1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: My boyfriend decided after two years that he wanted kids, 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: but I told him from the start. 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 2: I do not want any That's rough. 4 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I moved in together about a year ago. 5 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: I've been very clear from the second date that we 6 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: ever went on that I don't want biological kits. I've 7 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: discussed it at length with him, and until about two 8 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: and a half weeks ago, I thought we were on 9 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: the same page. He told me he didn't think he 10 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,159 Speaker 1: could do another eighteen years of child rearing, as he 11 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: already has a ten year old daughter. She has just 12 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: moved in with us in January, and too be clear, 13 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,319 Speaker 1: op is twenty nine and boyfriend is thirty seven. By 14 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,200 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from throway infj on the Best 15 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: of editor updates subridit. He bought a house, We got 16 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: a dog together. I was planning for an entire life 17 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: with him and his daughter. Originally, he told me he 18 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: bought the house so that his daughter would have a bedroom. 19 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: He told me the other night, his entire purpose in 20 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: marrying me was to have a Child's that's crazy to 21 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: say that my entire purpose in marrying you was the 22 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: thing that you never wanted to do. 23 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 2: Did he rehearse that at all, or was that just 24 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 2: the first thing that he was just like, been holding 25 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 2: this in for so long, bab. 26 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:07,039 Speaker 1: Babe sharks, I'd like to propose a child, and that 27 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: the whole reason he brought the house was so we 28 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: could build towards having an actual family, minimizing the one 29 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 1: we already have. I've been crying in secret for two weeks. 30 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: I finally accepted yesterday that I probably can't stay in 31 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 1: this relationship. I wanted marriage, and he's telling me that 32 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: marriage is innately tied to having a child with him. 33 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,839 Speaker 1: I can't compromise that part of myself, and I'm also 34 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: trying not to spiral. My car broke down unexpectedly yesterday's 35 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: raining oil out of the bottom, and I have no savings. 36 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I've been spending money 37 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: on our mortgage, four pets, on activities with his daughter, 38 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: on paying down credit, a lot of things kind of spiraling. Yeah, 39 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: that's I have no idea what my next step should 40 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: even be. And the worst part is that I love 41 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: him so much still. He is such a good person 42 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: and everything feels so normal, except that he doesn't want 43 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 1: to get married. Anymore, and he wants to have a 44 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: kid and I still don't. I'm struggling to see solutions. 45 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: I know I need to leave, but logistically I'm having 46 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: so much difficulty figuring this out, especially trying to sort 47 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,359 Speaker 1: through my feelings in the midst of it. And edit 48 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: to clarify, I am not on the mortgage with him. 49 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: I told him I would not sign anything together until 50 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: if we ever married. I have been contributing to basic 51 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: cost of living things, mortgage payment bills, groceries, et cetera. 52 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: Because I care about him and thought we were building 53 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: towards a life together. I don't want him to have 54 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: to do things alone because I believe we were in 55 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: a partnership. He has helped support me as well. However, 56 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: he has also ignored my voice in ways I dismissed 57 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: and I'm able to see now. I want to say, 58 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: I really appreciate everyone's suggestions and support, and there is 59 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 1: an update. But yeah, it seems like if she she's 60 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: now noticing that he doesn't really care about her opinions, 61 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: He's just like, yeah, babe, yeah, And then later he's like, 62 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: I'll convince her. I'll convince you that I'm right it's. 63 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 2: Kind of like it's given like the energy of like yeah, 64 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 2: but you know, like a woman's purpose is to give birth. 65 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: I know that, right. It's like, I know you didn't 66 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: want to do that earlier, but you were a kid. 67 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: You're an adult now you have to think about the children, 68 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: your legacy. 69 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: This guy feels like he uh maybe he listens to 70 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 2: Charlie Kirk and ironically not gonna lie. 71 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: I actually don't know the reference, but I know I 72 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: can apply. 73 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 2: I feel bad. I feel bad for you. I'm not 74 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 2: even gonna repeat his name because I just he's so gross, 75 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 2: but I. 76 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: Can imply with you. Man, just just a. 77 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 2: Guy who's like like women, right, women have a specific 78 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 2: biological assumption, and that's it. One day she's gonna find out, 79 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 2: and once she has my child that we agreed that 80 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 2: was not gonna be had, she'll be like thanks. 81 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: She'll flip it. She wow, you were right all along. 82 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: And I'll be like, yeah, bib, I'm a man. 83 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm the Oh I'm the man. 84 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: Boy. 85 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 2: That's why I had that idea. 86 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: But there's an update. So several people requested an update. Boy, 87 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: have I got one for you. I dropped my vehicle 88 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 1: at the mechanics on Friday and waited until Tuesday to 89 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: hear anything back. He called me back on Tuesday afternoon, 90 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: once I was just off work, to tell me that 91 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: he had diagnosed the problem and it was going to 92 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: be less than three hundred dollars to fix it. He 93 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: told me it would be about a week before it 94 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: was done. I began to make arrangements with a kind 95 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: coworker of mine for rides to work, and then that 96 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: evening I got a call from the mechanic again. He 97 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: told me that he had gotten hold of the part 98 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: he needed, replaced it, and that my car would be 99 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: ready for pickup that evening. Tuesday night, when I got 100 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: home from this, however, my boyfriend and I ended up 101 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: in an extremely intense discussion during which he once again 102 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 1: clarified that he doesn't give two craps about getting married. 103 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: Not only did he make us abundantly clear, he actually 104 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: spent about two hours essentially dismissing, minimizing, and deflecting the 105 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 1: importance of marriage to me, and kept throwing it in 106 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 1: my face that the way I feel about marriage with 107 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: him is the way he feels about kids with me. 108 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: He said nothing would change if we got married. But 109 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,039 Speaker 1: when I asked why it matters so much, if nothing 110 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 1: would actually change, why wouldn't you just get married to 111 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 1: me since it's obviously important to me, I got no 112 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: response of any substance, only deflection and patronization. It was 113 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: honestly devastating and I couldn't do a justice type out, 114 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 1: but I spent from nine pm until one in the 115 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: morning prying, and I sob myself to sleep. There was 116 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 1: no room for denial at that point, and because my 117 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: vehicle had miraculously been fixed, I had an out. Wednesday, 118 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: I contacted a local landlord who I had rented from previously. 119 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: I asked if they had any units available, and they did, 120 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 1: within my price range at a flat rate. She told 121 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: me she would call me back, and she did, and 122 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: she said I could come back in the next day 123 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: to look at it, which brings us to today. It 124 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: seems like go peas on the way out, which is 125 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: I think they can't. They've reached a standstill. I think 126 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: they're at an impassable moment. 127 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 2: Here the whole like how you feel a out marriage, 128 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 2: how I feel about kids is like, well, I mean, 129 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 2: if you get married, like it's two separate things. 130 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 1: They are two separate things. 131 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 2: And he's putting them like both as one. He's like, 132 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 2: that's the package deal for me. 133 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: The thing is that he's not necessarily wrong about, you know, 134 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: his If he wants to have kids, he should have kids. However, 135 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 1: the fact that that wasn't the first thing he said 136 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: when they started dating, of I want to have kids. 137 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: He purposely misled her, hoping that she would change her mind. 138 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 2: That's the bad part. Yet, Like it can be. 139 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: You're deal breaker, but if you're going to try and 140 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 1: like trick someone into taking your side, then that's not 141 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 1: a healthy relationship, not at all. 142 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 2: Folks got and he was just lying from the beginning 143 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 2: to like, that's why that we got the house, because 144 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 2: you're having a baby in this house. Baby, And she's like, no, 145 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 2: I fixed my car not after. 146 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: I got off work, I went straight to the landlord's 147 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,839 Speaker 1: office and called the keys to go look at the apartment. 148 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: It's tiny, but it's perfect, no room for kids. I 149 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: decided to take it, and I knew that when I 150 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 1: got home, I had to tell him. He came home 151 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: after me, and when he walked in the door, I 152 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 1: asked if he had any plans made prior that evening, 153 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: and he said no, I didn't want to disrupt anything 154 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: that he had intended to do with the conversation of 155 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: me moving out, but it turned out that he didn't, 156 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: so we had it. I initiated by telling him I 157 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 1: was moving out, and when he asked why. 158 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 2: Crazy, why could I possibly be moving out? Where's this 159 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 2: coming out? 160 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: We were all good. I told him that it was 161 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 1: clear from our conversations over the last couple of weeks 162 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: that there have been a lot of unspoken expectations that 163 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: were afecting our relationship and there was no way to 164 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 1: gain clarity about those while we were living together. In 165 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,559 Speaker 1: that conversation, he told me that he had invested everything 166 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: in our relationship, and he asked me what I had invested. 167 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: He acted as though I had railroaded him through our 168 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: entire relationship and told me that he was compromising on 169 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: having children. But the one time that he asks me 170 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: for anything, I refuse to compromise. He guilt tripped me 171 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: again about how he's either having kids with me or 172 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: he's not going to have them at all. Dodo's age 173 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 1: and this is his last chance, so that's not even 174 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: true for you. 175 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 2: Did you say not going to have them at all 176 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 2: with a whole daughter. 177 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: He has a whole daughter. He has a whole, life 178 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: sized daughter. He told me he'd never date again if 179 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 1: our relationship doesn't work. He blamed me for having to 180 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: explain what is happening to his daughter, And based on 181 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: what he said, I don't think he's going to let 182 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: me say goodbye to her. What is he going to say, oh, 183 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: your stubmom or You're like, I'm. 184 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 2: Pretty sure the daughter would be siding with the. 185 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: He's like, she won't let me have a daughter, and 186 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: she's like, I'm right. 187 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 2: She like, yeah, weeks ago, you already had me. 188 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: He had me, you want another one? What's why? He 189 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: was surprised when I told him that I wanted the 190 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: dog to stay with him, And I said, I'm doing 191 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: this because marriage and children and relationships don't have a 192 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: gray area. This is true. You either have a child 193 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: or you don't. I don't see a way to bridge 194 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: that gap because we want different things essentially. And I said, 195 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: I'm not ending the relationship because I don't care about him, 196 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: his daughter, are life, the dog, anything. But I'm doing 197 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: it because I believe this is the right thing to 198 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: do right now. I even told him I could be wrong, 199 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: but I wasn't sure what else to say, and he 200 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: went back to marriage, not changing anything about the relationship 201 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: and minimizing the value of it. He said he would 202 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 1: still essentially be doing everything in the relationship and committing 203 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: to it without marriage, and I responded to that by 204 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 1: saying I didn't understand how he could make all these 205 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: commitments and invest so much but be unwilling to fully 206 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: commit through marriage. And the final nail in the coffin 207 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: for me was when he says he views marriage as 208 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 1: an institution and he doesn't need a piece of paper 209 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: to validate his relationship. 210 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 2: Okay, but also kind of low key. 211 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: Facts that is, but it's important to Opie and he's 212 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 1: the only reason that he's not getting married is because 213 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,839 Speaker 1: he wants like something to hold over her head. 214 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it would be harder to leave her, Yeah, 215 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 2: probably if they got married. 216 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: And that he, unlike me, was not brought up in 217 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 1: a religious environment of sheep that led him to believe 218 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 1: marriage was the make or break of a success relationship. 219 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: After that, I cried a lot. I went to get 220 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,439 Speaker 1: some ice cream, smart nice and feel better. Now I'm 221 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: going to start moving my stuff into the new apartment tomorrow, 222 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: and everything worked out at a rapid rate that tells 223 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: me I'm on the right track. Thanks to the community 224 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 1: for the encouragement here. I thought I was going crazy, 225 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: and then after this conversation tonight, I realized that the 226 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 1: only time I actually feel crazy is after I talk 227 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: to him. Boom, mic drop. I can't drop this one. 228 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: I can't drop this mic I wanted. That's the mic dropping. 229 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 1: I am looking forward to having my own place again quiet, 230 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: just for me. I know that I'll still be sad 231 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: for a while, but I also know that I'm going 232 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: to be okay. And there's a little bit more to 233 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: the story. But oh my, there's multiple comments. Come on, 234 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,199 Speaker 1: this is a commoner from op okay. There's two more 235 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: comments from op okay. One comment is fit It says, 236 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: I have to say I'm a stranger, but I've been 237 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: in relationships that make me feel stupid and crazy and 238 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you, and Opie says, thank you 239 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: for this. You made me cheer up. I've been crying 240 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: for two weeks straight, almost, and today is the first 241 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 1: day I haven't felt that weight. And then they add 242 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: more info. Opie says I think I said somewhere in 243 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: urn earlier comment that there were probably signs that I 244 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,960 Speaker 1: didn't register as relevant or important. I think mainly because 245 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,839 Speaker 1: most of the concerns I began to notice only after 246 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: we moved in together, which I think is when most 247 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 1: when you really find out about a person. 248 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 2: Yes, is when you leave. A big test is when 249 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 2: you're like, I can't get away from this person, this 250 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 2: is not fun, and I kind of want to get 251 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 2: away from this person. Okay, sorry, I'm scared. 252 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: But the dismissal and sudden change in his attitude towards 253 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: marriage tells me he was not ready to make a 254 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: full commitment. Looking back, we began to have intimacy issues 255 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 1: starting around the one year mark, shortly after moving in together. 256 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: It is only continued to progress, and I think a 257 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 1: lot of it had to do with him harboring these 258 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: feelings and resentments. He was dishonest with me. But the 259 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: crappiest thing about manipulation is that I think most people 260 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 1: who are manipulating don't do it with the malicious intent. 261 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,319 Speaker 2: He didn't mean so, you're such a sweetheart. 262 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,679 Speaker 1: I think what she's saying is that people who are 263 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 1: manipulative think that they are right, often. 264 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 2: Like they don't even think that they're the bad government. 265 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 2: They're just being like, well. 266 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,119 Speaker 1: Obviously, I'm yeah, you just don't understand. 267 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 2: Listen to this, babe. This will make it. It'll make 268 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:39,680 Speaker 2: sense soon. 269 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, But that doesn't excuse it. And unfortunately, I allowed 270 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: myself to get into a position where I trusted and 271 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: relied on him more than I knew him, which led 272 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 1: me to be willing to make commitments to him moving in, 273 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,839 Speaker 1: helping with living costs and his daughter that I should 274 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: have waited to do until I was sure that we 275 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,079 Speaker 1: were compatible. The way that he's acting right now, it's 276 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: as though we were a mutual deadlock in our values. 277 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: He doesn't see it that way, and I believe that 278 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: his commentary when I told him I was moving out 279 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,840 Speaker 1: was a combination of feeling devastated and heartbroken and all 280 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,199 Speaker 1: so extremely scared because he knows the reality behind how 281 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 1: I have supported him and helped him in our relationship, 282 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 1: especially with his daughter. He lashed out because he was 283 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: defensive and hurt. I'm grateful to report though he's currently 284 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: acting like I don't exist. So the moving process has 285 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: been relatively painless and I can tell that he's very 286 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 1: uncomfortable and sad right now, just like me. I'm terrified, 287 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 1: but I also feel in my soul that this was 288 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 1: the right thing to do, and I know these feelings 289 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: will pass. Thank you for your encouragement, but that is 290 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: the end of that story. Ah boy, oh boy. Yeah, 291 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,719 Speaker 1: I think definitely get away from him. I don't think 292 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: you can move past this. My girlfriend is lying about 293 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: going to yoga classes. She refuses to admit it. Me 294 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 1: male twenty eight living together with my girlfriend, female twenty 295 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: eight for about a year or so, together for four 296 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: We both have a good relationship and nothing out of 297 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: the ordinary. By the way, this comes from throwaway because 298 00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:00,559 Speaker 1: of GFH on the Best of Redditor update subred So. 299 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 1: I work at a delivery company that does express deliveries 300 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: all over the province I live in. Because we have 301 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: express shifts, we have to take a delivery van home 302 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: every day. We can also use this van for private trips. 303 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: The company sometimes has to deliver very expensive goods. Therefore, 304 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 1: the vans were equipped with a GPS tracker that can 305 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: locate the van at any given time. A few months ago, 306 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 1: my girlfriend started taking yoga classes in the evening, so 307 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: when we both got back from work we would eat 308 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 1: and in case I was not on express shift, she 309 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: could take the van to her yoga class. And now 310 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,320 Speaker 1: herein lies the problem. It has a tracking. 311 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 2: You're in the corporate lowjacked sprinter van. You can't argue. 312 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 2: We can't get away speA co ordinates. Babe. 313 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,720 Speaker 1: We live very close to a border. Europe has open borders, 314 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 1: but we can only go to other countries with permission 315 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: of the company. It's an insurance thing, as far as 316 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: I understand. Last week, my supervisor told me that in 317 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: nine cases my van was in the neighboring country in 318 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: the evening without permission. This was very odd because she 319 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,320 Speaker 1: told me where she had the yoga classes and this 320 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: was definitely not out of the country. She's like, Babe, 321 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 1: they're really good yoga classes. They're just in like, you know, 322 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 1: a couple of countries. I hushed my Kusha yoga class, 323 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: saspotis lukschen Borga. 324 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 2: They're in Germany, they're German. 325 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,160 Speaker 1: They're German. Where the German they're German? 326 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 2: Maybe actually no that she I feel like she'd be 327 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 2: angry if she was German, or he would be because 328 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 2: were a people. Have you heard German? 329 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: This was very odd. I knew I couldn't go out 330 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: of the country, so I'm sure I didn't. He's like, 331 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: wasn't me? Did I just forget? I didn't tell my 332 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: supervisor about the yoga thing, but I asked him for 333 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,080 Speaker 1: the exact location so I could take a look at it. 334 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: What I found was all the nine times where exactly 335 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: the time she had taken the van retracing WhatsApp times 336 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: from the on my way to the time of a 337 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: departure or a match. So he knows it was. 338 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 2: Her and that she was coming from that place because 339 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 2: when she got back. 340 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: I got home that day and decided I was not 341 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 1: going to ask her upfront. However, I did ask her 342 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: where she had the yoga classes, and she said the 343 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 1: same place as last time, so she's basically denying that 344 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: she was in another country. During the evening, I made 345 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 1: up a BS story that I co work got in 346 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: trouble for driving over the border without permission. She seemed 347 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: a bit shocked or somewhat but did not give any 348 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: ordinary response or anything. The address I have is just 349 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: a parking spot in some neighborhood. I drove there last 350 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 1: night with my private car to see if I could 351 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: find anything. But it's just houses in a park. A 352 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 1: quick Google search shows no yoga things anywhere around. If 353 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: this houses that kind of yoga buddy, she's flexible. I 354 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: could follow her the next time she has yoga classes, 355 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: just to see where she's going and then confront her afterwards. 356 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 1: Or should I just tell her now? This is all 357 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 1: really stressing me out at the moment. Any advice would 358 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: be great, and there are some edits and an update 359 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: to this story. 360 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 2: Edit. 361 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 1: I will give an update as soon as I have 362 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 1: confronted her. This will be possible on Friday night shifts, 363 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 1: et cetera. I've read all of your comments and I 364 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: would like to highlight slash clarify some things in my 365 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: country of cars either insured or it's not. Anyone can 366 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: drive it as long as there's insurance on the car. 367 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: There are a few scenarios which I can find in 368 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 1: the comments. I know I am hoping it's not cheating, 369 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: but I think that is the most obvious. She has 370 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: used some in the past recreational, but has not done 371 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: this anymore for a long time. I would highly doubt 372 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: she would hide it from me if she was using substances. 373 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 1: Since she told me about her substance bar past in 374 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: the very beginning of the relationship, and she's very open 375 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: about it, it could be that, yeah, if she's had 376 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: a past with it, it could. 377 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 2: Be I strongly disagree with the sentiment that he says. 378 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 2: I don't think that she would like I feel like 379 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 2: she would just tell me if she'd relapsed. It's like, no, 380 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 2: I went through. Yeah, she's like the shame of that would. 381 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: Be like, yeah, you want to hide it. 382 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 2: I think that vand Luxembourg for I don't know what 383 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 2: she's doing. 384 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: It also might be a legality thing if she's going 385 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: out of the country. I mean, obviously she could be cheating, 386 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: but maybe like, oh. 387 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 2: Maybe she can't get prosecuted for it in the country 388 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 2: that she lives in. 389 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 1: Or maybe like a country it's something is legal in one. 390 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: I don't know. She also doesn't look any different as normal. 391 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: This also makes me think that smuggling across the border 392 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: is highly unlikely. I know everybody is telling me not 393 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,719 Speaker 1: to be a detective, but I want to confront her 394 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: face to face, which is only possible on Friday. In 395 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: the meantime, I have been doing some detective work to 396 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: kill the time. Like, don't worry, guys, I'm staying busy. 397 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 2: I know they told me not to do this, and 398 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 2: he immediately started doing it. 399 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 1: Anyway, what I have found out is that she has 400 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,439 Speaker 1: two girls in her Facebook friends lift that live in 401 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: this village where she's been going. I do not know them, 402 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 1: nor is she ever spoken to me about them. I 403 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: managed to pinpoint the exact address of one of these girls, 404 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,880 Speaker 1: and they pretty much match with the location the GPS 405 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,119 Speaker 1: pointed out. Don't worry, I will not go there. I 406 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 1: can just use this if she would deny anything. So 407 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 1: now there's friends involved. 408 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't like say you're going to yoga 409 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 2: and then drive out of the country. 410 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,399 Speaker 1: No, there's something going on. 411 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:57,640 Speaker 2: She does not realize that this van is lojacked. Yeah, 412 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,400 Speaker 2: he knows exactly where she's where she's going, and it's 413 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 2: not yoga, I mean unless what unless it's like yoga club, 414 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 2: like I'll book. 415 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 1: So her friends are having yoga classes. But I think 416 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: she said specifically that the yoga place was near them 417 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,360 Speaker 1: or something, and now she's he knows that she's lying 418 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: because she's not at the place. Then she said she 419 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,800 Speaker 1: was supposed to be at. So it's not even like 420 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,400 Speaker 1: there's a yoga class in this other country because she's 421 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: lying about the destination. But there's an update, so we'll 422 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 1: find out if he's a good detective or not one 423 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,840 Speaker 1: week later. Sorry for the late update, but I needed 424 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 1: some time to think things through. She got home on 425 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: Friday and I confronted her with the fact that the 426 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 1: van had been abroad without permission and that it had 427 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,959 Speaker 1: to be her that was driving there. She straight up 428 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 1: said she indeed went abroad, but she didn't know I 429 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,679 Speaker 1: could get in trouble for it. I asked her to 430 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 1: explain why she was lying about going there. She decided 431 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: to do yoga because she has had some back issues 432 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 1: from her past. However, she knew a girl the one 433 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: abroad in her Facebook that was all spiritual and could 434 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 1: heal her by doing a few sessions at her home. 435 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,880 Speaker 1: She knows I think this is BS, so she decided 436 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: to tell me that she was going for yoga classes, 437 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 1: but instead went to this spiritual girl. Do we believe her? 438 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: It could be true? Could be true. We do know 439 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 1: that the friends you know, the friend's location is the 440 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: same GOODBADERU could not be true, though I don't know. 441 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,199 Speaker 2: I think you just have to. That doesn't seem like 442 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 2: something that you would hide. Yeah, it's like you'd just 443 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 2: be upfront about that. It's like how long it had 444 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 2: been they've been together? 445 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: Oh, why it's his girlfriend, but still there. 446 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 2: It's like, I don't want to make she. 447 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,879 Speaker 1: Can borrow the car. 448 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, she's letting, he's letting you take his 449 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 2: work family, he's not. He's I think he's gonna be 450 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 2: okay if you're an adult, even if he doesn't believe 451 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,360 Speaker 2: you're crystal healing. Yeah. 452 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 1: I was kind of confused because I expected something entirely 453 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,639 Speaker 1: different to be going on. I was also having troubles 454 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: believing her. She insisted I went with her on Saturday 455 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,639 Speaker 1: to see that nothing weird was going on. So I 456 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,880 Speaker 1: did this girl did some weird meditation, drew some cards, 457 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 1: and did some other witchcraft crap. My girlfriend then had 458 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: to pay forty five euros for this. I kept my cool, 459 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 1: but to be honest, I'm pissed off at this girl. 460 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,359 Speaker 1: The only thing she does is ill hoped desperate people, 461 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,680 Speaker 1: people with real issues that need to get real medical attention. 462 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,879 Speaker 1: On our way home was pretty awkward I didn't know 463 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,920 Speaker 1: what to say. The Tumble says, sounds like she's getting 464 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 1: a raikie session. We talked yesterday and I explained to 465 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,679 Speaker 1: her that I was angry because of the fact that 466 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 1: she had to lie about something like this. She said 467 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 1: she was afraid of my response and just wanted to 468 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,600 Speaker 1: see if this could help. I told her that she 469 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: can do whatever she wants except lie about it. She 470 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 1: promised me she would never do that again. I am 471 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 1: still really confused about all this. I think she's wasting 472 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: money and instead of throwing it at some freaky witch girl, 473 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,080 Speaker 1: she could be investing it in things that would actually 474 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: improve her back. On the other hand, I am glad 475 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,160 Speaker 1: she's not cheating. I was almost certain that that had 476 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: to be the case. 477 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, brother, just enjoy the w that she's not throwing 478 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 2: it back. She's just throwing money in the trash. That's fine. 479 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 2: Let her do that. 480 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 1: That's fine. You can work with that. 481 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 2: I mean, look, I will say I've met people personally, 482 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 2: and you guys can believe me or not. I've met 483 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 2: people personally. They can like there are people out there 484 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 2: who can do weird healing stuff like acupan. 485 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 1: There's a lot of different non Western medicine and like 486 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,400 Speaker 1: treatments and stuff that do have you know, do work. 487 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 2: This guy used frequency light healing. 488 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the red light. 489 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 2: Like no, like he was like like he was like 490 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,920 Speaker 2: a conduit of some sort of energy. And I swear 491 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 2: to god he had Like there were all these people 492 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 2: who were like this guy fixed my Crohn's disease and 493 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 2: my chronic this my chronic dad. Doctors told me I'd 494 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 2: be like this forever and I saw this guy and 495 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 2: he fixed it. He's very spiritual gurog. 496 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, if it works for those people, 497 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: then they have a right to spend their own money 498 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,400 Speaker 1: as long as long as she's not stealing yours. 499 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 2: But it's you know, it's like that I might be legit, 500 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 2: but is this other person in Luxembourg or wherever maybe legit? 501 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, who knows. Dutchess Sona says, yeah, there's the placebo 502 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 1: effect at the very least. I mean, minds are very powerful. 503 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 1: But we're gonna get into the relevant comments. 504 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:46,880 Speaker 2: Stella relax. 505 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: Quebec Qubac says, if she felt the need to lie 506 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: about this because of how you'd react, maybe you need 507 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: to consider your general reactions sounds like she was afraid 508 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: of your judgment, and the phrase freaky witch girls seems 509 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 1: to cool operate that, Opie says. I think I know 510 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,960 Speaker 1: why she was scared of my reactions. We have a 511 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: big group of friends which we have known for ages, 512 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 1: and we discuss a lot of things in this group 513 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,959 Speaker 1: when we are all together. There are a few dumps 514 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 1: in this group who tend to believe everything about anything. 515 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 1: I'm talking flatter chemtrails, steel beams, and hoaxing a moon 516 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 1: landing fun. 517 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 2: So befriends interesting those people. 518 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: When these discussions take place, we disagree with each other 519 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 1: and things can get very heated. Even though we don't agree, 520 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 1: we're still very good friends after these discussions. I am 521 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 1: almost one hundred percent certain we probably once talked about 522 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 1: medium's alternative medicine, et cetera. She has probably heard what 523 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 1: I said about it and thinks I would not approve, 524 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 1: And that is the other comment is not necessary to read. Indeed, 525 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,199 Speaker 1: that is the end of that story. I called my 526 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 1: boyfriend out for breaking the rules of our relationship. He 527 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: called me a horrible name. 528 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,439 Speaker 2: Oh, I can't wait to find out what it is. 529 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 1: I'm female twenty seven crying after my boyfriend maw five 530 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: called me a how come he won't listen to me? Oh, 531 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,200 Speaker 1: that's already. 532 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 2: That's pretty bad. 533 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 1: That's pretty bad. My boyfriend is working three hours away. 534 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: We both still go out and have fun because we 535 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 1: trust each other. I honestly was not worried when I 536 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,879 Speaker 1: saw his location at a local dance spot in the 537 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: town he's temporarily living in. I just got worried because 538 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,600 Speaker 1: the last time we were there, some girls bumped his 539 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 1: pool stick midshot and caused him to bump the wrong 540 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,359 Speaker 1: pool ball into a hole. He was pissed by the way. 541 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,800 Speaker 1: This comes from kilb Kamana on the r slash Okay 542 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 1: storytime subvered it. So the girl immediately apologized, and he said, 543 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: in a loud and stern voice, just don't do it again. 544 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:40,639 Speaker 1: He's like, I would have won. 545 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 2: You're gonna get me mail pregnant. That's too much, too 546 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:50,360 Speaker 2: much testosterone, and he shoots it. 547 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: Her friends started talking crap, and then my best friend 548 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: screamed over everyone to knock it off, and she shut 549 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,680 Speaker 1: the whole thing down immediately. The girls apologized, offered a 550 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 1: bias around, and that was that. So when I see 551 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 1: his location there that's why I got a little worried, 552 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 1: because he got mad last time we were there. I 553 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 1: didn't say anything, just replied to his text to whatever 554 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: we were texting about and went to sleep. He called 555 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: me at two am when he was home, and that's 556 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: when I said, it made me feel uneasy seeing he 557 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: was there. It all went a crap at that point. 558 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: He accused me of accusing him that he was with 559 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 1: another girl and doing something wrong, and that he didn't 560 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 1: do anything wrong. He saw his coworker. That's why he went, sorry, 561 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,920 Speaker 1: this is how I'm make sure I was with. 562 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,879 Speaker 2: Another girl, and I wasn't with another girl. I was 563 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 2: with my coworker, and that's why I. 564 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: Went, that's bad. 565 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 2: I'm just. I'm just. I was just concerned that you 566 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 2: were at the at the last time you were there. 567 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 2: It sounds a lot like you're saying, was a girl 568 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 2: my coworker who is a woman. 569 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: Where were they? I also said I didn't know we 570 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,199 Speaker 1: were allowed to go to clubs because him and I 571 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 1: have said before clubs are for single people only unless 572 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: you're significant others there. I don't necessarily agree with that, 573 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,959 Speaker 1: but if you have your own agreements in your relationship, 574 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:02,679 Speaker 1: that's up to you. 575 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of variables that go into 576 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 2: that decision. Yeah, it sits up to the Yeah, up 577 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 2: to the people it happens. So in my head, that 578 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 2: was an unspoken rule for us. But again, I wasn't worried, 579 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 2: and I waited till he got home so I could 580 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 2: then talk about it. If I brought it up through 581 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 2: text while he was there, he definitely would take it 582 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,119 Speaker 2: the wrong way. But I guess he took it the 583 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 2: wrong way. 584 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: Anyways. This argument continued to this morning because I couldn't 585 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,159 Speaker 1: get through to him the night before because he was 586 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: you just wouldn't listen to a word I said. He said, 587 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,680 Speaker 1: I'm making him feel like I don't trust him by 588 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,639 Speaker 1: saying that, and I repeated myself saying I do trust you. 589 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: I was not worried. I just went to sleep till 590 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 1: two am when you got home. Please listen when I 591 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 1: tell you, I'm not accusing you of anything. I love you. 592 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 1: That's not what I'm trying to do. I told him, 593 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: you didn't even ask why I felt uneasy. You just 594 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 1: jumped to conclusions that I'm attacking you. Then I explained 595 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,200 Speaker 1: what happened last time, and that's why this is where 596 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,640 Speaker 1: he called me is or I should say, he insinuated 597 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 1: I had that behavior. 598 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 2: Okay, but wait, those two are two yeah things. Those 599 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,879 Speaker 2: are not the same. I mean they're both bad, but 600 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 2: they are differend he I mean, he's all, like, you're 601 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 2: employing to that. I'm a sweet because I'm what, I 602 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 2: out there with the other girl? What you would probably 603 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:14,760 Speaker 2: be out there with the other guy. 604 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 1: Before I met my boyfriend, my bff and I would 605 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 1: go dancing, and when guys offered to buy us a drink, 606 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 1: we would simply let them. 607 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 2: She's just describing the process of going out. That's as what. Okay, 608 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 2: that's crazy. Okay. 609 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 1: When my boyfriend and I first met, I was very 610 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 1: clear and wasn't ready for anything until six months after 611 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: knowing each other. He then threw this in my face. 612 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,200 Speaker 2: Here he threw the six months in your face. He 613 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 2: through the six months where you said let's take it slow. 614 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,920 Speaker 2: What and now he's like, like that was pretty very 615 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 2: I think that's kind of a red flag for me. 616 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: Also, she literally like she is he just saying that 617 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:54,120 Speaker 1: her getting drinks from other guys is promiscuous. 618 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 2: Was he still drink the next ye talked to him. 619 00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:00,399 Speaker 1: He's like, I got so many free drinks, he said, 620 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,920 Speaker 1: where I live, all these bars have dance spots in them. 621 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: I told him I haven't been to any clubs here 622 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,360 Speaker 1: unless I'm with him. Then he started yelling that when 623 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: he was pursuing me, I would go out and round, 624 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,359 Speaker 1: and my BFF is the one who would always gloat 625 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,199 Speaker 1: about our nights out. But I have never hooked up 626 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 1: with any man at the club, nor did I ever 627 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,400 Speaker 1: take anyone home with me. My BFF and I were 628 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: only there to dance times. People just go there to dance. 629 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 2: I just want to dance with the girl. 630 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,879 Speaker 1: I said this to him, but started crying because I 631 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: was so hurt that he called me this word. I 632 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: said I needed to get off the phone because this 633 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,120 Speaker 1: whole time trying to be calm, talking to him about 634 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: how he was feeling, reminding him over and over that 635 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 1: I'm not accusing him of anything, trying to explain that 636 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: I felt uneasy, probably because of my anxiety, but I 637 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: chose not to react and to go to sleep. He 638 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,439 Speaker 1: just kept saying, I'll just not go out anymore. Places 639 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,359 Speaker 1: here close at ten pm, and that was the only 640 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,920 Speaker 1: place open. I just won't go anymore, even though I 641 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: never said a thing when you go out? I asked him, 642 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 1: are you uncomfortable when I go places? He then said 643 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,800 Speaker 1: he doesn't give an f about me going out. I 644 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 1: told him sorry for the way I said, I felt uneasy. 645 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,159 Speaker 1: Is there a better way I should communicate it? And 646 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 1: I would like to communicate to you guys that you 647 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: can join us live every WEEKDA at three pm PST. 648 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 1: Just step our profile. Okay, wait wait wait, wait, weird, 649 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,760 Speaker 1: wait weird. He didn't answer that and just kept going 650 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: on about how I don't trust him. I also was 651 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: asking why does he think I'm attacking him? I repeated 652 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: over and over that I'm not. I'm just trying to communicate, 653 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,919 Speaker 1: but he would not let up. I felt like I 654 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 1: was talking to a ball at this point. I'm just 655 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,239 Speaker 1: so confused. Now I'm distraught. I'm really it was so 656 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: calm and trying to communicate this morning. Because I just 657 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,240 Speaker 1: started getting therapy recently. How can I get him to 658 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: listen to me? 659 00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 2: Big ups on the therapy? 660 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:37,959 Speaker 1: Therapy? 661 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 2: We love that on the therapy. 662 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 1: Always good. I think you're you should I think there's 663 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 1: a chanzy might be protecting Yeah. 664 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 2: And I just got to say your intuition on the 665 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 2: voice was right on the money. Yea, because this guy's uh. 666 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 2: And also was he a pool bar? He was at 667 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,719 Speaker 2: a pool bar, so it's not really the same thing 668 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 2: as a club. To be fair, the bar is not Yeah, 669 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 2: not cool. 670 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 1: I think he might have said that he had gone 671 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: to other clubs or something, but he was at the 672 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: pool bar and then started bringing up Ope's clubbing experiences 673 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 1: before they were together. 674 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 2: Which sounds like is completely inaccurate. 675 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like, your behavior of getting drinks from people 676 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: is bad, but that is the end of that story. 677 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 2: My friend said I was too fat to be her 678 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 2: maid of honor, so I asked for all my payments back. Good. 679 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 1: She doesn't deserve your money, not at all. 680 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 2: Your indeed your I own in your spite. My twenty 681 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 2: seven female best friend, Claire, twenty eight female, is getting 682 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 2: married in a few weeks. We've been best friends since 683 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 2: high school and when she asked me to be her 684 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 2: maid of honor, I was beyond excited. I wanted to 685 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 2: give her the most amazing experience possible, so I went 686 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 2: all out. By the way, this comes from user telephone 687 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 2: constant to seventy on the r slash Okay Storytime suburday, 688 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 2: so I helped plan everything from her bridal shower to 689 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 2: the bachelorette party, which was a small weekend trip for 690 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 2: her and the bridal party. I also paid for decorations, 691 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 2: party favors, and even chipped in for some unexpected costs 692 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,080 Speaker 2: because I wanted to make things special for her all together. 693 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 2: I spent several thousand dollars money my husband and I 694 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 2: had budgeted for because I thought this was something worth 695 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 2: investing in. Claire has been like a sister to me, 696 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 2: and I thought being her maid of honor was an honor. 697 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,480 Speaker 2: I didn't mind the expense, even though it was a 698 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,080 Speaker 2: bit tight for us financially. I just wanted her to 699 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 2: have the perfect wedding experience. Yeah, so that's exactly how 700 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:39,040 Speaker 2: you should be. It's their wedding. Make it great. Here's 701 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 2: where it all started to go wrong. Noy, Oh boy, 702 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 2: I'm four months pregnant and. 703 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: You're doing all that for her. WHOA, that's an angel move, 704 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: that's an angel friend right there. 705 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 706 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. 707 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,560 Speaker 2: My husband and I found out a couple months ago, 708 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 2: and when I told Claire, she congratulated me, but didn't 709 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 2: seem overly excited. Brushed it off because I figured she 710 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 2: was just busy with wedding planning. But since then she 711 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 2: started acting distant. She'd exclude me from conversations about the 712 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 2: wedding and would make passive comments about how hard it 713 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,840 Speaker 2: is to coordinate everything when people are distracted by personal things. 714 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 2: I started to feel like I was walking on eggshells, 715 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 2: but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to 716 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 2: add to her stress. Then a few days ago, Claire 717 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 2: sat me down and dropped a bombshell. She told me 718 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 2: she didn't think I should be in the wedding anymore 719 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 2: because I'm quote getting too fat and she doesn't want 720 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 2: me in the pictures. 721 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:39,480 Speaker 1: Okay, the fact that he's literally pregnant. Ope, he's literally pregnant. 722 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 2: Your pregnant best friend is organizing your entire wedding, and 723 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 2: you're like, oh, you're twousands of dollars. 724 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,600 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Regardless of what her weight is anyway, even 725 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 1: if she wasn't pregnant, you shouldn't be commenting on it. 726 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 1: But the fact that you're telling her that she's gaining 727 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,640 Speaker 1: too much weight when she's literally growing a human inside 728 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:02,320 Speaker 1: of her exactly is insane you're insane. 729 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,520 Speaker 2: We're flinging you off of the planet. You're to sign 730 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 2: you into the giant sun Trebuche. Right now you're in 731 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 2: the sun. Yeah, could get thankful, because it could be worse. 732 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: You better be happy about that. 733 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 2: So she said that she was replacing me as made 734 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:20,240 Speaker 2: of honor with another friend, and I was completely stunned. 735 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 2: I asked if this was because I'm pregnant, and she 736 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 2: said that it wasn't personal, but that she has a 737 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 2: specific vision for her wedding and I no longer fit 738 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 2: into it. She tried to frame it like it was 739 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 2: about aesthetic consistency, but how can that not feel personal? 740 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, it's your aesthetic, you're pregnant. Aesthetic is 741 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:40,120 Speaker 2: the one we can't have. 742 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, we have kind of like a no pregnant 743 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,479 Speaker 1: people loud at my wedding. 744 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 2: Unbelievable. 745 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,680 Speaker 1: You're allowed to have an esthetic at your wedding, but 746 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: when it comes to how your friend's like your one, 747 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,959 Speaker 1: your friend's bodies, but also just like hair type in general, 748 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 1: like you can't you can't tell people to change how 749 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 1: they look. 750 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 2: It's ridiculous for your wedding. 751 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 1: You can say, you can you have to wear this 752 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 1: dress or like this color dress, but that's about it. 753 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,000 Speaker 2: Did this person also forget photoshop exists. If this was 754 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 2: really that big of a deal. 755 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: Okay, No, that would be crazy. If she photoshopped the 756 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 1: baby belly, eh. 757 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,080 Speaker 2: I get that would be that would be less insane 758 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,480 Speaker 2: than excluding your maid of honor after she spent thousands 759 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,320 Speaker 2: of dollars to plan your entire experience. 760 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 1: No, I think that would be insane if she was like, like, imagine. 761 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 2: It would be insane. This person is insane for doing it. 762 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 1: I trying to think of itto like a relevant thing 763 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: for you, Like, imagine you lost an arm. 764 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 2: Right, I was literally I was thinking that exactly if. 765 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 1: You lost an arm and you were like, hey, I'm 766 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 1: going to like I've been putting all this effort into 767 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 1: being the best groom you know, uh groomsman for my 768 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 1: my best friend. And your best friend comes up to 769 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,520 Speaker 1: you and he's like, hey, I don't know if you 770 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 1: could be in the wedding because we have kind of 771 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 1: like an aesthetic thing. You kind of have a two 772 00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 1: arms aesthetic going on. Oh no, and then like you 773 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 1: know what, like no, be in the wedding. 774 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. 775 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: Months later and you get the pictures back the photo 776 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,720 Speaker 1: shopped arm. That would be crazy. 777 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 2: It's all bad. Claire does not deserve Oh p what 778 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 2: so take take care? Yeah, you deserve it, so op says. 779 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 2: I told her. I was incredibly hurt and disappointed, but 780 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 2: if she didn't want me in the wedding, I wouldn't 781 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,680 Speaker 2: attend at all. I also handed her all the receipts 782 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 2: for the events and expenses i'd covered, totaling several thousand dollars, 783 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 2: and told her that since I was no longer made 784 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 2: of honor, I expected her and her fiance to reimburse me. 785 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,799 Speaker 2: I explained that I'd only spent that money because of 786 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 2: the role I was playing in the wedding, and if 787 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 2: I wasn't part of it anymore, it wasn't fair for 788 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 2: me to shoulder those costs. Claire flipped out, Oh did 789 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 2: typical Claire? 790 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,600 Speaker 1: I knew you, what Claire? Because you? 791 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, she does? 792 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: Devils spawned Claire. 793 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 2: Stinky, stinky Claire. 794 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:03,560 Speaker 3: She accused me of being petty and selfish and said 795 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 3: I was trying to ruin her big day. WHOA The 796 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 3: amount of lack of self awareness in that sentence is 797 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 3: making me a malfunction. She told me that it was 798 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,920 Speaker 3: quote unquote tacky to ask for my money back, and 799 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 3: that those expenses were my responsibility as the maid of honor. 800 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,760 Speaker 2: I reminded her, then, I'm not the maid of honor anymore. 801 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,960 Speaker 2: She made that decision woo, and therefore those costs are 802 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:31,720 Speaker 2: no longer mine to cover. 803 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:39,319 Speaker 1: Naiceh Uh, take her down, slam dunker like you like 804 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,440 Speaker 1: you're in the basketball league. 805 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 2: In the basketball league, that will remain nameless because we 806 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 2: don't do free sponsors. 807 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: Yes, that's why I did it, because I didn't remember 808 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:48,919 Speaker 1: the name. 809 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 2: If if league Commissioner Adam Silver wants to hit us up, 810 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:55,400 Speaker 2: we can, we can, we can talk. So since then, Claire, 811 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,840 Speaker 2: her fiance, and even some of her family members have 812 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,359 Speaker 2: been blowing up my phone with calls and texts. They're 813 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 2: calling me a bad friend, saying I'm being vindictive and 814 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 2: accusing me of trying to sabotage the wedding. 815 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,360 Speaker 1: There's no way they know the full story. Yeah, Claire 816 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,320 Speaker 1: went to the family and was like, she just randomly 817 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 1: took out all the money from the wedding. I don't understand. 818 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 2: She says, she's not going to be made of honor anymore. 819 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:25,000 Speaker 2: She's Yeah, no, that's Claire Claire, Claire just doll Claire. 820 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,560 Speaker 2: One of her family members even said, it's just pregnancy 821 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,240 Speaker 2: hormones making me act this way and I should calm 822 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 2: down and let it go. My husband has been incredibly supportive, 823 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 2: as he should, and says I did the right thing. 824 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 2: He pointed out that I've gone above and beyond for 825 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,440 Speaker 2: Claire and that the way she treated me, especially knowing 826 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 2: I'm pregnant, is cruel and unacceptable. He agrees that I 827 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 2: shouldn't be out thousands of dollars for a wedding I'm 828 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 2: not even attending. Still, the constant messages and accusations have 829 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,759 Speaker 2: made me second guess myself. I feel humiliated and hurt 830 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 2: my someone I thought was my best friend. But I 831 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,040 Speaker 2: also feel like I'm standing up for myself by asking 832 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,120 Speaker 2: for reimbursement and refusing to let her treat me this way. 833 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,000 Speaker 2: So reddit am I the a hole? Should I have 834 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,120 Speaker 2: just let it go and written off the money? Or 835 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,040 Speaker 2: am I justified in asking for repayment and skipping the 836 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:16,920 Speaker 2: wedding Entirely? 837 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 1: You're not the a hole? 838 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 2: Absolutely not. In fact, I would actually say that you 839 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,080 Speaker 2: should go if they don't pay you back. Yeah, it's like, 840 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,920 Speaker 2: if there's any legal recourse you could make that they 841 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,680 Speaker 2: stole this money from you, because it was probably it 842 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,799 Speaker 2: was given under the context the text that you were 843 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,839 Speaker 2: made of honor, and then they were just like, by 844 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,920 Speaker 2: the way, you're not allowed to be pregnant, so and 845 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:39,600 Speaker 2: then you're like, all right, well, if you don't want 846 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,720 Speaker 2: a pregnant person there, I'm just not gonna go. Yeah, 847 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 2: I don't know, you've done nothing wrong. 848 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,880 Speaker 1: I mean, like going through the court stuff would be 849 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,319 Speaker 1: pretty tricky, especially because a thousand dollars is not like 850 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:49,520 Speaker 1: maybe you could do small. 851 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 2: Courts like plural thousands of thousands. You're right, that's the 852 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,000 Speaker 2: other part of why Clare this is absurd to be like, yeah, 853 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,719 Speaker 2: I know, you literally just spent racks on racks on 854 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 2: my actual wedding that's not yours, by the way, but 855 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 2: you're you're pregnant, so that's true. 856 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,600 Speaker 1: If it's like multiple thousands of dollars, maybe you could 857 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,320 Speaker 1: try and do small claims or something. 858 00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, but hopefully it won't get to that 859 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 2: point and somebody in Claire's life will recognize when the 860 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,160 Speaker 2: truth because clearly everyone's been told a lie. When it 861 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,920 Speaker 2: comes to life. They'll be like, hey, Claire, you're being 862 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,719 Speaker 2: a monster. Why don't you go to give her money? 863 00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,440 Speaker 1: To give you You told me that she was gaining weight. 864 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's absurd gaining a baby, Claire. Claire really 865 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,720 Speaker 2: said there are no fatty boom batties allowed at my wedding. 866 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,960 Speaker 2: It's like, I'm pregnant. I am fully pregnant, full pregnant. 867 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,759 Speaker 1: Come on, and also again like literally, even if she 868 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: was gaining weight, that's your best friend, Dix. You just 869 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,279 Speaker 1: spent thousands of dollars. Yes, like, get out of here. 870 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:46,680 Speaker 2: Update. Hello everyone, This will be my only update hopefully. 871 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,040 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for the support and advice. It 872 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,000 Speaker 2: truly helped me through this difficult time. After I stood 873 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 2: firm on being reimbursed for the expenses, I covered is 874 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 2: made of honor and made it clear I was prepared 875 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,360 Speaker 2: to take the matter to small claims court, things escalated. 876 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 2: Oh Claire and her family kept messaging me, trying to 877 00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,759 Speaker 2: guilt me, but I didn't budge. I decided to send 878 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,520 Speaker 2: the Reddit post to Claire's family to give them the 879 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,359 Speaker 2: full context, and it seemed to get through to them. 880 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,720 Speaker 2: Shortly after, Claire's father reached out. He was polite, apologetic, 881 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 2: and agreed to pay me back in full. We found 882 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:22,399 Speaker 2: the voice, So is it. 883 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,880 Speaker 1: I wonder if, like, how did oh Pi say that? 884 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,800 Speaker 1: She said, I reached out to the father. 885 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:30,799 Speaker 2: She sent the whole Reddit post to the family. Oh okay. 886 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 1: I thought, yeah, maybe this will give you a little 887 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,600 Speaker 1: and he was a context Claire not looking too bid. 888 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go that directly. It was like, hey, 889 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 2: the money, I will give it to you. So true 890 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,920 Speaker 2: to his word, he reimbursed me for everything. While I 891 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 2: appreciated his willingness to resolve the issue, it didn't change 892 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,960 Speaker 2: how I felt about Claire or how deeply hurt I 893 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 2: was by her actions. 894 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 1: Well, I mean she didn't she didn't refund the money 895 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 1: her dad. 896 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,279 Speaker 2: No, not at all, And I think, yeah, we kind 897 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,120 Speaker 2: of skirted over that. It's got to be brutal to 898 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 2: find out someone you know, someone you considered your best friend, 899 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:02,719 Speaker 2: is now trying to pull this on you. 900 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, like that's like you were about to be your 901 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 1: maid of honor and that's you know, that's what she's pulling. 902 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:12,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. After receiving payment, I blocked Claire, her fiance, and 903 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,640 Speaker 2: her entire family. It's incredibly sad to lose a friendship 904 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,239 Speaker 2: I believed would last forever, but I now see that 905 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,320 Speaker 2: someone who could treat me that way was never truly 906 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,399 Speaker 2: my friend. It's painful, but I'm focusing on those who 907 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,560 Speaker 2: genuinely care about me, my amazing husband who has been 908 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,960 Speaker 2: my rock, and our growing family. And by the way, 909 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,839 Speaker 2: you can join our growing family every weekday at three 910 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,880 Speaker 2: pm PST when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, 911 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,080 Speaker 2: and Twitch. All you have to do is tap out 912 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,720 Speaker 2: our profile on any one of those beautiful platforms. 913 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,120 Speaker 1: And you're in and make our family bigger. 914 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,360 Speaker 2: So before we finish up the story, I think it 915 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,800 Speaker 2: was pretty poignant when she brought up it's like she blocked, 916 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,080 Speaker 2: she blocked her, she blocked the whole family. She's kind 917 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,839 Speaker 2: of doing a clean cut and moving on with her life, 918 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,480 Speaker 2: and it's like, yeah, after somebody really does show the 919 00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,480 Speaker 2: true traders to you like this, like there is little 920 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,080 Speaker 2: to no explanation outside of like, no, I fully like, 921 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,440 Speaker 2: I don't even know I was on an aunty Violet. 922 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,279 Speaker 2: I blacked out for for an entire month, and I 923 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,160 Speaker 2: just came back into my body. I don't know what 924 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,919 Speaker 2: I was possessed by. A spirit of some kind who 925 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 2: didn't like pregnant women. I guess you. 926 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:20,600 Speaker 1: Excuses for this behavior. 927 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,440 Speaker 2: It's pretty much the only one I can think of 928 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:26,520 Speaker 2: right now, possessed by anti pregnancy ghost. But let's be real, 929 00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,719 Speaker 2: that's not happening. So sometimes, even though it's the bitter 930 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,719 Speaker 2: pill to swallow, you are going to be better off 931 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,320 Speaker 2: over time because you don't want someone like this. 932 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,080 Speaker 1: Your life is going to be commenting on your body. 933 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 2: They're not in your corner. They're supposed to be your 934 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,799 Speaker 2: best friend, and they clearly don't even appreciate how good 935 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 2: of a best friend you were. 936 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,720 Speaker 1: Exactly at all, no appreciation. You don't need that person 937 00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:48,600 Speaker 1: in your life, and you're gonna have. 938 00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:49,719 Speaker 2: You gonna have. 939 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,240 Speaker 1: You have your husband, you got your baby on the way, 940 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 1: and that's only And now you got your money back, 941 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,040 Speaker 1: So win's a win. 942 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 2: To everyone who commented and supported me, thank you again. 943 00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,120 Speaker 2: Your encouragement gave me this strength to stand up for 944 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 2: myself and do what was right. I realized I got 945 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,120 Speaker 2: out easy from this hellish situation, and I will now 946 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,439 Speaker 2: leave it all behind me as I'm ready to move 947 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,760 Speaker 2: forward and focus on my pregnancy, my husband, and our baby. 948 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,200 Speaker 1: Yes, which is what I said. 949 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:17,840 Speaker 2: Indeed, here's to new beginnings, better friendships, and prioritizing the 950 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,000 Speaker 2: people who truly deserve your love. Thank you and I 951 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,880 Speaker 2: wish you all the best and we do too. Op 952 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,960 Speaker 2: because that is the end of that story. 953 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 1: A friend's bridesmaid can't stop commenting about my body. We 954 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:30,840 Speaker 1: left dinner early. 955 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,960 Speaker 2: I'm out of here this sorry. 956 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,080 Speaker 1: Opinions to yourself. If you have nothing this nice to say, 957 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,480 Speaker 1: don't say anything. Names are fake. It all started when 958 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:42,080 Speaker 1: my boyfriend's childhood friend asked my boyfriend to be a groomsman. 959 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:44,880 Speaker 1: This friend also invited my boyfriend to his joint bachelor 960 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,040 Speaker 1: slash bachelorette party. The couple was even kind enough to 961 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,440 Speaker 1: invite me too, even though I wasn't in the bridal party. 962 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,680 Speaker 1: It was going to be a week long beach trip 963 00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,480 Speaker 1: with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. By the way, this comes 964 00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:00,560 Speaker 1: from Few Signature nineteen thirty nine on the Okay Storytime 965 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,840 Speaker 1: suppured it. So now I'm not shy by any means, 966 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,319 Speaker 1: but it can be hard to meet a new group 967 00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,520 Speaker 1: of people for the first time on a vacation where 968 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,839 Speaker 1: they all know each other. So about a month before 969 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: the trip. I made my own bikini that was white 970 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,080 Speaker 1: with lace and pink bows. I was so excited to 971 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,200 Speaker 1: wear it and knew it would give me the confidence 972 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,160 Speaker 1: I needed to be scantily clad around girls I didn't know. 973 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,839 Speaker 1: On day one, my boyfriend and I get in late 974 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:24,840 Speaker 1: and go right to bed. The group left early the 975 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,920 Speaker 1: next morning for the beach, and we were about thirty 976 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 1: minutes behind them. I am a makeup girl, he always happened, 977 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,000 Speaker 1: so I get made up within reason to go to 978 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:34,680 Speaker 1: the beach. I popped on my new homemade bikini and. 979 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:35,719 Speaker 2: Was looking good. 980 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:40,719 Speaker 1: Baby woo, skin was glowing, a body was bodying so on. 981 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:45,040 Speaker 1: When we arrived, I saw that there were only three girls, 982 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,520 Speaker 1: the bride and her two friends. By the way, I 983 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,880 Speaker 1: only met the bride a couple of times and knew 984 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 1: her to be a shy but very sweet girl. I 985 00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,200 Speaker 1: say hi, then set my stuff down to take off 986 00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:58,000 Speaker 1: my cover up. When I remove my top, I hear wow, 987 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,520 Speaker 1: look at her from across the circle. Then I hear 988 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,919 Speaker 1: a different voice say so petite, I'm five foot six 989 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,799 Speaker 1: with a ginormous booty. No, I don't work out, I 990 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,160 Speaker 1: just eat a lot of French fries. 991 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:14,719 Speaker 2: Wow. That's the dream workout routine. I just eat fries 992 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,600 Speaker 2: and have a large bottom, So. 993 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:19,040 Speaker 1: I assume the girls are talking about someone else nearby. 994 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,200 Speaker 1: I then hear the first voice say I wish I 995 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,280 Speaker 1: had our body, to which the second voice responds, I don't. 996 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,439 Speaker 1: I'm glad God blessed me with these big old bazangas. 997 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:29,400 Speaker 1: Who are these people? 998 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,400 Speaker 2: You're sam? His favorite word just got said, he is 999 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,399 Speaker 2: he gonna sprint in here now, freaking crazy. I mean 1000 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,160 Speaker 2: people talk like that though, it's. 1001 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,680 Speaker 1: Like no, but to talk about that in front of 1002 00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:39,719 Speaker 1: someone you don't know. 1003 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,839 Speaker 2: Was it? I mean, like truly, like I mean like 1004 00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,440 Speaker 2: you're there to be like direct face to face, like 1005 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,400 Speaker 2: that's one thing, but maybe these people just don't have 1006 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,799 Speaker 2: the like wherewithal to know like that that person is 1007 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:53,759 Speaker 2: within earshot. Not saying that toxic talk is like a 1008 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,080 Speaker 2: good thing, but it is like a fact, like people 1009 00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:59,239 Speaker 2: people mouth off because and most of the time it's 1010 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,799 Speaker 2: because it's they're insecure, like and they're just trying to 1011 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,799 Speaker 2: take the attention away from them because they don't want 1012 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,759 Speaker 2: anyone to pry into their stuff. Yeah. 1013 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,040 Speaker 1: No, it's just like really uncomfortable. I think to one 1014 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,000 Speaker 1: to hear, oh I wish I had her body. That's 1015 00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,040 Speaker 1: already kind of an uncomfortable thing to hear when like 1016 00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:15,920 Speaker 1: someone's commentated about it. 1017 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:17,040 Speaker 2: I think that's a compliment. 1018 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,400 Speaker 1: I think it's a little bit uncomfortable. I mean, I 1019 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,760 Speaker 1: think it can be because it's like I think. 1020 00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,040 Speaker 2: The way that op phrased that where it was like 1021 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:27,120 Speaker 2: what body was bodying? Like I thought, I feel like 1022 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 2: she'd be like thank you. 1023 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:32,000 Speaker 1: I well, okay, I think that a better Personally. I 1024 00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,440 Speaker 1: think a better compliment is like, oh my god, like 1025 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,200 Speaker 1: you look great, like your bathing suit, like really like 1026 00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 1: something along the lines of you look great, you look 1027 00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,440 Speaker 1: really fit, you're looking healthy, blah blah blah blah. But 1028 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:46,080 Speaker 1: to say I wish I had that person's body, especially 1029 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,360 Speaker 1: in front of them, it's kind of icky to me. 1030 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:53,319 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like it's the the underneath, the underlying thing 1031 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,840 Speaker 1: is I'm insecure but or like I don't like a 1032 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:57,799 Speaker 1: part of myself, and it's like it's putting that on 1033 00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:58,440 Speaker 1: the other person. 1034 00:45:58,520 --> 00:45:59,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's true. 1035 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,680 Speaker 1: And that's just one comment. And then the other comment 1036 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,440 Speaker 1: is even worse because it's saying I don't want your body. 1037 00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,000 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so yeah, I know what you're thinking. There's 1038 00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,920 Speaker 1: no way someone said that, I r l. But they did. 1039 00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,440 Speaker 1: Oh they did say big Old bozongas. 1040 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,200 Speaker 2: Big old Bozonga. That's a quote. 1041 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,719 Speaker 1: Of course. I giggle to myself because I have the 1042 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,399 Speaker 1: humor of a fourteen year old boy. 1043 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:22,239 Speaker 2: Hey, join the clobe, let's go. 1044 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,879 Speaker 1: I go to sit down and immediately bond with all 1045 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,600 Speaker 1: three girls over a teeny show. But not even five 1046 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,080 Speaker 1: minutes into the conversation, the Big Bozonga bride's maid, Kaylee, 1047 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,080 Speaker 1: interrupts us and asks what cup size? 1048 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,560 Speaker 2: I am? All right, now it's getting weird. 1049 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,880 Speaker 1: It was already weird, this is even weirder. 1050 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:39,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1051 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:41,720 Speaker 1: I choke at a laugh and say, I'm a thirty 1052 00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:44,520 Speaker 1: four B Everyone's looking at me. I'm literally sitting in 1053 00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,680 Speaker 1: the center of eight dudes. I don't know, turning beat 1054 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,040 Speaker 1: red because I have just met all of these people 1055 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,280 Speaker 1: mere moments ago. Kaylee, who's twenty nine by the way, says, huh, 1056 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,680 Speaker 1: I don't even think I can conceptualize what a B 1057 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:58,359 Speaker 1: cup really looks like. Are you are you literally are 1058 00:46:58,440 --> 00:46:59,080 Speaker 1: looking at them? 1059 00:46:59,160 --> 00:46:59,319 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1060 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:00,440 Speaker 2: Are you okay? Are you? 1061 00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:01,120 Speaker 1: Are you blind? 1062 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,360 Speaker 2: Are you blind? Hi? I'm right in front of you. 1063 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,279 Speaker 2: What's going on? What's going on here? 1064 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,080 Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, what the heck does that mean? But 1065 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,839 Speaker 1: I say, well, you don't have to here they are 1066 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,759 Speaker 1: and gesture to what I'm working with. Then her sister 1067 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,400 Speaker 1: chimes in says, oh, but it must be so nice, 1068 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,600 Speaker 1: no back pain. I can tell she's trying to make 1069 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,319 Speaker 1: the conversation less weird, so I say, yeah, that's true, 1070 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,399 Speaker 1: but I wouldn't mind filling out a dress every once 1071 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,040 Speaker 1: in a while. The group laughs. I managed to make friendly, 1072 00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,640 Speaker 1: polite small talk with them throughout the day, until Kaylee 1073 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,360 Speaker 1: turns to me again and asks what I do for 1074 00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,160 Speaker 1: a living. I tell her I'm a writer. I work 1075 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:37,520 Speaker 1: as a ghostwriter of sorts on nonfiction speeches, articles, stories professionally. 1076 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,520 Speaker 1: She says, okay, but do you read? Though? How else 1077 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,879 Speaker 1: does one become a writer? I wonder, but I kept 1078 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,400 Speaker 1: it cool and say, of course, I love to read you. 1079 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,279 Speaker 1: She says that she's read seventy books already that year. 1080 00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,360 Speaker 1: I'm impressed. I mostly read very stuffy literature, so it 1081 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:52,879 Speaker 1: takes me a while to get through a book. 1082 00:47:53,239 --> 00:48:01,080 Speaker 2: Probably she's reading Green Eggs and Ham read Redfish, Bluefish, Caterpillar. 1083 00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:05,120 Speaker 2: I actually only read books written by doctors. Yea one 1084 00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,640 Speaker 2: doctor doctor seuss Uh, Yes. 1085 00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:09,359 Speaker 1: I don't worry. It's kind of where I draw the line. 1086 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,120 Speaker 1: I'd probably read about ten books so far that year 1087 00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:15,000 Speaker 1: and told her as much. Boy did she love that. 1088 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,120 Speaker 2: This is where it gets juicy. 1089 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,839 Speaker 1: Why is this girl so threatened by. 1090 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,040 Speaker 2: Opee because she probably thinks she looks really good. 1091 00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like I need to take her down, which 1092 00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:26,600 Speaker 1: is so embarrassing, Like so embarrassing for you. 1093 00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,239 Speaker 2: I feel like my equivalent of this is like if 1094 00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,279 Speaker 2: like there's a guy who like makes like a really 1095 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,160 Speaker 2: good joke, but it's like I feel like I made 1096 00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:35,040 Speaker 2: the joke first, and then they get the laugh, and 1097 00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:36,919 Speaker 2: then I'm like, all right, buddy, let's see how funny 1098 00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:37,359 Speaker 2: you really are. 1099 00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:39,480 Speaker 1: Let see what she can take. 1100 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,400 Speaker 2: But I haven't done that in years. In fact, I'm 1101 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,279 Speaker 2: usually the other guy and then someone else gets mad 1102 00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,080 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't care, it's okay, buddy. 1103 00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,840 Speaker 1: Like though, if I ever repeat a joke, I'm like, 1104 00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,640 Speaker 1: I didn't come with that. That was them, That was 1105 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,160 Speaker 1: that true, Gotta give credit true. The whole trip, one 1106 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:56,319 Speaker 1: of the grooms in was flirting with me relentlessly while 1107 00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:57,200 Speaker 1: her boyfriend's there. 1108 00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,400 Speaker 2: That's crazy vibes. Yes, go. 1109 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,720 Speaker 1: My boyfriend was getting jealous, and he's not the jealous type. 1110 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,400 Speaker 1: This groomsman was always trying to get me alone, ordering 1111 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,960 Speaker 1: for me at restaurants, acting like he was my partner. 1112 00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:12,080 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. I mean, that's not even like getting jealous. 1113 00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:15,920 Speaker 1: It's just like, dude, that's like stop, Yeah, it's just holt. Meanwhile, 1114 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:20,080 Speaker 1: Kaylee was flirting with my boyfriend. I would not want 1115 00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 1: to be like, why are your friend's friends with these people? 1116 00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:23,480 Speaker 2: I don't know. 1117 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,560 Speaker 1: That's kind of a red flag. Honestly, yes, my boyfriend's handsome, 1118 00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:29,400 Speaker 1: but he hates attention and refused to engage in her 1119 00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,480 Speaker 1: flirty behavior. It was annoying, but I was not intimidated 1120 00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:35,279 Speaker 1: by Kaylee in the slightest, so I let it go. 1121 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:37,400 Speaker 1: On the last day, we decided to go to dinner. 1122 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:40,080 Speaker 1: Once we were already ready, we split up and took 1123 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,400 Speaker 1: different cars. I'm a very tight b person and couldn't 1124 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 1: decide if I needed a bra or no bra for 1125 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,800 Speaker 1: my dress, so I brought one with me in case. 1126 00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:51,000 Speaker 1: I was not trying to have any wardrobe malfunctions in 1127 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,080 Speaker 1: front of my man's friends. On the right over to 1128 00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,399 Speaker 1: the restaurant. I'm sitting in the car talking to someone 1129 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,759 Speaker 1: in the back seat when I noticed my right is 1130 00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:02,760 Speaker 1: hanging out of my dress. I g and apologize. I'm sorry, 1131 00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,520 Speaker 1: but the person in the back says he didn't notice. 1132 00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:08,480 Speaker 1: My boyfriend, however, is grinning ear to ear having gotten 1133 00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:09,600 Speaker 1: a sneak pee. 1134 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,600 Speaker 2: Why didn't he say anything, Well, he was just like 1135 00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,399 Speaker 2: enjoying the moment, really in the moment. 1136 00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,480 Speaker 1: Luckily, I had a bra in my bag because I'm 1137 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,480 Speaker 1: a genius. I discreetly slipped the bra on underneath my 1138 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,960 Speaker 1: dress and we all go out to meet the others 1139 00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,360 Speaker 1: at the bar. The girls are all talking with the 1140 00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,920 Speaker 1: fun time they had at the beach. Then Kaylee says Claire, 1141 00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,400 Speaker 1: I have to know what makeup do you use? You 1142 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,880 Speaker 1: swim and it doesn't even come off. I told her 1143 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:37,120 Speaker 1: the brand Lriel infallible prom Oh, I can't say it. 1144 00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,400 Speaker 1: I told her the brand unnamed. If you're wondering, she says, 1145 00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,239 Speaker 1: but like you seem to wear so much foundation, I'm 1146 00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:45,480 Speaker 1: just surprised it looks so good after getting wet. 1147 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,480 Speaker 2: Oh my god, girl, I'm not even in tuned into makeup, 1148 00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,840 Speaker 2: but come up, shut up. I know what you're trying 1149 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,239 Speaker 2: to say. 1150 00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:55,920 Speaker 1: Shut up, hatter again. She's saying this in front of 1151 00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,120 Speaker 1: like fifteen people who are all listening because she's loud. 1152 00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,239 Speaker 1: Af I want to ask her if she's ever heard 1153 00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:03,919 Speaker 1: of settings pray, but I just shrug instead. She wants 1154 00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,319 Speaker 1: shut up and says, I never wear a makeup. I 1155 00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:08,680 Speaker 1: just don't feel like I need it. Hm. I can 1156 00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:12,279 Speaker 1: see a foundation line on her job lies. 1157 00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:15,799 Speaker 2: M yeah, but I bet you. OP didn't say, Oh 1158 00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:19,720 Speaker 2: really is that a foundation yeah on your She just said, okay, cool. 1159 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:23,520 Speaker 1: Oh wait, there's even more uh, glittery gold eyeshadow, mascara, 1160 00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:25,759 Speaker 1: even lip color. But what do I know? She must 1161 00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:28,760 Speaker 1: have those naturally. Once the table's ready, she starts talking 1162 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:32,880 Speaker 1: again about her bazangas. Wow this time, I was going 1163 00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,000 Speaker 1: to go bra less in this dress, but the girls 1164 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,840 Speaker 1: needed support. I told her it's probably for the best 1165 00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,839 Speaker 1: because I'd had a nip slip in the car, which, 1166 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,160 Speaker 1: for the record, was my first and only ever nipslip. 1167 00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,200 Speaker 1: I told her it was crazy. I looked down. I 1168 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,760 Speaker 1: noticed my flown out. Okay, maybe flown was a strong word, 1169 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,480 Speaker 1: but I was grasping out straws to relate to this chick. 1170 00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,600 Speaker 1: I honestly probably would not have told this story to 1171 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:53,040 Speaker 1: this girl. 1172 00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,160 Speaker 2: I like the use of flowing out. That is funny. 1173 00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:57,720 Speaker 2: Flown like it had wings. 1174 00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes they just they just cape. 1175 00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:03,200 Speaker 2: Who get back? How'd you get here? Like? You're like 1176 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,719 Speaker 2: really didn't like it's on a kite string? Kayleie, I'm sorry, 1177 00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,799 Speaker 2: It's just that was too much. That was too much. 1178 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,600 Speaker 1: You really into the visualizations of these things today. 1179 00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1180 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:18,080 Speaker 1: Kaylee turned to me and said, in the loudest voice possible, 1181 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:19,959 Speaker 1: you are fluts. 1182 00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:22,920 Speaker 2: I find that hard to believe. Uh huh. 1183 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:23,960 Speaker 1: The table went silent. 1184 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:24,400 Speaker 2: M M. 1185 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,480 Speaker 1: My boyfriend froze. We all just looked at her. No 1186 00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,040 Speaker 1: in said a word, but you know what word I 1187 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:31,799 Speaker 1: have to say. You can join us live very week 1188 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,360 Speaker 1: to at three PMPST on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok. Just 1189 00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:36,200 Speaker 1: tap our profiles, right, that's all it takes. 1190 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,560 Speaker 2: Probably live now, one tap. You can fly over there, 1191 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:38,879 Speaker 2: you can. 1192 00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,040 Speaker 1: Fly right over and there is a little bit left. 1193 00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,160 Speaker 1: But I want the boy what do you think what's 1194 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:43,600 Speaker 1: gonna happen? 1195 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,600 Speaker 2: I want the next boyfriend to be like the next moment, 1196 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,600 Speaker 2: the next moment to be the boyfriend standing up and 1197 00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:51,520 Speaker 2: just being like, I like them a lot. 1198 00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,280 Speaker 1: I like, don't my girlfriend's bazongas. 1199 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,200 Speaker 2: Don't talk about those bizongas like that in front of me. 1200 00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:58,960 Speaker 2: Am I doing it right, Babe. 1201 00:52:58,719 --> 00:52:59,960 Speaker 1: Keep my girlfriend. 1202 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,680 Speaker 2: This bizong goes out of your mouth. Please, that's that's 1203 00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:04,120 Speaker 2: my thing. 1204 00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:07,120 Speaker 1: That's my thing. Okay, they're my mouth. 1205 00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,880 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, I mean I think the good news 1206 00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,600 Speaker 2: is is that even though this is clearly like you're going, 1207 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,719 Speaker 2: she already knows how to go about this. Because a 1208 00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,000 Speaker 2: person who tries to like just get at you like 1209 00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,640 Speaker 2: that and just always tries your little you just you 1210 00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:23,080 Speaker 2: completely go they go low, you go high. 1211 00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:25,640 Speaker 1: You say, oh yeah, I know it's crazy, but you 1212 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,440 Speaker 1: know it happened. 1213 00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,439 Speaker 2: And they just keep digging that hole. Everyone just starts going, 1214 00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:33,680 Speaker 2: why is she so annoying? And every little thing she 1215 00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,320 Speaker 2: says is she's just nag, nag, nag. 1216 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:39,560 Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, no, people who are horrible, like when 1217 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,799 Speaker 1: you continue to go high and they keep going low, 1218 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:43,879 Speaker 1: people notice, yeah, and you don't have to do anything. 1219 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,160 Speaker 1: They're digging their own graves exactly. But there's a little 1220 00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:46,759 Speaker 1: bit left in the string. 1221 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:47,520 Speaker 2: Okay. 1222 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:51,200 Speaker 1: After very painful twenty to thirty seconds. I laughed to 1223 00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:56,319 Speaker 1: try to play it off, and slowly conversations resumed. Wow, 1224 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,000 Speaker 1: my boyfriend was horrified and we decided to leave the 1225 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,399 Speaker 1: dinner early, but not before Kaylee called the bride out 1226 00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,360 Speaker 1: for wearing non nude underwear under a light colored dress, 1227 00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:06,600 Speaker 1: something none of us would have ever noticed. Why is 1228 00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,440 Speaker 1: she now calling out the bride. 1229 00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,080 Speaker 2: Because now she's like, my plan's failing. Oh my god, 1230 00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,759 Speaker 2: I know it'll make everyone like me. The bride's doing 1231 00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:14,439 Speaker 2: things wrong. 1232 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,920 Speaker 1: The bride looked really embarrassed. It was sad. Oh come on. 1233 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,120 Speaker 1: Fast forward to the next time I saw the group 1234 00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,120 Speaker 1: at the wedding. Kaylee took my phone from my purse 1235 00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,520 Speaker 1: and shared my location with her, then followed herself on 1236 00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,120 Speaker 1: Instagram from my profile? 1237 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,360 Speaker 2: Is that did she just commit a crime? 1238 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:32,640 Speaker 1: That seems like a crime. 1239 00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:36,520 Speaker 2: I think technically you giving yourself someone else's location without 1240 00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:38,760 Speaker 2: their permission is like, that's crazy. Have crime? 1241 00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:39,760 Speaker 1: That's crazy? 1242 00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,560 Speaker 2: Oh my god, lock her up now. 1243 00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm curious. Has anyone met a pick me girl that 1244 00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:47,200 Speaker 1: is one of the Bazunga obsessed variety? 1245 00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:48,520 Speaker 2: Is this mental illness? 1246 00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,000 Speaker 1: Let me know, I will never go to a joint 1247 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,240 Speaker 1: bachelor slash bachelorette party again. 1248 00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:54,479 Speaker 2: Wow, dang. 1249 00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:55,800 Speaker 1: Yeah these people. 1250 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:59,359 Speaker 2: Said, yeah, you don't hey, and exactly you don't even Oh, 1251 00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:01,719 Speaker 2: that was a bad idea from the very beginning, a 1252 00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:03,680 Speaker 2: joint bachelor bachelorette party. 1253 00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:04,840 Speaker 1: Well, I think it could be fun if you have 1254 00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:05,520 Speaker 1: cool friends. 1255 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:08,840 Speaker 2: Sure, but it's like sometimes there's boys night and sometimes 1256 00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,239 Speaker 2: there's girls night. Right, you don't usually take the boys 1257 00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,080 Speaker 2: to girls night. You don't usually take the girls to 1258 00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:13,799 Speaker 2: boys night, I think. 1259 00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:15,799 Speaker 1: But I do think it depends on the dynamic your 1260 00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,080 Speaker 1: friendship because I I mean, like I hang out with 1261 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:18,759 Speaker 1: a lot of men. 1262 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm not saying there's anything yeah, yeah, but sometime. 1263 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,720 Speaker 1: It depends on your dynamic because sometimes you have separate 1264 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,839 Speaker 1: friend groups, and I feel like that's more than live 1265 00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,120 Speaker 1: It's less like boys girls. It's like these are my 1266 00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,160 Speaker 1: friends and these are her friends, and we're going to 1267 00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,239 Speaker 1: have a night where we celebrate with our friends, you know. Yeah, 1268 00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:36,680 Speaker 1: rather than like combine every. 1269 00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:38,840 Speaker 2: I guess a bachelorette party is. I'm more thinking in 1270 00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:41,080 Speaker 2: the context of like, yeah, it's like everyone's got like 1271 00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,440 Speaker 2: a girlfriend, yeah, and it's like you know, you know, 1272 00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:46,000 Speaker 2: we're just like all vibe not doing boys stuff like 1273 00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:49,279 Speaker 2: digging holes and finding digging holes on the beach, which 1274 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:53,640 Speaker 2: is also completely open to any other gender on Earth. 1275 00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:57,840 Speaker 2: Under the entire spectrum, everyone can enjoy zagging holes and 1276 00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:58,960 Speaker 2: finding bugs. 1277 00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,279 Speaker 1: I freaking love dig holes and finding bugs. 1278 00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,520 Speaker 2: I like finding bugs until they find me. Yeah, and 1279 00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:04,960 Speaker 2: then I'm like, no, no, no, I find you. You 1280 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,480 Speaker 2: don't find me. I find you. I ended a friendship 1281 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:12,880 Speaker 2: of nine years. We just keep having disagreements. 1282 00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,399 Speaker 1: That's the time. If you keep disagreeing with your friend, 1283 00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:16,600 Speaker 1: then you gotta get rid of them. 1284 00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:20,759 Speaker 2: Heads up long post for context. I twenty six met 1285 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:25,360 Speaker 2: my best friend Felicia twenty seven in high school. Felicia 1286 00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,840 Speaker 2: has always been the hot headed friend, ready to argue, 1287 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:31,719 Speaker 2: while I've always been more laid back and chill. I've 1288 00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,400 Speaker 2: been diagnosed with anxiety, so I typically stay out of 1289 00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:37,359 Speaker 2: stressful situations. But in a way, we did balance each 1290 00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,719 Speaker 2: other out. By the way, this comes from user feisty 1291 00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:44,960 Speaker 2: con cont on the r slash Okay storytime Cebreddy. So 1292 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,880 Speaker 2: we kind of grew distant when she went to university 1293 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,400 Speaker 2: in China while I went to culinary school. Our schedules 1294 00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,400 Speaker 2: never really lined up, but we always would have found 1295 00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:56,800 Speaker 2: time for each other. She made new friends there, and 1296 00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,960 Speaker 2: I also made a new friend who she didn't like completely, 1297 00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:04,320 Speaker 2: but I'd always try for everyone to do something together. 1298 00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:07,120 Speaker 2: Around the same time last year, I was going through 1299 00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,640 Speaker 2: a lot of at work after maternity leave. I was 1300 00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:13,920 Speaker 2: being excluded and talked about and disrespected, which led me 1301 00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,280 Speaker 2: to go to HR about it, seeing as most of 1302 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:20,520 Speaker 2: it came from my boss, eh Fols, good boss. Felicia 1303 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:24,120 Speaker 2: was talking to me about my son and who watches him, 1304 00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,240 Speaker 2: and I know for a fact she had asked me 1305 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,880 Speaker 2: that five hundred times before, plus other people. So I 1306 00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,880 Speaker 2: stated randomly that I was kind of tired of people 1307 00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,760 Speaker 2: asking me about that. Wasn't with an attitude, It wasn't rude. 1308 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,479 Speaker 2: It was just saying something on my mind. But also 1309 00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,440 Speaker 2: knowing the person she is, I also said to her 1310 00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,880 Speaker 2: that it wasn't said with attitude. I was just dating 1311 00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,320 Speaker 2: something she knows. Felicia's you go wait, wait, Felicia, no, 1312 00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,680 Speaker 2: I swear no attitude. Please, she says this, She's like 1313 00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,760 Speaker 2: what she's like getting bigger, like Gandal from the first 1314 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:53,480 Speaker 2: like Lord of the Rings. 1315 00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:57,040 Speaker 1: WOI okay. 1316 00:57:57,320 --> 00:58:00,440 Speaker 2: So of course she took that horribly wrong and went 1317 00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:03,520 Speaker 2: off on me anyway, which in turn got me upset, 1318 00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:06,120 Speaker 2: so I went off on her. She was saying how 1319 00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:09,680 Speaker 2: she doesn't understand why I've gotten so feisty, strong headed, 1320 00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:11,440 Speaker 2: and I need to talk to her better than that. 1321 00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:13,840 Speaker 2: I started yelling, trying to explain to her that I 1322 00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:16,360 Speaker 2: said what I said without any aggrash id and still 1323 00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:18,440 Speaker 2: went out of my way to tell you this before 1324 00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,400 Speaker 2: you even responded to the initial statement. So why are 1325 00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:22,440 Speaker 2: you still behaving like this? 1326 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's kind of ridiculous when someone, I mean, even 1327 00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,200 Speaker 1: I think even if someone snaps or something like says 1328 00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:30,280 Speaker 1: something kind of like maybe rude because they're tired or something, 1329 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,320 Speaker 1: and then immediately or like they're like, I'm sorry that 1330 00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,360 Speaker 1: I didn't mean to say it like that, like just tired, 1331 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,440 Speaker 1: you know, came out wrong, and you still are like 1332 00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:38,360 Speaker 1: out there. 1333 00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:42,280 Speaker 2: You're like come on, come on, and I'm trying to 1334 00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:43,520 Speaker 2: skip the tutorial here. 1335 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:46,040 Speaker 1: It's a great comparison. 1336 00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:49,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyway, we went back and forth, on and on 1337 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,840 Speaker 2: until I lashed out and said what was on my mind, 1338 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,560 Speaker 2: including some depressing stuff due to my anxiety adding up again. 1339 00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:59,800 Speaker 2: She left without saying anything. I calmed myself down and 1340 00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,360 Speaker 2: went on with my life. She wished me happy birthday, 1341 00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:06,040 Speaker 2: told her condolences on her loss her grandfather had passed, 1342 00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:08,800 Speaker 2: and then I wished her happy birthday, which she didn't 1343 00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,840 Speaker 2: reply to. After a while, she concocted an idea in 1344 00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,320 Speaker 2: her head that I had blocked her, So then she 1345 00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:17,840 Speaker 2: proceeded to block me on everything, but not before sending 1346 00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:20,360 Speaker 2: a voice note saying, which before I get into that 1347 00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,360 Speaker 2: when a Romeo and Juliet type friendship they've got right 1348 00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:26,360 Speaker 2: there that, Well, you blocked me. I guess I'll block you, 1349 00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:30,120 Speaker 2: but I haven't blocked you anyway. That's a tragedy. And yeah, 1350 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,440 Speaker 2: we got a Greek tragedy right here? Was that Greek? No, 1351 00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,680 Speaker 2: Shakespeare wasn't Yeah what am I talking about? Anyways? The 1352 00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:39,040 Speaker 2: voice note said, I'm a horrible friend. Didn't you realize 1353 00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:41,800 Speaker 2: this when I was paying for you at every opportunity 1354 00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:44,160 Speaker 2: I got. I had more expendable income, so I was 1355 00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:47,120 Speaker 2: never one to not offer assistance or just spend on 1356 00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:48,800 Speaker 2: you for the fun of it. Oh, so that was 1357 00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,480 Speaker 2: that was Opie's comment on it. Didn't you realize that 1358 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,720 Speaker 2: I'm a terrible friend? Oh you didn't realize that sooner? Yeah? 1359 00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:57,840 Speaker 2: Are you sure you don't have any attitude. 1360 00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:59,560 Speaker 1: You might have a little bit, but also they might 1361 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:00,240 Speaker 1: both have a bit. 1362 01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:01,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think maybe. 1363 01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:04,439 Speaker 1: Hey, sometimes two people with a lot of attitudes don't 1364 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:04,800 Speaker 1: work out. 1365 01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,880 Speaker 2: Oh yeah they can. They collide like Godzilla and King Kong. 1366 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:10,760 Speaker 2: Yeah they're like and then they get united and fight 1367 01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:12,200 Speaker 2: against Mecha Godzilla. 1368 01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:12,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1369 01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,320 Speaker 2: Yes, and then yes, it's the boss. 1370 01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:16,520 Speaker 1: That's the problem. 1371 01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:18,880 Speaker 2: It's gonna be the boss. I see you. They're gonna 1372 01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,800 Speaker 2: do Godzilla in King Kong versus Mecha Godzilla, and Mecha 1373 01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:24,560 Speaker 2: Godzilla is the boss. Anyway, that was a very twelve 1374 01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:28,680 Speaker 2: year old brain moment. Moving on. The friendship wasn't working anyway. 1375 01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:32,000 Speaker 2: Oh this is why I have no friends. I do. 1376 01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,680 Speaker 2: I just don't keep everyone close due to their values 1377 01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,760 Speaker 2: not matching mine. I need mental help. True, but don't 1378 01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:40,440 Speaker 2: use it as something to attack me with facts. You 1379 01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,440 Speaker 2: also do and say the same thing sometimes, so it 1380 01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:46,720 Speaker 2: would be hypocritical. I like toxic relationships. Hope he had 1381 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:49,120 Speaker 2: nothing to say about that. I'm immature and I don't 1382 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,560 Speaker 2: know how to be a friend, amongst other things. I'm 1383 01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:53,880 Speaker 2: not gonna say that I'm the perfect friend because I'm not. 1384 01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,760 Speaker 2: I get annoyed easily I don't like people to tell 1385 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:59,120 Speaker 2: me that crap that doesn't make sense, and I'm not 1386 01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:01,440 Speaker 2: the best at so social cues, and i do need 1387 01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,800 Speaker 2: mental help. That is a fact, and it is something 1388 01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:06,760 Speaker 2: I've been working on. It's never something I've used to 1389 01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:09,840 Speaker 2: fuel an argument. But my thing about it is why 1390 01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,800 Speaker 2: not say these things before? I should have left things 1391 01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:14,920 Speaker 2: as it was, but I ended up reaching out through 1392 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,560 Speaker 2: her boyfriend and then she unblocked me. We talked it 1393 01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:21,040 Speaker 2: out and we were okay. Occasionally calls me feisty, and 1394 01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,480 Speaker 2: even though I don't appreciate it, I usually take it 1395 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,520 Speaker 2: as a cue to shut up. Until recently it's petty, 1396 01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,720 Speaker 2: but it annoys me because it was so unwarranted. I 1397 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:32,320 Speaker 2: was wondering if there was something wrong with me. Felicia 1398 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,520 Speaker 2: and I made plans for her to come to my 1399 01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:38,000 Speaker 2: apartment about a month ago. Nowhere in these plans was 1400 01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:39,960 Speaker 2: it stated that she wanted to spend the night, so 1401 01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:43,440 Speaker 2: I wasn't even considering that my boyfriend and my baby 1402 01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,640 Speaker 2: were sleeping in the room. And as soon as I 1403 01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,520 Speaker 2: told her that, her mood switched and she told me 1404 01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,640 Speaker 2: she was leaving, I calmed her down and told her 1405 01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,560 Speaker 2: he's not staying he was just passing by after work 1406 01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:55,480 Speaker 2: because he said he wanted to cook for me. Am, 1407 01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,200 Speaker 2: I supposed to tell him no, absolutely, not no, you 1408 01:01:58,280 --> 01:01:59,920 Speaker 2: say yes to that. Yeah, he said he's got a 1409 01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:00,440 Speaker 2: cook for you. 1410 01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:03,160 Speaker 1: You say, you always say, you say if anyone says 1411 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:04,680 Speaker 1: you gonna cook for you. He said, thank you. 1412 01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,520 Speaker 2: She had an attitude for a good chunk of the 1413 01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:10,360 Speaker 2: evening while on her phone until we eventually sparked a 1414 01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:13,680 Speaker 2: conversation that even included my boyfriend while he cooked. After that, 1415 01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,400 Speaker 2: we all ate and he left. Things went on as normal. 1416 01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:19,000 Speaker 2: Next day was when she bugged the heck out of me. 1417 01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,400 Speaker 2: We live in a place where there's different ways to 1418 01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,439 Speaker 2: say things and different slangs and broken English. I tend 1419 01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:27,720 Speaker 2: to use words everyone understands. My son's hair is braided, 1420 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,760 Speaker 2: So I said, I have to unplait his hair so 1421 01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:36,280 Speaker 2: I could wash it. Loose out, yeah, unplate loose out, yeah, unplait. 1422 01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:40,520 Speaker 2: Thinking she can't hear me loose out. We say loose out, 1423 01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:44,000 Speaker 2: So what's wrong with me saying unplate? It means the 1424 01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:46,600 Speaker 2: same thing. She then calls me feisty. 1425 01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:47,880 Speaker 1: What is going on here? 1426 01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:50,800 Speaker 2: Felicia's being like, no, you say it? This way, and 1427 01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:53,360 Speaker 2: she's like, nah, yeah, exactly, it's the same thing. Yeah, 1428 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,480 Speaker 2: but say it this way though. 1429 01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:56,760 Speaker 1: That's like such a ridiculous thing to get mad at 1430 01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:58,920 Speaker 1: someone about. Yeah, like the wording of something. 1431 01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:02,960 Speaker 2: Felicia's the one with an attitude here one hundred percentype. 1432 01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:07,160 Speaker 2: So at this point I'm flabbergasted. I love that word, 1433 01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:10,440 Speaker 2: because why are we picking a fight over my choice 1434 01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:13,320 Speaker 2: of words? She screamed this so loud, I'm pretty sure 1435 01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:15,920 Speaker 2: my neighborhood heard her. I looked at her and then 1436 01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:18,240 Speaker 2: ignored her for the rest of the day, because why 1437 01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:19,440 Speaker 2: I would have kicked her out. 1438 01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,040 Speaker 1: I yeah, would have been like, Okay, you need to 1439 01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:24,880 Speaker 1: go home, because you're making a big deal over literally nothing. 1440 01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:27,560 Speaker 2: You're yelling at me over mere yelling at me over 1441 01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:28,560 Speaker 2: the synonyms. 1442 01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,200 Speaker 1: I think if you have a friend who's yelling at you, yeah, 1443 01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:32,960 Speaker 1: just in any context. 1444 01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:36,520 Speaker 2: Is not while my baby's asleep. Yeah, get out out, 1445 01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:37,680 Speaker 2: You're gone, bye bye. 1446 01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:39,120 Speaker 1: I don't think any of my friends have et her 1447 01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:40,280 Speaker 1: like yelled at me. 1448 01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, not like that, not in a way where it's 1449 01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:44,160 Speaker 2: like I can see it, where it's like, are you 1450 01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:46,200 Speaker 2: gonna say it right now? Now? Will you say it 1451 01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,720 Speaker 2: right that? I said it louder again, like that's the 1452 01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:51,520 Speaker 2: energy where it's like, oh, what are you doing? Fast 1453 01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:56,680 Speaker 2: forward a couple days later, I confronted her about the 1454 01:03:56,840 --> 01:04:00,760 Speaker 2: weird episode that we had, and she said, what I 1455 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:04,400 Speaker 2: don't appreciate And it comes off as if I can't 1456 01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,360 Speaker 2: say anything to her, as if she wants me to 1457 01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:08,760 Speaker 2: be afraid of her or something. And if this continues, 1458 01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:10,840 Speaker 2: then I'll just have to keep to myself because this 1459 01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:12,800 Speaker 2: ain't it. I think you can just cut her off. 1460 01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:16,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think probably. It's from what we know in 1461 01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:19,439 Speaker 1: the story, it seems like OPI does not have many 1462 01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:23,560 Speaker 1: close friendships for one reason or another. We don't really know, 1463 01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:26,440 Speaker 1: but it seems like because of that op He is 1464 01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:29,240 Speaker 1: trying to save this like one close friendship that she 1465 01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:33,120 Speaker 1: has and is like giving her Felicia more chances. 1466 01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:34,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. It might just be they've been friends for so 1467 01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:37,040 Speaker 2: long that it's securating. You're just kind of used to it, 1468 01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:39,040 Speaker 2: and now that they've become more toxic, you're. 1469 01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:41,280 Speaker 1: Like, oh, this is getting to a point where I 1470 01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:42,640 Speaker 1: can't just let it slide. 1471 01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:44,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's happened to me before, where it's like I 1472 01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:45,840 Speaker 2: had some jokes with some friends and then at some 1473 01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,080 Speaker 2: point I'm like, wait, is that still a joke because 1474 01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,720 Speaker 2: the way you said that didn't feel very funny to me. 1475 01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:54,240 Speaker 1: Yes, I had a friend like that who like literally 1476 01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:56,720 Speaker 1: like one time, like swore at me in a like 1477 01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:58,880 Speaker 1: a like a group chat that we were at, and 1478 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,439 Speaker 1: I was like, doesn't like a joll Yeah, that one. 1479 01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:04,000 Speaker 2: Felt like you were just blowing my spot in the 1480 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:06,280 Speaker 2: chat around in front of our friends. 1481 01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:07,280 Speaker 1: Just felt rude. 1482 01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:09,880 Speaker 2: But you know who can blow up our spot whenever 1483 01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:12,920 Speaker 2: they want? Yeah, y'all blow every last one of you 1484 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,960 Speaker 2: every time. We go live every weekday at three pm 1485 01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:19,360 Speaker 2: PST on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. All you gotta 1486 01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:21,400 Speaker 2: do is tap our profile and you can blow up 1487 01:05:21,440 --> 01:05:25,600 Speaker 2: our chat as much as you want. So before we 1488 01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,360 Speaker 2: finish the story, because there's a little bit left, I mean, 1489 01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:29,160 Speaker 2: we kind of if we've kind of touched on it, 1490 01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:31,200 Speaker 2: but I think the best move is to just kind 1491 01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:32,800 Speaker 2: of let this friendship be in the past now. 1492 01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:34,800 Speaker 1: I think so. I think if she's yelling at you 1493 01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:37,920 Speaker 1: and it just seems like a really exhausting friendship, that 1494 01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:41,760 Speaker 1: you could be focusing that energy on like other friends. Yeah, 1495 01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:43,360 Speaker 1: and like finding a friend that you are more in 1496 01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:46,320 Speaker 1: line with, because there will be one. And I also think, 1497 01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,120 Speaker 1: like Ope, people was talking about like how a lot 1498 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:50,640 Speaker 1: of her other friends she doesn't feel super morally in 1499 01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:54,960 Speaker 1: lined with, and finding a friend who you know, especially 1500 01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,040 Speaker 1: as an adult, finding a friend who you vibe with, 1501 01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:58,800 Speaker 1: is hard, but they are out there. 1502 01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:02,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, this this person and is just become a negative. 1503 01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:05,960 Speaker 2: If this was one time, that's one thing, but it's happened. 1504 01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:06,280 Speaker 1: Over and over. 1505 01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:09,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like their behavior is not changing so 1506 01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:11,320 Speaker 2: and it probably won't any time soon. So just you 1507 01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:13,320 Speaker 2: can leave that in the past and let's see if 1508 01:06:13,360 --> 01:06:15,360 Speaker 2: that's what happens at the end of the story. Hope. 1509 01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:20,040 Speaker 2: Felicia then states that she's not into me being feisty 1510 01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:22,640 Speaker 2: over things like that. Oh, I think she's trying to 1511 01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:27,720 Speaker 2: again being feisty about the comments. Yes, after she was screaming, 1512 01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:31,680 Speaker 2: streaming like she's like, why are you so feisty telling 1513 01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,880 Speaker 2: me I can't scream in your house while your baby's asleep. Anyway, 1514 01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:37,320 Speaker 2: I would say things that she feels some kind of 1515 01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:39,480 Speaker 2: way about, and if so, why not say that when 1516 01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:41,920 Speaker 2: it happens. She has too much on her plate and 1517 01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:45,200 Speaker 2: that is why she's keeping her distance. We make plans 1518 01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:47,360 Speaker 2: and my man is there. She usually comes over and 1519 01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,960 Speaker 2: he's never there. This was just a one time event 1520 01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:52,600 Speaker 2: and he left. Whenever we spend time, she's always on 1521 01:06:52,680 --> 01:06:54,560 Speaker 2: her phone with her boyfriend. So I don't get it. 1522 01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:57,120 Speaker 2: The friendship isn't working out and she's okay with that. Wow, 1523 01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:59,240 Speaker 2: the problem took care of itself. I told her, thanks 1524 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:01,360 Speaker 2: for letting me know, and then deleted her number. 1525 01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:03,960 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, you don't need to talk to her anymore. 1526 01:07:04,080 --> 01:07:06,360 Speaker 1: She's she's all Yeah, as you said, she took up 1527 01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:08,600 Speaker 1: the care of the problem. She doesn't want to talk 1528 01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:09,720 Speaker 1: to you, and you don't have to talk to her. 1529 01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:12,800 Speaker 2: Problem solved. We love when the problem solves itself. 1530 01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:13,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1531 01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:15,800 Speaker 2: I know for a fact I'm not perfect, but please, 1532 01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:18,240 Speaker 2: am I the ale? No? 1533 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:22,360 Speaker 1: No, I think I think you could look at how 1534 01:07:22,440 --> 01:07:26,560 Speaker 1: you approach friendships just in general, because especially just from 1535 01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:28,440 Speaker 1: the comment of like I don't have any close friends 1536 01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:30,680 Speaker 1: because I don't align with them, just like check in 1537 01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:33,360 Speaker 1: with yourself and seeing why that reason is. 1538 01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:35,120 Speaker 2: But I think in this case, no, you're not the 1539 01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:38,040 Speaker 2: ahole wonderfully put out of the two, I think we 1540 01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:39,360 Speaker 2: know who the feistier one is. 1541 01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:42,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, anyone who's screaming. It's definitely gonna be a little 1542 01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:45,200 Speaker 1: bit feistier than the person who's not screaming, but that 1543 01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:46,240 Speaker 1: is the end of that story.