Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back
Speaker 1: with yet another and the last episode of the season. Guys, listen,
Speaker 1: I've just been renewed for season three, so I ain't
Speaker 1: going nowhere. Carefully Reckless season three, we'll be back. Just
Speaker 1: fix my mess. I'm gonna be fixing y'all mess to
Speaker 1: the end of time. Maybe I'll don't know. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I know I've just been renewed, So let's clap
Speaker 1: it up for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And
Speaker 1: I won't be taking no breaks. I'm gonna go straight
Speaker 1: into it, so y'all gonna hear me not only today,
Speaker 1: but next week as well. Between season one and season two,
Speaker 1: I did take a break because I was just trying
Speaker 1: to figure out where I wanted to go with the podcast.
Speaker 1: And now that I found my niche and that's helping y'all,
Speaker 1: I think I want to keep on going. Just want
Speaker 1: to keep on going, and so the wheels fall off.
Speaker 1: I think y'all so much for rocking with me every
Speaker 1: Wednesday and for sending me your stories and then just
Speaker 1: being so vulnerable and open and willing to expose your business,
Speaker 1: you know, and trusting me with it. A lot of
Speaker 1: people who don't know Jessica Moore are scared or intimidated
Speaker 1: to let Jess Hilarious know anything because they're so used
Speaker 1: to Jess with the mess. They ain't even looking at
Speaker 1: me like jess can fix my mess. You know, I've
Speaker 1: been through a lot, and I know a little about
Speaker 1: a lot of things. I don't know everything, but I
Speaker 1: know a little about a lot of things. I always
Speaker 1: say that. So we're gonna jump straight and we do
Speaker 1: not have voice memos because I guess y'all don't I
Speaker 1: guess these niggas and started catching one of y'all voices
Speaker 1: and shit, so y'all like, nah, bitch, I can't. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just write this long as fucking essay and
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to read it, and I am I'm
Speaker 1: gonna read it. This is an update that we had
Speaker 1: from the show that aired December seventh, twenty twenty two,
Speaker 1: So listen. I took your advice, and come to find out,
Speaker 1: it was just a misunderstanding. My middle sister really does
Speaker 1: just want the best for me, and she is afraid
Speaker 1: that I'm not grieving properly. Truth be told, I'm not
Speaker 1: really grieving at all. I just avoid thinking about my
Speaker 1: parents being dead by staying busy. The dynamic of my
Speaker 1: sisters and I is this. My middle sister and I
Speaker 1: share the same parents. My baby sister has a different
Speaker 1: father who has never been involved in her life for
Speaker 1: more than two weeks at a time. So with that
Speaker 1: being said, I need you to help fix my mess again. Ironically,
Speaker 1: my baby sister and I are not speaking right now
Speaker 1: this time. I'm on the verge of keeping it that
Speaker 1: way for good. Let me tell you why she used
Speaker 1: my mom for everything she had and stressed my mom
Speaker 1: out with all of her lies and deception. She would
Speaker 1: make up lies that her kids are going to get
Speaker 1: taken away from her if she didn't get money for
Speaker 1: a lawyer by five pm the same day. She lied
Speaker 1: and lied and said that she had staged four cancer
Speaker 1: and all kinds of shit. None of it was true.
Speaker 1: My mom was retired and could hardly work all the time.
Speaker 1: Would give her the little bit of money that she
Speaker 1: had left to help her? Line? Ask? My mom and
Speaker 1: I got into an argument a few years before she
Speaker 1: passed away because she tried to force me to give
Speaker 1: my hard earned money to my baby sister. I didn't
Speaker 1: give her a red penny. Tom passed by and I
Speaker 1: started talking to my mom again. My mom begged me
Speaker 1: to put my baby sister on my phone account, and
Speaker 1: I fought her so hard. I didn't want to do it,
Speaker 1: but I tried to be the big sister since my
Speaker 1: mom asked me to do it. After about a year
Speaker 1: and a half, I had constantly remind her to send
Speaker 1: her portion of the bill. It has gotten so bad
Speaker 1: now that I've had to make threats about cutting her
Speaker 1: lines off lines or line. She has had a watch
Speaker 1: and an I phone. Okay, lines, you're right, Let me
Speaker 1: mind my business. In December, she tried to make it
Speaker 1: seem like I was getting on her nerves because I
Speaker 1: was asking for her part of the bill that she
Speaker 1: ran up. She tried to guilt trip me by saying
Speaker 1: she was going to take her kids Christmas gifts back
Speaker 1: to the store. I absolutely did not let her do
Speaker 1: that to me. This month, she has ignoring me about
Speaker 1: the bill and it has pissed me off so much,
Speaker 1: stressed me out. At the same time, I can't do
Speaker 1: this anymore. If I cut her and the phone build off.
Speaker 1: I'm certain we will never talk again. Plus I'd be
Speaker 1: held responsible for the early termination fee. Her stuff will
Speaker 1: be paid off in a few months. It makes me
Speaker 1: very sad that this is even an issue between us.
Speaker 1: I thought when our mom died in April, the three
Speaker 1: of us would be tighter than ever. Please help me, Jess,
Speaker 1: I can't take this anymore. Much love for all you do,
Speaker 1: All right, baby girl, Let's first start off with thank
Speaker 1: you for the update. Now, for those who don't remember
Speaker 1: her story, their mother died. This is one of I
Speaker 1: think three sisters. Three girls. This is one of three girls,
Speaker 1: and she's the oldest, and their mother died. They all
Speaker 1: don't have the same father, but they have the same mother.
Speaker 1: And when she died, one of her sisters was looking
Speaker 1: at her like she was crazy because she wasn't crying,
Speaker 1: or she didn't feel emotional. She didn't show like any grieve,
Speaker 1: any grievance for her sister. You know, well in her
Speaker 1: sister's opinion, and she's just so hard up. But I
Speaker 1: was the advice that I gave her was everybody doesn't
Speaker 1: grieve the same. Everybody that is not gonna cry. Everybody
Speaker 1: have different they have different ways of coping with death,
Speaker 1: and in grieving, her grieving is burying herself or work.
Speaker 1: She's burying herself because maybe she can't cry, maybe it's
Speaker 1: so hard for her, she doesn't know how to unlock
Speaker 1: those emotions where she's gonna be a ball of tears.
Speaker 1: She cries in a different way, you know, she grieves
Speaker 1: in a different way. But you did say I'm not
Speaker 1: grieving at all. You still can't even say that. There's
Speaker 1: no proper way to grieve. You grieve how it comes out.
Speaker 1: Some people get angry, some people are sad. Some people
Speaker 1: laugh uncontrollably because they just can't cry. It's a nervous thing.
Speaker 1: It's it's a you know. And then some people fight,
Speaker 1: some people get on drugs. So it's different, diferent ways
Speaker 1: of grieving and coping. You have another problem now, your sister,
Speaker 1: your little sister. Now, she does not share the same father,
Speaker 1: all right. And your mother seemed to have been an
Speaker 1: angel to never give up on your little sister, to
Speaker 1: help all the time and also even encourage you to
Speaker 1: help her when she needs it in areas that she lacks.
Speaker 1: Have you ever thought that maybe your little sister is
Speaker 1: kind of like her father. Y'all didn't have the same dad.
Speaker 1: You ever thought that? Has she ever gotten the attention
Speaker 1: from her father's side of the family. Maybe she feels
Speaker 1: like the black sheet because the rest of y'all got
Speaker 1: the same dad and she doesn't. You know, you ever
Speaker 1: thought about that. You told me her father wasn't in
Speaker 1: her life for more than two weeks at a time.
Speaker 1: Maybe she's angry. Maybe she was looking for all that attention.
Speaker 1: Maybe y'all got more attention than her growing up, and
Speaker 1: maybe that's why she does things like, oh, I got
Speaker 1: staged four cancer and she's lying. She's seeking attention. She
Speaker 1: wants attention. Oh I need the money by this that
Speaker 1: you know, Maybe that that's also attention. She knows nobody
Speaker 1: is gonna Sita sit back and let her children be
Speaker 1: taken away about five o'clock. Maybe that's attention. I don't
Speaker 1: And maybe she's she would and bought drugs with the money.
Speaker 1: Maybe she would. You didn't go into detail. But maybe
Speaker 1: it's not even about using y'all. Maybe this is her
Speaker 1: only way of getting attention, you know, and your mother
Speaker 1: gave her attention all the time. She never had any
Speaker 1: bad blood with your mother. You had bad blood with her.
Speaker 1: Then you ended up having bad blood with your mother
Speaker 1: for caring so much. Now listen, I'm not telling you
Speaker 1: let somebody walk all over you. I'm not telling you
Speaker 1: let somebody use you. I'm not telling you that you
Speaker 1: are absolutely wrong for how you feel. You're still grieving
Speaker 1: the death of your mother, whether you know it or not,
Speaker 1: whether you I don't care how much work you bury
Speaker 1: yourself in. And like you said, you thought that this
Speaker 1: will bring y'all together once mom died. But your sister
Speaker 1: had trauma before your mom died. She had trauma way
Speaker 1: before y'all mom passed, and you don't think she's feeling that. Also,
Speaker 1: that's a lot on her because she already don't have
Speaker 1: a damn daddy, you know what I'm saying, Or don't
Speaker 1: have the best relationship with her dad. Now she ain't
Speaker 1: got a mom, and she got a sister that fucking
Speaker 1: hates her. And I'm just speaking from her point of view.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying you do hate her, but you said
Speaker 1: it's like you can't stand her, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I just want you to sit and talk to her. Okay,
Speaker 1: she ain't talking to you. She's a little sister. I
Speaker 1: know you feel like you tired of being a big sister,
Speaker 1: and sometimes it's like, bitch, take responsibility, take accountability for
Speaker 1: what the fuck you got going on. I know you
Speaker 1: want to tell her all this shit, and you can
Speaker 1: call a meeting. Don't get a phone cut off, call
Speaker 1: a goddamn meeting and talk to her. Go talk to
Speaker 1: your sister, call her phone and then like you can't
Speaker 1: get us such what a shit? You pay up, You
Speaker 1: pay a fucking bill. Go ahead, go meet with her.
Speaker 1: You need to just be one honest with a lay
Speaker 1: it out in the line. But I need for you
Speaker 1: to have at least some type of understanding of what
Speaker 1: she's going through. Like I said, y'all lost y'all mom
Speaker 1: back in April. But before y'all lost mom, she was
Speaker 1: already going through shit because she didn't have a dad
Speaker 1: like the rest of y'all. And whoever her dad was,
Speaker 1: what never fucking there, didn't give a fuck about her.
Speaker 1: And she has given birth to children. She wasn't raised
Speaker 1: the right way. I'm guessing that she used to live
Speaker 1: with her dad. I'm trying to figure it out because
Speaker 1: as loving as your mom was, wouldn't she have lived
Speaker 1: with y'all. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, and I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to rehash, so you know, open that can
Speaker 1: of worms, you know, with speaking on your mom or
Speaker 1: speaking about even bringing your mother up too much. But
Speaker 1: I just want you to come to an understanding with
Speaker 1: your sister. You know, even if you make her work
Speaker 1: how to find a job something, you have to want
Speaker 1: to help more than you want to dismiss her reject her.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I know that sounds like
Speaker 1: nothing that you want to hear right now, but talk
Speaker 1: to her. Talk to her. Let me know how it
Speaker 1: turns out. Don't be so mean, because I feel it
Speaker 1: in your message as you sent me. You can be
Speaker 1: a little mean sometimes and I know she can too,
Speaker 1: But just talk to her, communicate. Communication will do wonders
Speaker 1: for you. I promise you'd be so surprised what a
Speaker 1: conversation can do. Check back in with me. Thank you.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Okay, this is also an update.
Speaker 1: Moving on. I think y'all gonna figure it out when
Speaker 1: I read it. I think this is one of the
Speaker 1: crazy girls. And shit, now I'm gonna call you crazy
Speaker 1: because you're crazy shit staying with that, nigga, Let me
Speaker 1: see if this is the one. First, thanks Jess for
Speaker 1: reading my story. I was chilling on the couch, scrolling
Speaker 1: on Facebook and catching up on your podcasts. As soon
Speaker 1: as I heard you reading my story, I sat up
Speaker 1: and tears came to my eyes. Maybe it's because before
Speaker 1: I even heard your response, I knew it would be
Speaker 1: to leave him alone. Yep, there you go. It hits
Speaker 1: home when you hear your boy said back to you
Speaker 1: out loud. Update is we expressed we had feelings for
Speaker 1: each other, sending long paragraphs back and forth for days.
Speaker 1: But then he told me the only reason he's still
Speaker 1: kind of with her is because she told him if
Speaker 1: he with anybody else or have other kids, she would
Speaker 1: have moved States to go be with family and he
Speaker 1: wouldn't see his son. I love him so much that
Speaker 1: I told him I would never come in between him
Speaker 1: and his child, so I would back off. He claims
Speaker 1: he only got her pregnant because he wanted somebody in
Speaker 1: parentheses his son and his life that would love him
Speaker 1: and never leave him like everybody else did. He always
Speaker 1: hit me up and when I ignore him. He gets mad,
Speaker 1: saying I'm acting different because I have a boyfriend, when
Speaker 1: in reality, it's because I'm hurt. I don't even have
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. I'm hurt because I feel like I ruined
Speaker 1: us by breaking up with him and ignored him every
Speaker 1: time he tried to get back together. My problem is
Speaker 1: I was curious to see if he really was the
Speaker 1: love of my life or is that person still really
Speaker 1: out there. I blamed it on us being young, but
Speaker 1: now I'm out here being an adult, and I don't
Speaker 1: like this dating pool. I just keep thinking that if
Speaker 1: my grandmother didn't die, then he wouldn't be back in
Speaker 1: my life. I was doing good not talking to him
Speaker 1: since we broke up, but when she died, it's when
Speaker 1: I finally responded to his texts. To answer your question,
Speaker 1: she knows about me, and she knows who I am.
Speaker 1: They met because she was his sister's friend, so of
Speaker 1: course she already knew some of his family before they
Speaker 1: even met. I'm not sure if she knows we're messing
Speaker 1: around again, but I think she knows we're in contact
Speaker 1: because she kept deleting me off of his Facebook, and
Speaker 1: he kept readding me whenever he's going through shit and
Speaker 1: he always texts me or come to me to vent.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're right about saying he's my soul meet, but
Speaker 1: as a friend, I guess it might be time to
Speaker 1: actually let go. I'm actually crying typing this. All your
Speaker 1: advice hits differently when it's coming from somebody who isn't
Speaker 1: biased or choosing size because of the history with that person.
Speaker 1: Thanks again, Jess, Love you girl. I love you too, girl.
Speaker 1: I love you too. I mean I mean that, I
Speaker 1: mean that, hold up, hold up. I know the ship
Speaker 1: getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of
Speaker 1: a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen, so you
Speaker 1: know I'm gonna give it to you hard. I don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't care because if I sugarcoat it for you,
Speaker 1: You're only gonna keep on going back. You're gonna find
Speaker 1: different ways to discredit yourself and give him all the
Speaker 1: credit like you're still doing. Do you realize that you
Speaker 1: just said that you ruined your relationship for breaking up
Speaker 1: with him, Girl, it happens, y'all. Break up. You didn't
Speaker 1: ruin y'all. Maybe that was in the cards for y'all.
Speaker 1: Like I told you, nobody is ever going to not
Speaker 1: be with you if they really want to. It can't
Speaker 1: be unless they physically can't be with a person unless
Speaker 1: you in jail, unless you are dad. You listen, people
Speaker 1: end up being with who they want to be with. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't care how many threats to that girl and
Speaker 1: told him that baby Mama then put out there on him.
Speaker 1: Oh if if you go be back with her or
Speaker 1: anybody else, I'm gonna move states away to your kid. Listen,
Speaker 1: he's entitled to his kids just like she isn't. If
Speaker 1: ain't nobody got no custody, then he's just as much
Speaker 1: entitled to those kids as she is. She can move
Speaker 1: to fucking Antarctica and he can fight for joint custody. Listen,
Speaker 1: if your heart belongs to someone, you're going to follow
Speaker 1: that person. You're going to end up being with that person.
Speaker 1: You can just keep him as a friend. You say
Speaker 1: you still sound hurt, though you still sound very, very hurt.
Speaker 1: So that's why I say you just need to leave
Speaker 1: him alone all together, because you still sound way too
Speaker 1: fucking hurt to just be his friend. He hit you
Speaker 1: up when he argued, that's what all these niggas doing.
Speaker 1: He hits you up when he going through something he
Speaker 1: wants to vent. Oh, the only reason why. First of all,
Speaker 1: I hate if a man start a sentence like the
Speaker 1: only reason why I married her, or the only reason
Speaker 1: why I had a baby were here, the only reason
Speaker 1: why I'm still fucking up. I don't want to hear that.
Speaker 1: It's because you want to, motherfucker. It's because you want
Speaker 1: to and don't matter. That's who you wit, that's who
Speaker 1: you love. Ain't ain't no threat by a woman in
Speaker 1: the world gonna make a man stay where he don't
Speaker 1: want to be. So you need to notice that. You
Speaker 1: need to realize that. And you are still holding yourself
Speaker 1: back from ship because you still stuck with this man.
Speaker 1: You still stuck on this man with his own family,
Speaker 1: he had nothing to give you. What could he do
Speaker 1: for you right now? What could he do for you
Speaker 1: right now that will really really make you happy? He
Speaker 1: already got a baby with this girl that he willingly
Speaker 1: made a baby with. I'm gonna keep putting that in
Speaker 1: your brain. Ain't no because she did this, so he
Speaker 1: stuck his dick in a raw, came in, and he
Speaker 1: knew the outcome, and then nine months later, won't baba
Speaker 1: boom blah blah whah bam boom, here go, that's it
Speaker 1: all right? What can he do for you right now?
Speaker 1: Leave the family and then come with you? Not see
Speaker 1: his son? Boom? What's that gonna do? That's gonna make
Speaker 1: him say it? So? Then you still ain't gonna be
Speaker 1: happy because it's because he ain't gonna be happy with
Speaker 1: you because now he's missing a part of him, his child.
Speaker 1: All right. Even if you take the baby from the
Speaker 1: girl and he come be with you, now, what is
Speaker 1: that Is that gonna be happy? No, because now you're
Speaker 1: gonna be stuck raising somebody else baby, all right? Cool?
Speaker 1: He leave her alone, he get custody at a child,
Speaker 1: He come to be with you, He put a baby
Speaker 1: in you, he married you. What's that gonna do? It's
Speaker 1: gonna make you happy? Does sounds like something that you want? Well,
Speaker 1: you're never gonna get it because he's not gonna fucking
Speaker 1: be faithful. He's gonna be still cheating. He's still gonna
Speaker 1: find a way because you made it so comfortable for
Speaker 1: him to keep using you as a fucking doormat. Whenever
Speaker 1: he needs you. You're there whenever, And it ain't all
Speaker 1: the time. He don't even hit you up unless they're
Speaker 1: going through something. You mean to tell me that a
Speaker 1: nikka got you only you wor you only worth that much? No,
Speaker 1: he don't need you. He need a fucking therapist, and
Speaker 1: you can't be it because you're already had sex. You
Speaker 1: don't have sex with your therapist. You already was in
Speaker 1: love with him. He already loved you. It's already already
Speaker 1: try a relationship. He needs a fucking therapist, all right.
Speaker 1: You need a therapist too, to help you get over
Speaker 1: this ship, because I don't think Jess's gonna be all
Speaker 1: you need. Baby, telling you you're still a little stuck there.
Speaker 1: I love you enough to tell you that, though. I
Speaker 1: want you to get out of that because you don't
Speaker 1: deserve to keep holding yourself back and you cannot play
Speaker 1: the blame game with this nigga's life. You blame me,
Speaker 1: yourself or what the baby? Get up? Thush yourself off,
Speaker 1: try again, period, and you never know what you had
Speaker 1: until it's gone. That could be taken two ways. It
Speaker 1: could be taken away like this. It could be taken
Speaker 1: like this. I had something so good and I took
Speaker 1: advantage of it. Now it was gone. Now I miss it.
Speaker 1: Or I had something that was so horrible, so bad
Speaker 1: for me, that I ignored it. I blamed myself. Now
Speaker 1: that it's gone, I see the problem. Sometimes something has
Speaker 1: to be removed for you to see that it was
Speaker 1: a problem. So you never know what you add until
Speaker 1: it's fucking taking away from you, or until you remove yourself.
Speaker 1: You have to remove yourself because he ain't gonna do it.
Speaker 1: You have to be strong enough to say, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be nobody's door man because I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do bad a by myself. It's time for you to
Speaker 1: start doing good. Okay, check back in again. I don't
Speaker 1: care how many updates to take, how many times I
Speaker 1: have to talk to you, how many times I have
Speaker 1: to lend you my mess, whatever, I don't care. You're
Speaker 1: gonna keep checking in with me, and we're gonna get
Speaker 1: this together, all right. I love you, And just like that,
Speaker 1: we've come to the end of another Carefully Reckless, just
Speaker 1: Fix My Mess episode. Make sure you tune into Carefully
Speaker 1: Breakfast no matter where you're going, on the way to
Speaker 1: the gym, on the way to taking those kids to school,
Speaker 1: on the way to work. If you want to wake
Speaker 1: up and you ain't got no job. It's fine, go
Speaker 1: back to sleep after you listen to Carefully Reckless. But
Speaker 1: I will be here each and every Wednesday as early
Speaker 1: as the ass crack of dawn. Make sure you also
Speaker 1: tune into co Parents and Therapy every other Wednesday on
Speaker 1: YouTube or me and my Little Baby Daddy are helping
Speaker 1: other parents create healthy environments to raise their children and
Speaker 1: and to also help them move forward amicably as friends
Speaker 1: and in my deepest Pam voice peace. Carefully Reckless is
Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more
Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.