WEBVTT - Keeping Y'all Updated

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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<v Speaker 1>and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back

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<v Speaker 1>with yet another and the last episode of the season. Guys, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>I've just been renewed for season three, so I ain't

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<v Speaker 1>going nowhere. Carefully Reckless season three, we'll be back. Just

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<v Speaker 1>fix my mess. I'm gonna be fixing y'all mess to

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<v Speaker 1>the end of time. Maybe I'll don't know. I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>but I know I've just been renewed, So let's clap

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<v Speaker 1>it up for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And

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<v Speaker 1>I won't be taking no breaks. I'm gonna go straight

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<v Speaker 1>into it, so y'all gonna hear me not only today,

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<v Speaker 1>but next week as well. Between season one and season two,

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<v Speaker 1>I did take a break because I was just trying

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<v Speaker 1>to figure out where I wanted to go with the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>And now that I found my niche and that's helping y'all,

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<v Speaker 1>I think I want to keep on going. Just want

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<v Speaker 1>to keep on going, and so the wheels fall off.

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<v Speaker 1>I think y'all so much for rocking with me every

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<v Speaker 1>Wednesday and for sending me your stories and then just

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<v Speaker 1>being so vulnerable and open and willing to expose your business,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, and trusting me with it. A lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people who don't know Jessica Moore are scared or intimidated

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<v Speaker 1>to let Jess Hilarious know anything because they're so used

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<v Speaker 1>to Jess with the mess. They ain't even looking at

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<v Speaker 1>me like jess can fix my mess. You know, I've

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<v Speaker 1>been through a lot, and I know a little about

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of things. I don't know everything, but I

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<v Speaker 1>know a little about a lot of things. I always

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<v Speaker 1>say that. So we're gonna jump straight and we do

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<v Speaker 1>not have voice memos because I guess y'all don't I

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<v Speaker 1>guess these niggas and started catching one of y'all voices

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<v Speaker 1>and shit, so y'all like, nah, bitch, I can't. So

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna just write this long as fucking essay and

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna have to read it, and I am I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna read it. This is an update that we had

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<v Speaker 1>from the show that aired December seventh, twenty twenty two,

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<v Speaker 1>So listen. I took your advice, and come to find out,

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<v Speaker 1>it was just a misunderstanding. My middle sister really does

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<v Speaker 1>just want the best for me, and she is afraid

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm not grieving properly. Truth be told, I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>really grieving at all. I just avoid thinking about my

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<v Speaker 1>parents being dead by staying busy. The dynamic of my

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<v Speaker 1>sisters and I is this. My middle sister and I

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<v Speaker 1>share the same parents. My baby sister has a different

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<v Speaker 1>father who has never been involved in her life for

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<v Speaker 1>more than two weeks at a time. So with that

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<v Speaker 1>being said, I need you to help fix my mess again. Ironically,

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<v Speaker 1>my baby sister and I are not speaking right now

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<v Speaker 1>this time. I'm on the verge of keeping it that

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<v Speaker 1>way for good. Let me tell you why she used

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<v Speaker 1>my mom for everything she had and stressed my mom

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<v Speaker 1>out with all of her lies and deception. She would

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<v Speaker 1>make up lies that her kids are going to get

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<v Speaker 1>taken away from her if she didn't get money for

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<v Speaker 1>a lawyer by five pm the same day. She lied

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<v Speaker 1>and lied and said that she had staged four cancer

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<v Speaker 1>and all kinds of shit. None of it was true.

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<v Speaker 1>My mom was retired and could hardly work all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>Would give her the little bit of money that she

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<v Speaker 1>had left to help her? Line? Ask? My mom and

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<v Speaker 1>I got into an argument a few years before she

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<v Speaker 1>passed away because she tried to force me to give

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<v Speaker 1>my hard earned money to my baby sister. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>give her a red penny. Tom passed by and I

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<v Speaker 1>started talking to my mom again. My mom begged me

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<v Speaker 1>to put my baby sister on my phone account, and

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<v Speaker 1>I fought her so hard. I didn't want to do it,

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<v Speaker 1>but I tried to be the big sister since my

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<v Speaker 1>mom asked me to do it. After about a year

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<v Speaker 1>and a half, I had constantly remind her to send

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<v Speaker 1>her portion of the bill. It has gotten so bad

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<v Speaker 1>now that I've had to make threats about cutting her

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<v Speaker 1>lines off lines or line. She has had a watch

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<v Speaker 1>and an I phone. Okay, lines, you're right, Let me

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<v Speaker 1>mind my business. In December, she tried to make it

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<v Speaker 1>seem like I was getting on her nerves because I

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<v Speaker 1>was asking for her part of the bill that she

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<v Speaker 1>ran up. She tried to guilt trip me by saying

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<v Speaker 1>she was going to take her kids Christmas gifts back

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<v Speaker 1>to the store. I absolutely did not let her do

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<v Speaker 1>that to me. This month, she has ignoring me about

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<v Speaker 1>the bill and it has pissed me off so much,

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<v Speaker 1>stressed me out. At the same time, I can't do

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<v Speaker 1>this anymore. If I cut her and the phone build off.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm certain we will never talk again. Plus I'd be

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<v Speaker 1>held responsible for the early termination fee. Her stuff will

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<v Speaker 1>be paid off in a few months. It makes me

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<v Speaker 1>very sad that this is even an issue between us.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought when our mom died in April, the three

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<v Speaker 1>of us would be tighter than ever. Please help me, Jess,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't take this anymore. Much love for all you do,

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<v Speaker 1>All right, baby girl, Let's first start off with thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for the update. Now, for those who don't remember

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<v Speaker 1>her story, their mother died. This is one of I

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<v Speaker 1>think three sisters. Three girls. This is one of three girls,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's the oldest, and their mother died. They all

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<v Speaker 1>don't have the same father, but they have the same mother.

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<v Speaker 1>And when she died, one of her sisters was looking

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<v Speaker 1>at her like she was crazy because she wasn't crying,

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<v Speaker 1>or she didn't feel emotional. She didn't show like any grieve,

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<v Speaker 1>any grievance for her sister. You know, well in her

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<v Speaker 1>sister's opinion, and she's just so hard up. But I

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<v Speaker 1>was the advice that I gave her was everybody doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>grieve the same. Everybody that is not gonna cry. Everybody

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<v Speaker 1>have different they have different ways of coping with death,

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<v Speaker 1>and in grieving, her grieving is burying herself or work.

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<v Speaker 1>She's burying herself because maybe she can't cry, maybe it's

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<v Speaker 1>so hard for her, she doesn't know how to unlock

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<v Speaker 1>those emotions where she's gonna be a ball of tears.

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<v Speaker 1>She cries in a different way, you know, she grieves

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<v Speaker 1>in a different way. But you did say I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>grieving at all. You still can't even say that. There's

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<v Speaker 1>no proper way to grieve. You grieve how it comes out.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people get angry, some people are sad. Some people

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<v Speaker 1>laugh uncontrollably because they just can't cry. It's a nervous thing.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's a you know. And then some people fight,

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<v Speaker 1>some people get on drugs. So it's different, diferent ways

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<v Speaker 1>of grieving and coping. You have another problem now, your sister,

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<v Speaker 1>your little sister. Now, she does not share the same father,

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<v Speaker 1>all right. And your mother seemed to have been an

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<v Speaker 1>angel to never give up on your little sister, to

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<v Speaker 1>help all the time and also even encourage you to

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<v Speaker 1>help her when she needs it in areas that she lacks.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you ever thought that maybe your little sister is

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like her father. Y'all didn't have the same dad.

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<v Speaker 1>You ever thought that? Has she ever gotten the attention

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<v Speaker 1>from her father's side of the family. Maybe she feels

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<v Speaker 1>like the black sheet because the rest of y'all got

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<v Speaker 1>the same dad and she doesn't. You know, you ever

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<v Speaker 1>thought about that. You told me her father wasn't in

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<v Speaker 1>her life for more than two weeks at a time.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe she's angry. Maybe she was looking for all that attention.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe y'all got more attention than her growing up, and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe that's why she does things like, oh, I got

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<v Speaker 1>staged four cancer and she's lying. She's seeking attention. She

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<v Speaker 1>wants attention. Oh I need the money by this that

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Maybe that that's also attention. She knows nobody

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<v Speaker 1>is gonna Sita sit back and let her children be

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<v Speaker 1>taken away about five o'clock. Maybe that's attention. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>And maybe she's she would and bought drugs with the money.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe she would. You didn't go into detail. But maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it's not even about using y'all. Maybe this is her

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<v Speaker 1>only way of getting attention, you know, and your mother

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<v Speaker 1>gave her attention all the time. She never had any

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<v Speaker 1>bad blood with your mother. You had bad blood with her.

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<v Speaker 1>Then you ended up having bad blood with your mother

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<v Speaker 1>for caring so much. Now listen, I'm not telling you

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<v Speaker 1>let somebody walk all over you. I'm not telling you

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<v Speaker 1>let somebody use you. I'm not telling you that you

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<v Speaker 1>are absolutely wrong for how you feel. You're still grieving

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<v Speaker 1>the death of your mother, whether you know it or not,

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<v Speaker 1>whether you I don't care how much work you bury

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<v Speaker 1>yourself in. And like you said, you thought that this

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<v Speaker 1>will bring y'all together once mom died. But your sister

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<v Speaker 1>had trauma before your mom died. She had trauma way

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<v Speaker 1>before y'all mom passed, and you don't think she's feeling that. Also,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a lot on her because she already don't have

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<v Speaker 1>a damn daddy, you know what I'm saying, Or don't

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<v Speaker 1>have the best relationship with her dad. Now she ain't

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<v Speaker 1>got a mom, and she got a sister that fucking

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<v Speaker 1>hates her. And I'm just speaking from her point of view.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying you do hate her, but you said

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<v Speaker 1>it's like you can't stand her, you know what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want you to sit and talk to her. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>she ain't talking to you. She's a little sister. I

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<v Speaker 1>know you feel like you tired of being a big sister,

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<v Speaker 1>and sometimes it's like, bitch, take responsibility, take accountability for

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<v Speaker 1>what the fuck you got going on. I know you

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<v Speaker 1>want to tell her all this shit, and you can

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<v Speaker 1>call a meeting. Don't get a phone cut off, call

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<v Speaker 1>a goddamn meeting and talk to her. Go talk to

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<v Speaker 1>your sister, call her phone and then like you can't

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<v Speaker 1>get us such what a shit? You pay up, You

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<v Speaker 1>pay a fucking bill. Go ahead, go meet with her.

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<v Speaker 1>You need to just be one honest with a lay

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<v Speaker 1>it out in the line. But I need for you

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<v Speaker 1>to have at least some type of understanding of what

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<v Speaker 1>she's going through. Like I said, y'all lost y'all mom

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<v Speaker 1>back in April. But before y'all lost mom, she was

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<v Speaker 1>already going through shit because she didn't have a dad

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<v Speaker 1>like the rest of y'all. And whoever her dad was,

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<v Speaker 1>what never fucking there, didn't give a fuck about her.

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<v Speaker 1>And she has given birth to children. She wasn't raised

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<v Speaker 1>the right way. I'm guessing that she used to live

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<v Speaker 1>with her dad. I'm trying to figure it out because

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<v Speaker 1>as loving as your mom was, wouldn't she have lived

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<v Speaker 1>with y'all. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not trying to rehash, so you know, open that can

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<v Speaker 1>of worms, you know, with speaking on your mom or

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<v Speaker 1>speaking about even bringing your mother up too much. But

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<v Speaker 1>I just want you to come to an understanding with

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<v Speaker 1>your sister. You know, even if you make her work

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<v Speaker 1>how to find a job something, you have to want

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<v Speaker 1>to help more than you want to dismiss her reject her.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. I know that sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>nothing that you want to hear right now, but talk

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<v Speaker 1>to her. Talk to her. Let me know how it

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<v Speaker 1>turns out. Don't be so mean, because I feel it

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<v Speaker 1>in your message as you sent me. You can be

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<v Speaker 1>a little mean sometimes and I know she can too,

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<v Speaker 1>But just talk to her, communicate. Communication will do wonders

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<v Speaker 1>for you. I promise you'd be so surprised what a

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<v Speaker 1>conversation can do. Check back in with me. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and

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<v Speaker 1>then we'll be right back. Okay, this is also an update.

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<v Speaker 1>Moving on. I think y'all gonna figure it out when

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<v Speaker 1>I read it. I think this is one of the

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<v Speaker 1>crazy girls. And shit, now I'm gonna call you crazy

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<v Speaker 1>because you're crazy shit staying with that, nigga, Let me

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<v Speaker 1>see if this is the one. First, thanks Jess for

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<v Speaker 1>reading my story. I was chilling on the couch, scrolling

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<v Speaker 1>on Facebook and catching up on your podcasts. As soon

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<v Speaker 1>as I heard you reading my story, I sat up

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<v Speaker 1>and tears came to my eyes. Maybe it's because before

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<v Speaker 1>I even heard your response, I knew it would be

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<v Speaker 1>to leave him alone. Yep, there you go. It hits

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<v Speaker 1>home when you hear your boy said back to you

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<v Speaker 1>out loud. Update is we expressed we had feelings for

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<v Speaker 1>each other, sending long paragraphs back and forth for days.

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<v Speaker 1>But then he told me the only reason he's still

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<v Speaker 1>kind of with her is because she told him if

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<v Speaker 1>he with anybody else or have other kids, she would

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<v Speaker 1>have moved States to go be with family and he

0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:23.120
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't see his son. I love him so much that

0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:25.079
<v Speaker 1>I told him I would never come in between him

0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:27.960
<v Speaker 1>and his child, so I would back off. He claims

0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:30.600
<v Speaker 1>he only got her pregnant because he wanted somebody in

0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.800
<v Speaker 1>parentheses his son and his life that would love him

0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:36.920
<v Speaker 1>and never leave him like everybody else did. He always

0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:39.640
<v Speaker 1>hit me up and when I ignore him. He gets mad,

0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:42.960
<v Speaker 1>saying I'm acting different because I have a boyfriend, when

0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.560
<v Speaker 1>in reality, it's because I'm hurt. I don't even have

0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:48.640
<v Speaker 1>a boyfriend. I'm hurt because I feel like I ruined

0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:52.120
<v Speaker 1>us by breaking up with him and ignored him every

0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:55.040
<v Speaker 1>time he tried to get back together. My problem is

0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.320
<v Speaker 1>I was curious to see if he really was the

0:11:57.360 --> 0:11:59.679
<v Speaker 1>love of my life or is that person still really

0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.360
<v Speaker 1>out there. I blamed it on us being young, but

0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:04.360
<v Speaker 1>now I'm out here being an adult, and I don't

0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:06.920
<v Speaker 1>like this dating pool. I just keep thinking that if

0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.480
<v Speaker 1>my grandmother didn't die, then he wouldn't be back in

0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:13.319
<v Speaker 1>my life. I was doing good not talking to him

0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.559
<v Speaker 1>since we broke up, but when she died, it's when

0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:18.760
<v Speaker 1>I finally responded to his texts. To answer your question,

0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:21.480
<v Speaker 1>she knows about me, and she knows who I am.

0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.240
<v Speaker 1>They met because she was his sister's friend, so of

0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:27.480
<v Speaker 1>course she already knew some of his family before they

0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.360
<v Speaker 1>even met. I'm not sure if she knows we're messing

0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.280
<v Speaker 1>around again, but I think she knows we're in contact

0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:36.080
<v Speaker 1>because she kept deleting me off of his Facebook, and

0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.880
<v Speaker 1>he kept readding me whenever he's going through shit and

0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:42.120
<v Speaker 1>he always texts me or come to me to vent.

0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.040
<v Speaker 1>Maybe you're right about saying he's my soul meet, but

0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:48.040
<v Speaker 1>as a friend, I guess it might be time to

0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:52.240
<v Speaker 1>actually let go. I'm actually crying typing this. All your

0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:55.320
<v Speaker 1>advice hits differently when it's coming from somebody who isn't

0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:58.680
<v Speaker 1>biased or choosing size because of the history with that person.

0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.000
<v Speaker 1>Thanks again, Jess, Love you girl. I love you too, girl.

0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:04.600
<v Speaker 1>I love you too. I mean I mean that, I

0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.040
<v Speaker 1>mean that, hold up, hold up. I know the ship

0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:09.400
<v Speaker 1>getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of

0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:14.080
<v Speaker 1>a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen, so you

0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.360
<v Speaker 1>know I'm gonna give it to you hard. I don't care.

0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:20.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't care because if I sugarcoat it for you,

0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:22.720
<v Speaker 1>You're only gonna keep on going back. You're gonna find

0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:26.880
<v Speaker 1>different ways to discredit yourself and give him all the

0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:30.360
<v Speaker 1>credit like you're still doing. Do you realize that you

0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:33.679
<v Speaker 1>just said that you ruined your relationship for breaking up

0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:38.400
<v Speaker 1>with him, Girl, it happens, y'all. Break up. You didn't

0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.920
<v Speaker 1>ruin y'all. Maybe that was in the cards for y'all.

0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:46.199
<v Speaker 1>Like I told you, nobody is ever going to not

0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:48.720
<v Speaker 1>be with you if they really want to. It can't

0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.760
<v Speaker 1>be unless they physically can't be with a person unless

0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:56.680
<v Speaker 1>you in jail, unless you are dad. You listen, people

0:13:57.480 --> 0:14:01.040
<v Speaker 1>end up being with who they want to be with. Okay,

0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't care how many threats to that girl and

0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.120
<v Speaker 1>told him that baby Mama then put out there on him.

0:14:06.400 --> 0:14:08.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh if if you go be back with her or

0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:12.000
<v Speaker 1>anybody else, I'm gonna move states away to your kid. Listen,

0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:14.480
<v Speaker 1>he's entitled to his kids just like she isn't. If

0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.960
<v Speaker 1>ain't nobody got no custody, then he's just as much

0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.320
<v Speaker 1>entitled to those kids as she is. She can move

0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:24.720
<v Speaker 1>to fucking Antarctica and he can fight for joint custody. Listen,

0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:28.240
<v Speaker 1>if your heart belongs to someone, you're going to follow

0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.800
<v Speaker 1>that person. You're going to end up being with that person.

0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 1>You can just keep him as a friend. You say

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 1>you still sound hurt, though you still sound very, very hurt.

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:40.440
<v Speaker 1>So that's why I say you just need to leave

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:44.520
<v Speaker 1>him alone all together, because you still sound way too

0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:47.320
<v Speaker 1>fucking hurt to just be his friend. He hit you

0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.720
<v Speaker 1>up when he argued, that's what all these niggas doing.

0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:52.080
<v Speaker 1>He hits you up when he going through something he

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.520
<v Speaker 1>wants to vent. Oh, the only reason why. First of all,

0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:56.840
<v Speaker 1>I hate if a man start a sentence like the

0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:59.120
<v Speaker 1>only reason why I married her, or the only reason

0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:00.920
<v Speaker 1>why I had a baby were here, the only reason

0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 1>why I'm still fucking up. I don't want to hear that.

0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.160
<v Speaker 1>It's because you want to, motherfucker. It's because you want

0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 1>to and don't matter. That's who you wit, that's who

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.560
<v Speaker 1>you love. Ain't ain't no threat by a woman in

0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.520
<v Speaker 1>the world gonna make a man stay where he don't

0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.120
<v Speaker 1>want to be. So you need to notice that. You

0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 1>need to realize that. And you are still holding yourself

0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.560
<v Speaker 1>back from ship because you still stuck with this man.

0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.360
<v Speaker 1>You still stuck on this man with his own family,

0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:28.960
<v Speaker 1>he had nothing to give you. What could he do

0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:30.840
<v Speaker 1>for you right now? What could he do for you

0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:32.760
<v Speaker 1>right now that will really really make you happy? He

0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:36.680
<v Speaker 1>already got a baby with this girl that he willingly

0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.560
<v Speaker 1>made a baby with. I'm gonna keep putting that in

0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.720
<v Speaker 1>your brain. Ain't no because she did this, so he

0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:45.000
<v Speaker 1>stuck his dick in a raw, came in, and he

0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:48.040
<v Speaker 1>knew the outcome, and then nine months later, won't baba

0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:50.800
<v Speaker 1>boom blah blah whah bam boom, here go, that's it

0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:53.480
<v Speaker 1>all right? What can he do for you right now?

0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:56.320
<v Speaker 1>Leave the family and then come with you? Not see

0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:58.000
<v Speaker 1>his son? Boom? What's that gonna do? That's gonna make

0:15:58.040 --> 0:15:59.280
<v Speaker 1>him say it? So? Then you still ain't gonna be

0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 1>happy because it's because he ain't gonna be happy with

0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:05.160
<v Speaker 1>you because now he's missing a part of him, his child.

0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:07.160
<v Speaker 1>All right. Even if you take the baby from the

0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.680
<v Speaker 1>girl and he come be with you, now, what is

0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 1>that Is that gonna be happy? No, because now you're

0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.120
<v Speaker 1>gonna be stuck raising somebody else baby, all right? Cool?

0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:17.840
<v Speaker 1>He leave her alone, he get custody at a child,

0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.360
<v Speaker 1>He come to be with you, He put a baby

0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:25.160
<v Speaker 1>in you, he married you. What's that gonna do? It's

0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.640
<v Speaker 1>gonna make you happy? Does sounds like something that you want? Well,

0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.080
<v Speaker 1>you're never gonna get it because he's not gonna fucking

0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 1>be faithful. He's gonna be still cheating. He's still gonna

0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.840
<v Speaker 1>find a way because you made it so comfortable for

0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:41.040
<v Speaker 1>him to keep using you as a fucking doormat. Whenever

0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.320
<v Speaker 1>he needs you. You're there whenever, And it ain't all

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.560
<v Speaker 1>the time. He don't even hit you up unless they're

0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:46.960
<v Speaker 1>going through something. You mean to tell me that a

0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:50.320
<v Speaker 1>nikka got you only you wor you only worth that much? No,

0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.480
<v Speaker 1>he don't need you. He need a fucking therapist, and

0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:55.320
<v Speaker 1>you can't be it because you're already had sex. You

0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:57.720
<v Speaker 1>don't have sex with your therapist. You already was in

0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:00.080
<v Speaker 1>love with him. He already loved you. It's already already

0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.840
<v Speaker 1>try a relationship. He needs a fucking therapist, all right.

0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.480
<v Speaker 1>You need a therapist too, to help you get over

0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.600
<v Speaker 1>this ship, because I don't think Jess's gonna be all

0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.280
<v Speaker 1>you need. Baby, telling you you're still a little stuck there.

0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:13.840
<v Speaker 1>I love you enough to tell you that, though. I

0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.720
<v Speaker 1>want you to get out of that because you don't

0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:19.280
<v Speaker 1>deserve to keep holding yourself back and you cannot play

0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:23.320
<v Speaker 1>the blame game with this nigga's life. You blame me,

0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:28.200
<v Speaker 1>yourself or what the baby? Get up? Thush yourself off,

0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:32.600
<v Speaker 1>try again, period, and you never know what you had

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.600
<v Speaker 1>until it's gone. That could be taken two ways. It

0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.320
<v Speaker 1>could be taken away like this. It could be taken

0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:41.640
<v Speaker 1>like this. I had something so good and I took

0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:43.800
<v Speaker 1>advantage of it. Now it was gone. Now I miss it.

0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:47.520
<v Speaker 1>Or I had something that was so horrible, so bad

0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:51.040
<v Speaker 1>for me, that I ignored it. I blamed myself. Now

0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:55.600
<v Speaker 1>that it's gone, I see the problem. Sometimes something has

0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.240
<v Speaker 1>to be removed for you to see that it was

0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.920
<v Speaker 1>a problem. So you never know what you add until

0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:05.400
<v Speaker 1>it's fucking taking away from you, or until you remove yourself.

0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:07.800
<v Speaker 1>You have to remove yourself because he ain't gonna do it.

0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.520
<v Speaker 1>You have to be strong enough to say, all right,

0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:11.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna be nobody's door man because I'm gonna

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:12.800
<v Speaker 1>do bad a by myself. It's time for you to

0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:15.960
<v Speaker 1>start doing good. Okay, check back in again. I don't

0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:17.760
<v Speaker 1>care how many updates to take, how many times I

0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:19.520
<v Speaker 1>have to talk to you, how many times I have

0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:21.879
<v Speaker 1>to lend you my mess, whatever, I don't care. You're

0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:23.640
<v Speaker 1>gonna keep checking in with me, and we're gonna get

0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:26.639
<v Speaker 1>this together, all right. I love you, And just like that,

0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.159
<v Speaker 1>we've come to the end of another Carefully Reckless, just

0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:33.199
<v Speaker 1>Fix My Mess episode. Make sure you tune into Carefully

0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Breakfast no matter where you're going, on the way to

0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:36.919
<v Speaker 1>the gym, on the way to taking those kids to school,

0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:38.680
<v Speaker 1>on the way to work. If you want to wake

0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:41.240
<v Speaker 1>up and you ain't got no job. It's fine, go

0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:44.000
<v Speaker 1>back to sleep after you listen to Carefully Reckless. But

0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I will be here each and every Wednesday as early

0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:49.480
<v Speaker 1>as the ass crack of dawn. Make sure you also

0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:52.240
<v Speaker 1>tune into co Parents and Therapy every other Wednesday on

0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:55.320
<v Speaker 1>YouTube or me and my Little Baby Daddy are helping

0:18:55.680 --> 0:19:00.440
<v Speaker 1>other parents create healthy environments to raise their children and

0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:04.640
<v Speaker 1>and to also help them move forward amicably as friends

0:19:05.280 --> 0:20:20.040
<v Speaker 1>and in my deepest Pam voice peace. Carefully Reckless is

0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:23.360
<v Speaker 1>a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more

0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:28.119
<v Speaker 1>podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:29.960
<v Speaker 1>wherever you listen to your favorite shows.