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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast

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Speaker 1: build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

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Speaker 2: Welcome into Unbreakable mental Wealth Podcast.

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Speaker 3: With Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 2: I'm Jay Glazer, and man, I got somebody from the

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Speaker 2: world of wrestling here who is royalty, his family's royalty.

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Speaker 2: It's been through it a lot, and I love to

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Speaker 2: have dudes don who are who are bad ass tough

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Speaker 2: guys who know how to be vulnerable Because anybody questioned

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Speaker 2: our man ud with that one to bring in a

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Speaker 2: long time, many times champion several different promotions.

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Speaker 3: Uh, the one and only Dustin Rhodes. How are you, brother?

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Speaker 4: I am great, buddy, Thank you for having me on.

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Speaker 3: Man, absolutely man, pleasure to have you on, Dude.

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Speaker 2: I love having some of the old school guys on too,

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Speaker 2: because all of us, like in the old school, right,

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Speaker 2: we had a certain way of coming across, like we

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Speaker 2: got to be so fucking tough and man, all this

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Speaker 2: shit and now everybody's kind of learning to be vulnerable

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Speaker 2: and it's it's turned and I think guys who are

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Speaker 2: friends with and.

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Speaker 3: Are brothers, you know what I mean? Yes, yeah, we

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Speaker 3: never thought about this back in the day.

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Speaker 5: I always say this, you know, without the old school,

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Speaker 5: there's none of this new school stuff. But you got

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Speaker 5: to learn it somewhere and you go through it. And

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Speaker 5: the new kids today, you know, they're like, well what

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Speaker 5: do you mean. I'm like, brother, we went through hell.

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Speaker 5: I don't think provide what we went through, you know,

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Speaker 5: And it's just it was a tough business. But now

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Speaker 5: they're all playing video games and stand Out of Truck.

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Speaker 3: Which is way better, no doubt. Yeah, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 3: there's look I think for us too, like our like

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't have a break about my success and I

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Speaker 2: break about my pain and my scars.

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Speaker 3: That's my equity.

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Speaker 2: No, And that pain that we all went through back

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Speaker 2: in the day. I think we got to go through pain.

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Speaker 2: Whether it's pain so you could be a great wrestler,

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Speaker 2: I could be a great fighter or football pronouncer or

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Speaker 2: coach or something like that. Or for pain that we

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Speaker 2: have to go through, well we could help others get

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Speaker 2: out of there emotionally, you know.

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Speaker 4: I think that's very important man.

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Speaker 5: And I see it a lot on X people just

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Speaker 5: reaching out saying you really have helped me with your

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Speaker 5: positive messages and things. And I used to not be

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Speaker 5: like that an asshole on Twitter, you know, and it

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Speaker 5: just I just I said, you know, why am I

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Speaker 5: doing this? It's already as sessful. It's a great tool,

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Speaker 5: it's free, but it's it's it's just bad. So I

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Speaker 5: just know I'm putting out positive messages and it's actually

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Speaker 5: helping a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: So you know what was your turning point? Because I

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Speaker 2: did the same thing three years ago. I was I

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Speaker 2: was coming out with a book called Unbreakable How I

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Speaker 2: turned my depression, anxiety and the motivation and you can't too.

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Speaker 3: And I saw that that was in the pages of

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Speaker 3: the book could really help people.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, well, funk, I don't want to

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Speaker 2: wait for the book then I help people, because that's

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Speaker 2: that's bullshit.

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Speaker 3: It's just me doing something, you know, for the money.

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Speaker 3: I'm not doing that. So I'm going to start using

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Speaker 3: social media, start coming out with my ship now.

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Speaker 2: And I was petrified, right because social media is like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you don't need to have clinical depression, anxiety and bipolar

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Speaker 2: and ADHD like I do to go through some shit

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Speaker 2: because as you said, X is assessed pool and you know,

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Speaker 2: Instagram and Facebook is highlighted like filtered highlights.

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Speaker 3: Of your dates.

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Speaker 2: How fuck are we supposed to survive that? We all

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Speaker 2: feel left out? But I went on and I said,

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Speaker 2: this is really I took my mask off. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: this is what I really have. The lappy joke, you

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Speaker 2: guy you see on Ballers and Fox Vil Sunday, and

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Speaker 2: it's just a mask.

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Speaker 3: This is who I really am. And if you feel

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Speaker 3: the same.

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Speaker 2: Thing, I hope I can give it words and leave

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Speaker 2: comments down below. And if you got to see comments

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Speaker 2: for somebody else struggling, let's.

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Speaker 3: Lift them up.

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Speaker 2: And I tell teams this all the time now too,

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Speaker 2: because people are like, I can't open up. Within two minutes,

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Speaker 2: there's a guy named Mercedes Lewis who's still playing in

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Speaker 2: the NFL.

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Speaker 3: He said his nineteenth year.

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Speaker 2: I started training Mercedes and mixed martial arts seventeen years ago.

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Speaker 3: And within two minutes he calls me and says, coach,

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Speaker 3: I saw your post.

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Speaker 2: I knew you were crazy and that's a badge of

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Speaker 2: honor in football fighting, but I didn't know when you're

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Speaker 2: in pain. I'm sorry, Yeah, I got And he has

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Speaker 2: called me three times a week every week just to

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Speaker 2: check up with me. What was your tipping point to

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Speaker 2: say I'm going to now, I mean, I'm I'm going

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Speaker 2: to do something to just.

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Speaker 3: Jump in and start helping people with a message on X.

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure what the tipping point was.

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Speaker 5: I just noticed that I was just pretty uh negative

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Speaker 5: or you know, in between me promoting stuff or whatever,

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Speaker 5: and then it just you know, it's like it's not

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Speaker 5: doing any good because everybody has some form of depression.

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Speaker 5: Everybody's got their downtimes in life, right, everybody has problems.

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Speaker 5: There's not anybody that's uh that's perfect, and we all

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Speaker 5: have our issues. And I just thought, you know, my

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Speaker 5: dad used to say when I came out of rehab,

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Speaker 5: he would say this. Every day we say are you

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Speaker 5: working your program? Are you you know? I need you

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Speaker 5: to keep stepping And he would call me every day

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Speaker 5: and say that. So that's like my motto. It's more

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Speaker 5: than just a motto. It's something he gave me and

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Speaker 5: it helped me kind of see. You know, I'm going

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Speaker 5: I went through this and survived it, and you know,

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Speaker 5: this is the message he's given me to keep working

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Speaker 5: my program and stay clean and sober, and it's worked.

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Speaker 4: You have your little circle of people at the AA

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Speaker 4: for a couple of years solid, and that kept me

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Speaker 4: from you know, kind of sliding back into the depths

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Speaker 4: of hell. I like call it. And it just worked,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 5: And for rehab people, they usually go in two or

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Speaker 5: three times, right, or four or five or six A

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Speaker 5: lot of people do. And it just worked for me.

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Speaker 5: Of course, that devil's right here on my shoulder, and

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Speaker 5: all as I have to do it turn around, grab

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Speaker 5: his hand, go for a walk, and I'm back to

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Speaker 5: where I was or dead, and I don't want that.

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Speaker 5: So I just I made this decision to keep myself clean,

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Speaker 5: you know.

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Speaker 4: On this and I'm depressed.

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Speaker 5: I'm on antidepressants, and I've been depressed my whole life,

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Speaker 5: gone through some childhood trauma, some abuse, you know, things

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Speaker 5: like that, and it just it does affect you as

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Speaker 5: you grow older. But all those things have taught me

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Speaker 5: very valuable lessons. All the failures, the falling down and

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Speaker 5: getting back up, you know, they've taught me valuable blessings

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Speaker 5: of what not to do and how to remain on

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Speaker 5: this straight and narrow path that I'm on right now.

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Speaker 5: And yeah, I fail every day and I fall down

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Speaker 5: and it sucks, and I revert back to some negative

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Speaker 5: shit in my life, and you know, it's no good.

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Speaker 5: But I believe in God and I pray daily. I

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Speaker 5: just keep working my program. And you know, if I

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Speaker 5: pray to him and give it to him every single day,

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Speaker 5: it usually helps my day. So that is something that

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Speaker 5: I really believe in every single day, is to reach

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Speaker 5: out to him and talk to him and just try

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Speaker 5: to stay the course for today. Because it's a daily thing.

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Speaker 5: It's a minute thing. For some people, it's tough.

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Speaker 4: But I'm glad.

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Speaker 5: I'm on the other side with sixteen years clean and sober,

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Speaker 5: and that's amazing to me to say that.

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Speaker 4: That's a long fucking time. But you know, and I

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Speaker 4: lost everything, right, if I can talk about that for

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Speaker 4: just a second.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 5: You know, in the beginning, after the matches and stuff

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Speaker 5: like that, we drink beer, have fun, drink beer. You know,

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Speaker 5: it's good to have some cold beer or whatever. And

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Speaker 5: then that just turned into you know, there's an injury

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Speaker 5: and start taking painkillers vicodin like you were talking about,

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Speaker 5: and then pretty soon, you know, my.

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Speaker 4: World is a mess. I've gained weight.

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Speaker 5: I don't think I have any problems, and I'm sixty

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Speaker 5: pills in a day on a vodka a day, an

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Speaker 5: eight ball every three days of cocaine, and it was

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Speaker 5: just a mess. And I didn't give a shit about anything, anybody, nothing.

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Speaker 5: I didn't give a shit about life. I tried to

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Speaker 5: kill myself twice, thank god I did not. They were

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Speaker 5: very rough sad moments and days. And I think what

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Speaker 5: did it to me is at divine intervention. I went

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Speaker 5: on a three day benz Man and it was I

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Speaker 5: ran out of pills. I got drunk. I used to

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Speaker 5: drink beer every day. You know, I didn't have money

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Speaker 5: for alcohol. I lost everything. I lived in a room

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Speaker 5: about as big as this office. That's how bad my

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Speaker 5: life had gotten. And my wife had been through a

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Speaker 5: few years with me of that stuff.

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Speaker 4: And she wasn't an alcoholic or a drug addict.

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Speaker 5: But she also kept her distance with saying you need

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Speaker 5: to go get help, because when people say that, it

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Speaker 5: has the opposite effect on the attic. Oh no, I

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Speaker 5: don't need help. I'm going to take more right now

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Speaker 5: because you said that. And she didn't do that. She

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Speaker 5: was there and she witnessed a lot of it. And

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Speaker 5: I think after the third day of me just being

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Speaker 5: fucked up, I was drunk out of my mind, I

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Speaker 5: couldn't and I don't get drunk. I wouldn't get drunk.

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Speaker 5: I drink vodka all day long, take pills, all that stuff.

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Speaker 5: But I was actually I couldn't walk, and you know

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Speaker 5: the old thing of well, can't walk, so let me

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Speaker 5: just drink a couple of drinks and try to level out.

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Speaker 5: It didn't work. It just kept me like that in

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Speaker 5: that state for three days. And the third day, you know,

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Speaker 5: after taking vicodins, xanax, coke, alcohol.

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Speaker 4: Every thing, I woke up at two in the morning.

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Speaker 5: And you know, my dad, he had purchased me a

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Speaker 5: prepaid cell phone, so I had a phone to call

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Speaker 5: him or call make a call, but we had no

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Speaker 5: service where we lived. He had to go out on

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Speaker 5: top of the hill on the property to get like

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Speaker 5: one bar on the phone. And at two in the morning,

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Speaker 5: I just I don't even know if I saw up

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Speaker 5: that night, but I kind of woke up and came

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Speaker 5: to my sentence and I looked at my wife and

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Speaker 5: I said, you know what I'm done.

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Speaker 4: I need help.

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Speaker 5: I'm scared, and it was very close to probably dying,

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Speaker 5: you know. And I still get emotional about telling my story,

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Speaker 5: which I'm not giving you the full story right now,

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Speaker 5: because I know this is a podcast. But she helped

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Speaker 5: me crawl out, and it was raining. I remember two

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Speaker 5: or three in the morning, we went up on the hill.

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Speaker 5: I called my dad. I had one bar. And you know,

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Speaker 5: my dad has heard it a few times before when

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Speaker 5: I've called it, asked money, you know, asked for money,

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Speaker 5: you know, to pay a bill, when really just pawning

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Speaker 5: everything I.

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Speaker 4: Owned, just for drugs and alcohol.

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Speaker 5: And this was different. I started crying. I said, I

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Speaker 5: want to get help. And with a WWE. They have

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Speaker 5: the Great Wellness Program. They have a really good wellness

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Speaker 5: program and they put you into rehab anybody that's worked there.

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Speaker 5: So got onto the phone to the people in WWE

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Speaker 5: and they got me into rehab in two days. And

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Speaker 5: they were scared to death that I wasn't going to

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Speaker 5: get on the plane and go to rehabit It was

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Speaker 5: at West Palm and I lived in High Springs, Florida,

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Speaker 5: right outside of Gainesville, and I had to go through

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Speaker 5: Atlanta and then Atlanta back to Fort Lauderdale instead of

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Speaker 5: driving right, so you know, I decided to.

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Speaker 4: Fly and I loaded up.

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Speaker 5: I loaded up the whole day before and I was

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Speaker 5: just like, I'm going to get help, going to get help.

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Speaker 3: One last day of it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I did try to talk to my wife and

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Speaker 5: talk out of it, you know, but she kept no,

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Speaker 5: you go do this.

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Speaker 4: Let's let's get it done. You do it. So I

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Speaker 4: finally got on the plane shit faced.

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Speaker 5: It got to the Atlanta airport, had a little delay

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Speaker 5: or not a delay, a layover, drank More landed in

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Speaker 5: Fort Lauderdale. I made the driver go to a seven

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Speaker 5: to eleven and pick up a twelve pack and I.

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Speaker 4: Just went man.

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Speaker 5: So I got in there and I woke up eight

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Speaker 5: days later. I had eight days of detox and in

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Speaker 5: the like. After two weeks, I started seeing things for

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Speaker 5: the first time clear.

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Speaker 4: You know, you notice this weird stuff.

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Speaker 5: You notice butterflies, you know, flying around or whatever, and

255
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Speaker 5: you're like, oh, this is cool.

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Speaker 4: It was very different for me.

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Speaker 5: Right and after the thirty day mark, I said, you

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Speaker 5: need to stay another thirty I said, no, I'm done.

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Speaker 4: I'm done.

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Speaker 5: I was scared, scared shitless to leave the place, but

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Speaker 5: I hated the place it was. I never wanted to

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Speaker 5: go back there, but it did get me to where

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Speaker 5: I needed to be to go out and use the

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Speaker 5: tools that were available with the AA meetings every single night.

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Speaker 5: They want you to do ninety and ninety's that's a

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Speaker 5: big deal. Well, I did two years straight. I maybe

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Speaker 5: missed a handful of days in those two years. And

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Speaker 5: I had to put that first before my daughter, which

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Speaker 5: was tough because I was in my daughter's life for

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Speaker 5: couple of years and that shit broke me down more

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Speaker 5: than anything, and it still does talking about it. You know,

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Speaker 5: seeing her on a visitation with somebody there, you know

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Speaker 5: that's looking over our shoulder, which was really hard. But

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Speaker 5: you know, and my ex wife would call me, I

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Speaker 5: need you to pick up Dakota, and I'll be like, no,

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Speaker 5: I can't. I have an AA meeting. I have to

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Speaker 5: do this, and you have to understand that this comes first.

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Speaker 5: I had to So I did that and I got

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Speaker 5: through that two years and then it became a little easier.

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Speaker 5: And you know, I haven't gone to an AA meeting

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Speaker 5: in a long time, but I have my little circle

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Speaker 5: of people that are there for me that, you know,

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Speaker 5: if I start to think about stuff through there, don't

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Speaker 5: do it. I had a sponsor in AA meetings and

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Speaker 5: I was on a fight with him one day. He

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00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,760
Speaker 5: was not sitting next to me, but he was drunk,

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Speaker 5: so I went I had to, you know, get him

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Speaker 5: out of my life. I had to stay sponsor really

289
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Speaker 5: had like twenty seven years of clean and sober so wow.

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Speaker 4: But he took me through the.

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Speaker 5: Twelve steps, and I did the twelve steps and I

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Speaker 5: work them. So at that point I was like, you

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Speaker 5: know what, I got my wife, I got my daughter,

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Speaker 5: I got my father.

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Speaker 4: That they're my poor group of people I can talk to,

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Speaker 4: I can.

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Speaker 5: You know, my daughter is the number one thing that

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Speaker 5: keeps me going and sober now and I cannot go

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00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,000
Speaker 5: back because to see it did to her and her

300
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Speaker 5: mom right now is in a lot of trouble with

301
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Speaker 5: that stuff.

302
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Speaker 4: Through what happened to her too, So she's been My

303
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,480
Speaker 4: daughter's like really strong and scone. That's what it took

304
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Speaker 4: for me to get to get out of this.

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Speaker 5: Like I texted you earlier, I said, I went down

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Speaker 5: to hell, I kicked the devil and the teeth survived

307
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Speaker 5: and came out on the other side. Now I just

308
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:48,800
Speaker 5: have to maintain it. You know, I am depressed. I

309
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,280
Speaker 5: do have depression and it hits and sometimes it hits part.

310
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Speaker 5: But I work through it and I know that because

311
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Speaker 5: I was taught this in rehab and taught this in

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00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:01,839
Speaker 5: AA meetings, that it is okay to have a day. Okay,

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00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,120
Speaker 5: not the end of the fucking world. I'm not looking

314
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Speaker 5: to kill myself. This depression medicine has helped me almost

315
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,199
Speaker 5: to the point of where I'm kind of numb to thing.

316
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 4: But I would rather be numb to things than you know.

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Speaker 5: Dispeart and go out to the local bar, because this

318
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,280
Speaker 5: time I know it will kill me.

319
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Speaker 4: So I choose not to do it. And I choose

320
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,160
Speaker 4: that every single day.

321
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,040
Speaker 3: And I tell you I love then I appreciate you,

322
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,840
Speaker 3: you telling this because that is your is your equity.

323
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, look, I again, I'm clinical depression

324
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,760
Speaker 2: and anxiety ADHD, bipolar everything.

325
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 3: I never know what I'm waking up with every day. It

326
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,840
Speaker 3: is a It's hard for me to get out of

327
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Speaker 3: bed every day it was.

328
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 2: And I would say, I'm a dude who's fucked up,

329
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,360
Speaker 2: who's learned how to be good with his fucked upness.

330
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Speaker 3: Right.

331
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Speaker 4: Yeah.

332
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,840
Speaker 2: So earlier this year, I gave a talk to an

333
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,320
Speaker 2: NFL team and a player raises his hand.

334
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,200
Speaker 3: I tell all my ship and what I've done now.

335
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,480
Speaker 2: Also, man, as I I have really done a lot

336
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 2: of work of realizing where these issues have helped me.

337
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,160
Speaker 3: So I weaponize them now.

338
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:12,000
Speaker 2: Like my anxiety, I fucking suck and calm, but motherfucker,

339
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,480
Speaker 2: I'm breating chaos, which will me is great cauld. I

340
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,400
Speaker 2: live half my life in a cage and the other

341
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,560
Speaker 2: on TV, and it allows me also, like I'll cause

342
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,560
Speaker 2: chaos and business meetings because most people can't deal with it.

343
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 2: So I became my superpower. So if I weaponize them,

344
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,080
Speaker 2: I'm not ashamed by it anymore. So where are these things?

345
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:31,480
Speaker 2: So I start telling this and this player says, raise

346
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,640
Speaker 2: his hand for a fucking one hundred and fifty cats

347
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,720
Speaker 2: in there, says, please tell me there's light at the

348
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,440
Speaker 2: end of the tunnel.

349
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 3: I said, what do you mean? And he's and I

350
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 3: won't repeat what he said, but he's he's.

351
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,680
Speaker 2: Gone through it big time, and he opens up to

352
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,280
Speaker 2: his team about what's going on, says.

353
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,760
Speaker 3: Please tell me this light at the end of the tunnel.

354
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,880
Speaker 2: I said, Well, here's where I can tell you. You

355
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,920
Speaker 2: may have saved someone's life in here today by opening

356
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,360
Speaker 2: up about your shit. Right same for you, Dustin, just

357
00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,960
Speaker 2: to hear it is you may save someone like to

358
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,520
Speaker 2: by hearing this. Yeah, that's the light at the end

359
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:06,080
Speaker 2: of the tunnel. But I'm fifty four now. I didn't

360
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,800
Speaker 2: open up until I was fifty one. Since I've opened up,

361
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 2: I like, I used to live every fucking day in

362
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,280
Speaker 2: the gray, and I was a fucking terror out. I

363
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,200
Speaker 2: was a savage and I would have rather taken Vike

364
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 2: and I had a roll and shit like that. Said

365
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,080
Speaker 2: to go out and get in trouble, yeah, and get canceled.

366
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 2: Then tell anybody I was fucked up. And you know,

367
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 2: I said, Now, because I've opened up, I've learned all

368
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 2: these things. Now, I've learned how to you know, breath

369
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 2: work and meditation and all these different things. And I've

370
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 2: given myself routines now, whether it's coal pluts, I make

371
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,400
Speaker 2: sure I have certain work, you know. And I've gotten

372
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,400
Speaker 2: older and fifty four, I don't have the same fight

373
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:46,040
Speaker 2: team I used to.

374
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 3: Like, I was in my fight gim for fucking six

375
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 3: hours today.

376
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:50,600
Speaker 4: It was awesome.

377
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:51,880
Speaker 3: So we did. I was fine.

378
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 2: I was at the Island of misfit toys, right, So

379
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,680
Speaker 2: were you right? The ww you're wrestling, We're the island

380
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,800
Speaker 2: of misfit toys.

381
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 3: We're good together. But I said, man, I'm fifty four.

382
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 2: Now and for the first time, I'm now married to

383
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 2: someone who I feel like I deserve her love, which

384
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:14,040
Speaker 2: I never felt it. I'm not sabotaging it because when

385
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,080
Speaker 2: you feel like you don't, you know, depression makes you

386
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 2: feel like you're not worthy of it.

387
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 3: You ruin it, and.

388
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 2: You speed up the process because waiting for it to

389
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,960
Speaker 2: end is more painful to it ending, like living in

390
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,480
Speaker 2: a question of when the fuck is this.

391
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 3: Lady gonna leave?

392
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:28,920
Speaker 4: Yeah?

393
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 2: Right, so we say so, I fuck it up on

394
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,680
Speaker 2: purpose and push everybody away. And now, Saibro, I'm fifty four.

395
00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,320
Speaker 2: I never knew I could feel this kind of joy. Yes, right,

396
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,119
Speaker 2: So for guys like you and I who you know

397
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 2: again like and I always tell guys I've trained one

398
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 2: thousand football players and fighters and said, hey, in a

399
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,360
Speaker 2: cage or on I feel, motherfucker, You'll never ever ever.

400
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 3: Know if I'm hurt or tired.

401
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,600
Speaker 2: Fuck you, You'll never know. I'll be relentless. I break

402
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 2: an arm, you fucking break my back. It doesn't matter.

403
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,400
Speaker 2: But that's the same way we acted outside that ring

404
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,239
Speaker 2: or cage or feel that gets us to end up

405
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,479
Speaker 2: in rehabbit gets us to want to fucking put a

406
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 2: revolver in our mouth, or gets it. You know, it

407
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 2: gets us to be so in the tact. But now

408
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,040
Speaker 2: they're able to separate it and go the other way

409
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,359
Speaker 2: and be vulnerable with each other.

410
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,680
Speaker 3: You know, you and I never met before, and look

411
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:16,159
Speaker 3: how we're.

412
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,400
Speaker 2: Talking like this is never gould have happened ten years ago,

413
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 2: you know, and you start bonding with I said, that's

414
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 2: your equity, bro, And I said, for you to be

415
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 2: able to use your story to help other people, that's

416
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 2: the light at the end of the tunnel. But because

417
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 2: we're opening up now, Dustin, Like, dude, I never knew

418
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,439
Speaker 2: I was capable of feeling this kind of joy and

419
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 2: sustaining it without b Yeah right, you know, without an ecstasy,

420
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 2: without something that was gonna help me.

421
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,560
Speaker 3: And it's fucking beautiful. And if I had to wait

422
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,880
Speaker 3: fifty four years for it, man, it's worth it.

423
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,560
Speaker 5: So yeah, like when I finally got the courage to

424
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 5: go wrestle again, I was scared that I could born

425
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,639
Speaker 5: without some substance, and I found out that I was

426
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 5: just fine, and I was as hell and nothing was

427
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 5: that bad, right, And you said, something good about you know,

428
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 5: our vulnerability, man, is a powerful thing. And I've never

429
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 5: had problems with telling people what's going on with me, right,

430
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,120
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm an open book as far as excess

431
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:22,400
Speaker 5: concern everybody my struggles and they can't hold anything over

432
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 5: my head.

433
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,400
Speaker 4: They don't have an power over me anymore. Right.

434
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 5: I do share a lot, and maybe too much sometimes,

435
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:33,159
Speaker 5: but it has helped. It helps keep me grounded in

436
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 5: control by sharing those that stuff. And there is one

437
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 5: or two people that always say something, you know that, Wow,

438
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 5: this is really powerful, and they'll share it or they'll

439
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 5: message me on the X or whatever, and it's just it's.

440
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,120
Speaker 4: It's pretty powerful.

441
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

442
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 5: So I couldn't see myself keeping that in for that long.

443
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 5: And a lot of people do that. They don't want

444
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 5: you to know that they've been to rehab. They don't

445
00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,439
Speaker 5: want you that they've had these problems.

446
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 4: And I'm why, right, And you.

447
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 5: Can help somebody. And you know, people are different. They

448
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,439
Speaker 5: bottle stuff in and they hold things in and just me, I,

449
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 5: you know, this is my new life. I got a

450
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 5: rebirth here.

451
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,360
Speaker 4: So it's like I'm sharing the shit out of it.

452
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 3: Right.

453
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 4: Whether they like it or not, I don't care.

454
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 3: You're gonna end up helping people go with this being

455
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 3: the service.

456
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.

457
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 2: I also talk about needing the team, and you talk

458
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,439
Speaker 2: about God earlier. So again, my whole life, I was

459
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 2: just lonely and by myself. I just started talking to

460
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 2: God and not asking God, Hey can you get this

461
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 2: job or make me rich?

462
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,640
Speaker 3: But who do you want a best friend in parent?

463
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 3: You just want that person to listen, just be there.

464
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 2: So I alwauld say God, like you're my team. I

465
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,880
Speaker 2: talk about having a team, and like people don't have faith.

466
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 2: That's on you, but my judge you, but don't do

467
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 2: to me. It doesn't hurt me to have faith that

468
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: I'm never alone. And I would say God, I'm gonna

469
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: go after this as hard as I can. Well I

470
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 2: want is when I fail, because I'm gonna fail, pick

471
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 2: me up, brush me off, and let's keep walking this

472
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 2: walk together.

473
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: And that's got me where I am.

474
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 2: And every morning I wake up and I tell God

475
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 2: a loving prayer because it's better for me to wake

476
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 2: up and say I love you to something then wake

477
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,919
Speaker 2: up in that filth of the great And I do

478
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: it at I too, and I do it a few

479
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 2: times during the day and I have someone to love

480
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 2: and now I have somebody else in my wife, which

481
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 2: it helps.

482
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

483
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,440
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So growing up in a wrestling family, Yeah, how

484
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 2: fucking different was that?

485
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 5: It was well when you're when I was little, it

486
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 5: was great, right, But then as you get a little

487
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 5: bit older, it's you know, we go places or whatever,

488
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 5: and Dad's never left alone, you know, and he was

489
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 5: kind of brutal to fans when we're eating dinner and

490
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 5: stuff like that.

491
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 4: Uh, And it was I saw just what a hard

492
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 4: life it was.

493
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 5: And you know, my dad didn't want me to break

494
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 5: into the wrestling business. I was very good in football

495
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 5: and I had some scholarship offers, but my grades were

496
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 5: ship all up until I graduated.

497
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 4: You know, we had coaches coming and he would put

498
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 4: on a.

499
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 5: Big meal for him and things, and it was just

500
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 5: And I did have a hard to play football, but

501
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 5: I wanted to be a wrestler more and he didn't

502
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 5: want me to be.

503
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 4: And I think because he divorced my.

504
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 5: Mom at such an early age of five or six

505
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 5: years old, I can't remember that it was a hard

506
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 5: life for him and he didn't want that for me.

507
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:16,919
Speaker 4: He wanted something better.

508
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 5: So me and my daughter, my sister Kristen were kind

509
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 5: of neglected in a way, you know. And I love

510
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 5: my father. I loved him to death. We did have

511
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 5: a falling out, you know, but that was we got

512
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 5: back together, but you know, many years before he passed.

513
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 5: But it's it was hard, you know, and his current

514
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,959
Speaker 5: wife or his you know, my stepmother, and his two kids,

515
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 5: Cody Eel, they got everything, they got all of him,

516
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 5: you know. And you know, we're sixteen years difference in age,

517
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 5: Cody is and me, and it was it was It's tough,

518
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 5: but it is what it is. I look at it

519
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 5: at you know, the times were different and things happened

520
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 5: for a reason.

521
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 4: I don't look bad appoint it.

522
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 5: I don't look at it like, well, why hasn't he

523
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 5: given me the love that he's given Cody Ortil.

524
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 4: He's my dad. I loved him, and you know he.

525
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 5: Was when we did when I did start the business,

526
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 5: I was around him constantly.

527
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 4: So it was good to be close to him.

528
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 5: But then I went into that that downward spiral where

529
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,199
Speaker 5: I just didn't give a shit for years, man, and

530
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 5: it nearly killed me, you know, And it was it

531
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 5: was a tough time. But growing up being in his

532
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 5: shadow was tough, and especially when I did break into

533
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 5: the business. A lot of people think Audustin had the easy,

534
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 5: easy road to get into business. It's actually one hundred

535
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 5: percent opposite. He made me work for everything. He sent

536
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 5: me to Florida to his mentor. His mentor was Eddie Graham,

537
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 5: who passed shot himself and his son, Mike Graham, where

538
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 5: he made his name in Florida. Dad did so he

539
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 5: sent me down to Mike Graham and Steve Kerrn to

540
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 5: learn professional wrestling. He sent, he said, me with two

541
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 5: thousand dollars. I lived with my aunt and made twenty

542
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 5: dollars a night for two years, and I loved it.

543
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 5: It was my favorite time in the business when I

544
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 5: first started working every night, learning how to do things,

545
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 5: living my dream, get into trouble, you know, doing stupid

546
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 5: shit that I shouldn't do, but loving the wrestling industry

547
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 5: and having a passion for it because it was in

548
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 5: my blood and soul.

549
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 4: Man and he finally brought me up after a.

550
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 5: Couple of years to the NWA before they turned over

551
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 5: to WCW. And I don't know if you've heard of

552
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 5: Kendall Wyndham. It was Burry Windham brother, and he put

553
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 5: us together for the first time on you know TBS

554
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 5: on TV, A young dustin twenty years old or whatever.

555
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 5: But he made me work for it. He didn't push

556
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 5: me in skyrocket me to the moon. Right there, I

557
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 5: was just having fun listening to the vets because back

558
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 5: then it was different.

559
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 4: They all could work right.

560
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 5: And I'm the greenhorn coming in and I just shut

561
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 5: up and listened, and that's what I was told to do,

562
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 5: and they guided me to where I am right that. That

563
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 5: was for many years that I did that. I just

564
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 5: listened and they guided me. But he could have made

565
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 5: me world champion.

566
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 4: He did not.

567
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 5: I was on my way to become world champion, but

568
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 5: it took a long time to get there and was very.

569
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 4: Hard being in his shadow.

570
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 5: A lot of people think I'm going to follow in

571
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 5: my dad's footsteps and I'm going to.

572
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 4: Fill his shoes. It's possible. Now you can't. I cannot.

573
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta wear your own shoes.

574
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 4: I had different. I had this. I needed to be

575
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 4: a little different, but I didn't know that until I

576
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 4: went to WWV for the.

577
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 5: First time and Vince McMahon created this gold Dust character.

578
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 5: That's when I, you know, It was scary because it's

579
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 5: something I'd never done before. I'm just a redneck from Texas, right,

580
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 5: and I played this cowboy character and a good guy,

581
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 5: and he gave me this character that's a bad guy

582
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 5: and a.

583
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 4: Very over the top agynous character.

584
00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 3: Right.

585
00:25:58,359 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 4: So I didn't know what I was going to do

586
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 4: and took a while to figure it out.

587
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 5: But once I did and I stepped outside of my

588
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 5: comfort zone, that's when the magic started happening. And I

589
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 5: stepped into my own shoes and did something on my

590
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 5: own as justin Rohase, but as this flamboyant character gold Dust.

591
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 5: So I knew then. I was like, you know what,

592
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 5: I just found my own shoes. Never be my father,

593
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 5: even close to him, but I can do this. But

594
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 5: it was tough being the son of Dusty Roads, who

595
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 5: you know, the rock.

596
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 3: Wrote I called my niece wrote the foward to my books.

597
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: I've heard a bunch of stories from obviously growing up

598
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 2: the business and his uncles and all that.

599
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 3: Who is your favorite uncle growing up?

600
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 4: My favorite uncle?

601
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, as far as the other wrestlers of your dad was.

602
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 4: With Dig Murdock. Dick Murdoch was his partner years ago.

603
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 5: They became the Texas Outlaws, who I now have trademarked

604
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 5: and put it on my nephews. There are two kids

605
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 5: that are nineteen and eighteen now they're going to the

606
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 5: University of Texas to Texas Outlaws now. But Uncle Dicky Man,

607
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 5: he and he's not my uncle, but he was around me,

608
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 5: you know, my whole life. And it was he really

609
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,360
Speaker 5: kind of taught me, you know, and he would get

610
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 5: on to me if you know. Like, there was this

611
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 5: this bar in Chicago we used to frequent and it

612
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 5: was it was a bottle bar. It was after hours bar, right,

613
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 5: and we went there just to drink have fun. But

614
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 5: I went in this little room with some of the

615
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 5: wrestlers where they do some other stuff. And I didn't

616
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 5: do this then, but I came out of there and

617
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 5: he grabbed me by the lapel and threw me in

618
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 5: the car and said, don't you ever fucking go in

619
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 5: that room again. You know, you stay that ship, which

620
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 5: was a bunch of cocaine right right right, which I

621
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 5: didn't do because I was I was young and I

622
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 5: wasn't there yet to do that kind of stuff.

623
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 4: I was just drinking beer.

624
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 5: But you know, it really and my dad always preached

625
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 5: don't do drugs, don't do drugs, and it just had

626
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 5: the opposite effect on me, you know, and I just

627
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,359
Speaker 5: I chose to go down the dark path. And I

628
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 5: think that there there's millions of people that do that.

629
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 5: You know, there's not there's clean cut family out there.

630
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 4: Everybody has their fucking issues, man.

631
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 5: Everybody has their problems with you know, a lot of

632
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 5: people have their problems.

633
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 4: With alcohol and drugs.

634
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 5: So no, I'm not the only one, and there's millions

635
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 5: of people that go through this, and you know, it's

636
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 5: I know, I kind of.

637
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 4: Get off the track there, but it was like I really.

638
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 5: Tried at the beginning, you know, I just drank the beer,

639
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 5: had fun with my wrestling, learned and all that stuff.

640
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 5: But Uncle Dicky, he was he was about as close

641
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 5: to me as anybody ever was in the business and

642
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 5: my best friend for a long long time because I

643
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 5: kind of grew up with him in the black Jack

644
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 5: Mulligan all those old timers and you know, Barry, me

645
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 5: and him, we were around each other all the day,

646
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 5: every day, you know, I would I would ride with

647
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 5: him and we just drank beer.

648
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 4: You know. So it was all good until it just

649
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 4: wasn't what.

650
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: Was your best moment from all those thoughts, best experience,

651
00:28:58,440 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 2: best woman?

652
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 5: You know, I think my legacy is when I got

653
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 5: clean and sober. I think that that encompasses my whole legacy.

654
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 5: But as far as having the funnest time, I'm having

655
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 5: with aw because I feel this company.

656
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 4: He loves wrestling, Tony Khan loves wrestling.

657
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 3: He's a but I know Tony, trust me, he's a bet.

658
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 5: It's one hundred and ten percent different than the events

659
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 5: mcmon days. This was pretty brutal, and you were walking

660
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 5: on eggshells all the time, worried about your job with Tony.

661
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 4: He loves me, he is a huge fan of my wrestling.

662
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 4: He's treating me very very good here for the last

663
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 4: five years.

664
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 5: And my contract is up actually today and hoping that

665
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 5: you know, I can renew the contract or where it

666
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 5: goes right now. And last year I was worried like

667
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 5: crazy for a solid year. Oh God, what's going to

668
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 5: happen in my contract? So worried about what epps right,

669
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 5: And it's like this time, not one fucking day have

670
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 5: I worried about either re.

671
00:29:59,040 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 4: Signing or not.

672
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 5: It's like it is what it is, so I'm hoping,

673
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 5: you know, that I get to remain or a door

674
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 5: opens or an avenue opens or whatever.

675
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 4: But I'm fifty five, so it's but.

676
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 5: I'm doing the best works the last couple of years.

677
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 5: I'm doing the best work I've done in my career.

678
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 5: I look better than I looked when I started. I'm

679
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 5: in shape for a fifty five year old man. And

680
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 5: I don't know what it is, but it's like when

681
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 5: I got out of rehab, I started going to the gym,

682
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 5: and I never went to the gym. Go to the

683
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 5: gym enough, right, and I go every single day. Now

684
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 5: it's like not every day, but close to it, and

685
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 5: I'm in there.

686
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 4: And that's kind of my other addiction.

687
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 2: By you said you don't know what it is, it's

688
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 2: your lighter yees here, Like we're cap We carried all

689
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 2: this heavy shit and now that we've opened up, start

690
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 2: talking and helping, everything's just lighter. A thirty second NFL

691
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 2: training camp. Every camp, I do the same thing. I

692
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: get my own set fucking roof. I got, I get

693
00:30:58,800 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 2: a glazed roof.

694
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 3: I come in. I'm gonna fucking huddle with these guys.

695
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 2: I work out with every team. I get IV's with them.

696
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 2: We go out, man, I eat with them. The coaches

697
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,479
Speaker 2: will cancel meetings because I'm there so we can go

698
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 2: hang out and shit like that. But this year, because

699
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 2: I just got married in May and I'm just happy

700
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: for the first time in my life.

701
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like I've done. I did the same

702
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 3: exact thing this camp that.

703
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 2: I did last year, year before, year before, but it

704
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 2: just felt different. And it's just like I just feel

705
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 2: light and airy and like if I have some other shit, like,

706
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 2: we're still gonna have problems, dude, it's Life's about it.

707
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 3: How the fuck we handle them?

708
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 2: Man, it's just like shit, just we're able to handle

709
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 2: it better instead of sinking all the way down. And

710
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 2: if I do sink all the way down, I used

711
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: to I have a supports system now I know to

712
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 2: call like immediately and just unload and bam and pick

713
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 2: myself up. And it's not just my wife, but I

714
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,959
Speaker 2: think that's what it is like to I just feel lighter,

715
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 2: and then everybody else could feel it too, you know

716
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:55,479
Speaker 2: what I mean.

717
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 4: More manageable. Yeah, if you're until it doesn't.

718
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 5: But then we, like you said, a little support group

719
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 5: and we can get a mess pretty pretty quickly.

720
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

721
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And when I'm when I'm fucked up, I'll call

722
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 2: I'll call two to four people and tell them I'm

723
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 2: really fucking struggling. And then I'll call like two to

724
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 2: four people and not tell them and just check up

725
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 2: on them, because like, man, it may not happen one

726
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 2: hundred percent of the time. Ninety percent of the time

727
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 2: they'll be like, oh, I'm good, I'm good. But ten

728
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 2: percent of the time someone call go, oh, man Clays, I'm

729
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 2: so glad you called.

730
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 3: Man, I'm in a bad way right now.

731
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 2: And then I help them and so lad by being

732
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: of service, I don't remember that I'm I'm going to grat.

733
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 5: Usually when people say I'm good or okay, that means

734
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 5: the opposite. Yeah, I know sometimes right, I had a

735
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 5: lot too, and it's uh, you know, I don't want

736
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,719
Speaker 5: to bother anybody that don't want it, but you know,

737
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,479
Speaker 5: there's there's I'm a pretty good mentor at work, and

738
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 5: people have problems all the time and I talk to

739
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 5: them and I think I help them. So I mean

740
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 5: I'm doing my part as as far as helping myself

741
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 5: while helping others, you know, passing on whatever knowledge I

742
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 5: have It's tough, man, It's tough what we've been through.

743
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 5: And I've been through fourteen surgeries and it's I can't

744
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 5: believe I'm still walking right to knee replacements. But you know,

745
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 5: I'll go get a cortizone shot or two and I

746
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 5: feel good, and you know, I just know the inevitable

747
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 5: is almost.

748
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 4: Here, and that's going to be a hard thing to

749
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 4: deal with.

750
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 3: You know.

751
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 5: I think I may have two or three years left

752
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 5: that I can go full steam and then.

753
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 4: What it's like, that's that's something that I'm going to have.

754
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 5: To really really work on to try to keep vanity

755
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 5: and keep wearing any.

756
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 3: New routines, new rhythms, new supports. Yeah. Absolutely really. Hey,

757
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 3: by the way, well you should think about what I did.

758
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 3: I went down to Panama. I got stem cell.

759
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 4: Yeah I was.

760
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 3: I was a week away from a three level fusion.

761
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 3: Now I don't need it.

762
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 5: And so the thing about stem cells, man, they go

763
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 5: away just like anything else, right, But the one you're

764
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 5: talking about in Median.

765
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, well not.

766
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 2: I go to play some Panama coled origins, but they're

767
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 2: using yeah, so I'm not They're not using my own

768
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 2: fucked up stems.

769
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 3: Also using americal cord, which man, it's it's a game changer, dude.

770
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 4: Really game changer.

771
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 5: Like Ray Mysterio, he's he's religious about it. You talked

772
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 5: about it about going down to uh Colombia. Yeah, and

773
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 5: going to a place and a lot of the guys

774
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 5: go to it there for about a week and just

775
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 5: do all kinds of millions of themselves.

776
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 4: In their body. It's changed my life really.

777
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 3: Yeah. Man. I had Max.

778
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 2: Crosby and Derwin James to my bice attendant super spinas

779
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 2: and rotator cuff first fifteen minutes and train these fools

780
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 2: for a month and again.

781
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: My thing is if you're hurt and tired and that

782
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 3: that ran, you don't show it. Don't show it. Don't

783
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 3: show it. They fucked me up and I had to

784
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 3: get it.

785
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 2: I have to get my bicep tend to reattached anchored

786
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 2: back while I was getting married, so I couldn't do

787
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 2: it then, And then when I wanted to go do

788
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 2: it with something from Fox, I couldn't do it.

789
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 3: Then.

790
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 2: Then I training camp, so I said, you know what,

791
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: fuck it, I'll just go down and get stem cells.

792
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 2: I don't think it's gonna be able to help, and

793
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 2: I went with Mark Kerr, who the Smashing Machine, who

794
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 2: the Rock is making a movie on right now from

795
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 2: Amma Champ.

796
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 3: We both went down and.

797
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: I just figured, Okay, maybe it will help me some pain.

798
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 2: I was supposed to have a surgery next week. Cancel

799
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 2: the surgery. I don't need it.

800
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 3: I'm good.

801
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: And it says I sent a combat bet down since

802
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: I've known him cannot dress himself.

803
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 3: And he went down there and it regrew the nerve in.

804
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 2: His ankle and helped his multiple sclerosis help with that,

805
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 2: and he did a tough Mutter race in February.

806
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 4: Holy fu for a guy who could not put.

807
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 3: His own pants on. So I'll offline. I'll give you

808
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 3: the information.

809
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 4: Man, you're selling me on it.

810
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 3: So it's a game changer.

811
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,879
Speaker 2: I listened before I let you go. Brother, I asked

812
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: all my guests this, and you may have answered the

813
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 2: question already. Give me your unbreakable moment, that moment that

814
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 2: should have broken you and didn't. As a result, you

815
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 2: came through the other side of that tunnel stronger forever.

816
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 4: I think I already kind of talked to him.

817
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 3: I think you did.

818
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 5: But yeah, the unbreakable moment was, you know, so what

819
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 5: I was up to for about two years straight, and

820
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 5: you know it started years before that. What I was

821
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 5: up to was a half a gallon of vodka day,

822
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,800
Speaker 5: about seventy pills a day, mixed with the lower tabs

823
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 5: of Vikingins and xenax, and a half of an eight

824
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 5: ball every two to three days. And I don't know

825
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 5: where I got the money from, because I fucking pond

826
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 5: everything off right. But for some reason, I think I

827
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 5: started drinking beer and I hadn't drinking beer in a while,

828
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 5: and it was just plain liquor and mountain dew vodka

829
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 5: and mountain.

830
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 4: Dew all day.

831
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 5: And when you haven't drinking beer in a while, it'll

832
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 5: get you fucked up, cooker, I think that's what did it,

833
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 5: you know.

834
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 4: And then trying to come.

835
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 5: Out of it with pills because vicodins had the reverse

836
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 5: reaction on me.

837
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,800
Speaker 4: They made me go up, not down.

838
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too.

839
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 5: A lot of people that make it go down, right,

840
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 5: Take two or three of them in the morning.

841
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:04,359
Speaker 3: Man.

842
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,879
Speaker 2: To get up out of the happiest ship, yep, yes,

843
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 2: and I get happiest ship, and then to come down.

844
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 3: I get violent as fuck. It's not good.

845
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 5: Well I did with with brown alcohol with it pretty

846
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 5: fucking mean and start fights and ship like that, and

847
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 5: that is no good. I just kind of didn't want that.

848
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 5: I wanted a good drunk, the happy drunk, right. So

849
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 5: the vikings and the vodka really helped. And then the

850
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 5: Xanax in night time. I would take a ship tone

851
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 5: of them, which is just fucking dangerous. Xanax was the

852
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 5: hard hardest thing to come off of.

853
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 4: Deadly.

854
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:44,720
Speaker 5: You're taking xanax, buddy, that's like it's a recipe for death.

855
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 5: It's it's heavy. But I mean, not everybody has addicted personalities.

856
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 5: Some people can't social drink and drug and be okay

857
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 5: and not pick it up again for two months or whatever.

858
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 4: Not me, I have one. I need twenty, you know today.

859
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 5: Maybe I could go back and say, hey, I want

860
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 5: to have a beer today, But then the second day

861
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 5: is going to turn into ten, you know, and so

862
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 5: forth right with the pills and everything else, and I'd

863
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 5: be looking for drug dealers. I had doctors everywhere, I

864
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 5: had drug viewers everywhere, and.

865
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 4: It was just a mess.

866
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 5: But I think those three days of me not being

867
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:22,800
Speaker 5: able to function and my heart just doing all kinds

868
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 5: of weird things really scared the shit out of me.

869
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 4: And you know, I really do believe.

870
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 5: That God, you know, at that waking hour, the witching

871
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 5: hour of two or three o'clock in the morning, said

872
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 5: you have had enough. You got to stop now. And

873
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 5: I had what bearings I had left in my head

874
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 5: to get out there on the hill and make a

875
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 5: phone call and say I'm done, I've had enough, I

876
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,919
Speaker 5: want help, And they got me in there. And I'm

877
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 5: sure I believe my parents a lot, and you know,

878
00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 5: everybody kind of took a deep breath when I came

879
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 5: out and make me making sure I was on my

880
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 5: right path with the keep stepping thing. And I've talked

881
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 5: to you know, a lot of people over the over

882
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 5: the sixteen years about it, and I think that is

883
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 5: the unbreakable you know that what say, the unbreakable.

884
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 3: Unbreakable moment.

885
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 5: And now you know, and I was very scared to

886
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 5: talk in front of people. Now I'm like, because I

887
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 5: have a school, I put on these long speeches and

888
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 5: I want to do a tour. Now, I want to

889
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,240
Speaker 5: do a tour around the US, a speaking tour about

890
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 5: recovery and addiction and things and telling my story. And

891
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 5: it's in the works, so it's got logistics down and

892
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 5: start doing it. Alex Marvez is helping me write my book,

893
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 5: so get that going and we'll see how it goes.

894
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 4: Buddy.

895
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 2: Alex helped me a lot early on, man, when the

896
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 2: other reporters just hated my guts and killed me. He

897
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 2: was the one and the first guy in the media

898
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 2: to befriend me, saying, no, you're doing the right way

899
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 2: start relationships.

900
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 3: We're just not able to but you, you're man. He

901
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 3: helped me a lot, And I want to say this too.

902
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: I want people to understand this, and you could quickly

903
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 2: just back this up for everybody who goes through shit

904
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 2: and they end up going to reapp like you hit

905
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 2: rock bottom.

906
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 3: Which you need to do to go to rehab and

907
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 3: have it completed.

908
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 2: All people want for you to see you succeed and

909
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,360
Speaker 2: be the best. People don't hold it against you what

910
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 2: has happened. People don't say, oh fuck this guy. Everybody

911
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 2: I know who has gone through shit, we come to

912
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 2: the other side. Hey, man, I went through reapp. We

913
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 2: all just we're happy for you. Yeah, right, And I

914
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 2: think a lot of people go, oh my god, I'm

915
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 2: so embarrassed.

916
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 3: I can't believe people are gonna be so mad at me.

917
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 3: We're not. We just want to see the best for you.

918
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,640
Speaker 2: Anybody out there who's listened to this, take it from

919
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 2: the two of us.

920
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 3: Man, if you're close, this is rock bottom. Go get

921
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:49,320
Speaker 3: help and you'll.

922
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 2: Be amazed by the outpouring of support and love that

923
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 2: you get on the other side.

924
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 5: I truly believe this. If you are as deep as

925
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 5: like you and I were, impossible to do it yourself.

926
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 5: It's really hard. I really do believe that. Like, when

927
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 5: you are so deep, you can't just quit because it's dangerous.

928
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,919
Speaker 5: You can't do it on your own. You always make

929
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 5: excuses and I did, you know, and I tried, but

930
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 5: I was like, uh uh, you know, I don't have

931
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 5: a problem. I'm in control of this. And believe me,

932
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 5: you do have a problem. There is help out there,

933
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 5: and all as it is is a phone call away,

934
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 5: and you're worried about money or whatever.

935
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 4: This is your life.

936
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 3: You know.

937
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 5: Rehab can save your life, but you got to want it.

938
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 5: You have to recognize that you actually have a problem

939
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 5: and you need it. I don't think forcing rehab on

940
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 5: anybody is good. I don't think works. I think they

941
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:50,279
Speaker 5: go back many times. You know, until you actually want it,

942
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 5: until you actually open your fucking eyes if you can

943
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 5: and say I've had enough, like.

944
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 4: I did, thankfully.

945
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 5: It's a tough thing to get out of and you

946
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 5: cannot do it alone and there's help out there, and uh,

947
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 5: you know, I just wish the best for people and

948
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 5: hope that they can get better.

949
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 4: In their own lives.

950
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,320
Speaker 2: Brother, I'm proud of you, man, I'm thank you that

951
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:09,399
Speaker 2: you were on the same team.

952
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 3: Dude, I really appreciate you.

953
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 4: Man, absolutely sure.

954
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 3: Custin Roads, you were a fucking stud.

955
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 4: Thank you, Thank you, brother, Thank you.

956
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,320
Speaker 3: Mustin Roads here on the Unbreakable Podcast