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Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. In this episode, our Love Stories series

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Speaker 1: continues with a couple number four, Jana Kramer and Alan Russell.

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Speaker 1: They started out long distance. By long distance, we're talking

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Speaker 1: Nashville to London. Now many frequent flyer miles later, they

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Speaker 1: are thriving and welcome to this Cuffing Season edition.

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Speaker 2: Up Amy and.

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Speaker 1: TJ and Robes. This one is kind of personal to us.

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Speaker 1: We've gotten to know half of this couple really well,

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Speaker 1: I guess the past year or so, that's right.

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Speaker 3: Jenna was somebody who we met when we all came

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Speaker 3: together to do another podcast that we do called I

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Speaker 3: Do Part Two. And Jenna, of course is known to

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Speaker 3: so many as the actress and country music singer that

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Speaker 3: she is, and of course she has her own podcast,

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Speaker 3: but she came to us and was so vulnerable, just

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Speaker 3: laughing and saying, you know, yeah, so cause we were saying, yep,

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Speaker 3: we're divorced twice, and she's like, I can beat that,

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Speaker 3: I can top that. I'm on husband number four. And

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Speaker 3: she's young, she's gorgeous. That was a shocking thing to

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Speaker 3: even hear from someone so young. But she said, look,

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Speaker 3: look here's the thing, and she talked about all the

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Speaker 3: lessons she learned along the way.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, she's she really is. I described her once

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Speaker 1: and it made headlines. I said she was nuts in

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Speaker 1: one of the podcasts and they put that in the headline.

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Speaker 2: But she is our kind of crazy.

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Speaker 1: She owns everything she does and has gone through. She

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Speaker 1: appreciates everything she's gone through. And this is why I

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Speaker 1: think really the two of us were so drawn to her.

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Speaker 1: She appreciates that every single hardship led her to something exactly,

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Speaker 1: and that's something we certainly can relate to. So, yes,

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Speaker 1: fourth marriage, he's on his second. But they did they

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Speaker 1: didn't just have to deal with distance ropes. Everybody knows

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Speaker 1: the immigration.

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Speaker 3: Process is nine ninety day Fiance. We are avid fans,

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Speaker 3: and we talked about it a lot with them. They

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Speaker 3: don't watch, so it was kind of embarrassing for us

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Speaker 3: as we kept referring back to ninety day Fiance trying

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Speaker 3: to understand their situation, and they were really trying to

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Speaker 3: distance themselves from there because.

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Speaker 1: They didn't have that. We just think anybody now who

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Speaker 1: has dating somebody who lives somewhere else Night Day Fiance.

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Speaker 3: Right, right, you know what that's like, right? No, they

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Speaker 3: did not relate at all, which was funny. But I

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Speaker 3: had not met her husband Alan, you had, You and

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Speaker 3: Sabine actually went out to La when I couldn't go

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Speaker 3: because I was I had family issues back home, and

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Speaker 3: you had met him and you described him as a

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Speaker 3: kind of a quiet, reserved Scottish man.

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Speaker 1: Because we took a ride. It was me and Sabine,

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Speaker 1: Jenna and Alan in the back of this truck going

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Speaker 1: to an event, and we end up in traffic for.

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Speaker 4: An hour plus shocking at LA.

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Speaker 1: Trying to get to an event. So we all just

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Speaker 1: into ended up shooting the shit and getting to know

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Speaker 1: each other a lot better in there. But yeah, he's

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Speaker 1: you know, she's how would you just throw? Because I

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Speaker 1: don't want to make it a heap.

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Speaker 3: She's well, she even said, I'm an extrovert. He's an introvert.

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Speaker 3: And but when we keep saying this, when we as

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Speaker 3: a couple talk to another couple, all of the barriers

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Speaker 3: melt And it was wonderful to get to know Alan,

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Speaker 3: to see him coming out of his shell and I

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Speaker 3: could hear him talk all day.

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Speaker 5: I love that broke yes.

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Speaker 3: So it was it was so cool because here's this big, strong,

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Speaker 3: good looking guy, pro soccer player, and you saw his vulnerability,

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Speaker 3: and you saw him talking about Jana and talking about

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Speaker 3: how they got through issues and admitting fault in fights.

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Speaker 3: It was really cool to see people let their guards

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Speaker 3: down who might not otherwise do it and really let

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Speaker 3: us all feel like we can relate.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: There's no discomfort in his vulnerability. That is called manhood

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Speaker 1: in my opinion, right, even in being that kind of

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and open and admitting certain things, or even admitting that, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like physical touch, are I like the whole Even

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Speaker 1: saying those things now it helps it. It comes from

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Speaker 1: this stud of a dun Okay, okay, never man, forget

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Speaker 1: everything I just said.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 1: But we do love these two so we were glad

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Speaker 1: we were able to add them to our series here,

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Speaker 1: a series which we are absolutely having a good good

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Speaker 1: time doing and learning a lot doing it as well.

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Speaker 1: But no matter where you are and your relationship, your

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Speaker 1: dating life, there's something you can get from these couples.

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Speaker 1: And we have a diverse group and we've been asking

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Speaker 1: them roll the exact same questions.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we asked them questions like did your relationship have

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Speaker 3: the support of family and friends? How often do you fight,

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Speaker 3: how do you handle finances or household chores? And it

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Speaker 3: was really cool because we've seen some common themes in

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Speaker 3: these successful, happy couples and so yes, we are taking notes.

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Speaker 1: All right, We're going to drop a new episode every

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Speaker 1: single day leading up to Valentine's Day. I believe Jenna

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Speaker 1: and Allen this makes a couple number four for us

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Speaker 1: in the series. So, without further ado, take a listen

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Speaker 1: to our conversation with Jenna.

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Speaker 3: And Alan, and joining us now is Jana Kramer and

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Speaker 3: Alan Russell.

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Speaker 5: Oh, you guys were so cute.

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Speaker 3: Just a few moments ago before I introduced you, you

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Speaker 3: were just sitting there on the couch together and you

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Speaker 3: were holding hands.

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Speaker 5: I loved it. Did you know you were doing that?

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Speaker 4: Well, if he's sweet, he always will kind of give

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Speaker 4: me like a little touch before we start a podcast.

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Speaker 4: But we will have those moments we're in bed, or

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Speaker 4: we'll make fun of ourselves because we're just laying in

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Speaker 4: bed holding hands and we're like, this is but we

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Speaker 4: don't we catch ourselves doing it and we're like, we

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Speaker 4: are ridiculous. That is sweet, and I think everywhere else

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Speaker 4: at the same time, No, I.

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Speaker 5: Don't think it's gross. At all. I think it's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: A look, we have to tell you we caught ourselves

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Speaker 1: today in the subway coming to this studio, standing in

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Speaker 1: the subway, and for some it is not a busy

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Speaker 1: it was impact. We're standing up against the door and

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Speaker 1: we were holding hands and didn't even realize we were

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Speaker 1: doing it. So don't think it's gross. We do same.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I truly, I really love it because it's

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Speaker 4: you know, and I can think back and go, all right,

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Speaker 4: this is, you know, everything I wanted. I always I

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Speaker 4: love physical touch. So the fact that I've got someone

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Speaker 4: that equally likes physical touches is a beautiful thing.

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Speaker 3: And he's a Scotsman too. Are they known for their

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Speaker 3: love of physical touch?

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Speaker 1: Are you gonna have to do the accident every time?

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Speaker 5: Every time I could have gone in even deeper. Glad

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Speaker 5: I didn't.

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Speaker 4: You're like my dad and oh we had such fun

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Speaker 4: time in scotl every time I don't have to speak Scottish.

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Speaker 4: Every time you talk to Alan, it's fine, like you,

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Speaker 4: it's a terrible impersonation.

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Speaker 2: I've got to an American friend that answers the phone

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Speaker 2: in Scottish.

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Speaker 4: No, what does he say?

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Speaker 2: All right? You're speaking American. You're not Scottish anyway. A

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Speaker 2: Scottish people naturally affectionate.

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Speaker 4: Probably not, I would not think.

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Speaker 2: I think we naturally lack empathy and any sort of

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Speaker 2: romance whatsoever.

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Speaker 5: See, it's funny. I would have thought that I appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: I'm German like ninety according to twenty three and meter,

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Speaker 3: So the Germans and the Scots have a lot in common.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we tend to do we think without.

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Speaker 4: Thinking about it.

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Speaker 2: Appreciation for the environment of hearing the room. Yep, no,

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Speaker 2: I think I've I'm fairly romantic and butchi feely and

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Speaker 2: affect it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're you're the.

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Speaker 2: Well like I lack empathy at times.

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Speaker 4: I think a lot of men do.

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Speaker 1: Different episodes.

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Speaker 4: We can get into that in just a bit.

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Speaker 3: We're going to start with the question we asked all

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Speaker 3: of our couples when we began. Each of you, we'd

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Speaker 3: love for you to give us three words to describe

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Speaker 3: your relationship right now.

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Speaker 5: Janna, we'll start with you.

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Speaker 4: Three words to describe the relationship right now? Growing gosh, okay,

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Speaker 4: so that's a good one. So growing, patient and beautiful, okay.

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Speaker 2: Man, powerful, loving, and strong?

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Speaker 1: What was colorful? The first one powerful, powerful, powerful thoughts

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Speaker 1: said colorful. I was gonna do a follow up. All right,

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Speaker 1: next questionnaire for you all. Was there immediate chemistry? Alan?

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Speaker 1: Will start with you. Was there immediate chemistry when you

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Speaker 1: two first met?

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Speaker 2: Immediate?

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Speaker 4: Immediate?

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Speaker 1: That's the fast that's the quickest and most definitive answer

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Speaker 1: any couple has given us when we asked that.

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Speaker 5: Oh, really, you remember the moment I'm guessing.

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Speaker 4: Oh, he was like in his long trench coat and

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Speaker 4: his back was to me, and then he turned around.

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Speaker 4: It was like, oh wow, and he looked at me

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Speaker 4: and smiled and was like, oh my god. If I

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Speaker 4: if I wasn't crazy, like if I am crazy, but

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Speaker 4: if I didn't care in that moment, I would have

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Speaker 4: just like kissed him right away. But I didn't. He

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Speaker 4: kissed me right away.

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Speaker 2: You refrained for about six seconds, and then no, you totally.

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Speaker 4: Kiss me first.

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Speaker 5: What was that moment like for you, Alan, I'm curious.

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Speaker 2: The moment that it first matter.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, we'd spoken so much that week on FaceTime that

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Speaker 2: we there was a sense that we already knew a

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Speaker 2: lot about each other. But obviously FaceTime is FaceTime, and

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Speaker 2: it's completely different. The biggest thing that always got me

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Speaker 2: about Jana was a smile. So as soon as I

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Speaker 2: turned a round in the hotel and I seen her

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Speaker 2: and she smiled, I was like, this is it? I knew?

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Speaker 5: And then oh you knew? So who said I love

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Speaker 5: you first?

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Speaker 4: Alan?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you shit yourself to say it and didn't

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Speaker 2: want to say it. So I took the pressure off

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Speaker 2: of you and I said it.

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Speaker 1: You agree with all that? It looks like?

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Speaker 4: Is that kind of Yeah?

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Speaker 5: How long before you said I love you? I'm curious?

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Speaker 2: It was in London?

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Speaker 4: Actually it was in London on the second trip, No,

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Speaker 4: first trip, the first trip, so like a month, then

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Speaker 4: like a month?

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Speaker 5: A month?

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Speaker 2: Oh, London, London.

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Speaker 1: We'll swap London stories later. That's another episode as well. Okay, next,

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Speaker 1: Ques brings out the lever. Next question here. How long

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Speaker 1: did you date before you got engaged? And how long

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Speaker 1: were you engaged before you got married?

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Speaker 2: We dated, it's for.

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Speaker 4: We're starting November. Yeah, six six.

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Speaker 2: Seven months before we got engaged.

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Speaker 4: Now ask us when we got pregnant, because that was

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Speaker 4: four months.

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Speaker 3: Did the pregnancy hurry up the timeline of the engagement

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Speaker 3: or was it just independent of one another?

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Speaker 2: It was the timeline of the engagement was nothing to do.

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Speaker 2: There was no pressure to do it because Jana was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: We had already spoke about it before we even knew

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Speaker 2: Jannah was pregnant. So people assume and jump to conclusions,

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Speaker 2: but it absolutely wasn't And part of it. I was

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Speaker 2: waiting on the ring being custom made as well, but

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Speaker 2: that took a bit longer, so it was. Yeah, the

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Speaker 2: timeline between engagement and marriage was thirteen months.

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Speaker 3: Thirteen months, but I actually you just sparked another question

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Speaker 3: for me. So you meet and then you said you

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Speaker 3: had to have her ring custom made, so you knew

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Speaker 3: there was going to be time. How soon after meeting

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Speaker 3: Jenna in person did you go to the jeweler and

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Speaker 3: start designing this range?

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Speaker 4: Tell them the message you sent me on the plane

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Speaker 4: ride back from Nashville when we first met London.

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Speaker 2: I had already touch base with my jewel Wow.

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Speaker 5: Wow, when you know you know, that's you know what?

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Speaker 1: That's my issue to Alan. The ring is taken forever

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Speaker 1: to get made. That's that's my delay. These things take forever.

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Speaker 1: I just want to get it right, So I'm with

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Speaker 1: you there. Next question, dear guys, what is your age difference.

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Speaker 1: Has it had any impact one way or another on

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Speaker 1: your relationship?

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Speaker 4: We are three years is that right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And for me zero who's older me?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why there's zero issue.

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Speaker 1: What is that?

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Speaker 4: No, I'm kidding, but I will say like when I

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Speaker 4: was three years older and the person was younger than me,

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Speaker 4: there was there was belts like there was issues there.

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Speaker 3: I mean no, but man, I feel like it doesn't

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Speaker 3: really matter that much from society and also just even

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Speaker 3: in the relationship. I feel like that's that's like not

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Speaker 3: even controversial.

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Speaker 5: Mm. Yeah, all right, did you Okay?

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Speaker 3: Do we have to go over our age different every

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Speaker 3: single episode?

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Speaker 5: All right?

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Speaker 6: All right?

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Speaker 5: Why did you want to be married?

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Speaker 3: And if you had continued on as a couple stayed

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Speaker 3: together but you weren't married, do you think your relationship

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Speaker 3: would be different?

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Speaker 2: Okay, first question, why did we want to be married?

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Speaker 2: I think what kind of I think we both have

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Speaker 2: old souls and we have a lot of position and

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Speaker 2: our outlook on life. So for me and also Joanna,

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Speaker 2: I'm speaking for Joanna here, but for me me, Mary

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Speaker 2: just cements your love and trust and affection for each

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Speaker 2: other in a way that I don't know it just

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Speaker 2: just in cases it and almost protect it a little

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Speaker 2: bit more so. Again, very early on, we we wanted to,

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Speaker 2: we wanted to get to get married and and from

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Speaker 2: a love and passion for each other. Very early on, didn't.

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Speaker 4: We I'll say to that question. For me, obviously, I've

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Speaker 4: gotten it wrong one too many times. But I still

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Speaker 4: wholeheartedly believe in and love the idea and concept of

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Speaker 4: marriage and ah, and I wanted to feel what it

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Speaker 4: was like to you know, at least from what we

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Speaker 4: were in our relationship, Like I just I believe, I

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Speaker 4: don't know. I just believe in marriage, and I wanted to.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to feel that and the right way, not

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Speaker 4: with's the wrong.

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Speaker 1: Well, next next question here, now, did your relationship always

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Speaker 1: have the support of your friends and family?

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Speaker 4: My friends, they they obviously know I had that. I've

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Speaker 4: moved really fast in certain situations. But my very best

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Speaker 4: friend Catherine said, there's just something about this that is

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Speaker 4: different with you, and you're not chasing the wrong things.

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Speaker 4: You're chasing the right thing this time, and you know

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Speaker 4: you know what you're doing. And so I really believe

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Speaker 4: I didn't have their support the last times, but I

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Speaker 4: did this time. And I think because they knew that

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Speaker 4: it was different, I was different, and then our relationship

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Speaker 4: was different.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think my friends and family have been very

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Speaker 2: supportive are still as supportive even though we were, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was looking like I was going to move away

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Speaker 2: from London and go to and live in a different country.

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Speaker 2: At no point did my family's enthusiasm for Fajana diminish

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Speaker 2: in any way, despite the fact that they knew that

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Speaker 2: I was going to eventually move over here, move and

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Speaker 2: move away from them. So now we've always had full

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Speaker 2: support from friends and family.

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Speaker 5: That's awesome and that's so key.

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Speaker 3: You had a long distance relationship, so how did that

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Speaker 3: play into.

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Speaker 5: The marriage?

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Speaker 3: And where are you on that with everything that's going

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Speaker 3: on politically, I'm just curious. Our only frame of reference

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Speaker 3: is ninety day fiance, But how do you make that work?

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Speaker 3: And where where are you in that process?

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Speaker 2: We only we only had to make it work for

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Speaker 2: a short period of time because I was I was

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Speaker 2: coaching in England and at that point, so November to March,

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Speaker 2: so almost four months, oh, four four and a half

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Speaker 2: months probably, Yeah, we had to make the long distance

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Speaker 2: the thing work, which was okay, I mean, it was tough.

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Speaker 2: It was tough at times, and we always managed to

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Speaker 2: limit it to three weeks. We would go no more

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Speaker 2: than three weeks without seeing each other. Those times Jana

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Speaker 2: would fly over just for a few days. It was

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Speaker 2: a time I flew back just for one day, one night.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 2: So we always kind of really emphasized how important that was.

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Speaker 2: And then when I moved over here, I pretty much

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Speaker 2: secured a secured the visa through my professional coaching pretty

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Speaker 2: much straight away, so we don't it wasn't like we

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Speaker 2: have had to deal with the ninety day fiance.

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Speaker 4: Think, and that's never I think the hardest part that

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Speaker 4: has been the green card though, because you have to

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Speaker 4: there's so many rules, but you have to be in

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Speaker 4: the country for ninety days. You can't leave the country.

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Speaker 4: So he's in that process right now of of with

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Speaker 4: the green card, and so that is and then you know,

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Speaker 4: just all the things they put on him that you

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Speaker 4: can't do this, and you can't work, and you can't

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Speaker 4: and so there are all these loopholes and now luckily

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Speaker 4: he's been able to get you know, all the.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll we'll get we're getting close to the completion

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Speaker 2: of it. But it's very limiting, but we've never had

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Speaker 2: to deal with the Okay, you're here for ninety days

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Speaker 2: and then have to leave.

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Speaker 4: Well, we had to do that one where we were

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Speaker 4: the visa you had to redo your visa or something,

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Speaker 4: and then you got almost stuck in DC. I mean

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Speaker 4: it was I mean, there was a there were some

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Speaker 4: moments of that where there was a lot of you know,

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Speaker 4: he's got to go backstamp his visa and then he

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Speaker 4: has to stay there, but and then we don't know

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Speaker 4: how long he's going to be there for. And I'm like, well,

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Speaker 4: what do you mean you don't know how long you're

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Speaker 4: going to be there for? Like is it a week

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Speaker 4: or a month? And he's like, I don't know. The

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Speaker 4: ambassy could take this. So there was definitely some stressors

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Speaker 4: with with all the visa stuff, and because they're strict

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00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,919
Speaker 4: on it, when people do it the right way, you.

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Speaker 1: All have to forgive. But I think I actually broke

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Speaker 1: I think I actually talked to them about it in

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Speaker 1: the car in LA. So, hey, do you guys watch

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Speaker 1: ninety eight Beyond. We're such freaks about this show. We

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Speaker 1: are such fans, so that's why we always end up

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Speaker 1: bringing it.

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Speaker 4: Oh, we need to because we need a new show.

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Speaker 3: I would actually call it like a palett cleanser. It's

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Speaker 3: for us because we love horror movies. So it's a

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Speaker 3: palette cleanser for us, like let's just lighten things up here.

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Speaker 1: Wait, and I heard y'all say, y'all need a new show?

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Speaker 1: Did you all just get through one that you what

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Speaker 1: do you all watch together that you love?

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Speaker 4: We just watched The Gentleman, we loved that.

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Speaker 2: We American Primeval.

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Speaker 4: Primeval, American Primeval. That was another good on Netflix. I'm

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Speaker 4: on the new Hulu one right now called Paradise That

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00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 4: that's what James Marsden Sterling k Brown. And then we

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Speaker 4: obviously watched Yellowstone. We just binge that one.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, watching right, we do?

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Speaker 3: We're like either total trash or complete gore, Like we're really.

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Speaker 4: We liked Ultimatum and Love is Blind?

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Speaker 3: We like, so, yeah, we watched the Ultimatum and Love

383
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 3: is Blind too? Yes, so embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: Embarrassing at fine?

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Speaker 5: We do.

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Speaker 3: We actually look at it as like I'm taking notes

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Speaker 3: sometimes on what not to do about communication.

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Speaker 2: We do.

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Speaker 1: We learned a lot about communication that you all are

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Speaker 1: still newlyweds, I believe not even a full year yet

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Speaker 1: right officially married?

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Speaker 3: Do I have? Right?

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Speaker 4: Technically we are a full year mayor, but we're going

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Speaker 4: off of our off of our wedding day, which was

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Speaker 4: July thirteenth.

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Speaker 1: So either way, you all still qualified, don't you as newlywed?

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Speaker 1: So tell me, so you all describe for me. Jene Elstowe,

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Speaker 1: were you on this one, how would you describe the

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00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: first year of marriage? Once you all finally said I do?

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Speaker 1: What was that first immediate months and first year of marriage?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 4: The first month was amazing because we honeymoon in Italy

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Speaker 4: and I mean it was like our wedding was the

404
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 4: most magical. I mean it was the most perfect Scottish

405
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Speaker 4: day and sun and we had a rain. I mean

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Speaker 4: it was just it was beautiful. And then we went

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Speaker 4: to Italy and we honeymooned, and I think I had

408
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 4: it was so much leading up to the wedding too,

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Speaker 4: that when we got back in August from the honeymoon

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Speaker 4: and the kids starting school, it was like this not depression,

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Speaker 4: but I was like it was I was sad because

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Speaker 4: it was just it was over and I'm like, now

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Speaker 4: what now we're just married? You know what do we

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00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 4: not like I don't know, like we have nothing, like

415
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 4: nothing to look forward to. But I was like, I

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00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 4: just I was like, there was like this like I

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Speaker 4: don't know. I struggled a bit when we got back.

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Speaker 2: I went back to London for a week to see Troy.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because I was.

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Speaker 2: Going to have to then baton down the hatches for

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Speaker 2: ninety days from my dream card stuff.

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Speaker 4: But I think it's been. I think it has been.

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00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 4: To answer the question, it's been. You know, we went

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Speaker 4: into the holiday season and I love the holidays, and

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00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,639
Speaker 4: it's felt just it's so beautiful to just be to

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00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 4: have our blended family together and there's this I had

427
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 4: this like overwhelming just like peace and there I usually

428
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 4: live in kind of like a chaos, and I didn't

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00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,879
Speaker 4: have that. Like once the holidays hit, I just everything

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Speaker 4: kind of just settled down. I was like, this is

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Speaker 4: everything I've always dreamed of. I've got happy kids and

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00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 4: we're all blended and it's beautiful and everyone's happy and healthy,

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Speaker 4: and it was I just it was really nice. And

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Speaker 4: so it's been really beautiful. Hell that was the beautiful piece.

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00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 5: That's great.

436
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,159
Speaker 3: I'm going to ask you the next question, which is

437
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,239
Speaker 3: something we've asked everybody answered, however you feel comfortable with.

438
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 3: But how would you describe your sex life? That's that

439
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 3: for mel johna whoever would like to take a stab

440
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 3: at it.

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Speaker 7: No pun intended, no poke intended, Sally, I think it's incredible.

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00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

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00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great.

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00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 5: You knew.

445
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 4: It's very passionate and very sexy, but yet loving.

446
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 2: And we don't have sex. We make love.

447
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wasn't allowed. Yeah, it's we make love.

448
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: Wait, you just started a sentence by saying I wasn't

449
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: allowed and you stopped.

450
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 4: What was that I did? Because remember remember, like in

451
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 4: the beginning, I had said something and you're like, don't

452
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 4: say that, it cheapens it. Yeah, oh wow, you think

453
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 4: we make love?

454
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 1: Oh wow?

455
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it is very good.

456
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,439
Speaker 3: Well, we saw you earlier, so I pretty much already

457
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 3: know the answer to this. But how important is non

458
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 3: sexual physical touch to you and your relationship? How do

459
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 3: you prioritize that or do you not?

460
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 2: I don't think we. I don't think we really pay

461
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 2: attention to prioritize. And I think it and I'm not

462
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 2: being cheesy at all here, but I think it's something

463
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 2: that just naturally a cause between us, whether it's a

464
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 2: stroke or like a pinch of the butt or a slap,

465
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 2: whatever it may be, I think, or just a hug

466
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: like quite often but during the day in our house

467
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 2: we have Johanna's offices up here, mains downstairs o kaind

468
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 2: of walking past each other and some things we're just

469
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 2: stop and hug each other and then okay, yeah, we'll

470
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 2: go about they I think affections. It's a it's a

471
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 2: nice natural affection without being I.

472
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 4: Think something that we've tried to do too, because in

473
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 4: the morning, it's just you know, we got the baby,

474
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 4: we've got the two kids, make the lunches, get packed

475
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: their bags. Where it's starting the day embracing and giving

476
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 4: each other, even as simple as just like a hug,

477
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 4: just to be like hi, good morning, because if not,

478
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 4: we're just we get into a habit of just kind

479
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 4: of like passing. And for me, I need that like

480
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 4: closeness and just like a two second hug.

481
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 5: Mm hmm. It makes a huge difference.

482
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 4: It does. Yeah, and there's science behind it too, saying

483
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 4: having just that you know a few seconds of that

484
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 4: you know, touch and connection six seconds, six seconds, sorry,

485
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 4: six seconds.

486
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: The next question here is on the flip side of that,

487
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 1: how often do you fight?

488
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 2: Fight very very really have disagreements.

489
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 4: Once a month, yeah.

490
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 3: And is there something that you tend to fight about

491
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 3: specifically or can it be anything.

492
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 4: I think a lot of our disagreements come from when

493
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 4: I try to explain something, he goes to the defense

494
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I don't need you to defend it.

495
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 4: I just need you to hear me. I don't need

496
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 4: you to take on the fact that I've said, you know,

497
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 4: stuff in the house, is this, that, and the other.

498
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 4: He takes it on as can't you see what I do?

499
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm not I just need to voice

500
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 4: and explain and maybe ask for a little bit of help,

501
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 4: and he takes it on like he's not doing enough,

502
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 4: and I'm like, no, you are, Like in that same sentence,

503
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 4: I said, you know, thank you for what you do.

504
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 4: I just think I need a little more help with X.

505
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 4: And I think I don't know if I think it's

506
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 4: just a male thing too, but they think they might

507
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 4: go a little bit more on the defense of things.

508
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 4: And so where we just kind of miss each other

509
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 4: is I'm not trying to get down on him, but

510
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 4: I think our communication and that is just I just

511
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 4: want to be heard and he wants to just defend.

512
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, or have you seen the have you seen the

513
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 2: clip on social media on where the women that the

514
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 2: man and women are sitting on the sofa and the

515
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,199
Speaker 2: woman's got a nail poking out of her head and

516
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 2: she's she's sitting saying her husband, I mean, I just

517
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 2: don't feel right. I've got these headaches and I mean

518
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 2: there's just there's just something going on. And the guy's

519
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 2: looking all like and he's like, well, it might be

520
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 2: the nail that's stuck. And she's like, you're always trying

521
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 2: to tell me what You're always you're always trying to

522
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 2: find solutions. Don't tell me it's a nail in my head.

523
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 2: He's like, well, you've got a nail stick. I think

524
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: when Jana, when Janna speaking to me and trying to

525
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 2: communicate a certain way and she just wants to be held,

526
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, this is how we fix it. And

527
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 2: then I think is males we just try and me

528
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 2: just try and find solutions, don't we. So I think

529
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 2: rather than I some things I won't lessen as well

530
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 2: as I should, essentially, which can lead to the arguments.

531
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 5: It was so cute.

532
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 3: When I asked you guys, how often you fight or

533
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 3: what you fight about, you guys both got the cutest

534
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 3: sheep mote, like like sheepish grins on your faces.

535
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 5: Like it was almost funny or sport.

536
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 2: I don't know.

537
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 5: It didn't seem malicious in any way. It was sweet.

538
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 3: Actually, even to see you guys think about when you fight,

539
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 3: it actually still seemed cute. That is nauseating, but it

540
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 3: is actually.

541
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 4: What I saw because our fights aren't like they're not

542
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 4: they're not anything I've ever experienced before. Like they're just

543
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 4: which is why I don't really call them fights. And

544
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 4: we've had some, don't get us wrong, you know, and

545
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 4: they've been you know, loud, and but it's all out

546
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 4: of love. That's the thing, you know, It's all and

547
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 4: we're just there's just missus with the passion the Yeah.

548
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: All right, So for both of you here, can you

549
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: remember and tell us when was the last time you

550
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: needed to say I'm sorry to the other.

551
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 4: Last week week.

552
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 2: Over the same thing, over the same incident, Yeah, incident.

553
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 1: I think we will leave it at that.

554
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 2: Question.

555
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 4: I think there's just we all can play. That's the

556
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 4: thing that we all play a part in conflict. You

557
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 4: know what I mean, like, and I think there's though

558
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 4: and I can't even remember honestly what it was about. Now,

559
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 4: well do you yeah?

560
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: And I don't. I do remember, but I don't. I

561
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: don't deal Oh yeah, don't deal with conflict. Well, I

562
00:28:50,800 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 2: will either raise my voice and everyone cries, and.

563
00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 4: I don't deal well with raised voice.

564
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 2: Oh okay, And so we tend not to get into

565
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 2: the conflict much because Johnna Johannah Lake's ansos and lakes

566
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: to be lessened. When I'm like, oh fuck this, I'm not.

567
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: We're the the I don't like the conflict. I will

568
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 1: say I will stay here and I will work this

569
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: out with you. We can talk all day. But when

570
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: the voice goes up I raised my voice and that

571
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: thing I can't, then I'm completely checked out. That's a wrap.

572
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 3: And I've learned that that is not just ineffective, it's

573
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 3: massively counterproductive.

574
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 5: So I have worked on that significantly. Hopefully you've noticed.

575
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 4: Do you all?

576
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 5: Have you all gone to bed angry?

577
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 4: Well, that's interesting to go back to what you just said. TJ.

578
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 4: The other that same incident, He's like, you know, it's

579
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 4: about it was quite late. It was for us. It

580
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 4: was late, it was like ten thirty, eleven o'clock and

581
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 4: he's like, okay, what like, let's go. We're not going

582
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 4: another day, you know, being in this conflict. And he's like,

583
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 4: let's talk about it, and I'm like, I'm exhausted. I

584
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 4: don't want to talk about right now. I don't think

585
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 4: we're both in a spot to talk about it right now.

586
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 4: I don't think that's like our therapists tell us to,

587
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 4: you know, when we're red, we go to bed, you

588
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 4: know what I mean. So, and he does not like

589
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 4: going to bed angry, which I do love that aspect

590
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 4: of things, but I also think if we're not in

591
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 4: the right place to talk about it, the fight's just

592
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 4: going to continue.

593
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 3: True.

594
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 4: Which then the next morning we went. I was like, okay,

595
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 4: are we in a good place to talk about this,

596
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 4: because I'm in a good place are you? And we

597
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 4: sat there for an hour, we hashed it out, and

598
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 4: then we gave kisses and hugs and we were on

599
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 4: our way.

600
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not in a good place to talk

601
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 2: about it because I'm not slept the whole night of

602
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 2: it because I want to deal with it then, and

603
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: you don't want to.

604
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 5: I'm the same way as you. I want to hash

605
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 5: it out right there. I don't want to sleep on

606
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 5: I can't sleep. I'm like tortured. Yes, it's so funny, but.

607
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 1: It's gonna cost us another couple of nights because I'm

608
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: not in a good place. You're gonna make me talk

609
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: to you right now. I'm telling you I'm not in

610
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 1: a good place.

611
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 4: And then people say things they don't mean the good places,

612
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 4: And that is what you cannot come back from. For me,

613
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 4: when you say something that is not nice, you you're

614
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 4: not coming back from that for a couple of days.

615
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 4: Like I don't do well with that because I know

616
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 4: how bad words affect end. You just can't take back

617
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 4: the words. So you gotta be really careful in those moments.

618
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 3: It's so true, and I have learned, like it's so interesting,

619
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: it's so interesting. But even if I want or need something,

620
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 3: if he doesn't want or need it, it's not gonna

621
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 3: work and it's only gonna make things worse.

622
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 5: And so that is you do you learn how what

623
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 5: you get. You have to be willing to say okay,

624
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 5: it's better to do it, and to talk it out

625
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 5: when you're.

626
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 1: Calm'st to a happier note. For this next question, tell

627
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: me Alan what do you love most about And Jana

628
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 1: what do you love most about your.

629
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 2: Both like a touched on earlier HU smile it brightens

630
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 2: up any any day. So for me, I love not

631
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 2: just us smile the physical appearance of a smile, but

632
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 2: what's going on inside and a soul. And I think

633
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 2: amazing smile reflects every bit of kindness and care that

634
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 2: she's got for everyone around them. So yeah, the biggest

635
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 2: thing I love about her is is her smile.

636
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 4: I would say Allan is fiercely how he protects people

637
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 4: and how he like his loyalty to people is is

638
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 4: fierce and his protection and he's I just know that

639
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 4: when I'm when I'm you know, with him, like I'm good,

640
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 4: I feel I'm safe with him, He's going to always

641
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 4: protect me. And there's just this loyalty that I know

642
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 4: that he's always got not only me, you know, protected,

643
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 4: but us. And to know that he you know, he

644
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 4: wherever he goes or wherever we go, that you know,

645
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 4: he's always holding our relationship, our family in the highest

646
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 4: regards and protecting us.

647
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 5: I love that that he's not just protecting you, but

648
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 5: that he's protecting us. I love that. That's really cool,

649
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 5: that's awesome.

650
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 3: How do you guys handle some of the things that

651
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 3: so many couples end up fighting about are the mundane things,

652
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 3: but probably it's a deeper meaning.

653
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,719
Speaker 5: But how do you, guys, how have you tackled your finances?

654
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 5: Especially when you.

655
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 3: Come into a relationship later, you have your own way

656
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 3: of doing things and maybe you've you know, you've been

657
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 3: through other divorces, so you have certain walls up financially

658
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 3: to say, I got to protect myself.

659
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 5: How do you How have you guys handled that?

660
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 2: Good question, A really good question, because we both have

661
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 2: exes that we pay, so therefore there's that side of things.

662
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 2: We've both got our own careers, our own professions. So

663
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,320
Speaker 2: I think at the beginning things were really quite separate.

664
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: Went because I spend a lot of money going back

665
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 2: to London to see my son as well. So I

666
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 2: think at the beginning of fact, our finances were really

667
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 2: quite quite separated. I had come over to the US,

668
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 2: so I wasn't earning near what I earned in the UK.

669
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 2: I think since we got married, and since the wedding,

670
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 2: we've really started to I mean, we've really started to

671
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 2: join our finances and joint ventures and and now it

672
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 2: feels it feels a lot less, a lot less separate

673
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,879
Speaker 2: and more more combined and more exactly what our relationship

674
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:01,280
Speaker 2: is like. But yeah, that it does. It does, cause

675
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 2: it does. When you have those separate bells going out

676
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: for different things. It does cause end of a separation

677
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 2: at the beginning, doesn't it for sure? But no, it's

678
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:13,240
Speaker 2: it's different.

679
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: Next up here, how do you all handle stuff around

680
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: the house? The household little duties from cooking, cleaning, parenting,

681
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 1: and the one that's really tripped up a lot of

682
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: our couple's laundry. We'd like to hear as well.

683
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 2: We just didn't.

684
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 4: I don't know, are you Are you actually kidding right now?

685
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 4: I do laundry for everybody in the house, everybody, And

686
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 4: actually I would love to just ask you this question

687
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 4: right now while it's it's happening in the moment.

688
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 2: You've been defensive. Yes, okay, go ahead.

689
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 4: He rarely does the laundry, and that's okay. And because

690
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 4: we'll talk about all don't be like we're gonna.

691
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 2: Tell you all that for five days and you win

692
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 2: them for five minutes.

693
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 4: That's not true. And so he'll grab the laundry basket

694
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 4: and he'll leave it in the laundry.

695
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 2: Room from the bedroom baskets in the bedroom.

696
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 4: Well in the bedroom, but it's in the closet in

697
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 4: the bedroom. Yeah, and then he'll leave it in the

698
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 4: laundry room and he'll throw it in. But the problem

699
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 4: is is when he does the laundry, it doesn't get

700
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 4: finished right. So when I throw in laundry, I put

701
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 4: it in. I then transfer it to the dryer, and

702
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 4: then within that day, if not the next morning, I

703
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 4: make sure that it is folded and then put away

704
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,800
Speaker 4: with allan it's in the wash for and and I

705
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 4: watched this happen because I'm like, all right, this is

706
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 4: his once the every few months, he's going to bring

707
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 4: the laundry thing in there. You leave it in there,

708
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,240
Speaker 4: and then it stays in the wash for like four days.

709
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 5: So it gets just molded and mildewy, and then yeah.

710
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 4: It doesn't And I saw I saw him the other

711
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 4: day transfering it in the dryer, and I was like,

712
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 4: are you seriously transferring the four day wet, gross molded

713
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 4: stuff into the dryer?

714
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 3: Now?

715
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 4: Like, now is the time you want to do it,

716
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 4: like not four days ago or whatever. And he's like,

717
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 4: it's fine, it doesn't smell. So then he puts it

718
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 4: in the dryer. Well, it's still sitting in the dryer.

719
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 4: The laundry baskets still there. So now the clothes that

720
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 4: are in the closet are now piling up on the

721
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 4: floor and I'm like, least put the basket back in

722
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 4: the room. I'm like, please, just don't. I appreciate you trying.

723
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 4: And there must have been something you really needed to wash,

724
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 4: because that might have been the reason why you did it.

725
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 4: But I'll just take it from here. It's still because

726
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 4: now who's folding it?

727
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 2: So to summarize that, Johana does all the washing until

728
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,280
Speaker 2: I selfish needs something washed for myself.

729
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 4: Are you admitting that, Yeah, we had a breakthrough.

730
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 5: It is amazing and has Yes.

731
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 1: He laundry gets everybody. Every couple gets going on laundry.

732
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:58,760
Speaker 5: It's so funny.

733
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 4: Well, I think it heart and I'll say this, Alan

734
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 4: is an incredible house like partner in this where it's

735
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 4: like we he cooks. He's an amazing chef. I can't

736
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 4: cook to save my life, So this man cooks. I

737
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 4: just do the sides, like I'll do I'll throw in

738
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 4: the brussels or the steams and whatever. But when it

739
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 4: comes to like the main dish, I mean, he is,

740
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 4: he's our chef, like he's incredible, and then I usually

741
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 4: I'll I like cleaning. I love cleaning. My countertops are

742
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 4: my thing. I'm very anal about them. They must be

743
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 4: clean and white. So I like to clean. And but

744
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 4: like in the mornings, like we both empty the dishwasher together,

745
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 4: I'm like, babe, stop, no, I'll do it, and he's like, no, no,

746
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:35,879
Speaker 4: I'll do it, and then we're both doing it together.

747
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 4: So we do a lot of things together because we

748
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 4: don't want the other person to feel like, you know,

749
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 4: they're not. But the laundry is definitely one of those

750
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 4: things where you know, I'm washing for five people, you know,

751
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 4: the baby, the two, the three kids, me, him, and

752
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 4: so it does become But I will say this in

753
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 4: his defense. Whenever I am folding it when he's around,

754
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 4: he'll come and sit there and help me fold and

755
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 4: I'll be like, no, babe, don't worry about it. And

756
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 4: then he'll go, Okay, credit for the attempt.

757
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 5: I get it. It's so funny.

758
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: So Yeah, she does the laundry and I cook, and

759
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 2: I and I deal with the forty five Amazon boxes

760
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 2: that arrive every single day that pile up, that pile

761
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 2: up in the in the hallway. But people just think

762
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 2: they magically disappear in the house. I take them. I

763
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 2: take them to the dumpster every single day.

764
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 1: And you have to fold them down before you take

765
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 1: them out there, right, that takes No, you don't do that.

766
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 2: In the back of the truck. They get they get

767
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 2: taken as they are boxed up, fully structured, and they

768
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 2: go into the.

769
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: I was trying to throw your bone there man about

770
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 1: how difficult it was to take the box to Wait.

771
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 4: Which one do you guys do? I know you guys

772
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 4: are probably talked about this, but I'm just curious. What

773
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 4: does the laundry?

774
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: Oh, we both do laundry because we still have two places,

775
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: but I end up doing the laundry for three between

776
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: her and my daughter Sabine, and so I probably wash more.

777
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 5: You might.

778
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 3: I mean, look, it's we have this weird thing that

779
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 3: we need to remedy at some point soon. But we

780
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 3: we we have two residences, but we spend every single

781
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 3: night together.

782
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,720
Speaker 4: So it's ridiculous and funds like it's money wasting.

783
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 5: It is really the financial toilet bowl.

784
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 3: But yes, but but we we actually kind of had

785
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:26,320
Speaker 3: been so used to doing everything on our own for

786
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 3: our family. So now when we're together, it's just great

787
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 3: because we're just like each other's wingman, you know. And

788
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 3: I used to be the sole person who cooked before,

789
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 3: and he was the sole person who cooked before.

790
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 5: So now he's better than me. And so I was funny,

791
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 5: I made Brussels sprouts last night. I was laughing when

792
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 5: you said that. I was like, and I made the

793
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 5: side last night.

794
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,879
Speaker 3: So yeah, I have now reverted to being maybe more

795
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 3: of the soux chef and the sides person. But I

796
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 3: am so happy after having decades of being the sole

797
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 3: person in charge of cooking.

798
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,439
Speaker 5: I'm grateful that he's so good at what he does.

799
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:02,839
Speaker 3: Yeah.

800
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,720
Speaker 1: Oh, the laundry is hilarious everybody.

801
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:06,760
Speaker 5: That's not our issue.

802
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 3: It gets to everybody, but it's everyone else's issue. It's fascinating.

803
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:11,280
Speaker 2: That's funny.

804
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: How about this, guys, how much alone time or should

805
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 1: I say how much time away from each other do

806
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 1: you feel you ever need.

807
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 4: I'm the worst person to ask for us, because I

808
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 4: could just be sitting next to him the entire day

809
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 4: and be so happy, like, I just love being with you.

810
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,280
Speaker 4: You know, the other day I was with a sleepover

811
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 4: with my daughter. I took her to this water park

812
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 4: and slept over with her, and I'm like, I miss you.

813
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 4: I know that's silly, but that was in my text

814
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,320
Speaker 4: because I just I love being next to him, and

815
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 4: sometimes it is nice to share a battle, to just

816
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 4: have your bed to yourself. He likes to say he

817
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 4: likes to have his bed like a bed alone because

818
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 4: he likes to fart, so like and I won't be

819
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 4: in the bed. But like for me, I just am like,

820
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 4: I just love being around him.

821
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 2: So we didn't have that.

822
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: Question on the list farts more. I'm sorry we missed

823
00:41:59,080 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 1: that one.

824
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 2: Jenn thoughts, period, I just don't do it when she's around.

825
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 5: How about you? How much alone time do you need?

826
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 2: Not a lot? I mean, we don't really do alone

827
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: time anymore. I think we are. I don't. I don't

828
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,919
Speaker 2: really need time away from her, to be honest, I don't.

829
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 2: It feels weird, like touching on the Johanna was at

830
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 2: the the place a few days ago, and it just

831
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 2: feels weird when she's not there. It just feels it

832
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 2: just feels odd when she's when she's not around. So

833
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 2: I don't think we I don't think we ever want

834
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 2: alone time, do we?

835
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 4: I mean, what we could do it right now?

836
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 6: Was there?

837
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 4: Do you want like a one day a week where

838
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 4: you're like, I'm just going to go to my office

839
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 4: and or I want to just go to this room

840
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 4: by myself.

841
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:58,800
Speaker 2: Do I want that?

842
00:42:59,040 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 4: Yeah?

843
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 2: My office anyway, so we have we have that time

844
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 2: away from each other during the day. But even then

845
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 2: I'll just wander upstairs to see you. Oh, she will

846
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 2: open her head in the office and the just just

847
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 2: a little thing. We don't need, We don't need a

848
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 2: long time. We probably don't do it well either.

849
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 5: That's really sweet. Have you all ever been to a

850
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:22,399
Speaker 5: couple of therapy together.

851
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we have. We've needed We've had our our

852
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 4: therapists come together and do a joint session when we

853
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 4: weren't able to.

854
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 2: We did a collab wed.

855
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 5: Your therapist meets my therapist if we all get along.

856
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

857
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 7: Yeah.

858
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:45,439
Speaker 4: They work in the same building, so it's nice because

859
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 4: they know each other. But it's it's it was good.

860
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 4: I mean, we we had something that we needed help

861
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 4: walking through, and yeah, and it was, it was very helpful.

862
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: All right, last few we're going to get through here.

863
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: Have you ever threatened to break up, leave, get divorced

864
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: in the middle of a heated argument.

865
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 4: I have never.

866
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 2: Never divorced. No a threated to leave, leave that leave

867
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,800
Speaker 2: the house because I can't be asked with the argument anymore.

868
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 2: But I think I think, deep down I would. She

869
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,879
Speaker 2: knows I would never ever want to be without ever.

870
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 5: Therefore, no, okay, you just totally made up for that.

871
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 5: That was really sweet. And to that point, what is

872
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 5: the sweetest thing your partner has done for you?

873
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 6: Maybe you can answer that first and some of the

874
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 6: most romantic, the sweetest thing my partners ever, I mean, well,

875
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 6: I mean this is a big thing, but I mean

876
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 6: he left the country that he lived and had, you know,

877
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 6: he had a he has a son that lives there,

878
00:44:57,719 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 6: and the fact that he.

879
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 4: Came here and gave up so much to have this

880
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 4: life with me is you know, very appreciative of that.

881
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 4: And that's a very big gesture and a lot of sacrifice.

882
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 4: So and then the sweetest thing, I mean, he leaves

883
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 4: me notes all the time, and he's very he's very

884
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 4: thoughtful in that regard, and he brings me flowers all

885
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 4: the time. I've never had so many flowers in my life.

886
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 4: Every time he not every time, but every almost every

887
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 4: other He's always coming home with a bouquet of flowers

888
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 4: and he puts it and he puts it in the base.

889
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 4: It's not like he just leaves them like he's he's like,

890
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 4: you know, decorating the flowers and putting them on the table,

891
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:44,280
Speaker 4: and it's just it's very sweet. He cares.

892
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 2: Sweetest thing that you've done for me. I think that

893
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,959
Speaker 2: from a bigger picture thing as ho Jana has taken

894
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 2: my son, my seventeen year old son and Bill. It's

895
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 2: depical because he loves in life and then we're here,

896
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: but how she will constantly text them and try and

897
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 2: make sure there's always part of things and always want

898
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: them here. So that's really sweet because it's not always

899
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 2: easy when kids are older and more of the like

900
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 2: a daily our lives together. Like Jana was leaving, I

901
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 2: had clients in town that I was coaching, and Jana

902
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 2: was leaving to go to Oklahoma for a movie. So

903
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,879
Speaker 2: there was a period of about four days we weren't

904
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 2: going to be with each other, and I promise you

905
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 2: not that there must have been. And it's so funny,

906
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 2: like there was noes all over the house. Part of

907
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 2: it because she doesn't trust me with some things in

908
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 2: the house, like leaving the burner on.

909
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 4: Constantly leaves the burners left.

910
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 2: On sometimes, but again it's a lot of averages when

911
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 2: you cook every day sometimes.

912
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 1: God, that's so good.

913
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 2: So anyway, going back to my little sweet wife, like

914
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: there was a message on the shower, you're so sexy.

915
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 2: There was a message on There's a message on the kettle,

916
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 2: enjoy your morning coffee. There was a message I go

917
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 2: out and use We have an outside toilet which is

918
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 2: my second office, which I frequent and there was even

919
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: there was a note on the toilet. There was a

920
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 2: note on the mirror. The note on the toilet was

921
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 2: I'm going to miss you, stinky, and just everywhere, like

922
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 2: there was messages underneath the pillow and that's just that's

923
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 2: just she just goes the extra mile with everything to

924
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 2: make you feel loved and cherished and yeah, so sweet.

925
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: All right, you'll hit on something that humor has been

926
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,800
Speaker 1: a theme of all of our couple. That's absolutely president

927
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 1: in every one of those relationships, but last one will

928
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: get you out on it saves a little cheesy, hoky

929
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 1: and obvious. But everybody who meets a successful couple that

930
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 1: wants what that couple has will ask this question. So

931
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: I'll put it to you all, what is the key?

932
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 1: What is the secret to lasting relationship success? What would

933
00:47:58,280 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 1: you tell?

934
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 2: Don't It's a good question, but I don't think it's

935
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 2: just one thing. I think it's.

936
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 7: For me.

937
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 4: I'll just say it's yeah, I'm thinking to appreciate the

938
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,279
Speaker 4: person because I think so often in relationships when we

939
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 4: can nitpick. So instead of going to something like you

940
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 4: don't do this, it's thank you for what you do,

941
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 4: and so just to acknowledge everything that they do do

942
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 4: for you and to highlight that instead of always highlighting

943
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:31,800
Speaker 4: what they don't do for you.

944
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 2: And who speaks so well whether follow that that's why

945
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 2: you need to let me go faster? What is the key?

946
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 2: I think it's I think a part of it is

947
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 2: keeping the is keeping the passion and energy in it.

948
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 2: So I think the love making and sex life sight

949
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 2: of it is is so important. Think the trust and respect.

950
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 2: Say this so impotant because that ignites the passion and

951
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 2: the and the kind of sex life side of it.

952
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 2: But I think just just making sure, like I'm always

953
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: really wary of Okay, am I am I a good

954
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 2: person to be around today? Am I going to be

955
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:26,760
Speaker 2: a good husband today? Or am I making how attached

956
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 2: from me because of my behavior? So I think just

957
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 2: the self recognition of just be a good person for

958
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 2: your wife to be around and she'll want to hang

959
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 2: around with you. So I think there's I think there's

960
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 2: a few things, but I think that's that's a big one.

961
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,800
Speaker 4: You can go a little inside your head sometimes.

962
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,240
Speaker 2: And yeah, I'm an I'm an introverted.

963
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 4: He's an introverted and I'm very extroverted with my thinking

964
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 4: and thoughts, and he's just like in his head, I'm like,

965
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 4: are you here? You're listening to me?

966
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 2: Are you? Or like?

967
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 4: And so I do you even want me to be here?

968
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 4: But he's really just thinking of you know, probably one thing.

969
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 3: You know what we we so appreciate your willingness to

970
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 3: just let us go in deep in your relationship. You know,

971
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 3: these are questions I think a lot of people want

972
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 3: to ask, like what's it really like in their relationship?

973
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 5: And thank you for answering them.

974
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:21,439
Speaker 3: Honestly and with humor, and I we we learn every

975
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 3: time every quay, like I'm taking notes at what you all.

976
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 5: Do that we could work on.

977
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,879
Speaker 3: And I think everyone listening is doing the same thing.

978
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,720
Speaker 3: But first and foremost, just thank you for being willing

979
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 3: to answer these questions and share very private things with us,

980
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:38,319
Speaker 3: because we love your love.

981
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 5: You guys are adorable.

982
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 3: I wish everybody could see what we're seeing and we'll

983
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 3: have some video of it. But you guys are like

984
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:46,839
Speaker 3: you can tell like the love is real.

985
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 5: Well, love is there. You've you've been down different paths

986
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 5: and you're together and it's really sweet witness and watch.

987
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,359
Speaker 4: So thank you well, thank you for having us out.

988
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 4: We appreciate it.

989
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 1: We'll see you soon. Get on that laundry, brother

990
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:06,399
Speaker 4: Ye, I'm gonna go fold it there for ten days, Okay, bye,

991
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 4: god bye love work