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Speaker 1: Okay, so let's transition into what Denise and I talked

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Speaker 1: about when I called her to say, I'm a little

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Speaker 1: overwhelmed and there's just a lot going on and I

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Speaker 1: want to do like my traditional Christmas holiday weekend with Brinn,

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Speaker 1: and deniseaid I wouldn't ask you this on camera, but like,

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Speaker 1: how did you handle the custody situation and the back

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Speaker 1: and forth and when your daughter wouldn't be with you?

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Speaker 1: When I was sitting there thinking, look who's asking me that?

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Speaker 1: Like Denise Richards public divorce like myself, but yours was

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Speaker 1: two public people, and it made me realize. And I've

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Speaker 1: talked about divorce and breakups and custody and a lot

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Speaker 1: of that stuff, and people are starving for it because

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Speaker 1: everyone's going through something. And with the rate of divorce

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Speaker 1: and with holidays and with custody challenges, I thought we

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Speaker 1: would talk about, like both of our experiences of divorce, breakup, custody,

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Speaker 1: that type of thing during the holidays, and I thought

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Speaker 1: you definitely have a unique perspective on it as well.

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Speaker 2: It is it is so hard to go through, which

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Speaker 2: is probably why a lot of people don't want to

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Speaker 2: get divorced, is because of the kids. But when you

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Speaker 2: are going through divorce and going through custody, the holidays

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Speaker 2: I think are the hardest times with having to switch off.

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Speaker 3: You know, there was a year where.

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Speaker 2: One could have Christmas Eve, the other could have Christmas

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Speaker 2: and then and it makes it really difficult for that

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Speaker 2: and then one could wake up the next morning with

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Speaker 2: the children.

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Speaker 3: One couldn't.

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Speaker 2: It was it became such a schedule and not about

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Speaker 2: what the kids want. And that's and I think that

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Speaker 2: is so hard, and it's something that so many parents

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Speaker 2: go through and it's very, very difficult.

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Speaker 3: It was devastating for me.

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Speaker 1: So you're talking about what something I've experienced, which is

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Speaker 1: that a custody agreement is a contract, but it's supposed

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Speaker 1: to be the spirit of that contract is supposed to

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Speaker 1: be in the best interest of the kids. And often

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Speaker 1: you're getting divorced when these kids are young and you're

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Speaker 1: talking to lawyers and thinking about numbers and pieces of paper,

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Speaker 1: like meaning you're thinking about the out of a fourteen

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Speaker 1: day period and you're gonna have Wednesdays, you're having every

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Speaker 1: other this day, you having five and four, you having

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Speaker 1: nine and twelve, Like you don't know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: And you're trying to trust lawyers to tell you how

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Speaker 1: it's going to go, and then you get on the

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Speaker 1: road and then it's actually real, so it's not just

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Speaker 1: like a word like, oh, I'll have them Christmas Eve,

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Speaker 1: and you'll have them Christmas Day this year. Then next

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Speaker 1: year you'll have them Christmas Day and I'll have it.

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Speaker 1: But in reality, what about you as an adult and

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Speaker 1: you get into another relationship, what if that whole vacation

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Speaker 1: you maybe wanted to take a vacation, you might rather

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Speaker 1: just have them the whole sweep and not have them,

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Speaker 1: because then you have to stay you're landlocked right for

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Speaker 1: a half a day, and then you're going to be

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Speaker 1: alone the rest of the vacation. Or like in my mine,

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Speaker 1: I never thought about the fact that on the weekends

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Speaker 1: we go to the Hampton's and the traffic and the

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Speaker 1: time that what you had to get my daughter back

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Speaker 1: is so insane that she would get carsick and throw

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Speaker 1: up in the car. And if the other person is

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Speaker 1: holding you to the letter of the law, like every comma,

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Speaker 1: it can be destraught exactly. And then you're getting into

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Speaker 1: legal issues because of like a transfer or something that's

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Speaker 1: not in the best interests of the child. So what

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Speaker 1: Denise and I were talking about, if you have a

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Speaker 1: good partner or a good ex, that's going to be

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Speaker 1: really flexible because you're gonna communicate and always think about

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Speaker 1: the best interest of the child. That's one thing. But

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Speaker 1: if you have an ex who's gonna be ornery and rigorous,

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Speaker 1: you have to think of everything ahead of time and

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Speaker 1: really try to go through it because it will be

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Speaker 1: different as the kid gets older and they have sports

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Speaker 1: and obligations and just things you didn't think of. So Denise,

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Speaker 1: how did you deal with that during the holidays? What

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Speaker 1: was your schedule and then how did you navigate that?

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Speaker 3: Well, it was.

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Speaker 2: Very difficult because what you said, it should be in

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Speaker 2: the best interest of kids, but it's the best interest

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Speaker 2: of parents right when they're What worked for parents the

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Speaker 2: schedule down to the minute. And like you just said,

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Speaker 2: so in the beginning with Charlie and I and I'm

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Speaker 2: sure he'll be fine that I'm talking about this, and

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Speaker 2: he'll probably say it too, we were not getting along

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Speaker 2: at all, and it was harder when he was with

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Speaker 2: his his other acts Brook. When they got together, it

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Speaker 2: was very difficult. I wasn't allowed to go to the house.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to. I had to drop the kids

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Speaker 2: off at a gate and have someone drive them through

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Speaker 2: the gate to the house, which was very difficult for

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Speaker 2: the kids because they're like then they feel insecure, like,

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Speaker 2: how come come.

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Speaker 3: To the house? Yes, And I tried to get Charlie

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Speaker 3: to understand it.

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Speaker 2: That's just we don't have to be best friends, but

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Speaker 2: we can just bake it and be nice to each

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Speaker 2: other and let me drop them off to the house

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Speaker 2: and let them feel comfortable. Otherwise they would feel so

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Speaker 2: insecure and right away like not safe because if mom

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Speaker 2: can't come.

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Speaker 3: In, why we're going in there?

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean, right, No, I fully know

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Speaker 1: what you mean, and but you and there are layers

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Speaker 1: to this, meaning in my situation because of some legal

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Speaker 1: stuff that went down, we.

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Speaker 3: Lay too, so I know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So we'll get into the layers because people you'd

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Speaker 1: be shocked at how many people need to hear this,

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Speaker 1: because I got such a response when I talked about

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Speaker 1: this stuff. So it will seem weeds ish, but I

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Speaker 1: think we should get into the weeds because my relationship

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Speaker 1: to what you just said was that for all of

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Speaker 1: these years we.

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Speaker 4: Have not had any communication.

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Speaker 1: This person that always does all the emailing, so my

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Speaker 1: assistance will email someone from my ex's world, yeah, for everything.

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Speaker 1: So I'm there's never been any communication between the two

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Speaker 1: of us, and many of you may think that's challenging,

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Speaker 1: but I want you to know that it's possible. So

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Speaker 1: if you're in a hostel situation, you can have an

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Speaker 1: entire lifetime and a functional program by either using that

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Speaker 1: wizard that people use, but.

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Speaker 4: Or emailing a proxy.

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Speaker 1: And often what gets really toxic for people in divorces

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Speaker 1: and breakups because I don't want to I don't want

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Speaker 1: to ignore people who just are broken up because that's

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Speaker 1: hard to not just divorces. Text is toxic.

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Speaker 4: It does.

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Speaker 1: It's fast and it's not slow. It's not slowed down,

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Speaker 1: and you can get mean text and want to react.

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Speaker 1: And what you should do is if you're in a

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Speaker 1: difficult situation, takes six hours to respond to a text,

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Speaker 1: or just take it all to email and do the

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Speaker 1: same thing. So that's one thing I wanted to say

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Speaker 1: to what you said about the transfers, and for me,

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Speaker 1: I found that transfers are better to happen at school,

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Speaker 1: so it never seems like it's one parent for the

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Speaker 1: other parent.

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Speaker 4: It's a neutral location.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with that. We didn't go very long

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Speaker 2: where I had to do that schedule. Okay, he went

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Speaker 2: very sideways and so and then.

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Speaker 3: You know, then I was.

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Speaker 2: Like trying to I would make excuses for the holidays

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Speaker 2: why he wasn't showing up.

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Speaker 3: And that's a whole other layer of issues.

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Speaker 1: What is that layer, because that's not a layer that

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Speaker 1: I understand, and except to know that in many situations,

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Speaker 1: in the beginning, the child, the parents want the child

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Speaker 1: to like hate the other parent. Like parental alienation really

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Speaker 1: does happen, and I've experienced that where the parent really

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Speaker 1: wants the kid to be alienated from the other parent,

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Speaker 1: and it really does work. When kids get to a

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Speaker 1: certain age, their eyes get wide open and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, everything comes clear in the picture and they

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Speaker 1: remember all the previous scenes that they were too young

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Speaker 1: to really emotionally understand. But when they get older, it

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Speaker 1: all comes together and it's very overwhelming for them because

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Speaker 1: they realize, oh wait, that's what that meant when that happened.

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Speaker 1: So A, it's not a good idea for parents to

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Speaker 1: try to get the kid to not like the other parent.

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Speaker 1: But well, I'll fantasize thinking like it'd be great if

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Speaker 1: that other parent wasn't even you know, we didn't have

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Speaker 1: to deal with that other parent. But it's so the kid.

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Speaker 1: The child has to have a good, healthy relationship with both.

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Speaker 1: And what you're about to talk about is interesting to

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Speaker 1: me because it's painful for you to watch your child

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Speaker 1: suffer when their parent doesn't show up on Christmas. And

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen that, so I want to hear about

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Speaker 1: that well.

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Speaker 2: First Also, I never wanted I truly, from the bottom

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Speaker 2: of my heart, never wanted the girls to hate their dad.

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Speaker 2: I want to have a good relationship because I have

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Speaker 2: such an amazing relationship with my father and write with

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Speaker 2: my mom.

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Speaker 3: So that's why I really.

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Speaker 2: Wanted us to work hard at keeping it healthy and

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Speaker 2: positive and and not say anything bad about I didn't

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Speaker 2: if anyone, I would tell everyone in my home, do

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Speaker 2: not talk negatively about their dad, don't say a word.

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Speaker 2: But I I went overboard, actually to the point where

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Speaker 2: when things did go the way they did, they were shocked, like,

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Speaker 2: how come they didn't know this right? As got older,

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Speaker 2: But I that's what I wanted to do. I really

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Speaker 2: do feel like there is no handbook for all of this.

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Speaker 2: You have to do what's best for your situation. But

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Speaker 2: I do really encourage because a lot of parents also

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Speaker 2: asked me to how do I handle it and how

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Speaker 2: did I handle it? And the best thing I think

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Speaker 2: is to not say a thing negative. But if the

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Speaker 2: kids came to me and asked me, I would validate

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Speaker 2: their feelings. I understand why you feel that way, but

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Speaker 2: let's try to make things better or this. So in

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Speaker 2: the beginning, when we did the contract, which didn't last

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Speaker 2: very long, that was painful, and it was hard for

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Speaker 2: the whole holiday thing with the half a day.

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Speaker 3: What we just talked about.

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Speaker 2: And then when it got to a point where he

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Speaker 2: was gonna come over for Christmas, then you know, he

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Speaker 2: would come and see the kids, like at our house

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Speaker 2: for dinner, and we were able to be together with

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Speaker 2: the kids. That's when he was going through.

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Speaker 4: His other divorce, so that happens too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I found it harder when he was with someone

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Speaker 2: and then when they split. Even though I have a

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Speaker 2: good relationship with Brooke now, at the time when they

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Speaker 2: were together, it was not good. And when they split

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Speaker 2: then Charlie was wanting to it was okay for him

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Speaker 2: to come around me and be with kids and have

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Speaker 2: dinners and stuff like that. But then when he got

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Speaker 2: deep in his addiction and wasn't able to show up

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Speaker 2: for dinner or for Christmas, it was so painful for

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Speaker 2: the kids, and I would have to lie to them,

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Speaker 2: you know, and make up excuses why he wasn't there.

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Speaker 3: And I covered for him a lot. And I don't

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Speaker 3: know if that was the right thing to do.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like it was the right thing to do

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Speaker 1: for them, or just say he's going through something, he's

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Speaker 1: having an emotional time. It's fascinating to me that you

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Speaker 1: have a markedly more healthy relationship in co parenting than

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Speaker 1: I do. But mine is functional, but there are there's

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Speaker 1: no one size fits all, That's what we're trying to say,

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Speaker 1: you know, And there are different dynamics.

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Speaker 2: Mine when mine has gone through many phases. You can

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Speaker 2: down and up and down, and you just kind of

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Speaker 2: ride the wave of whatever period you're in, whether it's

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Speaker 2: what you're going through with your acts or what I

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Speaker 2: went through to and you know, sometimes still go through

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Speaker 2: even though our daughters are older.

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Speaker 1: Yes, in some cases the other person meets someone and

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Speaker 1: ends up being better because they become happy, and that's

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Speaker 1: so obsessed. And it's the one thing that you said

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Speaker 1: about the child, never saying a bad thing about the

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Speaker 1: other parent. It's critical because the first thing a judge

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Speaker 1: ever said to me on the first day I ever

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Speaker 1: met a judge, nine years before we get to you know,

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Speaker 1: ten years before we ended up resolving at all, said,

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Speaker 1: two parents fighting over the custody of a child is

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Speaker 1: like watching your child drown off a doc and you're

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Speaker 1: standing up there and they're begging for you to save them.

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Speaker 1: Like it's a very damaging thing. So it seems like

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Speaker 1: just the throwaway comments don't mean something. They're extremely confusing

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Speaker 1: and extremely damaging. I'm going to give point blank advice

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Speaker 1: that I think is true. You tell me what you think,

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Speaker 1: because you just brought up the Christmas day or the

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Speaker 1: Christmas morning, the Christmas night. I think it's terrible to

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Speaker 1: divide the holidays. I think it's a terrible idea.

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Speaker 2: I think to have the child do like Christmas Eve

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Speaker 2: sleepover and then leave Christmas Day it's jarring.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a.

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Speaker 1: Lot, right, Okay, So any divorce lawyer that suggests that

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Speaker 1: is a moron because they have to really strongly, strongly

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Speaker 1: advise against. What works for kids the most is consistency.

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Speaker 1: So what works for kids the most is like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this parent, parent A, has the children for Christmas.

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Speaker 4: As a whole holiday, eve end day.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how Christian you are, it doesn't matter how

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Speaker 1: important this is Christmas even day, and the other parent

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Speaker 1: on that particular year has them for New Year's the

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Speaker 1: next year. You both have the opposite experience. And my

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Speaker 1: solution to that, so you don't have your kid, your kid,

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Speaker 1: your three year old. You don't have your child on

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Speaker 1: Christmas Day and the pajamas and the presents whatever.

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Speaker 4: I would do fake Christmas. So I would figure out.

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Speaker 1: And I did it for Thanksgiving too, same thing with Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: It shouldn't be chop up the day. It's jarring for

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Speaker 1: the kids. It's weird and it's just yeah, they're dragging

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Speaker 1: their stuff. They can't relax. It's stressful. It should be

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Speaker 1: that like on the twenty first or the nineteenth or whatever,

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Speaker 1: I would do the whole thing, the Christmas tree.

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Speaker 4: We'd wake up. I would say we're gonna do it early.

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Speaker 4: Like you just tell the truth.

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Speaker 1: You don't say you know, you just Sanna is coming

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Speaker 1: here first, and we're going to do it early. This

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Speaker 1: is and it was the best thing I ever decided

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Speaker 1: to do, because otherwise you're just.

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Speaker 4: Crying and wallowing.

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Speaker 1: And it's good for you too, because then you get

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Speaker 1: to go away and live your own life when you're miserable.

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Speaker 2: Well, you're also even though you pretend like everything's okay

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Speaker 2: that day, the day they have to go to the

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Speaker 2: other parents, you know, in the morning or whatever, obviously

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Speaker 2: they're going to pick up on your emotions too. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so that's all you know. They are very intuitive, more

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Speaker 2: intuitive than we think. And yes, I definitely I agree

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Speaker 2: with you one thousand percent. If I could have done

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Speaker 2: it all over, I would do that where it was

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Speaker 2: the fake holiday and then just let them be.

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Speaker 3: With the other parent for the whole holiday.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And for some reason the schedule doesn't allow. It's

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Speaker 1: after I've had it be where we go to the

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Speaker 1: Hamptons after brings away and I haven't been with her

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Speaker 1: on Christmas and Sanna came to the Hamptons and dropped

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Speaker 1: all the gifts there. Like, you figure it out, but

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Speaker 1: you don't make yourself and your child miserable, because both will,

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Speaker 1: you know, feed off of each other, and that's why

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Speaker 1: I think people are so that's why this season is

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Speaker 1: so challenging, because the marketing of what it's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be on this day and you know what, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you do it on the twenty sixth, the twenty seventh,

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Speaker 1: or whenever the kid gets back to you, you can

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Speaker 1: get everything on sale, you know, like there are just

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Speaker 1: ways to place of yes, this and the same same

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Speaker 1: thing for Thanksgiving. I've done Thanksgiving on a Tuesday.

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Speaker 3: Right, No, that's what I think.

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Speaker 2: That is the healthiest and the best advice that you

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Speaker 2: and I could give any parent going through, especially a

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Speaker 2: toxic divorce where the parent you know, but there were

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Speaker 2: some Christmases that Charlie and Thanksgiving where he was with us.

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Speaker 2: If you have a healthy relationship with your ex and

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Speaker 2: you guys can all be together, that's wonderful. But if

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Speaker 2: you don't and you have to do these schedules, which

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Speaker 2: by the way, the lawyers don't want you to get

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Speaker 2: along because they make more money or your divorce goes

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Speaker 2: on the more money they make, that's the healthiest I

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Speaker 2: think too.

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Speaker 1: I agree, and I mean it doesn't mean it's not

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Speaker 1: going to be hard in the beginning.

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Speaker 4: It's exasperating.

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Speaker 1: And I would say when you're going through a divorce,

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Speaker 1: the idea is worse than the reality. The idea of

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Speaker 1: being away from your children. You just can't even believe it.

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Speaker 1: You feel like a terrible, disgusting person. You're a disgusting

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Speaker 1: mother that is going to like get a divorce and

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Speaker 1: not be with your kids. On certain days like what

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Speaker 1: kind of person are you? And you beat yourself up.

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Speaker 1: I once on Thanksgiving Day, I was alone. I went

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Speaker 1: into the ocean.

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Speaker 4: It was a it was a.

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Speaker 1: Warm day, but it wasn't it was November obviously, and

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Speaker 1: I was in the ocean and in the Hamptons. I

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Speaker 1: just was hysterically crying and I just needed to like

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Speaker 1: do something shocking for my body to like get myself

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Speaker 1: out of the depressed, sad slumber.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it's it's hard.

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Speaker 1: But you've got to proactively predict the emotions because they're

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Speaker 1: going to come. Like you've had you've done it enough

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Speaker 1: that you know. If you have the type person who

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Speaker 1: can be home and watch movies and do yoga and

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Speaker 1: you're happy you're sleeping, that's great. But if you're not,

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Speaker 1: and you're going to be in a deep depression. You

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Speaker 1: have to figure out what the hell you're going to

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Speaker 1: do with yourself. Go skiing, go walking, do something.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, because the holidays were so important in my family

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Speaker 2: and that was very, very hard for us.

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Speaker 3: So you know, it was hard.

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Speaker 2: It's hard, and I you and I agree with you

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Speaker 2: one thousand percent that is the best advice is to

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Speaker 2: do the alternating thing.

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Speaker 3: I think it's way harder splitting it.

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Speaker 1: It's funny because I'm thinking of also how like with schools,

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Speaker 1: you have to be communicative because it happens in the summer,

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Speaker 1: and it happens with camp and like you have to

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Speaker 1: make things work. You know, there aren't camps don't have

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Speaker 1: a divorce program. Like you want to sign up for

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Speaker 1: a camp, but they're going to miss two of the

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Speaker 1: days of the week because they're not going to be

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Speaker 1: with you and you're paying for this camp. Like those

359
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 1: are other times you have to make up creative situations

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Speaker 1: or different types of ways to handle that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and if it's on your ex's week where they

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Speaker 2: have certain activities and maybe he doesn't want to take

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Speaker 2: them to those activities and then he's like, well they're

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Speaker 2: missing those activities, And I think that's something that consistency

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Speaker 2: is the most important thing with kids and that they

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Speaker 2: stick with you know, what they're interested in and what

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Speaker 2: they're doing and hopefully it's.

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Speaker 3: All in all though it is I mean, it is.

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Speaker 2: Really difficult going through a divorce when you have a

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Speaker 2: toxic X or a toxic.

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Speaker 3: You know, divorce. It sucks, it's.

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Speaker 4: Nice, it's not easy.

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Speaker 1: And but you think about like I don't love traveling

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Speaker 1: a ton because I like to be home and I'm

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Speaker 1: a nester and I think you're a homebody too.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I like to stay home a lot too.

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Speaker 1: So think about your kids and the worries that they

378
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Speaker 1: have about the stuff and like keep that here because

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Speaker 1: that was expensive, and like you got like they're running

380
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Speaker 1: back and forth with a backpack full of stuff, like

381
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Speaker 1: they have to plan to travel every week. Think about that,

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Speaker 1: Like you know, they're worried about their special lip gloss

383
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 1: or their thing, you know, and they're going back and

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Speaker 1: forth and it's really hard on them. You try to

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Speaker 1: figure out how to make that easier. And you have

386
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Speaker 1: to be very organized with the calendar months in advance

387
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,119
Speaker 1: to try to see the board, see what you're going

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Speaker 1: to have, what's going to change. And try to figure

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Speaker 1: out even if you see them a little less fewer

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Speaker 1: transitions for them.

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Speaker 3: I agree.

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Speaker 2: And you know, a lot of people don't have the

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Speaker 2: luxury of having the money to have the same thing

394
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Speaker 2: in to different places, the same right to their stuff,

395
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Speaker 2: and they.

396
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Speaker 3: Do have to travel with all their clothes and all

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Speaker 3: their things.

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Speaker 2: They don't have the luxury of oh, okay, they've got

399
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 2: closed there, they've closed here. That's not realistic for a

400
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Speaker 2: lot of people. And a lot of people can't afford

401
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Speaker 2: a lawyer to go through even a schedule, and they're

402
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,960
Speaker 2: trying to figure out, how do we do this with

403
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 2: our divorce? Yeah, defensive, Yes, they can't pay to have

404
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,400
Speaker 2: someone continue to deal with the custody.

405
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 1: It's extremely expensive, that's true. And that's a business like.

406
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: That's a good like. That's why I talk about this

407
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Speaker 1: a lot because I to get you know, I got

408
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Speaker 1: custody of my daughter after a ten year battle primary custody,

409
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Speaker 1: and I had notebooks. I was very organized about everything

410
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 1: because it's a very long and tedious process. And if

411
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Speaker 1: you can't afford it, the one thing I will say

412
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 1: is find a way in the beginning to get somebody

413
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Speaker 1: that knows both of you to try and mediate, because

414
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 1: in the beginning, if you start doing damage, that damage

415
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: becomes rotten. It never goes away, and it keeps getting

416
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 1: layered on, and then you're arguing more because of things

417
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: that happened right before that, because of things that happen

418
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 1: right before that thing, Like it's not even about the

419
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 1: original thing or the reason you broke up. So that

420
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Speaker 1: and try to not break too many eggs, because usually

421
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: if you could agree upon something in the beginning or

422
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 1: find someone else to be involved, you'll end up going

423
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: back in circles and end up restarted. It's just hard

424
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Speaker 1: to see that when you're seeing red.

425
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Speaker 2: It's very hard, though, to have someone that you both know,

426
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:14,640
Speaker 2: that you're probably friends with to help mediate, because eventually

427
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,879
Speaker 2: that person will side with one or the other and

428
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 2: the other person will feel.

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Speaker 1: People only talk about the money with the prenup. The

430
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,199
Speaker 1: hardest part of a divorce is not the money. The

431
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 1: money you can figure out with a calculator, and in

432
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,359
Speaker 1: the worst cases, like I had a forensic account, the

433
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: custody and the children and the emotions is the worst thing,

434
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: and that's not something agreed upon ahead of time. So

435
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: it should be like I love you, honey, and we're

436
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: in a great place. If we break up, let's come

437
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: up with a fair situation that would go on with

438
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 1: our kids.

439
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 4: There should be a custody prenup.

440
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous, Okay, it's ridiculous that doesn't happen. There should

441
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: be a custody prenup. And in addition, this is the

442
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: person that is totally unbiased. It is a law is

443
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 1: a lawyer that will do this for us for free,

444
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: or an accountant or some business person that will just

445
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 1: step in right away if this doesn't go well and

446
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: they will help us.

447
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 3: Rationally want a prenup for custody.

448
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,640
Speaker 1: I know, but nobody does that, and no one's ever

449
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,120
Speaker 1: said that. I've never heard anyone say it money, but

450
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: no one's ever said that. So there should be some

451
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: service that is provided. I should start this out yet,

452
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,479
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, Like have it as

453
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 1: like this is a custody prenup. This is what is

454
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: suggested because in addition to the holidays all year round,

455
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 1: there are so many things that people do that are stupid.

456
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 1: Like I said, like a transition on a Sunday, a

457
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 1: kid goes from one parents to the other parents house,

458
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 1: then the next day they're getting up and going to school,

459
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,880
Speaker 1: so like it's jarring for the one parent that had

460
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: the kid, Like they can't make any real plans. All

461
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 1: day you're thinking about the transfer. Where transfers should flow.

462
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 1: It should flow through the school. The kid gets dropped

463
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: off at the school by one parent, gets picked up

464
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 1: by another. Nobody knows anything happened, Nobody hates each other.

465
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: It's all through the school or the camp or that

466
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 1: kind of activity.

467
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 2: I'll never forget when my mom was in the hospital

468
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: before she passed away. I was down in San Diego

469
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 2: for three weeks and the first week, the Wednesday was

470
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 2: missed and I was like, okay, Then it became two

471
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 2: more weeks, and I'll never forget my lawyer at the

472
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 2: time telling me you can't use the uh the dying

473
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 2: card because I said my mom's passing away. He goes, wow,

474
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 2: she could die three months from now, and I was like,

475
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 2: are you fucking kidding me?

476
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 4: Right died.

477
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,199
Speaker 2: A week later because it was like he had to

478
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 2: get I'm like, I can't drive my kids up from

479
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 2: San Diego to Los Angeles leave my mom if she

480
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 2: passed away.

481
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 3: I will never.

482
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 2: Forgive myself Oh my god. They were going to send

483
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 2: a driver, and I said, I'm not going to send

484
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 2: a two and three year old with a strange man

485
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 2: in a car for three hours.

486
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 3: No fucking way.

487
00:23:58,960 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 4: I had the same I had.

488
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 2: If he wants to see the kids, he can drive

489
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 2: his ass down, pick them up, and drive back.

490
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 3: I'm not doing it.

491
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,479
Speaker 1: Oh right, But you started to fear. I was threatened

492
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 1: that I'd be arrested if I didn't transfer. I start

493
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 1: to fear because it's not real.

494
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 2: Though. It's because if I didn't do Bill, then I

495
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 2: would be fucked.

496
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,880
Speaker 4: But it's not real, is what I'm trying to say.

497
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 4: So I was afraid. It's not real.

498
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: I was afraid that I was going to be arrested

499
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 1: because it was told to the courts that like, because

500
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 1: my daughter did was traumatized during the pandemic and would

501
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: not transfer. What I mean, I'm not going to get

502
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: into the details, but it was it was traumatic details

503
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: of her not willing to transfer. And I was biting

504
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 1: my nails off because I my lawyers said, throw her

505
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 1: in the just put her in the car. You just

506
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,959
Speaker 1: got decision making drag her. I don't care put her

507
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 1: in the car. Aren't you the mother does it? You're eleven,

508
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: I go, you fucking crazy. My daughter's brain has hives, hyperventilating,

509
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 1: I cannot throw And but I was genuinely scared I

510
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 1: was going to be like arrested at my house in

511
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,959
Speaker 1: the hand. It's like I and the judges are not

512
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 1: like that, Like they're not thinking of every piece of

513
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: minutia and drama, and it would have to be a

514
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: lot to take me coming to get arrested.

515
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 4: But you still just don't know.

516
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 1: Somebody could call the cops on you and you could

517
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: get around. So I was like exasperated the whole pandemic,

518
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 1: which is what ended up leading up to this. I mean,

519
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: she had a guardian ad LTAM, which is her own lawyer,

520
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 1: to fight for herself, and it was insane. But things

521
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: like that, you're not rational. You're listening to lawyers saying wait.

522
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: So I would try to literally pull my daughter by

523
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 1: the arm to put her on a cargo and transform

524
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: like this cannot be right, Like this is.

525
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 4: Not me being a good parent.

526
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 1: But when something's to the letter of the law, you're

527
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: scared of it, Like I know it's used to threaten you,

528
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 1: and it's not the way that these contracts are designed.

529
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 1: They're designed to aid the child, and for anyone going

530
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: through this, I strongly suggest you get a therapist involved.

531
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: And some of you might say that you have to

532
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 1: have both parents to agree that a therapist can be involved,

533
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: and this.

534
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 3: Is that's true.

535
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: Sometimes it is, but I've never said, I mean, I've

536
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: never seen a judge be upset at a child talking

537
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,400
Speaker 1: to a mental health professional.

538
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:14,199
Speaker 3: But something of the money to go to get to

539
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,360
Speaker 3: a judge.

540
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 4: That's no, that's true about a judge and.

541
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 2: Both signatures of both parents. And that's true too, to

542
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,640
Speaker 2: even go to a lawyer did.

543
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 1: But then use your school resources, use the school psychologists,

544
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 1: use the school guidance counselor. A child has to have

545
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 1: a place to use their voice. And as a parent,

546
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 1: you it can't be what you're saying. It'st the other parent,

547
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: because that's not a judge or any any being or

548
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: society is interested in the child's needs. So have places

549
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: for your child to speak freely, like if you can't

550
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: afford it, like I said, a guidance counselor someone at school, like,

551
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: we have to use our resources and it's not embarrassing,

552
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: and there are people there to talk to even teachers

553
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 1: or great advocates, like if kids are heard by an adult,

554
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 1: that's better received from a judge then a parent saying

555
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: something about the other parent a third party is a

556
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: great idea.

557
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 3: No, I agree with you one thousand percent.

558
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny because you said how you had the

559
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: holidays as a kid, and I think that we get

560
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: caught up in that too, because for me, like I

561
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,479
Speaker 1: have certain memories, it was the only really sane and

562
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: like meaningful time in my childhood. And as an adult

563
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: we're breathless, feeling like we're falling short or it didn't

564
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 1: live up to the expectations of our childhoods, and it's

565
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: like we were kids, so Christmas had a different meaning

566
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: than being a responsible adult. But like you kind of

567
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 1: want to have that with your child and give that

568
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: to them, and it gets depressing when it's not like that.

569
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 3: It does. I'll never forget.

570
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 2: One of the best pieces of advice my mom gave

571
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 2: me before she passed was she said, you have to

572
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 2: let build the white pick at best.

573
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 3: Wow, your kids are.

574
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 2: Growing up very differently than you did. Because I so

575
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 2: badly wanted to hang on to the small town, but

576
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 2: I lived in la Wow.

577
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 3: Very different with pop Rozzi.

578
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 2: I was married to someone very famous and lived in

579
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 2: a very big house and had.

580
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 3: A lot more money than we did when I was

581
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 3: growing up.

582
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 2: And she's like, you've got to let go bit And

583
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 2: that was like such good advice for me, because I

584
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 2: wanted everything to be perfect, like the perfect family of

585
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 2: how I grew up, and it was just very different.

586
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 4: That's so funny.

587
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's where all that stuff, like the fake

588
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: Christmas and the other things come through. And I try

589
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: to make things meaningful, but it's a new meaning and

590
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 1: it's new traditions.

591
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 3: You know.

592
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 1: I have my own traditions with my daughter that are

593
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: different and something even as silly as like on you know,

594
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to ever miss Christmas morning in a

595
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: place that like feels like cold to her, like that's

596
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: a thing. And we were talking about going and driving

597
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: out to Long Island to go to this our house,

598
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: and she was like, Okay, mommy, can we just drive

599
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: ourselves in the morning because we sometimes have someone drive us.

600
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 4: I mean I have a driver, that's the truth.

601
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: So that we would wake up in the morning and

602
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: like can we go in our pajamas and can we

603
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: go so there's a Starbucks open, and can we drive

604
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: out there on our own? Like whatever this little thing is,

605
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: it'll be a new tradition, like this us in pajamas

606
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: getting in the car and this little road trip. Like

607
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: she likes these kids especially, I think in divorces like

608
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: to cling on to individual traditions and memories with their parents,

609
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: and I think it's just important to create them, and

610
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how small or big.

611
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 4: Like we have one.

612
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: Where we go to this special ornament store and we

613
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: each pick out an ornament that reminds us of the

614
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 1: other person, and like it's just an ornament store, it's

615
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: just it, but it's a thing that we now do.

616
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: And like so those small things do really have a

617
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: lot of meaning.

618
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 3: They do.

619
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 2: Whenever the girls and I travel, I always will get

620
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 2: an ornament from that place.

621
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 4: Mm hm same that, no, so that we.

622
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 2: Always have that for the tree when we you know,

623
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 2: in each place we get something different that represents the

624
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 2: place that where we were at.

625
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 3: And then when they were younger, we always would do cookies.

626
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 3: Baking cookies was huge for us.

627
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 1: And when you decorate the tree, you see those ornaments, Yeah,

628
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 1: can you remind it?

629
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

630
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 2: And it's nice and it's special for them, and you know,

631
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 2: when they're older, they'll be able to take those with them,

632
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

633
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 3: So it's nice.

634
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: And do you do how what will your Christmas and

635
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 1: New Year's look like? Because when we talked on the phone,

636
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 1: you were a little like, I don't know.

637
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 2: You know, you should go to Montana every Christmas and

638
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 2: we love being in the snow, and my sister lives

639
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 2: there with her boys.

640
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 3: But this year, I think we're going to stay in.

641
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 4: La And just who's going to be with you?

642
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 3: It's going to be just small.

643
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 2: It'll be my in laws are here and my dad

644
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 2: will spend it with him, and you know, just be

645
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 2: just us.

646
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: And where will the kids be this year? Like what

647
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 1: happens with them as older kids?

648
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 3: Oh, they'll they'll be with with me.

649
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 4: Oh okay, they will be with you.

650
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 3: You know. Maybe their dad's will always welcome to come.

651
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 2: So it's it's a few weeks out, so for him

652
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 2: it's years away.

653
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 1: We'll see, yeah, And what about the presence and the

654
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 1: pressure of presents, like, how did you how did you

655
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: deal with that? You know?

656
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 2: Okay, So they're the older girls are eighteen and nineteen,

657
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: so it's different from them than Eloise. They go through

658
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 2: a phase where you know they want, where you feel

659
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: like you have to get them every single thing they

660
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 2: want or try to or try to make things good.

661
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 2: And now that they're older though, it's you know, one

662
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 2: or two, just something special that they really want.

663
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 3: I don't go overboard with the presence.

664
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 1: And since you grew up in a small town with

665
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: a normal pick of fence childhood when they were younger,

666
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: how did you deal with the pressure of the Hollywood

667
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 1: gifts and the expensive stuff?

668
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 3: And like, oh, I went nuts with Christmas?

669
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 4: You did.

670
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: My dad was like, you are doing what you wanted

671
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 3: as a kid.

672
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: Interesting and you didn't feel bad about it, like you

673
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: love doing it?

674
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I you know, it was crazy. I went overboard.

675
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: But I remember Sammy was the one that was starting

676
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: to not believe in Santa much earlier than Lola. She's like,

677
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 2: I just don't understand how he goes through that chimney.

678
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: How does he fit And why why wouldn't you open

679
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: the front door because that's just where he goes.

680
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: And actually, I think coming from a sleigh because I

681
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: do believe in Santa Claus, it's easier to just like

682
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: park the sleigh mid air and just jump down a chimney.

683
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 3: It makes sense to me about Santa and stuff on him.

684
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: No you can't, I mean you can't. I mean I

685
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: believe in Santa. You can say whatever you want. You

686
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: were saying somebody didn't believe in Santa. I realized earlier

687
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:00,719
Speaker 1: and then what so what was that?

688
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 3: So?

689
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 4: What happened after that? As a result, I.

690
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 2: Was able to show a picture of Santa like bent

691
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 2: over dropping the presence off.

692
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,479
Speaker 4: Oh okay, got it? Got it?

693
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 3: Well?

694
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 1: I would say that for me with the presence from me,

695
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: and year round this happens. I really try to hold

696
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: the reins because there's so many experiences that we do together,

697
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: like you know, even it's going to the jingle Ball

698
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: and meeting celebrities, or we're going to Australia because I'm

699
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: doing an appearance or all that stuff. She has a

700
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: life that I'm always like, your life is, it's ridiculous.

701
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: So I try to be to I try to like

702
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: limit the purchases, and she has to. If she wants something,

703
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: she has a dude's get you know, earn it.

704
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 4: But also.

705
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: If she wants new things, she has to get rid

706
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 1: of things, like it's like an in and out, so

707
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 1: then things really have value. And I'm really diligent about

708
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: that because I want to keep control of this program

709
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,479
Speaker 1: because you know, it's hard to I didn't grow up

710
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: that way either.

711
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 4: Like my daughter.

712
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: You know, if there's like a breakout or something, she

713
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: can get a facial to clean her face. People can't afford,

714
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,760
Speaker 1: you know, to do that, and they just get actne

715
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,399
Speaker 1: have to like cry and suffer emotionally. She just has

716
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: access to a lot, which so I indulge that, or

717
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: like a tutor. I find that being able to have

718
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: a tutor or go to a dermatologist, those are luxuries,

719
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 1: but like buying everything you want, I really try to

720
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: control it because it's like she goes to a rich

721
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 1: school with rich kids, and many of them have a

722
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: lot more stuff. The do you or blush and all

723
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: the makeup, and I'm just like, what the hell?

724
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 3: You know?

725
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 1: The Prada and I'm like, I'm not going down that road.

726
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: I mean, and one day it will happen on her own,

727
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: because that's they do what they want, I guess, but

728
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: for now I try to really control that beast.

729
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 3: How old is she again?

730
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 4: She's thirteen?

731
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 3: Thirteen.

732
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 4: Oh boy, Yeah, it's when it starts.

733
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 3: Saw a couple of tough years.

734
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

735
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: And the other thing I'll do, which is a dirty

736
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 1: secret that parents can listen to. If there is a

737
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 1: gift that she's gotten in the past. Let's say it

738
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 1: was a birthday or Christmas, and like, I see it

739
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 1: still in the box that like she never touched it

740
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: or used it. I'll wrap it up and give it

741
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: to someone else. Or I'll wrap it up and give

742
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: it to her again because she probably forgot about it.

743
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: I'll wrap up the same game because I'm not like

744
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: she it could be a year and she hasn't seen it.

745
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, what about this art set that we were

746
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 1: so excited about and that we need. So it's like

747
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: we'll give it. She won't even remember. I hope when

748
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 1: don't listen to this podcast. But yeah, because I but

749
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 1: your podcast. No, but some of her friends at school

750
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 1: do some of her I seem to.

751
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 2: Still with that part of it, like the celebrity part

752
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:33,919
Speaker 2: with you and your daughter.

753
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: It's really sheltered in the sense that she hasn't watched

754
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: She's watched like clips of the Housewise, they don't watch

755
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:43,440
Speaker 1: TV on TVs. They watch it on their phone, so

756
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: she's seeing clips and she finds it. She finds it

757
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 1: trashy and embarrassing. That's her right, not a judge. She's

758
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: just like, I don't think it's I don't want you

759
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: to do it. I find it trashy and embarrassing. So

760
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 1: that's something just to note. So she finds it trashy

761
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: and embarrassing. And then I don't really go out that much,

762
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 1: so it's not like we're on carpets.

763
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 3: You know.

764
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 4: The jingle ball is a very rare, actually.

765
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 2: Very You're in the media a lot, and you're on

766
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 2: social media a lot.

767
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 3: How does she deal with that part?

768
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: Yes, the TikTok she sees, and the Instagram she sees.

769
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 1: The media she doesn't see because she doesn't have a

770
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 1: Google alert. I mean, she doesn't look for it. She

771
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,919
Speaker 1: probably has looked for stuff about our divorce and read

772
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 1: up on that, but she doesn't really like Google me

773
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 1: because I know her, she's the type person to say, wait,

774
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 1: what about that? But she sees the social media posts,

775
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: and you know, I think, I don't really think about

776
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: it that much. But I just having a daughter that's

777
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 1: thirteen has informed my decisions as to what I talk

778
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 1: about and say, I'm it's the way that I say it,

779
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: which I could have used in my life anyway. So

780
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: I've changed a lot the way that I say things

781
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,720
Speaker 1: like not everything needs to be said, and if something

782
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: that you really want to talk about you think people

783
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: will relate to, it's the way that you say it, definitely,

784
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: you know, as a very outspoken person.

785
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,399
Speaker 3: I think it gets fifteen sixteen.

786
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:04,800
Speaker 2: It'll shift with that too, where she'll be more aware

787
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 2: of the stuff with you, shifted with me with the

788
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:09,760
Speaker 2: older girls.

789
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 4: You're right, and now it's that line.

790
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 2: Of your career and being a mom and being in

791
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 2: the public.

792
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,800
Speaker 3: It's so strange. It's hard.

793
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

794
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: I mean, like she knows when we're at a restaurant,

795
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 1: I mean we get stopped a lot, but it's so

796
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 1: friendly and the people are so nice and it's not

797
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 1: like crazy. But she got recognized without me. The other

798
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: day She's like, Mom, I got recognized, and you know

799
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:33,240
Speaker 1: what to be properly.

800
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 4: I like like that little tiny.

801
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,919
Speaker 1: Version of it for her because it's a little fun

802
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: like she's not you know, Stock, she's not Northwest, you know,

803
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,360
Speaker 1: but it's sort of like a little bit of a

804
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: light and the fact that people that she's known, you know,

805
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: to be honest, I realized that she'll have she'll be

806
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 1: a little bit of a nepple baby and have a

807
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: little bit of a leg up. And you know, it's

808
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: okay to have a leg up in life, like, but

809
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 1: I don't want her to bask in it or live

810
00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: in it. It's just like she dips her toe in it.

811
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, what do you think about that? With

812
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 1: the with the girls and like they do they are

813
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 1: they famous? Are they sort of famous?

814
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 3: Uh?

815
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,479
Speaker 2: I would say Sammy gets recognized more than Lola because

816
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: Sammy's out there more than she is, right, but they

817
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: they get uncomfortable with paparazzi recognizing them, you know, if

818
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 2: they feel if they're in like a sweatshirt or something,

819
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 2: or like, I don't look funny.

820
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 3: That age that.

821
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 2: Those few years of where they're you know, a teenager

822
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 2: and want to look a certain way. Prior to that,

823
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 2: when they were with their some of their girlfriends, their

824
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 2: friends would be like crazy in front of paparazzi and

825
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,479
Speaker 2: jump up and down and do things and they would

826
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, don't don't say anything or whatever.

827
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 2: They they were so used to it because since they

828
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 2: were babies, they've had been around paparazzi.

829
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 3: They grew up with it, but being more aware of.

830
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,839
Speaker 2: It as they've gotten older and what their parents do,

831
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 2: it's a little different.

832
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 3: But I think that.

833
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: They I would say, both of them. I could see

834
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 2: them both be in front of the camera. Sammy ironically,

835
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 2: she actually would love to do like directing or you know,

836
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 2: something like that.

837
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 3: But it's it's strange.

838
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 2: I think it's a strange thing when they do get

839
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 2: recognized on their own without a parent with.

840
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 1: The right and you know, it's funny because like Bryn

841
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 1: last year said, oh, they took my picture alone mama,

842
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 1: like on the you know, and it showed up somewhere

843
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: and she loves when, you know. She said, they said,

844
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: oh Brinn brought her mom to the party, you know,

845
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 1: and I like that for her.

846
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 3: I think that makes them feel good.

847
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: Yes, it's all about you, It's all about Denise Richards.

848
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 2: Yes, that's I agree that that's the thing that I

849
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 2: was going to ask too. And when your daughter gets

850
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 2: to be around fifteen sixteen, it's a hard thing for daughters,

851
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 2: especially with moms with kids wanting to get to know

852
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 2: them because of who their mom is or boys.

853
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 4: Oh by the way, I see.

854
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: Oh, she had a friend that would be over here

855
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,399
Speaker 1: and always wanted to be in the room where I

856
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,240
Speaker 1: was and wanted to talk to me about the makeup

857
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: and my hair, Like I felt like I was with

858
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 1: the pier, like asking me about my clothes and my fashion.

859
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 1: It felt uncomfortable because it's like, I don't think a

860
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: kid should be talking about Dior and like we're on

861
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 1: the same level, like, oh my god, I have pants

862
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 1: like that, Like I'm fifty three years old, Like you

863
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mus supposed to be wearing

864
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 1: or buying or affording the same things you do. So yeah,

865
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 1: it's a thing at their age, for sure, and it's

866
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: what we do for a living. You can't apologize for that.

867
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: But you want to be aware that you're the center

868
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 1: of attention in many cases, so you want to balance

869
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: that out, I think, but not be overcompensated about it.

870
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 1: Sometimes it gets too crazy where it's like this is

871
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: how we pay the bills around here, right, you know,

872
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: this is how your kids you afforded their lifestyle, so exact,

873
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: you got to ride that line.

874
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,240
Speaker 4: I think it is a fine line, though it's hard

875
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 4: it is hard.

876
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 3: Don't see it more when she gets a little bit older.

877
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 4: I know, I'm interested to see what that's going to

878
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 4: be like.

879
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, especially boys. Oh really oh with the book?

880
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: Oh right, yeah yeah. I'm not looking for her to

881
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 1: be used by anybody about this either.

882
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 3: No, but you know what I'm saying. It's like when

883
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 3: it's weird for a boy to say something.

884
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 4: About oh the mom.

885
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 3: Yes, and it's like a little teenager weird.

886
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 4: Yes, that's funny.

887
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, because some of her friend boyfriends like hanging out.

888
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get exactly. I'd picking up what you're putting down. Amazing.

889
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 1: Wow, Well this was awesome. The last thing, the only

890
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 1: thing I'll say is don't get caught up in the minutia.

891
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 1: Meet people are very tempted to constantly be in the

892
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: weeds about everything, and it's not important.

893
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 4: It just it takes away. It crushes your soul.

894
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 1: And if you are in a legal battle, the judge

895
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 1: and the lawyers, nobody cares about the minutia. They'll take

896
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: your money and your emails about it that you're paying for.

897
00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: But don't get caught up in every little thing that's

898
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: some one did. Because there are kids that are really

899
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: being abused in the world, and judges don't care about

900
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 1: every little piece of information that we want to give them,

901
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:10,280
Speaker 1: or lawyers.

902
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,320
Speaker 2: And it becomes about that, and you miss the moments. Yes,

903
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 2: don't miss the moments with the kids.

904
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. And it goes so quickly, so fast.

905
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 1: Yes, when they're little, you think that the time is

906
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: the most important thing, when in fact they're emotional well being.

907
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: The decisions, the religion, the school, the camps, the real

908
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: medical those decisions are more important than the time. And

909
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: when they get to be a certain age, they're spending

910
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 1: all their time with their friends and at school. So

911
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: you were worried and fighting about every hour and every day,

912
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: and it's going to become less and less important.

913
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 4: Sad.

914
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 2: I think one of the best gifts you can give

915
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 2: your kids is time. So the time you are spending together,

916
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 2: don't spend that time fighting with the.

917
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 4: X exactly on your phone you're.

918
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 2: Doing all this shit, because that's the stuff that is

919
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 2: it goes so fast beyond.

920
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 1: That's a great that's a great note. Try to be present,

921
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,399
Speaker 1: not be on the phone at the time. And it's true,

922
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 1: it's true. And the last thing I'll just say is,

923
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 1: like people fall into hating their ex more than they

924
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: love their kids.

925
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 4: Do not fall in that trap the kids first.

926
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 3: I always say to Charlie, just pretend.

927
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,280
Speaker 2: If the times were it was so hostile with us,

928
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 2: I said, just pretend for them, Just do it for them. Nice,

929
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 2: get us, it's about let's do this for them. They

930
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 2: didn't ask me in a split family, right, you know,

931
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 2: he didn't come from divorced parents. I didn't either, right,

932
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 2: So I said, I couldn't imagine.

933
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 3: Having to go back and forth. We didn't grow up.

934
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,240
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Yeah, you know. So, yeah, that's.

935
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 3: One of the things that I would always ask him

936
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 3: to do.

937
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 4: Yeah.

938
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 1: Brooke Burke was the first person who ever told me

939
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: about that. When she was with David Charvey. She used

940
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 1: to say, the kids would come back from the other

941
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 1: house and like they'd be like maybe like a transitional day.

942
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: Everybody's was like, you messed up on that, And I

943
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 1: didn't understand because I hadn't gone through it.

944
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 4: And not until you go through it do you realize.

945
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: It's tough times, but you can get through them and

946
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,320
Speaker 1: you can be present and it's something to survive.

947
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 4: But it's it's all about the kids, You're right, So Denise,

948
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 4: I love you.

949
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: You're so amazing and I'm still waiting to have our

950
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: time together where.

951
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 4: You interview me, I can interview you. And when I

952
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 4: get a plane and then I'm going on vacation with

953
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 4: you and Charlie. So I've got a lot to look

954
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 4: forward to. I'm going on a family vacation.

955
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 3: Yes, we're going to go on a family vacation.

956
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:31,240
Speaker 4: Amazing.

957
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: I will have the most beautiful holiday.

958
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 4: I had such a good time with you. It was great.

959
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 4: I appreciate you so much.

960
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 3: Thank you you too.

961
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,879
Speaker 4: Awesome. Tell Aaron, I said, Hills love bye you too.

962
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:42,439
Speaker 3: Bye Hone