1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Native Lampard is a production of iHeart Radio in partnership 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: with Reason Choice Media. 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 2: What's Up, Princessful? 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 3: She got a stomach out? Look at it? 5 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 2: Just oh, we got a little mid drift. 6 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 3: I'm almost done, Okay, I love you. I tried. 7 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: One of the things that I tried to do in 8 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: my life is not have beef with six year olds. 9 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 3: But I'm not always successful. Welcome to y'all. 10 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: Welcome home, y'all supposed to say, welcome home. 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 3: Jesus, I gotta help you, y'all just saw. 12 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: We just had a special cameo from Sadie Ellen Sellers 13 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,160 Speaker 1: and she is going to be seven in January, along 14 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: with her brother. You may hear them in the background 15 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: because we out of school on this Thanksgiving week, but 16 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: we are enjoying every bit of it. And shout out 17 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: to the Nutcracker. I hope some of y'all are going 18 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: to get a chance to see friends and family in 19 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: special shows. But Angela had a unique she wanted to 20 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: talk about, So I'm gonna let you bring it in 21 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: because you described it so well. 22 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 4: So all of us have siblings, and I think I 23 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 4: at least have a ton of cousins too. And so 24 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 4: we spend our holidays all together. As you all know, 25 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 4: we've spent a lot of time trafficking and internet beef. 26 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 5: Some that we requested, some we. 27 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 4: Didn't ask for, but some if we can't escape. Always 28 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 4: during the holidays, there's. 29 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 5: Some family beef. 30 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 4: So I want to talk about conflict resolution on the 31 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 4: other side of Thanksgiving and wondering how y'all navigated through 32 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 4: some of the trials and tribulations of cousin beef, sibling beef, 33 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 4: and all things in between. Did you get in trouble 34 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 4: for making the macaroni and cheese bad? Did you get 35 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 4: in trouble for putting marshmallows on top of the camps? 36 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 4: Did you get in trouble for some age oh beef 37 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 4: that we don't know about. I want to hear about it. 38 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 4: I want to hear about how y'all have resolved conflict 39 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 4: with plant family. 40 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 5: I got some that's not quite resolved. 41 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 4: I'm talking about that too. 42 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 6: And you're talking about like light hearted beef, and there's 43 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 6: like heavy beef that happens, and it depends on how 44 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 6: you perceive its like heavy beef for some people. As 45 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 6: you renigged back in nineteen ninety eight. You said you 46 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 6: ain't have no clubs spoken in decades. 47 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 7: You know. 48 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 8: Yeah, marriages break up. 49 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 2: Over when like and your your cousin female dance too 50 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 2: close to your new husband. Oh, y'all, you know. 51 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 3: They already knew, they already knew each other. 52 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 2: Andrew not, Well, I don't know what don't. 53 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 3: That's why you got it. That's why you gotta get 54 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:25,639 Speaker 3: your card. 55 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 8: You got to get your Thanksgiving. 56 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 5: I want to hear about this. 57 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 2: But we all together now, you know. 58 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's why you gotta have it was a beef. 59 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 2: No that sounds let's get let's start light up. 60 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 8: Okay, Well. 61 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,360 Speaker 6: I don't really I don't spend the holidays with my family, 62 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 6: so I don't really have like and it's not like 63 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 6: family beef. 64 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 8: It's just we all choose our piece. 65 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 6: So and we're recording. We're recording this early. So for Thanksgiving, 66 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,799 Speaker 6: these people don't know. But for Thanksgiving, I may be 67 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 6: a Tamern's house because I'll be in New York. I'm 68 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 6: either go go to Tammer's house in Sunny's house, or 69 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,679 Speaker 6: I might take the train back to DC and be 70 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,799 Speaker 6: at my friend's house. But I really don't because I'm 71 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,679 Speaker 6: you know, usually with like chosen family. I don't really 72 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 6: have beef around the holidays, but I do like to 73 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 6: talk a. 74 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 5: Lot of. 75 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 3: I don't. 76 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: I don't have beef. And the reason I don't have 77 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: beef is because I am affectionately calling myself a human 78 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: gas lighter. I am the person who you want to 79 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 1: have beef with. And then I just withdraw from communication. 80 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 3: Because I don't. I don't care. 81 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,679 Speaker 1: I can't do all of that and the family group 82 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: chats as soon as the beef pop off. You see, 83 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: Bacari left the conversation in the middle. 84 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 2: Of family group chats or prayers. 85 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 5: You really don't. 86 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 8: Hold on real quick like you or do you just ignore? 87 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean, if y'all piss me off, I don't. 88 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: I will leave a group chat in a heartbeat because 89 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: I want you to the part of the gas lighting 90 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: is you have to see the little line at the 91 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: bottom that says Macari, seller's left the. 92 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 3: Conversation, left the chat. 93 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 6: So it's not just like this, Well, can you tell 94 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 6: us what happens the last time you did? 95 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: So, just as a just I am about to tell 96 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: the truth, just as a One of the things people 97 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: will never say about me is I lie, but as 98 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: a part of a larger thing. I believe that a 99 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: relationships go both ways. And I hate to be in 100 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: a relationship where I just give. That drives me crazy 101 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: because I when I just give, I get exhausted. And 102 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: then it's like when I give and then somebody comments 103 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: on how I give what I give, or if I 104 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 1: gave the right amount of effort, then that is when 105 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: I'm about done. 106 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 5: Give me an example, b Come. 107 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 3: On, I mean what I mean. No, no, no. 108 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: I take care of my parents, all right, and so 109 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 1: I take care of Gwen and Cleve. They get allowances 110 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: I pay for. You know, I'm just calling up No 111 00:04:55,360 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: they with you, Andrew and SKOPI conversation so but you know, 112 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: and sometimes you just want people to help shoulder that load. 113 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 1: And it's okay to do it by yourself. But I 114 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: don't need critique on how I'm shouldering the load. That's 115 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: my only point. I think that's what people don't to 116 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,160 Speaker 1: whom given, to whom much is given. 117 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 6: You got three people on this side of the screen, 118 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 6: like handler. If y'all listening to Angelo point. 119 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: Ellen is one of the most special people I'll ever 120 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: meet because one of the things that that happened when 121 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: we got married. Is I married a really really good partner. 122 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 1: I married and she hates when I say this. I 123 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: married it because I saw she was going to be 124 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: a good mother because we had a bonus child, so 125 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: that's always But I found out she's a really really 126 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 1: good partner. So she helps me shoulder that load and 127 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 1: tries to get me reintegrated with with friends and family 128 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: who otherwise, you know, I am okay not having conversations 129 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: with people. I am just fine without. Do I miss 130 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: it sometimes? 131 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 3: Hell? 132 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:54,479 Speaker 4: Yeah? 133 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 3: Does it drive me crazy sometimes? 134 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:56,039 Speaker 2: Yeah? 135 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 3: Do I worry about getting into heaven? Yeah? 136 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 1: But I'm also going to make sure that I have 137 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,600 Speaker 1: my peace of mind because I ain't gonna let y'all 138 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 1: mess up my holidays. Ain't that much weed in the world. 139 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 4: You know, not with the red cup entering the conversation too, Tip, 140 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 4: it's five am somewhere. Now here's the thing that, here's 141 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 4: the thing why I pointed at the screen, Tip, and 142 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 4: I know you can relate to it too, because one 143 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 4: of the things we talked about, I think last week 144 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 4: is in my call to action around caretaking. And what 145 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 4: I think is so interesting about this moment is how 146 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 4: care can turn into conflict. Care can turn into the battle, 147 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 4: because what you don't always realize is in caretaking knowing 148 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 4: that it is your responsibility and sometimes joyful in your pleasure. 149 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 4: Right when people have something to say about what you 150 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 4: didn't do or how you're doing it, that is remarkably frustrating. 151 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 5: And I want to give y'all. 152 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 4: I wasn't even gonna get into this because I didn't 153 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 4: think about it. 154 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 5: But when be just brought this up. 155 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,919 Speaker 4: You know, last week, my mom was in the hospital 156 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 4: after having a fall we talked about and she had 157 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 4: to be transferred to a rehab facility. Well, I'm one 158 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 4: visiting all these rehab facilities. Ain't nobody going with me, Daddy, no, Shaye. 159 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 4: But I went by myself and my dad was he 160 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 4: had a call so he couldn't go. So, you guys, 161 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 4: by the third one I went to, I'm in the 162 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 4: car sobbing because I'm like, I can't put my mom 163 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 4: in any of these places, right, I'm like, she will 164 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 4: look at me like, and you got me confused, you 165 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 4: know what I mean, I'm not going. Yeah, And so 166 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 4: I was like, what am I gonna do? So I'm 167 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 4: literally like text pleading with the place where I want 168 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 4: her to go. Thankfully, you know, spoiler alert, she ends 169 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 4: up there. But like I got people in the family 170 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 4: text but to me like did you get her in yet? 171 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 5: It hasn't happened yet, Like and I'm like, did you? 172 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 5: I'm sorry, did you make a call? 173 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 4: And I'm feeling tender about it cause I'm like nobody's helping. 174 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 4: I'm looking at the board members to see who I 175 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 4: can reach out to to get my mom in the 176 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 4: facility that is preferred, you know. 177 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 5: But it's frustrating when it's not even critique. 178 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 4: I won't even say critique, it's it is the quiet 179 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 4: resentment by the way that I'll feel from carrying what 180 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 4: I believe is my responsibility. But it would still be 181 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 4: nice if somebody just was like, hey, do you need 182 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 4: any support here? So I end up getting mad over 183 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 4: something I never even expressed to anyone, right, but I 184 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 4: just feel it. 185 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 5: I see you not intip. 186 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 8: Can I ask, though? Can I ask. 187 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 6: If someone in your family had tried to be just 188 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 6: as invested as you just invested in calling, would they 189 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 6: have the space to do that? 190 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 8: Or would you say, like. 191 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 6: Do you want to be the person who's handling it 192 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 6: like if your cousin or your sibling, or you have 193 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 6: like siblings that you grew up with or cousins who 194 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 6: you grew up. 195 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 8: With as siblings. 196 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 6: So if they jumped in and they were like, okay, 197 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 6: I'm gonna call these three, are are they going to 198 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 6: get the antelip It's like, oh. 199 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 8: Thank you so much for shouldering it's with me or the. 200 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,319 Speaker 6: Antelopus, Like, well, I'll do it because I know my 201 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,960 Speaker 6: mom and I know how I wanted and did you 202 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 6: ask this and did you ask that? And did you 203 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 6: do it the right way? And so maybe they might 204 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 6: feel like I'm not going to intervene are you reception? 205 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 5: Very much? 206 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 4: So, in fact, the only difference I would say, though 207 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 4: my standards here are my moms. I was very careful 208 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 4: to ask my mom what does she want? I'm like, Mom, 209 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 4: here are the things that I'm thinking through. Does this 210 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 4: align with what you want? I'm operating strictly off what 211 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 4: she wants right like she is she Thank God, she 212 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 4: has her right mind. She can make these decisions right Like, 213 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 4: I'm absolutely yielding to that. Now if somebody calls and 214 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 4: it's like, oh, this facility can take her, but hey, 215 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 4: you haven't visited, and you don't have time, I still 216 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:31,199 Speaker 4: got to go. 217 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 5: Check it out, right. 218 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 4: So if they are like, oh, I'm gonna go, look like, 219 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 4: I know my cousin Me, I know my cousin Mary, 220 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 4: I know my cousin Ronda, ma A Learetta. I was, yeah, 221 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,200 Speaker 4: and he has been here to help, you know. Like 222 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 4: so like everybody, they all have the same standards. Now, 223 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,440 Speaker 4: I got some other cousins where I might not yield 224 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 4: to you, son, because I. 225 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,199 Speaker 5: Don't know what type of time you want. 226 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 4: So yes, I think so, But I think what's most frustrating, 227 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 4: and I be quiet here is my brother. My parents 228 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 4: will probably be mad for me saying this, but it's true. 229 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,319 Speaker 4: My brother just turned sixty this past Friday. I have 230 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 4: not talked to him in over a year. He did, 231 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 4: in his defense, call my mom recently, but my mom 232 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,559 Speaker 4: hasn't talked to him over a year. 233 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 5: And when she heard his voice on the phone, she 234 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 5: starts crying. 235 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 4: And I think for me, I was like, damn, I 236 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 4: didn't realize how much this was an open hole for her, 237 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 4: and it's a wound, and so like, I want to 238 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 4: be grateful that he showed up, but I also want 239 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 4: to cuss his ass out because I haven't seen him, 240 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 4: haven't heard from him, he ain't done nothing. It's irritating. 241 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 4: And so for me, like if there was family beef, 242 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 4: well there is family beef. I have beef with him, 243 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 4: bless you to. I have beef with him right now 244 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 4: for how he's moved with my parents. Like he don't 245 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,560 Speaker 4: have to talk to me, but I don't like how 246 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 4: he's moving with my parents, and he better not to 247 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 4: Bacari's point, come around, critique and shit right now, because 248 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,600 Speaker 4: I will definitely remove myself from that conversation. By the way, 249 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 4: Nick's in the chat saying, Bacary, that's not gaslighting, that's 250 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 4: called stonewalling. 251 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 6: Thank you. 252 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: Next, white privilege, White privilege, tell me about. 253 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 3: My brother. 254 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 1: Nick is my brother. He's getting me through my terrible 255 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: technological days. Go ahead, Andrew you over there with you 256 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: looking like you're about to run off on one of 257 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 1: your patent at twelve minutes. 258 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 2: You and know you and I both get the same DRUMA. 259 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 2: I'm managing uh three children upstairs, and when they started 260 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 2: getting stompy on the floor, somebody about to push somebody 261 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 2: and whatever. So these are beats, family beasts and ours range. 262 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, we y'all family group chats are a 263 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:43,439 Speaker 2: lot more active around situations than ours. Ours ours are 264 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 2: prayers usually we have also regular family once a month 265 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 2: prayer calls, h cousins, aunts, my siblings, and I know 266 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 2: we all. I'm one of seven number five of seven, 267 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 2: all boys, and then my baby sister, my little sister, Monique, 268 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:09,199 Speaker 2: And where our drama mostly resides is around these days. 269 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 2: I think my systere Monique has taken on like a 270 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 2: tremendous amount, traveling back and forth from the DMV back 271 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 2: to South Georgia to help out with my mom. And 272 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 2: I've got guilt around the fact that I'm you know, 273 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 2: a few hours away and but just three children and 274 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 2: a partner who works, and I have, you know, things 275 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 2: I got to It's just by the time you look up, 276 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,839 Speaker 2: it's like, oh my god, and I'm so sorry my 277 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 2: da da da d And so what I what, I 278 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 2: really appreciate one. I've got siblings that look after me, 279 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 2: and we try to look after each other. We try 280 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 2: not to guilt each other about the time stuff like 281 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 2: who's spending more time with you know whom, and who's 282 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 2: doing the initial outreach to somebody, not a beef, but 283 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 2: I think a reconciliation, and that is I think we 284 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 2: all got to a place because I was kind of 285 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 2: sick of the whole You barely ever call and when 286 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 2: we call you, we can't ever reach you. Were talking 287 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 2: to your assistance or this is that and the third 288 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,959 Speaker 2: this is really in a former life, and then in 289 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 2: my new position, it really is like I just don't 290 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,959 Speaker 2: be near them and I don't really like to pay 291 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 2: a whole bunch of attention to them. And I think 292 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 2: we all have different kind of chips on the shoulder 293 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 2: with each other about some of those kinds of accessibility things. 294 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 2: And so what we decided was if I reach out 295 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 2: to you, I'm reaching out to you with no I 296 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 2: love to talk to you and I would love to 297 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 2: have a conversation with you, but if I don't reach you, 298 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 2: I don't want you to beat yourself up about trying 299 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 2: to you know, get back to me. Just know that 300 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 2: you were on my heart. I wanted to reach out, 301 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 2: and when you get a minute, I trust that you'll 302 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 2: reach back out and we'll go from there. And I have, 303 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,959 Speaker 2: really it feels like a really light lifted load that 304 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 2: you know I'm not feeling the pressure around you sometimes 305 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,719 Speaker 2: avoid that call because of how long you have been 306 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 2: able to you know how how much time has passed 307 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 2: since you were able to make the return call. So 308 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 2: the lifting of the pressure. I don't know how how 309 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 2: if all of us are a hundred percent fully committed, 310 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 2: because I got one brother, one of my older brothers, 311 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 2: who seem a little touched still by inaccessibility when they 312 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 2: want you. But but that's helped a lot. It's just like, 313 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 2: how about you take the action because it's in you 314 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 2: to take and have no anticipation for the outcome. Just 315 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 2: just move because you felt so moved, or do because 316 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 2: you feel so do you know to do but you're 317 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 2: not doing it? Because I want you to know that 318 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 2: I call it. I need you to pick up the 319 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 2: fun and call me back to acknowledge that I've called you. Nope, 320 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 2: But when I do get back with you, know that 321 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 2: it's love and I'm here one hundred percent. And if 322 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 2: it's an emergency, I'll drop everything. But if it is 323 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 2: us just checking in this week is a little rough. 324 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 2: I'm gonna push this on Sunday, and please don't have 325 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 2: heat for me for that. 326 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 3: Nobody knows. 327 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 8: I get that, Andrew. We've talked about that before. 328 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 6: That's a pet peeve of both of ours, not just 329 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 6: with family, but with anybody. Like if I call you 330 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 6: and the first thing I hear is I've been trying 331 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 6: to call you. I called you eighteen times or whatever, 332 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 6: it's gonna be a real short conversation because my attitude 333 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 6: is like I'm calling you back now, like what's up. 334 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 6: If I didn't call you, it's because I was dealing 335 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 6: with and it could have been that I was busy, 336 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 6: that I was back to back to back to back 337 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 6: to back, or I didn't have the mental capacity to 338 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 6: engage another human being at that, you know, like I 339 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 6: was dealing with all kinds of stuff that I'd never 340 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 6: bring to you, that you don't know about. But now 341 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 6: I found made the time to talk to you. Let's 342 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 6: just be in this moment here. But what I was 343 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 6: struck by what you said. And I think some people 344 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 6: may feel this way during the holidays, that sometimes you 345 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 6: don't have the desire to to engage, And I wonder 346 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 6: what that reason is. I don't want to, you know, 347 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,160 Speaker 6: put you on the spot. So I'll say that I 348 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 6: don't always have the desire to engage because it might 349 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 6: be past family trauma or memories or you know. I mean, 350 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 6: I'm pretty open about the fact that I left home 351 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 6: when I was sixteen, and I remember the last Christmas 352 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 6: I spent with my family, and I remember saying, I 353 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 6: will never spend another Christmas with these people again. 354 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 8: I remember being sixteen years old. 355 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 6: No, at this point, I was eighteen, and I was 356 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 6: in a hotel by myself, like a holiday and some 357 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 6: hotel that cost like you know, it cost by an hour, 358 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 6: and I was by myself trying to get my money 359 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 6: right cause back this is back when you can fly 360 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 6: a ticket air train, no boars, and I was trying 361 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 6: to get the f ck out of the air and 362 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 6: just get away. But I was like, it's Christmas Day 363 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 6: and I'm in this nasty ass hotel by myself because 364 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 6: I was trying to see my family, and that shit 365 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 6: went real left and I'm a child at the time. 366 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 6: I felt like an adult, but I'm like, you're eighteen 367 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 6: year child and this is how you're spending the holiday, 368 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 6: and I have such a bad taste in my mouth 369 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 6: around it. 370 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I hear it that. 371 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 6: It's just when you all were talking about Thanksgiving last 372 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 6: week and like, what time did you in your family? 373 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:13,400 Speaker 6: I'm like when we did, you know, twenty five years ago, 374 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 6: thirty plus years ago, but like we not having Thanksgiving 375 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 6: dinner together. So I just want to affirm people out 376 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 6: there who are not necessarily spending the holidays with their family. 377 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,160 Speaker 6: Maybe you don't even have friends to spend the holidays 378 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 6: with that you you know, you might be going to 379 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 6: the movies or by yourself or whatever, like those things 380 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 6: are okay to create your joy. 381 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 2: Well, you always welcome here, by the way, I will share, 382 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 2: But do you always always always at our house? 383 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 8: I have every place to go. 384 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 6: People are always like come over, but sometimes I do once, 385 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,479 Speaker 6: Like sometimes I do want to be but I typically 386 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 6: go to my friend Kim Professor Kim Jones, He's a 387 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 6: dean at Howard to shout out to her. She us 388 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 6: being a civil engineering so I love talking to her 389 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 6: about water conservation. But I've been going to her house 390 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 6: for like probably the past ten years. But I'll be 391 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 6: in New York. So I was like, I'm just pop up. 392 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 2: And then you got something you should I was going 393 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 2: to tell you. 394 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,360 Speaker 6: I was like, Sonny, Liza up there, so I might 395 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 6: be at the Houstins for Thanksgiving, so we'll see or 396 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 6: I might be on the train and just come back home. 397 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 6: But I just want other people to know, like there 398 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 6: are people out there who aren't doing anything but anything, 399 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 6: you know. 400 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 2: I just I want to affirm that. And you actually 401 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 2: caused me to think a lot about a different how 402 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 2: different people show up in spaces and not everybody shows 403 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 2: up the same way. To the question of where I 404 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 2: find myself and withdrawal, I'll do two responses. One since 405 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 2: since twenty you know, eighteen, and then twenty twenty and 406 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:44,679 Speaker 2: my life big inflection points I have. I have for 407 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,479 Speaker 2: the longest of time, ever since I can remember, been 408 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 2: the one who's always had things together, you know, you know, 409 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 2: have it all together, and that kind of thing. And 410 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 2: I think part of when I don't feel like I 411 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 2: have it all together, I don't want to be pressed. 412 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,399 Speaker 2: And it's a really terrible thing because all the people 413 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 2: who want me to be president desire is to be 414 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 2: and share a space so that they can help, so 415 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 2: that they can support, so that they can do whatever 416 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 2: it is that they can do to make sure that 417 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 2: I'm propped up on whatever my leaning side is. So 418 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,679 Speaker 2: it really is me. It's not that anyone out you know, 419 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,000 Speaker 2: any of my family member or loved ones make me 420 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 2: to feel any less than it is. It's me who 421 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 2: puts myself in the place where it's like, God, I 422 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 2: just don't feel like I just I can't talk right 423 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,439 Speaker 2: now until I get this together. When I get this together, 424 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,239 Speaker 2: then I can be. Then I can talk, and then 425 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 2: I can take on what it is that you have 426 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 2: for me to take on, because I always do feel, 427 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 2: truly that on the other end, is something else for 428 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 2: me to do. And that isn't always the truth. Sometimes 429 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 2: it really just is the check in. But a lot 430 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 2: of times and this is built out of a pattern, right, 431 00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:00,080 Speaker 2: we know, patterns of behavior have conditioned us to to 432 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,959 Speaker 2: presuppose some things. So it's not without its history that 433 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 2: I said to feel that way. And then, particularly if 434 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 2: other people are down, I never want to be the 435 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,160 Speaker 2: person in the position who can't prop up, who can't 436 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 2: lift up, who can't help. And so when you don't 437 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 2: have the reservoir of support for yourself, and then even 438 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,479 Speaker 2: more when I can't rally for myself, I can somehow 439 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 2: figure out how to rally for others, But then you're 440 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:31,640 Speaker 2: both pulling up blank. It's like I will do better 441 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:36,959 Speaker 2: for everybody sometimes be absent so that we don't have 442 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 2: to we don't have to run into that situation. That's 443 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:45,439 Speaker 2: what's caused a lot of my And then second it 444 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 2: has been I've managed a lot less when by my 445 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,639 Speaker 2: like I used to have a staff and a lot 446 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 2: of folks helped with a lot of things scheduling this 447 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 2: I mean my children's doctors appointments is the third and 448 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 2: I realize now I have to pay real attention to 449 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 2: what it is I'm doing. I'm gonna muck something up, 450 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 2: and I can't muck it up with three. I can't 451 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,440 Speaker 2: have my kids waiting at the camp because I didn't 452 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 2: know it was my day today to do it, because 453 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 2: it happened once over this summer. And my son got 454 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:19,200 Speaker 2: in the car and this mfor was folded his hands 455 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 2: and he was just quiet. 456 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:20,879 Speaker 3: Are you okay? 457 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 2: And then he said fine, And I said, baby, Daddy's 458 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 2: so sorry. I got confused of who was picking you 459 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 2: up from camp today. I would never ever ever want 460 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 2: to leave you anywhere, and I'm just really sorry, and 461 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 2: his the waterfalls started just poured out, crying and when 462 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 2: he finishes, thank you daddy. I love you, Daddy, but 463 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 2: I was distressed for I mean a week because I 464 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 2: felt like my kid had the feeling of abandonment because 465 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 2: I messed it up. So I'm really concentrated. I got 466 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 2: priorities here. There are there a pecking order, and at 467 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,879 Speaker 2: the tippity top of that list, behind Jay are my 468 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 2: three kids, if not often in competition with the time 469 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,440 Speaker 2: for her. And so I gotta get that right. And 470 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 2: what I mean to say about this is that I 471 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 2: take on a lot less. I can't do twenty tasks 472 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 2: at once anymore. I have to do the thing that 473 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,040 Speaker 2: I've got to do, and when I'm done with that, 474 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 2: I'll do the next thing and then the next thing. 475 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 2: So there's self care things. But it's also like inadequacies 476 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,160 Speaker 2: that are showing up that I didn't know I had. 477 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,240 Speaker 6: We all do, Angela? Do you for your brother? Do 478 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 6: you have space for him in your life even if 479 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,880 Speaker 6: you're mad at him? Do you have space for him 480 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 6: to be in your life? 481 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 4: Yes, especially because it was very clear that that's what 482 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 4: my mom wants. And it's probably foolish of me to 483 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:58,800 Speaker 4: say this, but understanding like the connection between a parent 484 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 4: and a child. I just know, like there's there's a 485 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 4: void that she's missing that she hasn't expressed. She's far 486 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 4: less expressive than my dad is, and so yeah, like 487 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 4: it's you know, it's a conversation I even have with 488 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 4: my dad, Like listen, Mom has always said make big 489 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 4: things small, and small things nothing, and so in my mind, 490 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 4: like all of that is water under the bridge. If 491 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 4: that means that you can be present for mommy in 492 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,920 Speaker 4: a part of her healing journey and in a way 493 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 4: helping her to recover, to rebound to you know, exist 494 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 4: in whatever her new normal is. But I think it 495 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 4: would be great for him. 496 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 5: To be present. I think it'll be great for both 497 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 5: of them. 498 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 4: Honestly, I think one of the biggest worries I have 499 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 4: that I still have to yield to him is he's 500 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 4: an adult in his own sovereignty. Is you know, how 501 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 4: will you feel if you completely miss out on this 502 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 4: phase of her life? And I don't think he'd ever 503 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,239 Speaker 4: forgive himself for that. He's very like, you know, an 504 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,280 Speaker 4: EmPATH who just has you know, struggled. So I just 505 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,479 Speaker 4: I hope that he can come around to that for 506 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:04,360 Speaker 4: his own sake. But you know, I wouldn't mind if 507 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 4: we went light for just a second. Yeah, please, you 508 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:12,480 Speaker 4: guys are okay, okay, y know, I think we have 509 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 4: definitely Kari because his computer never works. I don't understand 510 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,840 Speaker 4: how Beyonce got a broke ass computer when in all 511 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,920 Speaker 4: these ways, when in all these settlements, Internet don't never work, 512 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 4: computed don't never work. So I'm trying to figure out 513 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 4: what is he spending the money on it? 514 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:33,400 Speaker 6: He said, left the conversations. 515 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 2: Conversation he would me has messed with me because I 516 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 2: wouldn't notice or care. 517 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:44,199 Speaker 4: That's so funny, you guys. Okay, So you know, there 518 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 4: might be a family member and I'm not saying it's 519 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,720 Speaker 4: in my family, that there might be a family member 520 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 4: or a friend tif of a family member who wants 521 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:58,160 Speaker 4: to make something, uh for the dinner, for the holiday dinner, 522 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:03,880 Speaker 4: and it's not tasty, but they always want to bring 523 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:04,280 Speaker 4: the thing. 524 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 7: And so. 525 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 4: Okay, Andrew said, put it on the kids table. I'm 526 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,360 Speaker 4: curious to know how you saw for it. Do you 527 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 4: try to cook the thing together? Do you send recipe ideas? 528 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,720 Speaker 4: Do you? Bacari welcome back. Abacaris joined the story because 529 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 4: we went thought we have he might not even your 530 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,160 Speaker 4: Sorry you left the conversation. 531 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 6: Well, while you're getting it together, I will enquiry. 532 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, go ahead, tip, he'll understand what it is 533 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 5: by it. 534 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 8: Okay. 535 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 6: So it's in the situation where somebody doesn't cook well. 536 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,359 Speaker 6: I have to tell you, in forty six years of 537 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 6: holidays of friends, I've only spent holidays with black families, 538 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 6: and I have never encountered someone who did not make 539 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,080 Speaker 6: something well. So I hear these stories all the time. 540 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,680 Speaker 6: Now people make things I don't eat, but that doesn't 541 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,400 Speaker 6: mean it wasn't cooked well. But my grandmother was one 542 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 6: of the best cooked. She taught all of her sons 543 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,119 Speaker 6: that she had, all boys, she taught them how to cook. 544 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 6: Like we all learned from her how to cook extended family. 545 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,880 Speaker 6: She was the person to teach everybody how to cook 546 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 6: and then an other. I mean, I grew up in 547 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 6: Atlanta and Cleveland, so you did not meet black folks 548 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 6: who couldn't throw down. They had their own recipe. I 549 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,440 Speaker 6: started to hit you in the chat, anst'll be like, 550 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,160 Speaker 6: drop that seafood recipe. I just don't know. I haven't 551 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,240 Speaker 6: made dressing since I stopped eating meat, So I'm like, damn, 552 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,359 Speaker 6: how do I even make the dressing if because I 553 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 6: would make the turkey stock and put it in the dressing. 554 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 6: So I'm like, how would I do that now? And 555 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 6: I was like, I could try to make that seafood 556 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 6: dressing and ANSL was talking about but I'm like, I 557 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,920 Speaker 6: don't even know how to do the dressing without the meat. 558 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 6: So I might be the person, you know that would 559 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,640 Speaker 6: mess it up this year. But I've always had really 560 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 6: great culinary experiences with us. 561 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 5: I have had them. 562 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, I real quick, tif I wanted to just black 563 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 4: free my my cornbread dressing still got smoke turkey in it, 564 00:26:55,840 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 4: and trying to figure out a remix for you. I will, 565 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 4: I'll figure it out. Go ahead, a G I'm sorry, No, 566 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 4: I said, I think you got to. 567 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 2: When somebody makes a bad dish, one I would ask 568 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:13,439 Speaker 2: yourself before interfering, do they know that everybody knows that 569 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 2: this is not a good dish? 570 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 8: Because sometimes have you had the bad dish? 571 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 5: Andrew? 572 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 2: And what was just saying? I know, because if you 573 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 2: if you make it to our table for thanksgiving up dish, 574 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 2: you don't you just don't show up at people's stuff 575 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 2: putting you bring can sodas. 576 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 5: Or the people in your family. 577 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:43,240 Speaker 2: Everybody, well, yes, but everybody can't cook everything the best. 578 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 2: Some people better. 579 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 8: So you have had an experience where somebody I have. 580 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 2: A family member who changed the type of macaroni they 581 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,560 Speaker 2: used for the macaroni. What do you call them? Can't 582 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 2: even tell you the name other stuff, but but they 583 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 2: were all kind of shapes and stuff and stuff, and 584 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 2: it was different than the regular macro and it maybe 585 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 2: it looked really nice in the dish, but everybody revolted. 586 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 4: Even taste it when it's wrong. It's not an elbow. 587 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 4: We got a problem is nobody asked. 588 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 6: Made spaghetti mac and cheese. 589 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 2: Like you want to do. 590 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 5: Mom. I remember, I was like, what is this? They 591 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 5: were like, oh, this is macrod was like, no, it's 592 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 5: not just a spaghetti with cheese on it. I don't 593 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 5: like that. That's disrespectful. 594 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 8: We've had both. 595 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 6: We it's never just spaghetti like somebody always does a 596 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 6: regular mac and cheese. 597 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 5: And but I'm like, oh, I didn't tell you. 598 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 4: This must be a Midwest thing because it's another Midwest moment. 599 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 4: Because I'm like, do not do this, guys, don't do this. 600 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 4: This is unacceptable. I don't know why it has to 601 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 4: be an elbow, but I need it to be an elbow. 602 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 2: I don't want to know. 603 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 5: I don't want to know. 604 00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 4: Uh listen, I want that. 605 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 2: I was. 606 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 6: That what's the ones The elbow is good because the 607 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 6: cheese gets in there, like the juice gets in there. 608 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 2: So I don't know any of these. But the mac 609 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 2: and cheese you see, you know, regular space tables, yes, 610 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,120 Speaker 2: But the other stuff is you know, you might think 611 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 2: it's pretty and and Guiata or whoever on TV you 612 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 2: know did it, but you know, just don't bring it 613 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 2: to Thanksgiving, Just just use it for another day. 614 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 4: But Kari, do you have somebody in your family that 615 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 4: can't cook but insists on cooking? And if so, how 616 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,680 Speaker 4: do you deal with telling them please don't bring this back. 617 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 1: No, we don't play them games something Thanksgiving? You better experiment, 618 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: experiment on the child's birthday. Hell, they can't tell, no difference. 619 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 2: But Angela, I was asking two questions. Are one. If 620 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 2: they're aware, then maybe they're just letting you know. They 621 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 2: don't give up, right. 622 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 7: I think that's in which case then you have permission 623 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 7: not to give a But if it is the case 624 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 7: that they are not aware, that everybody shares this opinion 625 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 7: and you good with cousin. I would pull cousins to 626 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 7: the side and just say, you know, those those greens, 627 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 7: and I know you love doing them, but I just think, 628 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 7: I think Thanksgiving is not going to be the time anymore. 629 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 2: And I'm wondering, if you have another dish, you. 630 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 5: Might They're not gonna say nothing about the greens because 631 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 5: I make the greens. 632 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 4: But let me ask you all this, what about any 633 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 4: political drama that comes up during the holiday. It's like, well, 634 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 4: I have a cousin that voted for Trump and he 635 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,760 Speaker 4: decided to make an announcement about that at the last 636 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:41,400 Speaker 4: like big. 637 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 5: Christmas, like he was supporting Trump. 638 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 4: I was so outdone because it was sixty niggas in 639 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 4: the house with matching pajamas on. 640 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 2: We used to have a Republican uncle. 641 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000 Speaker 8: I saw those pictures that year. 642 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 2: Would you say, no, we have a I have an 643 00:30:55,200 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 2: uncle who when he you know, voted Republicans quite a 644 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 2: bit for a number of years administrations and whatnot. And 645 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 2: when I was younger, like middle school, high school, younger, 646 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 2: I would like engage him, and now nobody it's I mean, 647 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 2: hell no, and we're not having political debates. 648 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 6: Yeah right now, yeah, everybody sitting around talking about crazy 649 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 6: it is. It's definitely not. Nobody's introducing the counterpoint. Nobody's 650 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 6: talking about. 651 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,160 Speaker 2: But I never said that. Watch the words. 652 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 5: He did. 653 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 8: Angie did not say that I'm to. 654 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 2: Go the kal home. You don't know what you know 655 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:49,120 Speaker 2: what the rocks outside they deserve kicking you, but. 656 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 4: You do. 657 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 8: You have political conversation. 658 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,080 Speaker 3: Thanksgiving is easy. 659 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 4: The fact that here with Mary a beef story late 660 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 4: with broke internet and you ain't. 661 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,880 Speaker 2: You can't go ahead and release us with just just 662 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 2: close us out. 663 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: First of all, First of all, with the bullying of 664 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: the guys, it stopped the episode one hundred So Andrew, 665 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,400 Speaker 1: I got your back forever and always welcome home, y'all, come. 666 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 2: Home, home home. 667 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: That is, that's how, That's how you stopped somebody hand 668 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 1: on the beef. 669 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,560 Speaker 4: You just he exited the conversation, came back and exited 670 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 4: again to. 671 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 2: You know, he finds really convenient. 672 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,719 Speaker 6: Can I do a quick call to action for our 673 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,719 Speaker 6: viewers because Christmas is coming out? 674 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 2: So thank you. 675 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 6: That was on another episode, on this episode, because we're 676 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 6: talking about beef and Christmas, Thanksgiving this past and Christmas 677 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 6: is coming up. I do want to hear from people 678 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,920 Speaker 6: all the things that we talked about. So if you 679 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,120 Speaker 6: have a family member that makes something like, drop us 680 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 6: a comment and let us know how you're handling. 681 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 8: What if you have a beef, what was the dish? 682 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 8: What was the problem with the dish? 683 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 6: And how did your family handle or if there's other 684 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 6: beef that you're anticipating this Christmas holiday. I'm just I 685 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,959 Speaker 6: just want to be in your business. Yeah, give us 686 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 6: the drama. I want to hear. And on a serious note, 687 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,200 Speaker 6: I do want to tell people who this is. Something 688 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 6: is happening at college campuses. And so a friend of 689 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 6: mine was explaining to me that because of their final schedule, 690 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,080 Speaker 6: a lot of kids can't go home for Thanksgiving. They 691 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 6: have to stay and so they're for young people. Anybody 692 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:32,920 Speaker 6: who's like spending the holidays alone. Live in abundance and 693 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 6: just know that, yeah, like this, because you're out with 694 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 6: a bunch of people doesn't mean it's a bad time 695 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:38,720 Speaker 6: or a bad day. 696 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 8: Your futures are bright and ahead of you. 697 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 6: And I, like I said, I'll be with tamern Ers 698 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 6: any or who knows where I'll be for Christmas. 699 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,320 Speaker 8: Remember that year we flew. 700 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 2: To I just heard that you and uh Leticia James 701 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 2: are gonna have a very great holiday started with Thanksgiving. 702 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 4: Yes, well, very good that we celebrating it with them 703 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 4: on the other side of Thanksgiving today, and I just 704 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,520 Speaker 4: you know, I just I just want to tell people 705 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,920 Speaker 4: to make sure you resolve conflict. Life is not long, 706 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,600 Speaker 4: it is very short, and so make sure you get 707 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 4: through it. Please tell us your business. We definitely told 708 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 4: you ours, but thank you, and I hope that you 709 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,839 Speaker 4: all arrest on the other side of this holiday. Get 710 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,880 Speaker 4: it pedicure, manicure, but still make sure you ain't buying it. 711 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 5: On this on this Black Friday. So y'all, Welcome home. 712 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 1: Welcome home, Welcome home, y'all. Native Lampard is a production 713 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,040 Speaker 1: of iHeart Radio and partnership with Reason Choice Media. For 714 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,440 Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, 715 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,640 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.