Speaker 1: Okay, so let's transition into what Denise and I talked
Speaker 1: about when I called her to say, I'm a little
Speaker 1: overwhelmed and there's just a lot going on and I
Speaker 1: want to do like my traditional Christmas holiday weekend with Brinn,
Speaker 1: and deniseaid I wouldn't ask you this on camera, but like,
Speaker 1: how did you handle the custody situation and the back
Speaker 1: and forth and when your daughter wouldn't be with you?
Speaker 1: When I was sitting there thinking, look who's asking me that?
Speaker 1: Like Denise Richards public divorce like myself, but yours was
Speaker 1: two public people, and it made me realize. And I've
Speaker 1: talked about divorce and breakups and custody and a lot
Speaker 1: of that stuff, and people are starving for it because
Speaker 1: everyone's going through something. And with the rate of divorce
Speaker 1: and with holidays and with custody challenges, I thought we
Speaker 1: would talk about, like both of our experiences of divorce, breakup, custody,
Speaker 1: that type of thing during the holidays, and I thought
Speaker 1: you definitely have a unique perspective on it as well.
Speaker 2: It is it is so hard to go through, which
Speaker 2: is probably why a lot of people don't want to
Speaker 2: get divorced, is because of the kids. But when you
Speaker 2: are going through divorce and going through custody, the holidays
Speaker 2: I think are the hardest times with having to switch off.
Speaker 3: You know, there was a year where.
Speaker 2: One could have Christmas Eve, the other could have Christmas
Speaker 2: and then and it makes it really difficult for that
Speaker 2: and then one could wake up the next morning with
Speaker 2: the children.
Speaker 3: One couldn't.
Speaker 2: It was it became such a schedule and not about
Speaker 2: what the kids want. And that's and I think that
Speaker 2: is so hard, and it's something that so many parents
Speaker 2: go through and it's very, very difficult.
Speaker 3: It was devastating for me.
Speaker 1: So you're talking about what something I've experienced, which is
Speaker 1: that a custody agreement is a contract, but it's supposed
Speaker 1: to be the spirit of that contract is supposed to
Speaker 1: be in the best interest of the kids. And often
Speaker 1: you're getting divorced when these kids are young and you're
Speaker 1: talking to lawyers and thinking about numbers and pieces of paper,
Speaker 1: like meaning you're thinking about the out of a fourteen
Speaker 1: day period and you're gonna have Wednesdays, you're having every
Speaker 1: other this day, you having five and four, you having
Speaker 1: nine and twelve, Like you don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: And you're trying to trust lawyers to tell you how
Speaker 1: it's going to go, and then you get on the
Speaker 1: road and then it's actually real, so it's not just
Speaker 1: like a word like, oh, I'll have them Christmas Eve,
Speaker 1: and you'll have them Christmas Day this year. Then next
Speaker 1: year you'll have them Christmas Day and I'll have it.
Speaker 1: But in reality, what about you as an adult and
Speaker 1: you get into another relationship, what if that whole vacation
Speaker 1: you maybe wanted to take a vacation, you might rather
Speaker 1: just have them the whole sweep and not have them,
Speaker 1: because then you have to stay you're landlocked right for
Speaker 1: a half a day, and then you're going to be
Speaker 1: alone the rest of the vacation. Or like in my mine,
Speaker 1: I never thought about the fact that on the weekends
Speaker 1: we go to the Hampton's and the traffic and the
Speaker 1: time that what you had to get my daughter back
Speaker 1: is so insane that she would get carsick and throw
Speaker 1: up in the car. And if the other person is
Speaker 1: holding you to the letter of the law, like every comma,
Speaker 1: it can be destraught exactly. And then you're getting into
Speaker 1: legal issues because of like a transfer or something that's
Speaker 1: not in the best interests of the child. So what
Speaker 1: Denise and I were talking about, if you have a
Speaker 1: good partner or a good ex, that's going to be
Speaker 1: really flexible because you're gonna communicate and always think about
Speaker 1: the best interest of the child. That's one thing. But
Speaker 1: if you have an ex who's gonna be ornery and rigorous,
Speaker 1: you have to think of everything ahead of time and
Speaker 1: really try to go through it because it will be
Speaker 1: different as the kid gets older and they have sports
Speaker 1: and obligations and just things you didn't think of. So Denise,
Speaker 1: how did you deal with that during the holidays? What
Speaker 1: was your schedule and then how did you navigate that?
Speaker 3: Well, it was.
Speaker 2: Very difficult because what you said, it should be in
Speaker 2: the best interest of kids, but it's the best interest
Speaker 2: of parents right when they're What worked for parents the
Speaker 2: schedule down to the minute. And like you just said,
Speaker 2: so in the beginning with Charlie and I and I'm
Speaker 2: sure he'll be fine that I'm talking about this, and
Speaker 2: he'll probably say it too, we were not getting along
Speaker 2: at all, and it was harder when he was with
Speaker 2: his his other acts Brook. When they got together, it
Speaker 2: was very difficult. I wasn't allowed to go to the house.
Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to. I had to drop the kids
Speaker 2: off at a gate and have someone drive them through
Speaker 2: the gate to the house, which was very difficult for
Speaker 2: the kids because they're like then they feel insecure, like,
Speaker 2: how come come.
Speaker 3: To the house? Yes, And I tried to get Charlie
Speaker 3: to understand it.
Speaker 2: That's just we don't have to be best friends, but
Speaker 2: we can just bake it and be nice to each
Speaker 2: other and let me drop them off to the house
Speaker 2: and let them feel comfortable. Otherwise they would feel so
Speaker 2: insecure and right away like not safe because if mom
Speaker 2: can't come.
Speaker 3: In, why we're going in there?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, right, No, I fully know
Speaker 1: what you mean, and but you and there are layers
Speaker 1: to this, meaning in my situation because of some legal
Speaker 1: stuff that went down, we.
Speaker 3: Lay too, so I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we'll get into the layers because people you'd
Speaker 1: be shocked at how many people need to hear this,
Speaker 1: because I got such a response when I talked about
Speaker 1: this stuff. So it will seem weeds ish, but I
Speaker 1: think we should get into the weeds because my relationship
Speaker 1: to what you just said was that for all of
Speaker 1: these years we.
Speaker 4: Have not had any communication.
Speaker 1: This person that always does all the emailing, so my
Speaker 1: assistance will email someone from my ex's world, yeah, for everything.
Speaker 1: So I'm there's never been any communication between the two
Speaker 1: of us, and many of you may think that's challenging,
Speaker 1: but I want you to know that it's possible. So
Speaker 1: if you're in a hostel situation, you can have an
Speaker 1: entire lifetime and a functional program by either using that
Speaker 1: wizard that people use, but.
Speaker 4: Or emailing a proxy.
Speaker 1: And often what gets really toxic for people in divorces
Speaker 1: and breakups because I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 1: to ignore people who just are broken up because that's
Speaker 1: hard to not just divorces. Text is toxic.
Speaker 4: It does.
Speaker 1: It's fast and it's not slow. It's not slowed down,
Speaker 1: and you can get mean text and want to react.
Speaker 1: And what you should do is if you're in a
Speaker 1: difficult situation, takes six hours to respond to a text,
Speaker 1: or just take it all to email and do the
Speaker 1: same thing. So that's one thing I wanted to say
Speaker 1: to what you said about the transfers, and for me,
Speaker 1: I found that transfers are better to happen at school,
Speaker 1: so it never seems like it's one parent for the
Speaker 1: other parent.
Speaker 4: It's a neutral location.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with that. We didn't go very long
Speaker 2: where I had to do that schedule. Okay, he went
Speaker 2: very sideways and so and then.
Speaker 3: You know, then I was.
Speaker 2: Like trying to I would make excuses for the holidays
Speaker 2: why he wasn't showing up.
Speaker 3: And that's a whole other layer of issues.
Speaker 1: What is that layer, because that's not a layer that
Speaker 1: I understand, and except to know that in many situations,
Speaker 1: in the beginning, the child, the parents want the child
Speaker 1: to like hate the other parent. Like parental alienation really
Speaker 1: does happen, and I've experienced that where the parent really
Speaker 1: wants the kid to be alienated from the other parent,
Speaker 1: and it really does work. When kids get to a
Speaker 1: certain age, their eyes get wide open and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, everything comes clear in the picture and they
Speaker 1: remember all the previous scenes that they were too young
Speaker 1: to really emotionally understand. But when they get older, it
Speaker 1: all comes together and it's very overwhelming for them because
Speaker 1: they realize, oh wait, that's what that meant when that happened.
Speaker 1: So A, it's not a good idea for parents to
Speaker 1: try to get the kid to not like the other parent.
Speaker 1: But well, I'll fantasize thinking like it'd be great if
Speaker 1: that other parent wasn't even you know, we didn't have
Speaker 1: to deal with that other parent. But it's so the kid.
Speaker 1: The child has to have a good, healthy relationship with both.
Speaker 1: And what you're about to talk about is interesting to
Speaker 1: me because it's painful for you to watch your child
Speaker 1: suffer when their parent doesn't show up on Christmas. And
Speaker 1: I haven't seen that, so I want to hear about
Speaker 1: that well.
Speaker 2: First Also, I never wanted I truly, from the bottom
Speaker 2: of my heart, never wanted the girls to hate their dad.
Speaker 2: I want to have a good relationship because I have
Speaker 2: such an amazing relationship with my father and write with
Speaker 2: my mom.
Speaker 3: So that's why I really.
Speaker 2: Wanted us to work hard at keeping it healthy and
Speaker 2: positive and and not say anything bad about I didn't
Speaker 2: if anyone, I would tell everyone in my home, do
Speaker 2: not talk negatively about their dad, don't say a word.
Speaker 2: But I I went overboard, actually to the point where
Speaker 2: when things did go the way they did, they were shocked, like,
Speaker 2: how come they didn't know this right? As got older,
Speaker 2: But I that's what I wanted to do. I really
Speaker 2: do feel like there is no handbook for all of this.
Speaker 2: You have to do what's best for your situation. But
Speaker 2: I do really encourage because a lot of parents also
Speaker 2: asked me to how do I handle it and how
Speaker 2: did I handle it? And the best thing I think
Speaker 2: is to not say a thing negative. But if the
Speaker 2: kids came to me and asked me, I would validate
Speaker 2: their feelings. I understand why you feel that way, but
Speaker 2: let's try to make things better or this. So in
Speaker 2: the beginning, when we did the contract, which didn't last
Speaker 2: very long, that was painful, and it was hard for
Speaker 2: the whole holiday thing with the half a day.
Speaker 3: What we just talked about.
Speaker 2: And then when it got to a point where he
Speaker 2: was gonna come over for Christmas, then you know, he
Speaker 2: would come and see the kids, like at our house
Speaker 2: for dinner, and we were able to be together with
Speaker 2: the kids. That's when he was going through.
Speaker 4: His other divorce, so that happens too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I found it harder when he was with someone
Speaker 2: and then when they split. Even though I have a
Speaker 2: good relationship with Brooke now, at the time when they
Speaker 2: were together, it was not good. And when they split
Speaker 2: then Charlie was wanting to it was okay for him
Speaker 2: to come around me and be with kids and have
Speaker 2: dinners and stuff like that. But then when he got
Speaker 2: deep in his addiction and wasn't able to show up
Speaker 2: for dinner or for Christmas, it was so painful for
Speaker 2: the kids, and I would have to lie to them,
Speaker 2: you know, and make up excuses why he wasn't there.
Speaker 3: And I covered for him a lot. And I don't
Speaker 3: know if that was the right thing to do.
Speaker 1: It sounds like it was the right thing to do
Speaker 1: for them, or just say he's going through something, he's
Speaker 1: having an emotional time. It's fascinating to me that you
Speaker 1: have a markedly more healthy relationship in co parenting than
Speaker 1: I do. But mine is functional, but there are there's
Speaker 1: no one size fits all, That's what we're trying to say,
Speaker 1: you know, And there are different dynamics.
Speaker 2: Mine when mine has gone through many phases. You can
Speaker 2: down and up and down, and you just kind of
Speaker 2: ride the wave of whatever period you're in, whether it's
Speaker 2: what you're going through with your acts or what I
Speaker 2: went through to and you know, sometimes still go through
Speaker 2: even though our daughters are older.
Speaker 1: Yes, in some cases the other person meets someone and
Speaker 1: ends up being better because they become happy, and that's
Speaker 1: so obsessed. And it's the one thing that you said
Speaker 1: about the child, never saying a bad thing about the
Speaker 1: other parent. It's critical because the first thing a judge
Speaker 1: ever said to me on the first day I ever
Speaker 1: met a judge, nine years before we get to you know,
Speaker 1: ten years before we ended up resolving at all, said,
Speaker 1: two parents fighting over the custody of a child is
Speaker 1: like watching your child drown off a doc and you're
Speaker 1: standing up there and they're begging for you to save them.
Speaker 1: Like it's a very damaging thing. So it seems like
Speaker 1: just the throwaway comments don't mean something. They're extremely confusing
Speaker 1: and extremely damaging. I'm going to give point blank advice
Speaker 1: that I think is true. You tell me what you think,
Speaker 1: because you just brought up the Christmas day or the
Speaker 1: Christmas morning, the Christmas night. I think it's terrible to
Speaker 1: divide the holidays. I think it's a terrible idea.
Speaker 2: I think to have the child do like Christmas Eve
Speaker 2: sleepover and then leave Christmas Day it's jarring.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 1: Lot, right, Okay, So any divorce lawyer that suggests that
Speaker 1: is a moron because they have to really strongly, strongly
Speaker 1: advise against. What works for kids the most is consistency.
Speaker 1: So what works for kids the most is like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this parent, parent A, has the children for Christmas.
Speaker 4: As a whole holiday, eve end day.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how Christian you are, it doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: important this is Christmas even day, and the other parent
Speaker 1: on that particular year has them for New Year's the
Speaker 1: next year. You both have the opposite experience. And my
Speaker 1: solution to that, so you don't have your kid, your kid,
Speaker 1: your three year old. You don't have your child on
Speaker 1: Christmas Day and the pajamas and the presents whatever.
Speaker 4: I would do fake Christmas. So I would figure out.
Speaker 1: And I did it for Thanksgiving too, same thing with Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be chop up the day. It's jarring for
Speaker 1: the kids. It's weird and it's just yeah, they're dragging
Speaker 1: their stuff. They can't relax. It's stressful. It should be
Speaker 1: that like on the twenty first or the nineteenth or whatever,
Speaker 1: I would do the whole thing, the Christmas tree.
Speaker 4: We'd wake up. I would say we're gonna do it early.
Speaker 4: Like you just tell the truth.
Speaker 1: You don't say you know, you just Sanna is coming
Speaker 1: here first, and we're going to do it early. This
Speaker 1: is and it was the best thing I ever decided
Speaker 1: to do, because otherwise you're just.
Speaker 4: Crying and wallowing.
Speaker 1: And it's good for you too, because then you get
Speaker 1: to go away and live your own life when you're miserable.
Speaker 2: Well, you're also even though you pretend like everything's okay
Speaker 2: that day, the day they have to go to the
Speaker 2: other parents, you know, in the morning or whatever, obviously
Speaker 2: they're going to pick up on your emotions too. Yes,
Speaker 2: so that's all you know. They are very intuitive, more
Speaker 2: intuitive than we think. And yes, I definitely I agree
Speaker 2: with you one thousand percent. If I could have done
Speaker 2: it all over, I would do that where it was
Speaker 2: the fake holiday and then just let them be.
Speaker 3: With the other parent for the whole holiday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And for some reason the schedule doesn't allow. It's
Speaker 1: after I've had it be where we go to the
Speaker 1: Hamptons after brings away and I haven't been with her
Speaker 1: on Christmas and Sanna came to the Hamptons and dropped
Speaker 1: all the gifts there. Like, you figure it out, but
Speaker 1: you don't make yourself and your child miserable, because both will,
Speaker 1: you know, feed off of each other, and that's why
Speaker 1: I think people are so that's why this season is
Speaker 1: so challenging, because the marketing of what it's supposed to
Speaker 1: be on this day and you know what, you know,
Speaker 1: if you do it on the twenty sixth, the twenty seventh,
Speaker 1: or whenever the kid gets back to you, you can
Speaker 1: get everything on sale, you know, like there are just
Speaker 1: ways to place of yes, this and the same same
Speaker 1: thing for Thanksgiving. I've done Thanksgiving on a Tuesday.
Speaker 3: Right, No, that's what I think.
Speaker 2: That is the healthiest and the best advice that you
Speaker 2: and I could give any parent going through, especially a
Speaker 2: toxic divorce where the parent you know, but there were
Speaker 2: some Christmases that Charlie and Thanksgiving where he was with us.
Speaker 2: If you have a healthy relationship with your ex and
Speaker 2: you guys can all be together, that's wonderful. But if
Speaker 2: you don't and you have to do these schedules, which
Speaker 2: by the way, the lawyers don't want you to get
Speaker 2: along because they make more money or your divorce goes
Speaker 2: on the more money they make, that's the healthiest I
Speaker 2: think too.
Speaker 1: I agree, and I mean it doesn't mean it's not
Speaker 1: going to be hard in the beginning.
Speaker 4: It's exasperating.
Speaker 1: And I would say when you're going through a divorce,
Speaker 1: the idea is worse than the reality. The idea of
Speaker 1: being away from your children. You just can't even believe it.
Speaker 1: You feel like a terrible, disgusting person. You're a disgusting
Speaker 1: mother that is going to like get a divorce and
Speaker 1: not be with your kids. On certain days like what
Speaker 1: kind of person are you? And you beat yourself up.
Speaker 1: I once on Thanksgiving Day, I was alone. I went
Speaker 1: into the ocean.
Speaker 4: It was a it was a.
Speaker 1: Warm day, but it wasn't it was November obviously, and
Speaker 1: I was in the ocean and in the Hamptons. I
Speaker 1: just was hysterically crying and I just needed to like
Speaker 1: do something shocking for my body to like get myself
Speaker 1: out of the depressed, sad slumber.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's it's hard.
Speaker 1: But you've got to proactively predict the emotions because they're
Speaker 1: going to come. Like you've had you've done it enough
Speaker 1: that you know. If you have the type person who
Speaker 1: can be home and watch movies and do yoga and
Speaker 1: you're happy you're sleeping, that's great. But if you're not,
Speaker 1: and you're going to be in a deep depression. You
Speaker 1: have to figure out what the hell you're going to
Speaker 1: do with yourself. Go skiing, go walking, do something.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, because the holidays were so important in my family
Speaker 2: and that was very, very hard for us.
Speaker 3: So you know, it was hard.
Speaker 2: It's hard, and I you and I agree with you
Speaker 2: one thousand percent that is the best advice is to
Speaker 2: do the alternating thing.
Speaker 3: I think it's way harder splitting it.
Speaker 1: It's funny because I'm thinking of also how like with schools,
Speaker 1: you have to be communicative because it happens in the summer,
Speaker 1: and it happens with camp and like you have to
Speaker 1: make things work. You know, there aren't camps don't have
Speaker 1: a divorce program. Like you want to sign up for
Speaker 1: a camp, but they're going to miss two of the
Speaker 1: days of the week because they're not going to be
Speaker 1: with you and you're paying for this camp. Like those
Speaker 1: are other times you have to make up creative situations
Speaker 1: or different types of ways to handle that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if it's on your ex's week where they
Speaker 2: have certain activities and maybe he doesn't want to take
Speaker 2: them to those activities and then he's like, well they're
Speaker 2: missing those activities, And I think that's something that consistency
Speaker 2: is the most important thing with kids and that they
Speaker 2: stick with you know, what they're interested in and what
Speaker 2: they're doing and hopefully it's.
Speaker 3: All in all though it is I mean, it is.
Speaker 2: Really difficult going through a divorce when you have a
Speaker 2: toxic X or a toxic.
Speaker 3: You know, divorce. It sucks, it's.
Speaker 4: Nice, it's not easy.
Speaker 1: And but you think about like I don't love traveling
Speaker 1: a ton because I like to be home and I'm
Speaker 1: a nester and I think you're a homebody too.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I like to stay home a lot too.
Speaker 1: So think about your kids and the worries that they
Speaker 1: have about the stuff and like keep that here because
Speaker 1: that was expensive, and like you got like they're running
Speaker 1: back and forth with a backpack full of stuff, like
Speaker 1: they have to plan to travel every week. Think about that,
Speaker 1: Like you know, they're worried about their special lip gloss
Speaker 1: or their thing, you know, and they're going back and
Speaker 1: forth and it's really hard on them. You try to
Speaker 1: figure out how to make that easier. And you have
Speaker 1: to be very organized with the calendar months in advance
Speaker 1: to try to see the board, see what you're going
Speaker 1: to have, what's going to change. And try to figure
Speaker 1: out even if you see them a little less fewer
Speaker 1: transitions for them.
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 2: And you know, a lot of people don't have the
Speaker 2: luxury of having the money to have the same thing
Speaker 2: in to different places, the same right to their stuff,
Speaker 2: and they.
Speaker 3: Do have to travel with all their clothes and all
Speaker 3: their things.
Speaker 2: They don't have the luxury of oh, okay, they've got
Speaker 2: closed there, they've closed here. That's not realistic for a
Speaker 2: lot of people. And a lot of people can't afford
Speaker 2: a lawyer to go through even a schedule, and they're
Speaker 2: trying to figure out, how do we do this with
Speaker 2: our divorce? Yeah, defensive, Yes, they can't pay to have
Speaker 2: someone continue to deal with the custody.
Speaker 1: It's extremely expensive, that's true. And that's a business like.
Speaker 1: That's a good like. That's why I talk about this
Speaker 1: a lot because I to get you know, I got
Speaker 1: custody of my daughter after a ten year battle primary custody,
Speaker 1: and I had notebooks. I was very organized about everything
Speaker 1: because it's a very long and tedious process. And if
Speaker 1: you can't afford it, the one thing I will say
Speaker 1: is find a way in the beginning to get somebody
Speaker 1: that knows both of you to try and mediate, because
Speaker 1: in the beginning, if you start doing damage, that damage
Speaker 1: becomes rotten. It never goes away, and it keeps getting
Speaker 1: layered on, and then you're arguing more because of things
Speaker 1: that happened right before that, because of things that happen
Speaker 1: right before that thing, Like it's not even about the
Speaker 1: original thing or the reason you broke up. So that
Speaker 1: and try to not break too many eggs, because usually
Speaker 1: if you could agree upon something in the beginning or
Speaker 1: find someone else to be involved, you'll end up going
Speaker 1: back in circles and end up restarted. It's just hard
Speaker 1: to see that when you're seeing red.
Speaker 2: It's very hard, though, to have someone that you both know,
Speaker 2: that you're probably friends with to help mediate, because eventually
Speaker 2: that person will side with one or the other and
Speaker 2: the other person will feel.
Speaker 1: People only talk about the money with the prenup. The
Speaker 1: hardest part of a divorce is not the money. The
Speaker 1: money you can figure out with a calculator, and in
Speaker 1: the worst cases, like I had a forensic account, the
Speaker 1: custody and the children and the emotions is the worst thing,
Speaker 1: and that's not something agreed upon ahead of time. So
Speaker 1: it should be like I love you, honey, and we're
Speaker 1: in a great place. If we break up, let's come
Speaker 1: up with a fair situation that would go on with
Speaker 1: our kids.
Speaker 4: There should be a custody prenup.
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous, Okay, it's ridiculous that doesn't happen. There should
Speaker 1: be a custody prenup. And in addition, this is the
Speaker 1: person that is totally unbiased. It is a law is
Speaker 1: a lawyer that will do this for us for free,
Speaker 1: or an accountant or some business person that will just
Speaker 1: step in right away if this doesn't go well and
Speaker 1: they will help us.
Speaker 3: Rationally want a prenup for custody.
Speaker 1: I know, but nobody does that, and no one's ever
Speaker 1: said that. I've never heard anyone say it money, but
Speaker 1: no one's ever said that. So there should be some
Speaker 1: service that is provided. I should start this out yet,
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, Like have it as
Speaker 1: like this is a custody prenup. This is what is
Speaker 1: suggested because in addition to the holidays all year round,
Speaker 1: there are so many things that people do that are stupid.
Speaker 1: Like I said, like a transition on a Sunday, a
Speaker 1: kid goes from one parents to the other parents house,
Speaker 1: then the next day they're getting up and going to school,
Speaker 1: so like it's jarring for the one parent that had
Speaker 1: the kid, Like they can't make any real plans. All
Speaker 1: day you're thinking about the transfer. Where transfers should flow.
Speaker 1: It should flow through the school. The kid gets dropped
Speaker 1: off at the school by one parent, gets picked up
Speaker 1: by another. Nobody knows anything happened, Nobody hates each other.
Speaker 1: It's all through the school or the camp or that
Speaker 1: kind of activity.
Speaker 2: I'll never forget when my mom was in the hospital
Speaker 2: before she passed away. I was down in San Diego
Speaker 2: for three weeks and the first week, the Wednesday was
Speaker 2: missed and I was like, okay, Then it became two
Speaker 2: more weeks, and I'll never forget my lawyer at the
Speaker 2: time telling me you can't use the uh the dying
Speaker 2: card because I said my mom's passing away. He goes, wow,
Speaker 2: she could die three months from now, and I was like,
Speaker 2: are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 4: Right died.
Speaker 2: A week later because it was like he had to
Speaker 2: get I'm like, I can't drive my kids up from
Speaker 2: San Diego to Los Angeles leave my mom if she
Speaker 2: passed away.
Speaker 3: I will never.
Speaker 2: Forgive myself Oh my god. They were going to send
Speaker 2: a driver, and I said, I'm not going to send
Speaker 2: a two and three year old with a strange man
Speaker 2: in a car for three hours.
Speaker 3: No fucking way.
Speaker 4: I had the same I had.
Speaker 2: If he wants to see the kids, he can drive
Speaker 2: his ass down, pick them up, and drive back.
Speaker 3: I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1: Oh right, But you started to fear. I was threatened
Speaker 1: that I'd be arrested if I didn't transfer. I start
Speaker 1: to fear because it's not real.
Speaker 2: Though. It's because if I didn't do Bill, then I
Speaker 2: would be fucked.
Speaker 4: But it's not real, is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 4: So I was afraid. It's not real.
Speaker 1: I was afraid that I was going to be arrested
Speaker 1: because it was told to the courts that like, because
Speaker 1: my daughter did was traumatized during the pandemic and would
Speaker 1: not transfer. What I mean, I'm not going to get
Speaker 1: into the details, but it was it was traumatic details
Speaker 1: of her not willing to transfer. And I was biting
Speaker 1: my nails off because I my lawyers said, throw her
Speaker 1: in the just put her in the car. You just
Speaker 1: got decision making drag her. I don't care put her
Speaker 1: in the car. Aren't you the mother does it? You're eleven,
Speaker 1: I go, you fucking crazy. My daughter's brain has hives, hyperventilating,
Speaker 1: I cannot throw And but I was genuinely scared I
Speaker 1: was going to be like arrested at my house in
Speaker 1: the hand. It's like I and the judges are not
Speaker 1: like that, Like they're not thinking of every piece of
Speaker 1: minutia and drama, and it would have to be a
Speaker 1: lot to take me coming to get arrested.
Speaker 4: But you still just don't know.
Speaker 1: Somebody could call the cops on you and you could
Speaker 1: get around. So I was like exasperated the whole pandemic,
Speaker 1: which is what ended up leading up to this. I mean,
Speaker 1: she had a guardian ad LTAM, which is her own lawyer,
Speaker 1: to fight for herself, and it was insane. But things
Speaker 1: like that, you're not rational. You're listening to lawyers saying wait.
Speaker 1: So I would try to literally pull my daughter by
Speaker 1: the arm to put her on a cargo and transform
Speaker 1: like this cannot be right, Like this is.
Speaker 4: Not me being a good parent.
Speaker 1: But when something's to the letter of the law, you're
Speaker 1: scared of it, Like I know it's used to threaten you,
Speaker 1: and it's not the way that these contracts are designed.
Speaker 1: They're designed to aid the child, and for anyone going
Speaker 1: through this, I strongly suggest you get a therapist involved.
Speaker 1: And some of you might say that you have to
Speaker 1: have both parents to agree that a therapist can be involved,
Speaker 1: and this.
Speaker 3: Is that's true.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it is, but I've never said, I mean, I've
Speaker 1: never seen a judge be upset at a child talking
Speaker 1: to a mental health professional.
Speaker 3: But something of the money to go to get to
Speaker 3: a judge.
Speaker 4: That's no, that's true about a judge and.
Speaker 2: Both signatures of both parents. And that's true too, to
Speaker 2: even go to a lawyer did.
Speaker 1: But then use your school resources, use the school psychologists,
Speaker 1: use the school guidance counselor. A child has to have
Speaker 1: a place to use their voice. And as a parent,
Speaker 1: you it can't be what you're saying. It'st the other parent,
Speaker 1: because that's not a judge or any any being or
Speaker 1: society is interested in the child's needs. So have places
Speaker 1: for your child to speak freely, like if you can't
Speaker 1: afford it, like I said, a guidance counselor someone at school, like,
Speaker 1: we have to use our resources and it's not embarrassing,
Speaker 1: and there are people there to talk to even teachers
Speaker 1: or great advocates, like if kids are heard by an adult,
Speaker 1: that's better received from a judge then a parent saying
Speaker 1: something about the other parent a third party is a
Speaker 1: great idea.
Speaker 3: No, I agree with you one thousand percent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny because you said how you had the
Speaker 1: holidays as a kid, and I think that we get
Speaker 1: caught up in that too, because for me, like I
Speaker 1: have certain memories, it was the only really sane and
Speaker 1: like meaningful time in my childhood. And as an adult
Speaker 1: we're breathless, feeling like we're falling short or it didn't
Speaker 1: live up to the expectations of our childhoods, and it's
Speaker 1: like we were kids, so Christmas had a different meaning
Speaker 1: than being a responsible adult. But like you kind of
Speaker 1: want to have that with your child and give that
Speaker 1: to them, and it gets depressing when it's not like that.
Speaker 3: It does. I'll never forget.
Speaker 2: One of the best pieces of advice my mom gave
Speaker 2: me before she passed was she said, you have to
Speaker 2: let build the white pick at best.
Speaker 3: Wow, your kids are.
Speaker 2: Growing up very differently than you did. Because I so
Speaker 2: badly wanted to hang on to the small town, but
Speaker 2: I lived in la Wow.
Speaker 3: Very different with pop Rozzi.
Speaker 2: I was married to someone very famous and lived in
Speaker 2: a very big house and had.
Speaker 3: A lot more money than we did when I was
Speaker 3: growing up.
Speaker 2: And she's like, you've got to let go bit And
Speaker 2: that was like such good advice for me, because I
Speaker 2: wanted everything to be perfect, like the perfect family of
Speaker 2: how I grew up, and it was just very different.
Speaker 4: That's so funny.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's where all that stuff, like the fake
Speaker 1: Christmas and the other things come through. And I try
Speaker 1: to make things meaningful, but it's a new meaning and
Speaker 1: it's new traditions.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I have my own traditions with my daughter that are
Speaker 1: different and something even as silly as like on you know,
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to ever miss Christmas morning in a
Speaker 1: place that like feels like cold to her, like that's
Speaker 1: a thing. And we were talking about going and driving
Speaker 1: out to Long Island to go to this our house,
Speaker 1: and she was like, Okay, mommy, can we just drive
Speaker 1: ourselves in the morning because we sometimes have someone drive us.
Speaker 4: I mean I have a driver, that's the truth.
Speaker 1: So that we would wake up in the morning and
Speaker 1: like can we go in our pajamas and can we
Speaker 1: go so there's a Starbucks open, and can we drive
Speaker 1: out there on our own? Like whatever this little thing is,
Speaker 1: it'll be a new tradition, like this us in pajamas
Speaker 1: getting in the car and this little road trip. Like
Speaker 1: she likes these kids especially, I think in divorces like
Speaker 1: to cling on to individual traditions and memories with their parents,
Speaker 1: and I think it's just important to create them, and
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how small or big.
Speaker 4: Like we have one.
Speaker 1: Where we go to this special ornament store and we
Speaker 1: each pick out an ornament that reminds us of the
Speaker 1: other person, and like it's just an ornament store, it's
Speaker 1: just it, but it's a thing that we now do.
Speaker 1: And like so those small things do really have a
Speaker 1: lot of meaning.
Speaker 3: They do.
Speaker 2: Whenever the girls and I travel, I always will get
Speaker 2: an ornament from that place.
Speaker 4: Mm hm same that, no, so that we.
Speaker 2: Always have that for the tree when we you know,
Speaker 2: in each place we get something different that represents the
Speaker 2: place that where we were at.
Speaker 3: And then when they were younger, we always would do cookies.
Speaker 3: Baking cookies was huge for us.
Speaker 1: And when you decorate the tree, you see those ornaments, Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you remind it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And it's nice and it's special for them, and you know,
Speaker 2: when they're older, they'll be able to take those with them,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: So it's nice.
Speaker 1: And do you do how what will your Christmas and
Speaker 1: New Year's look like? Because when we talked on the phone,
Speaker 1: you were a little like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: You know, you should go to Montana every Christmas and
Speaker 2: we love being in the snow, and my sister lives
Speaker 2: there with her boys.
Speaker 3: But this year, I think we're going to stay in.
Speaker 4: La And just who's going to be with you?
Speaker 3: It's going to be just small.
Speaker 2: It'll be my in laws are here and my dad
Speaker 2: will spend it with him, and you know, just be
Speaker 2: just us.
Speaker 1: And where will the kids be this year? Like what
Speaker 1: happens with them as older kids?
Speaker 3: Oh, they'll they'll be with with me.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, they will be with you.
Speaker 3: You know. Maybe their dad's will always welcome to come.
Speaker 2: So it's it's a few weeks out, so for him
Speaker 2: it's years away.
Speaker 1: We'll see, yeah, And what about the presence and the
Speaker 1: pressure of presents, like, how did you how did you
Speaker 1: deal with that? You know?
Speaker 2: Okay, So they're the older girls are eighteen and nineteen,
Speaker 2: so it's different from them than Eloise. They go through
Speaker 2: a phase where you know they want, where you feel
Speaker 2: like you have to get them every single thing they
Speaker 2: want or try to or try to make things good.
Speaker 2: And now that they're older though, it's you know, one
Speaker 2: or two, just something special that they really want.
Speaker 3: I don't go overboard with the presence.
Speaker 1: And since you grew up in a small town with
Speaker 1: a normal pick of fence childhood when they were younger,
Speaker 1: how did you deal with the pressure of the Hollywood
Speaker 1: gifts and the expensive stuff?
Speaker 3: And like, oh, I went nuts with Christmas?
Speaker 4: You did.
Speaker 3: My dad was like, you are doing what you wanted
Speaker 3: as a kid.
Speaker 1: Interesting and you didn't feel bad about it, like you
Speaker 1: love doing it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I you know, it was crazy. I went overboard.
Speaker 2: But I remember Sammy was the one that was starting
Speaker 2: to not believe in Santa much earlier than Lola. She's like,
Speaker 2: I just don't understand how he goes through that chimney.
Speaker 2: How does he fit And why why wouldn't you open
Speaker 2: the front door because that's just where he goes.
Speaker 1: And actually, I think coming from a sleigh because I
Speaker 1: do believe in Santa Claus, it's easier to just like
Speaker 1: park the sleigh mid air and just jump down a chimney.
Speaker 3: It makes sense to me about Santa and stuff on him.
Speaker 1: No you can't, I mean you can't. I mean I
Speaker 1: believe in Santa. You can say whatever you want. You
Speaker 1: were saying somebody didn't believe in Santa. I realized earlier
Speaker 1: and then what so what was that?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 4: What happened after that? As a result, I.
Speaker 2: Was able to show a picture of Santa like bent
Speaker 2: over dropping the presence off.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, got it? Got it?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: I would say that for me with the presence from me,
Speaker 1: and year round this happens. I really try to hold
Speaker 1: the reins because there's so many experiences that we do together,
Speaker 1: like you know, even it's going to the jingle Ball
Speaker 1: and meeting celebrities, or we're going to Australia because I'm
Speaker 1: doing an appearance or all that stuff. She has a
Speaker 1: life that I'm always like, your life is, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: So I try to be to I try to like
Speaker 1: limit the purchases, and she has to. If she wants something,
Speaker 1: she has a dude's get you know, earn it.
Speaker 4: But also.
Speaker 1: If she wants new things, she has to get rid
Speaker 1: of things, like it's like an in and out, so
Speaker 1: then things really have value. And I'm really diligent about
Speaker 1: that because I want to keep control of this program
Speaker 1: because you know, it's hard to I didn't grow up
Speaker 1: that way either.
Speaker 4: Like my daughter.
Speaker 1: You know, if there's like a breakout or something, she
Speaker 1: can get a facial to clean her face. People can't afford,
Speaker 1: you know, to do that, and they just get actne
Speaker 1: have to like cry and suffer emotionally. She just has
Speaker 1: access to a lot, which so I indulge that, or
Speaker 1: like a tutor. I find that being able to have
Speaker 1: a tutor or go to a dermatologist, those are luxuries,
Speaker 1: but like buying everything you want, I really try to
Speaker 1: control it because it's like she goes to a rich
Speaker 1: school with rich kids, and many of them have a
Speaker 1: lot more stuff. The do you or blush and all
Speaker 1: the makeup, and I'm just like, what the hell?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: The Prada and I'm like, I'm not going down that road.
Speaker 1: I mean, and one day it will happen on her own,
Speaker 1: because that's they do what they want, I guess, but
Speaker 1: for now I try to really control that beast.
Speaker 3: How old is she again?
Speaker 4: She's thirteen?
Speaker 3: Thirteen.
Speaker 4: Oh boy, Yeah, it's when it starts.
Speaker 3: Saw a couple of tough years.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the other thing I'll do, which is a dirty
Speaker 1: secret that parents can listen to. If there is a
Speaker 1: gift that she's gotten in the past. Let's say it
Speaker 1: was a birthday or Christmas, and like, I see it
Speaker 1: still in the box that like she never touched it
Speaker 1: or used it. I'll wrap it up and give it
Speaker 1: to someone else. Or I'll wrap it up and give
Speaker 1: it to her again because she probably forgot about it.
Speaker 1: I'll wrap up the same game because I'm not like
Speaker 1: she it could be a year and she hasn't seen it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what about this art set that we were
Speaker 1: so excited about and that we need. So it's like
Speaker 1: we'll give it. She won't even remember. I hope when
Speaker 1: don't listen to this podcast. But yeah, because I but
Speaker 1: your podcast. No, but some of her friends at school
Speaker 1: do some of her I seem to.
Speaker 2: Still with that part of it, like the celebrity part
Speaker 2: with you and your daughter.
Speaker 1: It's really sheltered in the sense that she hasn't watched
Speaker 1: She's watched like clips of the Housewise, they don't watch
Speaker 1: TV on TVs. They watch it on their phone, so
Speaker 1: she's seeing clips and she finds it. She finds it
Speaker 1: trashy and embarrassing. That's her right, not a judge. She's
Speaker 1: just like, I don't think it's I don't want you
Speaker 1: to do it. I find it trashy and embarrassing. So
Speaker 1: that's something just to note. So she finds it trashy
Speaker 1: and embarrassing. And then I don't really go out that much,
Speaker 1: so it's not like we're on carpets.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: The jingle ball is a very rare, actually.
Speaker 2: Very You're in the media a lot, and you're on
Speaker 2: social media a lot.
Speaker 3: How does she deal with that part?
Speaker 1: Yes, the TikTok she sees, and the Instagram she sees.
Speaker 1: The media she doesn't see because she doesn't have a
Speaker 1: Google alert. I mean, she doesn't look for it. She
Speaker 1: probably has looked for stuff about our divorce and read
Speaker 1: up on that, but she doesn't really like Google me
Speaker 1: because I know her, she's the type person to say, wait,
Speaker 1: what about that? But she sees the social media posts,
Speaker 1: and you know, I think, I don't really think about
Speaker 1: it that much. But I just having a daughter that's
Speaker 1: thirteen has informed my decisions as to what I talk
Speaker 1: about and say, I'm it's the way that I say it,
Speaker 1: which I could have used in my life anyway. So
Speaker 1: I've changed a lot the way that I say things
Speaker 1: like not everything needs to be said, and if something
Speaker 1: that you really want to talk about you think people
Speaker 1: will relate to, it's the way that you say it, definitely,
Speaker 1: you know, as a very outspoken person.
Speaker 3: I think it gets fifteen sixteen.
Speaker 2: It'll shift with that too, where she'll be more aware
Speaker 2: of the stuff with you, shifted with me with the
Speaker 2: older girls.
Speaker 4: You're right, and now it's that line.
Speaker 2: Of your career and being a mom and being in
Speaker 2: the public.
Speaker 3: It's so strange. It's hard.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, like she knows when we're at a restaurant,
Speaker 1: I mean we get stopped a lot, but it's so
Speaker 1: friendly and the people are so nice and it's not
Speaker 1: like crazy. But she got recognized without me. The other
Speaker 1: day She's like, Mom, I got recognized, and you know
Speaker 1: what to be properly.
Speaker 4: I like like that little tiny.
Speaker 1: Version of it for her because it's a little fun
Speaker 1: like she's not you know, Stock, she's not Northwest, you know,
Speaker 1: but it's sort of like a little bit of a
Speaker 1: light and the fact that people that she's known, you know,
Speaker 1: to be honest, I realized that she'll have she'll be
Speaker 1: a little bit of a nepple baby and have a
Speaker 1: little bit of a leg up. And you know, it's
Speaker 1: okay to have a leg up in life, like, but
Speaker 1: I don't want her to bask in it or live
Speaker 1: in it. It's just like she dips her toe in it.
Speaker 1: I don't know, what do you think about that? With
Speaker 1: the with the girls and like they do they are
Speaker 1: they famous? Are they sort of famous?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: I would say Sammy gets recognized more than Lola because
Speaker 2: Sammy's out there more than she is, right, but they
Speaker 2: they get uncomfortable with paparazzi recognizing them, you know, if
Speaker 2: they feel if they're in like a sweatshirt or something,
Speaker 2: or like, I don't look funny.
Speaker 3: That age that.
Speaker 2: Those few years of where they're you know, a teenager
Speaker 2: and want to look a certain way. Prior to that,
Speaker 2: when they were with their some of their girlfriends, their
Speaker 2: friends would be like crazy in front of paparazzi and
Speaker 2: jump up and down and do things and they would
Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, don't don't say anything or whatever.
Speaker 2: They they were so used to it because since they
Speaker 2: were babies, they've had been around paparazzi.
Speaker 3: They grew up with it, but being more aware of.
Speaker 2: It as they've gotten older and what their parents do,
Speaker 2: it's a little different.
Speaker 3: But I think that.
Speaker 2: They I would say, both of them. I could see
Speaker 2: them both be in front of the camera. Sammy ironically,
Speaker 2: she actually would love to do like directing or you know,
Speaker 2: something like that.
Speaker 3: But it's it's strange.
Speaker 2: I think it's a strange thing when they do get
Speaker 2: recognized on their own without a parent with.
Speaker 1: The right and you know, it's funny because like Bryn
Speaker 1: last year said, oh, they took my picture alone mama,
Speaker 1: like on the you know, and it showed up somewhere
Speaker 1: and she loves when, you know. She said, they said,
Speaker 1: oh Brinn brought her mom to the party, you know,
Speaker 1: and I like that for her.
Speaker 3: I think that makes them feel good.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's all about you, It's all about Denise Richards.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's I agree that that's the thing that I
Speaker 2: was going to ask too. And when your daughter gets
Speaker 2: to be around fifteen sixteen, it's a hard thing for daughters,
Speaker 2: especially with moms with kids wanting to get to know
Speaker 2: them because of who their mom is or boys.
Speaker 4: Oh by the way, I see.
Speaker 1: Oh, she had a friend that would be over here
Speaker 1: and always wanted to be in the room where I
Speaker 1: was and wanted to talk to me about the makeup
Speaker 1: and my hair, Like I felt like I was with
Speaker 1: the pier, like asking me about my clothes and my fashion.
Speaker 1: It felt uncomfortable because it's like, I don't think a
Speaker 1: kid should be talking about Dior and like we're on
Speaker 1: the same level, like, oh my god, I have pants
Speaker 1: like that, Like I'm fifty three years old, Like you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mus supposed to be wearing
Speaker 1: or buying or affording the same things you do. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a thing at their age, for sure, and it's
Speaker 1: what we do for a living. You can't apologize for that.
Speaker 1: But you want to be aware that you're the center
Speaker 1: of attention in many cases, so you want to balance
Speaker 1: that out, I think, but not be overcompensated about it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it gets too crazy where it's like this is
Speaker 1: how we pay the bills around here, right, you know,
Speaker 1: this is how your kids you afforded their lifestyle, so exact,
Speaker 1: you got to ride that line.
Speaker 4: I think it is a fine line, though it's hard
Speaker 4: it is hard.
Speaker 3: Don't see it more when she gets a little bit older.
Speaker 4: I know, I'm interested to see what that's going to
Speaker 4: be like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, especially boys. Oh really oh with the book?
Speaker 1: Oh right, yeah yeah. I'm not looking for her to
Speaker 1: be used by anybody about this either.
Speaker 3: No, but you know what I'm saying. It's like when
Speaker 3: it's weird for a boy to say something.
Speaker 4: About oh the mom.
Speaker 3: Yes, and it's like a little teenager weird.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because some of her friend boyfriends like hanging out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get exactly. I'd picking up what you're putting down. Amazing.
Speaker 1: Wow, Well this was awesome. The last thing, the only
Speaker 1: thing I'll say is don't get caught up in the minutia.
Speaker 1: Meet people are very tempted to constantly be in the
Speaker 1: weeds about everything, and it's not important.
Speaker 4: It just it takes away. It crushes your soul.
Speaker 1: And if you are in a legal battle, the judge
Speaker 1: and the lawyers, nobody cares about the minutia. They'll take
Speaker 1: your money and your emails about it that you're paying for.
Speaker 1: But don't get caught up in every little thing that's
Speaker 1: some one did. Because there are kids that are really
Speaker 1: being abused in the world, and judges don't care about
Speaker 1: every little piece of information that we want to give them,
Speaker 1: or lawyers.
Speaker 2: And it becomes about that, and you miss the moments. Yes,
Speaker 2: don't miss the moments with the kids.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. And it goes so quickly, so fast.
Speaker 1: Yes, when they're little, you think that the time is
Speaker 1: the most important thing, when in fact they're emotional well being.
Speaker 1: The decisions, the religion, the school, the camps, the real
Speaker 1: medical those decisions are more important than the time. And
Speaker 1: when they get to be a certain age, they're spending
Speaker 1: all their time with their friends and at school. So
Speaker 1: you were worried and fighting about every hour and every day,
Speaker 1: and it's going to become less and less important.
Speaker 4: Sad.
Speaker 2: I think one of the best gifts you can give
Speaker 2: your kids is time. So the time you are spending together,
Speaker 2: don't spend that time fighting with the.
Speaker 4: X exactly on your phone you're.
Speaker 2: Doing all this shit, because that's the stuff that is
Speaker 2: it goes so fast beyond.
Speaker 1: That's a great that's a great note. Try to be present,
Speaker 1: not be on the phone at the time. And it's true,
Speaker 1: it's true. And the last thing I'll just say is,
Speaker 1: like people fall into hating their ex more than they
Speaker 1: love their kids.
Speaker 4: Do not fall in that trap the kids first.
Speaker 3: I always say to Charlie, just pretend.
Speaker 2: If the times were it was so hostile with us,
Speaker 2: I said, just pretend for them, Just do it for them. Nice,
Speaker 2: get us, it's about let's do this for them. They
Speaker 2: didn't ask me in a split family, right, you know,
Speaker 2: he didn't come from divorced parents. I didn't either, right,
Speaker 2: So I said, I couldn't imagine.
Speaker 3: Having to go back and forth. We didn't grow up.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Yeah, you know. So, yeah, that's.
Speaker 3: One of the things that I would always ask him
Speaker 3: to do.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Brooke Burke was the first person who ever told me
Speaker 1: about that. When she was with David Charvey. She used
Speaker 1: to say, the kids would come back from the other
Speaker 1: house and like they'd be like maybe like a transitional day.
Speaker 1: Everybody's was like, you messed up on that, And I
Speaker 1: didn't understand because I hadn't gone through it.
Speaker 4: And not until you go through it do you realize.
Speaker 1: It's tough times, but you can get through them and
Speaker 1: you can be present and it's something to survive.
Speaker 4: But it's it's all about the kids, You're right, So Denise,
Speaker 4: I love you.
Speaker 1: You're so amazing and I'm still waiting to have our
Speaker 1: time together where.
Speaker 4: You interview me, I can interview you. And when I
Speaker 4: get a plane and then I'm going on vacation with
Speaker 4: you and Charlie. So I've got a lot to look
Speaker 4: forward to. I'm going on a family vacation.
Speaker 3: Yes, we're going to go on a family vacation.
Speaker 4: Amazing.
Speaker 1: I will have the most beautiful holiday.
Speaker 4: I had such a good time with you. It was great.
Speaker 4: I appreciate you so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you you too.
Speaker 4: Awesome. Tell Aaron, I said, Hills love bye you too.
Speaker 3: Bye Hone