Speaker 1: Hi everybody. While I'm taking the month of September off
Speaker 1: of doing stand up, I return on October one to
Speaker 1: complete my Vaccinated and Horny tour. October, November, and December,
Speaker 1: I have new dates up. I kick it off in Saratoga, California,
Speaker 1: and I'm coming to all parts of California, Long Beach,
Speaker 1: Baker's Field. I'm going to Niagara Falls, Tucson, Arizona, Colorado, Minneapolis,
Speaker 1: San Diego, Reading, Pennsylvania, and Baltimore, Maryland, just to name
Speaker 1: a few. There's also some Floridian dates in there, since
Speaker 1: this will be my last year that I'm able to
Speaker 1: go inside the state of Florida. So check out Chelsea
Speaker 1: Handler dot com for more stand up dates for my
Speaker 1: Vaccinated in Horny Tour. These are my last dates. Okay,
Speaker 1: hello Catherine, Hi Chelsea. Oh my god, I am fresh
Speaker 1: as a daisy. I'm so glad. I had a big
Speaker 1: photo shoot this weekend and I had to really nail
Speaker 1: it down, which was not hard at all. I actually
Speaker 1: enjoyed the week of preparation because I had been on
Speaker 1: vacation for base only a month and drinking obviously a lot,
Speaker 1: and eating whatever I felt like. Actually, no I'm pretty
Speaker 1: good when I'm my vacation, I don't go off. But anyway,
Speaker 1: I had to get my act together for this photo
Speaker 1: shoot that will be coming out soon. I won't say
Speaker 1: what it is for yet, but everyone's going to find
Speaker 1: out because it'll probably be a pretty big campaign. But
Speaker 1: I love having to get ready for something because that's
Speaker 1: the only reason I would just get it. Like I
Speaker 1: came home for a week hunkered down. I'm like, on
Speaker 1: my program, no drinking, no bada. I have been smoking pot,
Speaker 1: but I'm not supposed to be smoking pot at all
Speaker 1: because of my situation with my vocal cords. But I
Speaker 1: decided to give myself a treat and I started a
Speaker 1: new endorsement deal, also a brand partnership deal with a
Speaker 1: company called leisure Town, which is a cannabis drink. So
Speaker 1: you will be getting a full supply of that because
Speaker 1: it has the lowest amount of sugar. It only has
Speaker 1: four grams of sugar. It's calories and they're light, so
Speaker 1: you can get CBD or you can get th HC,
Speaker 1: and the th HC version only has two point five
Speaker 1: milligram of th HC. So yeah, I'm going to bring
Speaker 1: you a kid. I love that. Absolutely, that's so exciting
Speaker 1: to see. I'm somebody who works the deadlines too. Like
Speaker 1: if I have something that I know is coming up,
Speaker 1: like I can get it done, I can make it happen.
Speaker 1: But like I need that sort of motivation that impetus
Speaker 1: to like here's what I'm aiming for. Yeah, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: absolutely I need a deadline as well. If they left
Speaker 1: to my own devices, I mean I would just basically
Speaker 1: sit on my ass and it smoked pot with Bert
Speaker 1: and just stare at him until the taco arrived. I
Speaker 1: love it. He likes Spot a little bit more than Bernice. Well,
Speaker 1: he's like a pothead, you know. That explains his laziness.
Speaker 1: They're so sweet though, since I haven't been there, they
Speaker 1: love me now and they come in my room at
Speaker 1: night and they're both on the floor and then Bert
Speaker 1: looks at me in the morning like when are you
Speaker 1: going to feed me? And I'm like, oh, honey, I
Speaker 1: am going to feed you. Actually, because when I'm home now,
Speaker 1: I take their feeding more seriously because I'm wanting to
Speaker 1: know that I too love them. I'm just not that
Speaker 1: interested in sticking around their way, right, and like the
Speaker 1: food comes from you when you're home, not my bell
Speaker 1: and yeah. Well, we have a quick follow up from
Speaker 1: one of our callers. This is from Quinn, who called
Speaker 1: in on our episode with Ashley Graham a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: She had sort of wanted to know if she should
Speaker 1: lose weight before getting into the dating scene. And she says, Hey,
Speaker 1: Chelsea and Catherine. I know it's only been a short
Speaker 1: time since we last spoke, but I wanted to give
Speaker 1: a progress update. I just recently started a new job
Speaker 1: as a campaign manager for my boss's state Assembly reelection campaign.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, He's a Democrat and damn good one at that.
Speaker 1: At first, I was really nervous about taking this job,
Speaker 1: as I would be in a new city where I
Speaker 1: wouldn't know anyone. However, per your advice, I've begun journaling
Speaker 1: most nights and have become more conscious of how I've
Speaker 1: been treating myself, both physically and mentally. All of this
Speaker 1: has helped me find new avenues of confidence, like being
Speaker 1: a motherfucking campaign manager. This new confidence has helped me
Speaker 1: get on the dating apps again in this new city
Speaker 1: and begin swiping away. I haven't had a date yet,
Speaker 1: but I'm definitely talking to multiple people right now, and
Speaker 1: it's always fun. I know I will definitely have to
Speaker 1: keep building my confidence and my healthy living journey is
Speaker 1: far from over, but I am proud of the progress
Speaker 1: I've made so far. Thanks for your help. Quinn. Oh,
Speaker 1: great job, Quinn, wait to fucking get after it. Good job.
Speaker 1: I love that, I know. And it's like when you
Speaker 1: start doing other things, you realize, like man, confidence can
Speaker 1: come from all these different places, like it just doesn't
Speaker 1: have to come from like one avenue in your life. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: confidence can come from your friendships, from your family, from
Speaker 1: your job, from you know, your relationship with yourself, from
Speaker 1: your animals. You're just making contributions. It builds, instills confidence
Speaker 1: and builds it absolutely well. It's actually a fitting follow
Speaker 1: up for our guest today. He is going to join
Speaker 1: us here in st Okay. Guys, you're in for a
Speaker 1: real special treat. Okay. I have Ben Bruno, my trainer,
Speaker 1: is our guest today and I have spent every morning
Speaker 1: at eight o'clock with him for the last week. So
Speaker 1: the last thing I want to do is spend an
Speaker 1: hour with him on this podcast. But guess what he's
Speaker 1: coming right in Yo yo yo, Ben, you put on headphones.
Speaker 1: All right, Ben Bruno's here today everyone. He's my personal
Speaker 1: trainer and Catherine, have you ever met Ben before? And
Speaker 1: not in person, just see him on your Instagram. Okay,
Speaker 1: well this must be a thrill for you. Ben. Thank
Speaker 1: you first of all for bringing me coffee. That was
Speaker 1: really nice. I brought her coffee. I just go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he brought Katherine and me coffee. If it was for you,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have brought it. Well, you were texting me,
Speaker 1: so it's pretty weird that you don't know that that
Speaker 1: was for me. But furthermore, why did you call me
Speaker 1: when I put my order in for the coffee? Oh?
Speaker 1: Because the order I didn't know what it was. It
Speaker 1: was called the Starbucks Refresher, which I didn't know what
Speaker 1: that meant. And then when I ordered it no lemonade.
Speaker 1: I was faced with the choice of mango, strawberry or pineapple.
Speaker 1: So I called and nobody picked up. So I just
Speaker 1: went with mango. So whoever that is, you're getting mango,
Speaker 1: I'm really pleased. I've never tried the mango one before,
Speaker 1: So here we are. We just picked what I would want.
Speaker 1: If you didn't like it, I was like, then I
Speaker 1: would go with Mango. Thank you, Ben, strong decision making. So, Catherine,
Speaker 1: Ben has been my trainer for how many years been?
Speaker 1: What's our too long? Probably seven years, seven or eight years,
Speaker 1: A long time, A long time. I would say it's
Speaker 1: probably common law at this point. Hey annoyed me, extremely
Speaker 1: annoyed me from the very outset of our relationships, and
Speaker 1: I also annoy him a great deal. But we've managed
Speaker 1: to remain in a trainer relationship for a very long time,
Speaker 1: my longest trainer relationship, that's for sure. And so he's
Speaker 1: trained a lot of my friends and a lot of
Speaker 1: my family members, and no one who's really as enthusiastic
Speaker 1: as I am about working out. I wouldn't I wouldn't
Speaker 1: call it enthusiastic. No, you're not enthusiastic at all. But well,
Speaker 1: what it's my motivation? Then I will say, you always
Speaker 1: do show up, but you never seem to like it. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what kind of excitement you
Speaker 1: want to happen during a workout where you come out
Speaker 1: of a set and you're like, fuck, that was killed.
Speaker 1: I don't. I get it's just working out, But I
Speaker 1: also think I've never actually met trying to think that
Speaker 1: this is true. But I don't think I've met anyone
Speaker 1: that complains more than you do. I don't. That's such bullshit.
Speaker 1: That is a total bullshit. No, it's not about working out.
Speaker 1: I complain about or put me on a polygraph. I'm serious. Well,
Speaker 1: we don't have a polygraph, Ben, because that's from the
Speaker 1: I'm telling the truth. No, they still use polygraph not
Speaker 1: admissible in court though. Anyway, Ben, are you what people
Speaker 1: would consider a bro? In some ways? I'm a bro?
Speaker 1: I yeah, I don't like to admit it. But when
Speaker 1: I think of my interests and what I do for
Speaker 1: fun and things, for better or worse, I'm just like
Speaker 1: a typical dude. Right, Okay, so you what does that
Speaker 1: mean to you? What are your interests? You know, I
Speaker 1: like working out, I like watching football. I love golf.
Speaker 1: I love watching golf. All my golf friends understand that
Speaker 1: everyone else thinks that's the dumbest thing ever. I like
Speaker 1: dude stuff. I like, uh, you know, my go to
Speaker 1: order is a burger and fries. Yeah, I would say
Speaker 1: I'm pretty average. I actually googled average height for a
Speaker 1: dude because I have a lot of friends that play basketball,
Speaker 1: and so when I'm around them. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: just three ft tall, and I'm right on average. I'm
Speaker 1: five nine and three quarters and the average according to
Speaker 1: Google is five nine and like point six. And then
Speaker 1: my shoe size is a nine and a half, which
Speaker 1: is average for a guy. So in just about every way,
Speaker 1: I'm average. Well that's good for you to know. I'm
Speaker 1: glad that there's scientific data behind that to back up
Speaker 1: that argument, because yes, nine three quarters, So stop that
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. Well, no one is saying three quarters. I listen,
Speaker 1: I will round up. I'm gonna say five ten. Say
Speaker 1: that that's better than saying five nine and three quarters.
Speaker 1: Why why do you say five ten minus one quarter?
Speaker 1: See just so the listeners. No, this is the type
Speaker 1: of ship that I deal with every single workout. Chelsea
Speaker 1: comes in every day. I'm gonna I'm gonna give the listeners.
Speaker 1: This is actually therapy for me. I'm gonna give the
Speaker 1: listeners like taste into what I deal with on a
Speaker 1: daily basis. She comes in, I say, Hi, how are
Speaker 1: you feeling? Because that's actually very important because I'm a trainer.
Speaker 1: I need to know how your body is feeling. Then
Speaker 1: I say how you doing, which to me means like
Speaker 1: you're like mental state, what's been going on? Whatever? Also,
Speaker 1: to backtrack, I see Chelsea every fucking day, So a
Speaker 1: big part of it is just trying to kill the hour.
Speaker 1: I need talking points. Yeah, well that's what you do
Speaker 1: need because the questions you ask are repetitive. When I say,
Speaker 1: how is your body feeling? Then how you're doing? She goes,
Speaker 1: you just ask me that, You just ask me because
Speaker 1: you do. You have different things, but you repeat yourself
Speaker 1: all the time. You go, you go like this, hold on,
Speaker 1: let me talk now, you say, he goes, I come in,
Speaker 1: He goes, Hey, how you doing good? How you doing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Time the third No, well, then come up with some
Speaker 1: new material. There's not new material nothing. You can't just
Speaker 1: keep asking the same question and hoping for a different answer.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make any accumulate talking points if I do
Speaker 1: something on the weekend. But otherwise my day's my life's
Speaker 1: ground Hug day. I trained people, and then I eat
Speaker 1: dinner and I watch a little TV, go to bed
Speaker 1: call today, so there's not much for us to talk
Speaker 1: about from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday. Also, her life
Speaker 1: is ground Hug day, so she don't have shipped to
Speaker 1: talk about either, So I'm just grasping at straws. And
Speaker 1: then everything I do say she tells me is a
Speaker 1: dumb question. And then also just so that people know
Speaker 1: as a trainer, I I actually I find this funny.
Speaker 1: I take pride in being pretty creative. I'll to my
Speaker 1: own horn. I I got named the most innovative trainer
Speaker 1: by Men's Health. Meanwhile, every single day two years, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm still it is what it is. Meanwhile, in
Speaker 1: my field, I'm considered innovative every day that since I've
Speaker 1: trained Chelsea, which I don't know how many days that is,
Speaker 1: but it's way too many. She goes Google new Ship.
Speaker 1: We did this one before, as if like that's what
Speaker 1: training is. You were just pretty much otate twenty exercises
Speaker 1: till one of us gets sick of the other person
Speaker 1: and moves on. But every day it's like Google new ship,
Speaker 1: Google new ship. And then any time I show something different,
Speaker 1: she's like, this is way dumber than the original one.
Speaker 1: This is like dumb. So that is what I go
Speaker 1: through people, and you love it. You love it. I'm
Speaker 1: glad it seems like you're getting stuff off your chest.
Speaker 1: So Katherine Ben is a very straight bro. How I
Speaker 1: would classify him in my group of people that I know,
Speaker 1: and he goes to therapy. He has a therapist that
Speaker 1: he's been seeing for a few years now, right, six
Speaker 1: or seven? Oh yeah, six or seven years. And let's
Speaker 1: talk about I would like to hear about your therapy
Speaker 1: experience as a male, as a bro, because a lot
Speaker 1: of men can't go to therapy and they don't want
Speaker 1: to even talk about what's really happening because they're scared
Speaker 1: and they don't think it's a necessary So what's been
Speaker 1: your experience? Well, I'll tell you how it started. I
Speaker 1: tried therapy at two different points in my life before
Speaker 1: this little six month run. Once six year ru six
Speaker 1: year run. Sorry. Once when I was ten years old,
Speaker 1: I got put in therapy, but I don't think it
Speaker 1: was therapy. I think it was um, I don't know
Speaker 1: all the differences, but this guy was a psychiatrist. To
Speaker 1: backtrack real quick, my my dad passed away when I
Speaker 1: was nine, and that's obviously there's a lot of ship
Speaker 1: that comes with that. So my mom put me in
Speaker 1: therapy with the guy that my dad had actually seen,
Speaker 1: and that was definitely different than the therapy, I do now,
Speaker 1: because that was like I would say to him that
Speaker 1: that was a failed attempt. I guess because he would
Speaker 1: say he was a medicine guy, and I think maybe
Speaker 1: some people benefit from medicine, but I think sometimes feelings
Speaker 1: of depression and stuff can be situational. Sometimes it's probably chemical,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's situational. And I just remember at ten, the
Speaker 1: guy would say to me, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: your dad dying? And I'd say, I'm sad, and I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: who wouldn't be sid And then I went again when
Speaker 1: I was probably nineteen or twenty. At another low point
Speaker 1: in my life. I had a back surgery when I
Speaker 1: was nineteen in college, and the surgery did nerve damage
Speaker 1: in my right leg, and in hindsight, it was a
Speaker 1: great thing for me because it got me into physical
Speaker 1: fitness and now I'm a trainer because of it. But
Speaker 1: at the time it was a real low point because
Speaker 1: I had always been very physically active and into sports.
Speaker 1: And after the surgery, I lost about forty pounds and
Speaker 1: I'm I was this big to begin with, so I
Speaker 1: didn't even have that to lose. I was super skinny
Speaker 1: week and just really depressed because my right leg like
Speaker 1: basically shut down. I couldn't drive or anything like that.
Speaker 1: And so I was super depressed and tried therapy again,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't really open to it at the time.
Speaker 1: Long story short, Now this is my third foray into it,
Speaker 1: and this time started about six years ago. I woke
Speaker 1: up one day and thought I just drank too much
Speaker 1: coffee on an empty stomach and just felt wired and
Speaker 1: just got something to eat, kind of went about my day.
Speaker 1: Second day this happened, I felt this crazy fast heartbeat
Speaker 1: the middle of Los Angeles, which is hot, and I
Speaker 1: was freezing cold and felt like I couldn't take in air.
Speaker 1: It was this really weird feeling. I couldn't breathe. So
Speaker 1: I was training a guy I still trained him now,
Speaker 1: and he was like, dude, you gotta go to the doctor.
Speaker 1: So I went to the doctor. They did this whole
Speaker 1: work up on me E k G. The treadmill test,
Speaker 1: and then the guy told me I had a panic attack,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what the fuck. I think most
Speaker 1: of my friends people in my life would describe me
Speaker 1: as pretty chill. This is like, right now, this is
Speaker 1: as animated as I ever get. I'm a pretty even
Speaker 1: keel person, and so the panic attack thing felt weird
Speaker 1: to me because I usually felt like I was never
Speaker 1: two up or down, and that really threw me for
Speaker 1: a loop because I was like, wait, am I like
Speaker 1: cra easy? Like what is this thing? The panic attack
Speaker 1: was made worse by all those feelings that I think
Speaker 1: people dudes might have when they think of, like I've
Speaker 1: had a panic attack, because it seems weird. And I
Speaker 1: took myself down this whole rabbit hole over that. This
Speaker 1: is over the course of three or four days, where
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't believe I had a panic attack,
Speaker 1: Like am I like this anxiety kind of person? Now?
Speaker 1: I just felt very weird about it, and so someone
Speaker 1: suggested therapy, and then the first person that was recommended
Speaker 1: to me. Her advice was to carry around a brown
Speaker 1: paper bag in case you get anxiety and then you
Speaker 1: can breathe into it. And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing that. So then I was talking to one
Speaker 1: of my family friends from home because I had remembered
Speaker 1: his son got anxiety, and to be truthful, I didn't
Speaker 1: even really know what anxiety was prior to that, and
Speaker 1: he told me that there's this woman in l A
Speaker 1: that it was a great therapist, and I looked her
Speaker 1: up and she happened to be very close to my house.
Speaker 1: So I've seen her ever since that panic attack, And
Speaker 1: originally my first appointment was just to figure out why
Speaker 1: I had a panic attack, and then I've just been
Speaker 1: going ever since. In some ways, I think of it
Speaker 1: like a paid friend, but a friend that just gives
Speaker 1: like way better advice than my real friends. Because the
Speaker 1: thing about dudes, dudes don't want to go to therapy,
Speaker 1: But I bet guys we probably need it more than
Speaker 1: women because guys just in general give shitty advice. So
Speaker 1: if you ever talk to your friends about your problems,
Speaker 1: you're not getting good advice. They're probably gonna direct you
Speaker 1: in a way that will like lead to more problems.
Speaker 1: So I think it's good to just have a professional opinion.
Speaker 1: And then also too, I do spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time as a trainer. I take on a lot of
Speaker 1: other people's problems over the course of the day. They
Speaker 1: tell me all their stuff, but I don't really get
Speaker 1: too into my stuff. And I realized that it's just
Speaker 1: good for me to have you have this outlet to
Speaker 1: get everything off your Yeah, I haven't spoken in like
Speaker 1: eight minutes, so I mean, let it rap. I'm just talking. Honestly.
Speaker 1: I had to deal with Chelsea for an hour already today,
Speaker 1: so I can't hear her talk anymore. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: keep talking. But I think for me, it's just I
Speaker 1: go once a week or once every other week, and
Speaker 1: I get a good sounding board, and I think sometimes
Speaker 1: even if there's actually a lot of times I will
Speaker 1: say I've told her straight up that I'm not really
Speaker 1: good at the therapy process. Sometimes she'll ask me. I'll
Speaker 1: be telling her something and she'll ask me, like, how
Speaker 1: does that make you feel? And I'm like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: Like I'm still trying to figure out my emotions. But
Speaker 1: I think talking through things sometimes I solve my own problems.
Speaker 1: But it's also just good to have someone to talk to.
Speaker 1: And it's made me probably better than maybe it has.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Your body is pretty good. At least
Speaker 1: I've yet to google any exercises for her personality. We're
Speaker 1: working on that, but I do think it helps me.
Speaker 1: I noticed. I think it's helped me a lot in
Speaker 1: now I have a living girlfriend. It's helped me with
Speaker 1: that type of stuff and she likes it. I go
Speaker 1: to therapy, so do dude should go? Just it's probably
Speaker 1: a better way to get girls too. I think girls
Speaker 1: actually now it's like now it's cool. Now it's cool.
Speaker 1: So the other part to this is I remember when
Speaker 1: I first went to therapy. There was like sort of
Speaker 1: a shame when I had the panic attack where I
Speaker 1: felt like I was copying to guilt to a couple
Speaker 1: of my buddies and across the board all my guy friends.
Speaker 1: But one was like, oh, yeah, dude, I go to
Speaker 1: And I was like, what the funk? I've known you
Speaker 1: forever and I don't even know this. Guys just don't
Speaker 1: really talk about it. But I think it's more common
Speaker 1: than they think. Do Have you had a panic attack
Speaker 1: since you went to therapy? You know? I don't think
Speaker 1: to that level, but yes I have. But it's it's
Speaker 1: actually way better now knowing what it is, because I've
Speaker 1: had times stress, you know, and who I don't know
Speaker 1: the continuum of panic attack for stress first whatever, but
Speaker 1: I've definitely had times where I'll be feeling nervous about
Speaker 1: something or uncomfortable or just unhappy, and then my heart
Speaker 1: rate just gets jacked. It's like I can feel it
Speaker 1: throughout my whole body, or I'll just start sweating or
Speaker 1: things like that. And so I've learned now it's less
Speaker 1: of a panic attack, because i think part of the
Speaker 1: panic part comes, at least for me, from not knowing
Speaker 1: what it was. But when you know what it is,
Speaker 1: and I've learned breathing techniques and I've learned how powerful
Speaker 1: breath can be to back that stuff down. The breathing
Speaker 1: thing is crazy in the sense that I can go
Speaker 1: from feeling jacked up to like a zen like stoned,
Speaker 1: in like a minute, just through breath. What breathing exercises
Speaker 1: do you do? Uh? Well, they're all cousins of each other.
Speaker 1: I think I've learned different ones, but one is called
Speaker 1: It's just a breathing ladder that I learned, and that
Speaker 1: is essentially the exhales twice as long as the inhale.
Speaker 1: So you breathe in for one second, out for two,
Speaker 1: in for two out for four, three, six, four, eight,
Speaker 1: five ten, then you do five ten twice and then
Speaker 1: go back down four eight, three, six, etcetera. And by
Speaker 1: the end, etcetera. And then by the end you know
Speaker 1: you you either are cool, or you do it once through.
Speaker 1: Another thing that I just learned actually from therapy is
Speaker 1: called square breathing, and I believe in and it started
Speaker 1: with the Navy seals. I could be wrong about that,
Speaker 1: but I think that's what she said, and that's essentially
Speaker 1: think of a square. So the you inhale for four,
Speaker 1: then hold it for four seconds, exhale for four, hold
Speaker 1: it for four seconds, and you repeat that. Another thing
Speaker 1: is called five seven eight. You'll see they're all related,
Speaker 1: but five five seven eight is breathe in for five,
Speaker 1: hold it for seven, exhale for eight. That that I
Speaker 1: learned from my training mentor, Mike Boyle, and that takes
Speaker 1: it's a twenty second breath and you go through three times.
Speaker 1: He actually told it to me in the sense of
Speaker 1: he's a he's a napper and can basically put himself
Speaker 1: to sleep in the afternoon doing that, which is pretty crazy.
Speaker 1: And then I can't remember the fourth one, but they're
Speaker 1: all in a similar type of thing. And I actually
Speaker 1: remember that time you taught me the meditation where we
Speaker 1: did the guided meditation in my front yard and then
Speaker 1: I just passed out. I don't know if you even
Speaker 1: remember that you had a guided meditation. I didn't teach
Speaker 1: you anything. It was a guided meditation that we listened to. Well,
Speaker 1: you taught me. I never tried it before, But to
Speaker 1: people listening, I thought meditation. I'm not even fucking talking,
Speaker 1: and I don't think you can tell me to shout
Speaker 1: up at this point, buddy, Well, I think, uh, the
Speaker 1: meditation was a thing that Chelsea turned me onto that
Speaker 1: felt too woo woo for me. I Um, I have
Speaker 1: a real tricky time, like I hate like yoga class,
Speaker 1: I like stretching, but anything that feels to woo woo,
Speaker 1: that's what I thought the meditation was. But Chelsea's actually
Speaker 1: taken me through two guided meditations and I fell asleep
Speaker 1: both times. And I'm not a napper, So that that
Speaker 1: shows to me that, uh, it's probably something worth exploring. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: and I mean when you're focusing on your breath, you know,
Speaker 1: some people say that meditation is really just focusing on
Speaker 1: yourself and focusing on your breath. So in a way,
Speaker 1: like you're doing your own form of meditation where you're
Speaker 1: doing this box breathing or these you know, these other
Speaker 1: types of breathing techniques. The breathing stuff actually works better
Speaker 1: for me than just trying to meditate, because it could
Speaker 1: just be me, but I doubt it. It's really hard
Speaker 1: to just be told clear your mind for ten or
Speaker 1: twenty minutes, because all I do is just think about
Speaker 1: all the ship that's been bothering me. So I think
Speaker 1: the breathing stuff is good for me in the sense
Speaker 1: that I don't go blank minded. I'm counting the whole time,
Speaker 1: so my mind can't wander. Yeah, it gives you something
Speaker 1: to focus on. Yeah, I bet you. With all your
Speaker 1: breathing though, now you would be able to meditate more
Speaker 1: easily because the meditation is just focusing on your breathing,
Speaker 1: because it is a meditative thing anyway. So are you
Speaker 1: ready to give some advice to callers? People call in
Speaker 1: ask for real life advice, and then we have to
Speaker 1: give them good advice. This feels like the blind leading
Speaker 1: the blind. Well, we're gonna take a quick break and
Speaker 1: we will be right back to answer some questions and
Speaker 1: we're back fantastic. Well, you know what, We're gonna do
Speaker 1: things a little bit differently today because this is training
Speaker 1: focused and health focused. We've got a lot of sort
Speaker 1: of like quick little bite questions. So are you going
Speaker 1: to be able to answer a questions to sent way
Speaker 1: or are you going to ramble on and on and
Speaker 1: on on? All right, let's hear the questions. We have
Speaker 1: something to ramble on a little bit later. We have
Speaker 1: some really good callers calling in, but we'll just start
Speaker 1: with some little quickies. So our first question is resistance
Speaker 1: training using one's own body for weight training a k A.
Speaker 1: Plank pull ups, push ups, etcetera. Just as efficient and
Speaker 1: beneficial as lifting weights. Joe. Joe, Yes to a point.
Speaker 1: I think in the beginning it's great, but I think
Speaker 1: as you acclimate to your own body weight, it's really
Speaker 1: good to add a little bit more resistance. And we
Speaker 1: we follow a tendant in training. It's called progressive overload,
Speaker 1: basically meaning like you want to gradually make things harder.
Speaker 1: So unless you just kept adding body weight, which I
Speaker 1: don't think many people want to do, you're going to
Speaker 1: run out of ways to progressively overload. Got it? I agree?
Speaker 1: Chelsea concurs. Hi, Chelsea and Ben. My name is Abby.
Speaker 1: I followed that on Instagram, and I'm curious if he's
Speaker 1: still single. I wanted some he's got to live in girlfriend?
Speaker 1: That was quick? Sorry, Abby, I wanted some advice on
Speaker 1: how to get motivated for the gym. I used to
Speaker 1: go every day in between shifts at work. I now
Speaker 1: find myself struggling for motivation to go even once a week. Chelsea,
Speaker 1: You're in insane shape, so maybe you could chime in
Speaker 1: on this too. PS. I'm twenties six years old, Abbey
Speaker 1: bed Why don't you take the lead on this one.
Speaker 1: I don't know the question in that it sounds like
Speaker 1: she was just explaining her situation. Yeah, I think the
Speaker 1: question is how to get motivated for the gym. To me,
Speaker 1: something that is interesting to note is that like she
Speaker 1: was maybe doing like a shift at are going to
Speaker 1: the gym and then doing another shift at work, which
Speaker 1: like you can do when you're like but she may
Speaker 1: have just been sort of overworking herself in general. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like that my motivation is looking good,
Speaker 1: so I just feel more like mentally normal and clearheaded
Speaker 1: when I am feeling good and looking good, and I
Speaker 1: like to be strong. I was on vacation for two
Speaker 1: weeks recently, and I didn't work out for two weeks,
Speaker 1: and that was probably the first time in like two
Speaker 1: weeks I've never worked out first time in two weeks,
Speaker 1: the first time that I didn't work out for the
Speaker 1: duration of two weeks, you know, like I'll always work
Speaker 1: out so and shut the funk up, just trying to
Speaker 1: help the people that made no and I didn't like
Speaker 1: it because my ass melted. And then I got back
Speaker 1: and I worked out for like a week. I did
Speaker 1: pilates for a week. But like, as soon as you
Speaker 1: start working out and seeing the results, I think that's
Speaker 1: really it. Once you start to see the results, it
Speaker 1: becomes kind of addicting. I will say, personally, I'm not
Speaker 1: the type of trainer that just lives to work out.
Speaker 1: I'm not somebody that works out every day. I usually
Speaker 1: strength train three days a week, and then on other
Speaker 1: days I try. I try to be active every day,
Speaker 1: but I get sick of my own workouts. I've I've
Speaker 1: been I've been training people for fifteen years, and I'm
Speaker 1: just kind of you know, I spend my whole day
Speaker 1: in the gym. So what I do when I'm not
Speaker 1: feeling motivated, because I definitely have weeks where I won't
Speaker 1: do the weights, is I just make appointments with friends
Speaker 1: to hold myself accountable. You know, a lot of a
Speaker 1: lot of my clients probably a big part of it.
Speaker 1: It's just built in accountability. But if you don't have
Speaker 1: a trainer, you can create that same accountability by just
Speaker 1: making appointments with friends. There's a lot of times that
Speaker 1: I'll make an appointment on a Monday with my buddies
Speaker 1: for Tuesday, and I think to myself as they're driving over, man,
Speaker 1: if they if they cancel, like I'm skipping. So it's
Speaker 1: like it's a really good way I think for me
Speaker 1: to to stick to it. That's great. Next question, My
Speaker 1: question for Bruno is why don't you like burpes? I
Speaker 1: hate them. To Wendy Man, I don't even know why
Speaker 1: this is controversial. When I say I don't like burpies,
Speaker 1: all these like really jacked CrossFit guys get mad at me.
Speaker 1: But I'm not talking about for them. They can do
Speaker 1: whatever they want, but a lot of just normal people
Speaker 1: that don't live to work out think that that's the
Speaker 1: way that they're gonna lose weight. But burpies are actually
Speaker 1: I call them advanced exercise masquerading as a beginner exercise.
Speaker 1: It's actually pretty hard to do correctly and requires a
Speaker 1: lot of mobility. So if you just passed a normal
Speaker 1: workout class. I would call myself captain obvious if you
Speaker 1: went past a normal class. Almost everyone's that does burpies
Speaker 1: sucks at them like jack. Guys are the ones that
Speaker 1: fight me on it, but they don't even do them.
Speaker 1: It's always like beginners, and it requires a lot of
Speaker 1: mobility and a lot of people hurt their back, risks, knees,
Speaker 1: etcetera doing that, etcetera. Uh, and could easily just get
Speaker 1: their heart rate up through safer means. Yeah, it seems
Speaker 1: like something that is very easy to do with poor form,
Speaker 1: which can lead to getting hurt. So I just a
Speaker 1: simple way. I just say break it down into its
Speaker 1: two constituent parts and do push ups and squads separate
Speaker 1: but don't combine. I was had a trainer. I think
Speaker 1: this was I used Chloe Kardashians trainer for a short
Speaker 1: period of time, probably before I met you, Ben, and
Speaker 1: I remember in the middle I remember, I remember we
Speaker 1: broke up a couple of times. No, we didn't, we didn't. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I think he made me do a burbie. If I'm
Speaker 1: thinking correctly about what burpies are, which is when you
Speaker 1: run up and down the floor right like jump off
Speaker 1: like do like a belly flop. Yeah, And I as
Speaker 1: soon as I saw that, I was like, I can't
Speaker 1: do that. Not because I don't think the burpies work,
Speaker 1: It's just because they're too hard. It's too annoying to
Speaker 1: jump up and down like that. I'm not into jumping period. Well,
Speaker 1: our next question is make sure we asked Ben some
Speaker 1: real life questions to not just fitness. We shouldn't let
Speaker 1: him get off easy today. Okay, Well we'll have a
Speaker 1: couple more quickies and then we'll get to some serious stuff. Okay, great,
Speaker 1: I'm like twelve. I always laugh when I hear quickie.
Speaker 1: Oh God, that's what I'm dealing with everybody like a
Speaker 1: fucking eighth grader. Well, that fits right in with our
Speaker 1: next question, because our next question is I always have
Speaker 1: pain in my hips when I have sex and missionary position.
Speaker 1: I'm in the gym four times a week, and I
Speaker 1: have done a lot of hip mobility work on my
Speaker 1: hip flexers, but it hasn't fixed the problem. Any suggestions
Speaker 1: on specific exercises or stretches I could try. I like
Speaker 1: it from behind, so it's not the end of the world.
Speaker 1: But variation is the spice of Life. Thanks Jess. That's
Speaker 1: I'm glad you covered that, Jess, because Ben was going
Speaker 1: to say, take it from behind. That's exactly what you
Speaker 1: were going to say. I was thinking it, I wasn't
Speaker 1: gonna say it. I would say, First off, I'm curious,
Speaker 1: like what exactly she means when she says missionary, because
Speaker 1: I don't know how your hips could hurt, just like
Speaker 1: lying flat. But I think if if her legs are up,
Speaker 1: you know, around whatever, I would say that she probably
Speaker 1: could be doing some Yeah. I mean, now, sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: just visualizing your legs and then your hips are in. Off,
Speaker 1: you don't just lie there like a stick figure. Some do.
Speaker 1: But there's you know, there's some there's some clarifications I need.
Speaker 1: But in general, I would tell her to do the
Speaker 1: pigeon stretch. That would be a good one. And yeah,
Speaker 1: and then if she wants to google or YouTube or
Speaker 1: whatever Stationary spider Man's that's a really good bang for
Speaker 1: your book, Mobility Drill. I don't hate that joke. I
Speaker 1: don't hate that my best I can't even say anything
Speaker 1: right now, Chelsea. We have a quick call from a
Speaker 1: friend of yours. Rosanna is calling perfect. She had a
Speaker 1: question for you, says My question for Ben would be
Speaker 1: how to make my calves smaller? They are enormous. Thanks Rosanna,
Speaker 1: that is a really tricky one. She already asked me,
Speaker 1: and I gave her what my feedback, which was, well,
Speaker 1: I'll wait for your feedback. Oh my god, look who
Speaker 1: it is is, Hi Hi. Oh my god, what a valiant.
Speaker 1: I love it. I'm in my pink palace. Rosanna is
Speaker 1: one of my friends who I just went to Vancouver
Speaker 1: Island with. I told them earlier about falling asleep, or
Speaker 1: maybe it was in another episode about falling asleep at
Speaker 1: three in the afternoon and then waking up at three am. Rosanna.
Speaker 1: We had a great time. Chuck spent a lot of
Speaker 1: the week sleeping and we watched Your Sleep. I brought
Speaker 1: her what she needed in between getting drunk in the
Speaker 1: hotel bar. It was a good week. Yeah, we didn't
Speaker 1: make it very far, but Rosanna made various reservations all
Speaker 1: throughout town every night, like six or seven different places
Speaker 1: for lunch and dinner, and then we would just cancel
Speaker 1: all of them and activities too. We also canceled a
Speaker 1: lot of activities, but we didn't need him Okay, so
Speaker 1: this is Ben Bruno, this is my trend, or you're
Speaker 1: finally needed Rosanna tell him about your situation. I have
Speaker 1: a situation. I have the opposite situation that most people have.
Speaker 1: I don't need to build up my calves. I need
Speaker 1: to reduce my calves. Their massive. They are not calves,
Speaker 1: They're full grown cows. So I just would like to
Speaker 1: be able to fit into boots. You really are you
Speaker 1: also recently lost weight? Right? How much weight have you lost?
Speaker 1: I'm not really quite sure, but I've definitely I've definitely
Speaker 1: lost them weight, and I've been heavier, I've been smaller,
Speaker 1: but no matter what, my calves are still so muscular.
Speaker 1: My legs in general are muscular, but my calves especially,
Speaker 1: I mean, Chelsea can tell you. We were in Victoria's.
Speaker 1: She was like, damn girl, those are sound cats. So
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's something I can do to
Speaker 1: lean them out. Wait, let me ask him one question.
Speaker 1: Did you notice that they reduced in size when you
Speaker 1: lost weight a little bit? Yeah, for sure, that's really
Speaker 1: the best thing you can do. Unfortunately, for both people
Speaker 1: that have small calves and big calves, calves are just
Speaker 1: some people have big calves genetically, some have teeny ones
Speaker 1: and more so than almost any other muscle. It's hard
Speaker 1: to change that. But I would say losing weight all
Speaker 1: over will definitely help you lose girth in your calves,
Speaker 1: but also doing things like calphrases to get them to
Speaker 1: shrink won't have that effect. So I would say, like,
Speaker 1: don't do anything other than you know, maybe lose weight,
Speaker 1: and also just know that it's one of those grass
Speaker 1: is Greener things. You probably think. It's way more negative
Speaker 1: than most people. I get far more questions about how
Speaker 1: to grow calves and like, like me, for example, I
Speaker 1: have teeny calves, to the point that if I ever
Speaker 1: share a video of myself doing pull ups on YouTube,
Speaker 1: the trolls tell me I'm cheating because my calves are
Speaker 1: so small that I have nothing to pull up. So
Speaker 1: just no rosetta there is. Yeah, it's just I bet
Speaker 1: I bet people just yeah right, Well, she used the
Speaker 1: calves the cows. That's cheesy Jim humor too, so we're
Speaker 1: even up. No calves the cows is the title of
Speaker 1: every like cheesy internet calf article like how to turn
Speaker 1: your calvestack cows. So but yeah, I would say, first off,
Speaker 1: congrats on losing the weight, But I would say as
Speaker 1: you do that more in your body acclimates and stuff,
Speaker 1: they'll probably come down a little bit. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: mean I take classes and stuff, and sometimes when they'll
Speaker 1: do the calfhrases and calf exercise, just set that one
Speaker 1: out and do the yoga shivasana and just lay there
Speaker 1: while they do the cal phrases. What about Pilate's like, well,
Speaker 1: that helped lengthen them out. No. So, actually that's a
Speaker 1: tricky one for me to broach because a lot of
Speaker 1: women that do pilates tell me that they want to
Speaker 1: get long and lean. It's actually impossible. Your muscles insertion
Speaker 1: points are set so you actually can't lengthen a muscle.
Speaker 1: When when when women say that, I just kind of
Speaker 1: nod because I know what they mean. But that's actually
Speaker 1: not happening. You can't lengthen a muscle. It's it is
Speaker 1: what it is, your anatomy. But I think you can
Speaker 1: tone the muscle and stuff like that. But I think
Speaker 1: a lot of what you're talking about will is just
Speaker 1: more about like weight loss and fat loss. Got it.
Speaker 1: But I do think pilates does help you be more
Speaker 1: conscientious of your posture and your alignment. So just by
Speaker 1: nature of doing it, you stand up a little bit
Speaker 1: taller and your posture is a little bit better, and
Speaker 1: that always makes everything also look better. Yeah, I actually
Speaker 1: love pilates. I didn't mean that to say I don't
Speaker 1: like pilates. I love it. I do it myself sometimes.
Speaker 1: But I think that it's a misnomer to say that
Speaker 1: you're lengthening things. But I do think that you're there's
Speaker 1: a ton of benefits to it. Okay, so my calves
Speaker 1: are what they are, more or less unfortunately. Okay, I
Speaker 1: want you to take that into the weekend, Rosanna, exactly energy.
Speaker 1: You can take that big calf energy into the weekend.
Speaker 1: It was very nice meeting, like it's your last. It
Speaker 1: was nice to meet you too. Thanks for calling Rosanna
Speaker 1: your problem. I'll talk to you later. Chuck, that was funny.
Speaker 1: She's cute. They all call me Chuck. I love that.
Speaker 1: It's very I don't know, actually just a mystery. While
Speaker 1: this is a very interesting gym and relationship related question,
Speaker 1: it's a little long. I cut it down to about
Speaker 1: a third of its original linkage. She's a writer by trade,
Speaker 1: but just be prepared Dear Chelsea. I'm a twenty six
Speaker 1: year old grad student in a relationship with my partner,
Speaker 1: we'll call him Dan, who's thirty one. We've been together
Speaker 1: for five years now, and it's been the most stable
Speaker 1: and loving relationship I've ever had. I've always been very
Speaker 1: skeptical of marriage, but in this relationship, I'm open to
Speaker 1: the idea, and we've been recently talking about getting engaged.
Speaker 1: Then something happened that has me questioning everything. Within the
Speaker 1: last few months, Dan has started a fitness journey cringe.
Speaker 1: I also hate that Word has been going to the
Speaker 1: gym with a personal trainer. It's all he talks about anymore,
Speaker 1: and I've often found him standing in the mirror flexing
Speaker 1: his arm muggles, which kind of makes me want to hurl.
Speaker 1: But I know he has had some insecurities about his
Speaker 1: appearance in the past, and I'm proud of him and
Speaker 1: the work he's been doing to feel good about himself
Speaker 1: and his body. When he started getting very into his
Speaker 1: gym life, I noticed that our intimacy was decreasing. There
Speaker 1: was an obvious shift. When I would bring it up,
Speaker 1: he'd brush it off, saying he was tired and deny
Speaker 1: my advances. One night, when I was met with this response,
Speaker 1: I had had enough. When I asked him what was
Speaker 1: going on, he paused, said he didn't want to hurt me,
Speaker 1: and eventually told me, you've gained a lot of weight
Speaker 1: in the last six months, and it's made me less interested.
Speaker 1: I guess I was crushed. I'm a healthy weight and
Speaker 1: I love my body. I work out five days a
Speaker 1: week at home, walk often, and eat well. I know
Speaker 1: I've gained a little weight, and I just accepted it
Speaker 1: as part of becoming an adult. I'm aware that I
Speaker 1: won't be the scrawny, hundred and ten pound girl he
Speaker 1: five years ago, forever just a sex. By the way,
Speaker 1: if this person is distancing himself from me due to
Speaker 1: a few pounds of weight gain, are the foundations of
Speaker 1: our relationships strong enough to handle the really hard things together.
Speaker 1: I can't get the comment out of my head. I
Speaker 1: went to stay with friends, and when I returned home,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend apologized endlessly. However, it all just feels like
Speaker 1: damage control. I fell in love with him because he
Speaker 1: was a kind, thoughtful, smart and loving intellectual book nerd.
Speaker 1: Now he's starting to feel like a conceited Jim rat.
Speaker 1: Should I try to work through this incident or hit
Speaker 1: the road. My love for him is not based on appearance,
Speaker 1: but this comment is making me question if he can
Speaker 1: love me the same way. Amy, Hi, Amy, Hi, how
Speaker 1: are you? Hi? Ben Bruno is our guest today. Hi,
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. That must have been an unpleasant
Speaker 1: conversation to have. It was, it was. It shocked me
Speaker 1: a little bit, but yeah, I decided to come back
Speaker 1: home and work it out. But not much has really changed,
Speaker 1: especially on his part. Still kind of obsessive with the
Speaker 1: working out, a lot of damage control, like saying, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't mean what I said this and that, and
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, then why did you say it? And
Speaker 1: it's just been really confusing. Did you leave for a
Speaker 1: period of time? I did, Yeah, about a week, just
Speaker 1: to like get my mind off of things and hang
Speaker 1: out with some friends. But yeah, it's just been it's
Speaker 1: been hard to wout my head around. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: pretty dicky thing for him to have said to you.
Speaker 1: And also like the whole obsessive working out, Like you
Speaker 1: could forgive that, but those two things together now you're
Speaker 1: piling on unattractive qualities. It's not a left field too.
Speaker 1: This is not like him. So within like the past
Speaker 1: two months, this obsession has started and has changed the
Speaker 1: way like he treats me and how he feels about
Speaker 1: himself as well. You know, we were at the beach
Speaker 1: the other weekend and I saw these growy guys that
Speaker 1: were like very muscular playing a game or whatever, and
Speaker 1: he looked over at them and looked out at himself,
Speaker 1: not really good about himself. So I'm trying to decide, like,
Speaker 1: are you saying these comments because you don't feel good
Speaker 1: about yourself? Or is this I don't know, it's it's
Speaker 1: just been so confusing. Yeah, I mean I think it's
Speaker 1: worth a longer conversation about it, where you sit down
Speaker 1: and be like, listen, this is like a big red
Speaker 1: flag to me, like, not only are you behaving in
Speaker 1: a way that seems obsessive, now you're attacking me. These
Speaker 1: are not qualities. I'm looking for to have a larger
Speaker 1: conversation about that and what that sets up for any
Speaker 1: future together. Right, you should call him out. What do
Speaker 1: you think, ben Well? Has he gone from non worker
Speaker 1: outer to like a full Jim Douche, like a full
Speaker 1: transformation kind of thing. Yeah, it's kind of been like
Speaker 1: I work out and stuff, but it's not all I
Speaker 1: talked about, Like it's just like a part of your routine,
Speaker 1: like being healthy, a part of your regime. Yes, regime, Yeah,
Speaker 1: the full on gym culture. Does he do like the
Speaker 1: weird eating habits and like this ship like that too?
Speaker 1: Not really. Definitely has cut down on alcohol, which that's fine,
Speaker 1: and definitely from working out at home to going to
Speaker 1: a gym where he has like a personal trainer and
Speaker 1: things like that. And maybe he's like looking at other
Speaker 1: people's bodies that are super jocked. I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to figure out when this is coming from.
Speaker 1: But it could be just like the new environment of
Speaker 1: where he's working out. I don't know. Well, I think
Speaker 1: a lot of workout dudes. It's hard for me to
Speaker 1: say without knowing him, but a lot of workout dudes
Speaker 1: have this. They call it body dysmorphia. But I think
Speaker 1: about themselves, and then I think they put that on
Speaker 1: to other people too. So I'll have trainer friends that
Speaker 1: are big dudes, you know. As reference, I'm five nine,
Speaker 1: about a hundred seventy pounds to some people, I'm big
Speaker 1: to some people, I'm small, But there's a lot of
Speaker 1: trainer dudes that are huge by all standards, and they
Speaker 1: talk about how they're insecure because they lose eyes and stuff,
Speaker 1: and I look at them, like, what are you talking
Speaker 1: about you? And then I think they also put I
Speaker 1: don't know what the word would be, but they have
Speaker 1: unrealistic expectations of what other people look like and things
Speaker 1: like that. But I think if he's going like full Jim,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to say douche, but douche,
Speaker 1: then I think he could be in that mindset where
Speaker 1: And I think also a lot of dudes get a
Speaker 1: superiority when they lift, you know. I remember when I
Speaker 1: moved to l A and started training actors, a lot
Speaker 1: of my Jim Rat friends would ask me what some
Speaker 1: of these famous guys like benched and squat and stuff,
Speaker 1: and when I would tell them the number, they would
Speaker 1: be like pussy, like they were better than them. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, this dude has you beat in every facet
Speaker 1: of life, and you're acting like you're better than him.
Speaker 1: But Jim, people are really like that sometimes, and I
Speaker 1: think that a lot of guys when they lift, get
Speaker 1: an arrogance about that. But as it relates to you.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's hard for me to say, but
Speaker 1: I think it's like super shitty that he's putting you
Speaker 1: in that spot. And I also wonder if he's expecting
Speaker 1: you to do all that weird stuff too, which would
Speaker 1: be dumb. I don't think you should. That's pressure should
Speaker 1: be placed on you. I will say again, I'm a trainer.
Speaker 1: I'm not somebody. I have very few trainer friends because
Speaker 1: I'm not somebody that likes to work out every day.
Speaker 1: If I have a buddy that tells me that, you know,
Speaker 1: he does like chest on Monday back on Wednesday, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're probably never gonna be friends that type of thing.
Speaker 1: But I think it's very healthy to work out in moderation.
Speaker 1: But I think when you take it too far, it
Speaker 1: can be unhealthy for your body and your mindset. You
Speaker 1: definitely have to talk to him. And you said he's
Speaker 1: like flexing in the mirror. This might be like addition
Speaker 1: by subtraction. If it doesn't end up working out, that's tricky. Great, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it feels like this may be an opportunity to encourage
Speaker 1: him to get into therapy. This doesn't even feel like
Speaker 1: a couple of therapy situation, but like he needs to
Speaker 1: examine why he is turning this self hate rid of
Speaker 1: his own body and his own fat or whatever on you.
Speaker 1: So this might be a time to encourage him to
Speaker 1: be like why don't why don't you explore that with
Speaker 1: somebody and what's coming up for you with that? M Yeah,
Speaker 1: So he started going to therapy and then we did
Speaker 1: have a longer conversation about this whole topic, and he
Speaker 1: like blamed it on seeing unrealistic body expectations, like both
Speaker 1: in the gym and on social media. And for me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, as a female, like that should I deal
Speaker 1: with every day? Like we all, so you'll put it
Speaker 1: on me, like, this isn't my problem, you know, it's
Speaker 1: his ship. I think that's a really really good point.
Speaker 1: And first of all, even if you have gained a
Speaker 1: little bit of weight, like you're still a very slender person,
Speaker 1: and even if you weren't, it wouldn't matter. It shouldn't
Speaker 1: matter to him what you weigh. He's having some sort
Speaker 1: of a physical mental reaction to whatever he's going through,
Speaker 1: and that's that's something he's got to kind of unpack
Speaker 1: on his own. Yeah, I guess My question knows do
Speaker 1: I stick around for that and how do I move
Speaker 1: forward with trust? I don't really trust you now, Like
Speaker 1: I don't really feel like I even know you anymore,
Speaker 1: Like you've changed in two months, like drastically, and not
Speaker 1: even his body, just like his perginality and what he's
Speaker 1: doing his actions. So yeah, I mean, if there's an
Speaker 1: opportunity for you to go to therapy with him and
Speaker 1: talk to his therapist with him, I would take that
Speaker 1: opportunity really yeah, and just say like, this is what
Speaker 1: I'm seeing. This is a different person than I, and
Speaker 1: I'm concerned, Like it's a little bit fanatical, and it's
Speaker 1: also having a negative impact on me. It's hard for
Speaker 1: something to be happy for somebody to encourage them when
Speaker 1: it's coming right back at you. He should be happy
Speaker 1: about his body. What's he focused on you for. I
Speaker 1: definitely think you have to press him a little more
Speaker 1: on what he meant by what he said and things,
Speaker 1: because I think it sounds like he backtracked. And I
Speaker 1: just know as a dude, sometimes if I say something
Speaker 1: that doesn't get a good reaction, I just retreat and
Speaker 1: then just go like, hey, I don't mean that, Like
Speaker 1: all good. But whether there's smoke, there's fire. So I
Speaker 1: think you have to really understand where he's coming from
Speaker 1: and then you can evaluate if it's something you can
Speaker 1: get past or not. But I think the retreat thing
Speaker 1: would probably be because he saw that he piste you
Speaker 1: off and hurt your feelings and doesn't want to keep
Speaker 1: that going. But the feelings are still there, so even
Speaker 1: if you just sweep it under the rug, that's it's
Speaker 1: going to come back if you don't really talk about
Speaker 1: that a little bit more. Yeah, that's kind of like
Speaker 1: where I met as how to move forward with us
Speaker 1: and whether it's worth it or not. Um, how long
Speaker 1: have you guys been together? Five years? So it's kind
Speaker 1: of gone to the point where like things are getting
Speaker 1: very serious and I've never been like a marriage person
Speaker 1: or kids person, and like we've talked about these things,
Speaker 1: but I've been more open about them. And then this
Speaker 1: comment came up and it like really was triggering for me,
Speaker 1: just like my past and everything. And so it's just, yeah,
Speaker 1: trying to trying to figure out what to do next.
Speaker 1: But I would agree that a deeper conversation and possibly
Speaker 1: therapy together would be guid Yeah, you should give it.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's five years is a long time to
Speaker 1: be with somebody, So give it the amount of attention
Speaker 1: it deserves and the respect it requires. And if there's
Speaker 1: not a change, then you know you have your answer
Speaker 1: and you're going to move on right right, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: thank you, all right? Well keep us supposed to a me. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I will thank you so much. Ye see this is
Speaker 1: serious ship ben yeh. Well, our next color is Alicia.
Speaker 1: Alicia says, I'm fifty three and I'm in perimenopause. I've
Speaker 1: begun reading some things about how women my age should
Speaker 1: focus on strength training and do less high intensity interval
Speaker 1: training or high impact cardio. When we talked on the phone,
Speaker 1: she said, just kind of always been a cardio person.
Speaker 1: If I can work out four days a week, what
Speaker 1: would you suggest as a training schedule, he asked. My
Speaker 1: current back to school routine is Monday, I do cardio strength,
Speaker 1: Wednesday triple met con all cardio but at different levels.
Speaker 1: Saturday cardio strength where I'm mix in some weights. Sunday
Speaker 1: strength all weights. Alicia. Hello, oh shitsky doodle, Hi Alicia, Hi, Alicia, Hi,
Speaker 1: I have been Bruno my trainer here a perfect time
Speaker 1: for your question. Yes, I was excited to see that
Speaker 1: you're looking for questions. I'm at the age where I'm
Speaker 1: starting to read and learn about menopause, and I really
Speaker 1: like to work out, and I've been reading and hearing
Speaker 1: about that women my age should be focusing more on
Speaker 1: strength training. And I grew up doing so much cardio
Speaker 1: all the time. So what do I need to be
Speaker 1: doing well? Question? You said that, but then when Catherine
Speaker 1: was reading your schedule, it sounded like you did three
Speaker 1: days of strength training in one day at cardio. Monday's
Speaker 1: and Saturday's are a mix of cardio and strength. Classify
Speaker 1: that as a whole strength class. Well, what I'll say
Speaker 1: I always recommend I tell women to think of strength
Speaker 1: training as the entree and cardio is the side dish,
Speaker 1: so they're both important. But if we had to allocate percentages,
Speaker 1: I would probably say two thirds to three quarters strength training,
Speaker 1: one third to one quarter cardio. But I don't think
Speaker 1: that you have to have a strength day only cardio
Speaker 1: day only. What will typically do is just incorporate a
Speaker 1: little bit of cardio at the end of the strength workouts. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just you know, some intervals and stuff. But I
Speaker 1: would say for you, three full body strength workouts a
Speaker 1: week is great, and then if you enjoy cardio on
Speaker 1: top of that, do it. And also I do agree,
Speaker 1: sounds like you answered your own question in the question,
Speaker 1: but you were talking about trying to not do as
Speaker 1: much high impact cardio. I do think that first off,
Speaker 1: strength training, if you do full body strength training is cardio.
Speaker 1: People that do body parts splits, not so much if
Speaker 1: you do like a chest day or whatever. But if
Speaker 1: you're pairing upper body and lower body exercises, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get a cardio effect from that too. But I think
Speaker 1: it's great to supplement the full body strength work with
Speaker 1: some low impact interval training. And then also it's just
Speaker 1: some low intensity training like going for a walk or
Speaker 1: a hike or things like that. But I think that's
Speaker 1: like a good long term strategy. And then also incorporating
Speaker 1: mobility work in there too. Yes, that's that's built into
Speaker 1: a couple of the classes my training. The best part
Speaker 1: of this whole COVID thing is I found this trainer.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a good trainer. Yeah, so it sounds like
Speaker 1: I'm kind of on the right road. Need to make
Speaker 1: sure I get the strength in on on the weekend
Speaker 1: because she does that on the days I go to work,
Speaker 1: So all right, I will keep at that. Cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't over you the cardio. Yeah, it's hard though, I know,
Speaker 1: I know it feels like it's good, but it's better
Speaker 1: to strength train. Yes, yeah, okay, okay. It's been so
Speaker 1: fun to talk with you. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: taking my question. Thank you, nice to meet you. Bye bye.
Speaker 1: All right, well, our next question comes from Kim. Kim
Speaker 1: is forty nine. Dear Chelsea, I'm really struggling with my fitness.
Speaker 1: I started putting on tons of weight about ten years ago.
Speaker 1: After a round of Whole thirty, I knew something was wrong,
Speaker 1: and after several doctors, I was diagnosed with celias and
Speaker 1: Hashimoto's thyroiditis. I went gluten free, obviously, and soy free,
Speaker 1: another allergy I discovered and started to feel so much better.
Speaker 1: Work relocated me to Florida. I'm a private teacher slash
Speaker 1: family assistant, and it was great for the health part
Speaker 1: because I would just ride my cruiser bike around the
Speaker 1: horse farms for ten to twenty miles a day, taking
Speaker 1: in the canal els in the sunsets. The weight seemed
Speaker 1: to fall off. I move a lot with this job,
Speaker 1: and my location and level of activity during work and
Speaker 1: time spent outside seems to vary, as has my weight.
Speaker 1: Now that you have my back story, I'd like to
Speaker 1: ask for your help in mindset. I've always been one
Speaker 1: to just do fun activities my whole life and not
Speaker 1: think of it as exercise. I just recently signed up
Speaker 1: for an adult tap class here in my current location,
Speaker 1: and I hiked at my last location. I'd love if
Speaker 1: you had tips to help me develop a traditional workout mindset,
Speaker 1: whether at home or going to the gym. Kim, oh, hey, Kim, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm well, how are you good? Thank you. Ben Bruno's
Speaker 1: our guest today, so it's perfect timing for your question. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. He's our in studio health expert today. So
Speaker 1: is your question more related to the fitness side or
Speaker 1: the diet side. Well, I have the diet side pretty
Speaker 1: well nailed. I know how I have to eat to
Speaker 1: feel good, and that's you know what I do. But
Speaker 1: I just have a hard time getting in the mindset
Speaker 1: of like going to the gym and doing typical workouts.
Speaker 1: I like to be active. I ride my bike, I hike.
Speaker 1: I just started TAP lessons. I know, if I'm moving
Speaker 1: with my I have hashes and ciliac. So if I
Speaker 1: move like three or four hours a day, I'm great.
Speaker 1: But sometimes it's really hard, and I just feel like
Speaker 1: I need to somehow incorporate going to a gym and
Speaker 1: not looking at it as a torture chamber. Can you
Speaker 1: do it with a friend? Will that help you? To
Speaker 1: enlist a friend that you like. Go to a class
Speaker 1: two days a week, if it's a bar method or
Speaker 1: soul cycle anything. I mean, I guess I have a few.
Speaker 1: I just relocated to Nashville, so I know a couple
Speaker 1: of people. Well that's a good way to make friends,
Speaker 1: probably to actually yeah, so, and I've already become friendly
Speaker 1: with people in my TAP class, so you know, hopefully
Speaker 1: that'll progress. I have a partner who loves to bike ride.
Speaker 1: He does that schimish emmy. Writing not my thing, but
Speaker 1: you know, we do write a lot, so I'm lucky
Speaker 1: to do that. But I just don't know why I
Speaker 1: have such a It's like I have a wedge to
Speaker 1: prevent me from going to the gym. You just have
Speaker 1: to find some classes that you like in that are
Speaker 1: in the gym. You know what I mean, and just
Speaker 1: sign up for like two a week and commit to that.
Speaker 1: That's a great way to aid work out and make friends.
Speaker 1: And they could be strength training classes, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So you know you're going and you're not
Speaker 1: responsible for your own regiment. It's being provided for you,
Speaker 1: right m h. I sort of feel Kim, like you
Speaker 1: have the best of both worlds, you know. I think
Speaker 1: that's what everybody wants to get to, is like just
Speaker 1: doing something fun and it's exercise. By the way, It's
Speaker 1: like that old saying, find a job you love and
Speaker 1: you'll never work a day in your life. But I
Speaker 1: feel like the same applies here, you'll never work out
Speaker 1: a day in your life. Like I feel like you
Speaker 1: got it great, Like Chelsea said, joining a couple of
Speaker 1: extra classes. Maybe that's a strength training class or something
Speaker 1: like that. But I think you've got a good mindset.
Speaker 1: Oh well, thank you. Do you have anything to add, Ben,
Speaker 1: I actually hate to say this, but I really like
Speaker 1: what Chelsea had to say. But I would also add
Speaker 1: that they have a lot of workout programs that you
Speaker 1: can get that you can do at home. So if
Speaker 1: you just have an aversion to the gym. There are
Speaker 1: a lot of home workout programs, and I know a
Speaker 1: lot of female trainers do stuff where the workout program
Speaker 1: includes an online fitness community element like Facebook, book groups
Speaker 1: and whatnot. So if you struggle with accountability, some of
Speaker 1: those might be good. You do it and then you
Speaker 1: report back to the trainer and the group. That's not
Speaker 1: totally my thing, so I'm not I can't think of
Speaker 1: any off the top of my head, but I know
Speaker 1: they exist. I would also I want to plug my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: She is Celiac. She has a whole thing. She's on
Speaker 1: Instagram and has a blog called yeah at No Bread,
Speaker 1: Um at No Bread, and it's like a website and
Speaker 1: an Instagram handle that has she is an amazing cook,
Speaker 1: but it's all glue and free stuff. Yeah, you should
Speaker 1: follow her. She's got great recipes and great brands to
Speaker 1: buy all of that stuff. Absolutely, I'm always looking for
Speaker 1: new things. Yeah, but I would look at some of
Speaker 1: the online The female trainers that do online programming do
Speaker 1: a really great job of doing stuff to build a community.
Speaker 1: If you just hate going to the gym, you can
Speaker 1: check in with people online and whatnot. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: even know. I guess I don't have an adversion going
Speaker 1: to the gym. I just I guess maybe just to
Speaker 1: get started and just not look at it as, oh,
Speaker 1: let me go rund my bike. It's all fun, and
Speaker 1: you know, I know when I do go, I feel good,
Speaker 1: I have results. I just don't know what the mind blocking.
Speaker 1: You just have to find a class you like and
Speaker 1: then you're gonna be down with going. That's it. Just
Speaker 1: find a class you like and go and do the
Speaker 1: social aspect of it too. And if you don't like
Speaker 1: going to the gym but you like the working out,
Speaker 1: then do what you know and then get one of
Speaker 1: those I mean, they're on peloton, they're on tonal. There's
Speaker 1: all these types of things you can do at home.
Speaker 1: But I hear what you're saying, but you just have
Speaker 1: to like dive in and find the thing that you
Speaker 1: like to do, and then you'll want to go to
Speaker 1: the gym. One more thing, I want to add a
Speaker 1: lot of people when they embark on strength training for
Speaker 1: the first time, feel like they have to do this
Speaker 1: whole crazy program and work out an hour at a time,
Speaker 1: and it's totally fine. I would maybe start with like
Speaker 1: fift twenty minute workouts, and just dip your toe in,
Speaker 1: and I think as you get a little better at it,
Speaker 1: you might like it more too. Okay, starting small amounts,
Speaker 1: maybe that's my problem. I just feel like I have to. Well,
Speaker 1: strength training is a thing that if you just come
Speaker 1: in guns and blazing and go too hard, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be sort of shipped. So I think, I sometimes think
Speaker 1: and that's very de motivating. So I think that if
Speaker 1: you start slowly and build progressively to kind of mitigate
Speaker 1: that soreness and get used to it, it will help
Speaker 1: you in the long term. Okay, great, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I will try both the online and just moving to
Speaker 1: the gym and making it a social thing. Cool. Thanks
Speaker 1: for calling in. Thank you bye. And on note, I
Speaker 1: think I'm done talking about nutrition. Well let's take a
Speaker 1: break so we can be done talking about that and
Speaker 1: we'll be right back with Chelsea and Ben Bruno and
Speaker 1: we're back. Excellent. Well, Bennett, that's point in the show.
Speaker 1: We like to ask our guests if they would like
Speaker 1: to ask Chelsea for some advice, be not really to
Speaker 1: be honest with you. I mean, that's that's why I
Speaker 1: go to therapy, so I don't have to ask people
Speaker 1: at Chelsea for advice. Accept that. I feel like if
Speaker 1: I asked Chelsea for advice, I would end up like
Speaker 1: face down in a ditch somewhere. Then why hasn't that
Speaker 1: already happened? Because I don't take what you say like,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't really interesting, I don't pay attention. Yeah, interesting, Well,
Speaker 1: I think that means that Ben Bruno doesn't have any
Speaker 1: questions for me, And you know what, I'm totally down
Speaker 1: with that. I need the day off of answering questions.
Speaker 1: What questions would I have for Chelsea? Well, why don't
Speaker 1: you think I have a question? I do it. I
Speaker 1: knew if you were me, how would you deal with
Speaker 1: the client? Like you? Because I've struggled with this for
Speaker 1: seven eight years, however long we've trained every single day.
Speaker 1: I think like I don't know what to do in
Speaker 1: this situation. I'm well, fire me if you if I
Speaker 1: make you so, But like probably of the time you're pleasant, right,
Speaker 1: So that's either this is the bed you made and
Speaker 1: now you either have to lie in it, not lay
Speaker 1: in it. You have to lie in it or fire me.
Speaker 1: It's I mean, the ball is in your court. No,
Speaker 1: I of the time, So you're not going to fire
Speaker 1: the juice is worth the squeeze. No, I'm not okay,
Speaker 1: So then there we go. Then what do you How
Speaker 1: would you deal with me? I don't know what to
Speaker 1: tell you. I wouldn't know how to deal with me either.
Speaker 1: That that actually makes me feel good to hear. That
Speaker 1: makes me. This is been big. This is a cathartic
Speaker 1: podcast for me. It's been such a release bed. Where
Speaker 1: can everybody find you? At the Kitchen. That's the name
Speaker 1: of his gym at his house. It's called the kitchen
Speaker 1: and his address is exactly don't say the address. Do
Speaker 1: you have an it's you of Instagram, Ben Ben Bruno training,
Speaker 1: Ben Bruno train er in one of training Bruno training
Speaker 1: to research this really not really, that's the wrap up.
Speaker 1: We're done, Catherine, We're done here. Good night. So if
Speaker 1: you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email
Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced by
Speaker 1: Nick Stump, produced by Katherine Law, and edited and engineered
Speaker 1: by Brad Dickert.