1
00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.

2
00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:11,320
Speaker 2: Okay, so I have the amazing Cherie joining the podcast

3
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,399
Speaker 2: today because we had asked people to send in their

4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,599
Speaker 2: questions and Shuri is incredible, so obviously we wanted to

5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,920
Speaker 2: get her back on to go through these questions since

6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,360
Speaker 2: I am not an expert and she is so CHERI.

7
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:28,040
Speaker 3: Hi, so good to see you. Good to see you too.

8
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,000
Speaker 3: Are you doing good? Yeah?

9
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:35,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah good. I am like it's one of those

10
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:39,239
Speaker 2: things where I didn't realize how much I depended on

11
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,920
Speaker 2: the other person in my life to like help, you know,

12
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,880
Speaker 2: And it was one of those things where it's like, uh,

13
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:52,199
Speaker 2: I hired a nanny and she quit, and so now

14
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,040
Speaker 2: I have zero help. And it's one of those things

15
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,480
Speaker 2: where I'm like, I had just a total meltdown there night.

16
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, I did not ask for this to be

17
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:01,320
Speaker 2: like doing.

18
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,600
Speaker 3: This alone, you know, it's so hard.

19
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,360
Speaker 2: So I think I'm just like in a little funk.

20
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,479
Speaker 2: I'm being totally honest, but I'm.

21
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,920
Speaker 4: Gonna tell you though, I'm so sorry that she quit,

22
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,399
Speaker 4: but you're gonna get used to it.

23
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I honestly like, I don't even need anybody.

24
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,680
Speaker 2: I think I just needed someone and like for that

25
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:24,680
Speaker 2: first month just to like help me with like things

26
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,640
Speaker 2: that like you know, when I was struggling with like

27
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,200
Speaker 2: depression and stuff. But now I'm like, Okay, I really

28
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,280
Speaker 2: just need help on like I only really need help

29
00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 2: like maybe one day a week because the other day

30
00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:40,760
Speaker 2: is like Jolie's going to school and but yeah it is,

31
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,800
Speaker 2: but it's you know, it's just I have to Now

32
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,000
Speaker 2: I'm like the woman in the man of the house, right,

33
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,520
Speaker 2: so it's like I have to like, oh, crap, I

34
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,200
Speaker 2: forgot to take like I forgot to take out the

35
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,320
Speaker 2: trash can this morning, and like I'm like, yeah, you know,

36
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:57,400
Speaker 2: like those are things that like weren't my responsibility. Yeah,

37
00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,520
Speaker 2: and you know, I'm like I was calling one of

38
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,240
Speaker 2: my girlfriends, a Pamelin who I've had on the show

39
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,800
Speaker 2: a bunch. I'm like, like the air filters in the house,

40
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,000
Speaker 2: like I don't know what, Like I don't know what

41
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,600
Speaker 2: I'm doing. And then I'm like how often do I

42
00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,919
Speaker 2: have to? So it's like learning all the like things

43
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,880
Speaker 2: that usually a man would take care of. And again,

44
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,360
Speaker 2: like I like the fact that I can now do

45
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,000
Speaker 2: things on my time and like when I like stuff

46
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,160
Speaker 2: gets done around the house, which I love now because

47
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 2: I'm I'm in control of it. It's great. At the

48
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,200
Speaker 2: same time, the other day, my poor neighbor. I called

49
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,160
Speaker 2: one of my neighbor husbands and I was like bawling

50
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,640
Speaker 2: and I was just like, there's a sprinkler like spewing

51
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,680
Speaker 2: out and I don't even know who to call.

52
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,720
Speaker 3: And like the same day, like.

53
00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:47,119
Speaker 2: My water heater, like I was trying to give Jason bath.

54
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,800
Speaker 2: He's screaming. Jolie's crying about like because she didn't want

55
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,240
Speaker 2: to take a shower, and I'm like trying to turn

56
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,200
Speaker 2: the water on hot and it wouldn't get hot, and

57
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I can't, you know, You're just like

58
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:03,079
Speaker 2: to like the I was like, God, seriously, like I

59
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,240
Speaker 2: don't know how to turn the water heater back on.

60
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:06,680
Speaker 3: But it's like learning those things now.

61
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm like, I'm a total I'm a total

62
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,120
Speaker 2: catch because I'm a man and a woman.

63
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,359
Speaker 4: That's what I was gonna say. Seriously, because you can

64
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,640
Speaker 4: I've never met somebody who is so capable like you,

65
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,560
Speaker 4: who's just like running all the things. And we've talked

66
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,640
Speaker 4: about that even before You're getting divorced, so you can.

67
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,280
Speaker 4: And I think you're brilliant that you called the neighbor

68
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,239
Speaker 4: husband because I was gonna say, I did things like, look,

69
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 4: I know that I have an equal masculine and we

70
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,160
Speaker 4: all do and I can. I can do it all,

71
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:38,360
Speaker 4: but I don't want to.

72
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:39,440
Speaker 3: I don't want to.

73
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,800
Speaker 4: Take out the trash. So I started, like I hired

74
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,600
Speaker 4: man cleaners. So the man cleaners came to my house,

75
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,640
Speaker 4: all dudes, because I was just like, oh, it's testosterone around.

76
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:54,600
Speaker 4: It just has a different impact, you know, So task rabbit,

77
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,440
Speaker 4: runt a husband, they're all out there for these reasons.

78
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was.

79
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,520
Speaker 2: I had some I had a few people over in

80
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,560
Speaker 2: one of the guys the hut, like the husband's.

81
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,960
Speaker 3: I was like, they're like, you know, anything you needed

82
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:09,320
Speaker 3: me to do?

83
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,840
Speaker 2: And I was like, I mean, if you want to

84
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:17,480
Speaker 2: pick up the dog poop, like I'm like, and he's like, absolutely,

85
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,960
Speaker 2: where's the bag? So I'm like but yeah, but it's

86
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,880
Speaker 2: like some of those things, I'm like, I don't know

87
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,640
Speaker 2: how to do it. Having said that, I called my

88
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,480
Speaker 2: mom because my mom went through a divorce when she

89
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,039
Speaker 2: was well, when I was a freshman in high school,

90
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000
Speaker 2: and you know, I called her freaking out about the

91
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,039
Speaker 2: water heater, and I'm like, how do I relight it?

92
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,680
Speaker 2: How do I know if it's broken if I need

93
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,520
Speaker 2: a new one? I was like, you know, meanwhile, like

94
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,440
Speaker 2: Jason's screaming in my arm, because the last thing I

95
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,600
Speaker 2: wanted to do was like call my ex or calls

96
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,760
Speaker 2: you know, Like, I was like, I got to figure

97
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,960
Speaker 2: this out like myself, you know. So I called my

98
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,160
Speaker 2: mom because I remember my mom when my parents got divorced.

99
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,080
Speaker 2: She's fixing the washer and dryer and getting the part

100
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 2: and like getting dirty, like you know, like she's like

101
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,359
Speaker 2: she like she became the man too, and you know,

102
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:07,039
Speaker 2: to this day, she's like, you know, she lasts like

103
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,880
Speaker 2: her husband isn't like the handiest of men. So she's

104
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,440
Speaker 2: like she's like, yeah, she's like I can do all

105
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,800
Speaker 2: of this. And so she told me how to like

106
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,440
Speaker 2: relight it, and it was it was a nice little

107
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,160
Speaker 2: bonding moment, but it's it is very interesting and you forget,

108
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,320
Speaker 2: like you forget how much you do lean on that

109
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:22,960
Speaker 2: other person.

110
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I start to go.

111
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,680
Speaker 2: Oh, I hope, I like, man, maybe I should have

112
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,840
Speaker 2: been more appreciative of like those moments since then I

113
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,200
Speaker 2: start to like be upset about that, So I'm like, shoot,

114
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,280
Speaker 2: like maybe I didn't show enough appreciation before those things.

115
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,840
Speaker 4: There's another blessing for this whole thing, right there. I

116
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,520
Speaker 4: always talk to you about, like what's the good reason

117
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,520
Speaker 4: and what's the gift in all of this. You're just

118
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,400
Speaker 4: becoming a better human moment by moment, And this is

119
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,680
Speaker 4: like a note to all of us that we need

120
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,640
Speaker 4: to teach our girls these things, because I don't think

121
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,839
Speaker 4: it needs to be a gender role. It should be

122
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,680
Speaker 4: that whoever enjoys this task the most, whoever is the

123
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,719
Speaker 4: best person for the job, or whoever doesn't get diminished

124
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,360
Speaker 4: by it, you know, like I get diminished by taking

125
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,400
Speaker 4: out the trash or picking out the boop. So there

126
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,880
Speaker 4: should be a way to outsource to whoever would enjoy

127
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:18,239
Speaker 4: and not be taken out by these roles, not dependent

128
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:18,919
Speaker 4: on our.

129
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:20,360
Speaker 3: Gender for sure.

130
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,400
Speaker 2: No, I ended up even saying like I can't because

131
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,800
Speaker 2: I thought I was gonna be able to like keep

132
00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:27,480
Speaker 2: both dogs, you know, because I have the kids, and

133
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,120
Speaker 2: I was like, I ended up saying like I can't

134
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,239
Speaker 2: keep the dogs anymore. Like I'm like they're they're sending

135
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,839
Speaker 2: me over the edge. Like I have too much to

136
00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:36,039
Speaker 2: take care of that like the fact that like the

137
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,160
Speaker 2: dog dug up the sprinkler and broke it and then

138
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,280
Speaker 2: dug up underneath. I was like, I like, I don't.

139
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,680
Speaker 2: I don't have another ounce in my like or second

140
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,480
Speaker 2: in my day to deal and I felt I feel terrible,

141
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,560
Speaker 2: but at the same time and I'm like, I just

142
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,880
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't have them around right now because

143
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,200
Speaker 2: it's like the last thing I want is for me

144
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,800
Speaker 2: to be yelling at my kids because my dogs are

145
00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:55,880
Speaker 2: not pissing me off.

146
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,400
Speaker 4: No, sincerely, And I would take away the feeling terrible

147
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,960
Speaker 4: right now because I've said it to you before. The

148
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,360
Speaker 4: more you want to give, the more you need. And

149
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,280
Speaker 4: you have a high bar for how you want to

150
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,200
Speaker 4: run your business and your life and be a mama.

151
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,360
Speaker 4: And if the dogs are leaking energy and there's an

152
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,560
Speaker 4: equally lovely home for them to go to that would

153
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,360
Speaker 4: have you be able to be the mom you want

154
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,320
Speaker 4: to be, then that's a brilliant move.

155
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,040
Speaker 3: And I was thinking it kind of could be cute.

156
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,160
Speaker 2: To like surprise the kids with a smaller dog, like,

157
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,600
Speaker 2: you know, maybe Christmas time when I have time and

158
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,280
Speaker 2: I'm you know, I like want one dog not to

159
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,040
Speaker 2: and not that destroy right, you know, but then again

160
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,840
Speaker 2: a puppy wolf. I don't know, but maybe maybe I'll

161
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,520
Speaker 2: be in a different spot and you know, however, many

162
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,640
Speaker 2: months the way that is, we'll see. Yeah, yeah, okay,

163
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:47,040
Speaker 2: So Shari, we have some listener questions and I want

164
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:50,880
Speaker 2: to just dive in if that's cool. This is from Christina.

165
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,560
Speaker 2: I'm currently going through a separation and I'm going through

166
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,760
Speaker 2: a similar situation to Eu Jana and would love to

167
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 2: get your advice.

168
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:58,440
Speaker 3: A little background.

169
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,600
Speaker 2: My daughter is four and my son is nice eighteen months,

170
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,000
Speaker 2: and I have no idea what to say to my

171
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 2: daughter when I move out in a few weeks. Has

172
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,120
Speaker 2: Jana talked to Jolie about anything going on or why

173
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,600
Speaker 2: things are the way they are? If you feel comfortable,

174
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,480
Speaker 2: I would love to know what you have said to

175
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:15,360
Speaker 2: her or done to understand, help her understand, and I

176
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:19,320
Speaker 2: would love to sre like what I had said to

177
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 2: Jolie was I said, you know, mommy and daddy are

178
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,920
Speaker 2: are not going to be married anymore. I was like,

179
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,000
Speaker 2: but we're going to be great friends and we still

180
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,560
Speaker 2: love each other and we love you, and we're going

181
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,480
Speaker 2: to have separate houses, and so you're going to have

182
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,080
Speaker 2: a bet at Daddy's and you're going to have a

183
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,000
Speaker 2: bed here, and this is your home and that's your home.

184
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,840
Speaker 2: And like I just kept saying like we love you,

185
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,160
Speaker 2: we love you, we love you, we love you. And

186
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,040
Speaker 2: then I asked her, like, you know, is there anything

187
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,479
Speaker 2: you want to talk about or like do you have feelings?

188
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,480
Speaker 2: And the only thing that she I think she said

189
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,320
Speaker 2: it was like can I watch my iPad? Now? I'm like,

190
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,319
Speaker 2: like I didn't know if like I didn't know, I

191
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,840
Speaker 2: like it like a registered to her. But then my

192
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,840
Speaker 2: friends were like, apparently she's telling everyone that like mommy

193
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,960
Speaker 2: and Daddy don't live together anymore, Mommy and Daddy have

194
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:13,440
Speaker 2: like separate houses. So I it now I know that

195
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,720
Speaker 2: she gets it. And like last night was the first

196
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,960
Speaker 2: night that it was overnights and that was so incredibly

197
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,760
Speaker 2: painful because that was, yeah, the first time that I've

198
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,240
Speaker 2: experienced not having the kids in my home and in

199
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,560
Speaker 2: our house. And but I wonder, like, you know, is

200
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,400
Speaker 2: it something because I've talked to a few people that

201
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,200
Speaker 2: said that they send their kids to a place to

202
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,840
Speaker 2: you know, talk to someone about it or and it's

203
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,320
Speaker 2: so hard for me, and sure you like maybe for

204
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:48,360
Speaker 2: this other person too, like she gets excited about Dad's

205
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 2: house and like a part of me like dies inside

206
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,120
Speaker 2: and I'm like, that's great.

207
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,640
Speaker 3: Like, oh my goodness, you love your room.

208
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,280
Speaker 2: And then in my mind, I'm like, what do you

209
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,200
Speaker 2: want in your room? Do you want new bump beds?

210
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,240
Speaker 2: Like you know what I mean? And obviously I can't

211
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,120
Speaker 2: do that because I'm like, how do you do that healthy?

212
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,319
Speaker 2: Like obviously I would never like I'm always like, oh,

213
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,000
Speaker 2: that's great. I'm so glad you love it so much,

214
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,160
Speaker 2: but it kills me so help us out here?

215
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:14,960
Speaker 3: How do we do it?

216
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:15,160
Speaker 4: Ye?

217
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,800
Speaker 3: Did I do it? That's so normal?

218
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,440
Speaker 4: No, no, I think And you know, I'd love to

219
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,160
Speaker 4: just tell everybody.

220
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,559
Speaker 3: I don't think there's a wrong. There's no right or wrong.

221
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,200
Speaker 4: For each one of us, with our children who chose

222
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,600
Speaker 4: us in this life, We're going to go through this

223
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,600
Speaker 4: at our own pace in a way that with the

224
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,600
Speaker 4: best you know, with the best intentions, with all that

225
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,560
Speaker 4: we have to give. So I just I want to

226
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,520
Speaker 4: like have everybody take a deep breath about that. And

227
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:48,160
Speaker 4: I think it's different for every home. So what you

228
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,560
Speaker 4: did it was very similar to what I did is

229
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,280
Speaker 4: I think we did a slow, you know, a sort

230
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,760
Speaker 4: of slow transition, and I think that's always helpful when

231
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,679
Speaker 4: it can be slow. It can't always be, but to

232
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,560
Speaker 4: have the kids get used to they my kids were

233
00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:08,600
Speaker 4: already used to distance. Their dad didn't always he worked

234
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,120
Speaker 4: in la and so he wasn't always home, so there

235
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 4: was some slow getting used to not having him around

236
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,160
Speaker 4: as much. And then when we decided that we were

237
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,960
Speaker 4: actually going to separate and that it would that it

238
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,880
Speaker 4: would be permanent, we told them that we loved them,

239
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,120
Speaker 4: and the exact same way that you did, like drenching

240
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,520
Speaker 4: them with love. We both love you. We do still

241
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,679
Speaker 4: love each other, because I think at the end of

242
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,280
Speaker 4: the day, when you meet somebody, no matter what happens,

243
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,320
Speaker 4: like I went through a lot of hard times with him,

244
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,160
Speaker 4: but you can reduce, like a good reduction sauce the

245
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,240
Speaker 4: relationship back to the feeling that was there in the

246
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,920
Speaker 4: beginning that brought you together. And so we could genuinely

247
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,960
Speaker 4: say we love each other, but we know we're better

248
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,160
Speaker 4: as friends and we're going to have two households. And

249
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,920
Speaker 4: it was exactly what and I think what they need

250
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,600
Speaker 4: is as they're ready as they ask questions because it

251
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,640
Speaker 4: they never can absorb at all, and they really don't

252
00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:04,520
Speaker 4: know the impact that it's going to have at the beginning.

253
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,839
Speaker 4: But to tell them what's not going to change. Here

254
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,440
Speaker 4: are all the things that are going to stay the same,

255
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,760
Speaker 4: you know, and you can just lay it out in

256
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,199
Speaker 4: great detail, like you're still going to have your favorite

257
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,599
Speaker 4: and cheese. You know, you're still going to go to

258
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,559
Speaker 4: the same school. We're still going to have all the

259
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,000
Speaker 4: same friends, you know, all the things that they really

260
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,680
Speaker 4: wonder about. And then to give them a chance to feel,

261
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:31,480
Speaker 4: like you said, to grieve. If they need professional support,

262
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,200
Speaker 4: there are so many great humans that focus on little

263
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,040
Speaker 4: ones that can work on this with them. And maybe

264
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,960
Speaker 4: you go with them and you have some time to

265
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:45,080
Speaker 4: throw it together. They will show you if they need that.

266
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,960
Speaker 4: And I think you just being available for all the

267
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:53,199
Speaker 4: questions as they process, you know, your sense of confidence

268
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 4: in the decision and knowingness is going to be like

269
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,240
Speaker 4: a warm blanket for them. Yeah.

270
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,520
Speaker 2: I definitely hear that. And I'm curious too, because I

271
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,960
Speaker 2: have this a situation just arise and this is going

272
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,840
Speaker 2: to make me sound really like mean and probably bitchy,

273
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,920
Speaker 2: and I and I hate that and that I'm even

274
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,480
Speaker 2: going to like admit this, but you know, it's all

275
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,920
Speaker 2: about trying to learn a little growth here. But there

276
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,600
Speaker 2: was because you know, I'm in charge of like, you know,

277
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,920
Speaker 2: the kids schooling and this and that and the other.

278
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,760
Speaker 2: But a part of me and he was like, well,

279
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,480
Speaker 2: let me know when you know it's her first day

280
00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:33,280
Speaker 2: or this or that and the other.

281
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,199
Speaker 3: And a part of me wants to be like, it's online,

282
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:35,679
Speaker 3: look it up.

283
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,640
Speaker 2: Like why do I have to be in charge to

284
00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,480
Speaker 2: tell you when your daughter's first day school is or

285
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,160
Speaker 2: when her first half day or when she has to

286
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,040
Speaker 2: take Like I don't know why it bothers me, but

287
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,080
Speaker 2: like the bigger person than me should be like, hey,

288
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,599
Speaker 2: here's the calendar of all this stuff. But at the

289
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,920
Speaker 2: same time, I'm like, go online, it's online.

290
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:52,000
Speaker 3: Google it.

291
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a recipe for some resentment to build up,

292
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,280
Speaker 4: because if you find, like I did, go through I

293
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,000
Speaker 4: found I was absolutely doing everything the lion's share of

294
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,840
Speaker 4: all of it, you know, And I think in the

295
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,200
Speaker 4: beginning I wanted that control and I wanted you know,

296
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,800
Speaker 4: that freedom, and I knew I could do it. But

297
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,800
Speaker 4: after a while I was like, hey, sir.

298
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 3: Can you like take over dunist stuff?

299
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,439
Speaker 2: You know something well, and so I don't want to

300
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:20,400
Speaker 2: mean much of that. It's more like he wont like like, hey,

301
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,080
Speaker 2: I want to know when this is, but I'm like,

302
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,960
Speaker 2: it's it's public knowledge, like go on, go on their

303
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,400
Speaker 2: school's website and find it out. Like and so is

304
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,400
Speaker 2: it okay for me to be like hey or is

305
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,880
Speaker 2: that bitchy of me to be like to say like,

306
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:32,720
Speaker 2: this is what this is?

307
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,320
Speaker 4: And that is no, not at all bitchy. It's it's

308
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,800
Speaker 4: the bitchy part is saying this is giving more than

309
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,560
Speaker 4: I have to give. That's a need in you that

310
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,200
Speaker 4: you want to recognize and go, ah, that feels too much.

311
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 4: And to have your own back all the way along

312
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,480
Speaker 4: is the greatest way to get through this. To know,

313
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,040
Speaker 4: like what we've talked about this, you know, to put

314
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,640
Speaker 4: yourself to bed, to get extra support, to say I've

315
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,600
Speaker 4: that on me and I'm going to take care of

316
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,280
Speaker 4: me to get through this. So what it looks like

317
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,080
Speaker 4: is if you're in charge of education, Let's say you're

318
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:04,600
Speaker 4: in charge of.

319
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,720
Speaker 2: That, I mean all of it, doctor, yeah, all of it,

320
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,880
Speaker 2: the activities, you're in charge all of it.

321
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,880
Speaker 4: Too much until you don't want to be in charge

322
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 4: of all the things. You can say, I can take education,

323
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,320
Speaker 4: and I can happily give you the schedule and all

324
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,200
Speaker 4: the things related to education. If you can take doctors

325
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,520
Speaker 4: and other things like, think about the other things in

326
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,680
Speaker 4: their life that he could take over that you would

327
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:34,920
Speaker 4: gladly want to give up or bit by bit if

328
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,320
Speaker 4: you say, I can do all the school stuff, but

329
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,200
Speaker 4: I'm going to rely on you to keep yourself up

330
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,480
Speaker 4: to date on the dates. It's got to be what

331
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:46,000
Speaker 4: feels right. Don't try to like steamroll the feeling that

332
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,360
Speaker 4: that's telling you it's too much. I don't want to

333
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:53,000
Speaker 4: do that. Yeah, it's about making a deal, you know,

334
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,720
Speaker 4: Like if I do this and I take on all

335
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,560
Speaker 4: the updates for you and everything, then what about the

336
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 4: life like Kenny come and always be on poop duty

337
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,560
Speaker 4: when he comes to pick up the kids?

338
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?

339
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,880
Speaker 4: What parts do you want to give up so that

340
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,600
Speaker 4: you don't feel like you're doing at all?

341
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 2: No, that makes sense, Danielle. I am loving this vibe

342
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 2: and energy you have lately now that you're single. What

343
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 2: is something you enjoy more now than when you were married? Also,

344
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 2: how have the kids been doing this seems so happy

345
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 2: as well. Now that you're single, what is something you

346
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 2: enjoy more now than when you were married. Sure, it's interesting.

347
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:45,640
Speaker 2: I love my alone time, huh. And I have never

348
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 2: liked alone time. I love it, like love it.

349
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 4: If this was going to kick in when you were

350
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,360
Speaker 4: so worried about the overnights, and I know, it's really,

351
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,400
Speaker 4: really really last.

352
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,280
Speaker 3: Night was awful.

353
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,800
Speaker 2: It was terrible, and I think it was because it

354
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,040
Speaker 2: was the first time. But I'll get into a routine

355
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 2: of like, okay, like I'll do my like Bible study

356
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,280
Speaker 2: stuff on Wednesday nights or whatever, like.

357
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 4: Oh, beauty, you will your friends will be like, I'm sorry,

358
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 4: you are living the dream. You get every other weekend off,

359
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 4: you know, you.

360
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,240
Speaker 2: Start to get used to it, and I get that,

361
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,920
Speaker 2: and but then also I'm like, but I didn't want

362
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 2: every other weekend off. I didn't want every Wednesday off,

363
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,679
Speaker 2: you know. So it's like having said that though, because

364
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,880
Speaker 2: I do spend so much time with them, because I'm

365
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,000
Speaker 2: with seventy thirty is our custody seventy percent of the time,

366
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,680
Speaker 2: is like I need that, and now when I don't

367
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 2: have that, I have help.

368
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 3: I'm like Okay, I do.

369
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 2: I know I need that like day because I'm starting

370
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,600
Speaker 2: to get like short or I'm starting to like my

371
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,760
Speaker 2: you know, my my wheels need a little grease.

372
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,840
Speaker 4: And yeah, I think one hundred percent for anybody is

373
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,879
Speaker 4: really really hard, and a seventy thirty arrangement gives you

374
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:56,719
Speaker 4: this now ability to see who you emerge as in

375
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,639
Speaker 4: that space. I think space is vital for all of us.

376
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 4: Most of us don't get enough Srea.

377
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,280
Speaker 2: This next question I definitely want to talk to you

378
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,600
Speaker 2: about because I hadn't mentioned, I would say it's from Angela.

379
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 2: Last week on your podcast, you mentioned that you haven't

380
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 2: been happy and so long? Can you expand on that?

381
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,160
Speaker 2: Was it you just going through the emotions but not

382
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: truly happy? And I realized when I said that, I'm like, man,

383
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 2: this is going to come off harsh to people that

384
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 2: probably follow us, because I did, like I should I was,

385
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,720
Speaker 2: you know, I was, and and you know, the week

386
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:32,360
Speaker 2: that I found out everything, Mike and I both were like, man,

387
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,919
Speaker 2: we're so good right now, like we're so happy and

388
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 2: like in love and like and I did feel that

389
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,120
Speaker 2: having and then when I said, you know, I've been

390
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,679
Speaker 2: unhappy for so long, that I am that I am

391
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 2: open to having that new maybe potential partner because I

392
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 2: have been miserable.

393
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,000
Speaker 3: But and people are like, yeah, but you.

394
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 2: Want another baby, and I was like, I think I

395
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 2: said that because yes, like's it was a for seven years,

396
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 2: it was a struggle, like always wondering when the next

397
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 2: shoe is going to you know, like when the next

398
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,880
Speaker 2: explosion was going to happen, or and it was always

399
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 2: like this this constant battle and this constant work. And yes,

400
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 2: we had moments where we were happy and and I

401
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,919
Speaker 2: believed in the book that we wrote and I but

402
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,439
Speaker 2: there was also I don't think. I think all of

403
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 2: that stuff and all of the things that happened in

404
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 2: the marriage was such a weight on me that once

405
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 2: it was lifted, was like, wow, I was really unhappy,

406
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,919
Speaker 2: Like I was being held down by all that energy

407
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,239
Speaker 2: and it really affected like me, and like that's why

408
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 2: people now are like, oh, you look seem so happy,

409
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 2: and I'm like in light and like because I like

410
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 2: feel that way, and I'm like, oh my god, Like

411
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,560
Speaker 2: I actually was like really unhappy. But I was just

412
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,320
Speaker 2: like I wanted to I wanted to fight for it's

413
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 2: so bad because it was my kids, and it was

414
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 2: my family and it's like, God, this is what we've like,

415
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 2: you know, we were the good fight, you know, so

416
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 2: it's like, what a failure if I if like we

417
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,639
Speaker 2: don't end up together And it was just all this

418
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 2: like stuff, and I'm like, is is it possible to

419
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:13,400
Speaker 2: be unhappy but also coasting through and having moments of happiness?

420
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 2: Like because it confused me too even when I said.

421
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 4: It, Yeah, well it's a big admission. You know, we're

422
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,679
Speaker 4: all here trying to experience happiness in life. That's the

423
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 4: whole point of it, I think. And then when you're

424
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 4: not and you say it's been seven years, it's a

425
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 4: big it's a big thing to say, you know. And

426
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 4: I think it rocks people because we're all doing a

427
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 4: really good job on surface on social media looking like

428
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 4: we are, you know. But you were brave enough to

429
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 4: be honest about the weight. And I think that's it,

430
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 4: the heaviness. You're such a good coper. You are tolerating

431
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 4: and coping and doing your best despite this giant weight,

432
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 4: rise up and do all the things. And I think

433
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,159
Speaker 4: a lot of us are a lot of us, in

434
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 4: different areas of our life, can probably admit that there's

435
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,640
Speaker 4: there are a lot of obstacles and heaviness that we'd

436
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,399
Speaker 4: love to remove, and you just showed everybody that you

437
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 4: can and that it doesn't have to mean that it's

438
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 4: a failure. Because what I'm interested in seeing now is

439
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 4: what's possible for you in the lightness. You know, when

440
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 4: you give someone actually freedom like that what they need

441
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 4: and you remove fear and the stress. I think you're

442
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 4: going to see that your soul actually did call this

443
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 4: all in because who you emerge as and the amazing

444
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 4: amounts of love that are going to come into Jason

445
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,679
Speaker 4: Jolly's life, you know, through you, through Mike, through just

446
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 4: the extended community. Now you see neighbor husbands coming over,

447
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 4: friends coming over, like there's a whole lot added, not

448
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 4: just being lost.

449
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to, Ashley, I don't know,

450
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 2: she wrote she was Does Mike I feel sorry for

451
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 2: what he did?

452
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 3: Did he want to try with you? Again?

453
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 2: For so long now we have heard both of you

454
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 2: talk on the podcast about relationship and have gotten both of

455
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 2: your points of view.

456
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 3: You know, Hm, I think.

457
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 2: We both realized that it wasn't this relationship wasn't serving

458
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 2: either one of us, and I think there comes a

459
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 2: time where he knew that if something were to happen

460
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 2: to this extent that I said, I was done. And

461
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 2: for the first time in my life, I have threatened

462
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 2: it many times. I mean, you know, I separated from

463
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 2: him and I had to follow through with because if not,

464
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 2: I would have kept happening. And so I think I

465
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 2: think he realizes that. And I think here's something too

466
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 2: sure that I I think. I mean, he has said sorry,

467
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:04,680
Speaker 2: but there's something in me that I don't feel that

468
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 2: certain women actually get the sorry that they deserve. And

469
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 2: I told my therapist, you know, I was just like,

470
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:18,119
Speaker 2: if I got a sorry that really felt off, like

471
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 2: really just like and that that's what I've like, I'm like,

472
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 2: then I can like, okay, move on and heal. But

473
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, I will I don't think I'll ever get

474
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 2: that because I don't think people in that situation will

475
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 2: ever fully grasp what I actually and what other people

476
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 2: actually feel in that situation.

477
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, and may I hope maybe one, but I can't wait.

478
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 3: I can't.

479
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: I have I have learned that I have to walk

480
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 2: away knowing I'll never get the sorry that I believe

481
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 2: that I deserve, so.

482
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 3: That makes sense.

483
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 2: And that's really hard because I'm like, it baffles me.

484
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 2: I'm like, I would be on my knees, like you know.

485
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 4: But I think that just is evidence though that if

486
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 4: there was the self awareness and the health and well

487
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,160
Speaker 4: being enough to say a real.

488
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 3: Sorry like that, that.

489
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 4: You might not be here, you know, because then that

490
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 4: would suggest that person is really aware and deeply aware

491
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 4: and healed, you know, not going through the struggle. Like

492
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 4: I think I've heard those words. We've been divorced over

493
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 4: ten years, and I think I've heard attempts, but I

494
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:37,919
Speaker 4: still don't feel like there's a true awareness of what

495
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 4: this did and the pain that it caused. And where

496
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 4: I get my sorry, where I get closure and peace

497
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 4: is knowing that my soul called this in, knowing who

498
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 4: I've become because of it, Knowing that I work through

499
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 4: all my own childhood traumas through this man, that he

500
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 4: the perfect man to work it through. And you know,

501
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 4: the idea that we accomplished what we were here to

502
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 4: do in a ten year marriage versus a lifetime, Yeah,

503
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 4: sure that we did it.

504
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, we need to have.

505
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: Like I was talking to another girl too about this,

506
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 2: It's like we need to for the women that haven't

507
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 2: gotten sorry they deserve. I want to be able to

508
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 2: say like, I am sorry like that you had to

509
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 2: go through this, yes, because you like, hey, I want

510
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 2: that for you know. And it's like I would love

511
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 2: that if someone did that for me, you know. So

512
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: it's like there's something I think that could be really

513
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 2: cool around that.

514
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 4: For sure, beauty, you should because this is something I

515
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 4: actually learned a long time ago that you know, when

516
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 4: you let's got into a car crash, you wouldn't go

517
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 4: to the person who hit you in the car to

518
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,479
Speaker 4: put you back together.

519
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 3: You'd go to a doctor.

520
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 4: You know that we can go to each other and say,

521
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 4: I am so sorry that you're going through this. I

522
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 4: am so sorry for your pain and for the hurt

523
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,959
Speaker 4: when your kids leave, for their pain, and just do

524
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 4: a really good, generous I'm sorry for each other and

525
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 4: that is deeply healing.

526
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 3: It sure is. Sure, thank you so much.

527
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: I know you have to run, but thank you for

528
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 2: coming on and we'll definitely have you come back on

529
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: again very soon.

530
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 4: All right, I want to give you one more thing, okay,

531
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 4: on the note of the competition, you know, feeling like

532
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 4: I want my room or room to be better than

533
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 4: it likes, or I want to have a better time

534
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 4: here at my house. Just remember that this whole idea

535
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 4: that every child has two parents, there is only one, Jenna.

536
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 4: Those babies will only be able to get what they

537
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,360
Speaker 4: need from you, through you and the way that you

538
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 4: give it. So love on yourself for wanting to meet

539
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,159
Speaker 4: their needs and make them happy, like, oh, that's just

540
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 4: coming from a longing to give them the greatest life,

541
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:58,920
Speaker 4: which is so unbelievably dear, And then just root down

542
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 4: and know that Mike is Mike. You or you. They

543
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 4: called in you both and they're going to get all

544
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 4: they need from you.

545
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that. Thanks Serie. I appreciate you. All right,

546
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 3: I appreciate you, Honey. Talks soon, all right, talk soon,

547
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 3: all right.

548
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 2: We're going to take a break, and then why have

549
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 2: some more questions?

550
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: Hi?

551
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 3: Mark?

552
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: Hi?

553
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 2: First of all, how are you tell me about your

554
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 2: life because I'm kind of sick of talking about mine.

555
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: I'm fine, everything's fine here. We had family in town

556
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: over the weekend, and we made up for a year

557
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 1: and a half of an activity in one weekend.

558
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 3: So you're exhausted.

559
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 1: You know, when you lived in La I'm sure you

560
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 1: had this people coming to visit, and so you have

561
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: to do all of the touristy things and everything you

562
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: can imagine.

563
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: You know what I would do though, I would just

564
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 2: like get car and be like there's the Hollywood Walk

565
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 2: of Fame. There's like never get out, which is it's

566
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 2: a drive.

567
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 1: We got out. We did a dodgery game. We did

568
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: the beach, we did the Walk of Fame, we did

569
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 1: the Observatory, we did the Santa Barbara Zoo like we

570
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: were ever.

571
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 3: That's a that's a cute zoo q zoo.

572
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: We did the Brady Bunch House, the Golden Girls House,

573
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: the Back to the Future house wow in three days.

574
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I've never seen the Brady Bunch, this all

575
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 2: the other ones. So maybe when I come to LA

576
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: next week, you can do a round two and show

577
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 2: me a.

578
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: Rrady Bunch is great. Okay, the Future is great. They

579
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: look just like it. They're unchanged. Golden Girls was disappointed.

580
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: They've painted it, they put a fence up. They want

581
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: no part of the pop culture history that they're living.

582
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: And so that's too.

583
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 2: Bad, right, that is a bummer. Yeah, all right, do

584
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 2: we have any more questions?

585
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 4: All right?

586
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: Melissa asks, I also have just ended things with my husband.

587
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: It did not expect to feel lost and fused like

588
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: I do. We were together for so long and jured

589
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: every part of our lives together. Is there anything I

590
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 1: can do to feel like myself again without having him

591
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: part of my life? What does help you?

592
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: So I have redone pretty much the entire house. I'm

593
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 2: about to do the podcast room. This is the last room.

594
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 2: But I've I've sold a bunch of stuff on Facebook Marketplace,

595
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 2: and I have just rearranged. I gotten new pieces, and

596
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 2: I actually I sold my ring, and that money from

597
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 2: the ring was the furniture and the the new additions

598
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: to the house and like the new new chairs and this.

599
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 2: So that was like kind of my because I debated.

600
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna sell this ring and then

601
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna maybe buy myself something like a bag or

602
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: like my divorce present. And I was like, honestly, what

603
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 2: would make me happiest is to have new energy in

604
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: the house. And so I just I took that money

605
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: and then I gave it to my I heard these

606
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,479
Speaker 2: entire design ladies and said, this is the budget and

607
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 2: redo the rooms. And so it's nice to feel because

608
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 2: this is our house, and we made memories here and

609
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: and I needed to create a new space that felt

610
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: like me and felt like mine. And so now I

611
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 2: have someone actually over right now painting the bar room

612
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 2: and I'm going to make it this really cool, little

613
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: like girly you know, you know, wine bar, and so

614
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 2: I'm that's helped me a lot. And then also, I

615
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 2: mean I the first month, like I again, because I

616
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 2: liked that companionship. I was just you know, stared at

617
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: the walls and didn't move until I basically fell asleep.

618
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 2: But now it's like, okay, I'm gonna you know, call

619
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 2: a friend, or I'm starting to make my own traditions

620
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 2: at night and you know, I'm reading books or I'm

621
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: watching shows and and not and not letting myself kind

622
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 2: of sit there. So the more that you kind of

623
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 2: get yourself out and start doing things, you start to

624
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 2: feel like yourself. And then you're like, what do I

625
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 2: like to do? Like, oh, I actually enjoy sitting out

626
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 2: here by myself, or I like, you know, I like

627
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 2: catching up with old friends. So just I would just

628
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 2: find something that you try to create new spaces and

629
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 2: also you know, go through the emotions. But then also

630
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 2: figure out something that will make you happy and what

631
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: you want to do.

632
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 1: Sorry to jump back to this, Okay, the emotion of

633
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: selling the ring. Was it a get this away from me?

634
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: Or was it a pretty difficult thing or both.

635
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 2: I mean, it's the second ring I've had to get

636
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 2: rid of from him, because the first ring, I was like,

637
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 2: I will never put this back on my hand. And

638
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: so he had reproposed to me in Napa a few

639
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 2: years ago with this now new ring, and I took

640
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: every diamond he ever bought me and I sold them

641
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 2: because I didn't want to look at them ever again

642
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 2: because to me, like, for example, he brought me this

643
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 2: be beautiful, I mean beautiful. It's actually made me sad.

644
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 2: It's a beautiful bracelet for our book to congratulate on

645
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 2: the best time seller, and you know, just like you know,

646
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: he thanked me for you know, the work that I

647
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: put in in our relationship, and I wanted to keep

648
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 2: it so bad because it was such a pretty bracelet,

649
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 2: but it represented something that was not true, you know.

650
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 2: For it was true that I, you know, worked very

651
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 2: hard for the relationship, but I just didn't like the

652
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 2: to me, it represented our book and the and it

653
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 2: hurt me too much to keep that. So I mean

654
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 2: I took every ear ring, I took every bracelet, I

655
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 2: took the wedding ring, and I had my two girlfriends,

656
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: Shane Grimes and Sarah Gretzky, and we went to the

657
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: jeweler and I said take it, leton know how much?

658
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 2: And they yeah, you know, they called the guy and

659
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 2: it felt I mean, it was sad, but at the

660
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 2: same time, they could be the most beautiful things in

661
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 2: the world. But if it doesn't, what they represented made

662
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 2: them the ugliest things I've ever seen, right.

663
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: And they would It's almost like a curse or something

664
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 1: like every time you saw them, all these negative things

665
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: would come to mind. Getting them away from you, I

666
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: think is cathartic.

667
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was.

668
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 2: And then that's when I'm like, okay, and now I've

669
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 2: got this check and that was well, I'm like, what

670
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 2: am I going to do with it? Well, I'm gonna

671
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 2: represent you know that, have cleaned the house with it,

672
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 2: and get new new stuff, new furniture, and then get

673
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 2: rid of the other stuff because I don't want that reminder.

674
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: We get rid of the plane pictures behind you.

675
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 2: Yes it's actually someone just got that today on Facebook.

676
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 2: Mark Place for fifty bucks, so nice, and the food done,

677
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 2: so I've got a hole, Like this room is going

678
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 2: to look sick, it's going to look so cool. So yeah,

679
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 2: this is the last room that needs to be done,

680
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 2: so excellent.

681
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, Kyle says, I'm curious where you are

682
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: currently with your anxiety, with anxiety and myself and you

683
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 1: had said it has calmed down so much since you

684
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 1: went your separate ways. Has this kept up and do

685
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: you have advice for me and how I can call mine.

686
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 3: Relationally or like it was okay, So.

687
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 2: I mentioned this on the podcast a few weeks ago,

688
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 2: But my anxiety has been.

689
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 3: Amazing.

690
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 2: Like, I haven't really had anxiety. The one time that

691
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 2: I had anxiety was obviously the first day, the morning

692
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 2: of because when I was reading all the stuff on

693
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: like Twitter and Instagram, it was like China Grammar files

694
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 2: for divorce and it set me just like into a

695
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 2: tail span of anxiety and it was really really bad

696
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 2: and that was hard, and we talked about that previously.

697
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 2: But so since then, my anxiety has been great. It

698
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 2: only gets bad when, honestly, when when there's communication with

699
00:34:56,200 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 2: Mike and it's heated, it just it good brings me

700
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 2: right back to like those moments of just our relationship

701
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 2: and so limiting communication has been really helpful for my anxiety.

702
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 2: And then, honestly, like what helps for me is if

703
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 2: you're struggling, there's a lot of grounding exercises that you

704
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 2: can do sometimes, like I'll put my feet out, I'll

705
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 2: go outside and put my feet like you know, it's grounding,

706
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 2: like your literally your feet to the to the concrete

707
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: or grass or whatever. But there's a lot of tips

708
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 2: on how to ground yourself. And then, I mean, I

709
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 2: have no shame in it. I take medicine, and honestly,

710
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 2: though I was thinking the other day, I'm like, man,

711
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm I have.

712
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 3: Such a weight lifted up.

713
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 2: And then because I don't have anxiety and wake up

714
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 2: in the middle of the night anymore, like I almost

715
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 2: don't even feel like I I.

716
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 3: Need it anymore.

717
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 2: But I'm gonna I'm gonna slow step that because maybe

718
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 2: I'm just maybe that's just the beginning.

719
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 3: So we'll see. But just give yourself grace.

720
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 2: And I will say this too, don't hide from the

721
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 2: fact that there's been plenty of times when I've been

722
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:06,799
Speaker 2: afraid to talk to someone I'm like, oh, they're going

723
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 2: to think I'm ridiculous. I'm having a panic attack. The

724
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 2: more I say I'm having a panic attack right now,

725
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 2: like most of the times, people can be like, Okay,

726
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 2: how can I help you? And it helps me like

727
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 2: know that I'm all right, And I.

728
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: Think that that's a reason, like you were talking about

729
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: with Shari to send him the school calendar, you know.

730
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,359
Speaker 3: But it makes me feel bitchy though, But you can

731
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 3: do it.

732
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,880
Speaker 1: A different way, like you don't have to do it

733
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: bitch Like, here you go. I think this will help

734
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 1: you know whatever, try to spin it positively. But anything

735
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 1: that limits the communication I think is going to be

736
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: beneficial to you.

737
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yes, all right, Lauren.

738
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: How have you navigated learning the things your partner used

739
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: to be in charge of? Oh, we hit on this

740
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: a little bit earlier. For example, my partner was in

741
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 1: charge of maintenance around the house, and the other day

742
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: I had to fix a broken air conditioner. I had

743
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 1: no idea where to start. I want to learn to

744
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 1: do things on my own, but sometimes it's just too much.

745
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 1: It's been exciting or stressful or overwhelming for you. Are

746
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: there times you're stubborn asking for help from others.

747
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm like, I have the hardest time asking

748
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 2: for help, and you know, I think you have to.

749
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 2: I think it's one of those things. Is as hard

750
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 2: as it is for me to ask for help.

751
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 3: Well, I don't even know the best thing. I don't

752
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 3: even have help anymore. I need help, but you know, Okay.

753
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 2: So, for example, I was with Pamela on the other

754
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 2: day and I was like, I'm so stressed out. I

755
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 2: need help, and She's like, how can I help you?

756
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, no, no, I'm fine, and she's like,

757
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 2: you just said you need help. So I'm offering, like

758
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 2: saying like how can I help you? And then I

759
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 2: was like, well, okay. For example, like I need someone

760
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: to watch the kids next Friday because Mike's out of

761
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 2: town and I'm a town and I don't have anyone

762
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 2: that can help. She's said, great, what time do you

763
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: need me over there? I can bring the kids over,

764
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 2: And instantly I was like, oh, really, like okay, thank you.

765
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 2: But I'm like I don't want to burden any of

766
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 2: my friends too, right, But at the same time, I'm

767
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 2: like I'm I'm I'm at my like limit, Like I

768
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 2: feel like I'm going to have like a nervous breakdown.

769
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: Jackie says, You're doing it all and it's so amazing

770
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: to see. How do you juggle your kids, your work,

771
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 1: your friends, your family, and yourself and your healing. Where

772
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 1: do you put the priority and are there times you're

773
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 1: torn and what to focus on? Is this easier or

774
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 1: more difficult to do since ending.

775
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 3: Things with your Rex, I mean, I kind of.

776
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 2: It talks about that with Schui where my focus is

777
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 2: And I wrote this to an email with Mike. I

778
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,240
Speaker 2: was like, I need you to take the dogs because

779
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 2: they're setting me over the edge and my focus is

780
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 2: the kids and the kids only, and I don't have

781
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 2: I don't have a second at the end of the day.

782
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 2: I don't because I'm with the kids and then I

783
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 2: work when they go down. So by like ten o'clock,

784
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:54,879
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted. Do I want to go outside and pick

785
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:55,439
Speaker 2: up dog poop?

786
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: No?

787
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 3: Do I want to?

788
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I'm like I can't. I'm like, or fix

789
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 2: the sprinkler head that was just broken. Like so I

790
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 2: think it's about knowing like my limitations and knowing that

791
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 2: like I can't handle an extra set of two dogs,

792
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 2: and it's like I so again, maybe down the road,

793
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,439
Speaker 2: like I'll figure out a rhythm, but I'm not there

794
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 2: and I need and I need help. But I think,

795
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 2: you know, back to the question, which.

796
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: Was how do you balance it all?

797
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 2: It's hard to balance, but I think I'm just I'm

798
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 2: figuring out the new normal. I'm figuring out, Okay, what

799
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 2: can I handle and what can I not handle? Well,

800
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 2: right now, I can't handle the dogs, so they got

801
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 2: to go.

802
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 3: And you know that.

803
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 2: Some people might say I'm mean for that, but I'm

804
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 2: doing them a favor because honestly, I would love to

805
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 2: keep Waffles, but they love each other so much that

806
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 2: I don't want to separate the two sure Chance and Waffles,

807
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 2: so that's not fair for them.

808
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 3: So I'm actually being selfless and saying you're keeping them together.

809
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm with you. I understand how that could be.

810
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: There's always going to be one way thing too many. Yeah,

811
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: Jazzy says, your girl's trip looked like so much fun.

812
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 1: Did you have to get into the mindset of having

813
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: fun and letting loose or was that easy to get

814
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 1: into that mode? Were you nervous at all about how

815
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 1: you would feel? Yeah?

816
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 2: I was.

817
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 3: I thought i'd be I was. I thought I would

818
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 3: be a lot sadder, but I was.

819
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

820
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 2: It was fun, like I really like just had a

821
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 2: good time. And there was moments where I got a

822
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 2: little sad, but my girlfriends were like, snap out of it,

823
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 2: like you got this, like we're good, we're good, we're

824
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 2: having fun. You're letting your little girls out like like

825
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: you know, we're like or you know, like we're we're

826
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 2: we're doing this. And honestly, again, the only time that

827
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 2: I had a tough time was when I communicated with

828
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 2: Mike and Catherine took my phone and she goes, no

829
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 2: communication because I know exactly who you're talking to right now,

830
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well but like and you know, she's

831
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 2: like nope, he's not gonna like no, you guys are

832
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 2: not talking right now. So yeah, that was that was

833
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:07,320
Speaker 2: the only time that I had was the communication.

834
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: So did you get hit on?

835
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I still got it.

836
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know that's the whole point of the weekend.

837
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it felt nice.

838
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 2: It was Yeah, but then he lost me at the

839
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 2: he like we're at this bar and he's like, you know,

840
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 2: he was cute, he's tall, he was cute and like

841
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 2: he came up and started talking to me, and I

842
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 2: was like, all right, like I'm you know, I'm just

843
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 2: gonna enjoy the flirt. And he was like he was

844
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 2: cute until he was like, can I come to Nashville

845
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 2: and play the ukulele for you?

846
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I.

847
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 2: Don't really think a ukulele isn't really like a sexy instrument.

848
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 3: No, Like I think I'm good.

849
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I turned that one down. And then yeah,

850
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 2: there was one other one who was like so the

851
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 2: night of my anniversary or would have been my anniversary,

852
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 2: there was these like married men, all married and but

853
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 2: they were like fun, you know, and they they were

854
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 2: kind of like having fun with us, and they're like

855
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:26,720
Speaker 2: you should come on this yacht.

856
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 3: So that so that they sent over wine to us and.

857
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 2: We're like thanks, you know, and then after we got

858
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: done having our wine, they're like, come come sit with us,

859
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 2: and like they again they were like good guys. It

860
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 2: actually kind of made me sad because I'm like, you know,

861
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,760
Speaker 2: they're like showing me pictures of their wives and their kids.

862
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,840
Speaker 2: The one was like on the verge of a divorce.

863
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 2: So he was the one that started the like, you know,

864
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 2: the fun flirtatious thing going on, and you know they

865
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: were there was funny because they were all at the

866
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 2: table like trying to set me up.

867
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, what about this guy? Oh what about

868
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:56,839
Speaker 3: this guy?

869
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 2: Like, oh what about like my friend here, and they're

870
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 2: like showing me photos and I'm like, guys like and

871
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 2: then they're like, what about this guy.

872
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 3: He's got a big yacht.

873
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 2: And we're going on the yacht tomorrow. And I was like,

874
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 2: I Am not going on a yacht. I was like, well,

875
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 2: who's going these They're like, oh, these like twenty like

876
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 2: some like twenty girls, and like I'm like not happening,

877
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 2: Like I'm not, I don't care how much of money

878
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,320
Speaker 2: he has, like, and they're like, yeah, he's like a billionaire.

879
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't care.

880
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 2: It does not like genuinely like I am self made

881
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 2: and I never want to rely on a man or

882
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 2: anything Like I'm fine, I can take care of myself.

883
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 2: I don't need to like go on this dude's yacht.

884
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 2: So we end up my friend Pamelain ends up finding

885
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: her friend was in town and she was on a yacht.

886
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 2: Well it happened to be at the same yacht. Uh,

887
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:44,320
Speaker 2: you know, whatever harbor or whatever that they took off from.

888
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 2: So we are on another person's yacht and we were

889
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 2: texting the one of the guys and we're like hey,

890
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 2: like we basically see their boat. And the one guy

891
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 2: that they were trying to set me up with was like,

892
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: what are you doing on that boat? And I was like,

893
00:43:58,120 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 2: I don't need your boat.

894
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 3: I got my own boat. And it was like epic

895
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 3: because I'm like, dude, I don't give it. I don't

896
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 3: care like that. I'm like, you don't care.

897
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:13,439
Speaker 1: But what if he was an awesome dude? Like take

898
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: the money out of it?

899
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 3: I mean, we ended up.

900
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 2: I ended up seeing him at the They invited us

901
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 2: to drinks the night that I got hit on by

902
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 2: yukulele boy, and and he was he was very nice,

903
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 2: like very nice guy. You know, it wasn't it was again,

904
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 2: it was nice to flirt, but it wasn't saying yes, yeah,

905
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 2: well I.

906
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 1: Think that was the time for flirting. It's not time

907
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: to go past flirting, right.

908
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 2: Unless I meet someone that like I really like, I don't,

909
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,840
Speaker 2: I don't know, like I I'm open to it.

910
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: Good, Yeah, all right, I think we have one more.

911
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 3: He really is there one more, Corey.

912
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,280
Speaker 1: I need some advice on how to handle a touchy subject,

913
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 1: how I feel about it. I broke up with my

914
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: ex a few months ago, and I'm starting to feel

915
00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 1: like I want to talk to other guys again. I'm

916
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 1: more finding someone new and what my ex will think

917
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,720
Speaker 1: about me dating again. We share a little girl together,

918
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,359
Speaker 1: so he's still in my life and I don't want

919
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 1: any negative opinions to ruin potential data relationships. Do I

920
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 1: tell him first or tell him only when I'm in

921
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: a future relationship. Well this segues nicely to what we

922
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 1: were just talking about.

923
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've definitely like I don't want to know

924
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 2: who Mike is hanging out with. I don't want him

925
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 2: to know who I'm hanging out with. But when it's serious,

926
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 2: that's then the conversation to be like, hey, you know,

927
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 2: this person is someone i've been seeing for six months

928
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:36,839
Speaker 2: plus maybe whatever time, and there's someone that I would.

929
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:37,439
Speaker 3: Like the kids to meet.

930
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 2: I think you have to have that conversation and respect

931
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 2: your spouse or partner or whatever, because I would be

932
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 2: very upset if he introduced the kids to a girl

933
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:51,319
Speaker 2: without my knowledge, for sure, and we had a we're

934
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 2: very on the same page with that, So you know,

935
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 2: I think it's again one of those things where if

936
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 2: it's serious and you can see yourself being in a

937
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 2: long term relationship with that person and it's involving the kids,

938
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 2: that's when you should say something. But until that point,

939
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,800
Speaker 2: I don't think you have to say anything. None of

940
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 2: their business and all I don't want to know, So like,

941
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 2: only come to me when like you're about to introduce

942
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 2: the kids to the next maybe mom, stepmom, yeah, whatever.

943
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 1: You're going to date a lot of yukulele boys and

944
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend doesn't need to know about every one of them.

945
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 2: That's fine, exactly like me and are going to go

946
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:32,919
Speaker 2: out and yeah, like it's none of their business, is right.

947
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: Until the kids were involved? Then it becomes their business.

948
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:39,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know that person is essentially and you know,

949
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 2: whoever is in my life is going to have the

950
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 2: kids seventy percent of the time, So they're going to

951
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 2: have more time with my kids than their own dad,

952
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,320
Speaker 2: which I could not handle if that was the first

953
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 2: But I mean.

954
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a hard time with a thirty percent.

955
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 1: But we'll cross that bridge, will we come to it?

956
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want a hundred, but I guess it's not

957
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 3: fair for the kids.

958
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 2: I'm actually thinking about my children and it's very hard

959
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 2: when I'm like, they're my kids. Oh anyways, well, fun show.

960
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 2: I opened up about Miami.

961
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 1: That was fun.

962
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 3: Oh lord yeah, mm hmm.

963
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 4: Oh.

964
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 2: Also, my friends tried to get me to sign up

965
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 2: for a dating app and I went on there and

966
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 2: I was like, guys, I have had zero hits. And

967
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:32,320
Speaker 2: my friend's like, well, let me see the photo.

968
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 3: And they're like, because it's with you and your two kids,

969
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 3: and I was, oh gosh, what, I'm like, it's my kids.

970
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 2: My friend's like, you will not get any hits, and

971
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 2: I was like, well then, I like, then I'm getting

972
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 2: off of this thing.

973
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 3: Like then like if they don't like.

974
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 2: No, so I'm never I'm never going on a dating

975
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 2: app again. It lasted for one day.

976
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot about dating apps, obviously, but

977
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 1: I do think it's I think protocol is you could

978
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: include that as one of your sub photos, so your

979
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 1: main photo cannot be that.

980
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 3: But I'm a mom. I wanted them to know I understood.

981
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 2: I'm a mom and I love my kids, and I

982
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 2: thought I looked cute in the photo. But apparently like

983
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 2: I mean, like me, Jolie and Jay's like are really

984
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 2: rocking it, but like yeah, but no, I immediately got off,

985
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 2: like within that day. I was like, f this, Like

986
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 2: I'm not taking a picture of my kids down as

987
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 2: my main profile, because that is who I am.

988
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 3: You know, I suppose I see your.

989
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,479
Speaker 2: Side too, Like I see your side too, Like hey,

990
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,719
Speaker 2: but like I would want to know that they're a parent,

991
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 2: But maybe that's because I'm in this situation. So anyone

992
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 2: that's probably looking maybe the kids.

993
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 1: Saying hide that you don't want to hide it, and

994
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: it's just not the main first thing they seek because look,

995
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 1: they're going to be I already number three in your

996
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: life no matter what. And yes it's good to know that,

997
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 1: but no one wants to hear that the first thing. Wow,

998
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: fun swiping. I think swiping's fun just on somebody else's phone.

999
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great, But when nobody likes you back and

1000
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:10,720
Speaker 2: it really hurts the ego, like genuinely hurts the ego,

1001
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 2: and they're like, put this picture up and then like

1002
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 2: then you'll get a bunch I was like, no, again,

1003
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 2: I'm off this thing, like I'm if I'm going to

1004
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 2: meet someone you know.

1005
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 3: It'll be through friends or you know.

1006
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: Uh, that black and white Instagram photo from just a

1007
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: few weeks ago. It's going to get you a lot

1008
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,479
Speaker 1: of swipe rights on it, on whatever dating app you choose.

1009
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 3: I'm not doing anymore dating it. Okay, not happening. Oh

1010
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 3: my goodness.

1011
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 2: Okay, well now I'm blushing and getting sweaty, so I'm

1012
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 2: getting off now.

1013
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:38,320
Speaker 3: I love you guys. We'll talk next week.