1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:16,800 Speaker 1: and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: with yet another and the last episode of the season. Guys, listen, 4 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: I've just been renewed for season three, so I ain't 5 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: going nowhere. Carefully Reckless season three, we'll be back. Just 6 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: fix my mess. I'm gonna be fixing y'all mess to 7 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: the end of time. Maybe I'll don't know. I don't know, 8 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: but I know I've just been renewed, So let's clap 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 1: it up for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And 10 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: I won't be taking no breaks. I'm gonna go straight 11 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: into it, so y'all gonna hear me not only today, 12 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,919 Speaker 1: but next week as well. Between season one and season two, 13 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,599 Speaker 1: I did take a break because I was just trying 14 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: to figure out where I wanted to go with the podcast. 15 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: And now that I found my niche and that's helping y'all, 16 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: I think I want to keep on going. Just want 17 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: to keep on going, and so the wheels fall off. 18 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: I think y'all so much for rocking with me every 19 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: Wednesday and for sending me your stories and then just 20 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: being so vulnerable and open and willing to expose your business, 21 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: you know, and trusting me with it. A lot of 22 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: people who don't know Jessica Moore are scared or intimidated 23 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 1: to let Jess Hilarious know anything because they're so used 24 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: to Jess with the mess. They ain't even looking at 25 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,759 Speaker 1: me like jess can fix my mess. You know, I've 26 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: been through a lot, and I know a little about 27 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 1: a lot of things. I don't know everything, but I 28 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,639 Speaker 1: know a little about a lot of things. I always 29 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 1: say that. So we're gonna jump straight and we do 30 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: not have voice memos because I guess y'all don't I 31 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: guess these niggas and started catching one of y'all voices 32 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: and shit, so y'all like, nah, bitch, I can't. So 33 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just write this long as fucking essay and 34 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,759 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to read it, and I am I'm 35 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: gonna read it. This is an update that we had 36 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: from the show that aired December seventh, twenty twenty two, 37 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: So listen. I took your advice, and come to find out, 38 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: it was just a misunderstanding. My middle sister really does 39 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: just want the best for me, and she is afraid 40 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: that I'm not grieving properly. Truth be told, I'm not 41 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: really grieving at all. I just avoid thinking about my 42 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: parents being dead by staying busy. The dynamic of my 43 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: sisters and I is this. My middle sister and I 44 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,519 Speaker 1: share the same parents. My baby sister has a different 45 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: father who has never been involved in her life for 46 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: more than two weeks at a time. So with that 47 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: being said, I need you to help fix my mess again. Ironically, 48 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 1: my baby sister and I are not speaking right now 49 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: this time. I'm on the verge of keeping it that 50 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: way for good. Let me tell you why she used 51 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: my mom for everything she had and stressed my mom 52 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,639 Speaker 1: out with all of her lies and deception. She would 53 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,519 Speaker 1: make up lies that her kids are going to get 54 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: taken away from her if she didn't get money for 55 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: a lawyer by five pm the same day. She lied 56 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: and lied and said that she had staged four cancer 57 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: and all kinds of shit. None of it was true. 58 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,359 Speaker 1: My mom was retired and could hardly work all the time. 59 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: Would give her the little bit of money that she 60 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: had left to help her? Line? Ask? My mom and 61 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 1: I got into an argument a few years before she 62 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: passed away because she tried to force me to give 63 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: my hard earned money to my baby sister. I didn't 64 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: give her a red penny. Tom passed by and I 65 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: started talking to my mom again. My mom begged me 66 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: to put my baby sister on my phone account, and 67 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: I fought her so hard. I didn't want to do it, 68 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: but I tried to be the big sister since my 69 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: mom asked me to do it. After about a year 70 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: and a half, I had constantly remind her to send 71 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: her portion of the bill. It has gotten so bad 72 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: now that I've had to make threats about cutting her 73 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: lines off lines or line. She has had a watch 74 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: and an I phone. Okay, lines, you're right, Let me 75 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 1: mind my business. In December, she tried to make it 76 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: seem like I was getting on her nerves because I 77 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: was asking for her part of the bill that she 78 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: ran up. She tried to guilt trip me by saying 79 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: she was going to take her kids Christmas gifts back 80 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: to the store. I absolutely did not let her do 81 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: that to me. This month, she has ignoring me about 82 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: the bill and it has pissed me off so much, 83 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: stressed me out. At the same time, I can't do 84 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: this anymore. If I cut her and the phone build off. 85 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: I'm certain we will never talk again. Plus I'd be 86 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: held responsible for the early termination fee. Her stuff will 87 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: be paid off in a few months. It makes me 88 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: very sad that this is even an issue between us. 89 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 1: I thought when our mom died in April, the three 90 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: of us would be tighter than ever. Please help me, Jess, 91 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 1: I can't take this anymore. Much love for all you do, 92 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: All right, baby girl, Let's first start off with thank 93 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: you for the update. Now, for those who don't remember 94 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 1: her story, their mother died. This is one of I 95 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 1: think three sisters. Three girls. This is one of three girls, 96 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 1: and she's the oldest, and their mother died. They all 97 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,039 Speaker 1: don't have the same father, but they have the same mother. 98 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: And when she died, one of her sisters was looking 99 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: at her like she was crazy because she wasn't crying, 100 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: or she didn't feel emotional. She didn't show like any grieve, 101 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: any grievance for her sister. You know, well in her 102 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: sister's opinion, and she's just so hard up. But I 103 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: was the advice that I gave her was everybody doesn't 104 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: grieve the same. Everybody that is not gonna cry. Everybody 105 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: have different they have different ways of coping with death, 106 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: and in grieving, her grieving is burying herself or work. 107 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: She's burying herself because maybe she can't cry, maybe it's 108 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 1: so hard for her, she doesn't know how to unlock 109 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: those emotions where she's gonna be a ball of tears. 110 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: She cries in a different way, you know, she grieves 111 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: in a different way. But you did say I'm not 112 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: grieving at all. You still can't even say that. There's 113 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: no proper way to grieve. You grieve how it comes out. 114 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: Some people get angry, some people are sad. Some people 115 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 1: laugh uncontrollably because they just can't cry. It's a nervous thing. 116 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,559 Speaker 1: It's it's a you know. And then some people fight, 117 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 1: some people get on drugs. So it's different, diferent ways 118 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:05,239 Speaker 1: of grieving and coping. You have another problem now, your sister, 119 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: your little sister. Now, she does not share the same father, 120 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: all right. And your mother seemed to have been an 121 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: angel to never give up on your little sister, to 122 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: help all the time and also even encourage you to 123 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: help her when she needs it in areas that she lacks. 124 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: Have you ever thought that maybe your little sister is 125 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: kind of like her father. Y'all didn't have the same dad. 126 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: You ever thought that? Has she ever gotten the attention 127 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 1: from her father's side of the family. Maybe she feels 128 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 1: like the black sheet because the rest of y'all got 129 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: the same dad and she doesn't. You know, you ever 130 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: thought about that. You told me her father wasn't in 131 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: her life for more than two weeks at a time. 132 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 1: Maybe she's angry. Maybe she was looking for all that attention. 133 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: Maybe y'all got more attention than her growing up, and 134 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 1: maybe that's why she does things like, oh, I got 135 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 1: staged four cancer and she's lying. She's seeking attention. She 136 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: wants attention. Oh I need the money by this that 137 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: you know, Maybe that that's also attention. She knows nobody 138 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,359 Speaker 1: is gonna Sita sit back and let her children be 139 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: taken away about five o'clock. Maybe that's attention. I don't 140 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: And maybe she's she would and bought drugs with the money. 141 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: Maybe she would. You didn't go into detail. But maybe 142 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: it's not even about using y'all. Maybe this is her 143 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: only way of getting attention, you know, and your mother 144 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: gave her attention all the time. She never had any 145 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: bad blood with your mother. You had bad blood with her. 146 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,679 Speaker 1: Then you ended up having bad blood with your mother 147 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: for caring so much. Now listen, I'm not telling you 148 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: let somebody walk all over you. I'm not telling you 149 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: let somebody use you. I'm not telling you that you 150 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: are absolutely wrong for how you feel. You're still grieving 151 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: the death of your mother, whether you know it or not, 152 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: whether you I don't care how much work you bury 153 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: yourself in. And like you said, you thought that this 154 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 1: will bring y'all together once mom died. But your sister 155 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: had trauma before your mom died. She had trauma way 156 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 1: before y'all mom passed, and you don't think she's feeling that. Also, 157 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: that's a lot on her because she already don't have 158 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: a damn daddy, you know what I'm saying, Or don't 159 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: have the best relationship with her dad. Now she ain't 160 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: got a mom, and she got a sister that fucking 161 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: hates her. And I'm just speaking from her point of view. 162 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: I'm not saying you do hate her, but you said 163 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: it's like you can't stand her, you know what I'm saying. 164 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: I just want you to sit and talk to her. Okay, 165 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: she ain't talking to you. She's a little sister. I 166 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: know you feel like you tired of being a big sister, 167 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 1: and sometimes it's like, bitch, take responsibility, take accountability for 168 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: what the fuck you got going on. I know you 169 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: want to tell her all this shit, and you can 170 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 1: call a meeting. Don't get a phone cut off, call 171 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: a goddamn meeting and talk to her. Go talk to 172 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: your sister, call her phone and then like you can't 173 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: get us such what a shit? You pay up, You 174 00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: pay a fucking bill. Go ahead, go meet with her. 175 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: You need to just be one honest with a lay 176 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: it out in the line. But I need for you 177 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: to have at least some type of understanding of what 178 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: she's going through. Like I said, y'all lost y'all mom 179 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: back in April. But before y'all lost mom, she was 180 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: already going through shit because she didn't have a dad 181 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: like the rest of y'all. And whoever her dad was, 182 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: what never fucking there, didn't give a fuck about her. 183 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: And she has given birth to children. She wasn't raised 184 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: the right way. I'm guessing that she used to live 185 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: with her dad. I'm trying to figure it out because 186 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: as loving as your mom was, wouldn't she have lived 187 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,200 Speaker 1: with y'all. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, and I'm 188 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: not trying to rehash, so you know, open that can 189 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: of worms, you know, with speaking on your mom or 190 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: speaking about even bringing your mother up too much. But 191 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 1: I just want you to come to an understanding with 192 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: your sister. You know, even if you make her work 193 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 1: how to find a job something, you have to want 194 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: to help more than you want to dismiss her reject her. 195 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I know that sounds like 196 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: nothing that you want to hear right now, but talk 197 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 1: to her. Talk to her. Let me know how it 198 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: turns out. Don't be so mean, because I feel it 199 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: in your message as you sent me. You can be 200 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: a little mean sometimes and I know she can too, 201 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: But just talk to her, communicate. Communication will do wonders 202 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: for you. I promise you'd be so surprised what a 203 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: conversation can do. Check back in with me. Thank you. 204 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 205 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Okay, this is also an update. 206 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: Moving on. I think y'all gonna figure it out when 207 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: I read it. I think this is one of the 208 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: crazy girls. And shit, now I'm gonna call you crazy 209 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,319 Speaker 1: because you're crazy shit staying with that, nigga, Let me 210 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: see if this is the one. First, thanks Jess for 211 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 1: reading my story. I was chilling on the couch, scrolling 212 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: on Facebook and catching up on your podcasts. As soon 213 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: as I heard you reading my story, I sat up 214 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: and tears came to my eyes. Maybe it's because before 215 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,559 Speaker 1: I even heard your response, I knew it would be 216 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 1: to leave him alone. Yep, there you go. It hits 217 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: home when you hear your boy said back to you 218 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 1: out loud. Update is we expressed we had feelings for 219 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: each other, sending long paragraphs back and forth for days. 220 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: But then he told me the only reason he's still 221 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: kind of with her is because she told him if 222 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: he with anybody else or have other kids, she would 223 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 1: have moved States to go be with family and he 224 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't see his son. I love him so much that 225 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,079 Speaker 1: I told him I would never come in between him 226 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 1: and his child, so I would back off. He claims 227 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: he only got her pregnant because he wanted somebody in 228 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 1: parentheses his son and his life that would love him 229 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: and never leave him like everybody else did. He always 230 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: hit me up and when I ignore him. He gets mad, 231 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: saying I'm acting different because I have a boyfriend, when 232 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 1: in reality, it's because I'm hurt. I don't even have 233 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: a boyfriend. I'm hurt because I feel like I ruined 234 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: us by breaking up with him and ignored him every 235 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: time he tried to get back together. My problem is 236 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 1: I was curious to see if he really was the 237 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: love of my life or is that person still really 238 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 1: out there. I blamed it on us being young, but 239 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: now I'm out here being an adult, and I don't 240 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 1: like this dating pool. I just keep thinking that if 241 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: my grandmother didn't die, then he wouldn't be back in 242 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 1: my life. I was doing good not talking to him 243 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,559 Speaker 1: since we broke up, but when she died, it's when 244 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 1: I finally responded to his texts. To answer your question, 245 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: she knows about me, and she knows who I am. 246 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: They met because she was his sister's friend, so of 247 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: course she already knew some of his family before they 248 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: even met. I'm not sure if she knows we're messing 249 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 1: around again, but I think she knows we're in contact 250 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: because she kept deleting me off of his Facebook, and 251 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: he kept readding me whenever he's going through shit and 252 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: he always texts me or come to me to vent. 253 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: Maybe you're right about saying he's my soul meet, but 254 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: as a friend, I guess it might be time to 255 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 1: actually let go. I'm actually crying typing this. All your 256 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 1: advice hits differently when it's coming from somebody who isn't 257 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: biased or choosing size because of the history with that person. 258 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: Thanks again, Jess, Love you girl. I love you too, girl. 259 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: I love you too. I mean I mean that, I 260 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: mean that, hold up, hold up. I know the ship 261 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of 262 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen, so you 263 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: know I'm gonna give it to you hard. I don't care. 264 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 1: I don't care because if I sugarcoat it for you, 265 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: You're only gonna keep on going back. You're gonna find 266 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: different ways to discredit yourself and give him all the 267 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: credit like you're still doing. Do you realize that you 268 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,679 Speaker 1: just said that you ruined your relationship for breaking up 269 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: with him, Girl, it happens, y'all. Break up. You didn't 270 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 1: ruin y'all. Maybe that was in the cards for y'all. 271 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:46,199 Speaker 1: Like I told you, nobody is ever going to not 272 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 1: be with you if they really want to. It can't 273 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 1: be unless they physically can't be with a person unless 274 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 1: you in jail, unless you are dad. You listen, people 275 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: end up being with who they want to be with. Okay, 276 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: I don't care how many threats to that girl and 277 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: told him that baby Mama then put out there on him. 278 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 1: Oh if if you go be back with her or 279 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: anybody else, I'm gonna move states away to your kid. Listen, 280 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: he's entitled to his kids just like she isn't. If 281 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: ain't nobody got no custody, then he's just as much 282 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: entitled to those kids as she is. She can move 283 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 1: to fucking Antarctica and he can fight for joint custody. Listen, 284 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 1: if your heart belongs to someone, you're going to follow 285 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: that person. You're going to end up being with that person. 286 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: You can just keep him as a friend. You say 287 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: you still sound hurt, though you still sound very, very hurt. 288 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: So that's why I say you just need to leave 289 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: him alone all together, because you still sound way too 290 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: fucking hurt to just be his friend. He hit you 291 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: up when he argued, that's what all these niggas doing. 292 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: He hits you up when he going through something he 293 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,520 Speaker 1: wants to vent. Oh, the only reason why. First of all, 294 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 1: I hate if a man start a sentence like the 295 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: only reason why I married her, or the only reason 296 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: why I had a baby were here, the only reason 297 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: why I'm still fucking up. I don't want to hear that. 298 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: It's because you want to, motherfucker. It's because you want 299 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: to and don't matter. That's who you wit, that's who 300 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: you love. Ain't ain't no threat by a woman in 301 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: the world gonna make a man stay where he don't 302 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 1: want to be. So you need to notice that. You 303 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: need to realize that. And you are still holding yourself 304 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 1: back from ship because you still stuck with this man. 305 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 1: You still stuck on this man with his own family, 306 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: he had nothing to give you. What could he do 307 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: for you right now? What could he do for you 308 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: right now that will really really make you happy? He 309 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 1: already got a baby with this girl that he willingly 310 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: made a baby with. I'm gonna keep putting that in 311 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 1: your brain. Ain't no because she did this, so he 312 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,000 Speaker 1: stuck his dick in a raw, came in, and he 313 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 1: knew the outcome, and then nine months later, won't baba 314 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: boom blah blah whah bam boom, here go, that's it 315 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 1: all right? What can he do for you right now? 316 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 1: Leave the family and then come with you? Not see 317 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: his son? Boom? What's that gonna do? That's gonna make 318 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: him say it? So? Then you still ain't gonna be 319 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: happy because it's because he ain't gonna be happy with 320 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: you because now he's missing a part of him, his child. 321 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: All right. Even if you take the baby from the 322 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 1: girl and he come be with you, now, what is 323 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: that Is that gonna be happy? No, because now you're 324 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: gonna be stuck raising somebody else baby, all right? Cool? 325 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: He leave her alone, he get custody at a child, 326 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 1: He come to be with you, He put a baby 327 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: in you, he married you. What's that gonna do? It's 328 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 1: gonna make you happy? Does sounds like something that you want? Well, 329 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 1: you're never gonna get it because he's not gonna fucking 330 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: be faithful. He's gonna be still cheating. He's still gonna 331 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 1: find a way because you made it so comfortable for 332 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: him to keep using you as a fucking doormat. Whenever 333 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: he needs you. You're there whenever, And it ain't all 334 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 1: the time. He don't even hit you up unless they're 335 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: going through something. You mean to tell me that a 336 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 1: nikka got you only you wor you only worth that much? No, 337 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: he don't need you. He need a fucking therapist, and 338 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,320 Speaker 1: you can't be it because you're already had sex. You 339 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: don't have sex with your therapist. You already was in 340 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,080 Speaker 1: love with him. He already loved you. It's already already 341 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 1: try a relationship. He needs a fucking therapist, all right. 342 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 1: You need a therapist too, to help you get over 343 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: this ship, because I don't think Jess's gonna be all 344 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: you need. Baby, telling you you're still a little stuck there. 345 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: I love you enough to tell you that, though. I 346 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 1: want you to get out of that because you don't 347 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 1: deserve to keep holding yourself back and you cannot play 348 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 1: the blame game with this nigga's life. You blame me, 349 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: yourself or what the baby? Get up? Thush yourself off, 350 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: try again, period, and you never know what you had 351 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 1: until it's gone. That could be taken two ways. It 352 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 1: could be taken away like this. It could be taken 353 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,640 Speaker 1: like this. I had something so good and I took 354 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,800 Speaker 1: advantage of it. Now it was gone. Now I miss it. 355 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: Or I had something that was so horrible, so bad 356 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 1: for me, that I ignored it. I blamed myself. Now 357 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 1: that it's gone, I see the problem. Sometimes something has 358 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: to be removed for you to see that it was 359 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: a problem. So you never know what you add until 360 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:05,400 Speaker 1: it's fucking taking away from you, or until you remove yourself. 361 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: You have to remove yourself because he ain't gonna do it. 362 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: You have to be strong enough to say, all right, 363 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be nobody's door man because I'm gonna 364 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: do bad a by myself. It's time for you to 365 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: start doing good. Okay, check back in again. I don't 366 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: care how many updates to take, how many times I 367 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: have to talk to you, how many times I have 368 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 1: to lend you my mess, whatever, I don't care. You're 369 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,640 Speaker 1: gonna keep checking in with me, and we're gonna get 370 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 1: this together, all right. I love you, And just like that, 371 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 1: we've come to the end of another Carefully Reckless, just 372 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:33,199 Speaker 1: Fix My Mess episode. Make sure you tune into Carefully 373 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: Breakfast no matter where you're going, on the way to 374 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 1: the gym, on the way to taking those kids to school, 375 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: on the way to work. If you want to wake 376 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: up and you ain't got no job. It's fine, go 377 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: back to sleep after you listen to Carefully Reckless. But 378 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 1: I will be here each and every Wednesday as early 379 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 1: as the ass crack of dawn. Make sure you also 380 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 1: tune into co Parents and Therapy every other Wednesday on 381 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: YouTube or me and my Little Baby Daddy are helping 382 00:18:55,680 --> 00:19:00,440 Speaker 1: other parents create healthy environments to raise their children and 383 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:04,640 Speaker 1: and to also help them move forward amicably as friends 384 00:19:05,280 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: and in my deepest Pam voice peace. Carefully Reckless is 385 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,360 Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more 386 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 387 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.