WEBVTT - I'm Alone but I'm Not Lonely

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Meela. Happy Wednesday, Happy hump Day.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm fucking amazing. I love that. I'm great. Yeah, so

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<v Speaker 1>fucking happy. Honestly, I feel like I've come out from

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<v Speaker 1>beneath the cloud.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi.

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<v Speaker 1>It's me. Hi, how are you. It's me. I'm back.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I'm back. When you walked through the door,

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<v Speaker 2>you were very chipper. I was like, okay, girl.

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<v Speaker 1>Not chipper. I would like to say I'm generally chipper,

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<v Speaker 1>but okay, no, you are.

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<v Speaker 2>But it was to know sometimes you're like, hey, girl,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm not gonna lie.

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<v Speaker 1>For the last three months has been in life, it

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<v Speaker 1>was versus are making me sound like Daria.

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<v Speaker 2>It was you are very've been very real.

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<v Speaker 1>It's hey, I'm fine, everything's fine.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything was not fine. I was fucking going through it.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know now I'm doing a lot better. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>retrograde is over too. I know, like it's just all

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just all aligned at the same time. It was

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<v Speaker 1>all going bad at the same time. Quickly it was

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<v Speaker 1>going bad and then it's getting better at the same time,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm just like, like, for real, for real, for all,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel much much better.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you do you want to tell people why

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<v Speaker 2>you feel better? Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm just doing better.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just better overall.

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<v Speaker 1>I woke up and everything's great. I drank some milk.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you four?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm eating cereal. So I have been struggling. I haven't

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<v Speaker 1>had like I've been in between places and staying at

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<v Speaker 1>my mom's, staying here, staying there, And finally this week

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<v Speaker 1>I got an apartment. Yesterday, I moved my shit in

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<v Speaker 1>so fast. You've never seen a bitch move shit in

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<v Speaker 1>so fast. Okay, it's never happened. I did it in

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<v Speaker 1>two hours. Oh my god, you really can't kick me

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<v Speaker 1>out here. I went through great lengths to get here,

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<v Speaker 1>great lengths at one point and have a car and

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<v Speaker 1>a house at the same time. And I was just

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<v Speaker 1>like on a downward spiral. I was like, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna die. I didn't think I was gonna make it.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't see like I knew what the end goal was,

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<v Speaker 1>but I just was like, it wasn't happening how I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to happen. So finally I made planted roots somewhere.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even know if I realized it's really yeh.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still like remembering like, oh I live here, this

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<v Speaker 1>is nice.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't think because even like, wait, who are

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<v Speaker 2>we talking to? You said you got an apartment, and

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<v Speaker 2>and they were like are you excited? Like hello, You're

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<v Speaker 2>like I just I'm excited.

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<v Speaker 1>I just need to get in there, very excited. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>so excited. I just needed to get there. I needed

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<v Speaker 1>to get the keys. It took three days, close the door,

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<v Speaker 1>closed the door, And I'm like, did you do that?

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<v Speaker 2>Like what was that? Like? When everyone left, and.

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<v Speaker 1>Just just like literally a weight lifted off of my shoulders,

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<v Speaker 1>like literally I could not I could not think. I

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<v Speaker 1>could not think. I could not think. I literally could

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<v Speaker 1>only think about two things. And it was it was

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<v Speaker 1>just it's been clouding me and I emotionally, i'd have

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<v Speaker 1>an anxiety. I was feeling like this is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be forever. My anxiety was going to be a forever situation.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't have anxiety anymore. And like I was

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<v Speaker 1>catching triple digits and I kept just saying like I

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<v Speaker 1>need an apartment. I need to get a place. I

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<v Speaker 1>need get a place. And now I've been catching all

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<v Speaker 1>these triple digits and I'm like, finally, but I wish

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<v Speaker 1>you can change.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels good to just be like, oh that that's

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<v Speaker 1>done now, like okay, now what I mean, Like even

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<v Speaker 1>with this like whole breakup bullshit, like just clouded in that,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I just feel so much better overall, Like none

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<v Speaker 1>of that shit matters at fucking.

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<v Speaker 2>All, because you have your own space, space to feel

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<v Speaker 2>stable and love on yourself the way you want in private,

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<v Speaker 2>in your own shit period. Yeah, you don't have to

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<v Speaker 2>stay anywhere because you know what i mean, like if

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<v Speaker 2>you get into it with someone that you're staying with,

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<v Speaker 2>or you'd be like where am I going to go

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<v Speaker 2>right now? I'm gonna figure this out right now. But

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<v Speaker 2>now it's like no, bye, nigga, bye bitches, catch you later.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, And it's just the power cancer.

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<v Speaker 2>You need your own little crab hole.

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<v Speaker 1>I really do. I was really trying it this last year,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like literally trying it. This huge, huge struggle

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<v Speaker 1>for me, and I'm just so happy to like to

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<v Speaker 1>have let Luna have a room. I got two rooms,

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<v Speaker 1>not one. I'm just putting stuff in her room. And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm just so happy that I'm putting

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<v Speaker 1>stuff in her room. Ain't nothing in here yet, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's hers, and I'm putting stuff in, you know, and

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<v Speaker 1>like your stuff here, and I'm just so I took

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<v Speaker 1>for granted how important like just being rooted somewhere is.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, even if I want to like be a butterfly,

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<v Speaker 1>I still need roots somewhere. And it's just even being

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<v Speaker 1>like a creative and like trying to be inspired while

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<v Speaker 1>going through very personal shit that feels like it's a

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<v Speaker 1>train wreck. It's like, damn it, it's hard to like

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<v Speaker 1>dedicate that your energy is so caught up in what's

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<v Speaker 1>stressing you out and you can't Like I didn't feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I could breathe. Like even when I got a car,

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't like I wasn't satisfied, but I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just sitting here for a minute, you know what

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, just sitting here for a minute. But just

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<v Speaker 1>there's no better fucking feeling for real, I feel really good.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I am so proud of you. I'm so relieved

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<v Speaker 2>for you.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was probably stressing you out, stressing myself up.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, you you. I don't know how you do it,

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<v Speaker 2>but you'd be pushing through a girl you push through.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I could do handle things the

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<v Speaker 2>way you do, and I don't know if that's good

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<v Speaker 2>or bad, but but I'm proud of you. I'm really

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<v Speaker 2>excited for you and Luna to have your own ship

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<v Speaker 2>and yeah, just have your own ship, you know. And

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<v Speaker 2>I think I think I've realized too, like how important

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<v Speaker 2>space is because like I fast forwarding to my trip trip,

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<v Speaker 2>but I just really realized how much I really do

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<v Speaker 2>enjoy being alone.

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<v Speaker 1>I really the Patreon you were going in. Erica went

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<v Speaker 1>in on Patreon her trip. I was like, I can't

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<v Speaker 1>do anything. I'm HAPPI you're I'm not happy you're not

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<v Speaker 1>doing well, but I'm happy you're creating content. You put

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<v Speaker 1>that shit on Patreon. Girl, I was like, oh wow,

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<v Speaker 1>she's doing what over there?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I'm not even talking to you. You're you're on Patreon.

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<v Speaker 2>I was.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh wow, I had no idea Jucys stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, yeah, I just I had a good trip.

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<v Speaker 2>Most of the time there was just me and my man.

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<v Speaker 2>We're just not vibing. We were not getting along consistently

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<v Speaker 2>enough for me. And I also had some self realizations

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<v Speaker 2>that about myself, and I realize really how how I

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<v Speaker 2>can turn off so easily girl, And I feel it happened,

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<v Speaker 2>like in the middle of the conversation, I'll be like nope,

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<v Speaker 2>and then it's like and then I can't even help

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<v Speaker 2>it my smirk. I can't fucking am such a little bitch.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't help but smirk at you because I think

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<v Speaker 2>you're dumb. Not dumb, but like I don't really can't

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<v Speaker 2>understand your feelings. I don't feel heard too, and so

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<v Speaker 2>if I don't feel hurt, I'm not gonna hear you.

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<v Speaker 2>That's really what it comes down to. And it's really

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<v Speaker 2>hard to like work through that with someone when they

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<v Speaker 2>genuinely feel like they're listening to you and you genuinely

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<v Speaker 2>feel like they're not listening to you. Like it's like

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<v Speaker 2>it's like two different conversations are happening. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know. I feel bad because I went with friends,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, I didn't want to like impose on

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<v Speaker 2>their trip. You know, I want my friends to have

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<v Speaker 2>a good time too, everyone spending their money to do

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<v Speaker 2>the things that they want to do. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>removed myself from the situation. I literally left my group

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<v Speaker 2>and got my own hotel room and was like bye, bitches,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know what, Like something in me was like,

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<v Speaker 2>you can't do this. A big part of me was

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<v Speaker 2>like you can't do that.

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<v Speaker 1>That's crazy what I was proud of you, No, you can't.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I was like fuck that, Yeah I can't.

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<v Speaker 2>There was like a big ass of little person on

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<v Speaker 2>my shoulder was like that all that shit. And I

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<v Speaker 2>was going back and forth, back and forth in my

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<v Speaker 2>head and I don't know, I really was kind of

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<v Speaker 2>I'm I was proud of myself. Looky, like I know

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<v Speaker 2>my partner might listen to this and he's probably gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be really, I don't know, annoyed or mad or hurt,

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<v Speaker 2>but like I really was proud of myself that I

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<v Speaker 2>chose myself. And I was just like I have to

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<v Speaker 2>do what I have to do. I know what I

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<v Speaker 2>I know what I need in order to get to

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<v Speaker 2>a place where I can have a conversation with someone

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<v Speaker 2>right and some thought. And you know that might be selfish,

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<v Speaker 2>you know it was selfish, but I needed to be.

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<v Speaker 2>I needed this vacation so badly, like I needed to

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<v Speaker 2>get out of LA. I needed time away from from

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<v Speaker 2>my child I needed. And I already had guilt about

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<v Speaker 2>that too, a lot of guilt about that, like mom guilt,

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<v Speaker 2>fucking overload, and I just I was like, I'm getting

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<v Speaker 2>this fucking vacation I'm going to get I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>take my bake back. And so I got this little

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<v Speaker 2>hotel on the beach and it was like the best

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<v Speaker 2>thing I've ever done. I went there. I did Molly

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<v Speaker 2>by myself, which by the way, if you've never done that,

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<v Speaker 2>highly recommend amazing. And I just spent time with myself.

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<v Speaker 2>I rolled around my room. I fucking text my friends.

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<v Speaker 2>I loved them and shit, and.

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<v Speaker 1>I rolled around my room I did.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like rolled. My sheets were so white and

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<v Speaker 2>tight and cold, and it was like steamy, and it

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<v Speaker 2>was like felt it was drugs. It was drugs, it was,

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<v Speaker 2>but also it was great. So the little things you

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<v Speaker 2>take for granted that you realize on Mollie amazing. I

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<v Speaker 2>went to took myself. I went to dinner, and like

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<v Speaker 2>the hotel like were so sweet because they knew I

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<v Speaker 2>was sad because I rolled up in there like with

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<v Speaker 2>an attitude. I came in and the hotel was like

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<v Speaker 2>looked like it was under construction in the front, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, hell, no hotels tonight, no wonder the

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<v Speaker 2>shit was too affordable. And then I go in and

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<v Speaker 2>they're like are you okay? And I was like what's

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<v Speaker 2>going on in the front of the hotel? I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>is it going to be loud? And they're like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>it's fine, it's separate. Like how can we help you?

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<v Speaker 2>What's wrong? I was like, I'm just not me and

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<v Speaker 2>my boyfriend and not getting along. I just need I

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<v Speaker 2>just need a room.

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<v Speaker 1>I just need to be quiet.

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<v Speaker 2>Just put me in the quietest place. Please. They're like, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>they helped me and they put me there. How dramatic

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<v Speaker 2>it was, please, But yeah, I was. I was not

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<v Speaker 2>doing well. And then yeah, I went to dinner. They

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<v Speaker 2>like came out saying happy birthday to me. I was

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<v Speaker 2>literally the only person in the restaurant by myself, but

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<v Speaker 2>it was like I was ocean front, so I was chilling,

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<v Speaker 2>and yeah, it was just great. It was like I

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<v Speaker 2>needed that time by myself. That's what I reco amazing

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<v Speaker 2>that even on a vacation, I feel like from now on,

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<v Speaker 2>I need to, like, within a vacation, go have another

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<v Speaker 2>mini vacation even it's a day away.

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<v Speaker 1>From people, it's very important.

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<v Speaker 2>The whole trip was very like group oriented, orientated, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean, doing this together. Let's go to

0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:03.320
<v Speaker 2>lunch to let's go to dinner together, let's go to

0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:05.480
<v Speaker 2>this thing together, let's go to that. And I was like, okay,

0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:08.840
<v Speaker 2>I love all that, but all these energies are fucking

0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:11.400
<v Speaker 2>with me. Yeah, And so I just did what my

0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 2>heart told me, and I fucking did that shit. And

0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:17.079
<v Speaker 2>if you're listening right now and you feel if you're

0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:18.960
<v Speaker 2>in a situation and you just feel like fuck it,

0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:20.960
<v Speaker 2>just do it. I swear to God, just do it.

0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:21.760
<v Speaker 1>Just do it.

0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.440
<v Speaker 2>Because I normally would have talked myself out of that

0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:27.000
<v Speaker 2>and been like, that's crazy. I have to stay in this.

0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:30.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll figure it out, and I'll suffocate my way through,

0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:32.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, because that's what I would be doing, holding

0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:37.880
<v Speaker 2>my breath the whole time. But overall, Mexico City's fucking amazing,

0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:43.360
<v Speaker 2>beautiful city, so cheap, crazy cheap food, amazing people, amazing.

0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:47.160
<v Speaker 2>I just love going to places where I can speak Spanish,

0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.480
<v Speaker 2>and I just feel like it's a part of me

0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:51.959
<v Speaker 2>that like I need to I want to spend more

0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:55.079
<v Speaker 2>time in like even when I got back, I went

0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.320
<v Speaker 2>to the restaurant and I almost spoke Spanish to the

0:12:57.600 --> 0:12:59.760
<v Speaker 2>way server because I was like, I'm so used to it,

0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 2>and I kind of was like sad that I couldn't.

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.000
<v Speaker 1>I definitely want to move to a Spanish speaking country

0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:11.559
<v Speaker 1>so I can work on We all know, okay, moi mahlan.

0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I I would definitely highly also recommend go

0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:20.440
<v Speaker 2>to Mexico City do Molly by yourself, and she right,

0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:21.360
<v Speaker 2>follow your intuition.

0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:24.199
<v Speaker 1>Highly recommends going to a foreign coupan and doing Molly

0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.720
<v Speaker 1>by yourself and following your into good moms indoors.

0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:29.720
<v Speaker 2>No, I mean this is those things don't have to

0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:32.120
<v Speaker 2>happen in the same place, but just all those things

0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:33.520
<v Speaker 2>should happen at some point in your life.

0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:38.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, Okay, yeah.

0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:40.560
<v Speaker 2>I also wanted to get away because of the election,

0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:41.880
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, I don't really want to be

0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:46.000
<v Speaker 2>here during this time, and it was really nice. I'm

0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:50.040
<v Speaker 2>not really I don't watch TV anyway, but not even

0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:54.000
<v Speaker 2>having a sense of anyone, like nothing was around me

0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.280
<v Speaker 2>with it like that reminded me of it. I almost

0:13:56.280 --> 0:14:00.560
<v Speaker 2>forgot it was election. Yeah, yeah, mailed in my ballot

0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:01.840
<v Speaker 2>and was out.

0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:11.680
<v Speaker 1>I feel like as I get older and as I grow,

0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:15.760
<v Speaker 1>my intuition is like louder, like bitch.

0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:19.440
<v Speaker 2>That's that's exactly what it is. It was so loud

0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:23.560
<v Speaker 2>that I couldn't ignore it. Yeah, it was like yeah.

0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:35.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's exactly how she be. And you're like, I

0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:38.840
<v Speaker 1>didn't hear anything. Oh my god, girl, if you're trying

0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:42.400
<v Speaker 1>to ignore that, ship that is true, Oh my god.

0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:47.000
<v Speaker 1>And you know what I've been. I just yeah, I've

0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:49.960
<v Speaker 1>had a lot of intuition and a lot of epiphanies

0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:53.480
<v Speaker 1>and just a lot of just like you gotta be

0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:56.480
<v Speaker 1>thankful for that. You gotta listen and you gotta be

0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:59.640
<v Speaker 1>thankful because it's like leading you where you don't need

0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:01.880
<v Speaker 1>to waste your time. Go do what you need to

0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.920
<v Speaker 1>do for you. Go here, sit here, because it's just

0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:07.600
<v Speaker 1>like you block your blessings fucking not listening to the

0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.680
<v Speaker 1>because you don't want to listen. But you need to.

0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because it's easy to just do what you do,

0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:19.480
<v Speaker 2>what you've normally done. You know the result because you've

0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:23.160
<v Speaker 2>been there, and even though you know the result, it's

0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 2>familiar and it's like okay, Like for me, like if

0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:29.920
<v Speaker 2>I would have sayed like I. We probably would have, actually,

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Also I'm different too, Like I can't

0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.760
<v Speaker 2>ignore shit like I used to. I used to be

0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:38.160
<v Speaker 2>able to like move past certain things and just like okay,

0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, but like I knew that, like I was

0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:44.880
<v Speaker 2>just gonna probably ignore him the whole trip after that,

0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.400
<v Speaker 2>like and be there, and that would be weird, like me.

0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:51.960
<v Speaker 2>We went to dinner and like my friend who's married,

0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:54.120
<v Speaker 2>was with like worth our husband, Like we're together on

0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.720
<v Speaker 2>like a double date. Essentially, we're not talking at all,

0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:01.600
<v Speaker 2>so I'm only talking to her and her husband's chiming

0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:03.520
<v Speaker 2>in every now and then, and I'm definitely not talking

0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.040
<v Speaker 2>about it. So it's just like you here having a

0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:08.200
<v Speaker 2>conversation but not you. And I realized how I could.

0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:10.080
<v Speaker 2>I could do it too, But I was like, I

0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:10.760
<v Speaker 2>don't want to do this.

0:16:10.800 --> 0:16:11.520
<v Speaker 1>Who wants to do this?

0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:15.840
<v Speaker 2>This is fucking awkward for them too, you know. But

0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:20.080
<v Speaker 2>I did have a really big realization. It was crazy,

0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:23.920
<v Speaker 2>Like I was the next morning, I was walking up

0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 2>and down the beach and like I was looking out

0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.920
<v Speaker 2>into the water, and I've just been like thinking more

0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.280
<v Speaker 2>and more about you know, We've talked about it before,

0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:37.480
<v Speaker 2>like feeling like do I have I if Iri if

0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:41.040
<v Speaker 2>I left this earth right now, like would Iri be good?

0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.800
<v Speaker 2>You know, like could I have something to leave her?

0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.400
<v Speaker 2>And like that was a really scary thing for me

0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:50.720
<v Speaker 2>because no, the answer is no. And I was like

0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:54.880
<v Speaker 2>looking out into the ocean, and I just I'm so

0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:59.440
<v Speaker 2>connected to the ocean, like it's a hundred hundred times

0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 2>million percent confirmed, like I must be near it. That's

0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.600
<v Speaker 2>another thing that my intuition is, like, won't let me

0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:09.760
<v Speaker 2>ignore anymore too. But I was looking out and I

0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:15.320
<v Speaker 2>was thinking, like, damn, I'm in Mexico. I am a

0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Latino woman, I'm black. The odds have been stacked against

0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:23.040
<v Speaker 2>my people since the beginning of time. But here I

0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:27.040
<v Speaker 2>am yet here, I am on vacation, capable of getting

0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:29.080
<v Speaker 2>my own room because me and my man had a fight.

0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.600
<v Speaker 2>But I can still do this and I'm here and

0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:35.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm okay, and it's all because of them, and like

0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.280
<v Speaker 2>what that means for me, Like I have to, like

0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:42.080
<v Speaker 2>the just I have to say, first of all, how

0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.200
<v Speaker 2>grateful I am A Like that's how I felt overcome

0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 2>with gratefulness, like damn, like look at me here because

0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:54.080
<v Speaker 2>of that, and like damn, I got to perform and

0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.400
<v Speaker 2>what now, Like it just felt not I didn't feel overwhelmed.

0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.440
<v Speaker 2>I felt like activated, Like let's get this shit bitch

0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:05.480
<v Speaker 2>right right, Like fuck all the shit, fuck this argument, fuck.

0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:08.000
<v Speaker 1>All this shit right Like when you when you have

0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:10.119
<v Speaker 1>your eye on the goal, like when you can see

0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:12.320
<v Speaker 1>the light at the end of the tunnel, Like none

0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.760
<v Speaker 1>of the tunnel should fuck with you because there's this

0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:17.560
<v Speaker 1>light and you know it and you see it and

0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:18.200
<v Speaker 1>it's just like.

0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:21.560
<v Speaker 2>It also made me be able to come to a

0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:24.879
<v Speaker 2>place of like understanding and forgiveness with my partner because

0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:27.800
<v Speaker 2>I was like, this fight doesn't matter, None of this

0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:31.199
<v Speaker 2>shit matters. Actually like okay, we have some shit to

0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:34.920
<v Speaker 2>work on, right, but I'm still like nothing at the

0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:37.840
<v Speaker 2>end of the day, Like I know that I am.

0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:40.880
<v Speaker 2>I feel my growth. The fact that I even felt

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:43.879
<v Speaker 2>like did that left and did that the fact that

0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:45.639
<v Speaker 2>like all the things that I just feel like I

0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:50.440
<v Speaker 2>have to acknowledge and like give myself credit. And I

0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.800
<v Speaker 2>felt excited for myself, which sounds weird, but it's not.

0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.320
<v Speaker 2>And like I felt excited for us and like I

0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:01.199
<v Speaker 2>literally like Manifest did something on the beach, Like one

0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:04.159
<v Speaker 2>night we went to we were into loom and we

0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:06.119
<v Speaker 2>went to this like beach becomes a beach party. For

0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.800
<v Speaker 2>it was like the whitest most venice beach. Like it

0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:11.359
<v Speaker 2>was like out of a movie. Like I was like,

0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.680
<v Speaker 2>is this real? Like this is so now she's gonna

0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:16.560
<v Speaker 2>do spoken word and now the other bitches like calling

0:19:16.640 --> 0:19:20.720
<v Speaker 2>her sister. And it was just so that everyone was white.

0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:22.240
<v Speaker 2>And then there was this old man who was like

0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Jesus and I just see him with like these young

0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.080
<v Speaker 2>hot like younger girls, and he like dips his finger

0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:30.159
<v Speaker 2>into molly and he's taking the molly and then he

0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:34.119
<v Speaker 2>like closes his eyes and sets an intention and then

0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:38.440
<v Speaker 2>like here comes the Palo Santo like it was then

0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:41.080
<v Speaker 2>here's the shaman who's gonna bless us. Like oh my god,

0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:43.520
<v Speaker 2>that sounds and I actually wish you were there. I

0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:47.400
<v Speaker 2>was like, here would be fucking floating around the stitch. Okay,

0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:51.640
<v Speaker 2>but yeah, so we did that and then I was like, okay,

0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:53.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go to the beach. And because the moon

0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:56.000
<v Speaker 2>it was a full moon. It was Halloween right and

0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.399
<v Speaker 2>it was November first actually, so the first day of

0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:02.080
<v Speaker 2>the Mars. But it was like the moon was so

0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:05.040
<v Speaker 2>full and like the ocean was like lit up by

0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:06.399
<v Speaker 2>it and it had this like I'm gonna post a

0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:08.480
<v Speaker 2>picture on Patreon of this picture because it's so beautiful.

0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:11.439
<v Speaker 2>But it was like this path down the center of

0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:13.359
<v Speaker 2>the ocean and then the moon. And I just sat

0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:17.679
<v Speaker 2>there and like manifested and was thinking about Irie and

0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:22.240
<v Speaker 2>thinking about my relationship, thinking about us, thinking about just

0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:24.360
<v Speaker 2>all the things that I want. And I came back

0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:28.800
<v Speaker 2>and I had a text from someone really important about

0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:32.359
<v Speaker 2>something really important for us, and I was like what

0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:35.920
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I'm fucking my powers are getting stronger.

0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:38.200
<v Speaker 2>I feel them. They're getting stronger.

0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:42.560
<v Speaker 1>It's a girl, the powers are getting stronger. It's true.

0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:46.800
<v Speaker 1>It's true. It's funny that you say that because, like

0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:50.440
<v Speaker 1>while you're in Mexico and Halloween, Like, first of all,

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:52.760
<v Speaker 1>I broke up with a venture babe, but we've probably

0:20:52.800 --> 0:20:55.000
<v Speaker 1>have been seeing each other like the whole time with

0:20:55.200 --> 0:21:00.440
<v Speaker 1>minus like two weeks, and you know, I was really

0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:03.320
<v Speaker 1>adamant about person in this relationship because I fucked it up,

0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:05.960
<v Speaker 1>but I really felt like we had this really good thing.

0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:11.320
<v Speaker 1>So I was really putting over some really questionable I

0:21:11.320 --> 0:21:14.280
<v Speaker 1>was always some pretty questionable behavior and just letting shit

0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:16.280
<v Speaker 1>go letting shit go, letting shin go, and be like,

0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:18.800
<v Speaker 1>you know what, it's cool. I'm let it go because

0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:20.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, I fucked up, like he told me, seeing

0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:25.879
<v Speaker 1>other people. But then like I was like, you know,

0:21:26.000 --> 0:21:28.560
<v Speaker 1>having guilt. But then I'm just like, damn, you're doing

0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:31.000
<v Speaker 1>a little much here. You're doing a little much, sir,

0:21:31.200 --> 0:21:33.800
<v Speaker 1>Like all right, all right. But then I just like,

0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:36.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, when you start to see someone for who

0:21:36.720 --> 0:21:39.359
<v Speaker 1>they are, because the dynamic has changed, and there was

0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:42.320
<v Speaker 1>just like little things I was noticing, Like I'm so

0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:46.560
<v Speaker 1>used to having like direct disrespect and like direct meanness,

0:21:46.600 --> 0:21:48.560
<v Speaker 1>like niggas you like, try to talk to my friends,

0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:50.040
<v Speaker 1>call me bitch.

0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:50.200
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:53.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh okay, it's very direct, you know. But

0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:56.240
<v Speaker 1>I just started noticing like just little shit, you know,

0:21:56.400 --> 0:22:01.200
<v Speaker 1>like mentioning he was He told the girl he's talking

0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:04.600
<v Speaker 1>to to listen to our podcast. She saw me. She's

0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.040
<v Speaker 1>like we're nothing alike, Like, no shit, we're different people,

0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:09.800
<v Speaker 1>that's right. And I'm like, why are you telling this

0:22:09.920 --> 0:22:11.960
<v Speaker 1>new bish? She just meant to listen to my podcast.

0:22:12.080 --> 0:22:14.760
<v Speaker 1>It's so personal. Why does she get have an insight

0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:16.679
<v Speaker 1>on who the fuck I am? Who is she?

0:22:17.520 --> 0:22:17.600
<v Speaker 2>Do?

0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:20.720
<v Speaker 1>I do I get to get a diary fucking page.

0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:23.600
<v Speaker 2>I would just if a man told me that that

0:22:23.640 --> 0:22:25.840
<v Speaker 2>I was dating, I'd be like what the fuck? I

0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:28.639
<v Speaker 2>would be like you should you might as well just

0:22:28.680 --> 0:22:29.840
<v Speaker 2>go like what are you talking?

0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:32.600
<v Speaker 1>It was just so odd, So I'm chilling, you know.

0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:36.040
<v Speaker 1>Then there's like, you know, just mentioning what his friends

0:22:36.359 --> 0:22:39.199
<v Speaker 1>had to really say about me, like you know, like

0:22:39.280 --> 0:22:43.040
<v Speaker 1>they really you know, they were wondering if you know,

0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:45.800
<v Speaker 1>well they did say you are like this type of

0:22:45.840 --> 0:22:48.080
<v Speaker 1>person basically, or you like have a lot of sexual

0:22:48.200 --> 0:22:50.720
<v Speaker 1>energy that needs attention, and like what is the point

0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:52.919
<v Speaker 1>of you telling me that I thought they liked me?

0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:55.840
<v Speaker 1>Like I went on a whole trip with that bitch.

0:22:56.080 --> 0:22:57.879
<v Speaker 1>And not that I care take it personally, but I

0:22:57.920 --> 0:22:59.600
<v Speaker 1>was just like I had to really start asking myself

0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:02.160
<v Speaker 1>and asking what is your intention by telling me that

0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:05.840
<v Speaker 1>what is your intention of sharing these like your these

0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:08.280
<v Speaker 1>things about these other women that you're talking to that

0:23:08.400 --> 0:23:11.600
<v Speaker 1>like you know, it's really gonna it's gonna it's horrorful,

0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:15.159
<v Speaker 1>and I'm just like, I just this is what I

0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:19.159
<v Speaker 1>really dislike, Like I hate a nigga to downplay another

0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:22.760
<v Speaker 1>like females to each other. And then like come out

0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:24.960
<v Speaker 1>on top, you know, and I started to feel like

0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:28.359
<v Speaker 1>that was happening, like telling me personal shit about someone's finances,

0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:30.159
<v Speaker 1>you know, like he didn't feel like he didn't want

0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:31.840
<v Speaker 1>to date someone it because she didn't have was you know,

0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:33.639
<v Speaker 1>she wasn't in a good place financially. He didn't want

0:23:33.640 --> 0:23:38.200
<v Speaker 1>to have to pay for everything, and like, you know, yeah.

0:23:38.080 --> 0:23:39.679
<v Speaker 2>No, that's just so. But I'm like, I feel like

0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:44.639
<v Speaker 2>that's just like elementary, yeah yeah, yeah, like yeah, it

0:23:44.720 --> 0:23:47.879
<v Speaker 2>shows you how deeply like immature that he is in

0:23:48.760 --> 0:23:49.160
<v Speaker 2>that way.

0:23:49.400 --> 0:23:54.200
<v Speaker 1>And and then it just so anyway, we're hanging out,

0:23:54.240 --> 0:23:58.280
<v Speaker 1>and in this moment, like about HALLOWEENI ish I had

0:23:58.320 --> 0:24:00.800
<v Speaker 1>like just written a post just I was talking about

0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:03.920
<v Speaker 1>like holding on to other people and I wasn't even

0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:06.120
<v Speaker 1>talking about this situation at all, and I posted it. It

0:24:06.119 --> 0:24:08.720
<v Speaker 1>was real deep, It was real deep in like in

0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:11.760
<v Speaker 1>my feelings about releasing people and letting them go. And

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:13.320
<v Speaker 1>I just happened to like look over on his phone

0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:15.520
<v Speaker 1>and I see that the girl keeps calling. Then I say,

0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:19.280
<v Speaker 1>she writes, oh, you must be cupcaking. And I was

0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:21.600
<v Speaker 1>like what because he kept saying like, it's not like that,

0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:23.840
<v Speaker 1>even though I had really been like, you guys, I

0:24:23.960 --> 0:24:27.040
<v Speaker 1>was really being stupid. I was really allowing some crazy

0:24:27.040 --> 0:24:28.960
<v Speaker 1>like I've never been so I've never I had to

0:24:29.000 --> 0:24:30.679
<v Speaker 1>like someone should have slapped me, like bitch, do you

0:24:30.680 --> 0:24:33.560
<v Speaker 1>know who you are? And not even like it was

0:24:33.640 --> 0:24:35.320
<v Speaker 1>just like I was. I just feel like I've been

0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:38.480
<v Speaker 1>sleeping on myself, you know, like just not noticing things

0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:43.159
<v Speaker 1>because it was just so indirect and like I just

0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:45.400
<v Speaker 1>happened to look over and she's like, you must be cupcaking.

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:47.520
<v Speaker 1>But he told me I'm not into her. We're we're

0:24:47.560 --> 0:24:50.280
<v Speaker 1>not talking anymore, like I'm not really like I'm impressed.

0:24:50.320 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 1>I told her what it is. I told her and

0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:53.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, well that doesn't seem like a text from

0:24:53.880 --> 0:24:58.439
<v Speaker 1>someone that thinks. Then, since you guys are not, you know, chilling,

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:03.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, do you know what cupcaking means? He's like, no,

0:25:03.320 --> 0:25:05.040
<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I wasn't sure what that meant. I was like,

0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:08.520
<v Speaker 1>I know, you don't. It means what you're doing. So

0:25:08.640 --> 0:25:12.160
<v Speaker 1>then girl got to be like he turned the phone over.

0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:16.199
<v Speaker 1>The girl calls and he because she keeps calling and

0:25:16.359 --> 0:25:18.639
<v Speaker 1>it turns over, it must have answered by mistake. She

0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:19.880
<v Speaker 1>hears our conversation.

0:25:20.119 --> 0:25:21.480
<v Speaker 2>What is the conversation you were having.

0:25:21.600 --> 0:25:23.320
<v Speaker 1>I think it was like some sec shit. I don't

0:25:23.320 --> 0:25:24.919
<v Speaker 1>even know what we're talking about. What we were talking with,

0:25:24.960 --> 0:25:28.720
<v Speaker 1>some real open sexual sex shit. The phone turns back

0:25:28.760 --> 0:25:31.679
<v Speaker 1>over and she's like, oh, you're with your ex. I

0:25:31.720 --> 0:25:34.160
<v Speaker 1>can tell by her it's her. It sounds like your ex.

0:25:34.200 --> 0:25:36.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, that's what the fuck you get. We're telling

0:25:36.640 --> 0:25:40.080
<v Speaker 1>this this woman to listen to my motherfucking podcast, who

0:25:40.119 --> 0:25:43.000
<v Speaker 1>didn't have any reason. And I'm like, and that's what

0:25:43.040 --> 0:25:44.840
<v Speaker 1>you get, ha ha. And I'm like, and you're a

0:25:44.840 --> 0:25:47.040
<v Speaker 1>liar because you just sat up here and made it

0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:48.840
<v Speaker 1>seem like and I was like, and I know, bitches

0:25:48.840 --> 0:25:52.359
<v Speaker 1>aren't crazy. Bitches don't be acting a certain way unless

0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:54.159
<v Speaker 1>you're treating a bitch like a girlfriend. And I'm like,

0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:56.600
<v Speaker 1>we just broke up. We've been fucking we've been seeing

0:25:56.600 --> 0:26:00.200
<v Speaker 1>each other, and like the period where we had stopped talking,

0:26:00.840 --> 0:26:03.879
<v Speaker 1>he reached out to me, like why did you block me?

0:26:03.920 --> 0:26:07.040
<v Speaker 1>Like nigga, because this is over, but like pulling me

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:07.480
<v Speaker 1>back in.

0:26:08.320 --> 0:26:11.600
<v Speaker 2>Just the attention, girl, Clearly he needs the attention.

0:26:11.720 --> 0:26:13.399
<v Speaker 1>That's what it was. It is, And you know, it

0:26:13.440 --> 0:26:16.240
<v Speaker 1>just started to see me, like started me seeing him

0:26:16.280 --> 0:26:19.399
<v Speaker 1>for who he he like who he is right now.

0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:22.080
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna be a nice guy and still want unhealthy attention.

0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:24.959
<v Speaker 1>And I get it, everybody wants to unhealth attention, but

0:26:25.000 --> 0:26:28.520
<v Speaker 1>like to what cause? At what expense? So it's unhealthy.

0:26:28.680 --> 0:26:30.399
<v Speaker 1>It was just it was just and I was like,

0:26:30.520 --> 0:26:32.919
<v Speaker 1>I said, I can't imagine what you're saying about me

0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:36.640
<v Speaker 1>to this girl. I said, if this girl knows all

0:26:36.760 --> 0:26:39.399
<v Speaker 1>like I can, if I know this girl's business, I

0:26:39.400 --> 0:26:41.600
<v Speaker 1>can only imagine what you're saying about me. And I

0:26:41.640 --> 0:26:42.800
<v Speaker 1>was like, and that's that's not.

0:26:42.800 --> 0:26:44.920
<v Speaker 2>Cool, that's true, that's really true.

0:26:45.040 --> 0:26:46.080
<v Speaker 1>I was like, it's just like I was just like,

0:26:46.119 --> 0:26:48.119
<v Speaker 1>I just don't want guys who do that, because if

0:26:48.160 --> 0:26:49.600
<v Speaker 1>you like her, just say you like her and you're

0:26:49.640 --> 0:26:52.760
<v Speaker 1>pursuing that, just be real about it. You went through

0:26:52.760 --> 0:26:54.560
<v Speaker 1>my shit. I was like, yeah, I fucked this person.

0:26:54.600 --> 0:26:57.840
<v Speaker 1>I fuck that person. What do you want to do

0:26:57.840 --> 0:27:00.800
<v Speaker 1>about it? It wasn't like, you know what I mean, pretending,

0:27:01.359 --> 0:27:05.000
<v Speaker 1>And it just started just festered, and I started to

0:27:05.040 --> 0:27:11.200
<v Speaker 1>like piss me off. And then girl, how about moments later,

0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:14.640
<v Speaker 1>I just like touched the phone and it stops at

0:27:14.640 --> 0:27:17.840
<v Speaker 1>a plane ticket to Mexico. This is like a movie.

0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:20.119
<v Speaker 1>I swear to god, I just touched the phone and

0:27:20.160 --> 0:27:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I was like, are you guys going to Mexico? And

0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:26.399
<v Speaker 1>he's like, I was gonna tell you, Oh no, you

0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:30.919
<v Speaker 1>are a fucking professional hinge dater and you're also a

0:27:30.920 --> 0:27:35.359
<v Speaker 1>fucking liar. He said, I didn't buy her ticket. Her

0:27:35.359 --> 0:27:38.199
<v Speaker 1>mom bought her ticket. I said, and that's weird. If

0:27:38.200 --> 0:27:40.439
<v Speaker 1>you're going with a bitch, why did you buy her ticket?

0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:43.200
<v Speaker 1>How are you gonna let the bitch mom buy her ticket?

0:27:43.440 --> 0:27:46.520
<v Speaker 2>And then even he's still trying to hold onto some something.

0:27:47.160 --> 0:27:49.120
<v Speaker 1>But that's what I'm like. I'm just like, why are

0:27:49.160 --> 0:27:51.720
<v Speaker 1>you doing this with me? I don't really give a fuck,

0:27:51.760 --> 0:27:53.920
<v Speaker 1>but like I don't really need this, you know what

0:27:53.960 --> 0:27:57.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, Like I just and then lying, he said

0:27:57.040 --> 0:27:59.880
<v Speaker 1>she invited herself. I said, nia this conversation, don't look

0:27:59.880 --> 0:28:04.080
<v Speaker 1>like bitch that invited herself. She invited herself.

0:28:04.720 --> 0:28:06.840
<v Speaker 2>Myself, not to your house.

0:28:07.040 --> 0:28:10.879
<v Speaker 1>I was just like, and I asked him, are you

0:28:10.920 --> 0:28:13.840
<v Speaker 1>going with someone to the ship? Because I keep in mind,

0:28:14.280 --> 0:28:17.680
<v Speaker 1>we've been broken up like seven weeks and seen each

0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:19.920
<v Speaker 1>other the whole time. But I was just like, and

0:28:20.000 --> 0:28:22.240
<v Speaker 1>the night before, I meane that earlier, that day Erica

0:28:22.280 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 1>had just called me and we had got some really

0:28:24.040 --> 0:28:27.040
<v Speaker 1>like exciting news, and for a moment, I was just like,

0:28:27.320 --> 0:28:32.200
<v Speaker 1>huh huh, you're tripping, and so am I I am

0:28:32.359 --> 0:28:36.920
<v Speaker 1>really tripping hard, hard heart hard, okay, And in Twitch

0:28:37.080 --> 0:28:48.080
<v Speaker 1>was like and was like dumb bitch, and I was like,

0:28:49.320 --> 0:28:52.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm out. Yeah, I'm like I and and like when

0:28:52.880 --> 0:28:57.120
<v Speaker 1>you say when I can turn some ship off, bitch,

0:28:57.600 --> 0:29:04.080
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of scary. I'm just like huh huh, Like

0:29:05.400 --> 0:29:09.360
<v Speaker 1>I know, I just can't feel anything anymore. I just

0:29:09.400 --> 0:29:11.920
<v Speaker 1>don't care, and I just feel like it's just I

0:29:12.040 --> 0:29:17.160
<v Speaker 1>just I love to see people when with like real lenses,

0:29:17.280 --> 0:29:18.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, when you can like step back out of

0:29:19.000 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 1>it and like reassess the situation. And granted, like I

0:29:23.200 --> 0:29:26.240
<v Speaker 1>realize I am the cause of like the root of

0:29:26.280 --> 0:29:27.400
<v Speaker 1>this but in some.

0:29:27.320 --> 0:29:29.600
<v Speaker 2>Way, but maybe like you had to do that one

0:29:29.680 --> 0:29:32.520
<v Speaker 2>last time and do that relationship so a you could

0:29:32.560 --> 0:29:35.840
<v Speaker 2>see the type of people that you you still need to.

0:29:36.000 --> 0:29:38.800
<v Speaker 2>There's there's wolves in Sheep's clothing, you know what I mean.

0:29:38.840 --> 0:29:41.200
<v Speaker 2>And I don't mean like he's a wolf. I just

0:29:41.240 --> 0:29:43.760
<v Speaker 2>mean like like what you normally attract.

0:29:43.840 --> 0:29:45.520
<v Speaker 1>And I love him, you know, I think he's a

0:29:45.520 --> 0:29:46.360
<v Speaker 1>good person.

0:29:46.080 --> 0:29:47.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm just saying that. What I really want

0:29:47.800 --> 0:29:50.480
<v Speaker 2>to say is that like what you normally attract like

0:29:51.320 --> 0:29:53.760
<v Speaker 2>can be disguised in certain ways. I'm not saying that

0:29:53.800 --> 0:29:55.600
<v Speaker 2>he is your baby daddy or those things, but there's

0:29:55.680 --> 0:30:00.200
<v Speaker 2>qualities about him that are manipulative and that's something that

0:30:00.240 --> 0:30:03.200
<v Speaker 2>you are used to doing and loving, you know, and so,

0:30:03.440 --> 0:30:06.360
<v Speaker 2>but he's also treated you not great you so like

0:30:06.440 --> 0:30:07.640
<v Speaker 2>that can be really fucking.

0:30:07.520 --> 0:30:11.720
<v Speaker 1>Confusing, right right, So, like am I supposed to deal

0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:11.959
<v Speaker 1>with this?

0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:14.520
<v Speaker 2>You were supposed to cheat? I think you're to cheat.

0:30:15.000 --> 0:30:17.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm here to say it was so glad you cheated,

0:30:19.920 --> 0:30:22.560
<v Speaker 2>So fucking glad you cheated, Jamila, thank.

0:30:22.360 --> 0:30:27.160
<v Speaker 1>You revealing the truth. That's that's the best friend share.

0:30:27.480 --> 0:30:29.440
<v Speaker 1>It's perfect. It's you know, it's for the best that

0:30:29.480 --> 0:30:29.880
<v Speaker 1>you cheated.

0:30:30.040 --> 0:30:34.080
<v Speaker 2>This. I mean, I support your cheating. It's circle.

0:30:36.360 --> 0:30:37.560
<v Speaker 1>I feel like it did comfortull Cir.

0:30:37.760 --> 0:30:39.520
<v Speaker 2>I really feel that way. I'm not like, I'm not

0:30:39.560 --> 0:30:41.480
<v Speaker 2>just saying that. I think it's come full circle and it.

0:30:41.600 --> 0:30:43.640
<v Speaker 1>Just really like it did. Let me know, like there

0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:45.680
<v Speaker 1>are got really first of all, can come in all

0:30:45.680 --> 0:30:48.000
<v Speaker 1>different shape sizes, and like you have to have you

0:30:48.040 --> 0:30:49.880
<v Speaker 1>have to know what what you're not going to deal

0:30:49.920 --> 0:30:53.120
<v Speaker 1>with immediately, whether you're fucked up, whether you're like whatever

0:30:53.160 --> 0:30:55.800
<v Speaker 1>it is. It's like, either what's the point of keeping

0:30:55.800 --> 0:30:58.400
<v Speaker 1>relationships that are just like not good for you, you

0:30:58.440 --> 0:31:00.000
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean? And you just have to like cheat,

0:31:00.040 --> 0:31:02.920
<v Speaker 1>chose yourself. Choose yourself, even when it feels like you

0:31:02.960 --> 0:31:05.520
<v Speaker 1>should be like fighting for something. There's a difference between

0:31:05.560 --> 0:31:07.720
<v Speaker 1>like fighting for something and choosing yourself because I feel

0:31:07.760 --> 0:31:11.200
<v Speaker 1>like it will just happen naturally, you won't have to

0:31:11.280 --> 0:31:14.040
<v Speaker 1>like necessarily fight for it. Like I feel like if

0:31:14.040 --> 0:31:16.400
<v Speaker 1>he was my nigga, like we could have really worked

0:31:16.400 --> 0:31:20.720
<v Speaker 1>past the shit, because that's how I felt, and because

0:31:20.760 --> 0:31:22.680
<v Speaker 1>we didn't, because it dragged on, and then I kept

0:31:22.680 --> 0:31:25.760
<v Speaker 1>telling him, I'm like, be careful how you do this,

0:31:26.360 --> 0:31:28.560
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, Because once I turn off,

0:31:29.280 --> 0:31:31.800
<v Speaker 1>I won't turn back on. I can't. I can't physically,

0:31:31.880 --> 0:31:34.840
<v Speaker 1>I can't do it. And I'm just like, oh, well,

0:31:34.920 --> 0:31:36.520
<v Speaker 1>look at God. And I told him that as soon

0:31:36.560 --> 0:31:39.480
<v Speaker 1>as it happened, I said, that's motherfucking God. I said,

0:31:39.720 --> 0:31:41.880
<v Speaker 1>that's God, because that's crazy. I mean, but I'm not

0:31:42.000 --> 0:31:44.840
<v Speaker 1>looking through your shit. I was like, you're alive. Yeah.

0:31:44.920 --> 0:31:47.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, girl, look, I'm gonna give you one

0:31:47.440 --> 0:31:48.200
<v Speaker 2>more sign.

0:31:48.560 --> 0:31:50.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how many need because at this point

0:31:50.160 --> 0:31:52.120
<v Speaker 1>it had been like four hundred. It was like so many,

0:31:52.360 --> 0:31:57.360
<v Speaker 1>so much shit. I was just like, how am I stupid? Am? I?

0:31:57.360 --> 0:32:00.360
<v Speaker 1>I thought I was smart? But these actions are saying

0:32:00.360 --> 0:32:02.880
<v Speaker 1>something else. Maybe I'll tell them Patreon, like just how

0:32:02.880 --> 0:32:05.760
<v Speaker 1>stupid I was being. I'm too embarrassed to say it here.

0:32:06.280 --> 0:32:08.440
<v Speaker 1>It's too bad. I told Erica later and I was like,

0:32:08.480 --> 0:32:10.280
<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to tell you, but You're.

0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:13.920
<v Speaker 2>Like, this happened like forty five days ago, but listen, listen.

0:32:13.680 --> 0:32:19.760
<v Speaker 1>To what I did. Yeah, but I am happy to

0:32:19.800 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 1>say this is the adventure Bays retired after this episode.

0:32:25.400 --> 0:32:28.080
<v Speaker 1>There will be no mention of the Adventure Bay. We're

0:32:28.120 --> 0:32:29.040
<v Speaker 1>going to steal the.

0:32:29.000 --> 0:32:34.480
<v Speaker 2>Files, get the get the glue gun.

0:32:37.880 --> 0:32:40.440
<v Speaker 1>Not the glue gun. That's the Mom's ship I ever

0:32:40.480 --> 0:32:43.280
<v Speaker 1>heard get get the ziplocks and the glue. We're a

0:32:43.320 --> 0:32:44.440
<v Speaker 1>freezing bagging this ship.

0:32:44.560 --> 0:32:50.719
<v Speaker 2>Get the stick g low elmersh my god, that's not secure.

0:32:50.720 --> 0:32:51.840
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to cement that ship.

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:59.360
<v Speaker 1>But you know, all that to say is I was

0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:01.360
<v Speaker 1>just going through and I just realized a lot of

0:33:01.360 --> 0:33:04.640
<v Speaker 1>it like I was just torturing myself and adding shit

0:33:04.760 --> 0:33:07.800
<v Speaker 1>that I didn't need to add, and I'm just such

0:33:07.880 --> 0:33:13.640
<v Speaker 1>in a clear space, so much happier, you know what

0:33:13.720 --> 0:33:15.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean? Like that hurt, then I just kind I

0:33:15.960 --> 0:33:19.160
<v Speaker 1>almost feel happier for him too, Like I think you

0:33:19.240 --> 0:33:24.000
<v Speaker 1>are better off pursuing those situations. Like I like mistakenly

0:33:24.000 --> 0:33:25.680
<v Speaker 1>scrolled past the picture of him and a girl and

0:33:25.680 --> 0:33:27.920
<v Speaker 1>I was like, huh, I was high, keep in minds high,

0:33:28.000 --> 0:33:31.560
<v Speaker 1>Like they're kind of like happy, they're kind of like

0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:34.200
<v Speaker 1>really happy. I was like, good thing, I'm high. I

0:33:34.240 --> 0:33:36.480
<v Speaker 1>didn't say shit, I just gave the phone back, But

0:33:36.600 --> 0:33:39.720
<v Speaker 1>I was just like, sometimes god, I'd be like, you

0:33:39.720 --> 0:33:41.640
<v Speaker 1>don't need to waste any time going down the road

0:33:41.720 --> 0:33:44.000
<v Speaker 1>that's not for you, and you gotta respect it.

0:33:44.600 --> 0:33:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes you have to do the letting go. I think

0:33:48.160 --> 0:33:50.280
<v Speaker 2>the other person won't. They're not capable of it, and

0:33:50.280 --> 0:33:52.800
<v Speaker 2>that's when it's hardest. That's the hardest shit ever, you know,

0:33:53.120 --> 0:33:56.120
<v Speaker 2>But like for them, for them sometimes too, because it's

0:33:56.120 --> 0:33:58.560
<v Speaker 2>for their own their best interest.

0:33:58.320 --> 0:34:00.880
<v Speaker 1>It's usually me too. Yeah.

0:34:01.440 --> 0:34:08.040
<v Speaker 2>So well, here's two new houses, new Beginnings and sealing.

0:34:07.720 --> 0:34:09.840
<v Speaker 1>The files ceiling files.

0:34:09.440 --> 0:34:15.560
<v Speaker 2>And also highly recommend doing molly alone foreign country. One

0:34:15.600 --> 0:34:17.319
<v Speaker 2>of the other things I said, I don't remember.

0:34:18.480 --> 0:34:21.480
<v Speaker 1>Rolling around in some cold sheets.

0:34:22.120 --> 0:34:24.040
<v Speaker 2>No, health is really important to take care of yourself.

0:34:24.040 --> 0:34:26.799
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I'm not endorsing drugs. Do what you do,

0:34:26.840 --> 0:34:29.520
<v Speaker 2>what you must. Whatever makes you feel like rolling around

0:34:29.520 --> 0:34:31.200
<v Speaker 2>on cold sheets, do that.

0:34:31.400 --> 0:34:38.440
<v Speaker 1>Do that for me. It's molly For me specifically, I

0:34:38.520 --> 0:34:44.440
<v Speaker 1>enjoy rolling around cold sheets on molly. Maybe mushrooms mostly.

0:34:44.520 --> 0:34:46.799
<v Speaker 2>Haven't been wanting to do mushrooms lately, like I need

0:34:46.800 --> 0:34:51.680
<v Speaker 2>to take a break from from that. That's that planted

0:34:52.200 --> 0:34:54.040
<v Speaker 2>for a moment I had. It did what it did.

0:34:54.080 --> 0:34:55.640
<v Speaker 2>It did what it needed to do for me, which

0:34:55.680 --> 0:34:58.440
<v Speaker 2>is like cure my anxiety, because I don't really haven't.

0:34:58.480 --> 0:35:00.319
<v Speaker 2>I really haven't felt a lot of anxiety. Have I

0:35:00.400 --> 0:35:06.520
<v Speaker 2>like felt like irritated, annoyed, anxious in some way, but

0:35:06.680 --> 0:35:16.840
<v Speaker 2>like not like before, not like March COVID, July COVID.

0:35:17.400 --> 0:35:21.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh, no, March COVID was like April COVID was like

0:35:21.200 --> 0:35:22.160
<v Speaker 1>a mushroom month.

0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:26.080
<v Speaker 2>There was no way I was making it without them.

0:35:26.280 --> 0:35:28.360
<v Speaker 1>It really was. I have some mushrooms in my purse.

0:35:29.640 --> 0:35:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh you know what? We had this like last minute

0:35:33.200 --> 0:35:36.160
<v Speaker 2>little mini meetup situation the other day.

0:35:36.320 --> 0:35:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, we oh yeah, we did.

0:35:38.480 --> 0:35:43.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it was with this afrobeats table party.

0:35:45.760 --> 0:35:47.360
<v Speaker 1>It was called a brunch.

0:35:48.440 --> 0:35:50.880
<v Speaker 2>It started We got there at nine o'clock. Okay, it

0:35:50.920 --> 0:35:54.279
<v Speaker 2>was started at nine pm brunch, which I'm gonna have

0:35:54.280 --> 0:35:57.120
<v Speaker 2>to talk to Joe or Joel or whatever his name is,

0:35:57.239 --> 0:35:59.319
<v Speaker 2>Joe Jim, who's the guy?

0:36:00.560 --> 0:36:01.080
<v Speaker 1>It tal him?

0:36:01.120 --> 0:36:03.680
<v Speaker 2>He needs to rename his party because it's not a brunch.

0:36:03.640 --> 0:36:06.920
<v Speaker 1>Not Joel. Joe said that Joe's party.

0:36:07.000 --> 0:36:08.640
<v Speaker 2>Who the fuck is the guy's name is party? It

0:36:08.680 --> 0:36:10.640
<v Speaker 2>is done, don't okay?

0:36:10.640 --> 0:36:15.520
<v Speaker 1>And it was a three letter word Joe John. Those

0:36:15.680 --> 0:36:21.040
<v Speaker 1>party where we got named John Joe. You met at

0:36:21.080 --> 0:36:22.920
<v Speaker 1>Joe that night too, did I?

0:36:23.040 --> 0:36:25.799
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's maybe that's why we got to hang out

0:36:25.800 --> 0:36:29.359
<v Speaker 2>with Blumplow and Mama shout out to Sanitria.

0:36:30.000 --> 0:36:32.680
<v Speaker 1>Denise came up with her man. Yeah, one of our

0:36:32.719 --> 0:36:36.120
<v Speaker 1>listeners came up. I was saying, they drove down. They

0:36:36.120 --> 0:36:39.640
<v Speaker 1>didn't come up, they drove down. They came to kick it. Yeah,

0:36:40.320 --> 0:36:42.759
<v Speaker 1>they smoked with us, We took shots.

0:36:44.520 --> 0:36:46.920
<v Speaker 2>She gave me a huge bottle of champagne. I don't know,

0:36:47.040 --> 0:36:49.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna have to save this for like a real brunch,

0:36:49.239 --> 0:36:51.480
<v Speaker 2>a real serious brunch. Now, I need to have a

0:36:51.480 --> 0:36:52.800
<v Speaker 2>brunch just for this champagne.

0:36:52.800 --> 0:36:56.359
<v Speaker 1>You should have. You should have a pot luck brunch.

0:36:56.400 --> 0:37:12.920
<v Speaker 2>Paula brunch. Okay, this weekend, I'm gonna town. Oh that's right, Jamila, Jimmila, Jimmy.

0:37:14.120 --> 0:37:17.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So maybe next week maybe, yeah, okay, yeah.

0:37:17.880 --> 0:37:19.719
<v Speaker 2>I was not feeling that great this week, but you

0:37:19.760 --> 0:37:23.279
<v Speaker 2>know what, she so I restarted feeling a little like

0:37:23.400 --> 0:37:25.160
<v Speaker 2>under the weather. And I got really nervous because I

0:37:25.200 --> 0:37:26.880
<v Speaker 2>was like, anytime you know your kid gets sick, you

0:37:27.000 --> 0:37:28.520
<v Speaker 2>automatically think like COVID.

0:37:29.840 --> 0:37:31.880
<v Speaker 1>Even you, I'm like, my fa hurts.

0:37:31.960 --> 0:37:34.239
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, but I did get COVID, So I got we,

0:37:34.400 --> 0:37:36.360
<v Speaker 2>I got COVID tested. We all got COVID tested, and

0:37:36.440 --> 0:37:39.440
<v Speaker 2>we came back from Mexico and so I got she

0:37:39.480 --> 0:37:41.680
<v Speaker 2>wasn't feeling well anyway, So I got her COVID tested

0:37:41.719 --> 0:37:46.719
<v Speaker 2>and I'm happy to confirm our status is negative. Oh

0:37:46.800 --> 0:37:48.160
<v Speaker 2>my god. I had to send it to my therapist

0:37:48.160 --> 0:37:49.239
<v Speaker 2>because my therapist.

0:37:49.200 --> 0:37:51.960
<v Speaker 1>Won't see you until you Yeah, she was gonna do it.

0:37:52.040 --> 0:37:53.279
<v Speaker 2>She was gonna be virtual. And it's like, I don't

0:37:53.280 --> 0:37:55.799
<v Speaker 2>really feel comfortable. You've been traveling. I was like, here's

0:37:55.840 --> 0:38:00.800
<v Speaker 2>my COVID test. Okay, witch relax, but yeah, she was negative.

0:38:00.800 --> 0:38:04.360
<v Speaker 2>But I've been using these drops by a Joyspring.

0:38:04.400 --> 0:38:06.440
<v Speaker 1>If you heard Joyspring Vitamins, I love joy Spring.

0:38:06.760 --> 0:38:08.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah they're really good. I don't know if you guys

0:38:08.880 --> 0:38:11.600
<v Speaker 2>have ever heard of joy Spring, but they have so

0:38:11.840 --> 0:38:15.800
<v Speaker 2>many like different vitamins on their website. They're all natural,

0:38:15.840 --> 0:38:17.920
<v Speaker 2>they're all organic, and they fucking work. So I was

0:38:18.040 --> 0:38:22.439
<v Speaker 2>using vitamin C plus zinc and elderberry blend because I'm

0:38:22.440 --> 0:38:26.480
<v Speaker 2>a witch doctor and so I like to blend my medicines,

0:38:27.120 --> 0:38:29.719
<v Speaker 2>even medicines. This is just like an herbal formula.

0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:33.160
<v Speaker 1>I like to like boost like Luna's immune system. That way,

0:38:33.160 --> 0:38:34.920
<v Speaker 1>if I feel here getting a little sniffle, a little

0:38:35.160 --> 0:38:37.239
<v Speaker 1>just a little cough that I start upping them. I

0:38:37.280 --> 0:38:38.960
<v Speaker 1>do it every day, but then I start upping them

0:38:38.960 --> 0:38:40.880
<v Speaker 1>a little bit if she's feeling sick. And for the

0:38:40.920 --> 0:38:43.719
<v Speaker 1>most part, she's pretty healthy. She doesn't really get sick.

0:38:43.840 --> 0:38:46.879
<v Speaker 2>So I know, no, this this vitamin C right here though,

0:38:46.960 --> 0:38:50.000
<v Speaker 2>this is this right here is the best. So if

0:38:50.040 --> 0:38:51.840
<v Speaker 2>you guys want to check out Joyspring, make sure you

0:38:51.840 --> 0:38:55.520
<v Speaker 2>go to Joyspring Vitamins dot com. And use Good Moms

0:38:55.520 --> 0:38:56.480
<v Speaker 2>for twenty percent.

0:38:56.239 --> 0:38:58.480
<v Speaker 1>Off the whole product line, and I have like a

0:38:58.520 --> 0:39:00.480
<v Speaker 1>bunch of really good stuff, so check it.

0:39:00.400 --> 0:39:03.680
<v Speaker 2>Out for adults too. So yeah, I know she's feeling

0:39:03.719 --> 0:39:07.600
<v Speaker 2>better now, so but maybe next weekend because I was

0:39:07.640 --> 0:39:10.880
<v Speaker 2>feeling such mom guilt when I was gone, like she

0:39:10.880 --> 0:39:13.839
<v Speaker 2>she missed me so much. She was literally counting down

0:39:13.840 --> 0:39:16.440
<v Speaker 2>the days, like every time I called her, four more days,

0:39:16.600 --> 0:39:18.320
<v Speaker 2>three more days, two more days.

0:39:18.360 --> 0:39:19.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

0:39:19.280 --> 0:39:21.560
<v Speaker 2>And then towards the end, because you know, I had

0:39:21.560 --> 0:39:24.400
<v Speaker 2>to go take my own mini vacation, I was like,

0:39:25.200 --> 0:39:26.640
<v Speaker 2>I did want to leave. I was like, maybe I'll

0:39:26.640 --> 0:39:28.960
<v Speaker 2>just extend my trip one more day, just one more day,

0:39:29.040 --> 0:39:32.600
<v Speaker 2>and then she called me. I was like, Okay, never mind.

0:39:32.640 --> 0:39:37.759
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, it's not happening. But yeah, I was

0:39:37.800 --> 0:39:41.279
<v Speaker 2>feeling I don't know, as she gets older, like I

0:39:41.280 --> 0:39:43.720
<v Speaker 2>feel like my guilt is worse because she's more aware.

0:39:44.280 --> 0:39:46.239
<v Speaker 1>I know I feel the same way too, But I've

0:39:46.239 --> 0:39:48.200
<v Speaker 1>also been feeling like I would need to go on

0:39:48.239 --> 0:39:51.160
<v Speaker 1>a trip alone and feeling guilty about having the thoughts

0:39:51.160 --> 0:39:53.400
<v Speaker 1>about going on a trip alone. But like and also

0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:58.919
<v Speaker 1>I'll be getting into trouble alone me unsupervised, who knows

0:39:59.000 --> 0:40:01.880
<v Speaker 1>I'll end up in another entry three new best friends,

0:40:02.000 --> 0:40:05.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, at an aquarium. Who knows the weirdest shit

0:40:05.560 --> 0:40:08.200
<v Speaker 1>happened to me. But I've been really feeling like I

0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:10.879
<v Speaker 1>want to go out of town alone. But I also

0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:12.120
<v Speaker 1>feel like I should take her somewhere.

0:40:12.200 --> 0:40:14.759
<v Speaker 2>But I mean, my next trip is definitely gonna have

0:40:14.800 --> 0:40:17.120
<v Speaker 2>to include her. She's not having that ship. She's not

0:40:17.160 --> 0:40:20.480
<v Speaker 2>gonna take that from me, I think because her dad

0:40:20.520 --> 0:40:22.160
<v Speaker 2>has gone too, and he's been gone for about a

0:40:22.200 --> 0:40:29.080
<v Speaker 2>month now. So I just I just felt like bad,

0:40:29.560 --> 0:40:32.439
<v Speaker 2>But Mama got I have a life too.

0:40:33.239 --> 0:40:35.280
<v Speaker 1>Mama do have a gut, and that's why.

0:40:36.640 --> 0:40:38.799
<v Speaker 2>Mama got to take a vacation on a vacation if

0:40:38.800 --> 0:40:41.000
<v Speaker 2>she ain't enjoying her vacation. Yeah, yeah, dude, you gotta

0:40:41.040 --> 0:40:42.560
<v Speaker 2>do girl, follow that intuition.

0:40:42.719 --> 0:40:44.480
<v Speaker 1>I was proud. I was like, I wanna be like

0:40:44.600 --> 0:40:49.319
<v Speaker 1>Erica when I grow up. Yeah, And honestly, I was like, yeah,

0:40:49.320 --> 0:40:50.880
<v Speaker 1>I gotta get the fuck out of here. When I

0:40:51.160 --> 0:40:53.279
<v Speaker 1>you had left the vacation, and plus I was under

0:40:53.360 --> 0:40:55.600
<v Speaker 1>taking some bullshit, I was like, what am I doing

0:40:55.640 --> 0:40:58.279
<v Speaker 1>over here? I'm the ship. I gotta get my ship up.

0:40:58.280 --> 0:40:58.799
<v Speaker 1>I gotta go.

0:40:59.239 --> 0:40:59.799
<v Speaker 2>Oh, my god.

0:41:01.880 --> 0:41:07.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well we gotta go buy plants.

0:41:07.520 --> 0:41:09.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're gonna go buy some plants and be very

0:41:10.640 --> 0:41:14.480
<v Speaker 2>domesticated today. What's your what's your style going to be

0:41:14.480 --> 0:41:16.360
<v Speaker 2>of your apartment? Are you gonna like do you have

0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:17.640
<v Speaker 2>like Pinterest board?

0:41:18.120 --> 0:41:20.719
<v Speaker 1>I need to look at some ore Pinterest board. I'm

0:41:20.760 --> 0:41:26.040
<v Speaker 1>just going for like bare minimum plant boho vibes, just

0:41:26.200 --> 0:41:30.840
<v Speaker 1>minimal boho vibes, some splashes of color. I'm thinking about

0:41:31.040 --> 0:41:32.960
<v Speaker 1>maybe some like mustard yellows.

0:41:33.000 --> 0:41:33.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:41:35.640 --> 0:41:40.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm getting a pole for sure. I got this really

0:41:40.400 --> 0:41:42.680
<v Speaker 1>dope shower curtain.

0:41:43.080 --> 0:41:44.239
<v Speaker 2>I saw that with.

0:41:44.239 --> 0:41:50.400
<v Speaker 1>Two indigenous lesbians, tribal lesbians, is making us beautiful. I

0:41:50.440 --> 0:41:54.000
<v Speaker 1>love it. I've gotten it from art addict online on Instagram,

0:41:54.120 --> 0:41:56.120
<v Speaker 1>and I've been waiting to put it out for three months.

0:41:56.239 --> 0:41:57.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh you've had it for a while.

0:41:57.080 --> 0:41:59.759
<v Speaker 1>I've had it for a while. Okay, get I need

0:41:59.760 --> 0:42:02.360
<v Speaker 1>to get my pole. That's next, because I already got

0:42:02.400 --> 0:42:05.520
<v Speaker 1>the shoes. Oh okay, and then I'm going to start

0:42:05.520 --> 0:42:08.160
<v Speaker 1>my career as a professional poll dancer. Coming to you

0:42:08.200 --> 0:42:09.719
<v Speaker 1>soon at an Instagram near you.

0:42:10.960 --> 0:42:13.120
<v Speaker 2>You want miss right away? I can do a collab.

0:42:13.160 --> 0:42:15.839
<v Speaker 1>We should do a collab. Yes, I love this right away,

0:42:15.880 --> 0:42:18.320
<v Speaker 1>and I just looked back at our dms. I bestly

0:42:18.440 --> 0:42:21.960
<v Speaker 1>literally DM turn like twenty sixteen, like, hey girl, do

0:42:22.040 --> 0:42:26.760
<v Speaker 1>you want to meet me a priman? What total creep?

0:42:27.320 --> 0:42:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Hey do you want to meet me and go take

0:42:29.080 --> 0:42:32.399
<v Speaker 1>the girls on a hike? This is like hance their desperation. Yeah,

0:42:32.440 --> 0:42:33.160
<v Speaker 1>because this is a mom.

0:42:33.239 --> 0:42:36.200
<v Speaker 2>That's perfect example. I'm desperate. We were for mom and friends.

0:42:36.280 --> 0:42:36.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:42:37.080 --> 0:42:37.720
<v Speaker 2>Did she respond?

0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:41.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't think she's a damn damn Ashley. She's like,

0:42:41.120 --> 0:42:42.840
<v Speaker 1>why should we might just say something else? I was like,

0:42:42.880 --> 0:42:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I was ashamed. I am. I'm excited

0:42:49.040 --> 0:42:51.560
<v Speaker 1>to just be in my own space doing spins. I'm

0:42:51.600 --> 0:42:55.080
<v Speaker 1>a strip a pole in the full mirror, minimal shit

0:42:55.120 --> 0:42:57.319
<v Speaker 1>in it. I gotta go throw some shit out. But yeah,

0:42:57.400 --> 0:42:58.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm excited.

0:42:58.440 --> 0:43:01.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's gonna be great. Set the vibe, make a

0:43:01.160 --> 0:43:08.360
<v Speaker 2>little altar or something or I don't know. Lots of plants, oxygen, oxygen, right, there's.

0:43:08.160 --> 0:43:11.319
<v Speaker 1>A lot of little sunlight, so amazing.

0:43:11.360 --> 0:43:13.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, if you need help painting or doing any of

0:43:13.600 --> 0:43:15.839
<v Speaker 2>those things, you know, I love it. Okay, I don't

0:43:15.880 --> 0:43:20.800
<v Speaker 2>do it, and uh you guys, we are going to

0:43:20.880 --> 0:43:21.400
<v Speaker 2>go now.

0:43:21.360 --> 0:43:23.359
<v Speaker 1>Because I've told all of our business.

0:43:23.040 --> 0:43:25.239
<v Speaker 2>Told our business I'm high and in fact, I'm going

0:43:25.280 --> 0:43:26.160
<v Speaker 2>to hit this one more time.

0:43:26.360 --> 0:43:28.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know that this is over. I can completely

0:43:28.640 --> 0:43:33.560
<v Speaker 1>get into stupid and buy plants. If you guys haven't already,

0:43:33.719 --> 0:43:37.000
<v Speaker 1>please support us. Subscribe to Patreon. There's a lot of

0:43:37.000 --> 0:43:39.080
<v Speaker 1>cool shit on there, a lot of sexy shit, a

0:43:39.080 --> 0:43:41.319
<v Speaker 1>lot of very deep intimate shits that we don't say

0:43:41.320 --> 0:43:42.840
<v Speaker 1>on here, all of our real business.

0:43:44.080 --> 0:43:48.560
<v Speaker 2>That's patreon dot com, backslash, Good Mom's Bad Choices. I

0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:51.040
<v Speaker 2>highly recommend you get the Past your Bedtime tier because

0:43:51.040 --> 0:43:53.719
<v Speaker 2>that really gets you access to all of our stuff.

0:43:54.960 --> 0:43:57.399
<v Speaker 2>If you want to watch these episodes, you can watch

0:43:57.400 --> 0:44:01.600
<v Speaker 2>them on Patreon as well. Make sure if you haven't already,

0:44:02.239 --> 0:44:05.719
<v Speaker 2>all sixty thousand of you that listened to us, that

0:44:05.880 --> 0:44:09.800
<v Speaker 2>haven't left a review, why don't we have sixty thousand reviews?

0:44:09.960 --> 0:44:12.480
<v Speaker 2>Just we just need one, five minutes, just one review.

0:44:12.600 --> 0:44:16.480
<v Speaker 2>Just go on Apple Podcasts. Please, please, please, They do matter.

0:44:16.520 --> 0:44:18.760
<v Speaker 2>I know you think that doesn't matter, but they do matter.

0:44:19.480 --> 0:44:20.480
<v Speaker 1>They matter to us.

0:44:20.560 --> 0:44:26.000
<v Speaker 2>The matter, And go and leave a review and give

0:44:26.080 --> 0:44:29.360
<v Speaker 2>us that five star rating and go check out our website.

0:44:29.400 --> 0:44:34.680
<v Speaker 2>We have cool merch and guys, we're planning some cool events,

0:44:34.760 --> 0:44:44.759
<v Speaker 2>so look out for those on our Instagram is. Then

0:44:44.800 --> 0:44:45.560
<v Speaker 2>let's say ask