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Speaker 1: The Jesse Kelly Show. Another hour of The Jesse Kelly Show.

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Speaker 1: As we close in on a weekend here because Fridays

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Speaker 1: are part of the weekend on The Jesse Kelly Show

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Speaker 1: because they're asked, Doctor Jesse Fridays headline. By the way,

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Speaker 1: email your questions in right now Jesse at Jesse Kelly

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Speaker 1: Show dot com. DC. That's the Comic book Place releases

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Speaker 1: a comic with a pregnant Joker who births the Sun. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to elaborate much on a DC comic

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Speaker 1: book because I don't care. This is just yet another

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Speaker 1: one of those things we check in to remind you,

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Speaker 1: to remind everybody that the communist is. It's not a

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Speaker 1: political ideology, all right. He's not political, He's really not.

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Speaker 1: He's religious. It is a religion. He is a religious zealot.

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Speaker 1: So if you were making a comic book, you would

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Speaker 1: try to make one that was funny or entertaining or

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Speaker 1: something something you would do. You would make a comic books,

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Speaker 1: like if you sat down to write, you would write

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Speaker 1: a book that you hoped would appeal to the masses

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Speaker 1: that you will, you would write a comic book. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna sell a million copies. I don't know how many

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Speaker 1: copies comic books sells. It's not my thing. But that's

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Speaker 1: how you would do. That's what I would do. Let's

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Speaker 1: go make money the communist. The communist doesn't write comic

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Speaker 1: books like that. He doesn't think like that. Oh he

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Speaker 1: likes money just fine. He likes stealing yours. He sits

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Speaker 1: down to write, and he sits down to write with

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Speaker 1: a purpose. He sits down and he writes with the

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Speaker 1: intent to convert you, or convert more importantly, your children.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think they're comic books? Now? Why do

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Speaker 1: you think? Why do you think the drag queens are

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Speaker 1: reading books to kids in the library? Do you remember

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Speaker 1: do you remember drag queen reading for adults in the library?

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Speaker 1: Do you remember that? Oh you don't. That's weird. It

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Speaker 1: is weird how the drag queens focus on the kids,

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Speaker 1: isn't it? Sure there's no reason behind that at all.

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Speaker 1: Let's get to some emails before we get to me

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Speaker 1: agreeing with the New York Times. Dear designer dog, Kelly,

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Speaker 1: It's it's not a designer dog, all right. It's not Chris.

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Speaker 1: It's a golden doodle. By the way, Chris asked me

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Speaker 1: coming back from the break, Do I have any experience

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Speaker 1: bathing a cat? Chris, I would never own a cat,

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Speaker 1: all right, I had. We had a couple of cats

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Speaker 1: when I was a small child. One I watched getting

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Speaker 1: mowed down by a car in front of me. So

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Speaker 1: that's part of why you see what you see today.

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Speaker 1: That's part of why I am the way I am.

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Speaker 1: That my cat actually got it better than my sister's cat. This,

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Speaker 1: this story is hilarious. So my sister's cat was smaller

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Speaker 1: a kitten, and my old man was splitting firewood. He

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Speaker 1: was out splitting firewood, and so he now, Chris, the

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Speaker 1: story is even worse than you can imagine. So the

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Speaker 1: old man's out there and he's splitting firewood. I'm too

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Speaker 1: young to help. In case you're wondering, he's splitting firewood,

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Speaker 1: and he's splitting the logs, and he's grabbing him and

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Speaker 1: he's chucking him in the back of his pickup truck.

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Speaker 1: You split him, you chuck him, You split him, you

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Speaker 1: chuck him. It's just over and over and over again.

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Speaker 1: Splitting firewood's hard work. I did it a lot of

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Speaker 1: my life, a lot of my childhood. He splits, one

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Speaker 1: grabs the log, turns chucks it. You're not really looking.

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Speaker 1: Guess what's sitting right where he chucked log. Cat cat dead.

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Speaker 1: My old man now has a dead cat on his hands,

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Speaker 1: and it's his daughter's cat. So he did what I

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Speaker 1: totally support told her it ran away. Barry the evidence

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Speaker 1: told her it went away. He never admitted it to

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Speaker 1: her for years. So No. The only other time I've

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Speaker 1: really had any experience with cats, Chris, I'm not a

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Speaker 1: cat guy. The only time I've ever had experience with

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Speaker 1: cats was this. I would the wife. The wife and

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Speaker 1: I were dating, and she had to go do something

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Speaker 1: for I think it was for gymnastics or something like that,

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Speaker 1: and she had a cat and it was terrible and

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Speaker 1: she couldn't get anyone to watch it, and she asked

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Speaker 1: me if I would keep it in my apartment with

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Speaker 1: me for I think it was a week or something

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Speaker 1: like that. A week or two weeks. I hated that

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Speaker 1: freaking thing so much. Now I didn't do anything to it, right.

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Speaker 1: I fed the cat and I cleaned up it's low

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Speaker 1: poop and stuff like that. But the cat was so

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Speaker 1: bad it would jump up on the counter and start

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Speaker 1: knocking stuff off the counter, and then I would get

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Speaker 1: mad and I wanted it to stop breaking my stuff.

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Speaker 1: Because I didn't have any money, I couldn't buy any

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Speaker 1: new stuff. If you break plates, that's the last plate

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Speaker 1: I've got. I'm eating on a paper towel. Right, please

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Speaker 1: stop right breaking the plates. So I put the cat

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Speaker 1: in the hat a bathroom I had a little like

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Speaker 1: half bath, extra bath. I would go in later to

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Speaker 1: check on the cat. The thing had torn up all

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Speaker 1: the toilet paper and stuff like that. So I hated

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Speaker 1: that cat, and she knew I hated it. True story.

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Speaker 1: Asked her to marry me, said yes, before we got married,

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Speaker 1: she gave away your cat. To this day, no, hear

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Speaker 1: me out, Chris, hear me out. To this day, she

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Speaker 1: lies and tells people that I quote made her giveaway

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Speaker 1: the cat. I did not make her giveaway the cat.

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Speaker 1: That is a lie. And then when I call her

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Speaker 1: on the lie, she says, well, I knew you didn't

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Speaker 1: want it. That's not the same as making Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: not the same as making at all. All Right, back

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Speaker 1: to the email. Sorry, dear designer dog Kelly, on your

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Speaker 1: journey to make the world's greatest cheeseburger. Did you ever

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Speaker 1: try Original Tabasco before settling on Chipotle? If so, how

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Speaker 1: did it turn out? Original Tabasco is the best hot

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Speaker 1: sauce ever in my opinion? All right, let's have a

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Speaker 1: talk before we get into the speaker race and the

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Speaker 1: New York Times again, before we get into that. It's

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Speaker 1: have a little talk here. Tabasco sauce, the original sucks.

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Speaker 1: It's garbage. I hear you say that's the best hot

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Speaker 1: sauce every And you know what I hear. You know

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Speaker 1: what I hear, sir. I hear an amateur, That's what

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Speaker 1: I hear. I hear somebody who's never tried Cage and

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Speaker 1: Chef or Texas Pete or my goodness, I could go

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Speaker 1: on Cholula's fantastic. And those are just the bigger name

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Speaker 1: brand ones. There are a million smaller name brand ones

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Speaker 1: that are just dynamite, absolutely dynamite. But I will give

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Speaker 1: Tabasco Sauce credit for this. Here's something you may not know.

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Speaker 1: MRIs and the Marines. We would eat MRI's all right now.

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Speaker 1: Part of an MRI a meal ready to eat in

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Speaker 1: cassroom running? What that stands for? Part of it? Is?

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Speaker 1: It always has a quote main course, and they're in

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Speaker 1: these kind of thick it's not tinfoil, but like a

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Speaker 1: thick foil sleeve is what the main course is in,

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Speaker 1: all sealed up because it's got a shelf life of

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Speaker 1: like a thousand years. Very good for you got a

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Speaker 1: shelf life of like a thousand years. And it's it

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Speaker 1: can be gross. They're almost always gross. It can be

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Speaker 1: not bad, like the spaghetti with meat sauces and bad.

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Speaker 1: But there's this foil sleeve part of the MRI. At

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Speaker 1: least this is how it was. I'm assuming it's still

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Speaker 1: this way as they have another sleeve in or the

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Speaker 1: pouches for the food are that. It's a food pouch,

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Speaker 1: but they have another sleeve. It's a green sleeve, and

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Speaker 1: what it has in it is some sort of chemical

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Speaker 1: that if you add water to whatever chemical is in

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Speaker 1: the green sleeve, it gets super super hot. So you

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Speaker 1: would take your main course, you would take your food pouch.

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Speaker 1: You slip it in the green sleeve. The idea was

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Speaker 1: you slip it in the green sleeve and then you

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Speaker 1: pour a little water in there. You seal it up,

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Speaker 1: did a little bit. You see it if you seal

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Speaker 1: it up too much, it'll blow up. You seal it

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Speaker 1: up a little bit, let the water boil. It essentially

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Speaker 1: fast cooks your meal. You can have a hot meal.

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Speaker 1: It's a really genius system, to be frank, it's kind

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Speaker 1: of cool. That was the idea behind it. But because

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Speaker 1: we were in the Marines, and because we were in

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Speaker 1: the infantry, we quickly found ways we could hurt each

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Speaker 1: other with it. And that's so much fun. Because another

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Speaker 1: part of an MRI is this. They send you a

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Speaker 1: wee little pouch with every single one. Again, this is

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Speaker 1: how it was. I don't know if it's still this way,

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Speaker 1: and there are a few different things in the pouch.

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Speaker 1: There's a wee little thing rolled up toilet paper. You

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Speaker 1: learn to save all those pretty quickly. I might point

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Speaker 1: out little thing of rolled up, crappy toilet paper and

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Speaker 1: things like that. Another part of every MRI, at least

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Speaker 1: it was when I was in There's a little mini

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Speaker 1: bottle of Tabasco. You've seen the little mini bottles at

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Speaker 1: Tabasco before. We little mini bottle at Tabasco. Let's circle

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Speaker 1: back to that sleeve with the chemicals in it. Let's

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Speaker 1: just say you're out in the field, remember there are

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Speaker 1: no smartphones. We didn't even own them anymore anyway, they

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Speaker 1: hadn't been invented. Let's say you're awake and kind of bored,

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Speaker 1: because boredom can happen in the field, and you have

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Speaker 1: an MRI in your possession, and let's just say for

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Speaker 1: the sake of argument, your buddies are in a tent

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Speaker 1: or some kind of covered area and they're catching the

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Speaker 1: nap maybe or maybe it's the morning and it's time

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Speaker 1: for them to wake up. You could go gently nudge

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Speaker 1: them awake, or you could take that chemical sleeve with

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Speaker 1: the chemicals in it, and you take that lead a

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Speaker 1: bottle with Tabasco sauce and you screw the lid off

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Speaker 1: and you pour that Tabasco sauce in that sleeve. Might

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Speaker 1: I recommend you hold your breath and be very quick

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Speaker 1: about this process. Hold your breath, dump the Tabasco sauce

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Speaker 1: in the sleeve. Then you take the sleeve, and this

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Speaker 1: time you don't be careful about it. You seal it

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Speaker 1: up super super tight, a super tight roll on there.

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Speaker 1: And then what you do is you quickly but quietly,

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Speaker 1: remember stealth as the name of this game, You quickly

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Speaker 1: but quietly slip into your buddies hooch, or just slip

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Speaker 1: it in from the outside and you drop that little

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Speaker 1: sleeve in there, and then you really need to get

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Speaker 1: away quickly, because here's what you're going to hear, very

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Speaker 1: very shortly. You're going to hear a very very very

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Speaker 1: loud pop that in and of itself is very unpleasant.

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Speaker 1: When that bag bursts, it's a very loud pop. So

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Speaker 1: you will hear a pop, and then you will hear

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Speaker 1: whoever was asleep there uttering words that you can't say

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Speaker 1: in front of your mother, and then you will hear

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Speaker 1: the coughing. Coughing is just beautiful as the chemical pepper

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Speaker 1: you just dropped on them and gulfs their eyes and

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Speaker 1: their lungs and they almost die on the way out.

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Speaker 1: Freaking hilarious. I might point out, now that we've gotten

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Speaker 1: through that, let's talk about the New York Times and

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Speaker 1: the speaker run. Hang on, it's the Jesse Kelly Show.

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Speaker 1: It is the Jesse Kelly Show. I am so happy

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Speaker 1: to be here. This is the greatest non job in

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Speaker 1: the history of the world. What a blast. So I

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Speaker 1: have great news for you, and this is really really

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Speaker 1: great news. One if you miss any part of the show.

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Speaker 1: You can download the whole thing on iHeart, Google, Spotify,

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Speaker 1: and iTunes. Download the podcast two. The government now at

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Speaker 1: least a branch has been totally neutered. It's fantastic. Listen now.

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Speaker 1: I know. I know the New York Times meant this

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Speaker 1: to be some disastrous article. It's the end of the

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Speaker 1: world that we don't have a speaker of the House.

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Speaker 1: But as I kept reading the article, I got happier

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Speaker 1: and happier and happier. So I'm just gonna read it

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Speaker 1: and you and I we're just gonna take a minute.

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Speaker 1: We're just gonna smile. Wait a minute, should that be

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Speaker 1: you and me? Chris? I get confused. I went to

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Speaker 1: community college. It was you and I. I did that right?

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Speaker 1: What am I asking you for? We need to ask Michael.

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Speaker 1: He's the one that went to college anyway, heyline, lacking

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Speaker 1: a speaker, one part of the government ceases the function.

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Speaker 1: Without the Speaker of the United States, This is from

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Speaker 1: the article in New York Times, the United States House

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Speaker 1: of Representatives essentially becomes a useless entity because none of

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Speaker 1: its members can be sworn in until a speaker has chosen.

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Speaker 1: There are no lawmakers to respond to an emergency or crisis. Now,

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Speaker 1: hold on, let's just sponse on that for just a

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Speaker 1: quick moment here. We can't respond to a crisis because

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Speaker 1: I remember, gosh, it seems like it was only yesterday

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Speaker 1: that there was a quote Cristius called COVID Do you

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Speaker 1: remember that? Remember I remember that? And do you remember

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Speaker 1: how Congress responded to the crisis? Did did the congressional

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Speaker 1: response to that crisis? Did it help the country? Or

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Speaker 1: did it basically destroy the country? So you're threatening me

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Speaker 1: with Congress not being able to respond to another crisis.

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Speaker 1: But wait, there's more. He thought that was the end.

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Speaker 1: There's actually more. And it's even more fantastic that he

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Speaker 1: goes on to say, lacking a speaker, the House cannot

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Speaker 1: carry out its responsibility for oversight of the federal government

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Speaker 1: or any other entity. Um, was there oversight before? Did I?

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Speaker 1: Did I miss the oversight? Did I miss the part

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Speaker 1: where the FBI had its funding stripped and had virtually

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Speaker 1: every single person in leadership subpoena to come before the House.

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Speaker 1: Did I miss that part? Because I really feel like

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Speaker 1: I've missed that part. Now, don't get me wrong, I've

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Speaker 1: seen plenty of hearings, and they give us these great

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Speaker 1: sound bites for radio. But real oversight it's actually not hearings.

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Speaker 1: Did you know that rio oversight comes with consequences. Let's say,

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Speaker 1: like me doing my radio show. Let's focus on me

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Speaker 1: for the time bringing being the time being, let's say

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Speaker 1: the radio show was a disaster. It's just family. It

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Speaker 1: just sucked. No one's listening, no one's downloading it. Just

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Speaker 1: the show just sucked. Do you think the suits at

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Speaker 1: Premier as wonderful as they have been to me? Do

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Speaker 1: you think their oversight would be, hey, Jesse show isn't

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Speaker 1: doing that good? Or do you think it would be, Hey,

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Speaker 1: Jesse Show isn't doing that good? And if it doesn't

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Speaker 1: start doing good, you're going to have to go back

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Speaker 1: and sell RVs again because you can't do this anymore. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: real oversight is not pointing out bad, it's pointing out

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Speaker 1: bad with consequences. So you're telling me that we don't

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Speaker 1: have a speaker, we don't have oversight. When did we

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Speaker 1: have oversight before? I must have missed all that. Oh

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Speaker 1: but wait, there's more. Returning lawmakers have lost their security

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Speaker 1: clearances to get private briefings from the military and intelligence

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Speaker 1: agencies because having not been sworn in, they're not officially

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Speaker 1: members of Congress. So you mean the intelligence briefings that

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Speaker 1: they've been getting, especially over the last oh I don't know,

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Speaker 1: for six years now, that they have promptly gone and

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Speaker 1: leaked to the media in an effort to make any

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Speaker 1: and every single Republican look bad. I'm supposed to be

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Speaker 1: concerned that they're not allowed to get those briefings anymore.

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Speaker 1: Where's the bad part? See you see what I mean.

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Speaker 1: We've been so caught up, not us here, not on

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Speaker 1: this show, but everyone else seems to have been so

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Speaker 1: caught up in this disaster out there, the disaster. It's

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Speaker 1: so embarrassing. Oh my gosh, it's the end of the world.

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Speaker 1: We don't have a Speaker of the House. What are

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Speaker 1: we gonna do? We look stupid? Wait? Oh, do you

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Speaker 1: hear the sirens? Chris can the speaker? The speaker can't

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Speaker 1: pick it up. Oh I hate these high qualities speakers.

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Speaker 1: They never pick up the good stuff. Anyway, We focus

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Speaker 1: on this stupid Speaker of the House thing, and we

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Speaker 1: don't have a House of representatives. Whether or not we

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Speaker 1: have a speaker or not, we don't have oversight. We

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Speaker 1: have a bunch of weapons grade losers in there. Why

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Speaker 1: are you stressing about something that doesn't matter at all.

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Speaker 1: I don't stress about it. You know what I should

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Speaker 1: dress about. I stress about going to work and the

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Speaker 1: money I earn inadvertently using it to fund people who

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Speaker 1: hate my guts. That's what I stress about. Like I

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Speaker 1: saw a headline here Salesforce to cut ten percent of

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Speaker 1: the workforce in the latest tech layoffs. That's outstanding because

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Speaker 1: Salesforce is one of the most evil companies, most communist

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Speaker 1: companies in the United States of America today. That's good.

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Speaker 1: Do you use Salesforce? Did you pay them for that? Now?

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Speaker 1: Maybe you don't have any choice, but just the heads up.

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Speaker 1: Do you use Verizon? Is that your cell phone company?

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Speaker 1: T Mobile? AT and T? Did you go to work

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Speaker 1: today and earn money that then you will then turn

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Speaker 1: around and send to the communists to trash you. Look,

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Speaker 1: if you need any motivation here, let me let me

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Speaker 1: do this for you. Maybe you have AT and T

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Speaker 1: or tam Mobile or Verizon or one of these big ones.

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Speaker 1: I want you to do me a favor. I want

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Speaker 1: you to go just do a search, do an Internet

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Speaker 1: search what is it? Duck dot go, Chris, is that

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Speaker 1: the moment like Duck duck go, do a duck duckt

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Speaker 1: go search for Verizon and Pride month. And I want

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Speaker 1: you to tell me. Are you happy that that's what

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Speaker 1: you're paying for? Because you can switch to Pure Talk.

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Speaker 1: They've never done that. They'll never do that to you.

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Speaker 1: Their CEO's a veteran. Their customer service based in America.

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Speaker 1: They love this country. Same grade five G network is

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Speaker 1: one of those big guys. And you save a pile

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Speaker 1: of money, why wouldn't you switch dio pound two five zero,

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Speaker 1: say Jesse Kelly. That'll save you an additional fifty percent

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Speaker 1: off your first month. That's on tap. You look, if

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Speaker 1: that didn't exist, you would still save a fortune. Dial

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Speaker 1: pound two five zero, say Jesse Kelly. All right, yeh

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Speaker 1: have some anti communism apparently, hang on it. The Jesse

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Speaker 1: Kelly Show. Halfway done with The Jesse Kelly Show, which

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Speaker 1: means we're halfway home to and Ask Doctor Jesse Friday,

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Speaker 1: which begins tomorrow. Remember email your questions all three hours

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Speaker 1: answering your questions, email them into Jesse at Jesse Kelly

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Speaker 1: show dot com. When kids are small before I get

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Speaker 1: to the good anti communism news. When kids are small,

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Speaker 1: as a father, you will take so much joy in

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Speaker 1: telling hilarious lies to them. Like my kids, I used

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Speaker 1: to tell them that I was a Jedi, that I

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Speaker 1: just didn't move things with my mind because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to intimidate them. I told them I was the

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Speaker 1: incredible Hulk, and they started catching on. They're like, why

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Speaker 1: haven't we ever seen you turn green? And I said, well,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to hurt you guys, so I try

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Speaker 1: to I do. I wait, I do it at night

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Speaker 1: when you're not around. I used to tell him, and

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Speaker 1: then we believe those lives because kids are stupid. But

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Speaker 1: now as they get older, they're not stupid anymore. And

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Speaker 1: now mine are so jaded. So I'm having a great

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Speaker 1: time at my oldest son's expense as we speak, because

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Speaker 1: he's a runner. He does cross country and track. He's

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Speaker 1: one of those weirdios who loves to run, which is horrible,

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Speaker 1: but he runs. And I had told him to go

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Speaker 1: for a run when he got home from school. So

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Speaker 1: I texted him and I said, did you go for

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Speaker 1: a run? He said, no, I injured my leg at school.

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Speaker 1: I think I pulled something. I'm not sure and text

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Speaker 1: said him, I said, you pulled it on your run

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Speaker 1: and he said he said no at school. And I said,

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Speaker 1: we'll go for a run and find out. And then

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Speaker 1: he said, texted back, it hurts to walk on it.

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Speaker 1: And I texted right back, we'll find out if running hurts. Ah. See,

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Speaker 1: you people who are just now having kids, you need

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Speaker 1: to embrace the joy of making their lives visible. That's

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Speaker 1: part of being a parent, all right, that's a that's

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Speaker 1: part of the joy. Chris, You're gonna have so much

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Speaker 1: fun when you guys start having kids. No, they're oh,

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Speaker 1: at first they suck. No, I know they suck at first.

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Speaker 1: That's woman's time. No, not five years. No, that's crazy. No,

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Speaker 1: that's crazy. No newborn babies or woman's time. I would

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Speaker 1: say within six months to a year, they start getting fun.

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Speaker 1: And dude, by the time they're two, they're a blast.

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Speaker 1: They're just terrible and they're running around, they're chuck and stuff. No,

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Speaker 1: it's it's more fun than you think. What, Chris, your

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Speaker 1: sleep schedule, it depends on the kid, and it depends

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Speaker 1: on how you raise them. Here's what we did. Look here,

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Speaker 1: it's just you and me talking here. Here's what we

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Speaker 1: did with our kids. We had a belief. Everyone has

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Speaker 1: different beliefs, all right. We had a belief that we

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Speaker 1: wanted our kids out of our room quickly. Now not

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Speaker 1: right away, but out of our room. We didn't want

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Speaker 1: them in bed with us. We wanted out our out

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Speaker 1: of our room. So I believe we gave them each

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Speaker 1: two weeks. It might be three, but two weeks. We

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Speaker 1: took them home from the hospital. When we got home

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Speaker 1: and we had one of those things. I'm sure they

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Speaker 1: have cooler stuff now, but they have these things that

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Speaker 1: automatically rock the kid. It's like crater. I'm sure they

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Speaker 1: have better stuff now, but that's what we had. So

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Speaker 1: we put the kid in there, automatically rocked, and we

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Speaker 1: kept him in our bedroom with us for a couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks. So you're gonna do that anyway. Your wife's

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Speaker 1: gonna be so paranoid, especially with your first anytime the

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Speaker 1: kid moves, she's gonna be standing up. He is he okay,

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Speaker 1: you know that kind of a thing. It's just what

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Speaker 1: they do. So after that, we took them out and

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Speaker 1: we put them in their own room where we had

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Speaker 1: a crib setup. It was two again. I think it

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Speaker 1: was two weeks my oldest. He was the difficult one.

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Speaker 1: We put him in his room and he pitched a

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Speaker 1: fit for two straight nights, two straight nights. He cried

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Speaker 1: all night, but we wouldn't go in there and get him.

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Speaker 1: Were look, hey, the wife's toughest nails. Do you think

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Speaker 1: I'm tough? The wife's a gymnast, all right, so the

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Speaker 1: wife's stuff is nails. We wouldn't go get him. It

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Speaker 1: was hard. You want to straight nights we let him cry,

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Speaker 1: sit there and cry. I don't care. Finally, third night gone,

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Speaker 1: never was a problem again. Second kid even easier. Took

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Speaker 1: him out after two weeks. We're waiting for two nights

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Speaker 1: of no sleep again. Right, Oh gosh, here it comes.

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Speaker 1: Put him in his crib. First night, walk away, close

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Speaker 1: the door out, never woke up again. He'sa slays down immediately.

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Speaker 1: Finally my own place. But look, and I'm not some

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Speaker 1: parenting expert, and I'm certainly not some baby expert. There

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Speaker 1: are a lot of people listening right now that have

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Speaker 1: raised a lot more kids, and have raised them a

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Speaker 1: lot better than I did. I've got too, all right,

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Speaker 1: They're not then turn out pretty good so far. A

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00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 1: lot of it's what you make of it. If you're

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Speaker 1: one of these people, or your wife is one of

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Speaker 1: these people who insist, no, the baby needs to be

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Speaker 1: in bed with us for the first ten years. No,

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Speaker 1: they never. If you can't handle a little crying. If you,

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Speaker 1: if or she can't handle a little crying, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: make yourself miserable. But that's the best I canady. You're

413
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 1: just gonna make yourself miserable. Desantist is making communists visible

414
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 1: in Florida. Headline Desantist puts woke colleges on notice and

415
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: tells them to hand over diversity receipts. This is from

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Speaker 1: the Daily Wire. This is a memo addressed to Florida's

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Speaker 1: Education commission Commissioner and their state university system. Basically, they've

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Speaker 1: been told to gather all the data on diversity initiatives,

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Speaker 1: which are just communists initiatives and higher education and submit it. Why,

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Speaker 1: because Florida their legislature, they're beginning their budget proposals. Think

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00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 1: if you're at one of these universities, think how scared

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00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: you are right now? And that is why you and

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Speaker 1: I need to demand anti communism for our g OP

424
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 1: because think of what the situation they're in right now.

425
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 1: These are all universities pushing all this equity and diversity

426
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: and all the communist stuff that's out there. Florida's demanding

427
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 1: to know what they're teaching before they stroke any state

428
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: school any more money. How much are your hands shaking

429
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 1: if you're at one of these universities and you're sending

430
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 1: that proposal in to the Randa Santis led legislature of

431
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: Florida and you know that next check you get from

432
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 1: the state might be a lead little bit smaller than

433
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,360
Speaker 1: the last check because of what you did. If we

434
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: don't demand that Republicans punish communists for being communists, then

435
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: we will never overcome them. Remember this, I don't care

436
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 1: if this makes you uncomfortable. Against not your mommy's show,

437
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: it's your daddy's show. Communists only understand fear and pain.

438
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 1: That's all they understand. I'm sorry. I wish you could

439
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: reason with them. I wish they could see you and

440
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: how happy you are and how hard you work. And

441
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 1: they would say, man, look look Gatina. Look at her.

442
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 1: She's a wife and a mom, makes a great home.

443
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: Look at how content she is. You know what I'm

444
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: done being a feminist, hag. I'm gonna let my hair

445
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: grow out. No more cup cuts for me. I may

446
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: even have some children, I might choose to love them

447
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 1: and my husband. You think that day is going to come,

448
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 1: but it's never going to come. All she understands is

449
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: fear and pain. That's all they've ever understood. That's all

450
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: they ever will understood. Unless we make the communists afraid

451
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: of something, then they will never stop. They will never

452
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: back up. Look, here's a great example this year, and

453
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,360
Speaker 1: we're going to go into this little more, but here's

454
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,199
Speaker 1: a great example. So you know, the FBI they have

455
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: currently apprehended I believe the number is nine hundred and

456
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: fifty nine. It's right around a thousand January sixth political prisoners.

457
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,479
Speaker 1: The FBI has hunted down. Many of them was swat teams,

458
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: non violent people, people who've never committed a criminal act

459
00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:00,479
Speaker 1: before in their lives. People accused of parading their sending

460
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 1: swat teams out, aiming weapons at them, handcuffing children. Your

461
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,919
Speaker 1: Federal Bureau of Investigation is doing this. They've done it

462
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: to about a thousand people. The FBI has just declared

463
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 1: on the new year that they will be going after more.

464
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: In fact, this is the exact quote. As we approach

465
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: two years since the attack on the capital capital, the

466
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: FBI and our partners investigative work continues to unfold across

467
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 1: the country, resulting in significant judicial outcomes. They go on

468
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: to explain how they're not backing off at all, They're

469
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 1: ramping this up. In fact, we have ample evidence now

470
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: that they've actually set a quota that they want to

471
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 1: arrest a thousand more, a thousand and more. They're halfway there.

472
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 1: Do you know why they're doing that? Though? The real

473
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: reason you could just say, well, they're communists over there. Yeah,

474
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 1: that's true, defenders the Democrats, that's true. But what's the

475
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 1: real reason. I'll tell you a second, fighting for your

476
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 1: freedom every day the Jesse Kelly Show. It is the

477
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show, final segment of the second hour already

478
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,640
Speaker 1: of The Jesse Kelly Show. Man, I have been so

479
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 1: good tonight. It has been really something else, all right, night, quick, quick, quick,

480
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: back to what we were just talking about. The FBI,

481
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 1: and we're talking about how the communists only understand fear

482
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 1: and pain. And after two years of all this outcry

483
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: from the public about the FBI and what they're doing.

484
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: And the FBI is perfectly aware that the trust in

485
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,400
Speaker 1: their institution is plumbering. Every single day, it's plumbting. They

486
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: see all the numbers, They see all the poll numbers.

487
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 1: They know the American public doesn't like them anymore, doesn't

488
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 1: like them, doesn't trust them. They know. And after two

489
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 1: years of all this, really four six years, to be honest,

490
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 1: after what they did to Trump, after six years of this,

491
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: they put out a public announcement, not private, a public

492
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: announcement that they're not stopping, that they're going down, that

493
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 1: they're going to continue to go down and down and

494
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 1: down and down and down. Why they're not afraid eighteen

495
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: Republican senators just voted, just voted to give them a raise.

496
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: They're not afraid of a potential GOP house. They're not

497
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 1: afraid of these people in Congress. But people gotta tell

498
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: their their congressman if they're one of those twenty, that

499
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: the House is shut down. We're not working on the

500
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: issues that we campaign time, like lowering inflation, securing the border.

501
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, I'm sorry, I know I was

502
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: talking about something else. Hold On, Sorry, did I just

503
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: hear a Republican. This is Don Bacon of Nebraska, by

504
00:28:55,520 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: the way, Did I just hear him say that they're

505
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: not working on inflation like they should be. So the

506
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: Republicans who for four years under Trump passed gigantic swampy

507
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: bill after gigantic swampy bill, trillion dollars bill after trillion

508
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: dollars bill after a trillion dollar bill, and then COVID

509
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: got here and the bills got even bigger, trillion dollars

510
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: bill after a trillion dollars bill, and the Republican party

511
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: that oversaw the printing of six seven trillion dollars in

512
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: unbacked money. Did I seriously you know I don't play

513
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: from the beginning just so I could get this? Did

514
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: he seriously say the problem is we can't meet to

515
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: work on inflation. But people gotta tell their their congressman

516
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: if they're one of those twenty that the House is

517
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: shut down. We're not working on the issues that we

518
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: can't paign time, like lowering inflation. But stop at my

519
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 1: face hurts, we're not working on inflation. Yeah, we gotta

520
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,479
Speaker 1: get those Republicans back in there to work on inflation. Guys,

521
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: securing the border, supporting our law enforcement standing up to China.

522
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,959
Speaker 1: None of this is happening. All our committees are now

523
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: shut down, and it's on these twenty people. They're embarrassing

524
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: the House, they're embarrassing the Republicans, they're embarrassing our country.

525
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: So I think over time, with focus, we'll get some

526
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: of these over. But we also have to be willing

527
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: to consider working with the Democrats at some point to

528
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 1: get some We're got some concessions to get some support there.

529
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 1: If these twenty refused to budge. Of course, of course,

530
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 1: at the first sign of any opposition to the swamp

531
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: at all. What I don't know, Maybe we should just

532
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: work with Democrats. Guys, gosh, these people, let's get the emails.

533
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: I can't all. Right back to the FBI. They know,

534
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: guys like Representative Don Bacon or they're in the GOP

535
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 1: house the FBI. They're out there every day raising a

536
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 1: middle finger to the GOP saying, what're you gonna do

537
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: about it? We're not stopping, we're not even slowing down.

538
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: What's you gonna do about it? And every day the

539
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 1: Republican PuTTY's just thank you, sir, May I have another? Oh?

540
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 1: You guys need some more money for your sham investigation.

541
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: We got you covered, FBI. The great men and women

542
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: at the FBI. If I have to hear one more

543
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: pundit or politician talk about the great men and women

544
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: at the FBI, I'm going to go throw myself off

545
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: a building. I cannot take it anymore. It's unbelievable. You know,

546
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: we're done. We get to some emails because I don't

547
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: want to talk about this. I don't want to talk

548
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 1: about the financial news. Joe Biden says, it's all working.

549
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: The bottom line is I believe our economic vision is working. Yeah,

550
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: we'll address that in a few Let's let's address this

551
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 1: really quickly. First, do you remember when I talked earlier

552
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: in the show about the Tabasco sauce and the MRE thing.

553
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 1: You know, we used to call those that was called

554
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: an MRI bomb, and they're very, very bad. But you

555
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 1: know what's even worse getting shot with a hero gun.

556
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: You see, I've been pepper sprayed before, I've had MRI

557
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: b mom's exploded in my tent before by my heartless friends.

558
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 1: And the truth is, none of that compares to the

559
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: power of the pepper balls from the hero gun when

560
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: they hit you and explode and you're in a pepper

561
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: cloud or the Hero arrow. Remember it's a little smaller.

562
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: It's not shaped like a gun. It's shaped like a

563
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: remote control. It shoots a pepper gel. That just it

564
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,959
Speaker 1: just you can't get it off you is it just

565
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: claims you non lethal? Oh yeah, non lethal. Let'll save

566
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 1: your life. It will stop a very very very bad

567
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 1: man from hurting you very badly. Or the person you

568
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: love the most. That baby girl you sent off to

569
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: college of the military. Make sure she's equipped. Huh, your

570
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: son too, your mom? Husband? Go to Hero twenty twenty

571
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: dot com promo code Jesse gets you a special discount,

572
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: he wrote twenty twenty dot com promo code Jesse doesn't

573
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: need it. You don't need to conceal carry permit. State

574
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: restrictions may apply to get to some emails. Today is

575
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: the Today is the one year and it with mixed emotions.

576
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 1: The subject is the one year anniversary of finding your show.

577
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: As I listened to the bs of the Fox News

578
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: hosts hammering, the Freedom Caucus has maybe decide that if

579
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,479
Speaker 1: Kevin McCarthy is Speaker of the House, I will resign

580
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 1: the Republican Party. Here in California, hoping my new rep

581
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: will see the light. Kevin Kylie apparently, is this new

582
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: ret keep it positive or at least instructing how not

583
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: to be depressed as our country is on the ground

584
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: in the middle of Monday night football and Jesse Kelly

585
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 1: is trying to resuscitate it. Thank you, new Rush. Oh

586
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: I'm not the new Rush Limbaugh. Thank you to all

587
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: of you who write in and say that you don't. Yeah,

588
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: that's right, Chris. He never did play fart sounds. That's one. Two.

589
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 1: He's the goat. You'll never get another Rush Limbaugh in

590
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: your lifetime. And I'm most definitely not it. I've been

591
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: doing this four years, all right. I am not that.

592
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: If I have helped feel a tiny part of that

593
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: void in your day that the great Rush Bell used

594
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 1: to feel good, I'm glad I can make your day

595
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 1: a little better, i am not that. But as far

596
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 1: as Fox News and the and the elected Republicans, and look,

597
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: the truth is this conservatism for my adult life, for

598
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: a good adult life, for my entire life. Quote, conservatism

599
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 1: being on the right has never had any teeth to

600
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: it at all. What conservatism has always been is can

601
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: you imagine if Democrats did this. Look at what a

602
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: hypocrite this guy is. That's that's what it's all. That's

603
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: all it's ever been. That's it, or or the Goop motto,

604
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 1: remember what it is? You remember what the Giope motto is. Guys,

605
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: This isn't the hill to die on. Remember, there's never

606
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 1: a hill to die on that way, they never have

607
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: to stand for anything. Oh I'd love to stand for

608
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 1: this issue, but we don't want to die on this hill. Yeah,

609
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 1: oh yeah, Chris, I love that. That's my favorite one.

610
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: Let's we can't do this before the election. Let's wait

611
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 1: till after the elections. What if it's unpopular, Guys, that's

612
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,720
Speaker 1: all it's ever been. And because of that, so many

613
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: of your elected representatives and so many of the people

614
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: you watch on the news or listen to on the radio,

615
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 1: that's all they've ever known, and that's all they are.

616
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: You've heard it time and time and time again from

617
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,320
Speaker 1: people you listen to. It makes me want to vomit

618
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:28,399
Speaker 1: every time I hear someone on the radio or an

619
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: elected representative saying, can you imagine if Democrats did that?

620
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 1: I just I cringe because you want to talk about

621
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: people who don't understand it all what we're up against

622
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: and don't understand it all what it's going to take

623
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: to defeat it. You're really that concerned that somebody is

624
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 1: someone's pooping in Kevin McCarthy's pants. Oh, be serious, all right,

625
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: we still have a whole other hour. Hang on,