WEBVTT - Short Stuff: Modern Funerals 0:00:04.160 --> 0:00:06.600 Hey, you welcome to the short Stuff. I'm Josh, there's Chuck, 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:09.480 Jerry's floating around out there somewhere, and Dave c is 0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:11.880 here in spirit. So the gang is all ready to 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:17.160 go with short Stuff. Let's talk about funerals, baby, Let's 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:20.319 talk about you being dead. Let's talk about all the 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:23.279 good things and the bad things happened to your head 0:00:23.480 --> 0:00:29.000 after you die. Yeah. Man, we should just stop and 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:32.640 in this episode because it will be the best episode 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:35.519 in the history of the show. All right, Well that's 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:39.160 it for short Stuff. Everybody, Short Stuff is out. Oh wait, 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.720 we gotta stop for an head break. Oh yeah, that's right. 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:44.680 Uh yeah. So we're talking about funerals, and we've talked 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:47.400 a little bit about this stuff over the years in 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:49.680 our Death Suite, and I think we actually did one 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.080 on things to do with the dead body way back 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:54.360 in the day. Oh yeah, we've talked a lot about 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:58.040 this kind of stuff. But the notion that we're tackling 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:01.840 today is that since the nineteen sixties and up until 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:07.400 the nineteen sixties, Americans, uh and especially American Christian people 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:10.960 had one kind of funeral and that was largely dictated 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:15.240 um a k A. Shoved down our throats by the 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.640 funeral industry. If you wanted to fit in in America, 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:21.560 you had to to be presented upon your death in 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:24.480 a certain way. That meant being embalmed, put in a 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:29.520 suit or dress, whatever your preference was, um, and be 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.679 presented in a casket usually open for like your friends 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:34.800 and family to dress in black and come kind of 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:39.000 grieve over you. And it's very solemn, unhappy affair. What 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:40.840 was it When was the last time, not to get 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:42.440 too personal, but that you had to go to an 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:49.160 open cast it cast GT scene. I I don't remember, honestly. Um, 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:52.280 it's been a while for me. Yeah, I genuinely don't 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:55.400 remember because it is kind of like old school, you know, 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:57.720 but you know, it still happens every once in a a while. 0:01:57.720 --> 0:01:59.920 I don't remember, Chuck, But I mean I have been 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:01.680 ever since I was a little kid. My mom was like, 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.360 it's time for you to learn about death, and I 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.520 was like, I'm only two. She's like, yeah, it's a 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:09.240 little late. Frankly. Yeah, all I know is the last 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:12.200 few that I've been to, and in fact, most that 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:14.280 I've ever been to, which I haven't been that many. 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:16.960 I have always just been like, you know, like, do 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:18.079 you want to go up and take good by to 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.720 your grandmother? And I've always been like, no, I've done 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:23.400 that in my head in my heart, so I do 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.760 not need to go see that weird, powdery, waxy figure 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:29.360 that looks nothing like her in real life. Do you 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:33.519 want to go smell Grandma's hair one last time? God? Yeah, 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.720 I've never been into it, and we're both kind of 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.000 on record with that over our shows over the years. 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:41.639 But uh, this whole thing started to kind of change 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.520 with a book in nineteen sixty three that I kind 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:47.400 of want to read now from Jessica Mitford called The 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:52.000 American Way of Death, where she really kind of exposed, um, 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:56.639 the US funeral home industry is being not so great. Yeah, 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.800 Basically she she portrayed it as an entire industry built 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:06.279 around taking um advantage of people in a really predatory 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:11.919 way during a really um vulnerable moment, when they're grieving, 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:15.280 when they're at their weakest. These these skills come in 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.680 and start being like, well, of course you need this, 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:19.760 and the deceased would want that, and the platinum packt 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.639 ching cho ching cho ching, right, they got like the 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:26.320 the cash registered dollars signed cartoon wolf Eyes. Um. That's 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:28.639 basically how she portrayed and it was a really UM. 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:30.560 I think she wrote an article at first and it 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.919 got very little attention, and then it was turned into 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:34.800 a book. I think she went on TV and it 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:37.520 ended up becoming a book and really had a huge 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:41.880 effect on how people viewed funerals from that point on. Yeah, 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.240 and I guess maybe we should just caveat this now 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:45.720 and say, if we have listeners that work in the 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:49.680 funeral industry, we're not coming after you. Here. This was 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:51.880 a book that was written in the nineteen sixties, and 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:56.840 we realize it's a business for profit business, and up 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:00.520 selling is part of that business, and it takes on 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:03.880 a bit of a I guess, sort of an untoward 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:07.480 feeling when it's dealing with people while they're grieving. But 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.360 that's also the business you're in. So I'm not just 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:13.200 I'm not slamming you if you work for If I 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:15.360 have one across the street, they're very nice people. I 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:19.640 live across from a funeral home. That's lovely. But um, 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:23.520 having said that, stop it. No, things have changed a 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.080 lot over the years. In the nineteen sixties, the cremation 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:30.200 rate was three percent and which is astounding. And now 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.600 it's fifty one percent, and it's going to go up 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:36.400 to about fifty seven or fifty eight percent by two. 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:38.560 It seems like yeah, and that that was a big 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:41.479 effect that Mitford had with her book The American Way 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:44.240 of Death. It was like like, you just did not 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:47.200 get cremated before then, and then all of a sudden 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:49.920 and she by the way, she she had a very 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:53.880 cheap funeral, including being cremated. UM. I read that she 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:57.400 spent less than I think eight hundred dollars in today's 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:01.760 dollars um on her own funeral role um. But but 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:05.320 because of this, it kind of made it like okay 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:07.800 to not go through all this rigm roll and to 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.719 not even like preserve the body. And I was reading 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.480 about that preserving the body, like there's this idea that 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.080 um that had been around for a really long time. 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:18.440 Like I don't know if it was so that you 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:22.279 looked your best when when God teld told everybody's staying 0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:26.799 up in their graves and be judged or apparent Yeah, yeah, okay. 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:30.680 But apparently it was Abraham Lincoln that really kicked off 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:35.279 the American trend for embalming. UM. He had his son embalmed. 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:37.960 He was a big devotte of embalming. And then when 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.120 he was embalmed and he made a whistle stop tour 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:42.600 after death, that was like the first time a lot 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.359 of Americans ever saw an embalmed body, and like it 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:48.400 basically started this trend that lasted for a good century 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:51.440 or more. Yeah, so let's take a break and we'll 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:55.800 talk about kind of how this cultural shift fit in 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:57.800 with all the other cultural shifts that were happening in 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:04.800 the nineteen sixties right after this. Now I'm not large 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:26.520 sk alright, so nineteen sixties come along. This book is 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:31.720 written in the early sixties, the countercultural counterculture arrives, People 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:36.320 start doing drugs, start exploring different kinds of spirituality, uh, 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:39.960 including what they think about the afterlife, and sort of 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:44.239 one of the natural things that happened was funerals started 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:46.400 to change a little bit to compare, you know, to 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:49.120 kind of lean towards more what we think of them 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:52.760 uh today in today's terms. Yeah, that was a big 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:56.000 part of it. You know, this this idea of um, 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:59.400 you know, taking acid and thinking about being embalmed is 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:01.279 not they don't really go hand in hand, you know 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.479 what I'm saying it's a really easy way to decouple 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:06.839 yourself from the traditional ideas of funerals is to take LSD. 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:14.560 I only inject heroin into my body band exactly. So UM, 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:16.360 that was a big part of it. In addition to 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.880 Mitford's book, I think her book came at a really 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:22.120 like good time. I think it had an impact because 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:26.320 the general um awakening of people in the movement away 0:07:26.360 --> 0:07:28.920 from religion in a lot of ways, not necessarily away 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:32.120 from spirituality. But um, you know, there's this guy that's 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:35.400 interviewed in this house Stuff Works article who is the 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:39.160 UM I think, the dean of religious studies at Emory University. 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:41.200 So he's like, big Wood, you know what I'm saying, 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:46.040 Gary Lotterman, And he points out that, UM that if 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:49.960 you are talking about religion, like religions bread and butter, 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:54.360 it's basic business is death in the afterlife. So it 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:58.440 has all sorts of UM ideas and and um very 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:02.440 clear guidelines about how you're supposed to behave upon death 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.280 and how your body is supposed to be treated upon death, 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.880 and if you're religious, you follow those. But if as 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:12.160 a country America started to get less and less religious, 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:17.400 those kind of constrictions fell away too. Yeah, and you 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:20.520 know the idea that, um. The other thing a big 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:24.440 thing that's changed and changed things funeral wise, is it 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:27.600 used to be very vague in your will, Like funerals 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:29.920 were just kind of done one way, so when you die, 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:33.840 that was expected. And starting in the sixties and definitely 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:36.600 in the past couple of decades, people have gotten way 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.560 way more specific and they're what they want, like for 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:44.520 their own funeral arrangements, and it's leaned more toward and 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:48.640 they've even changed the nomenclature from funeral surface uh to 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:52.719 memorial service and then eventually the celebration of life, and 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:56.440 things have just gotten a lot less rigid, a little lighter, 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:59.760 and more celebratory. I don't wear black, I want you 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:04.719 to lay you know, uh, craft work, and I want 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:08.360 alcohol served. And I wanted to be outdoors and scatter 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:11.600 my ashes in my favorite dog park and then chuck. 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:14.640 So if you're if you're running a funeral home these days, 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:18.640 you're trying to keep up with this crazy changing wacko 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.760 time um for how funerals are carried out or sorry, 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:26.240 celebrations of life are carried out. Um, you you have 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:28.720 to kind of get more creative now than you you 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:32.360 did before. And I came across a blog post on 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:38.079 funeral one dot com or funeral alone dot com, depending 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.280 on how you want to say it, and it's I 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:46.199 think like twenty something creative ideas for a funeral, and 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.840 one of them, number ten, really sticks out to me. 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:52.080 They now they point out, as long as it wasn't 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:55.120 a tragic death, you can insert a bit of humor 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:59.920 by um passing out mad libs for people to creative 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.439 out the about the deceased. And I think it's smart 0:10:03.440 --> 0:10:05.320 of them to caveat that as long as it was 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:08.839 a tragic loss, because that definitely does kind of change 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:12.120 the tone of something even today, even in today's you know, 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:16.720 whacked out alcohol fueled celebrations of life, if it's a 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.080 tragedy that that led to the death, it's it's still 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:23.040 going to be pretty somber. This is typically for things like, um, 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:26.600 you know somebody who, um, I don't know where their 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:29.240 death wasn't wasn't a tragedy. I don't think there's really 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:33.480 any other way to put it or create create Number fourteen, 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:39.160 create a memorial hashtag. Okay, so they give an example 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:45.199 hashtag remembered Grandma Smith, but they've shortened Grandma to g 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:49.800 M A so it could also be remembered good Morning America. 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:53.640 I think it we settled on. I know you've changed 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:55.040 your mind since then, but you were going to be 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:58.280 shot out of a cannon or something. Yeah, And then 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.199 I was always into this guy Burial, and Emily was 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:04.240 just like, I'll make you into a tree, but I 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:06.480 don't want to want vultures eating you. For God's sakes, 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:10.199 Guy Burial is pretty hardcore man for sure. Um. Yeah, 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:14.840 I used to to really be into myself, so I 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:16.439 wanted to be shot out of a can, and now 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:19.120 I'm like, I think I just rather be cremated and 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:24.000 spread somewhere nice. Okay, So I've got one more for you. 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:30.120 What you got um Number seventeen Celebrate Life fun with bubbles. 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.360 So you know, basically, what they're saying is the funeral 0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:37.200 industry has gone into the wedding industry, wedding reception industry, 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:39.959 and said we could translate a lot of these to 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.319 these celebrations of life because they're both celebrations, and that's 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.040 kind of where we're at with funerals right now. That's right, 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:47.760 there's no wrong way to do it. If you are 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.040 still into an open casket and that traditional funeral service, 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:55.559 there certainly um businesses that can accommodate that. And we're 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:59.400 not gonna yuck anyone's yum even in death. No, we're not, 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:02.880 unless unless you fall for number eighteen, which is to 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:06.200 host icebreaker games, which it doesn't matter whether it's a 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:11.559 corporate function, a wedding or funeral. Icebreaker games are horrible. 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.720 Everybody across the board just don't do that. No one 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:18.000 wants you to go out like that. Well, since Chuck 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.439 said we'll judge you for that, that means that short 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:26.240 stuff is done and short stuff is out. Stuff you 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.920 should know is production of iHeart Radios How stuff Works. 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.640 For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit the iHeart 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:34.360 Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:35.080 favorite shows.