1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,080
Speaker 1: I banned my husband's uncle from our house. My in

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,040
Speaker 1: laws are furious.

3
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,600
Speaker 2: I mean, family can be a little close.

4
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:12,080
Speaker 1: So I don't know my thirty female husband's thirty two

5
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,720
Speaker 1: male family are coming up to visit us. We moved

6
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,239
Speaker 1: away a few years ago for work. We were informed

7
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,960
Speaker 1: a few months ago that his aunt Becca and her

8
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:25,000
Speaker 1: third husband, John were also coming to unprompted third times

9
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,120
Speaker 1: a charm.

10
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,040
Speaker 2: By the way, this.

11
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,800
Speaker 1: Comes from hypnosis Pancakes on the Arslas shokey storytime separated.

12
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:37,360
Speaker 1: So we don't like John, John, John, just laugh.

13
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,040
Speaker 2: We don't like John. We don't like John.

14
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:43,840
Speaker 1: To put it plainly, he's a narcissistic alea. And recently

15
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,600
Speaker 1: it came to light that there was a court case

16
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,200
Speaker 1: that named him as a perpetrator of Can I say

17
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 1: that grooming?

18
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:54,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, like hair stuff, okay, perpetrator.

19
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,520
Speaker 2: Of grooming one of his students in the seventies to eighties.

20
00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,320
Speaker 3: Was that even a thing back then?

21
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,840
Speaker 2: Yes, it was a huge thing back then. It was

22
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:02,920
Speaker 2: even more of a thing back that.

23
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:07,320
Speaker 3: He was legal back then, and concussions weren't a thing either.

24
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:09,720
Speaker 3: I don't know if it was one of the things

25
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,920
Speaker 3: things that didn't like, really like were a thing.

26
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,560
Speaker 2: I means a huge thing. It just got people. I

27
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:18,880
Speaker 2: think a lot of things still do.

28
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,000
Speaker 1: He tried to soften the blow by saying it was

29
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,119
Speaker 1: a relationship gross, but the victim won the civil case.

30
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:26,920
Speaker 3: You go girl.

31
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:31,319
Speaker 1: No criminal chargers were ever filed against him. Becca put

32
00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,440
Speaker 1: her foot down that if the family wanted a relationship

33
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,760
Speaker 1: with her, they had to accept that John was a

34
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,280
Speaker 1: part of it. Maybe they don't want a relationship with Becca,

35
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,120
Speaker 1: and being such a close family, my in laws went

36
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,480
Speaker 1: along with that. My husband and I have successfully avoided

37
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:48,120
Speaker 1: major interactions with him after things came to light, but

38
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,440
Speaker 1: now they're coming straight to us and piggybacking off the

39
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,720
Speaker 1: in law's visiting. At first, we thought we could sidestep

40
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,720
Speaker 1: the interaction, plan dinner at our place before they arrived,

41
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 1: go out instead, or just be busy, et cetera. But

42
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,800
Speaker 1: when planning for their trip, they are insisting that Becka

43
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,960
Speaker 1: and John need to come to our house for dinner

44
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,480
Speaker 1: and they are coming up to see us. Oh, my

45
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,639
Speaker 1: husband and I now know we need to place boundaries

46
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,480
Speaker 1: and they need to be done now. We want to

47
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,240
Speaker 1: sit down his parents and state firmly that John is

48
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,920
Speaker 1: not welcome in our home. Any advice for things to

49
00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,639
Speaker 1: say in this conversation or advice from anyone that has

50
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,080
Speaker 1: had to do the same. I have caught off family

51
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,320
Speaker 1: for the same situation, but I was never the one

52
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,840
Speaker 1: leading the conversation and my husband is stressed and worried

53
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,240
Speaker 1: about a hymn versus John scenario. Thanks for the advice

54
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,560
Speaker 1: in advance, and there is an update Bill.

55
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,440
Speaker 2: Ooh, this is tough.

56
00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:43,960
Speaker 1: I think it's very I think it's super fair that

57
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,280
Speaker 1: opian Opie's husband don't want John there. Yeah, because yeah,

58
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,480
Speaker 1: you don't want like a boundaries. Yeah, you don't want

59
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,680
Speaker 1: someone like that around you and in your house.

60
00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,000
Speaker 2: You.

61
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,000
Speaker 1: I think, in terms of how to approach that conversation,

62
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,680
Speaker 1: I think just saying talking to yeah the husband's parents

63
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:10,000
Speaker 1: and saying, hey, based off of John's past history, we

64
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,280
Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable being around him. We would still love

65
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:18,520
Speaker 1: to have you guys over but if the draws or

66
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,560
Speaker 1: if you know, the line that you're putting in the

67
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,360
Speaker 1: sand is John, then you have to understand that we

68
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,680
Speaker 1: cannot have him over here.

69
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:25,720
Speaker 2: That's tough. I don't know.

70
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,240
Speaker 1: I think it's it's either their they're feeling uncomfortable and

71
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,880
Speaker 1: have everyone over and just kind of push their feelings

72
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,360
Speaker 1: to the side, yeah, or you know, they have to

73
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,120
Speaker 1: set that boundary.

74
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,320
Speaker 2: I think boundaries are good. I think, like you know,

75
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,640
Speaker 2: my family's got some some weird dynamics, and I think

76
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:50,440
Speaker 2: there's certain one person that you know, my mom in particular,

77
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,960
Speaker 2: would it want around. And I don't think a conversation

78
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,120
Speaker 2: has had I just think that the past has kind

79
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,400
Speaker 2: of shown like this is not going to work. Yeah,

80
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,400
Speaker 2: which is maybe not the most mature way to go

81
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,320
Speaker 2: about it. Oh, I think that is a common way

82
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,320
Speaker 2: because nobody likes confrontation, right, Like, setting boundaries is really tough,

83
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,640
Speaker 2: and I think there's no easy way to do it.

84
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:10,720
Speaker 3: No way.

85
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,280
Speaker 1: You just have to say it. And if the parents

86
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,360
Speaker 1: don't understand, then they're putting John's feelings over their own

87
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,160
Speaker 1: son's feelings.

88
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,960
Speaker 2: Yeah in that case. Yeah, but there is an update. Oh,

89
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:25,279
Speaker 2: let's hear it. Yeah, let's hear it. See what they do. Update.

90
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,800
Speaker 1: Thank you to everyone for their advice on the original

91
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,479
Speaker 1: post and also giving us the push we needed to

92
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:34,000
Speaker 1: be firm with our boundaries. I wanted to clarify some

93
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,000
Speaker 1: questions I saw in the original post before going into

94
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,800
Speaker 1: the update. Firstly, my husband was one the one leading

95
00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,159
Speaker 1: the conversation with his family. We created the post together,

96
00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 1: so the wording was ambiguous. I was there for support,

97
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,800
Speaker 1: but not the one managing the conversation. Second, a few

98
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:52,920
Speaker 1: people were asking how we even got to the point

99
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,200
Speaker 1: of Becca and John coming along. There is more in

100
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,359
Speaker 1: the update, but originally it was only supposed to be

101
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,240
Speaker 1: three family members for the visit, so we had everything

102
00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:05,000
Speaker 1: planned for them already. The day I made the post,

103
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,640
Speaker 1: it was mentioned that Becca and John were coming to

104
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,240
Speaker 1: to which we said no, point blank. But one family

105
00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,120
Speaker 1: member in particular did not like that and started to

106
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,640
Speaker 1: cause trouble.

107
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,000
Speaker 2: Okay, well, who is this? Who was it? Who is

108
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,840
Speaker 2: this player entering? Yeah, entering the the.

109
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,720
Speaker 3: Gag arena arena.

110
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,160
Speaker 1: The court settlement happened within the last Oh wait, who's

111
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,719
Speaker 1: this player entering the villa?

112
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:39,640
Speaker 2: Bombshell? What? Okay? You need to get on your Love

113
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,520
Speaker 2: Island game over?

114
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:41,960
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

115
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,039
Speaker 1: The court settlement happened within the last five years. The

116
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,920
Speaker 1: dates of the grooming occurred as late as nineteen ninety.

117
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,680
Speaker 1: We have since found out on to the update. So

118
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,320
Speaker 1: after making the post, my husband and I sat down

119
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:59,040
Speaker 1: and made a plan to approach the conversation with his family. Incidentally,

120
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,520
Speaker 1: we were seeing them in person a couple days after

121
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,559
Speaker 1: making the post. My husband wanted to wait till after

122
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:08,279
Speaker 1: dinner to start the conversation and pull his mother aside initially,

123
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,160
Speaker 1: but his grandparent was also there and kept getting in

124
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,680
Speaker 1: the way and bringing up how Becca and John are

125
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,880
Speaker 1: so excited to see the house and have dinner, et cetera.

126
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,159
Speaker 2: So my husband ended.

127
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,680
Speaker 1: Up snapping and ripped off the band aid in front

128
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,680
Speaker 1: of everyone.

129
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,400
Speaker 2: No, see, this is what we didn't want to happen. Yeah,

130
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,920
Speaker 2: it would mean a little bit easier if you had

131
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,839
Speaker 2: done it with after dinner. Let people eat, be say

132
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,120
Speaker 2: shiated be happy. Yeah, but they're starting it.

133
00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,080
Speaker 1: They're inviting it, even the John and Becca, even though

134
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,600
Speaker 1: Opi and Opie's husband have already said they don't want

135
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,000
Speaker 1: them there.

136
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:41,920
Speaker 2: Right, that's true.

137
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,200
Speaker 1: They're making it messy, that's true. So my husband ended

138
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:48,159
Speaker 1: up snapping. He first started with the fact that he

139
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,680
Speaker 1: had something he wanted to say to them, to which

140
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,960
Speaker 1: everyone jumped the gun, assuming it was pregnancy announcement and

141
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,120
Speaker 1: began to get excited until they heard my husband say

142
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,000
Speaker 1: John is not welcome in our home.

143
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,920
Speaker 2: Imagine you're expecting a pregnancy announcement. It's like, actually, you

144
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,160
Speaker 2: can never come back. You can't.

145
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:12,200
Speaker 1: You're no one is coming into our no one's joining

146
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:16,320
Speaker 1: the family, but someone is being passed out. The room

147
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,960
Speaker 1: went from excited to silent in a split second. My

148
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,600
Speaker 1: husband continued, due to John's history, I cannot allow him

149
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,560
Speaker 1: into my home where me and my wife will one

150
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,080
Speaker 1: day begin our family. I want our home to be

151
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:31,160
Speaker 1: a safe place. I understand you have chosen to continue

152
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,160
Speaker 1: relationship with John because of Becca, which is your business,

153
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,239
Speaker 1: and we respect that. And while I love Aunt Becca

154
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:40,640
Speaker 1: and she is welcome into our home, John will not

155
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:45,520
Speaker 1: step foot in our house. I think that was, honestly,

156
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,960
Speaker 1: a pretty respectful way to say it.

157
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:51,120
Speaker 2: It is, it's very respectful, it's very it's I know

158
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,480
Speaker 2: you guys are probably like, why are you empathizing with

159
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:57,640
Speaker 2: John because of his past? But that's hard to hear.

160
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,360
Speaker 2: I don't think John's there or not. John, Sorry, John's

161
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,640
Speaker 2: out there. John's out there. Oh, guys, the brain is

162
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,920
Speaker 2: not braining today. John's out there. They're saying, basically, what's

163
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,720
Speaker 2: happening is the never mind? Yeah, oh then we're good. Yeah,

164
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,600
Speaker 2: then why are they so nervous? I would have no

165
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:20,440
Speaker 2: problem going I hate John. Yeah, John wasn't there. John's

166
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,280
Speaker 2: not there. John's not there. They're just saying.

167
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,800
Speaker 1: She's saying that the other family members are over and

168
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,560
Speaker 1: they're like, Oh, it's gonna be so fun when John

169
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,600
Speaker 1: and Becca come up and O Brahmans like they're not

170
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,559
Speaker 1: coming up coming, They're not coming up.

171
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,240
Speaker 3: I wish we chose a different name than this.

172
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I got it.

173
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,640
Speaker 3: It's actually their parents fault. John and Sam's because they

174
00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:42,840
Speaker 3: picked the most like basic names.

175
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,000
Speaker 2: Well their parents did.

176
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I said, their parents, and.

177
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,040
Speaker 2: I thought John picked up the most basic names.

178
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,199
Speaker 3: Now look at what they're doing. Crazy.

179
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,319
Speaker 1: That is when the table went from silent to an interruption.

180
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,840
Speaker 1: As we suspect, and as many commenters suspected, my in

181
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,800
Speaker 1: laws believe only what Becca and John told them, they

182
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,840
Speaker 1: did not look into anything further. I am going to

183
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,079
Speaker 1: emit some specifics on the next bit of the conversation

184
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:16,920
Speaker 1: to prevent to protect the victim's privacy. Essentially, the family

185
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,200
Speaker 1: said it was lies me too moment ruined his life.

186
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,079
Speaker 2: This happened in the nineties. I yeah, me too. Movement

187
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:24,840
Speaker 2: wasn't even a thing.

188
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,839
Speaker 1: What the victim was a liar and went after him

189
00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,040
Speaker 1: for money, anything you can think of. They said it,

190
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,439
Speaker 1: to which we had ready the reports and deposition from

191
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 1: the court documents ready and read out specific things like

192
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,640
Speaker 1: how he confessed that it happened and that there were

193
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,920
Speaker 1: possibly others. This is something we should not have to do.

194
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,440
Speaker 1: No is a full sentence, but we had a feeling

195
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:52,080
Speaker 1: the family didn't know the whole story. As soon as

196
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,719
Speaker 1: we did it, my mother in law changed her tune immediately.

197
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,880
Speaker 1: She sat back and took a pause, looked at us,

198
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,840
Speaker 1: and said, well, obviously we weren't told the full story,

199
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,840
Speaker 1: and we decided to take back his word as the

200
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:07,080
Speaker 1: truth and not look any further. Okay, props to the

201
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,120
Speaker 1: mother in law. Yeah, we're being like, sorry, my bad,

202
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:11,840
Speaker 1: we were lied to.

203
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,680
Speaker 2: It's just so uh guys. I again, I'm not trying

204
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:19,640
Speaker 2: to like like a crazy amount, but I'm just like

205
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,360
Speaker 2: I was talking to someone today about how like we

206
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:27,440
Speaker 2: don't focus on rehabilitation enough in the US, right, yes,

207
00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,960
Speaker 2: and and and so I'm just like, you know what

208
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,560
Speaker 2: I'm saying. I sometimes I think about if this were

209
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,280
Speaker 2: like my brother or like someone very close to me,

210
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,079
Speaker 2: Like obviously I wouldn't view them as a monster because

211
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,680
Speaker 2: there's so much more to me than just like another

212
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:47,520
Speaker 2: I'm not but excusing any of that behavior. Terrible, terrible,

213
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,840
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. I don't know.

214
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,720
Speaker 1: I feel like in the my view because I do

215
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,559
Speaker 1: believe in rehabilitation in terms of like the prison system,

216
00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:59,680
Speaker 1: because I yeah, yeah, but I think that one he's

217
00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:00,720
Speaker 1: not in prison.

218
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:04,000
Speaker 2: And he hasn't gone too. The case is still happening.

219
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,080
Speaker 2: This is why I'm confused the timeline of it. Yeah,

220
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:10,200
Speaker 2: because it said it happened back in like what thirty

221
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,560
Speaker 2: years ago? Yeah, but just in the last five years

222
00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:14,200
Speaker 2: the court case has been I.

223
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,680
Speaker 1: Think it was already I think it had already happened, Okay,

224
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,079
Speaker 1: and it had already been settled and the court, the

225
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,079
Speaker 1: court had given the victim.

226
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,840
Speaker 2: The victim won the case and she got money. But

227
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,880
Speaker 2: he didn't go to jail, Okay. Yeah. I mean if

228
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,760
Speaker 2: he went to jail and came back out, will we

229
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,400
Speaker 2: let him come to dinner? No?

230
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:37,320
Speaker 1: Okay, No, I think there are instances in which a

231
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,120
Speaker 1: person want to change.

232
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, a lot of the chat is saying you

233
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:46,320
Speaker 2: can't rehabilitate, yeah, someone like that. Yeah, maybe you guys

234
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,240
Speaker 2: are ready file.

235
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:53,280
Speaker 1: I think that in those situations, this person doesn't necessarily

236
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,720
Speaker 1: want to change at all, and I think for your

237
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:56,319
Speaker 1: safety and.

238
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,720
Speaker 2: For their potential kids. Yeah, the future. Did not want

239
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,840
Speaker 2: that per around. I wouldn't want them around my kids either. Yeah.

240
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:04,920
Speaker 3: Uh.

241
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,040
Speaker 1: Little Zenie says it was a civil court case, not

242
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,760
Speaker 1: a criminal one, which is why he didn't go to jail.

243
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:14,440
Speaker 2: Thank you. I appreciate the clarification. Tigerfish Girl says rehabilitation

244
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,040
Speaker 2: is all well and good, but the first step.

245
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:20,920
Speaker 1: There is is admitting, uh, they did wrong and need

246
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,000
Speaker 1: the rehab, which it seems like John isn't doing. He's

247
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,160
Speaker 1: actively trying to blame the victims still, which I think.

248
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:32,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I guess that's the so yeah, yeah, yeah, no,

249
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,000
Speaker 2: I want to see the good in people. Got no.

250
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,679
Speaker 2: I understand sometimes you're right, but I think that some

251
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 2: people are a little yeah yeah, I messed up, you know.

252
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,600
Speaker 1: I just think in this case, it's like he's not

253
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:49,480
Speaker 1: trying for rehabilitation and it's not like he's like I

254
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,719
Speaker 1: think that rehabilitation usually for me, applies to like this

255
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,719
Speaker 1: person needs to get a job. How do we get

256
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,120
Speaker 1: them back into like a functioning part of society? And

257
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,920
Speaker 1: he still he hasn't been ripped for society at all.

258
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:05,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but clearly there's some mental health. Yeah issues there.

259
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,160
Speaker 2: I think that, but that you can only yeah, I

260
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,240
Speaker 2: don't know. I think that he can only decide he

261
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,400
Speaker 2: wants to change. Yeah. Um.

262
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,280
Speaker 1: My husband's parents then said they support us with this boundary.

263
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,280
Speaker 1: It's our house and we make the rules.

264
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:19,880
Speaker 3: Nice.

265
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,560
Speaker 1: They said they didn't want Becca and John to come anyway,

266
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,040
Speaker 1: and that it was the grandparent that forced the issue.

267
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,000
Speaker 1: From further conversation with mother in law, she may also

268
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,240
Speaker 1: change her stance on if John is welcome in their

269
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:36,040
Speaker 1: home and in what capacity. My grandparents in law. My

270
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:40,160
Speaker 1: grandparent in law was furious. They didn't believe anything in

271
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:44,320
Speaker 1: the court documents. It's the literal proof, so they didn't

272
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,720
Speaker 1: want to know, and that they believed Becca's word over

273
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:47,560
Speaker 1: anything else.

274
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:52,360
Speaker 2: They're like, ah, we believe Becca over the facts. I'm

275
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,360
Speaker 2: telling you. It's the family party. It's tough. Yeah, it's

276
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,040
Speaker 2: tough because obviously there's documentation. But I think a lot

277
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,640
Speaker 2: of people it's like ignorance is bliss, right, But it's

278
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,040
Speaker 2: like if I don't see it, if I don't hear it,

279
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,320
Speaker 2: like it's not true. Yeah.

280
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,959
Speaker 1: I think it's a little crazy though, that they are

281
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,560
Speaker 1: that willing to go to bat for someone who is

282
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,760
Speaker 1: not third son. Yeah, but this is truly like a

283
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,440
Speaker 1: person who married into the family recently.

284
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're like, yes, we told strong.

285
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,840
Speaker 1: Even went so far as to say that John wouldn't

286
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 1: be interested in kids, so our future children would be safe.

287
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,520
Speaker 2: That's a bad argument to make.

288
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,360
Speaker 3: Why would you make that sentence.

289
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,560
Speaker 2: That's a horrible argument. How is that helping your case?

290
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:36,400
Speaker 1: Honestly, the grandparents said that John wouldn't be interested in kids,

291
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,240
Speaker 1: so our future children would be safe.

292
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,760
Speaker 2: Oh, that's good. Terrible argument. That is a terrible argument.

293
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,680
Speaker 1: It was a bad point in the conversation Up until

294
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,120
Speaker 1: this point. My husband did the talking, But now I

295
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,960
Speaker 1: stepped in. I said John is not welcome in our home.

296
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:51,200
Speaker 2: End of story.

297
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,880
Speaker 1: You invited Becca and John without asking. Your relationship with

298
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,560
Speaker 1: John is your business, but we will not have one

299
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 1: you know.

300
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,200
Speaker 2: Snaps on that, Yeah, because that's right. That's your home,

301
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,640
Speaker 2: you paid money for it, that's your space, say anyone

302
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:04,840
Speaker 2: in the.

303
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,800
Speaker 1: Luckily, at this point, both mother in law and father

304
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,760
Speaker 1: in law are on our side, telling the grandparent that

305
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,640
Speaker 1: it's none of their business. We also found out other

306
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,480
Speaker 1: outside family members have placed the same boundary concerning John.

307
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,800
Speaker 1: Grandparent then decided that since they couldn't control the narrative,

308
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,840
Speaker 1: since they couldn't control what we did, and that their

309
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,680
Speaker 1: vision of a perfect family was in shambles it was

310
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:33,560
Speaker 1: already broken, that being terrible towards my husband was the

311
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,320
Speaker 1: best step. So they told my husband that their deceased grandparent,

312
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,040
Speaker 1: who my husband was closest to, would be disgusted with

313
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,320
Speaker 1: our actions.

314
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 2: That's so low, it's so uncool, so cool.

315
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 3: That's the only thing they can do, though they have

316
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,720
Speaker 3: no control, so they're just going to react this way.

317
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

318
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 1: Then they stormed out of the house as much as

319
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,480
Speaker 1: you can you can with a walk.

320
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:57,520
Speaker 2: Damn.

321
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,920
Speaker 1: I love that they have decided to continue the silent treatment,

322
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,600
Speaker 1: which is good because my husband says no contact is

323
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 1: the best thing right now. Backa and John have changed

324
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 1: their travel plans to less days and have gotten a hotel,

325
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,160
Speaker 1: their own dinner reserme, and their own dinner reservations. Mother

326
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,560
Speaker 1: in law has said they will deal with them. Husband

327
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,360
Speaker 1: will be telling the aunt directly prior that John is

328
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 1: not welcome in our house. The family trip is in

329
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,800
Speaker 1: a few weeks. We don't know if or what will happen,

330
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 1: don't know if the grandparent will come or if they

331
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,600
Speaker 1: will still be childish by then. It doesn't matter to us.

332
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 1: We have placed our foot down. I may update a

333
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,480
Speaker 1: second time if more stuff goes down during the visit.

334
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 1: But thanks again to everyone's engagement on the last post,

335
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 1: and there is a second update.

336
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 2: I'm ready for this.

337
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think same something. I think I have the

338
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,480
Speaker 1: same thoughts. I think that Ope and their husband are

339
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,360
Speaker 1: you right for setting that boundary? And I'm glad that

340
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 1: the the in laws are kind of on board.

341
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. Besides, this grandparent also interesting to know that it is.

342
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,280
Speaker 2: You know, he said that other family members had kind

343
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 2: of drawn this line, and I don't know, it's so

344
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,400
Speaker 2: interesting why Well, I think they didn't know.

345
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,200
Speaker 1: I think Op has said that it came to like

346
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 1: John lied about like they had kind of trickle truth

347
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,199
Speaker 1: that information and said truth.

348
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:23,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never heard that. Oh yeah, that's amazing. Trickle truth.

349
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 2: Guys are gonna be like, are people are gonna be like,

350
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,720
Speaker 2: I don't lie, I just trickle truth, trickle truth.

351
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 1: But they were like, oh, John, how was involved in

352
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 1: the case. Just in case you guys, you know, see

353
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,200
Speaker 1: something about that, but there was all these lies about him.

354
00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 2: Yes see, that's not the way to do that, especially

355
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 2: with people you want a long lasting relationship with. Why

356
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 2: wouldn't you rather just sit down and be like, hey, guys,

357
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 2: we want to be really open about John's past. This

358
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 2: is exactly what happened.

359
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 1: He wants to move on from that, but it seems

360
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 1: like he That's why I'm saying, like he has made

361
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:53,680
Speaker 1: no attempts.

362
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,080
Speaker 2: To actually take the accountability accountability.

363
00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there was an update. I wasn't going to

364
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 1: write an update because nothing much ended up happening. My

365
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:06,879
Speaker 1: in laws were supportive, the grandparent was mad, but we

366
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,879
Speaker 1: decided to go low to no contact with them. We

367
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: basically decided unless they contact us and are not NAIL,

368
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,680
Speaker 1: then there is no need to speak to them. However,

369
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 1: we did find out, which was also surprise to my

370
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 1: mother in law, the grandparent decided to go rogue and

371
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,199
Speaker 1: invite many more family members to our place to have

372
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,640
Speaker 1: a huge family reunion.

373
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 2: What what is this person doing?

374
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,440
Speaker 1: And they planned to buy us stuff for the backyard

375
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 1: to facilitate them using the space for the weekend. My

376
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,680
Speaker 1: mother in law and father in law had no clue

377
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 1: about this, and while we were no contact with the grandparent,

378
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,719
Speaker 1: decided to set things straight on our behalf, which we

379
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 1: were grateful for because we were not about to be

380
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,200
Speaker 1: in the middle of hosting a surprise family reunion. That's crazy,

381
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:55,320
Speaker 1: sounds terrible, and on accident or on purpose, mother in

382
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,640
Speaker 1: law and father in law came down with a bad

383
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 1: flu which made them cancel the trip, and because the

384
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,639
Speaker 1: grandparent does not drive well, they couldn't go either.

385
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 2: If it was an.

386
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,440
Speaker 1: Accident, I'd like to say karma, but if it was

387
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 1: a ruse from my in laws, then kudos to them.

388
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 1: But after almost a month and a bit, the grandparent

389
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: gave us a call. No apology, but a recognition to

390
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,440
Speaker 1: me and my husband that while they don't feel we

391
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,240
Speaker 1: are being fair to John Eyrol, they can respect our

392
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 1: choices seeing as it's our house. Not an apology for

393
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,679
Speaker 1: the behavior at dinner, but enough for my husband to

394
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 1: feel a little better about being in minimal contact with

395
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 1: this grandparent as they are.

396
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 2: Very advanced in age. And then we.

397
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 1: Thought that was the end of it and maybe his

398
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 1: family would visit next year, until today, when my mother

399
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 1: in law contacted us saying they wanted to try again

400
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,159
Speaker 1: to visit and that she was the one managing their

401
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 1: side this time and it would just be them, no

402
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,400
Speaker 1: additional family. So they are coming up at a week

403
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 1: and a half, including the grandparent. Don't expect anything crazy

404
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 1: to happen with that with this visit, as the grandparent

405
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 1: has been told by my in laws and us that

406
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 1: we do not have the space for a bunch of people.

407
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 1: But if things do get crazy, I will post a

408
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,160
Speaker 1: final update in the comments. Thanks everyone for their engagement

409
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 1: with the posts. It's been a crazy few months and

410
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 1: that is the end of that story.

411
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 2: I think right now, it's just like it seems like

412
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 2: they're moving on in their lives. It seems like a

413
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 2: positive way, I would say, so it seems like it's

414
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 2: going upward. They've put the boundary in place, they've kind

415
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 2: of talked it out a little bit with the grandparent

416
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,320
Speaker 2: and they're getting they're getting an in law visit, hopefully

417
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 2: not with John and Becca in toe. Yeah. I love it. Nice, nice,

418
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 2: But there is another story that we can get into. Okay,

419
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,919
Speaker 2: it's time for you to read. It's time for me

420
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 2: and the thing. Okay, like we're at there, Yes, all right. Yes,

421
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:05,640
Speaker 2: I don't know why I started talking with the names

422
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 2: and I'm sorry.

423
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

424
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 2: Jeez Louise. Okay, I can't believe I just said geez Louise.

425
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 2: Whoever says that? What? Guys, what's wrong with me? Okay?

426
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,239
Speaker 2: Here we go. My girlfriend's parents are awful, so I

427
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 2: want to break up with her if her parents so

428
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 2: then she doesn't fall too far from the tree.

429
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 3: I wish three years ago you said what. I wish

430
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,120
Speaker 3: I would have known this three years ago.

431
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 2: This is tough, though, because obviously they're like, you marry them,

432
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 2: You married the family. That's tough. Yeah. Uh, this is

433
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 2: a long story, but I would appreciate it if someone

434
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 2: read it and gave me some advice. This is my

435
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 2: first Reddit post, so I'm not too familiar with how

436
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 2: these things work, so please bear with me. Got you you,

437
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,160
Speaker 2: by the way. This comes from own underscore are two

438
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 2: six eight nine on the okay story time subreddit. So

439
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 2: I twenty three male, have been dating a girl for

440
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 2: about a year and three minth now. When we first

441
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 2: got together, she warned me that her parents, mainly her father,

442
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,639
Speaker 2: is a bit crazy. Boy was she right? When we

443
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 2: first got together, everything was good, no issues with them,

444
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: and I heard good things back from her that her

445
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,199
Speaker 2: parents liked me. Okay, so we're good. Her dad is

446
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 2: a very straight and narrow type of straight and narrow.

447
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 2: Is it straight and narrow? Straight and narrow? It is

448
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,479
Speaker 2: straight and narrow and arrow? I don't know. I think

449
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 2: it's straight and narrow, straight and narrow, straight and narrow, okay,

450
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 2: straight as an arrow. Sorry, the brain is again not brain,

451
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 2: straight and narrow. Okay. Good. Her dad is a very

452
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 2: straight and narrow type of guy. His way or the highway.

453
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 2: He has a lot of control over her. She has

454
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 2: a curfew and is not allowed to stay over whatsoever.

455
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 3: Whoa old?

456
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,880
Speaker 2: How old are we? Twenty three? What I mean? Some

457
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 2: parents are right? Some parents are like that. Do they

458
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 2: live at home? They live at home? She still loves

459
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 2: at home? Okay, so she can't say over whatsover? Don't

460
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 2: even think about it, which I can somewhat respect considering

461
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: she still lives at home. Amazing. She's not allowed to

462
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 2: attend any of the weekend trips that me and my

463
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,199
Speaker 2: family go on, even though her parents are invited to

464
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 2: them as well. There was one instance where he did

465
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,880
Speaker 2: say yes that she could go on a camping trip

466
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 2: with me and my family. What a frick up? We

467
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 2: were lying hood on freak up, lying in bed at night,

468
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 2: about to go to bed. We have very limited service

469
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 2: where we are, so text messages and phone calls kind

470
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 2: of come when they want to. She gets a text

471
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 2: message from her mother saying to call her asap. We

472
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 2: blast out to the road to try and gain some

473
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 2: better sell service for a phone call. She reaches her

474
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,640
Speaker 2: mother and her mother tells her that she is here

475
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 2: to pick her. Uh. We passed by her on the

476
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 2: way out, but didn't clue in that it was her

477
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 2: red flag. That is a red flag, red flat that

478
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 2: is a red flag. And like even though she lives

479
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 2: at home, she doesn't she's grown. She's a twenty three

480
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: year old woman. Yeah, he doesn't. Yeah, I don't know.

481
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 3: I don't.

482
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it parents. If I had a curfew

483
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 2: of twenty three, my life would have not been the same.

484
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: Umm.

485
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: Okay. We met up with her mother and she says

486
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 2: that her father sent her up to get her. We're

487
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 2: about five hours from home, so here we are thinking

488
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 2: something terrible has happened. That's true for her to drive

489
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,360
Speaker 2: five hours to come get her, only to find out

490
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 2: that she just wants her home and regrets saying yes

491
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 2: to her going. They sound very recontrolling, very controlling, very protective.

492
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 2: This is a huge red flag.

493
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: I think it's I don't know, I don't know, because

494
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: could be, but I think regardless, it's still.

495
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 2: A red flag. OPI didn't mention religion, so I'm not sure.

496
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 2: We stood there and talked for roughly two hours, and

497
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 2: her mother insulted me multiple times for reasons as dumb

498
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: as the genre of music. I like, well, what genre

499
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 2: was it? Not? Let me remind you. Her parents were

500
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 2: invited on this trip, but chose to stay home. We

501
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: both end up staying with me and my family for

502
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 2: the night, her mother wait up and leaving before the

503
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 2: sun rose due to fear of embarrassment that they stayed over.

504
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 1: Anyway, it seems like they were just like, oh, we

505
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: need someone to kind of choperone our daughter, which is

506
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: why ridiculous.

507
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't they have gone on the trip if they

508
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 2: were invited?

509
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: I I don't know. I think it was just this

510
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: kind of thing of oh, you know what, Okay, fine, you.

511
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 2: Can go, and then being like controlling, Wait a minute,

512
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 2: why do we let her go yea yeah, which is

513
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 2: not healthyikes. She goes home later that week and to

514
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 2: find that her mother is in trouble with her father

515
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 2: because she went up there and tried to get my

516
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 2: girlfriend to come home, which would then go against his

517
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 2: word that she could go. Okay, Dad said you can go, yes,

518
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 2: and mom said, hmm, I don't like that. It sounds

519
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 2: like both of these parents are arg m yeah. Oh

520
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 2: good h Then my girlfriend was also in trouble for

521
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 2: not listening to her mother. Sounds crazy, right, Just wait.

522
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: Her mother has always been nice to me, making me

523
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 2: coffees and sending me home with leftovers. Her father has

524
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 2: always been nice to me as well, even though he

525
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 2: has always something to say behind my back to my

526
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 2: girlfriend for something as small as the vehicle I drive

527
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 2: is in a high quality, long lasting Toyota. Oh my god,

528
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: shout out Toyota. Just recently, for family Day, I invited

529
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 2: her family up to my father's house to go ATVing,

530
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 2: something I've done on a few occasions, but they've never

531
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 2: taken me up on my offer. This time they did.

532
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 2: In the morning of when they were supposed to come,

533
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 2: her dad says he isn't feeling well which is fine,

534
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 2: no pressure. She ends up saying he's going to pass,

535
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 2: but that her mom can still go and he will

536
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 2: load the ATVs for her and she and my girlfriend

537
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 2: can go together. Okay, so we're going. We're gonna go

538
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 2: at fun guys like a good time. So the ATVs

539
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: are loaded, trucks packed, they're ready to leave, and at

540
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 2: the last minute he says to her that this isn't

541
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: a good idea because she's never towed this specific trailer

542
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 2: with this truck. She's been driving big trucks and trailers

543
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 2: for over thirty years. They owned a landscaping company together.

544
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,880
Speaker 2: She's a She ends up starting to second guess herself

545
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: and ends up bailing too, but she still decides to

546
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 2: come up and she will just ride one of our machines.

547
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: This is the mother, Yes, Okay, so now it seems

548
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 1: like this father is undermining the mother's kind of confidence

549
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: right also.

550
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: Ah yeah, so it's like getting in her ear, being

551
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 2: a little manipulative, like are you sure? Are you sure?

552
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: I don't like this? The day goes by, we have

553
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 2: an amazing day, and she goes home to find him

554
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 2: in a fit of rage that she went out with

555
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 2: him and all this other stuff from past experiences with her.

556
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 2: Nothing bad, She's a very good wife and mother. He's

557
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 2: just out to lunch. He ends up kicking her mother

558
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,959
Speaker 2: out for this, and she goes and stays at a

559
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 2: friend's house. Wait, are we missing something?

560
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 3: Oh?

561
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 2: How did this escalate? I think it's just him. I

562
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 2: think he is a little yeah, yeah, okay. So a

563
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 2: few days go by and she comes back and they

564
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: talk my girlfriend overhears them talking about me, mainly him

565
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 2: yelling at her, and she's just listening, and he tells

566
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 2: her that she emotionally cheats on him with me because

567
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 2: of how nice and helpful she is with me.

568
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: What what super toxic with daughter's boyfriend just because she

569
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: like makes some baked goods and the.

570
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,400
Speaker 2: Coffees the leftovers.

571
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 3: He's a decent guy.

572
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 2: Is emotional cheating?

573
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 3: Dude? If that's emotional cheating, then me and Christian have

574
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 3: been a.

575
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 2: Shout out Christian. Uh. Turns out he doesn't like that

576
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: she's nice to me because I haven't put in the work.

577
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 2: Not sure what that means. He can't even explain it himself.

578
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: You ought to be nice to anyone, Yeah, unless they

579
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: put in the work.

580
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 2: I've helped them around their house many times, from yard

581
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: cleanup to cooking dinner and breakfast. And this is getting

582
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 2: to the point where he's mentally abusing all of us

583
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 2: us and he's playing mental gymnastics to get them to

584
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 2: listen to him and go by what he says. So yeah,

585
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 2: going back to dad being manipulative, super manipulative. No one's

586
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 2: allowed an opinion or an option. He just recently said

587
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 2: I'm not allowed at their place anymore, which is extremely

588
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 2: hard on my girlfriend to do all of the driving.

589
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 2: We live about an hour apart. Oh yeah, I've been there.

590
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 2: It's not fun. It's not fun. In the past, he's

591
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 2: complained that I don't come down enough, and now I'm

592
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 2: not allowed at all for next to no reason other

593
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 2: than his wife is nice to me, other than she

594
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 2: gives me leftover castle. I think that this his girlfriend

595
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 2: needs to get out of there. Yeah, like she needs

596
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 2: her own place. Could they move in together? They have

597
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: been dating over any year. Is there any other option

598
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 2: for her? Because this is super unhealthy. Would mom and

599
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: dad even let her move out?

600
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 3: They don't.

601
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 2: I mean, of course they don't have like actual physical control.

602
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: Look, I think they would try and keep her there. Yeah,

603
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: but I think he needs to. I mean, if he

604
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 1: wants to continue in this relationship, which I'm not saying

605
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: that he has to, right, but maybe trying to like

606
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: help her realize. You know, they legally get get out,

607
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: keep you there, you have the funds, and maybe he'll

608
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 1: be he you know, he'll help out.

609
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, get her out of there, Get her out of there.

610
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 2: They stopped sleeping in the same bed mom and dad,

611
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 2: and he got mad at her for sleeping in the

612
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 2: bed that I usually sleep in when I stay over there,

613
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 2: saying that she's only sleeping in that bed because I did,

614
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 2: or perhaps because it's the guest bed. Yeah, perhaps because

615
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to sleep with you and I just

616
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 2: want a comfy bed. He got so mad that he

617
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 2: punched a hole in the door while she was trying

618
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 2: to know. Yeah, punched a hole in the door while

619
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: she was trying to sleep. That is scary, It's really scary.

620
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: That is scary. Oh wow. When they both listen to

621
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 2: him and abide by his crazy rules, the house runs smooth.

622
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: But he has Yeah, but he has all these rules.

623
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: And when you're with a person like that who's manipulative.

624
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 2: It's scary. It's like you controlling.

625
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, they change the the rules and the like, the

626
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 1: boundaries that they're putting in place keep changing, and so

627
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: you're never like you're never getting it right.

628
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,959
Speaker 2: I do not like this, not like this. Uh So

629
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 2: the house runs smooth when they run by the crazy rules.

630
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 2: When they don't, it's like the sky is falling. There's

631
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: been many instances like the ones I just explained over

632
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,959
Speaker 2: the years that my girlfriend has explained to me. Her

633
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 2: mother has been kicked out over a dozen times for

634
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: stuff as small as this. She's a battered woman. Everyone

635
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 2: who she talks to is telling her to leave me,

636
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 2: my family, her boss, her family, and even the women's

637
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 2: shelter she called told her to leave. Oh, she's calling

638
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: the women shelter. This is heartbreaking. It's so sad.

639
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: He's probably, but this father has convinced her that nothing

640
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: she does or says is right right, as we've seen earlier, very.

641
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 2: Low self esteem. Yeah, very low self esteem. She won't leave,

642
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 2: so I have to give up. I gave up trying

643
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 2: with her. She recently booked a trip for her and

644
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 2: my girlfriend to go to England to see her mother.

645
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: Her dad has a big fear of airplanes, so he

646
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: does not fly over the whole family Days situation. He

647
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 2: made her cancel the trip to England, saying how if

648
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 2: she didn't, then she didn't love him. This is so

649
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 2: manipulative and talks. I should also mention that my girlfriend's

650
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 2: mother's mother is currently being treated for cancer and she

651
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 2: hasn't seen her in over ten years. She does end

652
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 2: up canceling the trip and my girlfriend is devastated over it. Rightfully,

653
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: so this is not going well guys. Anyway, There's lots

654
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 2: more to this. This is just a drop in the bucket,

655
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 2: but that's the main juicy stuff. Things are okay between

656
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 2: her and I, but she always seems to get sucked

657
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 2: into this crazy narcissistic way things she's a terrible daughter

658
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 2: and that her mother is an idiot for letting her

659
00:32:55,720 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 2: date me. Except what, oh does why does Opie deserve that? No? Yeah,

660
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 2: we see.

661
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 1: I think you have to like look into it and

662
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: have a conversation with her. Yeah, like, hey, you need

663
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 1: to either get out there. But what he is doing

664
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: to you is coming like you are putting you are

665
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: It's affecting me now and my mental health. I don't

666
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: like I want Yeah, maybe I want to get you

667
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: out of there, but right now the situation is not

668
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: healthy for either of us.

669
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 2: Nough I recently offered to let her move in with

670
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 2: me to escape this, but she seems hesitant to leave

671
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: them right that that mental control. I'm not going to

672
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 2: twist her arm. If she doesn't leave to stay with me,

673
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 2: then I'm going to break up with her. You know,

674
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do that. But I frankly want

675
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 2: absolutely nothing to do with her family anymore. And that's

676
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 2: healthy for her, and that's not healthy for her or I.

677
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 2: I don't think I feel bad leaving her over her

678
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 2: family stuff, but I have to deal with these people

679
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 2: for the rest of my life, and I just don't

680
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 2: know if I'm able to do it. I feel lost

681
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: and much on how to deal with this. I don't

682
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 2: see us lasting much longer if she stays with her family,

683
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 2: because I will not deal with this stupid small bs

684
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 2: issues with me and her dating me mainly her father

685
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 2: and her mother. Oh yeah, yeah, mainly her father and

686
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 2: her mother is just the splitting, spitting image of him.

687
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 2: Due to reasons I have stated above, there are a

688
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 2: lot of marital issues are blamed on my girlfriend because

689
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 2: her father is not approachable on anything, so her mother

690
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,359
Speaker 2: does it for her and that causes issues. There's a

691
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 2: lot of issues here, a lot of issues. There's a

692
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 2: lot of issues. Edit. Wow, I didn't expect this much

693
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 2: of a response to answer some commonly asked questions. My

694
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 2: girlfriend is twenty Okay, Okay, she's a little young. Oh okay,

695
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 2: he that.

696
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: Does this make sense why she doesn't want to move

697
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: out and have a little bit more say over with?

698
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean twenty is young, but I think it's

699
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 2: also not.

700
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: This does not excuse any of their controlling behavior, but

701
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: it does explain why she's hesitant to leave.

702
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, we are both white, so

703
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: not necessarily a cultural thing. Possibly religious, may be religious. Yeah.

704
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 2: I have not broken up with her yet. I've just

705
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 2: been considering it because of how bad things are with

706
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 2: her family. I wasn't sure if it was right or

707
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 2: fair of me to do that. I mean, at the

708
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 2: end of the day, it's right or fair for you

709
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 2: to do what you need to do. Yeah, your mental

710
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 2: affecting you.

711
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 1: Uh And yeah, as you said, as in your mental health,

712
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: then you can make that decision.

713
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're not being a bad person for it.

714
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 2: My girlfriend is an only child, and I'm just kidding.

715
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 2: I love you guys, love you only children. My girlfriend

716
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 2: is an only child, and she has said previously she

717
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 2: worries about what will happen to her parents if she leaves,

718
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 2: especially her mom. She probably does feel that kind of

719
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 2: fear of and the guilt almost of like if I

720
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: leave situation, and she thinks her mom will be blamed

721
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 2: for her leaving, which I assume I'm sure she would be,

722
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: which is very sad. My girlfriend is also not the

723
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: rebellious type, so I think doing something that she knows

724
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 2: is blatantly against what her parents would want scares her. Yeah,

725
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 2: I think.

726
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 1: I mean the the obvious solution is that the mother

727
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 1: and the daughter need to get out of there and

728
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 1: go to therapy. Yeah, But unfortunately, because this is so

729
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: complex and because the dad is kind of whispering in

730
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: their ear, I don't think it's that easy. I think

731
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 1: that ope needs to right now if he doesn't want

732
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,399
Speaker 1: to break up, just offering that safe place of saying

733
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: you can come and live with me, that is an option,

734
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,719
Speaker 1: and saying like you know what, I've noticed how your

735
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: your dad's treating you and your mom. I don't think

736
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:47,879
Speaker 1: it's really okay. Have you considered going to therapy, which

737
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: is a rand conversation have but you know, I think

738
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: it's I think if you want to continue that relationship,

739
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: it may be necessary.

740
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: But again, if it, if it starts to.

741
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: Go into your mental health, then you are totally allowed to,

742
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: you know, leave that relationship.

743
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: So I was just thinking, how I always get these

744
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 2: downer stories you do. What is wrong? I don't know.

745
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 2: I really okay, I really try to not pick so

746
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 2: sad stories. Okay, but there was slim Pickens today, ye pickins. Oh,

747
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 2: I love that. Sabrina Carpenter anybody.

748
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: I've been listening to her album, I will say, well,

749
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: Riley's not here, so we have to wait Riley's back.

750
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: I've been listening to Sabrina Carpeg's new album and I

751
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: really like it.

752
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: You know, don't mock it. Don't mock Riley. Mister. Listens

753
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 2: to Dominic Fike's album every single minute.

754
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 3: I love every day I love and I like.

755
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love, I like it. But Dominic Fike is

756
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 2: very talented. I'm not knocking dominic talent. I'm just saying

757
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 2: that every morning I wake up to the same song,

758
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 2: the same rich song, which what's the song I listen

759
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 2: so fabit I'm here, I get so lonely and night.

760
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, scene, it drives me crazy. I'm literally getting trauma.

761
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 3: It's my favorite song. That is Actually I know Angie

762
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:14,720
Speaker 3: and I's song.

763
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: It's my least favorite song. Well, I love it, play

764
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 2: it every.

765
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 3: Day to remind me of her.

766
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 2: You remind me of the girl. Yeah, but anyway, that is,

767
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 2: that's that story.

768
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 3: Enter Time twelve Realms. Thank you for the twenty dollars sticker.

769
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 3: We didn't say it earlier, but we appreciate it.

770
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: I've been on I've been a Chapel Rone fans since

771
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: Pink Pony Club came out.

772
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,760
Speaker 2: I've been ground floor. She's very talented. She's amazing, very talented. Harlowood,

773
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,839
Speaker 2: thank you for being a new member. And Jane's thank

774
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 2: you for the five gifted membership. What I got the

775
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 2: last two guys.

776
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,919
Speaker 1: Josephina midel Bequise, thank you for the two sixty three. Ah,

777
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,800
Speaker 1: you just have a big heart and a lot of hope.

778
00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 2: Thank you.

779
00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: You said that whenever you were defending the.

780
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a little too much hope. That is not

781
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 2: defending just off. It's too much hope. Twisted Queen twenty four,

782
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: thank you for the new becoming a new.

783
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 1: Member, Twisted Queen, boost a Kid Yancy, thank you for

784
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,400
Speaker 1: the five buck tip. Sup ok fam infamous boost A

785
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: Kita here yo. Today my second and last kid is

786
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 1: moving out in fact, I and my oldest son and

787
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: my youngest my daughter all moved out in September, different

788
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: years ages twenty twenty three wild A app very sentimental moment. Yeah,

789
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 1: I cried a.

790
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:38,399
Speaker 2: Little empty nester. Wow, big deal. Josephine macdolaber Queen's thank

791
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,720
Speaker 2: you for the two sixty three. Why do you always

792
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 2: give Molly the impress? What? It's not on purpose? We said,

793
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 2: Molly's life is so good, we need to break it down.

794
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it just seems every time she's on here she

795
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 3: has a sad story.

796
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 2: It's not my fault one. This is like the saddest

797
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 2: story of all the stories I picked. It's all good though,

798
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 2: it's it gets because you offer such great insight. Oh

799
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 2: my god, thank you making it up as like, oh,

800
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 2: thank you for the five buck tip. Molly, what tattoos

801
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 2: do you have on your arm? If you don't mind

802
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 2: me asking, please don't forget to like the streams.

803
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 3: She minds and we have to keep reading. Yeah, I

804
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 3: was what do you have? Molly? What do you got?

805
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 2: Okay? Uh, I can't figure it out, Guys, I don't know.

806
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 2: I have an apartment building. I have flowers that say

807
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,279
Speaker 2: for me, because you can always buy yourself flowers. A

808
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 2: weird little thingy up here my parents' initials because I

809
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 2: love them, little clown kids, little snoopy with a bouquet,

810
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 2: well kind of like off brand snoopy, and then like

811
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 2: a like a what's it called a vase with a

812
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 2: body in it. Because women we bring life. That's so lovely.

813
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 2: Yeah they're not.

814
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:52,840
Speaker 3: That's true, because your birth life.

815
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 2: We birth life, We birth it.

816
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 3: And we love that, oh beyond twin.

817
00:40:58,200 --> 00:40:59,760
Speaker 2: Thank you for the five bucks?

818
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:05,839
Speaker 3: What usher? Yes, Ollie usher, Yes, Molly.

819
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 2: Re usure you.

820
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 1: Oh by the way, oh by the way, live every weekdays.

821
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 2: Just tap our profile, Olly, what what happened? I know?

822
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 2: I fed up?

823
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 3: Let's read another story.

824
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 2: Okay, we only have one minute.

825
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 3: Let's read another story.

826
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 2: Is there a specific story that we should read, just.

827
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 3: The last one of this?

828
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 2: Okay?

829
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 3: Uh, you can read that one request.

830
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 2: Thank you for the two sixty three Molly, what's oh

831
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 2: it's Mally Chapman. M O L L y e h

832
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 2: A P m an you got the Why did I

833
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 2: say it like that? I don't know, but it was great.

834
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,879
Speaker 2: It's impresses that you have. You got an actual name. Guys,

835
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 2: I've been on the gram for a minute. I have

836
00:41:55,680 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 2: to put my underscores in m h you ready.

837
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: My daughter said something awful to my wife, so we

838
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: told her she's fending her for herself from now.

839
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say what we're done.

840
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 1: My daughter said something awful to my wife, so we

841
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: told her she's spending for herself from now on.

842
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 2: If these were my parents, I'd be on the street

843
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 2: at eight years old. Yeah, they're done. You're out it

844
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 2: because I was a little rascal.

845
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: My wife has been a stay at home mom since

846
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: our eldest was born, even though our youngest is now twelve.

847
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,439
Speaker 1: She stays home to care for the house as well

848
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: as be available for pickups, volunteer at the children's school

849
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,959
Speaker 1: for various closings, et cetera. By the way, this comes

850
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 1: from Comfortable Seesaw eight oh two on the arslash Okay

851
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: storytime sub reddit. So we have always talked to our

852
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: daughters twenty five, twenty one, seventeen, and twelve about their futures, careers,

853
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 1: et cetera. We made it clear will support whatever path

854
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 1: they want. Our oldest is twenty five and chose to

855
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 1: settle down and become a stay at home mom. Our

856
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:00,320
Speaker 1: twenty one year old is in college, no play of

857
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 1: marriage or kids, and wants to focus on career. We're

858
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 1: happy for both of them and all their successes. What

859
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: a healthy mindset.

860
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like something's coming, but what a so

861
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 2: far healthy mincess. So far.

862
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 1: Our seventeen year old Sasha is in her senior year

863
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: and getting ready to start applying to universities. Like our

864
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,760
Speaker 1: twenty one year old, Sasha, wants to focus on her career,

865
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 1: maybe get married, but definitely no kids. She's been saying

866
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: this for a while and we've supported that dream. Our

867
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,240
Speaker 1: other kid seems to appreciate, appreciate what their mother does.

868
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: Have never belittled her position in the household. I have

869
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: equally always painted her as the true hero of this family,

870
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: as she does so much. I try to do all

871
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 1: I can to help her and give her breaks, but

872
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: she is a superwoman in my eyes.

873
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 2: Really sweet. However, Yes, see, guys, you know that, however,

874
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 2: it is always coming. For the past few months, Sasha

875
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 2: has been making tiny jabs here and there. She'll talk

876
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: about her going to college and ask my wife what

877
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 2: she majored in, despite already knowing, then say, wow, imagine

878
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,720
Speaker 2: what you can make if you were in that field.

879
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,320
Speaker 2: Now we could be living the high life or giving

880
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 2: up a six figure salary for husband and kids. Could

881
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 2: never be me. Yeah, that's so rude, no judgmental too,

882
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 2: So I would never say that to my parents.

883
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 3: Never.

884
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god. There's like, I don't know some people

885
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 2: in so much trouble. Yeah, and that stings. That's painful.

886
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 2: That's different than like yelling at your parents, which also

887
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 2: don't do it. I did it, don't do it? Yeah,

888
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 2: I mean, but it's most kids. But there's some things

889
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 2: that sting to the core, some things that it's just like,

890
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 2: why are you being mean?

891
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, keep in mind, I also make a six figure salary.

892
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: We are by no means the wealthiest people in the area,

893
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 1: but we're also not broke, and the kids have gotten

894
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: many privileges from this. My wife has always said this

895
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: is a choice she made, she's happy with it, and

896
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: we both told Stasha to stop with the comments Sasha

897
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: will do better then start up again.

898
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 2: Where is this coming from? I mean, Sasha is one

899
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 2: of the middle kids. She's seventeen. Yeah, so she's smacked ub.

900
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 2: There's like twenty twenty five, twenty twenty young twenty one,

901
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:20,879
Speaker 2: seventeen and twelve, so she's like, that's tough. That's tough

902
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 2: being that age. I think in between all the siblings,

903
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 2: and obviously there's that stereotype that the middle kids, you know,

904
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 2: it's tough for them. So and the fact that she,

905
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know. I'm just wonder I think

906
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 2: the mom, I think op is maybe being like, is

907
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 2: maybe a little bum that Sasha doesn't want to have kids.

908
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 3: I don't know.

909
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,240
Speaker 1: It seemed because it seems like the other there's another

910
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: kid that he's like, oh, she doesn't want kids either,

911
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 1: when we've respected that.

912
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

913
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,919
Speaker 1: It just seems like I'm wondering where this is coming from,

914
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,399
Speaker 1: of Sasha kind of acting out.

915
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 2: I guess we'll find out. We'll go and find it.

916
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,800
Speaker 1: Labor Day is when Sasha blew it. In my wife's words,

917
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 1: the two of us set up a barbecue for our

918
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 1: family with everyone there. I grilled with my wife cooking

919
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,959
Speaker 1: the rest and setting it up with our daughter's help,

920
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 1: except Sasha. At one point, my wife was talking about

921
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: volunteering at our twelve year old school, as they needed

922
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 1: someone to run an art club. Our youngest is so

923
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 1: excited for this. Sasha kept making jabs at how boring

924
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 1: my wife's life is.

925
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 2: I corrected her, but my wife just kept trying to

926
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 2: let it go.

927
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: Then our eldest said something about trying to keep up

928
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 1: with housework and a small child at home. Sasha scoffed

929
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 1: and said, it can't be that hard. My wife chimed

930
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,320
Speaker 1: in and said, it's more work than you realize. Sasha

931
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 1: rolled her eyes and said to my wife, well, you

932
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 1: chose to be the loser who stays home and wastes

933
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 1: her life away.

934
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 2: What no way, no way. She said that, Oh, that

935
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 2: is so mean and hurtful, so mean in front of people.

936
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,280
Speaker 2: It sounds like what happened?

937
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 1: I mean, I want to know why she's doing this,

938
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: but it sounds like Opie's wife is perhaps a bit

939
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 1: of like a non confrontational person, and it's like, you know,

940
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,399
Speaker 1: like the nice mom is like, no, I'm not gonna

941
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 1: yell at.

942
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 2: My kids or anything, And.

943
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,800
Speaker 1: For months Sasha has been making these comments and the

944
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: mom's like, I'm just gonna.

945
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 2: Let it go. Let it go, Something's gonna happen.

946
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: I think you do what you know, at some point

947
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 1: you need to be like talk to have a conversation

948
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 1: with your your child and say that these are not

949
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 1: acceptable right comments to make, and you need to show

950
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: some you know, certain some respect for the sacrifices that

951
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: I've made for you.

952
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and for your sisters. Uh.

953
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:44,320
Speaker 1: And I don't appreciate what you're saying. I think something

954
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 1: like that needs to happen.

955
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 2: But like you know, in the chat, Susie said, is

956
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 2: she being bullied in school that also having a conversation,

957
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 2: Why are you saying these commons? I think that's what

958
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 2: it is, too right, because I'm not saying it. Nothing's

959
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 2: going to excuse that behavior. But yeah, there has to

960
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 2: be something going on. I think.

961
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: So I think that maybe you know, I'm just conjecture.

962
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 1: Maybe like a kid at school is like, oh, your

963
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 1: mom's a stay at home mom. That's Soombarra's like something

964
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:13,280
Speaker 1: like that, so.

965
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 2: Bombarrasing. You get to stay home and take care of

966
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 2: the kids, live a fulfilling life. But there's more. My

967
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 2: wife was clearly about to cry.

968
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 1: I sent Sasha to her room. My wife took a

969
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 1: walk to clear her head, our older two daughters joining her,

970
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 1: while I went to talk to Sasha and tell her

971
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: how hurtful and horrible her actions were. She was unapologetic

972
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 1: and claimed that she's trying to help my wife. When

973
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 1: my wife came back, she told Sasha, if she's such

974
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 1: a loser wasting her life away, then she's done helping her.

975
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 2: Let's go. Yeah, you gotta stand up at some point,

976
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 2: put that foot down.

977
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: Our kids have age appropriate chores, their own laundry and

978
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: taking turns cleaning their shared bathroom. She is done doing

979
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: anything else for Sasha. Sasha, she can make her own meals.

980
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 1: She's free to join us at dinner, but it'll be

981
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 1: food she cooks, and will either be things we already

982
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: have in the house or she can go buy it

983
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 1: with her own money. As Sasha refused my wife's attempts

984
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 1: to teach her how to cook, over the years, it'll

985
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: be her struggle. Sasha can find her own way to school.

986
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 1: My wife also won't volunteer anymore at of school, meaning

987
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,240
Speaker 1: the club Sasha is on will need a new parent

988
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 1: slash teacher advisor, and if they don't find one, it'll

989
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 1: be shut down. This will continue until my wife and

990
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: I can see a sufficient change in attitude. Honestly, I

991
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 1: think it's that's pretty amazing. I think this is a

992
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: good I don't think this is too harsh. No, because

993
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 1: I think this is showing to Sasha everything that her

994
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 1: mom does.

995
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 2: Your words and actions have consequence. Yeah, yeah, and you're seventeen.

996
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 2: You're seventeen, ie exactly.

997
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 1: You're old enough. Yeah, you're absolutely old enough to know better.

998
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 1: And if you think it's so easy, do it.

999
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1000
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 1: I am in full support of this. Sasha didn't take

1001
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: us serious, but on Tuesday, when she asked what was

1002
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 1: for dinner, my wife said she only made enough for herself,

1003
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,760
Speaker 1: me and our youngest. When my daughter overslept and missed

1004
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 1: the bus on Wednesday, my wife refused to give her

1005
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 1: a ride. I work from home, but also refused to

1006
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,399
Speaker 1: take her. She had to walk to a friend's house

1007
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: about fifteen minutes away to fetch a ride. That night,

1008
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: Sasha made herself ramen while my wife made the rest

1009
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 1: of us ribs.

1010
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I'd.

1011
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 1: Be so sad feeding my ram and everybody, everyone's going,

1012
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 1: I bet that.

1013
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 2: I wonder if the mom is making like the best

1014
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 2: roast a peach cobbler, like she's going all of it. Yeah.

1015
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 1: Sasha went to my wife later and asked, when it

1016
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: be enough? My wife asked if she was sorry. Sasha

1017
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 1: said no, so my wife said, then it's not.

1018
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 2: Over, Sasha. Sasha, why Sasha, what are you doing?

1019
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 3: Like?

1020
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,359
Speaker 1: This isn't even, this isn't even like. Sasha's like, I'm sorry,

1021
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Please let me do it, and they're like, no,

1022
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: this is I'm saying, do you apologize?

1023
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 2: I was literally while they're eating the ribs, I'm so try.

1024
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:09,839
Speaker 3: Ribs.

1025
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 1: Sasha went to her older sisters. Our twenty one year

1026
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 1: old agrees with us about our twenty five year old

1027
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 1: thinks we're being too harsh and said she never do

1028
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: this to her little one.

1029
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:21,840
Speaker 2: Are we being a holes?

1030
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:24,839
Speaker 1: Well, she's not in this situation yet, though I don't

1031
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 1: know if you can necessarily make that judgment right. Edit

1032
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 1: to all asking if we asked her why we did

1033
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: several times. She claims that as she looks to her

1034
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 1: own future, she realizes how sad it is that my

1035
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 1: wife has has his life and feels bad that she

1036
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 1: never had a good future. My wife consistently says she's

1037
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 1: not sad, and I think that makes our daughter angrier.

1038
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 1: I feel like there are some relevant comments to be there.

1039
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: I think that Sasha has it in her head that

1040
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 1: there is only one right path. And I think sometimes women,

1041
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 1: I think specifically, can get it in their like brain

1042
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 1: that the only way to kind of push against the

1043
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: glass ceiling and to break through it is this one

1044
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 1: specific path coming a you know, a big business lady

1045
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: and you know, making all this money, which is not

1046
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 1: the case. I think to lead a successful life, you know,

1047
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: as a fem person, is to do what makes you

1048
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:30,600
Speaker 1: happy and not base that decision off of what other

1049
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 1: people expect of you.

1050
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 2: So hard, yeah, so hard to do that. This is

1051
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,919
Speaker 2: very hard. Yeah, everybody has an opinion on that. And

1052
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 2: I think I also when I was younger, you know,

1053
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 2: I would I remember one girl in college who was like, yeah,

1054
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 2: after I graduated college, like I just want to be

1055
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 2: a mom. Yeah, And I think I didn't fully understand it.

1056
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 2: And actually one of my friends was like mad about it,

1057
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 2: similar to this, where they were just like, why would

1058
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 2: you ever want to do? Why you're so much more

1059
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 2: than that. But I think we forget And I was

1060
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 2: talking to another friend about this today, like raising a

1061
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 2: is a huge responsibility. That's your human that that's your

1062
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 2: person that you have to turn into a good person. Yeah.

1063
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: And as long as your choices aren't affecting other people's lives.

1064
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,439
Speaker 2: You're good. It's your own choice. Yeah.

1065
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: And those are all those are all choices worthy of respect. Uh,

1066
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: and they should not be belittled. Yeah, But there's some

1067
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 1: relevant comments to finish the story. Hello fromar says something

1068
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 1: is going on in Sasha's head. The sudden change in

1069
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 1: behavior and hostility towards her mother is something new. What

1070
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 1: has changed? Op says, as far as we know, nothing

1071
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,799
Speaker 1: has changed. We've tried talking to her long before this,

1072
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:45,760
Speaker 1: when the attitude first began, and multiple times since. She says,

1073
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 1: the only thing that's changed is that as she looks

1074
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 1: closer to her future and all she wants, she can't

1075
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 1: help but feel what a shame it is that my

1076
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:56,280
Speaker 1: wife never got it. Outside that same school, same friends,

1077
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 1: she had a fun summer doing all she wanted to do.

1078
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: By all accounts, she's a happy teenager who claims she's

1079
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: simply being empathetic by feeling sorry for my wife. I

1080
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 1: still think I still think there's something going on. I

1081
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: think so too, Yeah, because why why why sudden change?

1082
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 2: It also sounds like they have a good life.

1083
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I think that it's always a good thing

1084
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: to keep an eye out for a.

1085
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 2: Teenager because she is a teenager.

1086
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, whenever there is a sudden change in.

1087
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 2: Attitude and something's happening, something's going on, and it's sometimes

1088
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 2: it's hard to like spot it. Yeah, but that is

1089
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,320
Speaker 2: the end of that story, the end of this episode

1090
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 2: and the end of the stream. That was a bit

1091
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 2: of a bummer too. Yeah, God, not as much as

1092
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 2: a bummer as your story. Yeah, mine is a super bummer.

1093
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 2: Like everyone gets bummers, right, I just get the super bother.

1094
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 2: But you know, shout out stay at home moms. That

1095
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:59,839
Speaker 2: is a lot of work. Kids are tough. I don't

1096
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 2: have I know. I'm so happy when I get to

1097
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 2: give him back. It's amazing. Yeah, Curby, gir Lava Flame,

1098
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 2: thank you for the ten bucks. She watched too much TikTok.

1099
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 1: Everyone is talking about the trad wife to single mom pipeline.

1100
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 1: People are judging tradwives now as stupid as a tradwife.

1101
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 1: It hurts, but I have discernment. Teens don't. Honeybee eighty five,

1102
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 1: thank you for the two sixty three aanngsy. Teens are peachy,

1103
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 1: aren't they? Kelsey Hoff, thank you for the five bucks. Amy,

1104
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 1: Thank you for the five bucks posted in Discord. But

1105
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 1: Anthony looks like a young young Tom Selleck. He only

1106
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,319
Speaker 1: needs a Ferrari and an eighties short to make it real.

1107
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 1: Now I can pouch.

1108
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 3: What I thought I was a young Tom Seller.

1109
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 2: You do not look like a young Tom Selleck. You

1110
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 2: look like you and that's beautiful. Thanks.

1111
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 3: Thanks. Whenever I wear my short shorts, i am Tom Sells.

1112
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 2: I I guess maybe just any man with a mustache,

1113
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 2: because I'm not Harry Asian persuasion. Thank you for the

1114
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:01,239
Speaker 2: left Oh five bucks conspiracy. The daughter got rejected from

1115
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 2: her dream college and is scared of turning into her

1116
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 2: mom and it's coming out as anger. Oh I like that.

1117
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 2: I like Yeah, put your guys's conspiracy theories in their chats,

1118
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 2: but that is the industream. Woo yeah. Okay, So if

1119
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 2: you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love you

1120
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 2: and see you tomorrow.