speaker 1: going on. He's like, that's why, that's my girl.

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Speaker 4: And honestly, I was like in a certain position and

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Speaker 4: like I can't feel I'm getting into it. And usually

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Speaker 4: I'm honestly, I'm kind of a lazy headgiver. I'm not

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Speaker 4: even gonna lie, like you have to push my head down.

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Speaker 4: My body won't let me choke automatically.

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Speaker 1: I just won't do it.

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Speaker 4: I'll just be like a nice little right here, and

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Speaker 4: you have to just really manually do it. But not manually.

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Speaker 4: You haven't manually choke me or I'm not gonna do

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Speaker 4: it myself. But this time I felt like the I

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Speaker 4: felt the energy and I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 4: I was like, should I stop? My jaw started hurt,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, you know what, he doesn't even

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Speaker 4: know if he can come from head because he's never

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Speaker 4: done it. So then I started gett competitive in my

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Speaker 4: head and I was like, oh yeah, And then I

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Speaker 4: start getting tired, and I was like, no, we're going

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Speaker 4: to do this is the this is the inner dialogue

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Speaker 4: of a conflict, of a conflicted how and I was

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Speaker 4: really going for it. And then he was like, don't stop,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, I'm not gonna I'm gonna get this.

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Speaker 4: This is gonna happen. I'm gonna crack the code today.

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Speaker 4: And then there win expelled right in my mouth, in

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Speaker 4: my throat and I was like, oooh yeah.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that's what you did exactly. Yeah right after that,

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Speaker 1: and I was like oooh.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, congratulations, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Orlando was like I need a minute to process. I

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Speaker 1: was like, you process it, you take a picture. God

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Speaker 1: damn it. He has a whole new identity now.

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Speaker 7: I identified as someone who could not come from Head,

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Speaker 7: and now he has to like reframe everything from.

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Speaker 1: Everything, changed everything. Oh my god, you got to.

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Speaker 4: Change your pronouns now, baby come comes, he comes from Head.

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Speaker 1: I need him to put this in his bio. It's

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Speaker 1: very important. It comes from Head, but only with Mela.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I was out.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, we're talking about getting engaged and ship.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like it's gone now. I mean.

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Speaker 4: For sure, I was solidifying my role in this thing.

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Speaker 1: He worked for that ring, bitch I did.

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Speaker 7: I can't wait to like do it maybe like a

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Speaker 7: penis ring next time.

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Speaker 3: Maybe maybe instead of instead of like having like a

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Speaker 3: really sentimental thing in scripted in the ring, it means

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Speaker 3: to be like you made me come only comes from Head.

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Speaker 1: You made me come from Head.

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Speaker 4: I love Mila's head Kissed by an Angel's way more

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Speaker 4: classic than.

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Speaker 1: Anything we came up with. Thank you.

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Speaker 7: Was kissed by a rose in your mouth. It's like

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Speaker 7: the rose petals.

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Speaker 1: Immediately Steal starts to play I'm a kissed my rose.

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Speaker 1: I'm paid.

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Speaker 4: I'm putting it in my vowels as the only woman who,

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Speaker 4: in your whole entire life, has ever been able to

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Speaker 4: make your penis. I spell semen for my oral, divine,

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Speaker 4: divine mouth fillatio your I do? Okay? That was that

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Speaker 4: was That's my announcement. Is that your horri for the day.

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Speaker 4: It's a hor okay? Wow, I mean I have I

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Speaker 4: have a few. It's been a minute, but that's the

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Speaker 4: most important one. Congratulations, Thank you, Thanks for sharing.

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Speaker 7: I was very vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: Can go back to you tune back into.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Show of Two Bitches of Ady D.

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Speaker 1: That was good. That was some good too. That was

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Speaker 1: an important share. It needed to happen.

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Speaker 4: At the top of the show, talked about my mouth

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Speaker 4: on candles and I said, this is the time.

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Speaker 7: Your body was an alcer.

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Speaker 1: You did it. Thank you, Amen, Amen Sahara. Hello, Hi,

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Speaker 1: I would love to know more about you all.

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Speaker 3: I've obviously I've I've listened to your show, I've watched

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Speaker 3: you on social media.

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Speaker 1: Where are you from? Where did you come from?

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Speaker 3: You just popped up in the ig ethos and started

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Speaker 3: teaching women how to embody the divine feminine and tap

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Speaker 3: into their you know, their their self. But like, where

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Speaker 3: are you from and where did you come from? And

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Speaker 3: how did you end up in this journey cliff Notes version.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, So my family comes from Iran. My mom was

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Speaker 7: a refugee, my dad was an immigrant. They came to

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Speaker 7: the US really for like service. And so I was

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Speaker 7: born in Boston and as a kid, I was very spiritual.

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Speaker 7: I would always like see like ghosts and spirits, and

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Speaker 7: I got really into like witchcraft. And I grew up

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Speaker 7: near Salem, so I was like I was burnt at

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Speaker 7: the stake and into it. And they were like, you're crazy.

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Speaker 7: Even the teachers at school would like separate me from

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Speaker 7: the other witch girls. And so growing up it was

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Speaker 7: like kind of this like conflictedness of like I feel

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Speaker 7: all these different things that no one else is seeing,

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Speaker 7: feeling and experiencing, but I'm being like reprimanded for it.

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Speaker 7: So at home, oh very much.

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Speaker 1: So, because you grew up Muslim, or.

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Speaker 7: My family is Muslim, but we didn't really grow up religious.

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Speaker 7: So my dad was really like atheist if anything, so

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Speaker 7: it was like facts, data science.

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Speaker 1: Like my dad's mantra.

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Speaker 7: To me was like be rational, not emotional because my

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Speaker 7: dad actually grew up kind of like in Iran. It's

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Speaker 7: like you look down on women, you know, very patriarchal.

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Speaker 7: So for him, he wanted me to be safe. So

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Speaker 7: to be safe is like to not be a woman,

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Speaker 7: to be quiet. Yeah, Or for me, he's like be

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Speaker 7: like academic and like like learned to be in your

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Speaker 7: masculine basically. So I kind of like stayed away from

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Speaker 7: the spiritual things, but eventually got into yoga, which brought

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Speaker 7: me back into it. So I was practicing a lot

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Speaker 7: of yoga. Now this is in college, and I was

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Speaker 7: like a raw vegan and at that time I started

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Speaker 7: to like first have a lot of digestive issues, hormonal imbalances.

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Speaker 7: I went to get a blood test. I didn't get

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Speaker 7: my period for two years, and doctor said, my body

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Speaker 7: went into perimenopause. So they said, you like have completely

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Speaker 7: gone menopausal. You have no more estrogen or testosterol. This

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Speaker 7: is when you were twenty Yeah, when I was twenty

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Speaker 7: one years old, Oh my god. Yeah, and they're like

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Speaker 7: for sure, you're never going to have a child. Plus

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Speaker 7: you're gonna have osteoporosis and all sorts of health issues.

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Speaker 7: You know.

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Speaker 1: Oh we love the US medical system. Yeah, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: tell your whole land. Yeah, you're blood.

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Speaker 7: You have a jas pussy like I cannot have it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I get my powers.

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Speaker 7: But I was like, fucking I eat anything even stay

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Speaker 7: here exactly.

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Speaker 1: So I went on this journey.

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Speaker 7: Still is not ready for the meat, but I went

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Speaker 7: on this journey of self healing, of just learning everything

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Speaker 7: I could because they prescribe me like hormone replacement therapy

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Speaker 7: and anti depressants and all these different things. And that

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Speaker 7: brought me to Ierveda, which is the sister science of

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Speaker 7: yoga based on the mind body connection. So in Ireveda

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Speaker 7: there's these different archetypes. So my archetype vata was too

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Speaker 7: much air energy, which I feel you guys have as well.

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Speaker 7: So it's like, you're very creative, you're idealistic, you think

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Speaker 7: outside of the box, you're fast moving, you love arts,

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Speaker 7: you love visuals, you love like talking about concepts and ideas.

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Speaker 7: I'm like, yes, that's me. But on the flip side, mentally,

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Speaker 7: too much air is like like ADHD, changing your mind

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Speaker 7: really quickly, not knowing exactly what you want, like feeling anxious,

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Speaker 7: insomnia now in the body, too much air in the body.

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Speaker 7: So if I told you, like, oh, I feel like

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Speaker 7: I have a lot of air in my body, what

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Speaker 7: would you think that means? Symptoms?

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Speaker 3: Gas, gaseous belching, bloating.

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Speaker 7: Exactly, gas like literal air in the stomach, bloating, cold

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Speaker 7: like cold hands, dry skin, low hormones. So when I

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Speaker 7: read about this, I was like, not only is all

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Speaker 7: my health challenges, but it's like my personality, like in

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Speaker 7: one thing, and I need to know everything about it.

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Speaker 7: So I started studying Iraveda, and I was actually going

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Speaker 7: back and forth to India a lot. At that time.

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Speaker 7: I was like teaching health and sanitation the slums, and

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Speaker 7: I had an Indian boyfriend. So I was like studying

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Speaker 7: Ariveda now in India, And then lived in India for

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Speaker 7: two years after college studying Ariveda, and just first of all,

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Speaker 7: healed myself, not just physically, but all of a sudden

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Speaker 7: I could follow through own ideas, and you know, I

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Speaker 7: had so much more groundedness within myself.

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Speaker 1: So I just became obsessed with.

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Speaker 7: It and I wanted more people because I know so

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Speaker 7: many women, especially in our generation, struggle with hormonal and

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Speaker 7: digestive issues. So I'm like, I need to write a

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Speaker 7: book about this. But I didn't know anyone who had

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Speaker 7: written a book in my entire life. So I was

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Speaker 7: just like, I'm just going to like write this book

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Speaker 7: and then figure out how it gets out later. So

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Speaker 7: I would just write right right, And you know, for

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Speaker 7: two years I was writing this book, which eventually I

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Speaker 7: met a literary agent. She pitched it to all these

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Speaker 7: different publishers. All thirty of them rejected me, and they're like,

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Speaker 7: this book's never going to happen.

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Speaker 1: You're not a doctor.

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Speaker 7: No one cares about Iravada blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 7: And that was And at this period of time, my

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Speaker 7: parents were like, you are batshit crazy, Like you are

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Speaker 7: going to end up homeless. You're not even I was

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Speaker 7: living in India, like making no money, Like you know,

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Speaker 7: I had some health coach clients that I lived off of.

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Speaker 7: I lived in a two dollars a night hut in

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Speaker 7: South India with rats in it. Like that is the

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Speaker 7: level that I was like, I will not give up

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Speaker 7: on this dream, even if it means living like this,

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Speaker 7: and so at that time being rejected by all those

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Speaker 7: publishers like, I'm like, I guess my parents were right,

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Speaker 7: you know, I maybe this isn't going to happen. But then,

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Speaker 7: interestingly enough, the literary agent was asked by the Idiot's

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Speaker 7: Guide group looking for someone to write the Idiot's Gude

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Speaker 7: to Araveda. I submitted, like I read every Idiot's guidebook, submitted,

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Speaker 7: and then was hired. So I wrote that book, which

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Speaker 7: I was like, I guess I have to write like

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Speaker 7: a fucking textbook of Iraveda. But whatever book I can,

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Speaker 7: I will do. So I put everything I could when

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Speaker 7: I would write like sixteen hours a day, wrote that book.

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Speaker 7: Flash forward a year later, I see Deepak Chopra at

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Speaker 7: a conference and I'm just like he was like my idol.

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Speaker 7: Like when I would fight with my parents, I'm like,

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Speaker 7: one day I'm going to be like Deepalk chop They're

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Speaker 7: like he's a charlatan and you're a charlotte. I'm just like, yeah,

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Speaker 7: my dad was like extremely verbally like abusive. It was.

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Speaker 7: It was really insane. So yeah, so I see Deepak

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Speaker 7: Chopra and I'm like, this is the only chance of

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Speaker 7: my life that I'm going to see him in real life.

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Speaker 7: So I go up to him and I just tell him,

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Speaker 7: I'm like, you have been such a role model for me,

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Speaker 7: and I would love to send you a PDF of

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Speaker 7: my book, thinking that that's going to be it, and

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Speaker 7: then he gave me his email. I sent him the

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Speaker 7: book and a few days later and this crazy synchronousity

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Speaker 7: story we can talk about, but he ended up emailing

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Speaker 7: me asking me for a meeting, and then writing the

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Speaker 7: forward of that book.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's amazing.

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Speaker 7: And then all of a sudden, I went from rejected

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Speaker 7: by all the publishers, broke no idea, what's going to

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Speaker 7: happen to writing this book deepoc Trope are writing the

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Speaker 7: forward being on faculty of Chopra, and I'm like, what

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Speaker 7: just changed in my life? And then I'm like, what

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Speaker 7: shifted within me that my external reality started shifting so much?

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Speaker 7: And that's when I started to get really deep into

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Speaker 7: spirituality and into this concept of dharma, which is your

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Speaker 7: soul's purpose, which is what I teach about right now.

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Speaker 4: Wow, so interesting, and we're all about like syn synchronicity

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Speaker 4: is taking a chance and things lining up at the

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Speaker 4: exact right time, because magic. But damn, that's a beautiful,

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Speaker 4: beautiful story. And you know, I've never heard it put

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Speaker 4: that way, like, and we talk a lot about you know,

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Speaker 4: shifts in our lives, but like what happened inside of

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Speaker 4: me that then reflected on the outside, which I'd never

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Speaker 4: heard anyone put that way. And that is a very

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Speaker 4: profound statement because I'm like, there's been a lot of changes,

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Speaker 4: what happened within me and all of those changes, but

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Speaker 4: I was never looking within. I was just looking at

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Speaker 4: the outside to reflect like success or whatever we think

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Speaker 4: it is.

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Speaker 1: But what did you find? What had shifted?

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Speaker 7: I mean so much so our entire like outer realities

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Speaker 7: or reflection of what's happening in our inner world. And

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Speaker 7: you know, I really believe that everything in our life

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Speaker 7: is connected by a red thread that you can really

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Speaker 7: only see looking back on it. And so I started

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Speaker 7: to just get really curious about what changed between those things.

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Speaker 7: So this concept of a dharma is your soul's purpose.

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Speaker 7: It's the big reason why you're here, and every single

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Speaker 7: person has one. And it's not so much of like

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Speaker 7: this is your career, this is how much money you're

436
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,160
Speaker 7: going to make, but it's who you are in action.

437
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,960
Speaker 7: So I believe like spiritually, our souls chose our parents,

438
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 7: chose where we were born, chose obstacles we were going

439
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 7: to overcome, because it was the perfect preparation to prepare

440
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 7: us for our dharmas, our soul's purposes, and our soul's

441
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,359
Speaker 7: purposes their combination of our highest form of joy in

442
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 7: our highest form of service. So it's like that thing

443
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 7: like you guys doing this podcast, you're having fun doing it,

444
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 7: and it's of service to all of the people listening

445
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 7: to this and writing your book, and however you do it,

446
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 7: you're doing it through the lens of your dharma, whereas

447
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 7: someone could do the exact same thing and it not

448
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 7: be the right frequency for that. So I believe when

449
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,120
Speaker 7: you're living in alignment with you your dharma, you start

450
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 7: to get all this like universal support. Right, It's like

451
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 7: we were all born on a highway and at the

452
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,239
Speaker 7: end of this highways are garment. It's like who were

453
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 7: meant to be, how we're meant to show up and

454
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 7: we were born right on track, like as children, we

455
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 7: fucking know, you know, we know, But then society is like, oh,

456
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 7: like you're going to make more money doing this. Your

457
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 7: parents will love you if you do that. Everyone in

458
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,959
Speaker 7: your town does this. You think you're going to do that,

459
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 7: And so we get off of these exits of the highway.

460
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 7: And then the universe responds with what is called karma.

461
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 7: So the actual meaning of the word karma is bound

462
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,879
Speaker 7: at action by the universe. The tap tap tap. Something's

463
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,439
Speaker 7: out of alignment. You're feeling anxious, something's feeling off. This

464
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:41,240
Speaker 7: isn't flowing. Most of us think life's tough. Get a helmet,

465
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 7: keep going, drink more coffee, take more adderall just push

466
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 7: ignoring it more right, So we keep getting off the exit.

467
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 7: And then the universe is like, okay, bis, you don't

468
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 7: want to listen. Punch punch, punch, like panic attack, collision,

469
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,160
Speaker 7: big thing happening. Some of us start to listen, others

470
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,239
Speaker 7: most of us don't until it's like an on your

471
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 7: knees break down, like something so big, like for me

472
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,120
Speaker 7: getting disowned by my family and then later on my divorce,

473
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 7: like something very very big, health challenges, getting fired by

474
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 7: jobs that it shakes you. It's like the level of

475
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 7: breakdown that you needed to make a shift again. Some

476
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 7: people stay choose to live in those series of unfortunate

477
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 7: events forever. But really that is karments, the bounded actions,

478
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 7: the barricades on the side of the highway that gets

479
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,359
Speaker 7: you back on track. And sometimes the only way we

480
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 7: can make those big changes is through pain.

481
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 3: You know.

482
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,639
Speaker 7: It's like that pain is our friend, that pain is

483
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,919
Speaker 7: our teacher. The darkness is actually where all of the

484
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 7: possibilities are. So when we're in that, in that dark

485
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 7: knight of the soul, to really ask ourselves, what is

486
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 7: this teaching me? And how can I now take this

487
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 7: wisdom and amplify myself even deeper towards my dharma. And

488
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 7: then all of a sudden you start experiencing syncreticies like

489
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 7: crazy shit, Like someone texts you something is exactly what

490
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 7: you were thinking. You hear this podcast is exactly what

491
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,120
Speaker 7: you need to listen to someone. It's like you can't

492
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 7: even explain, and I know you've been in it. So

493
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 7: that feeling is called crea is boundless action by the universe.

494
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 7: It's when you are in alignment with your dharma, the flow.

495
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 7: You know, you're rolling with the currents, and that is

496
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,360
Speaker 7: how life was meant to be lived. And so I

497
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,920
Speaker 7: saw in myself what shifted within me is I moved

498
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 7: from karma to Korea, and that's what letting me live

499
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 7: in my dharma.

500
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 4: That's a beautiful story and a beautiful way to put it.

501
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 4: The highway is really clear. And you know what also

502
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 4: made me think about I think people just like we

503
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 4: were talking about what change inside of you when all

504
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 4: those things change outside of you. But also like I

505
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 4: think people rarely look at when you're in a really

506
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 4: dark place or in a really bad situation, what is happening?

507
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 4: What are you choosing to stay in this space? Because

508
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 4: sometimes people are like everything.

509
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 1: Bad's happening to me, God hates me, you know.

510
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 4: But it's like people are rarely able to be like

511
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 4: I'm choosing the wrong partner, who's being you know, disrespectful,

512
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 4: and like this is where I need to and people

513
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 4: are unwilling to put certain things down. And a lot

514
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 4: of times it comes in the forms of people because

515
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 4: you know, women, we love, we love to fix something,

516
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 4: you know.

517
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: But it's that's an interesting, like perspective.

518
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 3: I'm curious because I know that you teach, like you said,

519
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,959
Speaker 3: you teach people how to find their dharma. What is

520
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 3: like when you have like a client that is maybe

521
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 3: has that mindset of like everything as bad as happening

522
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 3: in my life?

523
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 1: Why why all the time? Like what would what.

524
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,199
Speaker 3: Is like the first step I guess to kind of

525
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 3: recognizing what your darma could potentially be, or is like

526
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,679
Speaker 3: how do you even pull yourself out of that to

527
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 3: even take the first step towards that self discovery.

528
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 7: So I have five stages of darma discovery. So the

529
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 7: first one is just realizing you have a darma. So

530
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 7: if you don't believe you have a purpose, it's like

531
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 7: it's not going to work. And most people are not

532
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 7: even there, they're not even at stage one. So sometimes

533
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,360
Speaker 7: it's like your big ass crisis that makes you realize,

534
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 7: like damn, this was exactly what I needed to make

535
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 7: a change that I would have never made without this.

536
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 7: So it's stage one is the realization. Stage two is

537
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 7: self improvement. That's where most of the personal development self

538
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 7: help space is at. How do I become my best self? Fitness, wollness, meditation, biohacking, psychology,

539
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,159
Speaker 7: these are all forms of improving yourself and it's very important.

540
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 7: We can't skip that step.

541
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 3: But it's step it's the hardest, it's one of the

542
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 3: hard it's one of the hardest steps.

543
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 7: I think it's the hardest, and it's never ending, and

544
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 7: these cycles never end. But we get to a point

545
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 7: that we've like maybe done all the therapy or you know,

546
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 7: tract or macros or whatever the thing was, that we

547
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 7: realize that maybe I am not a mind and a

548
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 7: body to improve, but rather I am a soul to know,

549
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 7: and maybe nothing was ever wrong with me. I didn't

550
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 7: need to fix myself, but rather I just didn't know myself.

551
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 7: And so that brings us to stage three, which is

552
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 7: the spiritual wakening, which is maybe this deeper soul within me.

553
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 7: It's it needs to be in a different environment, needs

554
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 7: to be around different people, needs to be fed different nutrients.

555
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 7: So you start to really dive deep into who am I.

556
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 7: And for some people that looks like astrology, and for

557
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 7: some people that looks like human design or medita. I mean,

558
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 7: it's like a spiritual wonderland in here, you know. And

559
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,959
Speaker 7: so stage three you're like, oh my god, like we

560
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 7: need to wake up the sheeple and like it can

561
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,679
Speaker 7: be really exciting and really overwhelming. There's all these different

562
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 7: modalities out there, and so in this space, if you're

563
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 7: stuck here, only it could be like, well, I don't

564
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 7: know this. I need to know my gene kis. I

565
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 7: need to know my this, I need to know my that.

566
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 7: And it's never ending and it can negate us from

567
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 7: the responsibility of actually like doing something with this. So

568
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,679
Speaker 7: stage four is when we go into dharma development of

569
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 7: like taking the tools that actually work for us and

570
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 7: like sticking with them. So maybe it's tero for you

571
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 7: or even for someone else, could be art, it could

572
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 7: be you know, whatever, gardening, whatever the thing is for them,

573
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 7: but to really like develop your skills stay with something

574
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 7: like our society, we're such dabblers and everything right, and

575
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 7: the way that people have been like masters of different

576
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 7: things is like they devote themselves like this energy of

577
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 7: devotion from the heart. So stage four is really like

578
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 7: devoting yourself to something like you all have been doing

579
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 7: this podcast for seven years, devoting yourself to that, and

580
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 7: that teaching shows you, which brings you to stage five

581
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 7: dharma embodiment, when who you are in your work and

582
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 7: you're outer world is the same, you are being you

583
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 7: full time, you know, because before that it's like the

584
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,159
Speaker 7: me at my job and the meat everywhere else. And

585
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 7: of course we always have different versions of ourselves. But

586
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 7: it doesn't feel like I have to put on a

587
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 7: mask every day, you know. And what happens interesting in

588
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,919
Speaker 7: stage five is like everything in your life that is

589
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 7: not in alignment with full truth will go away. Relationships, friendships, homes,

590
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 7: They will become so painful. It's like that little like

591
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 7: that story of the p under the mattress. You know

592
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 7: you're like couldn't sleep. It would be like that, you know,

593
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 7: get bigger and bigger into your face because your dharma

594
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 7: becomes like the most essential thing of who I am

595
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 7: and how I'm here to serve humanity. That like anything

596
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 7: that's holding you back from that needs to shift. And

597
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 7: then we go on that journey again. So I would

598
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 7: really for someone, I would say, where are you in

599
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 7: that journey? Then what's the next step?

600
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 3: When I think of step five, I'm thinking about out

601
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 3: you and your relationship with your parents, like you said,

602
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 3: And also we can talk about it in a bit

603
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 3: about your divorce, like were you already in stage four

604
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 3: and then these things started to happen like stage five

605
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,919
Speaker 3: as far as like the disownment of your I mean,

606
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 3: I guess that would be them disowning you and less

607
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 3: you being in control of that. But when you're in that,

608
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 3: when you're in between those phases and stages, and that's

609
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 3: a that's a very big one. I mean specifically the

610
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 3: parental one, you know, like the people that brought us here,

611
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 3: that have really instilled our core belief systems, really given

612
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 3: us a lot of our self identity, safety, safety, Like

613
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 3: how does how have you? I guess, I don't know.

614
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 3: I don't know if if you still have a relationship

615
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 3: with your parents to you, yeah, have they come back

616
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 3: now that you're well?

617
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 7: I really ship with my mom, not my dad really.

618
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 7: So that happened when I was twenty three and actually

619
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 7: was a thing that led to my greatest liberation because

620
00:27:55,960 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 7: before that I was subconsciously always living for my dad's rouval,

621
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 7: the pat on the head, I'm proud of you, You're enough.

622
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 7: When I finally heard the words of like you are

623
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 7: dead to me and I want nothing to do with you, it.

624
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 1: Kind of gave you Okay. It was just like, then

625
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 1: what am I even living?

626
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 7: I'm going to live for myself then, right, And it

627
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 7: was like some I think in life we always have

628
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 7: to go to our biggest fear, like that big thing

629
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 7: that we never want to happen when you go right

630
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 7: into it and you realize that you're going to be okay.

631
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: Then it's like I don't give a fuck. When people

632
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: on social.

633
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 7: Media say I don't give a fuck, it's like you've

634
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 7: already when you've been through the fire. It's like you

635
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 7: start dancing with the fire you make that you start

636
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 7: twirling that fire around and you become so much stronger.

637
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 7: And it wasn't necessarily like a level four to five thing.

638
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 7: I feel like these initiations continue to happen, like I've

639
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 7: been living my dharma for over ten years now, but

640
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 7: it's like attunemnts to it right. It's high high exactly

641
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 7: like okay, or we're going to put you on a

642
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 7: new path of what you're meant to teach. Like okay,

643
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 7: you've been teaching about health and wellness for so long.

644
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 7: Time to move on, Time to move into the dharma

645
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 7: part of your journey and eventually teach it to others.

646
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 7: Time to move into the love part of your journey,

647
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 7: eventually teach it to others. So I feel those of

648
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 7: us that are on the path of like like they

649
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 7: call this janana the path of wisdom. It's like we

650
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 7: have to personally go through all the shit that we're

651
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 7: meant to eventually share with others.

652
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you.

653
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 3: Speaking of the just kind of going with your dharma

654
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 3: and your purpose. I saw that, I've seen that over

655
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 3: the last few years you've gotten into music, and I

656
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 3: think about just like how society really likes to put

657
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 3: us in boxes, specifically women, and like, oh, you've chosen

658
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 3: this modality, Like how dare you step outside and do

659
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 3: this thing? Like how how did that come to be?

660
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 3: And like how did how has that process been since

661
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 3: you started, since the beginning of choosing to do that

662
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 3: and incorporating that into how you show up?

663
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, so after my divorce and we can go into

664
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 7: the story, but essentially found out that he had been

665
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 7: cheating on me throughout the marriage. And it was like

666
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 7: a very quick instant knowing that I needed to leave

667
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 7: this relationship because there was no going back. It was

668
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 7: happening the entire time.

669
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 4: Since since the day you got married to the day

670
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 4: you found since before we were married. So he didn't

671
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 4: think I'm getting married now, let me just like cut

672
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 4: off this other bitch.

673
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 7: No, he was just I mean, narcissism is a real thing.

674
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: It is in his mind.

675
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 7: He's like, would do you ever.

676
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 4: Think that logic gas have logical I'm just getting down

677
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 4: on one knee purchasing a ring.

678
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that you proposed to you.

679
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 7: I was like, when you were saying your vows, you

680
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 7: didn't feel like any kind of guilt something was coming up.

681
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 7: He's like, I didn't even think about it.

682
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 1: I'm like what he said that.

683
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 7: He's like, I didn't eat, I didn't write. He didn't

684
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 7: identify someone who cheated.

685
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: I don't identify with that.

686
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 7: But that's a scary thing because people can suppress things

687
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 7: so deep in because we would have conversations of friends

688
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 7: getting cheated on what you think, and he'd be like,

689
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 7: that's so fucked up in this and like and believe it,

690
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 7: believe it because of the cognitive dissonance of like the

691
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 7: way it's like I think it would happen. It would

692
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 7: be like one time things, and he would suppress it

693
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 7: so far away and almost just like a Jacqueline had,

694
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 7: which was related to his own traumas of just like suppressing.

695
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, was he also like Middle Eastern Okay, fucking shit?

696
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 3: If he was like, you know, you guys were practicing

697
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,479
Speaker 3: together in spirituality.

698
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 7: You know, I was the more spiritual one, and I

699
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 7: brought him on the spiritual journey, which took years. We

700
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 7: were together for seven years, so I would say maybe

701
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 7: like four years in he started to get more spiritual,

702
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 7: but his own path, and I was very much just

703
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 7: like you know, you do you right, I have my

704
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 7: more feminine path, he had his, And actually the spiritual

705
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 7: path is what let he actually admitted to me about

706
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 7: the cheating.

707
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: Wow, that's how you found out.

708
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 7: He told me through sitting with plant medicine of Wachuma

709
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 7: San Pedro. So I'm actually really grateful for that because

710
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 7: he didn't need to tell me. And it was like

711
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 7: that was ready to be purged and so interesting because

712
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 7: it's like you're in a relationship but there's like the

713
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 7: snake underneath it that you don't see until you're ready.

714
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 7: And it was like in divine timing because first of all,

715
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 7: seven year cycles, as we know, everything in life is

716
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 7: in seven year cycles. We change our DNA every seven years.

717
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 7: So it was like honestly looking back on it because

718
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 7: then I eventually sat with the San Pedro medicine, it

719
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 7: showed me like it was so fucking divine, you know,

720
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 7: like when I was going through all this, when I

721
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 7: was like twenty three, I wanted to go to Peru

722
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 7: and sit so San Pedro. For those who are wondering,

723
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 7: people may have heard of ayahuasca. So ayahuasca is a vine.

724
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 7: It's considered grandmother medicine, and so she really like tells

725
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 7: it to you as it is. She's like very spunky,

726
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 7: but like like visual and honestly, I had so much

727
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 7: fun with ayahuasca. That was like these deep uncomfortable truths

728
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 7: about myself. But in this like really like for me,

729
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 7: it was actually did you guys remember Carmen the Hip Opera? Yeah,

730
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 7: she presented the whole thing hip opera, battles musical.

731
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 4: Only person I've ever heard say this, So you're gonna

732
00:32:58,640 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 4: have pictures like in Nyahuasca.

733
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be butt crack.

734
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 7: Okay, no, no no no, I don't want outfits everything.

735
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 7: She knew the way to my soul. She knew so

736
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 7: iohuasca is really like that. But she was like this

737
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 7: show and I'm like laughing. She's freestyle rapping with me

738
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 7: about like how I'm like Kim Kardashian, so like poking

739
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 7: fun of me, but like but like in this like

740
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 7: really playful way. But then she's like, yeah, say the

741
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 7: most uncomfortable thing about yourself and then kind of like

742
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 7: come up and it's so life changing. You know, then

743
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 7: Watchumu San Paedro's grandfather of medicine. So you actually take

744
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 7: that medicine while hiking traditionally in Peru. So you're like

745
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 7: hiking in nature and you're taking it, but you're not

746
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 7: seeing anything. You're still in nature. But it's almost like

747
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,959
Speaker 7: this very wise, like elderly version of you was talking

748
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 7: to you. And so for me, it was a lot

749
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 7: of like call and response but also poetic as well

750
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 7: as it would be like a thing of poetry. It's

751
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 7: like trust the flow, trust the flow. Just surrender, just

752
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 7: surrender the control.

753
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 1: And I was like do you get it?

754
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 5: Have you?

755
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 7: Do you understand that? Okay, now we can move on.

756
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 7: And it was like this like step by step like thing.

757
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 7: So when I sat with the San Pedro in Peru,

758
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,399
Speaker 7: there was this moment that I like, you know, I'm

759
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 7: like crying of.

760
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: Like why am I single?

761
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 7: And like all of the things, and it was just

762
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 7: like brought me back to when I was twenty three

763
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 7: years old and I wanted to sit with the medicine.

764
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 7: I didn't have any money to and it was like

765
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 7: the moment you decide to work with these medicines, they

766
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 7: start working with your life. And I was like, so

767
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 7: we decided the medicine in that time to take you

768
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 7: into your biggest illusion that marriage is eternal safety and happiness.

769
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,280
Speaker 7: And like a month later I met him on bumble

770
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 7: first person I matched with on bumble instant fell in love.

771
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,359
Speaker 7: That night I wrote first date with my husband. I

772
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 7: knew he was my husband, and it was honestly a

773
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 7: really smooth relationship, like we never fought, you know, it

774
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 7: was never anything wrong. There was never would have been

775
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 7: a conscious reason to divorce until I found out about this,

776
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 7: but in divine timing, when I had my own business

777
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 7: and knew myself and like could actually create this new

778
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 7: version of myself. I feel like a lot of women

779
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 7: who get cheated on, like how did I not know?

780
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 7: How did I not know? And they really shame themselves

781
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 7: around that, And it's like, your soul knew when you

782
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 7: were ready to find out, So trust that when you

783
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 7: know you are ready for what is next?

784
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: Oh lord, yeah I was.

785
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 3: I'm still thinking about how the men will literally have

786
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 3: conversations with you about oh, like I can't believe my

787
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 3: homeboy he got three baby mamas.

788
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: I would never do that.

789
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 3: You meanwhile, you're impregnating a bitch behind my back hit

790
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,439
Speaker 3: a sore spot. But I have so much gratitude for

791
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 3: that was my personal experience.

792
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: I can tell I have so much gratitude for that experience.

793
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 3: And I think so many times when we are experiencing

794
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 3: such I guess, soul busting ripping experiences that just don't

795
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 3: feel like they make any sense.

796
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: It really is kind of like or dharma, like knocking

797
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: on the door, like.

798
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 4: Hey, bitch, to do something different. Now, are we gonna choose?

799
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 4: How are we gonna choose? We're gonna choose the same?

800
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: Are you gonna you canna mother that baby? You're gonna

801
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 1: sit here and do that? Can you do it? You

802
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,439
Speaker 1: can't do it? You do it? Look at that baby?

803
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: Can you do it? I don't think so? Look again?

804
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 2: Nope.

805
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 3: So then how how music? How did music get into

806
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 3: the mix of this?

807
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 7: Oh? Yeah, So after my divorce, I'm processing so much,

808
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 7: you know, like how did I not know?

809
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 1: And hurt anger?

810
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 7: Shame like like everything, And I also just kind of

811
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 7: you know, there's like those tipping points to do all

812
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 7: the healing works, like all my dad wound stuff and

813
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 7: childhood and past lives and lineas and an ancestral And

814
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 7: it was like like six months of just like fucking

815
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 7: deep ass shadow work. And I could not listen to podcasts.

816
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 7: I could not read books. I could like words, like

817
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,399
Speaker 7: you know, when you're like trauma brain and someone's talking,

818
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 7: you can't even really hear what they're saying. I was

819
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 7: like that. All I could do was listen to music,

820
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 7: and like when you're in that open hearted, like broken hearted,

821
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 7: open hearted state, like everything.

822
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: Hits you so dull, like God, Yeah, I listen to

823
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 1: music and be like damn, like has it has it

824
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: always been like that?

825
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 7: I know, I'm like, oh, like hear like the ad

826
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 7: libs and like hear the production, and especially afrobeats music.

827
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 7: I love afrobeats so, which I'm part Ethiopian, And I

828
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 7: was just like, oh, like it was speaking to my

829
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 7: soul and so and I've been DJing for a while,

830
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 7: like five years before that, but I always and what's

831
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 7: interesting is my ex husband produced music. But I always thought, oh,

832
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 7: that's so complicated. I could never do that, never considered

833
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 7: it for myself interesting enough. We're attracted to the people

834
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 7: that subconsciously you want to be more like you know,

835
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 7: they're like muses to us. And so I started thinking,

836
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 7: I'm like, imagine I combined like Persian with afrobeats music.

837
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 7: What would that be like? And and then I just

838
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 7: started thinking, and I'm like going on YouTube like how

839
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 7: to produce and just getting more interested and curious about it.

840
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 7: And then eventually I went to this festival called Afro

841
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 7: Nation in Portugal, met this guy. He was a dancer.

842
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 7: We became friends and then he turned out to be

843
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 7: a music engineer and we just started making music together.

844
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,879
Speaker 7: And it was like, so my biggest song it's called

845
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 7: trust Flow, and lyrics are trust Flows, Surrender, let Go.

846
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,720
Speaker 7: And that was the affirmation I was telling myself again

847
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 7: and again when I didn't where I was going to live,

848
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 7: I didn't know what was going to happen next, like

849
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 7: the future, and I'm a capricorn, I'm like, what I

850
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 7: need a plan. It was like trust Flows, Surrender, let Go.

851
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 7: I'm the one I've been waiting foe. And so when

852
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 7: I produced that afrobeat song, I was like, fucking and

853
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 7: I need to find like an amazing Nigerian artist, and

854
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 7: I was like, I don't even know how, and then

855
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 7: I just thought, what if I just try this affirmation

856
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 7: on it, which no one does Affirmation's afrobeats. So I'm like,

857
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 7: let me just try this, and so that's how it

858
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 7: started and just kept going. So my album My Body

859
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,800
Speaker 7: is an altar really has been all of the music

860
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 7: that you know has healed me. And the meaning of

861
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 7: that is like seeing yourself as a sacred site that

862
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 7: will only be treated as such. And because when we

863
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 7: walk as if we had rose petals at our feet,

864
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 7: you know, we're walking with reverence. Then people show up

865
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 7: in our lives in such different ways. But when we

866
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 7: walk as if like we don't fucking matter, you know,

867
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 7: it's like that's the energy that we're going to receive.

868
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 7: So and another big part of that journey too is,

869
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 7: you know, being Middle Eastern marriage and Middle Eastern man,

870
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 7: it was like cover yourself, how dare you show your body?

871
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,720
Speaker 7: How dare you dance? How dare you this that? Because

872
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 7: women are men's properties in those cultures.

873
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 2: You know.

874
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 7: So it was like I was finally free to just

875
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 7: like be myself and not give a fuck and just

876
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 7: like tap into these different archetypes that every woman has,

877
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 7: Like every woman has like the hoe that you talked about,

878
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 7: her shadow self, her her creative self, her warrior self,

879
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 7: her medicine, woman's self, her priest as self. These are

880
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 7: all aspects of us. But our day and age is

881
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 7: like state, oh you're like this. It's like we're the

882
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 7: air of like personal branding, like describe yourself at one

883
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 7: hundred and eighty characters and like that is who you

884
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 7: are forever. It's like, no, we're all here to be

885
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 7: multi dimensional. And so like every song was me like

886
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 7: playing with a different archetype and a different energy within myself.

887
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 7: So it's been a vibe I've been making music ever since.

888
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: That's dope.

889
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I saw. I was like she's she's not

890
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 3: over here doing festivals. She's like making it happen for

891
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 3: herself everywhere, like everywhere. And I was like, this is

892
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 3: really incredible, and it's a testament to like really the

893
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 3: feminine essence and the power that we can cultivate once

894
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 3: we decide to do something and then just go for

895
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 3: it one hundred percent. I think also, I've heard you

896
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 3: talk a lot about just the feminine embodiment and your

897
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 3: embodiment practice in particular, And I'm just I'm curious, and

898
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 3: I'm sure our audience is like, what for you is

899
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 3: your personal like feminine embodiment practice. I mean, I know

900
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 3: I've seen like I've seen a real of you doing one,

901
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 3: like at the park, and like people were like, what

902
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 3: the is she doing?

903
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:31,320
Speaker 1: Yeah?

904
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 3: And it's funny because like I have, I have, I

905
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 3: guess my own and in some capacity, I don't know

906
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 3: if I've ever like coined it that that term, Hey,

907
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 3: how did you come to it? And like how do

908
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 3: you utilize it in your life?

909
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 7: So in those like months after the divorce, I would

910
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 7: wake up and just cry, you know, when you wake

911
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 7: up and you're like is this my reality? Like wait,

912
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 7: there's no one next to me. Wait, I'm in an airbnb,

913
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 7: Like what the fuck just happened? It's so you have

914
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 7: to like the fifty first dates yourself every single day,

915
00:40:56,719 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 7: you know. And so I could not like do breathwork

916
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 7: and all that shit. I would just cry and then

917
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 7: I'm like, Okay, let me try to move this energy.

918
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 7: So from the crying, I would touch myself as if

919
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 7: I were my own lover, Like how would I want

920
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,320
Speaker 7: to be touched, like touching my face, touching my hands,

921
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 7: like hugging myself, and I would play, even if it

922
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 7: was just one song, you know, and just sit up

923
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 7: on my bed and just like move my neck, move

924
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 7: my shoulders and start to move. And then from there

925
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 7: I would feel a little bit more creative. Maybe I

926
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 7: would write a poem or just record a voicemail on

927
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 7: myself talking something out. So I noticed I was emoting, embodying, expressing,

928
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 7: and that's what became the triple E method emote, embody,

929
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 7: and express. So how you do it is first feel

930
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 7: whatever's you're genuinely feeling right now. If you're feeling super anxious,

931
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:45,839
Speaker 7: can you be like ah and like sound that anxiety out?

932
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: You know?

933
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 7: What's so crazy and that brought me deeper into the

934
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,319
Speaker 7: journey of the womb. Is like we hold onto these

935
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 7: emotions that if we can hit the right sound of it,

936
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 7: we release it. So you know, when you're like, oh,

937
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,839
Speaker 7: it's actually hitting a frequency in your body that like

938
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 7: that exact note is needed to release that. Or if

939
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 7: you're like I mean like orgasms, right, it's like oh,

940
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 7: it's like different, you know, different textures of it. So

941
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 7: I would you know, kind of I was never like allowed.

942
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 7: I was always like more quiet, so I'd be like

943
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 7: trying to make sounds right. Car is such a good

944
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 7: place to do it too, if you're like I have

945
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 7: neighbors or roommates or something in your car just like

946
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 7: scream grunts, you know the Collie breath, which is putting

947
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 7: your tongue on going and just letting that out. And

948
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 7: I know a lot of people are like, I feel

949
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 7: like if I let myself really get angry or cry

950
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 7: will never end. And trust me, one day you will

951
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 7: wake up and not need to cry. But it's like

952
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 7: you got to get to the bottom of that well,

953
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 7: and sometimes it takes a really fucking long time because

954
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 7: it's all the tears. You never let yourself cry your

955
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 7: entire life. But it's like this is finally the tipping

956
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 7: point that you actually manifested to finally feel all of

957
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 7: those things. And what tends to happen is the body

958
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 7: naturally starts to self regulate that after a few minutes,

959
00:42:58,640 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 7: you're like, I.

960
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 4: Feel exactly, feel relieved from whatever practice exactly.

961
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 7: So then you move into embodies. So from emote you

962
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 7: go to embody. So play a song of how you

963
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 7: want to feel Do you want to feel sensual? Do

964
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,240
Speaker 7: you want to feel empowered? Do you want to feel

965
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 7: you know, trusting God like whatever that energy is for you?

966
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 7: And how can you embody that with your body? It

967
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,240
Speaker 7: can be through self touch, it can be through dance movement,

968
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 7: rolling on the ground, stretching. I don't advise yoga because

969
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 7: yoga is like a more masculine practice actually, which a

970
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,840
Speaker 7: lot of people don't realize, Like yoga was actually created

971
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 7: for pre pubescent boys to keep them like calm so

972
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 7: they could focus and eventually join the warrior cast.

973
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 1: So who knew?

974
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 7: Yeah? So I was doing so much yoga and that

975
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 7: was also part of why I lost my period so

976
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 7: much mask because it's like telling your body how to

977
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 7: be rather than letting your body guide you. Right, and

978
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,359
Speaker 7: you're tucking your hips and you're pressing everything, and you're

979
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 7: making it. Did I get the posture right?

980
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 1: Right? That's that masculine conscious dat am I doing it right?

981
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 1: You know?

982
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 7: It's like instead let your body guide you. It doesn't

983
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 7: need to make sense, it doesn't need to look pretty,

984
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 7: Like going to a dance class is not this practice,

985
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 7: because that's again masculine performance. Do I look good in

986
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,280
Speaker 7: the mirror exactly. Like, even if it's just like getting

987
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,720
Speaker 7: on your hands and knees and just circling your hips

988
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 7: and letting your body move, it's so it unleashes. It's primal,

989
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 7: it's ancestral. Your body's gonna know what to do. It's

990
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 7: like birthing a baby, you know, and then from there

991
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 7: express Like this is when your truth can come out,

992
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 7: whether it is writing four lines on your notes app

993
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 7: whether it is you know, voice noting a friend, whether

994
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 7: it's drawing something or coming up with a piece of

995
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 7: content or whatever that thing is. I find these emotions

996
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,280
Speaker 7: want to be expressed. The feminine. You know, our yonis

997
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 7: or vaginas are connected to our throat chukda, you know,

998
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 7: the larynx and the vaginal opening. It look the exact same.

999
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 7: So it's like when we can express that and turn

1000
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 7: into something greater, that's how we heal, because we're like,

1001
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,919
Speaker 7: I didn't go through this pain in vain, but rather

1002
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,399
Speaker 7: it has turned into art. And I feel the real

1003
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 7: healing happens, especially from heartbreak, is when you can say

1004
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 7: I would go through all that shit again to become

1005
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 7: this version, right, Yeah.

1006
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 1: I agree.

1007
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,280
Speaker 3: I mean I think about just the amount of healing

1008
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 3: that we've had in the space talking and using our

1009
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 3: voice and also together collectively like really feeling empowered to

1010
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 3: tap into into all the feminine parts of ourselves, the

1011
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 3: sexual parts, the sacred parts, the sensual parts, and how

1012
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:31,720
Speaker 3: it's literally transformed ourselves and our.

1013
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 4: Lives by expressing and being honest. And I think people

1014
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 4: underestimate the medicine of honesty and expression. And then even

1015
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,319
Speaker 4: back to what you were saying about, because this is

1016
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 4: like we do retreats and this, I mean the three

1017
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 4: ease without knowing the three's is something that we do

1018
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 4: we do in our workshop, and I really notice is

1019
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 4: like people have a hard time making sounds that aren't

1020
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 4: English words. It feels like what the fuck are you

1021
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 4: talking about? You know, like even I've seen in this

1022
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 4: space and we're like, okay, now we're gonna scream. And

1023
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 4: some people are like about thank god because I've been

1024
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 4: trying to hold it three clock yeah, And then some

1025
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 4: people are literally like why the fuck that I sign

1026
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 4: up for this?

1027
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,479
Speaker 1: Like what am I doing?

1028
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 4: And we are as humans, I think we've been so

1029
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 4: deeply programmed to just for everything to have to make

1030
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 4: so much sense that sometimes the things that make the

1031
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 4: most sense. Are so extremely simple and so extremely basic,

1032
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 4: and it's like.

1033
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 1: But we lose that, like as we get older.

1034
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 4: It is like, of course there's noises that have to

1035
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 4: be made to like to move energy. Of course, you

1036
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 4: have to move your body to move energy. Of course,

1037
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 4: Like that's that's directly associated and connected to like anxiety

1038
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 4: and like all types of ailments and sicknesses in the body.

1039
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 4: But we're so we're so gung ho on, like I

1040
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 4: don't want to look stupid. I don't want to feel

1041
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 4: stupid or that's stupid. It's like, well, how about, bitch,

1042
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 4: you try it, because right now you're not doing so good,

1043
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 4: you know. But it's like even I did LSD like

1044
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 4: five years ago now almost four years ago now, and

1045
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,239
Speaker 4: I came back and I was on one.

1046
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: I was just like and like the best, Like my

1047
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 1: nervous system.

1048
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,399
Speaker 4: Was regulated because I went on this like seven day

1049
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 4: incubation trip with two people, and I came back to

1050
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 4: all my friends and I was high as fuck off

1051
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 4: a life and I was like and all my friends

1052
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 4: are like, I'm not moaning with you in this restaurant,

1053
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 4: including Erica, and I was like, come on, And then

1054
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 4: we're gonna how let the moon, let's do it. It's

1055
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 4: gonna be so fun of them with my white friends,

1056
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 4: and they do it all the time. And she was

1057
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 4: like no, and I was like come on. And now

1058
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 4: all the time we're like, you know, because sometimes that's

1059
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:37,479
Speaker 4: the thing that you know, that small thing. It's such

1060
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 4: a small thing, but like that release is necessary. And

1061
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 4: as children, you do something to your kid, you piss

1062
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 4: them off, they're gonna fucking lay out and scream and

1063
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 4: kick and they have no there's nothing telling them that

1064
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 4: that's not okay, but that's how they're expressing it. And

1065
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 4: as adults are like, you're acting fucking crazy. But we

1066
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 4: lose somewhere in the adulthood, like from a childhood to adulthood,

1067
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:02,320
Speaker 4: we lose the ability to express out concern about anybody

1068
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 4: else thinks.

1069
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 1: And like even in the privacy of your own home, Yeah,

1070
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 1: but you're embarrassed by yourself, Like how I'm embarrassed by you, bitch?

1071
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 4: You know, like you're alone, but there's this this like

1072
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 4: it's so crazy to think about it that way, is

1073
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 4: like those are those are the tools we still need

1074
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 4: as an adult. If the tantrum may not look the same,

1075
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 4: you may not do it in seven to eleven when

1076
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 4: you didn't get the gum.

1077
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 1: However, it's still is required.

1078
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 4: Like sometimes it's just like I know people listening can

1079
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 4: probably relate to this, is like one thing happens to

1080
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 4: you that really isn't that big of a deal, But

1081
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,439
Speaker 4: now you've been crying for an hour. It's because, bitch,

1082
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 4: you didn't cry for the last two years. It's like

1083
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 4: it's come. It's like the water is overflowing and you

1084
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:41,439
Speaker 4: have to let it out some way. And that's why

1085
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 4: people think that they're just addicted to like the gym.

1086
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 4: Is like, no, your body needs to have a source

1087
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 4: of release, and we like forget that because we're on

1088
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:52,280
Speaker 4: this fucking hamster wheel of work and money in social

1089
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:54,880
Speaker 4: and like the one hundred and forty character bio and like,

1090
00:48:55,440 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 4: but instead of just the medicine is generally already inside

1091
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 4: of us and it may not make sense and it

1092
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 4: may not come in like a pretty book that has

1093
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 4: a cover and end, but like you are the book,

1094
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 4: and like going back inside of yourself is where you

1095
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,280
Speaker 4: find what works for you. Because we all are probably

1096
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 4: doing some of the same shit, and it's called different things.

1097
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 4: It's from different and like lineages and different practices, but overall,

1098
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 4: like we are given all the tools as humans. We're

1099
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 4: self like we're self healing, and we forget that and

1100
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 4: we're constantly looking outward.

1101
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 3: Well that's what it is, is like a very like

1102
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 3: you said, like there's this forgetfulness, there's this forgettingness and

1103
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:37,320
Speaker 3: then but it's not it's forgotten, but the the wisdom

1104
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 3: is in our bodies. And like thinking about like I

1105
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 3: know you were talking about earlier how you felt like

1106
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 3: you had a lot of air in your body, and like,

1107
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: you know what we learn. We're tantric practitioners and we

1108
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 3: followed the Cagpat Shack Shang Shang pag hag you lineage whatever.

1109
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 3: It's very influenced by the Bond tradition. And they talk

1110
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 3: about the five elements and how obviously like the elements,

1111
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,280
Speaker 3: we are of the elements and sometimes you're heavier and

1112
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 3: and like if you're heavier in air, what do you need?

1113
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 3: Do you need more earth? Do you need more water?

1114
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 3: Do you need more space? You need less space? And

1115
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 3: once you kind of really figure out how to balance

1116
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 3: the elements in your body, like it sounds so like

1117
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 3: woo woo, but it's very simple and it makes the

1118
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 3: most sense. And it's like even like making these sounds

1119
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 3: that are primal or things that we actually do anyway

1120
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 3: when we're not thinking, like we yawn, we're like, we

1121
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 3: just do it because people, that's what we do when

1122
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:31,320
Speaker 3: we yawn, and not realizing that sound actually can.

1123
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 1: Help calm your vagus nerve.

1124
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 3: And there's a reason why dogs and animals do these

1125
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 3: type of sounds when they're feeling anxious or they're feeling nervous.

1126
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 3: And it's all within us. But we've been endoctrined by

1127
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,879
Speaker 3: the medical system, the Western medicine, that we need these

1128
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 3: different things, we have to take, these type of pills,

1129
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 3: we need to even exercise. I recently went on a retreat.

1130
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 3: I went on a darkness retreat, and so I was

1131
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 3: in total darkness for four days by myself, and the

1132
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 3: whole practice was really getting out of your mind and

1133
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 3: into your body, Like what is it that your body

1134
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 3: actually wants Because a lot of times when you think

1135
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 3: your body wants to work out, you're like, I need

1136
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 3: to work out right now, and it's like, actually, no,

1137
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,479
Speaker 3: your body wants to rest. You go to the gym

1138
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 3: and it doesn't work, and you're like, why didn't work?

1139
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 3: Because you have too much fire in your body you

1140
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 3: actually didn't need to create more. So it's like when

1141
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 3: you start to really kind of pinpoint and listen to

1142
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 3: your body and not necessarily your mind, because like, right now,

1143
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 3: I've realized how how much I lead with my mind

1144
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 3: all the time, and how toxic it's been, and how

1145
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 3: much your mind actually lies to you, and that your

1146
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 3: body actually is the most intelligent thing and that's what

1147
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 3: you should be listening to. We're so disconnected from our

1148
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 3: bodies because it's by design and also by consumption the

1149
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 3: things we drink, drinking alcohol, smoking weed, which are all

1150
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 3: things that I do at different times, various times in

1151
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 3: my life. But also I know also in my body

1152
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 3: has had too much and it's like, hey, we need

1153
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 3: to stop, we need to disconnect. And I think a

1154
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 3: lot of times we resist that because we're scared of

1155
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 3: what's on the other side. And what's on the other

1156
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 3: side is fucking you and actually a lot of happiness

1157
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 3: and a lot of joy and a lot of peace,

1158
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,799
Speaker 3: but there's a lot of turmoil and a lot of

1159
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 3: guk gulk in the middle of that we have to

1160
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,759
Speaker 3: work through in order to get to the other side.

1161
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,400
Speaker 3: And I think that's really what people are so scared

1162
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 3: of and are so fearful of. And even listening to

1163
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 3: you know, us talk about meditation or the elements or

1164
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 3: whatever it might be, there's a there was a resistance

1165
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 3: of like, eh, that's some bullshit. We don't need none

1166
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 3: of that. That's like, that's that witchy shit. I'm just

1167
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,680
Speaker 3: gonna like that's spiritual. Yeah, like I don't do that,

1168
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 3: but like what you need.

1169
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 4: It, you know, and and and and also it's like

1170
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 4: I think sitting here with both of you too, is

1171
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:53,240
Speaker 4: like this is why we're in this era of healers

1172
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 4: where people are waking up. It's because we're gonna there's

1173
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 4: gonna be a lot of different languages. That's gonna like

1174
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 4: say the same thing, but resident with different people in

1175
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 4: the community.

1176
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 1: And so very need is someone from every every practice.

1177
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 1: What'd you do? What did you do?

1178
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 4: Because maybe someone else is like that is so bobo.

1179
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 4: But then you someone else will come over and be

1180
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 4: like put it to you in a way, and you

1181
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 4: be like, okay, let me try it, you know.

1182
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:14,919
Speaker 1: Sahara says, my body is alder.

1183
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 4: These bitches say, bitch, let me go over here, you

1184
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 4: know what I mean, Like people can like gravitate naturally

1185
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 4: to what it is. But you know what, when you

1186
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 4: said that reminded me of when you're talking about the

1187
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 4: like the like the energy I heard you say about,

1188
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 4: like the leaky energy, And I think that comes from

1189
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 4: that too, Like sometimes people like what happens if you

1190
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 4: never get to the point of like wanting to do

1191
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 4: any of these modalities, Like what happens when the energy

1192
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:39,840
Speaker 4: gets so full?

1193
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,360
Speaker 1: Like yeah, people like what do they call it? Spent?

1194
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 1: Spin out? What do they call it right now? Like

1195
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 1: crash out?

1196
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,479
Speaker 4: But also like I think it shows up in ways

1197
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 4: that we don't recognize, like when men are like overly

1198
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 4: like overtly you know, like it's a leaky energy because

1199
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:57,919
Speaker 4: you haven't fine tuned yourself. You haven't taken the time

1200
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 4: and energy to fine tune whatever's going on inside of you.

1201
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 4: And so like I heard you say that then, like

1202
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 4: I've heard that before, and I was like, what the

1203
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:04,799
Speaker 4: fuck does that mean?

1204
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 1: Leaky ass energy?

1205
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 4: But now I understand it better, Like can you elaborate

1206
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:11,959
Speaker 4: leaky energy in what sense?

1207
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. I just saw some one of

1208
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:14,320
Speaker 1: your podcasts about.

1209
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 7: Just like energetic leakages. Yeah, so our energy, if we

1210
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,760
Speaker 7: think about it, it's like the strongest when we point

1211
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 7: and direct it towards something, but in our society it's

1212
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,319
Speaker 7: like pointed and directed towards a million different things. So

1213
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 7: for example, you wake up and you check your phone

1214
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 7: and then you voice note three friends, and then you're

1215
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 7: drinking your coffee, but then one of them sent you

1216
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 7: a voicema box, so you stop what you're doing listen

1217
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 7: to that voice not and then you kind of forgot

1218
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:38,799
Speaker 7: what you even just said. And then it's like this

1219
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 7: and now you're responding to an email and it's like

1220
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 7: all these fragments right, like even around voice snoting. So

1221
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 7: I was just in Guatemala doing this womb healing thing,

1222
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,399
Speaker 7: and the first thing the spirit was like stop voice

1223
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 7: dooting people all the time, because it's like, if you

1224
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,720
Speaker 7: think about it, it's like I'm in one time space

1225
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 7: reality and I'm having this thought, I send.

1226
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 1: It to you.

1227
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 7: You're listening to it hours later, and then you're in

1228
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,080
Speaker 7: what whatever you're doing. You don't see my facial expressions,

1229
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 7: you don't know, we're not we're not together. And then

1230
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 7: you're like trying to even like remember what I just

1231
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 7: said at the end of it, because I just talked

1232
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:12,400
Speaker 7: for ten minutes and then you're like, yeah, totally, and

1233
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 7: then you're just reporting back what's happening in your life.

1234
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,919
Speaker 7: And then I hours later am listening to that out

1235
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 7: of my reality and I forgot what I even said

1236
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 7: to you, And it's like these fragments, and it's like,

1237
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 7: that's what most connection is today. Oh, we've voiced on

1238
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 7: every day. It's not going to give you anything that

1239
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,279
Speaker 7: us being here in person making eye contact. Maybe sure

1240
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 7: there's bodies each other's energies.

1241
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 1: Is gonna do.

1242
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 7: It's like junk food connection. It's easy because I don't

1243
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 7: actually have to hop on a call and listen to

1244
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 7: you talk back. I'm just gonna word vomit all of

1245
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 7: my things and then you're gonna word vomit all of

1246
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 7: your things. But we're not actually connecting, we're not actually understanding.

1247
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 7: It's creating so much energy leakage in our world right now,

1248
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:55,239
Speaker 7: especially women, like we are more primed to seek connection. Like,

1249
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 7: if you think about it, when we were in tribes,

1250
00:55:57,040 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 7: like we needed to know what the whole tribe was thinking,

1251
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 7: and do you like me and I we're gonna get

1252
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 7: kicked out. But that's like really working against us in

1253
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,280
Speaker 7: the social world. Because you have a thought about someone,

1254
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,239
Speaker 7: You're like, I need to message them, and then it's

1255
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 7: like we're con Like the moment you sit down and meditate,

1256
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 7: it's I need to message all these people. It's like

1257
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 7: that survival part of our brain that's like if I'm

1258
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 7: not top of mind, if I if people don't like me,

1259
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 7: then I won't be okay. And so a lot of

1260
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 7: it is actually getting really clear of like who do

1261
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:25,360
Speaker 7: you want in your life, Like make who's your inner circle?

1262
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 7: You know, who are the five people you're actually really

1263
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 7: going to keep in touch with and invest your time

1264
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 7: and energy. Then who are like the ten people after that?

1265
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 7: And then and then maybe you have your acquaintances and

1266
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:38,280
Speaker 7: really being aware because I feel we have so many

1267
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:42,840
Speaker 7: of these like half sided, not really reciprocal friendships that

1268
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 7: we're just holding onto and it's just creating so much

1269
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 7: just energy energetic chaos. Plus the other thing about energy

1270
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 7: leakages is speaking about something that's still an idea that

1271
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:53,720
Speaker 7: hasn't happened.

1272
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 1: So when we let's say I have this.

1273
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 7: Idea of like I want to create like a vegan

1274
00:56:57,880 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 7: ice cream shop, and I don't know if I'm going

1275
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 7: to be a to do it. I'm in my head

1276
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 7: And then I talk about it to my mom and

1277
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 7: she's like, yeah, no way, have you seen brick and mortar.

1278
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 7: They're failing right now, And you know, she would smash

1279
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:11,919
Speaker 7: the idea down and then it would never happen. So

1280
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 7: so many people are like preemptively like asking for advice,

1281
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 7: you know, women, especially permissions.

1282
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, permission? What do you think? What do you think?

1283
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 7: When I started dating, I was like, I have no

1284
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 7: idea how this works, especially like I was like, I

1285
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 7: can't trust myself with the man, you know, So I

1286
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,960
Speaker 7: would just like, especially on these dating apps, I would

1287
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 7: like send the screenshots to like five of my friends.

1288
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:33,439
Speaker 1: What do I say? Yeah?

1289
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 7: What color is his aura?

1290
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 4: Like?

1291
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 7: What do you think about him? Like? And then so

1292
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 7: then they're all giving their feedback. So I'm having this

1293
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 7: conversation with him that five different people wrote. None of

1294
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 7: them are being me, and then I'm wondering why it's

1295
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,920
Speaker 7: not going anywhere. It's like, if you want a relationship,

1296
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 7: you have to be real. And that's been another huge

1297
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 7: part of what I've been learning right now is most

1298
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 7: of us start relationships with like he took me on

1299
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 7: dates and he got me flowers, and it's like putting

1300
00:57:57,240 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 7: the best face forward. So you think you're getting in

1301
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 7: a relationship with that, but that is.

1302
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 3: Just And then they're like, he love bombed me. That's like, no, bitch,

1303
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 3: you told rush, you said everything that you wanted, and

1304
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 3: then he did it, and then he was burnt out

1305
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 3: and now he's.

1306
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 7: Because for some reason our society, dating and relationships are

1307
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 7: two different categories. You date to try to win that

1308
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 7: person over. I'm on the date thinking what do you

1309
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 7: like so I can be it rather than an actual relationship.

1310
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 7: Is let me show you the shittiest parts of me,

1311
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 7: you know, because that is who you're going to be.

1312
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 4: We ship forward, you know, and so you're going this, bitch,

1313
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 4: so this, I feel like we should start dating. Ship forward.

1314
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 4: Lay out all your ship let me decide if I

1315
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 4: can handle it. Come up, come blank face, no mascarat.

1316
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 4: You know, honestly, a bad day after work, I want

1317
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 4: to do the date today.

1318
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 1: I've had a horrible day. Let's let's talk now.

1319
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 3: You know, I think going back two things because I

1320
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 3: want to get I want to get into you know,

1321
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 3: your journey and dating and celibacy before we get out

1322
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 3: of here. But then also I have to go back

1323
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 3: because you were saying how women need a lot of permission,

1324
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 3: and you know, this is something that we teach at

1325
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 3: our retreats a lot and talk about in depth that

1326
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 3: our retreats and on the show, and even more recently,

1327
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 3: I realized how I was asking for permission and not

1328
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 3: realizing even going on this experience for my birthday. I

1329
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 3: went to do this with Darkness Retreat and I started

1330
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 3: telling people like you think I should go, like and

1331
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 3: then everyone started like throwing their shit at me, like

1332
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:23,680
Speaker 3: what the fuck?

1333
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 1: Why would you ever want to do that? Like it's

1334
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 1: a cult. They're white people.

1335
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 3: Why are you gonna go in a hole in an

1336
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 3: organ They're gonna like they're gonna sell your organs on

1337
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:31,919
Speaker 3: the black market. Did you look at the highlight reel

1338
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:34,080
Speaker 3: They're looked like they were raising little cult babies. And

1339
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 3: I was like, holy shit, Like I like my first

1340
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 3: instinct was to go, like I had no fear, Like

1341
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:42,160
Speaker 3: I was just like God said, for some reason, these

1342
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 3: dates aligned and they happened to be on my birthday.

1343
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 1: It sounds like I must go.

1344
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:49,880
Speaker 3: And then I started asking for permission, and then I

1345
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 3: almost listened. And then when I was in the cave,

1346
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 3: I was like, fuck these people, Like I can't believe

1347
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 3: I almost let these people fucking like keep me from

1348
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 3: my cave, from my next awakening, and like I was like,

1349
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 3: how many times do people do this? And I know

1350
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 3: how many times people do it because I talk to them.

1351
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:10,040
Speaker 3: I coach them at my retreats all the time, you know,

1352
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:14,680
Speaker 3: And here I was, actually, you know, having this deep

1353
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,320
Speaker 3: lesson for myself, because yes, what I did was intense.

1354
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 3: I'm an intense person. I'm a fucking scorpio. Like what

1355
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 3: do you want from me? I'm I'm made for death

1356
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 3: and rebirth. That's what I do. And of course I

1357
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 3: shouldn't ask you, miss safety, whatever sign you are, like

1358
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 3: I should. I need to go and do this for myself.

1359
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 3: And I just think about how often we literally hold

1360
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 3: ourselves back from our next right of passage, our next awakening,

1361
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 3: finding our dharma by asking other people they what we

1362
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 3: should do with our lives, where like we're not even

1363
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 3: on the same path, We're on totally two different paths. Like,

1364
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,080
Speaker 3: of course this doesn't make sense to you, you know,

1365
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:58,920
Speaker 3: And so if you're listening and you're in the middle

1366
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 3: of making a decision for your like, just do it.

1367
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 3: Don't ask for permission anymore.

1368
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 1: Stop it.

1369
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 3: Stop asking your mom, who was always judged every fucking

1370
01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 3: thing you've ever done. Don't do it. Don't ask even

1371
01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 3: your best friend who has a problem being alone. Why

1372
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 3: would you ask someone who literally can't be alone if

1373
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 3: you should go be alone?

1374
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,920
Speaker 1: Of course they're going to tell you now. So anyway,

1375
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 1: I just had to say that I love that.

1376
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 7: Like, so, when I was really on the Dharmain discovery path,

1377
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 7: I went on advice detox around asking people what to

1378
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 7: do with my life because I would like meet someone

1379
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 7: and be like, so, what do you think I should

1380
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 7: do with my entire life? Like maybe maybe you know?

1381
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 7: And it was the same thing. I went to Bali

1382
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 7: and my my parents are these are all spiritual white people,

1383
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 7: like you're not like them, like, and I'm just.

1384
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: Like, damn, I've only had white hippie parents living my purpose,

1385
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 1: you know.

1386
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 7: But but thank god, eventually I was like, I'm just

1387
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 7: going to stop asking advice from everyone, you know, because

1388
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 7: the white hippies were like that was their own world.

1389
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 7: But then my parents were their own world. And it

1390
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:54,200
Speaker 7: was just like just really learning to listen to myself.

1391
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:57,320
Speaker 7: But more recently in August, it was around dating because

1392
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 7: I was that was my crutch of just like it's

1393
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 7: almost becomes a bonding thing with your friends too, of

1394
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 7: like after be the entertaining one because I'm single, you know,

1395
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 7: So I'm just like I was a.

1396
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 1: Little this guy that guy.

1397
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 7: What happened, and and it was just like just stop it.

1398
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 7: Literally the voice of the medicine was like, stop asking

1399
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 7: for advice, stop talking about it, and see what happens

1400
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 7: by February fourteen. So ladies, I'll let you know after

1401
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:21,720
Speaker 7: February fourteen, somebody that you're talking to right now, kind

1402
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:27,080
Speaker 7: of which surprisingly happened like right after that. But then

1403
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 7: I catch myself of wanting to ask for advice, especially

1404
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 7: for me. I love an astrologer, I love a psychic.

1405
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 1: I can always go to a site.

1406
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 7: You It was like nothing, no powder, napp. I was

1407
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 7: already on that ship. We're soulmates, by.

1408
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:45,919
Speaker 1: The way, is just saying so. But besides that, I'm

1409
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 1: so tempted. And it's like, because here's the thing.

1410
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 7: The Western astrologer told you something the Vedic astrologer told

1411
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 7: you something else, and then it's like it's just giving

1412
01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 7: up your power again and again. It's like the truth is.

1413
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 7: You know what was so interesting when I found out

1414
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:00,760
Speaker 7: I was being cheated on, I'm like fucking gritted this

1415
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 7: entire place. There's selen Nite, you know, all the crystals.

1416
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,920
Speaker 7: I'm friends with every top healer, psychic, seanan astrologery.

1417
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 1: This none of them told me this there like you

1418
01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 1: all don't know shit? Yeah, all my friendless fuck you.

1419
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:12,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1420
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 7: Then I was just like, how did you not see?

1421
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:17,040
Speaker 7: And they're like, oh, just must have been like.

1422
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 1: A hidden it was a shadow. Yeah, he was really

1423
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 1: hiding it good.

1424
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:23,840
Speaker 7: But that was like the humbling I needed of, just

1425
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:26,040
Speaker 7: like like if you are not meant to know something,

1426
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 7: you will not know, and you just have to. It's like,

1427
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 7: instead of asking the psychic and spending four hundred fucking

1428
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,919
Speaker 7: dollars on your sessions, wait like two weeks and you'll

1429
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:33,680
Speaker 7: probably just know.

1430
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 6: You literally.

1431
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 3: I just had this conversation with my mom because my

1432
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 3: mom has been going through a challenging time in her

1433
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 3: life and she's really like my connection to the esoteric

1434
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 3: early on in my childhood, like always, like Susan Miller

1435
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,400
Speaker 3: was like her God, and we were on astrology zone

1436
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:49,760
Speaker 3: at like aged eleven and shit, and she's been going

1437
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 3: through this time and like you know, she's like she's

1438
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 3: into it, but she's also highly critical. So I'm always

1439
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 3: like curious, like why the fuck are you even meeting

1440
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 3: with these people because you like kind of hate them anyway.

1441
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 3: But like she was like asking me for all my connections,

1442
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 3: like hey, can you ask can you get an appointment? Blah

1443
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:06,880
Speaker 3: blah blah, And then I was I got an apointment

1444
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 3: blah blah blah, and then like, hey, what about this

1445
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:09,960
Speaker 3: other one? And can you get me appoint with her?

1446
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 3: And I'm like okay, I got in front with her,

1447
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 3: Hey can you And then like after like six people

1448
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 3: in like six months.

1449
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:20,000
Speaker 1: I was like, mom, what are you looking for? Like

1450
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,840
Speaker 1: because every time I ask you what happened and you're.

1451
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:27,440
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, it's cool, yes whatever, Yeah, maybe I'm like,

1452
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 3: so what the fuck is the point? Like you need

1453
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:33,960
Speaker 3: to just sit with yourself and like, but I get it.

1454
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:37,560
Speaker 3: When you're in a space of extreme you feel like

1455
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 3: the world is like pulling the rug from under you.

1456
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:41,960
Speaker 3: You can't even you feel like you can't trust your

1457
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 3: inner voice, and so you need to you start seeking outwardly,

1458
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 3: when actually that is like the biggest time to go

1459
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:51,360
Speaker 3: inward like that is when you're probably going to get

1460
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 3: the most, the truest answer.

1461
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 1: And but I get it. It's like, is it the

1462
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:56,680
Speaker 1: true answer?

1463
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:59,520
Speaker 3: Like that was I was, I've I've gone astray before,

1464
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:01,240
Speaker 3: and it's like, no, typically you've gone astray because you've

1465
01:05:01,240 --> 01:05:05,040
Speaker 3: allowed other people to like help guide your life. And

1466
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 3: that really, I mean for her, I think that's really

1467
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:07,400
Speaker 3: what it is too.

1468
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:10,000
Speaker 7: And the answer hits different when you came up with

1469
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:12,040
Speaker 7: it yourself and someone telling you could be like the

1470
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 7: most simple thing. It's like, trust your gut. But when

1471
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 7: you had that realization after four days of silence, you're

1472
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 7: gonna listen to that versus some psychic, you're like, oh,

1473
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:21,160
Speaker 7: shouldn't really tell you anything.

1474
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,919
Speaker 4: Right, You'll forget, You'll roll over that real exactly first

1475
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 4: you don't know shit.

1476
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:27,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, So back to dating. I heard yourself of it.

1477
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:28,800
Speaker 3: How long has it been?

1478
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 1: Almost two years? Congratulation, crazy congratulation. Yeah.

1479
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 7: At first, I was like, you know, when I first

1480
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 7: we came saying like I was with him, so I

1481
01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:38,120
Speaker 7: was twenty four, So I was like, I'm gonna go

1482
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 7: for Chris Brown.

1483
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:43,360
Speaker 1: Miguel like, yeah, I know that toxic dank god.

1484
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:46,720
Speaker 7: I was like in my mind, I was like, I'm

1485
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:48,800
Speaker 7: gonna be wild and free, you know, And then I

1486
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 7: was just like, no, I also have you know, values

1487
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 7: and want to be safe.

1488
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 1: I know too much? Yeah, too much. But it was

1489
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 1: like almost, it's interesting.

1490
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:57,960
Speaker 7: I feel like what happens in to break up, you

1491
01:05:58,040 --> 01:05:59,640
Speaker 7: like go back to like all the ages that you

1492
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 7: were in relationship. I've seen that happen with a lot

1493
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 7: of people. So I like went back to like being

1494
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 7: twenty four of like, because that was the last time

1495
01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 7: I was single, So I didn't really know. I was

1496
01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:08,480
Speaker 7: just like, I guess, like you just go to the

1497
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:11,080
Speaker 7: club and come on there. Well, and going to the club,

1498
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:12,640
Speaker 7: I'm like, I don't think I would even talk to

1499
01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:15,800
Speaker 7: any of you guys. So that was an interesting journey.

1500
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,360
Speaker 7: But my womb spirit guys really protected me. They were

1501
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:22,520
Speaker 7: just like, we will not let anyone infiltrate the field.

1502
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:25,400
Speaker 7: So it wasn't this conscious choice by any means, and

1503
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:27,840
Speaker 7: it would just be like, honestly, I think I had

1504
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:30,919
Speaker 7: just gone so deep spiritually that in my head these

1505
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 7: things sounded like a good idea. But the actuality of

1506
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 7: someone who was like not attuned to my emotions, so

1507
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 7: I would probably never hear from again. I was just

1508
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:40,320
Speaker 7: like no, you know. And then the deeper I went into,

1509
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:42,440
Speaker 7: so I would say the first six months were like

1510
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 7: the rewiring of like how we see sex as like

1511
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:47,840
Speaker 7: intimacy and love and like closeness, and so it was

1512
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 7: like hard, you know. Also just like being around a

1513
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:53,640
Speaker 7: physic like a man, right, It was just like it

1514
01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 7: was just crazy to me. But after six months, I

1515
01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:59,840
Speaker 7: was like, wow, I feel so clear, And I started

1516
01:06:59,880 --> 01:07:02,080
Speaker 7: to realize how much the womb. Because the womb, it

1517
01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:04,720
Speaker 7: magnifies everything, it amplifies everything.

1518
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:05,800
Speaker 1: It's literally creates life.

1519
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 7: So I was transmuting a lot of what my ex

1520
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 7: was going through without even knowing it. For example, I

1521
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 7: had a driving phobia for years. It happened once I

1522
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:18,480
Speaker 7: was like driving a car in twenty nineteen and I

1523
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:20,680
Speaker 7: felt kind of lightheaded, and I had this thought of

1524
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:23,480
Speaker 7: like what if I lose control of the car, what

1525
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:25,640
Speaker 7: would happen? And I was like, saw myself imagine I

1526
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:28,040
Speaker 7: crashed this that, and then that really scared me. Then

1527
01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 7: every time I would drive, that thought would come up,

1528
01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:32,960
Speaker 7: and it became a phobia. Then COVID happened, so I

1529
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:36,120
Speaker 7: didn't need to drive a car, So for like three

1530
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:39,000
Speaker 7: ish years I did not drive at all. I would

1531
01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:41,680
Speaker 7: just take ubers and I remember thinking, I'm like, damn,

1532
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:42,880
Speaker 7: like if I have kids, what am I gonna do?

1533
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:44,400
Speaker 7: Just uber around with them?

1534
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:45,440
Speaker 1: Like I need to face this.

1535
01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:47,120
Speaker 7: But it was like that I would get like panic

1536
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 7: attacks while driving.

1537
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:52,920
Speaker 1: Once I stopped having sex with this man, driving phobia

1538
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 1: was gone. You're like.

1539
01:07:56,680 --> 01:08:02,600
Speaker 7: Drive through the Swiss Alps in the frozen Arctic tundra.

1540
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,400
Speaker 1: Like singing on Break Mine.

1541
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:09,320
Speaker 7: Again, and like it was crazy.

1542
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:10,840
Speaker 1: I was just like that, nothing happened.

1543
01:08:10,880 --> 01:08:13,840
Speaker 7: I was just like it was his own energy like this,

1544
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 7: and maybe even my own energy with him being out

1545
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 7: of control, like a psychic out of control, your life

1546
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:23,719
Speaker 7: could crash kind of thing. And so I started to realize.

1547
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 7: I was like, damn, like be really mindful of who

1548
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:27,920
Speaker 7: you let into your roomb space. Would you want to

1549
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:31,200
Speaker 7: become this person? Because you are going to become more

1550
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:33,920
Speaker 7: like that. So if I don't want to become like you,

1551
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:36,799
Speaker 7: I'm not going to amplify you because I am creating life.

1552
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 1: And then lets you come in me, come near me.

1553
01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:44,880
Speaker 7: So after a year, I was like, oh my God,

1554
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 7: like I and then I went so deep into just

1555
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:50,320
Speaker 7: like any kind of like sexual and relational shadow and wound.

1556
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 7: So I was just like after that, I was like,

1557
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:53,639
Speaker 7: and I learned this about myself of like I really

1558
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:56,160
Speaker 7: can't have sex without love, Like I need to feel

1559
01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:58,479
Speaker 7: that heart connection with someone for my body to open up,

1560
01:08:58,520 --> 01:09:00,759
Speaker 7: for me to feel safe, for me to like actually

1561
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:04,519
Speaker 7: unleash my freak, you know. And so I just kind

1562
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:06,640
Speaker 7: of decided like until I really feel a heart a

1563
01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:09,080
Speaker 7: deep heart connection, and the further along you go, it's

1564
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:11,720
Speaker 7: like that kind of raises of like actually wanting a

1565
01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 7: relationship with someone. And also I'm very deep into tantra

1566
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:17,240
Speaker 7: as well, and I'm just like I don't even like

1567
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:19,479
Speaker 7: guys that I've like made out with or whatever. It's

1568
01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 7: just like I can already feel like the It's interesting

1569
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:25,040
Speaker 7: because some men are amazing at dancing.

1570
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:26,679
Speaker 1: But then when you go a little bit.

1571
01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 7: Further, it's like this porn like disconnect thing that happens

1572
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,479
Speaker 7: in their brains that they just become like like running

1573
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 7: a machine like a program. And I'm just like, it's

1574
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:37,120
Speaker 7: just I mean, porn is such a huge epidemic with

1575
01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:39,639
Speaker 7: the men today, you know, And I really believe there's

1576
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:42,200
Speaker 7: entities that are coming through with the pornography that a

1577
01:09:42,200 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 7: lot of like priests, women are realizing and talking about,

1578
01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:47,320
Speaker 7: because if you think about it, they're like giving their

1579
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:51,280
Speaker 7: life force to you through yeah, not through not to

1580
01:09:51,360 --> 01:09:54,320
Speaker 7: you're giving it to these sex trafficked women who you

1581
01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:56,479
Speaker 7: know are against their will, and these really dark ways

1582
01:09:56,520 --> 01:09:58,839
Speaker 7: and a lot of these porn rabbit holes.

1583
01:09:58,920 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 4: You know.

1584
01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:01,920
Speaker 7: You start with like, I don't know, like a little

1585
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 7: bit of something kinky, and then it's like maybe you

1586
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:06,599
Speaker 7: like gangbangs, maybe you like trans hookers maybe, and it's

1587
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:08,320
Speaker 7: like gets more and more extreme, and then once you

1588
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:12,120
Speaker 7: see that thing, you're like you've become so stimulated by

1589
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:13,640
Speaker 7: it that you need more and more and more are

1590
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:15,519
Speaker 7: and then the shame that happens, especially if you grew

1591
01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:18,360
Speaker 7: up Christian or something, And it's a huge problem with

1592
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:19,679
Speaker 7: the men today, you know.

1593
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:23,800
Speaker 4: And they suppress these secrecy and like this exactly.

1594
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:26,920
Speaker 7: So what a woman taught me is like, wait three

1595
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:28,880
Speaker 7: months to have sex with the man, because it will

1596
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,520
Speaker 7: take three months for you to really see his shadows

1597
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:33,880
Speaker 7: and for you to really decide do I want to

1598
01:10:33,880 --> 01:10:36,040
Speaker 7: fuck with this energy? Or not, and so that's what

1599
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:37,519
Speaker 7: I've been doing. And most of the time I find

1600
01:10:37,520 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 7: out around six weeks You're like, it's when the stuff

1601
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:43,679
Speaker 7: comes out, and then you never regret not fucking them.

1602
01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:51,400
Speaker 1: Never ever. Anybody you wish you would have fucked me?

1603
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:58,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, like is there now I'm thinking, like, I mean, probably,

1604
01:10:58,040 --> 01:11:00,960
Speaker 4: but best because they weren't in my in my in

1605
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:03,880
Speaker 4: my like energy field for three months enough to know.

1606
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:05,840
Speaker 1: It's more like they were a distant person.

1607
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:09,800
Speaker 3: And I'm still like, I'm still fantasizing around what I

1608
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:12,880
Speaker 3: what it could have been. Like, No one I wish

1609
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:15,840
Speaker 3: I could have fucked that was in my stratosphere for

1610
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:18,320
Speaker 3: three months and then didn't know I.

1611
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:21,439
Speaker 1: Should give me some pussy. No no, no, no no.

1612
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:25,200
Speaker 3: Perhaps when I was like much younger and insecure or

1613
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,040
Speaker 3: something like, maybe he would have stayed if I would

1614
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:28,840
Speaker 3: have given But I probably did give him pussy because

1615
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:30,599
Speaker 3: I had way less boundaries.

1616
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:33,880
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I could have sat on Chris brown Stick.

1617
01:11:33,920 --> 01:11:37,040
Speaker 4: I'm sorry that he cheated on you, But up until today,

1618
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:39,040
Speaker 4: I was like, I should have done that, But now

1619
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,920
Speaker 4: I triedn't need to do that. Oh oh oh you

1620
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:43,800
Speaker 4: you wish she.

1621
01:11:43,760 --> 01:11:45,439
Speaker 1: Pulled it out and made out with him, and then

1622
01:11:45,479 --> 01:11:47,479
Speaker 1: he pulled it out. I was really young.

1623
01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:49,479
Speaker 4: I was like eighteen, and I was like and he

1624
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,280
Speaker 4: was really young too, and I was like in the

1625
01:11:51,280 --> 01:11:52,960
Speaker 4: back of a tour bus, and so I was like,

1626
01:11:52,960 --> 01:11:53,360
Speaker 4: this is a.

1627
01:11:53,280 --> 01:11:55,160
Speaker 1: Bit getting essential was the makeout central.

1628
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:57,000
Speaker 4: It was a good makeout, but it was also like

1629
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,080
Speaker 4: there's like there's these two girls that didn't know outside

1630
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:00,559
Speaker 4: the bus waiting for me. I felt like a hoe

1631
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:01,519
Speaker 4: and I was like, I gotta get out of here.

1632
01:12:01,520 --> 01:12:05,320
Speaker 4: For everybody thinks I'm a hoe. But up until yesterday,

1633
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:08,360
Speaker 4: I was like, she just did it. She just sat

1634
01:12:08,439 --> 01:12:11,400
Speaker 4: on it. But yeah, I'm fine. I've survived and I

1635
01:12:11,439 --> 01:12:12,120
Speaker 4: didn't need to do it.

1636
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:15,360
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Was before he had any of the best allegations.

1637
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:18,200
Speaker 3: Guys, this is this the first time you've been still

1638
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:20,200
Speaker 3: of it, like consciously in this way.

1639
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:22,679
Speaker 7: I mean, it's interesting because I do have a pattern

1640
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:24,880
Speaker 7: when I'm single, like I tend to it's just hard

1641
01:12:24,880 --> 01:12:26,960
Speaker 7: for me. Again, I'm such a romantic person.

1642
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:28,000
Speaker 1: Your Capricorn music.

1643
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:33,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, so there was maybe like a pretty much a year,

1644
01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:35,400
Speaker 7: but never two years in my life and to not

1645
01:12:35,439 --> 01:12:37,200
Speaker 7: even be in a relationship for this long. So that's

1646
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:40,599
Speaker 7: been really interesting, and I'm like, now, like it's at

1647
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:42,160
Speaker 7: first I felt like my arm was chopped off. I

1648
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 7: didn't know how to be without relationship. And now I'm like, oh,

1649
01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,360
Speaker 7: I see why women in their fifties are like, fuck it,

1650
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:48,400
Speaker 7: let's just live together. Like why I have.

1651
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:50,479
Speaker 1: A pink apartment. I'm like, how can I let this go?

1652
01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:50,960
Speaker 2: You know?

1653
01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:54,200
Speaker 7: But I do think there's this, like, you know, being

1654
01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:55,680
Speaker 7: single and doing all the things that I wish I

1655
01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:57,600
Speaker 7: could do, traveling, music videos, all the things. I'm like,

1656
01:12:57,600 --> 01:12:59,360
Speaker 7: I do feel, at least in my heart, there's just

1657
01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:03,479
Speaker 7: this special heart that is reserved for partnership that I

1658
01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:05,840
Speaker 7: just think is core to the feminine being of like

1659
01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:08,519
Speaker 7: we really are purposes, really are love, Like we are

1660
01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:09,360
Speaker 7: really here to.

1661
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:10,960
Speaker 1: Give and receive love.

1662
01:13:11,040 --> 01:13:14,080
Speaker 7: And I think that's the biggest issue in our lives

1663
01:13:14,160 --> 01:13:16,880
Speaker 7: right now, is like the feminine wants to give so much,

1664
01:13:16,920 --> 01:13:19,040
Speaker 7: and it's like to give to someone who's going to

1665
01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:22,040
Speaker 7: and it's not always going to be fifty to fifty reciprocal,

1666
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:24,920
Speaker 7: but like have a harmonious exchange. I have found that

1667
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:27,040
Speaker 7: to be the challenge and also too, like the feminine

1668
01:13:27,040 --> 01:13:30,280
Speaker 7: has risen so much so like especially in La it's

1669
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:32,160
Speaker 7: like we make more money than you. We're like more

1670
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,880
Speaker 7: on our shit, more of this, moret that. So it's like,

1671
01:13:34,040 --> 01:13:36,880
Speaker 7: what do you actually do you inspire me? Do you

1672
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:39,960
Speaker 7: anything for me? And so I see a lot of

1673
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,679
Speaker 7: women in myself like struggle with that of like, Okay,

1674
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:45,600
Speaker 7: if I am going to devote myself to someone, it's like,

1675
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,479
Speaker 7: are you the person worthy of me devoting to Yeah?

1676
01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:50,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh absolutely.

1677
01:13:51,400 --> 01:13:54,760
Speaker 3: I went on a celibacy journey and I recently ended it.

1678
01:13:55,040 --> 01:13:57,400
Speaker 3: And I've been with my partner almost for a year now,

1679
01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:58,080
Speaker 3: So you ended it.

1680
01:13:58,080 --> 01:14:00,439
Speaker 7: With your partner, Okay, I'd been a year mm hmm.

1681
01:14:05,760 --> 01:14:07,400
Speaker 3: We didn't have sex for the first seven months of

1682
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:11,200
Speaker 3: our relationship and I've never done anything like that. I've

1683
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,599
Speaker 3: never been like, yeah, this is my boyfriend and we've

1684
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:14,280
Speaker 3: never fucked.

1685
01:14:16,280 --> 01:14:19,559
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, is this Erica? Is this is you? Hello?

1686
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:22,560
Speaker 3: But I had come out of such a toxic relationship

1687
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:24,640
Speaker 3: and I did not trust myself. I did not I

1688
01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:29,639
Speaker 3: felt like I couldn't even imagine imagine like a penis

1689
01:14:30,240 --> 01:14:34,480
Speaker 3: approaching me, like getting even close to like my clothing.

1690
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:39,000
Speaker 3: Like I was just like, get a fucking way and

1691
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:41,040
Speaker 3: and so and he was also I think it was

1692
01:14:41,080 --> 01:14:44,200
Speaker 3: really helpful that he was also on his own celibacy journey,

1693
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:46,439
Speaker 3: Like way before even meeting me, he'd already been celibate

1694
01:14:46,479 --> 01:14:50,160
Speaker 3: for over a year, So us saying okay, we're in

1695
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:52,800
Speaker 3: this together was a lot easier because we could. There

1696
01:14:52,840 --> 01:14:54,880
Speaker 3: was a lot of checks and balances, like whenever there

1697
01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:57,760
Speaker 3: was a moment of weakness, like one person normally him

1698
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:03,120
Speaker 3: would He's a very disciplined man, would like, you know,

1699
01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,960
Speaker 3: recenter us, but you.

1700
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:07,800
Speaker 7: Choose a period of time like we're going to spend

1701
01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:09,160
Speaker 7: the first seven months of the relationship.

1702
01:15:09,280 --> 01:15:11,840
Speaker 1: No, there wasn't. We didn't. We didn't have a time

1703
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:14,080
Speaker 1: limit on it. It was like when we know, we'll know.

1704
01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:21,679
Speaker 3: And it was such a beautiful chapter in our love space.

1705
01:15:21,960 --> 01:15:23,840
Speaker 3: And like I want to say I miss it because

1706
01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:27,519
Speaker 3: I'm very much enjoying the sex I'm having, but I

1707
01:15:27,520 --> 01:15:32,320
Speaker 3: would say it deepened the relationship and the sexual experience

1708
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:36,280
Speaker 3: in a way that I've never experienced before. And creating

1709
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:39,880
Speaker 3: intimacy and really having to get creative with how you

1710
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:44,200
Speaker 3: share intimate intimacy with someone was like so profound and

1711
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:47,120
Speaker 3: it still keeps unfolding in our relationship in different ways.

1712
01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:50,920
Speaker 3: And I just like I think that so many women

1713
01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:54,519
Speaker 3: we give up our bodies so easily out of fear

1714
01:15:54,600 --> 01:15:56,280
Speaker 3: because we think if we don't, they're going to leave us,

1715
01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:59,120
Speaker 3: or even out of like just our own sexual liberation

1716
01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:02,080
Speaker 3: and like wanting to receive pleasure. I deserve this pleasure,

1717
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:05,759
Speaker 3: but it's like sometimes like at what cost though, because

1718
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:08,320
Speaker 3: when that person leaves or it doesn't work out, of

1719
01:16:08,360 --> 01:16:09,840
Speaker 3: course we all feel like shit, right, like.

1720
01:16:09,840 --> 01:16:10,920
Speaker 1: Why the fuck did I give him that?

1721
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:12,880
Speaker 3: Like I shouldn't have never done that, or sometimes we

1722
01:16:12,960 --> 01:16:14,360
Speaker 3: don't Like I've had times where I'm like, I don't

1723
01:16:14,360 --> 01:16:18,880
Speaker 3: regret it, fuck it, but I just I'm just I'm

1724
01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:21,439
Speaker 3: happy for you, and I'm really excited to hear like

1725
01:16:21,520 --> 01:16:24,439
Speaker 3: how how February fourteenth works out for you and and

1726
01:16:24,439 --> 01:16:28,439
Speaker 3: and beyond, just because I don't how powerful, how powerful

1727
01:16:28,479 --> 01:16:32,639
Speaker 3: that can be in rebuilding intimacy with with yourself most importantly,

1728
01:16:32,680 --> 01:16:34,200
Speaker 3: but then also the person that you choose to share

1729
01:16:34,200 --> 01:16:34,760
Speaker 3: your body with.

1730
01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:37,080
Speaker 1: So congratulations, thank you.

1731
01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:37,679
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1732
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:39,760
Speaker 7: So what practices where you guys doing to create more

1733
01:16:39,760 --> 01:16:40,880
Speaker 7: intimacy with each other?

1734
01:16:42,040 --> 01:16:46,080
Speaker 3: Just a lot like physically in the physical space, a

1735
01:16:46,120 --> 01:16:50,120
Speaker 3: lot of I gazing, a lot of just deep, deep

1736
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:52,920
Speaker 3: conversations a lot of just body work, touching each other,

1737
01:16:53,640 --> 01:16:57,320
Speaker 3: a lot of aff for like affirmation to body parts.

1738
01:16:57,320 --> 01:17:01,120
Speaker 3: I mean, I was we were we were playing with things,

1739
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:07,000
Speaker 3: but we were not you know, penetrating things. Created a

1740
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:13,479
Speaker 3: lot of safety too, just in sitting with someone and

1741
01:17:15,040 --> 01:17:17,960
Speaker 3: being so vulnerable, even being naked, and then like not

1742
01:17:18,360 --> 01:17:22,120
Speaker 3: wanting anything from you and like not crossing the line,

1743
01:17:22,439 --> 01:17:25,800
Speaker 3: truly not crossing the line, like created such safety in

1744
01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:28,240
Speaker 3: my body because I did not trust myself. I did

1745
01:17:28,280 --> 01:17:30,840
Speaker 3: not trust I didn't trust my choice in men. I

1746
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:34,200
Speaker 3: didn't trust my ability to say no. I didn't trust

1747
01:17:34,560 --> 01:17:37,000
Speaker 3: like even now, we had sex recently, and we have

1748
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:38,479
Speaker 3: sex all the time, but we had sex the other

1749
01:17:38,520 --> 01:17:40,200
Speaker 3: day and I was telling him like I really had

1750
01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:44,000
Speaker 3: to check myself sometimes, like when I'm receiving pleasure, I've

1751
01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:49,840
Speaker 3: noticed how I still perform and it feels good.

1752
01:17:49,840 --> 01:17:51,080
Speaker 1: But does it feel that good?

1753
01:17:52,360 --> 01:17:52,559
Speaker 2: You know?

1754
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:56,240
Speaker 1: Like, am I moaning really loud? Did I stroke his ego?

1755
01:17:57,160 --> 01:17:59,680
Speaker 1: It's not even him, it's my own. It's like my

1756
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:00,320
Speaker 1: own shit.

1757
01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:02,240
Speaker 3: I don't even know, like if it's makes me a

1758
01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:06,880
Speaker 3: better lover, if I'm louder, like I told him this, Yeah,

1759
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:09,120
Speaker 3: I did, was I wasn't telling him that he wasn't pleasing.

1760
01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,320
Speaker 3: It was just like I had this moment during sex

1761
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,679
Speaker 3: where I was like, it's just am I moaning?

1762
01:18:14,680 --> 01:18:16,400
Speaker 1: Why my moaning so loud? Is it? Is it equal?

1763
01:18:16,479 --> 01:18:16,559
Speaker 6: Like?

1764
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:18,839
Speaker 1: Is it equal the what I makes receiving?

1765
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:23,080
Speaker 3: I'm like just knowing how deeply ingrained the performative like

1766
01:18:23,120 --> 01:18:27,439
Speaker 3: sexual nature is to women and to me too, and

1767
01:18:27,439 --> 01:18:29,280
Speaker 3: and and then I asked him, like do men do this?

1768
01:18:29,520 --> 01:18:32,720
Speaker 3: Like do men like do you feel like performative when

1769
01:18:32,720 --> 01:18:34,920
Speaker 3: you're having sex? Like do you feel like And he

1770
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:37,720
Speaker 3: said not in the way like that you think. It's

1771
01:18:37,760 --> 01:18:42,479
Speaker 3: more so like like when I'm like making checking to

1772
01:18:42,479 --> 01:18:46,639
Speaker 3: make sure that I'm not taking advantage of like my pleasure,

1773
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:49,280
Speaker 3: like putting my pleasure before yours, and like using your

1774
01:18:49,320 --> 01:18:52,760
Speaker 3: body as like a masturbation a masturbation tool woman.

1775
01:18:52,800 --> 01:18:54,200
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I kind of like money use

1776
01:18:54,240 --> 01:18:55,480
Speaker 1: my body because.

1777
01:18:55,360 --> 01:19:01,400
Speaker 3: I like I'm kind of a sub but I get it.

1778
01:19:01,920 --> 01:19:03,640
Speaker 3: But yeah, like he was like, no, I don't. I

1779
01:19:03,640 --> 01:19:06,280
Speaker 3: don't think a lot of men have that same approach.

1780
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,360
Speaker 7: Even like they try to like disconnect from their pleasure

1781
01:19:08,520 --> 01:19:09,559
Speaker 7: pleasure to last longer.

1782
01:19:09,680 --> 01:19:11,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, whereas.

1783
01:19:11,320 --> 01:19:13,720
Speaker 7: We're trying to amplify the pleasure of like you know,

1784
01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:16,120
Speaker 7: and I do think it's like sometimes with moaning loud,

1785
01:19:16,200 --> 01:19:18,360
Speaker 7: it's like it makes you more turned on. And that

1786
01:19:18,439 --> 01:19:21,600
Speaker 7: may be where it's coming from, right, but only you know,

1787
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:23,400
Speaker 7: like to what level it's true for you.

1788
01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:27,000
Speaker 3: But like just like slow kissing for like two hours,

1789
01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:31,120
Speaker 3: like even not kissing, like doing a lot of close

1790
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:35,000
Speaker 3: intimate stuff and like never even never even taking it

1791
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:37,360
Speaker 3: to that and then like walking away and like that

1792
01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:40,880
Speaker 3: energy that's built is just like it's electric. I remember

1793
01:19:40,880 --> 01:19:42,760
Speaker 3: there was one time when we were first were I

1794
01:19:42,760 --> 01:19:44,800
Speaker 3: didn't even realize we were dating. He knew we were dating,

1795
01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:46,479
Speaker 3: but I didn't because I was still.

1796
01:19:46,479 --> 01:19:47,960
Speaker 1: In trauma mode.

1797
01:19:48,840 --> 01:19:51,000
Speaker 3: Like we just like sat there and like stared at

1798
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:53,080
Speaker 3: each other for like ten minutes, and we like talks

1799
01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:56,080
Speaker 3: a little bit in between, and then like he left

1800
01:19:56,200 --> 01:19:59,200
Speaker 3: and walked out of the door, and like slowly I

1801
01:19:59,200 --> 01:20:02,320
Speaker 3: could see him, like walking slowly really like taking in

1802
01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:05,800
Speaker 3: the evening and like all pensive and shit. And then

1803
01:20:05,840 --> 01:20:08,920
Speaker 3: like I would close the door and I was my panties.

1804
01:20:08,479 --> 01:20:11,760
Speaker 4: Were soaked, and I was like did I say myself,

1805
01:20:11,840 --> 01:20:13,400
Speaker 4: Like what the fuck is going through?

1806
01:20:13,680 --> 01:20:16,240
Speaker 1: I was like I literally think I just like I think.

1807
01:20:16,240 --> 01:20:19,880
Speaker 7: I like, yeah, well, in the Pamisuthroid they write about

1808
01:20:19,920 --> 01:20:21,640
Speaker 7: like one of the biggest things for women is to

1809
01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:22,320
Speaker 7: be it was.

1810
01:20:22,479 --> 01:20:25,519
Speaker 3: It was like an energetic orgasm that happened, like and

1811
01:20:25,760 --> 01:20:28,679
Speaker 3: I could feel like my womb pulsating and like nothing

1812
01:20:28,720 --> 01:20:33,439
Speaker 3: had happened except just like conversation, staring and like feeling safe,

1813
01:20:34,400 --> 01:20:36,160
Speaker 3: you know, and like is he very spiritual?

1814
01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:37,800
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, very much.

1815
01:20:37,800 --> 01:20:41,080
Speaker 3: And so it's it's and it's and I'm so happy

1816
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:43,160
Speaker 3: because I've been waiting for a man that I could

1817
01:20:43,160 --> 01:20:45,639
Speaker 3: even do these type of things with that would even

1818
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:47,680
Speaker 3: allow the energy to build in this way and not

1819
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:50,760
Speaker 3: violate the energy with like their shit, like okay, okay,

1820
01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:53,559
Speaker 3: that was enough, come over here, you know, you know.

1821
01:20:53,840 --> 01:20:56,719
Speaker 3: And so I feel very very grateful and very very blessed.

1822
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:59,640
Speaker 3: And I really wish that for all women like to

1823
01:20:59,640 --> 01:21:01,960
Speaker 3: be able to like create that sacred space with their

1824
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:05,479
Speaker 3: partner and find one that is willing to I don't

1825
01:21:05,520 --> 01:21:07,320
Speaker 3: want to say self sacrifice because at the end of

1826
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:09,400
Speaker 3: the day, like it benefits both of us.

1827
01:21:09,479 --> 01:21:11,240
Speaker 7: And did he know all this stuff before you or

1828
01:21:11,360 --> 01:21:13,360
Speaker 7: was it his first time experiencing not with you?

1829
01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,240
Speaker 3: I think none he knew it before me, But I

1830
01:21:16,280 --> 01:21:18,640
Speaker 3: don't know. I think we've both been waiting for a

1831
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:22,599
Speaker 3: person that we can fully put these things in practice with.

1832
01:21:22,680 --> 01:21:26,680
Speaker 3: I think we've had glimpses of it in relationships. We're

1833
01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:28,960
Speaker 3: both scorpios too, by the way, so it's like we're

1834
01:21:29,040 --> 01:21:32,120
Speaker 3: like just waiting for someone to be intense with that

1835
01:21:32,160 --> 01:21:36,599
Speaker 3: can match our intensities. And so I think that we've,

1836
01:21:36,680 --> 01:21:38,439
Speaker 3: like I said, like we've had glimpses of it, but

1837
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:41,000
Speaker 3: never fully expressed like this.

1838
01:21:42,040 --> 01:21:44,200
Speaker 1: So it's really beautiful calling that in.

1839
01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:46,639
Speaker 4: I was going to say, it's coming, it's on. It's

1840
01:21:46,640 --> 01:21:49,200
Speaker 4: absolutely on its way. When you are intentional about your

1841
01:21:49,200 --> 01:21:53,439
Speaker 4: pussy and intentional about yourself, it's like inevitable that, like

1842
01:21:53,600 --> 01:21:55,640
Speaker 4: the inner like the next generation is going to be

1843
01:21:55,800 --> 01:21:58,200
Speaker 4: everything that you desire because you've taken the time and

1844
01:21:58,320 --> 01:22:01,920
Speaker 4: intention to really manifest and really sit in the energy

1845
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,800
Speaker 4: of what that feels like and what that looks like.

1846
01:22:03,840 --> 01:22:05,880
Speaker 4: I think sometimes I was thinking about this as recently.

1847
01:22:05,920 --> 01:22:07,760
Speaker 4: Women are like I want him to be tall and

1848
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:11,160
Speaker 4: dark and handsome and six' five and have make over seven.

1849
01:22:11,200 --> 01:22:13,759
Speaker 4: Figures you, Know but it's, like but what does it feel?

1850
01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:16,240
Speaker 4: Like what does the safety feel? Like BECAUSE i thought

1851
01:22:16,280 --> 01:22:18,680
Speaker 4: about that a lot BEFORE i was with my. Lover it's,

1852
01:22:18,720 --> 01:22:21,639
Speaker 4: like what kind of like the love That i'm desiring

1853
01:22:21,640 --> 01:22:23,960
Speaker 4: Because i'm kind of a wild girl AND i THINK i.

1854
01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:25,920
Speaker 4: WAS i was like gonna be a hoe. Forever no

1855
01:22:25,960 --> 01:22:27,720
Speaker 4: one can take, it you, know And i'm gonna be.

1856
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,040
Speaker 4: JUDGED i talk about sex on the, internet but there

1857
01:22:30,120 --> 01:22:32,519
Speaker 4: was LIKE i need someone equally as, wild equally as

1858
01:22:32,600 --> 01:22:34,840
Speaker 4: like accepting equalis out of the. Box AND i would

1859
01:22:34,840 --> 01:22:37,120
Speaker 4: think about that energy a, lot like what does that

1860
01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:40,080
Speaker 4: feel like IF i had someone who's my friend and was, like, yeah,

1861
01:22:40,120 --> 01:22:42,360
Speaker 4: baby dance on that, table you know WHAT i? Mean

1862
01:22:42,439 --> 01:22:44,479
Speaker 4: and like that's really WHAT i called. In but it

1863
01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:46,040
Speaker 4: wasn't like what he looked like or how is he

1864
01:22:46,080 --> 01:22:47,439
Speaker 4: going to show? Up but it was like how is

1865
01:22:47,439 --> 01:22:50,200
Speaker 4: it going to? Feel to feel? Safe you? Know AND

1866
01:22:50,240 --> 01:22:53,760
Speaker 4: i think when you're intentional like you've, been you can't miss,

1867
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:55,559
Speaker 4: babe That february fourteenth is gonna.

1868
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:57,960
Speaker 1: Hit i'll keep you all.

1869
01:22:57,960 --> 01:23:02,640
Speaker 7: POSTED i can't, wait, Guys i'm still, solvent you.

1870
01:23:02,680 --> 01:23:06,519
Speaker 1: Know we'll. See we usually ask our guests to share an.

1871
01:23:06,560 --> 01:23:09,240
Speaker 4: Affirmation, wait, first pull a, card and Then i'm Gonna

1872
01:23:09,280 --> 01:23:11,719
Speaker 4: i'm gonna look it up when you share your, affirmation pull.

1873
01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:12,280
Speaker 1: A, card.

1874
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:26,799
Speaker 7: Permit and.

1875
01:23:29,120 --> 01:23:31,040
Speaker 1: Oh the three pednacles.

1876
01:23:31,920 --> 01:23:33,280
Speaker 7: H read.

1877
01:23:33,360 --> 01:23:35,800
Speaker 1: Me, no you can tell us your. Affirmation i'm gonna

1878
01:23:35,800 --> 01:23:36,000
Speaker 1: look at.

1879
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:36,439
Speaker 7: It i'm.

1880
01:23:36,439 --> 01:23:38,280
Speaker 1: Not i'm almost here a, queen.

1881
01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:42,120
Speaker 7: So my affirmation will be, trust, flow, surrender let. GO

1882
01:23:42,800 --> 01:23:45,280
Speaker 7: i find myself still saying that to myself in my

1883
01:23:45,320 --> 01:23:48,200
Speaker 7: head every TIME i try to future project and control

1884
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:50,320
Speaker 7: and figure. Out and if this doesn't happen by the,

1885
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:53,400
Speaker 7: state THEN i. Can't it's like trust to, flow, surrender let.

1886
01:23:53,439 --> 01:23:56,640
Speaker 7: Go i'm the One i've been wait, info, trust.

1887
01:23:56,360 --> 01:23:59,559
Speaker 1: Flow, surrender let. Go i've the One i've been wait,

1888
01:23:59,640 --> 01:24:04,479
Speaker 1: info Trust, somanda leg. Go i'm the One i've been wait. Info,

1889
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:05,320
Speaker 1: okay just so.

1890
01:24:05,400 --> 01:24:07,120
Speaker 3: You, KNOW i DON'T i know you don't know this about,

1891
01:24:07,160 --> 01:24:09,200
Speaker 3: us But memila are expert video.

1892
01:24:09,280 --> 01:24:13,200
Speaker 1: Hosts we have been in four music videos. Together we're a.

1893
01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:18,439
Speaker 3: Team, Melanie, Fiona, Duran, Bernard, Jessica, Rose, Lizzy Jeff.

1894
01:24:18,479 --> 01:24:20,639
Speaker 7: Lizzy you have with, us and we have a music

1895
01:24:20,720 --> 01:24:23,599
Speaker 7: video coming. OUT i wish you guys were in It

1896
01:24:23,760 --> 01:24:24,960
Speaker 7: Rising yes and you.

1897
01:24:24,960 --> 01:24:27,360
Speaker 4: Guys lizzie even wrote a line about us in one

1898
01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:28,960
Speaker 4: of her, Songs yes, song.

1899
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:33,000
Speaker 1: Smoking on that good bong listening to Good. Mom, YEA

1900
01:24:34,360 --> 01:24:34,800
Speaker 1: i love.

1901
01:24:34,880 --> 01:24:35,360
Speaker 7: That oh My.

1902
01:24:35,439 --> 01:24:37,280
Speaker 1: God shout out To Lizzie, jeff we Love.

1903
01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:39,960
Speaker 3: Lizzie if you haven't checked out our episodes With lizzie

1904
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:40,519
Speaker 3: and make sure you.

1905
01:24:40,600 --> 01:24:42,800
Speaker 1: Do they are top top tier.

1906
01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:44,920
Speaker 3: EPISODES i think we did a four twenty one and

1907
01:24:44,960 --> 01:24:46,920
Speaker 3: then just a random random.

1908
01:24:46,920 --> 01:24:48,000
Speaker 1: ONE i love the next.

1909
01:24:48,120 --> 01:24:48,920
Speaker 7: Video i'm hitting all.

1910
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:51,080
Speaker 3: Up, okay, yeah we're. Ready we're a team or a.

1911
01:24:51,160 --> 01:24:53,160
Speaker 3: Unit we only do videos. Together anyone.

1912
01:24:53,160 --> 01:24:55,200
Speaker 4: Listening if you have any videos dropping and doing some,

1913
01:24:55,240 --> 01:24:58,880
Speaker 4: casting just call. Us, yeah BOOKINGS a just feed us

1914
01:25:00,200 --> 01:25:04,240
Speaker 4: so it is our. PAY i just looked up The.

1915
01:25:04,280 --> 01:25:09,719
Speaker 4: Hermit this is very, interesting my. Dear soul, searching, introspection being,

1916
01:25:09,760 --> 01:25:12,840
Speaker 4: alone and inner guidance are some of the words that

1917
01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:13,920
Speaker 4: is for this.

1918
01:25:14,120 --> 01:25:15,760
Speaker 1: Card The hermit shows that you.

1919
01:25:15,800 --> 01:25:18,640
Speaker 4: Can you are taking a break from everyday life to

1920
01:25:18,720 --> 01:25:21,240
Speaker 4: draw your energy and. Attention which has.

1921
01:25:21,280 --> 01:25:22,559
Speaker 1: Happened i'm going to ask you to do.

1922
01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:25,160
Speaker 4: That The hermit shows that you are taking a break

1923
01:25:25,200 --> 01:25:27,200
Speaker 4: from every day life to draw your energy and attention

1924
01:25:27,360 --> 01:25:30,680
Speaker 4: inward and find the answers you seek deep within your.

1925
01:25:30,720 --> 01:25:33,679
Speaker 4: Soul you realize that your most profound sense of truth

1926
01:25:33,720 --> 01:25:36,200
Speaker 4: and knowledge is within yourself and not in the distractions

1927
01:25:36,240 --> 01:25:38,920
Speaker 4: of the outside. World you leave behind the mundane to

1928
01:25:38,960 --> 01:25:41,679
Speaker 4: set off on a journey of self, discovery led only

1929
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:45,200
Speaker 4: by your inner wisdom and guiding. Light now is the

1930
01:25:45,200 --> 01:25:47,439
Speaker 4: perfect time to go on a weekend retreat or sacred

1931
01:25:47,439 --> 01:25:50,800
Speaker 4: pilgrimage To, dubai anything in which you can contemplate your,

1932
01:25:50,880 --> 01:25:54,080
Speaker 4: motivations personal values and, principles and get closer to your authentic.

1933
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:57,120
Speaker 4: Self the hermit invites you to retreat into your private

1934
01:25:57,120 --> 01:26:00,000
Speaker 4: world and experience a deep sense of seclusion and. Interce

1935
01:26:00,840 --> 01:26:02,679
Speaker 4: you know that you need to take a journey alone

1936
01:26:02,760 --> 01:26:05,879
Speaker 4: or with a small antimate group of spiritual spiritually minded.

1937
01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:09,160
Speaker 4: People when you allow yourself to tune into your inner guiding,

1938
01:26:09,400 --> 01:26:12,280
Speaker 4: light you'll hear the answers you need and grow wise

1939
01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:15,400
Speaker 4: beyond your. Years find your, light shine in on your

1940
01:26:15,400 --> 01:26:18,200
Speaker 4: soul and create your unique. Path you'll see what lies

1941
01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:20,760
Speaker 4: ahead of, you not miles upon, miles but enough to

1942
01:26:20,800 --> 01:26:23,439
Speaker 4: know where to step. Next from, there take one step

1943
01:26:23,439 --> 01:26:24,960
Speaker 4: at a. Time shout out To Bitty.

1944
01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:27,920
Speaker 7: TARA i love that Because i'm going To india for

1945
01:26:27,960 --> 01:26:30,439
Speaker 7: a month. Before oh, really that would be my hermit.

1946
01:26:30,520 --> 01:26:33,680
Speaker 4: Time love. This see, now the cards never, lie do

1947
01:26:33,680 --> 01:26:34,879
Speaker 4: you want to hear The three pinnacles?

1948
01:26:34,880 --> 01:26:36,920
Speaker 1: Too, okay let's see that's not.

1949
01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:40,639
Speaker 7: It and it's funny because the thing that was hardest

1950
01:26:40,680 --> 01:26:42,920
Speaker 7: for me being single is being, alone, like and SO

1951
01:26:42,960 --> 01:26:45,240
Speaker 7: i would really sit with like why is that so

1952
01:26:45,439 --> 01:26:45,880
Speaker 7: hard for?

1953
01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:46,320
Speaker 1: Me you?

1954
01:26:46,320 --> 01:26:48,240
Speaker 7: Know and WHEN i would get to the bottom of,

1955
01:26:48,280 --> 01:26:51,280
Speaker 7: it was this feeling of like If i'm, alone LIKE

1956
01:26:51,320 --> 01:26:53,680
Speaker 7: i don't, EXIST i don't, matter And i'm, like why

1957
01:26:53,680 --> 01:26:55,200
Speaker 7: DO i feel like? That it's, like because If i'm

1958
01:26:55,240 --> 01:26:57,720
Speaker 7: not of service to someone, else THEN i don't deserve to.

1959
01:26:57,800 --> 01:27:02,280
Speaker 7: Live that was like the, deep unlike ancestral belief that

1960
01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:04,559
Speaker 7: probably so many women in my lineage.

1961
01:27:04,600 --> 01:27:06,599
Speaker 1: Act AND i was just, like of.

1962
01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:08,759
Speaker 7: COURSE i deserve to live If i'm not of service

1963
01:27:08,760 --> 01:27:11,400
Speaker 7: to someone. Else so the reason why WHEN i would

1964
01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:13,840
Speaker 7: feel that lonely, Feeling i'd be, like get On instagram each,

1965
01:27:13,880 --> 01:27:15,920
Speaker 7: chocolate get on a dating, out do something was because

1966
01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:18,200
Speaker 7: of that underlying core. Belief and ONCE i go was

1967
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:21,880
Speaker 7: honest and reframed, that it was just, like of. Course

1968
01:27:21,960 --> 01:27:24,200
Speaker 7: and then what it made me realize is like what

1969
01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:25,000
Speaker 7: a gift it is to be?

1970
01:27:25,040 --> 01:27:25,720
Speaker 4: Alone you.

1971
01:27:25,760 --> 01:27:27,960
Speaker 7: Know it's, LIKE i, mean you guys have have. Daughters

1972
01:27:28,000 --> 01:27:29,680
Speaker 7: but it's like it showed me in the. Future it's

1973
01:27:29,680 --> 01:27:31,519
Speaker 7: like one day you're gonna have kids and you're gonna.

1974
01:27:31,280 --> 01:27:33,720
Speaker 1: Wish you had alone, too, girl you.

1975
01:27:33,720 --> 01:27:41,000
Speaker 7: Know and here you are crying an organ to be.

1976
01:27:41,040 --> 01:27:45,080
Speaker 4: Alone that speaks volumes too about your lineage in. General

1977
01:27:45,080 --> 01:27:47,840
Speaker 4: when you're thinking about you, know your you're like the

1978
01:27:47,880 --> 01:27:51,000
Speaker 4: women in like in your family who have probably felt

1979
01:27:51,000 --> 01:27:53,599
Speaker 4: a lot like their purpose was their. Men and just

1980
01:27:53,640 --> 01:27:56,240
Speaker 4: like how many like years and hundreds of years back

1981
01:27:56,280 --> 01:27:59,480
Speaker 4: has that that that existed in your, bloodline this, patriarchy

1982
01:27:59,520 --> 01:28:03,720
Speaker 4: and you like like breaking that. Shit you don't this

1983
01:28:03,760 --> 01:28:05,519
Speaker 4: is not your purpose and you're not needed in this.

1984
01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:07,559
Speaker 4: Way you have your own purpose and your own, dharma

1985
01:28:07,720 --> 01:28:11,479
Speaker 4: which was probably so cluttered with shit because of you,

1986
01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:13,840
Speaker 4: know the patriarchy and like religion and all these other.

1987
01:28:13,880 --> 01:28:17,080
Speaker 4: Things but all, yeah but just, Cellularly, yeah on a cellular,

1988
01:28:17,280 --> 01:28:20,559
Speaker 4: level it's hard to break because. Painful, yeah that's a

1989
01:28:20,560 --> 01:28:21,599
Speaker 4: specific thing to come.

1990
01:28:21,680 --> 01:28:24,120
Speaker 3: Up it's like it's not when a crackhead goes into

1991
01:28:24,240 --> 01:28:27,120
Speaker 3: like like three have and they're, like you know how

1992
01:28:27,200 --> 01:28:34,200
Speaker 3: painful it is to like detox draw the, ship, like, yeah.

1993
01:28:32,560 --> 01:28:35,799
Speaker 4: The three of, pinnacles the, stone the stone mason couldn't

1994
01:28:35,840 --> 01:28:38,479
Speaker 4: build the cathedral without the help of the, architects and

1995
01:28:38,520 --> 01:28:40,559
Speaker 4: they couldn't build it without. Him each person has an

1996
01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:42,640
Speaker 4: important role to, play and when they come together as

1997
01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:45,439
Speaker 4: a team they can they can create something much more

1998
01:28:45,479 --> 01:28:48,400
Speaker 4: significant than if they were undertaking the project on their.

1999
01:28:48,439 --> 01:28:50,280
Speaker 4: Own so when the three Of pinnacles turns up in

2000
01:28:50,320 --> 01:28:53,200
Speaker 4: the tarot reading take it as a sign to collaborate with,

2001
01:28:53,240 --> 01:28:56,280
Speaker 4: others create synergies to achieve big. Results the three Of

2002
01:28:56,320 --> 01:28:59,120
Speaker 4: pinnacles represents the value of different ideas and levels of

2003
01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:03,439
Speaker 4: experience and. Collaboration the architects respect and specialized knowledge of the.

2004
01:29:03,439 --> 01:29:06,639
Speaker 4: Stones the stonemason and the stone mason appreciates the wisdom

2005
01:29:06,840 --> 01:29:10,360
Speaker 4: and experience of the. Architects even though their, backgrounds, experience

2006
01:29:10,479 --> 01:29:13,160
Speaker 4: levels of expertise are very. Different they can come together

2007
01:29:13,240 --> 01:29:15,919
Speaker 4: to share their insight in a way that creates synergy

2008
01:29:15,960 --> 01:29:21,759
Speaker 4: and improves the finished. Product so this card is all about, teamwork,

2009
01:29:21,840 --> 01:29:23,040
Speaker 4: collaboration learning and.

2010
01:29:23,080 --> 01:29:25,799
Speaker 1: Implementation february.

2011
01:29:25,800 --> 01:29:29,320
Speaker 3: Four maybe after your, Hermity, yeah maybe after your pilgrimage.

2012
01:29:28,760 --> 01:29:33,360
Speaker 1: And make a. Team but, YEAH i think it's like women.

2013
01:29:33,200 --> 01:29:35,040
Speaker 7: Are the ones who ultimately support each other more than.

2014
01:29:35,040 --> 01:29:37,920
Speaker 7: Anything absolutely you, know it's like and you're in so

2015
01:29:38,000 --> 01:29:39,960
Speaker 7: much for a relationship and romance partner and spend all

2016
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:41,160
Speaker 7: of our, time but it's, like at the end of the,

2017
01:29:41,240 --> 01:29:42,960
Speaker 7: day even when you're in the, relationship it's like your

2018
01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:44,599
Speaker 7: girls will understand you in a way that no one else.

2019
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:46,519
Speaker 1: Will, Amen i'll shay to.

2020
01:29:46,560 --> 01:29:51,639
Speaker 4: That, yeah women understand. Women, well thank you badass women

2021
01:29:51,840 --> 01:29:54,759
Speaker 4: for coming on our. SHOW i really appreciate your energy

2022
01:29:54,800 --> 01:29:56,519
Speaker 4: and your. Sharing can you tell our people where they

2023
01:29:56,520 --> 01:29:56,880
Speaker 4: can find?

2024
01:29:56,920 --> 01:29:59,320
Speaker 7: You, yeah so they can connect with me On. INSTAGRAM

2025
01:29:59,360 --> 01:30:02,599
Speaker 7: i am SAHAR i Have dharma archetype quiz to learn

2026
01:30:02,600 --> 01:30:04,599
Speaker 7: more about your. DHARMA i have dosha quizes as. Well

2027
01:30:04,680 --> 01:30:08,120
Speaker 7: they're all on my website i amsaharos dot. Com you

2028
01:30:08,120 --> 01:30:10,160
Speaker 7: can check out my podcast as. Well hi a, self

2029
01:30:10,280 --> 01:30:12,080
Speaker 7: so thank you all so much for having me. Here

2030
01:30:12,080 --> 01:30:13,320
Speaker 7: we'll also link my music as.

2031
01:30:13,360 --> 01:30:15,120
Speaker 1: Well, yes, yes we have, to.

2032
01:30:15,640 --> 01:30:17,639
Speaker 3: And y'all know where to find us At Good Mom's

2033
01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:21,599
Speaker 3: Underscore Bad choices On, Instagram Good Momsbad choices dot. Com

2034
01:30:21,680 --> 01:30:24,719
Speaker 3: check out our, retreats check out our merch check out

2035
01:30:25,040 --> 01:30:27,519
Speaker 3: all the, shit and make sure if you're listening to

2036
01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:30,240
Speaker 3: this On, apple which eighty nine percent of you ARE

2037
01:30:31,280 --> 01:30:31,800
Speaker 3: i need you.

2038
01:30:31,760 --> 01:30:33,639
Speaker 1: To go and leave us a? Review pretty pretty?

2039
01:30:33,640 --> 01:30:34,080
Speaker 7: Please right?

2040
01:30:34,120 --> 01:30:34,719
Speaker 1: Now don't.

2041
01:30:34,880 --> 01:30:36,720
Speaker 4: Pasco don't let someone text you and send you a

2042
01:30:36,800 --> 01:30:39,439
Speaker 4: voice notes so you forget leave the fucking. Review you

2043
01:30:39,479 --> 01:30:42,240
Speaker 4: listen to all this. Beautiful if you.

2044
01:30:42,200 --> 01:30:44,960
Speaker 3: Don't know what to, say just say. Whatever your favorite

2045
01:30:44,960 --> 01:30:47,679
Speaker 3: part of this episode is in the Review easy.

2046
01:30:47,479 --> 01:30:51,400
Speaker 1: Peasy thank, YOU i love, you and little talkson hye

2047
01:30:51,560 --> 01:30:55,000
Speaker 1: hie please, Yeah i'm?

2048
01:30:55,040 --> 01:30:55,559
Speaker 4: Good this so?

2049
01:30:55,720 --> 01:30:56,280
Speaker 1: Good can't you?

2050
01:30:56,439 --> 01:30:58,880
Speaker 6: SALE i went through with drought that's STILL i found

2051
01:30:58,880 --> 01:31:00,920
Speaker 6: a will may might have been On. EARTH i used

2052
01:31:00,960 --> 01:31:03,120
Speaker 6: to be broken, hell now got the blues in to

2053
01:31:03,240 --> 01:31:06,040
Speaker 6: like beyoncey just hell throat shot or pop in his

2054
01:31:06,160 --> 01:31:08,680
Speaker 6: car where in their, voices patriarchy kept it in the

2055
01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:11,639
Speaker 6: box to it's. Footage women put the pee and, powers

2056
01:31:11,680 --> 01:31:13,720
Speaker 6: so what's? Pointless they want me to be, good SO

2057
01:31:13,840 --> 01:31:14,519
Speaker 6: i mean bad.

2058
01:31:14,680 --> 01:31:17,479
Speaker 1: Choices bad. Mom not a bad, mom but a bad.

2059
01:31:17,560 --> 01:31:19,800
Speaker 1: Mom it's in the cannapus in their.

2060
01:31:19,880 --> 01:31:22,720
Speaker 6: Bath bon walked in bossls cap AND i blew his cat.

2061
01:31:22,800 --> 01:31:23,320
Speaker 5: Balls hot.

2062
01:31:23,439 --> 01:31:26,120
Speaker 6: Dog Now i'm immune to the cat called her being,

2063
01:31:26,200 --> 01:31:28,519
Speaker 6: no waisted straight to it like a dollar. Sign mother

2064
01:31:28,600 --> 01:31:30,479
Speaker 6: rent the lover when too with it's like a water

2065
01:31:30,600 --> 01:31:33,440
Speaker 6: sign where you're renting winter essential With when the, SUMMERTIME

2066
01:31:33,640 --> 01:31:35,400
Speaker 6: i do What god ain't no one that needs to

2067
01:31:35,479 --> 01:31:35,960
Speaker 6: run it by