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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, works, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, right never, No no

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Speaker 1: buckle love and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you enough you

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Speaker 1: subject running in and out of my life. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I've been married for eight years and in the last

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Speaker 1: two years my husband has gotten very emotional, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's because he's got a girlfriend on the side.

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Speaker 1: We go through all of the usual marital issues like finances, communication,

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Speaker 1: and sex, and I try to make intimacy a priority.

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Speaker 1: But we have two children under age eight. Not only

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Speaker 1: are they time consuming, they're all over the house, so

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Speaker 1: it's tricky to have sex when a three year old

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Speaker 1: it's sneaking in the bedroom at night. He usually gets

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Speaker 1: jealous of our children when I put their needs over his,

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Speaker 1: so he gets upset a lot. He used to stay

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Speaker 1: in the basement when he was mad at me, but

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Speaker 1: now he leaves out of the house. I have no

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Speaker 1: idea where he's staying when he leaves, but he comes

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Speaker 1: back in a great mood. He's done this four times

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Speaker 1: in the last two months. Christmas Eve, he picked a

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Speaker 1: fight with me so he could leave. He got home

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Speaker 1: at five a m. Just in time to get the

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Speaker 1: gifts ready for our children. His mood had changed and

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Speaker 1: he was lovey dovey with me. I can't pretend that

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Speaker 1: everything is fine whenever he comes back from wherever he's been.

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Speaker 1: He said it's better if he leaves then to argue

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Speaker 1: with me in front of the children. I told him

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Speaker 1: it is best if we handle disagreements as adults without

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Speaker 1: him getting emotional. I told him he can't keep running

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Speaker 1: in and out of my life, our house, and our dead.

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Speaker 1: We've been going back and forth on this subject, and

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Speaker 1: he says I'm paranoid because I'm not holding up my

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Speaker 1: end of the marriage. I have children, a full time job,

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to lose weight, so I'm hungry and cranky.

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Speaker 1: I am not a sex machine. And if he needs

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Speaker 1: sex that badly, he can go get it elsewhere. But

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Speaker 1: he needs to stay here. I mean, stay there. Can

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Speaker 1: we work through this or is it time to go? Well,

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Speaker 1: if you have to ask a question like that, and

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Speaker 1: if you have to say, he can go get it elsewhere,

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Speaker 1: but he needs to stay there. You know that's a

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Speaker 1: sign your marriage is in trouble. I mean, first of all,

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Speaker 1: your husband doesn't sound like he helps you with the

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Speaker 1: kids at all. And why is all of this on you?

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Speaker 1: Why do you have to you know, do everything, because

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Speaker 1: that's what it sounds like in the letter. And why

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Speaker 1: is he jealous of his own children? Why stop making

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Speaker 1: excuses for him. There's no way he should be leaving

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Speaker 1: the house and coming in at five in the morning.

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Speaker 1: I don't care what kind of argument you guys had. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he must have a girlfriend of something out there coming

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Speaker 1: back in the house all shipper and stuff like. You know,

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Speaker 1: he's been taken care of, someone took care of him.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how you're even allowing that. I know

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Speaker 1: you have a job, and you have children and all

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Speaker 1: of that, but you do need to concentrate more on

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Speaker 1: your marriage. I mean, and you're right, he can't keep

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Speaker 1: running in and out of your life, in your house

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Speaker 1: and your bed. Married men know they have curfews, whether

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Speaker 1: you call it a curfew or not. They know they

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Speaker 1: should be in the house at a respectable hour, and

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Speaker 1: that does not mean at five in the morning. They

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Speaker 1: know better. I'm not gonna say this marriage is done completely,

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Speaker 1: but like I said earlier, it is in some serious trouble.

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Speaker 1: I don't see the support you need as a mom

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Speaker 1: from your husband, who is the father of these babies.

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Speaker 1: He's just thinking about himself at this point, so you

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Speaker 1: need to think about you. But yes, your marriage is

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Speaker 1: in trouble. Steve. You know surely I agree with everything

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Speaker 1: you said in this letter right here if I did

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Speaker 1: not say that up top, but I found your letter

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Speaker 1: response to be quite adequate. Oh just struggling here with

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Speaker 1: the whole letter. It's some rules to marry, and if

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Speaker 1: you don't follow the rule, it's gonna be a problem.

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Speaker 1: But see now, you saved all the way to the

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Speaker 1: end of the letter to address what you think is wrong.

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Speaker 1: But let's let me just walk you through this thing.

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Speaker 1: You've been married eight years and the last two years

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Speaker 1: your husband has gotten very emotional. Now when you said that,

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Speaker 1: I thought like he'd be crying and whining. I want

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Speaker 1: some egg podcast talking about man. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: spoils on TV and Stephen A. Smith and not all

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Speaker 1: that the day. So I didn't, I don't. I didn't

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Speaker 1: get that. But you say you think it's because he's

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Speaker 1: got a girlfriend on the side. You know, everybody go

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Speaker 1: through marital issues. You're right, finances, communications, sex. I try

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Speaker 1: to make intimacy of proudy. But we got two children

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Speaker 1: under the age. Not only are they time consuming, they

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Speaker 1: are all over the house. Yeah, they all you gotta

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Speaker 1: you gotta set some bounds though, but it is because

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Speaker 1: kids are tricky. I don't know what side how she got.

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Speaker 1: So let me just leave that alone, because it's just tricky.

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Speaker 1: They you know, you're the two bed room, three bed

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Speaker 1: room here there is again, Well you know where else

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Speaker 1: they going? You know they keep you. Quit walking by him. Hell,

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Speaker 1: it's on the way everywhere, you know. So you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell to tell you. Your

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Speaker 1: mind is so crazy. Quit talking by hill, Quit walking

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Speaker 1: by him. Walk. If I don't walk by here, how's

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Speaker 1: I'm going somewhere? Go to your room? Can't gotta go

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Speaker 1: ahead and walk by you? And just didn't you know

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Speaker 1: that I'm gonna have to cross if you want me

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Speaker 1: to go to my room. I'm going after cross that

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Speaker 1: ass whipping for that because let me know, because I

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Speaker 1: just stay here, or do you want me to go

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Speaker 1: outside and walk around the side of the house because

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Speaker 1: this all these dumb ass rules by quit walking by him, mamma.

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Speaker 1: We need a big a house now, we need a

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Speaker 1: we need a cat walk in this house somewhere. Walking

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Speaker 1: cross overhead, he is, we'll have part two of Steve's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I don't heard that as a quick quit walking by him. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'll be there. You do notice the two bad room mamma,

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Speaker 1: as I was saying to Steve's response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry letters subject

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Speaker 1: running in and out of my life. We'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening to Steven show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, come on, let's uh, let's recap today

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Speaker 1: strawberry letter, the subject running in and out of my life.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was just trying to find some joy

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Speaker 1: in this letter because what I'm gonna have to tell

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Speaker 1: this lady is not gonna be fun. He's very emotional husband,

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Speaker 1: been married eight years. The last two years he's been

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Speaker 1: very emotional. I was thinking I was a lot of

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Speaker 1: crying and sniffling wine and you know, just about little

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Speaker 1: petty stuff. But you think it's because he got a

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Speaker 1: girlfriend on the side. Y'all got regular issues finance, communication, sex,

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Speaker 1: and you try to make intimacy of priority. But you

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Speaker 1: got these two kids under eight. Not only are they

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Speaker 1: time consuming, but they all over the house. Now that's

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Speaker 1: a tough statement. That's the statement we left owner. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna not gonna hop on that. But you know, quick

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Speaker 1: blaming the kids for being all over the house. The

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Speaker 1: house ain't. But you got a two bed room and

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Speaker 1: they just you know, if they ain't all over the

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Speaker 1: house where you want them to be, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. You know, if you're gonna, you know, relegate

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Speaker 1: them to their room or something. Anyways, not getting into that.

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Speaker 1: And so it's actually tricky to have sex with a

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Speaker 1: three year old. Is sneaking in the bedroom at night,

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Speaker 1: Well that you can stop that one good snatching. We'll

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Speaker 1: prevent the coming in the three am in the morning,

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Speaker 1: because you know that's a hard ass whim to take

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Speaker 1: in the middle of the night. So we can stop

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Speaker 1: the sneaking in the bedroom at night. You need a

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Speaker 1: lock on your door too, now you're talking about you

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Speaker 1: don't want to lock the children now, well, then let

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Speaker 1: them free run. Let him one run wild over that

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Speaker 1: two bed room. Then let him just go ahead and

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Speaker 1: run them up. You know they ain't even running down

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Speaker 1: the hallway. They and your house ain't get run across

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Speaker 1: the hall to the other dough so you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't know anyway. He actually just gets jealous our children

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Speaker 1: when I put that kneeds over here, so he gets

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Speaker 1: upset a lot. He used to stay in the basement

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Speaker 1: when he was mad at me, but now he leaves

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Speaker 1: out the house. I have no idea when he's staying.

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Speaker 1: When he leaves, but he comes back in a great mood.

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Speaker 1: He didn't done this. Four times in the last two months,

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Speaker 1: Christmas Evie picked a fight with me. So Christmas Evie

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Speaker 1: picked a fight with me so he could leave. He

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Speaker 1: got home at five am, just in time to get

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Speaker 1: the gifts ready for the kids. You can do that,

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Speaker 1: not Wow, his mood had changed and he was very

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Speaker 1: lovely devy with me. I can't pretend that everything is

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Speaker 1: fine when he comes back wherever he's been. He says

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Speaker 1: he's better if he leaves than to argue with me

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Speaker 1: In front the children. I told him, and this is

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Speaker 1: what you did. Say that was right. I told him

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Speaker 1: his best We handled disagreements as adult without him getting emotional.

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Speaker 1: I told him he can't keep running in and out

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Speaker 1: of my life. You can't keep out of my life,

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Speaker 1: you know, I like, have you lie? Lie? He gets

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Speaker 1: so distracted back to the letter. Stop listening around. Hey, hey,

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Speaker 1: we needed that destruction because this letter ain't working for

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Speaker 1: damn anyway. And anyway, he can't keep running in our

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Speaker 1: house and our bed. We've been going back and forth

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Speaker 1: on this subject, and he says, I'm paranoid because I'm

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Speaker 1: not holding up my end of the marriage. Now here

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Speaker 1: we go, Shirley said, why is he not involved in

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Speaker 1: raising these kids as he should be. He should have

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Speaker 1: more periental duties instead of dumping all this on you

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Speaker 1: and send to be telling like you ain't holding up

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Speaker 1: your end of the bargain. Here's what the latter came

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Speaker 1: down to. I have children, a full time job, and

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to lose weight, so I'm hungry, ain't cranky.

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Speaker 1: That is what this letter that came down to. I'll

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Speaker 1: be damned, I am trying to lose this weight, so

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Speaker 1: I am hungry and cranky. Now, it took a long

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Speaker 1: time to get to that letter to find out what

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Speaker 1: was wrong. That's just one of the symbols that And

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Speaker 1: then he got the nerve to tell you you ain't

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Speaker 1: holding up your way into the ball. Right. That's babyweight

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Speaker 1: you got on you, ma'am. That's all that is. That's

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Speaker 1: baby wit. And you had these two kids close together,

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Speaker 1: and it just ain't what it was. And you know,

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Speaker 1: we gotta really understand that, fellas, because we don't have children. Now,

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Speaker 1: you know, as some women that have baby weight on him,

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Speaker 1: the baby eighteen, we can't keep claiming that as baby

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Speaker 1: weights that gonna keeping. No, you're not gonna keep doing that.

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Speaker 1: It's what you're not gonna do. So I can't get

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Speaker 1: on her about the weight loss or nothing like that.

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Speaker 1: All I can tell you do is get your energy

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Speaker 1: up so you can chase them. He is around the

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Speaker 1: house by using elevate. You go to elevate you dot

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Speaker 1: com because it's a shameless plug right here. Get you

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Speaker 1: some So yeah, I don't even like the damn nudder.

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Speaker 1: So you and you need energy to go keep unlocking

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Speaker 1: that door in the middle of the night when he

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Speaker 1: come back in anyway. Uh, I'm not a sex machine.

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Speaker 1: And if he needs sex that badly, he can go

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Speaker 1: get it elsewhere. And that's exactly what he's done. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for coming to that conclusion, because that's what he's doing.

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Speaker 1: He's going somewhere else, becoming very jolly and coming back

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Speaker 1: home on Christmas Eves. Ho ho ho ho ho happen

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Speaker 1: here we go up hey, credit up live, damn ever

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Speaker 1: here cold. You can't keep running in and out of

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Speaker 1: my life, man, No, you can't. Oh man Arter Tarlt.

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Speaker 1: What's up all right? Poster comments on Today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook. Check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand, coming up at forty

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Speaker 1: six minutes after Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show