1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:05,040 Speaker 1: Have you gone through something traumatic now and is there 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,519 Speaker 1: to be too expensive? 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 2: Well, have you tried making a TikTok one is that's divorced? 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 3: After my family dog died, my parents said it should 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 3: have been me. 6 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 2: But what they didn't though is I was recording them. 7 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 4: I got tons of followers and revenge. 8 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 3: Why tell one therapist your problems that you could tell 9 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 3: the world. That's true advertising for TikTok. It's a jewbile 10 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 3: show and the only place anybody gets advice from anymore 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 3: is on TikTok. And if you haven't gone on TikTok 12 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 3: in the last five seconds, because everybody's on TikTok. 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 2: All the time. 14 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 3: Therapy is a huge thing on TikTok, and therapists have 15 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 3: released a list of the phrases that they wish people 16 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 3: would stop saying on TikTok. Okay, and then we'll go 17 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 3: over them right now. 18 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 5: You're thinking was helping too, But if they're using it wrong, 19 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 5: that's the problem. 20 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 3: I think that is the problem is most of the 21 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 3: people that are handing out therapy advice on TikTok are 22 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 3: not actual therapists, and they're people like this. 23 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: I think the waiter forgot our water. He's gaslighting us. 24 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 4: That's what that's gaslighting. 25 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 2: That is a pie. You can't hold space for us. 26 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 4: I literally I hold space all the time. 27 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 2: I'm holding everybody all the time. Like right now, I'm 28 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 2: holding the handicapped space. Yes, I'm holding it for me, 29 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 2: for someone with a handicapp No, it's self care with it. 30 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 4: Self care is important. 31 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 3: But the phrases that therapists are begging people to stop 32 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 3: using on TikTok, I'll tell you what the number one 33 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 3: is in the second, but here's one. Cut them off, 34 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,680 Speaker 3: no explanation needed. 35 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 4: Isn't that good for you? Because that's not a bad. 36 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 2: Thing, that's cult behavior. 37 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 3: Well, it says sometimes an explanation can be helpful. Ghosting 38 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 3: isn't self care. It's just confusing and emotionally immature. Not 39 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 3: everything is a snip snip energy moment. Okay, this is. 40 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 5: Kind of frustrating because I think that sometimes you do 41 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 5: need to do that, just cut them off, yes, because 42 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 5: otherwise you put yourself in a situation where you could 43 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 5: be going into a spiral. But I'm only speaking from experience, 44 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 5: not from psychology. 45 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 4: I agree with you. 46 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 3: Not everybody deserves an explanation, right, Yeah. 47 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: But don't you need like that cut off where it's 48 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: like that you like you're communicating with them, Because I 49 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: do understand where they say it's like more immature in 50 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: a sense of like kind of like closing the book, 51 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 1: like don't ghost them. 52 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 5: But at the end of the day, you're protecting your 53 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 5: own piece. I don't have to worry about you. Oh 54 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 5: if I do, then I could be putting myself in 55 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 5: a situation where I'm exerting more energy. I don't know, man, 56 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 5: I use a lot of these words because I think 57 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 5: that they make sense. 58 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 2: There is a time and a place for doing these things. 59 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 2: I'm assuming. 60 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 6: But it's just like people will do this at the 61 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 6: drop of a hat because some dummy who has a 62 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 6: course on TikTok and no credentials told them too. 63 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 3: And I think, you know, explanation needed can depend right, 64 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 3: Like people don't want to have the I'm breaking up 65 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 3: with you conversation on a text or whatever, right right, 66 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,679 Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, if there's the 67 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 3: relationship is bad and you can't sit down with the 68 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 3: person to have a conversation with them, you send them 69 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 3: a text and say it's over, and then you've communicated 70 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 3: it and then you just don't respond. That's the hard 71 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 3: part is not respond. 72 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 4: You have to block them, protect your piece. Oh dang 73 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 4: that or other person is going what does that happen? 74 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 5: But if you're getting blocked, you, if you're getting blocked, 75 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 5: you did something to deserve it. Oh you know what 76 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 5: I mean? You can't say poor other person when the 77 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 5: chances are they're the one that drove you crazy and 78 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 5: it made you block them in the first place. 79 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 3: Another thing that therapists are asking people to stop doing 80 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 3: on TikTok, I'm an EmPATH, so blank. 81 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 5: Okay, okay, I think I hate this conversation because the 82 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 5: thing is, if you are somebody that identifies as an impath, wait, 83 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 5: what is hand? I'm raised over here? You're somebody that 84 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 5: picks up on other people's energy. Also, like when you 85 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 5: walk into a room, if there's a lot of stuff 86 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 5: going on, you probably feel it and it can get 87 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 5: a little bit overwhelming for you. 88 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 4: So you have to learn how to tune it down. 89 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 5: Now, while I understand it can be reckless to have 90 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 5: people like prescribing things and talking about, you know, therapy 91 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 5: and a certain way, it's kind of comforting to hear 92 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 5: other people experience the same things you do, especially for 93 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 5: other people that say that they are empaths or you know, 94 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 5: we're going through a breakup or cut somebody off. Like, 95 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 5: I think there's positive things that come with this. 96 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 6: I think the issue here is everyone wants to be special, 97 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 6: and there's a difference between having empathy, which is what 98 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 6: we should all have, and being quote end quote an EmPATH. 99 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's ridiculous. 100 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 3: Empathy is something that everybody should have. It would be 101 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 3: interesting on TikTok go. Yeah, I don't have any I'm 102 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 3: not an impath at all. I don't care what a 103 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 3: great account idea that because I hear the word impath 104 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 3: is thrown around so much on social media. It really is. 105 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 4: But that's so sack. 106 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: I think it's because a lot of people also just 107 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:40,840 Speaker 1: don't care, which is sad. 108 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 5: But when some people truly do feel so much and 109 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 5: they don't know what that means, I think you feel 110 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 5: I do. Yeah, that's why that's something. 111 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 2: But Nina, if the shoe doesn't fit, do not wear it? 112 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 4: What do you mean if this? 113 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,840 Speaker 2: If it's gonna upset you, like, if you are that, 114 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 2: then you should be mad about It's fine. They're telling 115 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 2: people who are not this to be that, to not 116 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 2: do that? 117 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 4: Oh are you really? 118 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 2: Yeah? 119 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 6: Yeah, they're not saying you shouldn't be getting upset right now. 120 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 6: You should be like, yeah, stop doing that. 121 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 5: That's mine, Okay, I should say that. 122 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,239 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, that's mine. 123 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 4: I'm good at saying that. 124 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 3: The word therapists are sharing things that they wish people 125 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 3: would stop saying on TikTok because everybody's a therapy expert 126 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 3: on TikTok, and the actual experts are asking people to 127 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 3: stop saying these things. They're usually saying them wrong. I'm 128 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 3: setting a boundary don't contact me ever again, right, Not 129 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 3: a boundary. That's a dramatic exit line, they say, which 130 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 3: also has its place, yes, but. 131 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 2: It is not a boundary. H. 132 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 3: The boundary is also thrown around a TikTok like crazy. 133 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 3: A boundary is never about telling somebody else what to do. 134 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,479 Speaker 3: It's just what you'll do, right, Yeah, it's Hey, if 135 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 3: you contact me, I will not be responding. 136 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:45,359 Speaker 1: That's about. 137 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 3: If you contact me three times, I will block you. 138 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 3: If you contact me seventeen times in a row, I 139 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,720 Speaker 3: will polls. That's a boundary, right. A boundary is not 140 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,119 Speaker 3: like you can't contact me because you can't control another person. 141 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,160 Speaker 3: Like right, they can contact you what they want, but 142 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 3: what are you gonna do? Yeah, and then sticking to 143 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 3: the boundary is the hard thing. 144 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,280 Speaker 4: And that's why blocking helps you sometimes. 145 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 5: And if you can't stick to your own boundaries, hit 146 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 5: the block button. 147 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 3: It's another phrase that therapists would like people to stop 148 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 3: saying on TikTok. It's not my job to teach them 149 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 3: how to love me, they say, But you need to 150 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 3: communicate your needs. Being a mind reader looking for mind 151 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 3: readers is not going to get you successful in love. 152 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 4: I agree with this one. 153 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 3: The number one thing that therapists are asking people to 154 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 3: stop saying on TikTok is if they wanted to, they would. 155 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 5: But if they wanted to, what am they is the 156 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 5: therapy talk? 157 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 4: Or is that just common sense? 158 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 6: It's also just not true, right? What about life circumstances? 159 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 6: What do you mean think about something? If they wanted to, 160 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 6: they would. Victoria's wanted to go to Spain forever, hasn't 161 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 6: want you would? 162 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 3: I don't want it. 163 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 2: If you want, you. 164 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:04,040 Speaker 4: Have sick days, you have personal dane. 165 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 5: Do I just know Spain? 166 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 2: No, that's not the point. My point is you would. 167 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 2: It's a nonsense phrase. 168 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 6: It's an easy way to boil down the fact that 169 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 6: they're not doing exactly what you want them to do, 170 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 6: discounting the fact that they have life circumstances right. 171 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 3: Also, human behavior is complex. Yeah, so somebody could really, 172 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 3: really really want to love you like you want to 173 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 3: be loved. They also might not have the capacity because 174 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 3: they don't know their own stuff yet, So they might 175 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 3: inside really want to but they just keep failing and 176 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 3: they can't do it. But if that's for them to 177 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 3: work on themselves and for you to be like, well, 178 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 3: I can't be with them because they don't know how 179 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 3: to love me. 180 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 5: But sometimes I think that people tell themselves that narrative 181 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 5: to make it easier to not worry about understanding where 182 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 5: they're coming from, so that they can block it out 183 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 5: so you don't have to feel it. 184 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the problem, TikTok. 185 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 6: Everything gets boiled down to four words instead of understanding 186 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 6: humans and nuance. 187 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 3: Therapists added on, have you ever wanted to clean your 188 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 3: room and still didn't? 189 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 2: Exactly right? 190 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 3: You have also wanted to ending at some point, so